who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Thursday, November 29, 2007

shut up and drive!

i like to think myself as the pro when it comes to driving, since i was 16/17yrs, whenever it was since i was bold enough to sneak out with the car, i've never had an accident. i've been called a rough rider, someone said kind of like rough on the edges smooth on the surface(watever that means), i love speed, well thats when i'm the source of the speed, and i'm driving by myself(me alone in a car brings out the roadrunner in me).my favorite me joke is saying the only time i would have an accident is if i happen to own a hummer,cos i'd keep driving it into walls and fences delibrately, i hate the car to bits and would derive absolute pleasure in seeing it ruined.(the car would be a gift by the way)
theres all this awareness in the media of the dangers of multi tasking while driving,novembers' edition of readers digest gave some horrid details and facts of DUI, and the current issue of american edition of cosmopolitan mag had a story of 4 young girls, fresh out of high school who perished in a car crash, there's evidence that a text message was sent by the driver of the vehicle at the time of the fatal crash, but no proof as to if that was the cause...

i pride myself on being a suave driver, and an intelligent one too,parallel parking aint nothing on me(round of applause here) i'm one of those who multi task while driving, i create playlist on my ipod or search for songs, eat , make calls, text chat, look sideways at the passenger seat to smile for the camera...or if i have a bright idea i quikly pick up my pen,put the notepad on the steering and i'm jotting and driving same time, and when my lil' angels are in the car with me, i'm constantly looking back to check out what they are up to, playing games with em and bending down to pick up stuff...and of course there is the occassisonal makeup sessions(NOTE: not makeout sessions, havent tried that yet).
with me and most chics,i'm guessing the rear view mirror is more of a face view mirror, how many times have i reversed while staring in the mirror only to realise its my face staring back and not the rear...its a miracle i've never run into a lil' child or a curella's brand new jeep while staring at myself...now that would have been an eye opener.
i hate to admit it but there have been a couple of DUI's,i prefer to drive myself home after a party(not like i party much)i'm more alert then and my friends trust me enough to deliver us home safely after our time out, but it doesnt matter how safe i can be, its wrong, i'm feeling its alright cos i can be safe, but what of the others who think its alright too and end up loosing their lifes and taking that of others with em' all because like me, maybe they felt they were safe.

i've realised it doesnt matter that i've never had an accident, from the way i've been going, maybe it'd be someday and i wouldnt have a second chance to learn from that mistake...(i know i've seen myself crash a few times...remember in a previous post'weird stuff" i said i kind of see things and i think maybe God's trying to show me what might have been)
i've got a friend who loves to put his screen down when he drives, to impress the ladies? i wouldnt know, cos it really doesnt make sense that u're driving and watching a movie same time. and another who almost had an accident with me in the car cos he was searching something out on his PDA for me...thinking back all i can say is WOW...that'd have been fatal, and one who prides himself on being called SPEED cos he's mad crazy when it comes to driving, another chic who just loves to give the guys a run for their cars, sort of proving that 'my car may not be hot as yours but i can make it work better than you can handle yours'...only it was my car she loved to use to prove that. the other who loves to give me driving sex tales, fact or fiction, it doent matter, it bores down to unneccesary risk(what happens if u crash and die when being all kinky...)

i hate using handsfree devices, but i'm going to try or learn to use the speaker, i'll put on my make up before i start moving, i'll wait till i'm packed before sending txt msges, i wouldnt indulge my nieces anymore by letting them drive with me without their seatbelts on neither would i let anyone of em who's been good to seat on my laps while driving(i'll find another treat for them), my rear view would be used for what it is(hopefully i wouldnt be viewing anybody's rear lol)

hope y'all try to limit your multitasking while driving...lets keep ourselves alive a lil' bit longer aight?


this pics says it all for the guys

Thursday, November 22, 2007

30 Days of thankfulness - Day 23

i was tagged by ejura
Join me in the Thankfulness Chain....if you've been tagged, please complete the tag on the assigned day example... if you're tagged for November 21... that is day 21 and you should title your post 30 Days of Thankfulness - Day 21 provide a link to the person that tagged you previously Also provide a link to the two people that you're tagging for the next day so we can all follow the chain... DO let them know they're being tagged.. why they're being tagged, and how to grow the chain if you're unable to do the tag on your assigned day... still choose the day to reflect the date you do it (if you're choosing not to back date it) ...example... if you're tagged for November 25 but dont get to do it till November 27... and you're not back dating.. it's okay to do it as Day 27 you can post these rules or something to this effect to help it along.. :-) (From Diamond)

i'm thankful

to God for his grace and mercy and blessings despite myself...

for my family, for mom who is the ultimate woman of substance, my bros and sis who are princes and princesses of a kind, my nieces who have brought sunshine into our lifes...

for each new day that passes, cos as each night kisses the day goodbye i get closer to understanding who i am, closer to stop questioning what i am about, and accepting that i am a creature unlike any other and this is not my curse as i see it but a blessing.

for coffee and oreos and icecream, caramel, plantain, cerealac and fried yam...without them i wouldnt make the uhmmmmmm sound so often...

for music, for they soothe, they energize, and they just make everything seem alright.for frank sinatra, john legend and neyo's unique sound that makes me all warm and tingly when i lie in my bed at night, where would i be without the thrills of hearing micheal jackson beat it,or katie melua and amy winehouse and .......

that i can skip a meal or two just because i feel like and not because i dont have any and that i can say 'i've got it all'...well sort of, most of the things i still wish for are mostly out of greed.

for greys anatomy...all those mcsteamys and mcdreamys

for pens and papers, even though i'm not a master of the craft of writing, my life would have been impossible if i couldnt jot my thots down no matter how plain they might be in my lil' but imposing glittery book and my...

for books, they are first class tickets to my journey of imaginations and fantasies, they've opened me up to explore worlds unknown,showed me world in colours so bright and beautiful

i'm thankful for much more, more than i can ever say, for all my senses and for every hair on my body, for every disappiontments i've faced, for i've come to realise they are bigger blessings in disguise, for success, for closure, for protection.....for the rains and the sun, for the birds and the trees....i think i'll just sum it all up to this THANK YOU JESUS!!!!

i'm tagging supergirl, bighead

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

fantasy queen...8 weird things!!!!

i got tagged by olamild...shoot, now i have to admit i'm a serial killer !!!
where do i start from, cos i'm sure i'm pretty normal, wish i could say i turn into a butterfly anytime i'm kissed or my kisses turn frogs to princes or my nose grows long when i lie,but i'm only human so here are eight weird things(if i figure i cant find up to eight then i'd just have to remix the earlier weirds...although i'm sure theres nothing weird about me..

1.body: I'm a cold blooded animal...its weird? no matter how hot the weather is my feet and palms are always almost ice cold,i love it but makes it difficult for holding hand in cold weather.

2.food:when it comes to food....i come from a family where of semi explorers...
me...i'm a friend yam/plantain chic, all year round. sometimes i go days without food, just drinks. i'm a sucker for baby food....could live on cerealac for weeks.

3.looks: my look is my greatest insecurity...this would be weird to those who know me, not blowing horns here but i get to be called 'pretty' and 'beautiful' now and then...but i'm insecure about it, reasons? dunno!!!

4.sleep: i love teddys and dolls but if they happen to be around my bed at night i drag em by the ear and fling em far away from my bedroom(giving them the worst abuse ever, incase they really are evil at night), i do that to my nieces teletubbies, barbies and stuffed animals too...dont blame me, chukky from childs play and taunts from my brother of my dolls being chukky incarnates taught me to be wise and i still feel weird about em' at night and i know i have to cuddle up before i can sleep so i use my pillow as substitute. ...i cant sleep without covering my feet,if i happen to doze off in the living room, then the throw pillow or whatever book/magazine i'm reading acts as my substitute blanket,its from a childhood of being scared a monster would be come from under the bed to drag me down...so there u go.

5.nonchalant: em' lets see...i'm a master of missed opportunities..i kind of have a way of getting what i want from people, u know, i just ask and somehow the toughest of em are mellow and give in, so i tend not to ask alot cos i feel its me being manipulative and i hate manipulative people

6.emotions: i dont cry, i find it so difficult to cry especially at hard things, a death, heartbreaks(not like i get em)disappointments, scolding and all em' stuff, but the littlest of things, a kiss from my nieces and i tear up, a lil' dialogue in a movie and i cry...etc, then i cry when i'm sick especially during consultation.talking about sick, i know i'm falling ill when suddenly i'm taking off my earrings and every jewelry on my body, especially my anklet, which is like the most permanent fixture on my body(once it comes off i know it's a bad illness)...i feel like the metals are evils that add fuel to the fire of my shivers...

7.supernatural: i have flash back episodes in my life,sort of dejavu's i see things in my dreams that seem so real and soon after in reality i find myself in a place i've never being but looks familiar and i realize its from my dream and things are going almost accordingly...in that category too, i walk down the stairs and in a flash i see myself falling...or i'm driving and i see myself crashing, it feels like i have insights of what might have been but something stopped it from ending that way...now this is a fact, a scary one too, i tell myself God is trying to show me someways in which he protects me...

8.company: i'm a loner, i love to be by myself and sometimes i lock myself up in the toilet for hours reading just cos i want to be alone, i don't even mind when my sis and bro taunt me with the name 'bottom power' it doesn't matter what they think i'm doing inside there as long as i get my space...living in my house, you don't get to use keys cos they'd just walk right thru the door into ur privacy like its a transparent wall and since you are flesh and blood you aren't entitled to alone time...
not sure why i sometimes feel like i hate people around me...

yeaaaay i did it, i did get up to 8 things that are kind of weird...yippie.
so now i tag , afrobabe, ozaveshe, carlang , and em'...you.whoever u are readin

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Big broda gone bad....

i've never been a fan of Mr. Arsene Wenger, partly cos i've never been a fan of arsenal and partly cos i hate his looks, and i think he is too arrogant, although i admit his team are one hell of a team, they play and deliver good football...manchester united rocks my world tho....

okay, arsene got my special attention and applause when i read his opinion of bigbrother
"i dont watch bigbrother, it is the wrong side of modern society that people who do nothing quickly become famous with no merit other than sitting in front of the camera. i dont like that fake side, to become a great foothballer, you need motivation, dedication, talent...and yet just being in front of camera makes you considered successful"

i agree its entertaining,but common...seriously? getting fame for sleeping, drinking, showering, cooking and commiting adultery in full view of the world, digging nose, scraching and playing with crouches e.t.c
BB Afica ended today, with Richard emerging as winner, i never sat down to watch the show to know enough of who's who and stuff, but i couldnt remain oblivious to the whole richard/tatiana drama, the dude was married and he just went on with it, how irresponsible, but Africa of course loved it, and so he emerged winner...or what of the episode where he kept carressing ofuneka while she was sleeping(this is hearsay, is it true?), now isnt that supposed to be regarded as rape(in a subtle way)...there was another guy who left a pregnant girlfriend outside and kept declaring love to someone else in the house...where are morals here?
Africans spent money voting for an adulterer to win....

personally i think the show should be scraped,(do i sound prude?) we should focus our mind on more productive reality shows...the apprentice, american idols,west african idols, so you think you can dance, fame academy, american/britains next top model, or the other show heidi klum presents..uhm...i forget the name, something on designing....all this work at exploring talents and bringing out the best in people, pushing them to achieve and strive to be the best at what they can do...

whatever, bigbrother is over...sigh of relief...the world can go on, more men can dare to cheat openingly, and lots more can dream and strive to get into the next edition of bigbrother so they can achieve cheap fame, get laid and maybe get the tantalising cash price)...the channels can finally tune to cnn/sky, people can finally blink and watch news from around the world and get a good nights reas without fear that they might miss the soft porn of some housemates carressing and kissing and almost sexing, or miss seeing some naked bodies as baths are taken in the house...

tomorrow is monday, and that sucks...ewww...
got my hair did yesterday and it feels sinfully nice.
have a great week y'all!

Monday, November 5, 2007

angels of my life...

how could anyone not like babies?(ozaveshe) they are the epitome life, they give meaning to new beginnings, to innocence and pure joy, a breath of fresh air to life that has grown sour and croaky from the trials of the world.
we take care of them, watch that they dont fall or put stuff in their mouth, clean em' up when they mess themselves up, put them to sleep and teach them new things and help guide them when they take their first steps...thats what the world should be about, helping each other when we are at a point of helplessness and basically just looking out for each other.
they are simply adorable, even the simple and not so pleasant act of changing diapers could be..well..smelly but simply unpleasantly pleasant, the way they look at you and smile while you do they dirty job for them.

i've cleaned fevered heads, rubbed teething powders, cried at their first day in school(even more than them, thats if they cried at all), done a chicken dance at their first steps...smiled when people complimented me on 'my kids' and asked how i kept my figure after the two...lol, i am their surrogate mother, sometimes i feel i actually carried em' in me :)

my nieces, the reason for my seasons of 'bright and sunny' days, they are babies after my own heart,God's apology for taking dad away, although they've grown a bit beyond the diaper changing phase(thank God),5 and 3 yrs they are still at a place of innocence which is so enchanting, from their curiosity and laughter and joy at discovering new things, the unanswerable questions of 'why do you love me so much" when i hug for more than a minute and keep kissing em',with em' laughter is a daily dose of vitamin, constant and flowing. when i cry, they come around me and like grown ups, hold me and tap my back, or like steph did once, pulled her socks so she could clean my tears with it when she couldn't find an alternative. or gaby who would creep into bed with me when i have a cramp and her three year old self would hold me and kiss my tummy like i kiss her hurt spots, just so i can feel better...

i love being with them, just driving around while they go crazy over songs on the radio 'who's the koko' or 'why me o"(i know PG tunes)...or 'african queen" and crack up when they say '2 eyes' in their attempt at stand up comedy...their idea of a joke is calling 2face 2eyes...or marvin gayes 'uhh baby'; come to think of it do they know any nursery rhymes?..lol'
once,i was driving while we sang along and danced to pussycat dolls 'dont cha' when steph and i had this conversation:
steph: baby aunty FQ(yeap, they call me their baby)
baby aunty FQ: yes swee
steph: whos your husband?(shes told me lots of uncles are good uncles cos they've tried to lure their way into my heart thru them)
baby aunty FQ: i dont have a husband(thinking it was over i screamed 'dont cha' at her...the part in the song where we all get hyper active)
steph: why?(she wasnt through with me apparently)
baby aunty FQ: cos i cant find one i like.
steph: should i look for one for you?(her face looked so serious)
baby aunty FQ: sure darling
after a moment of silence from her
steph: is it a lighter one or a darker one? i almost crashed into the car in front of me...(see me see trouble, my four year old niece is trying to find me a husband, how pathetic, but then i shouldnt be scared cos the babies love fine bobos, the way they flock around cute dudes that show up in the house, i'm covered in the cute department if they go a-hunting for me)
baby auntyFQ: eh?...(trying to be sure i heard well. i sure did cos she repeated same question)i thought about it for a while, then i heard her lil' sis gaby who was two at the time giggling behind and asking if my husband would kiss me(kids..sigh)but i didnt get to answer her question tho...come to think of it i dont think i know if i want a lighter one or a darker one.
...just as i turned into the mall i realised what a mistake i had made cos my steph and gaby like children do, might just stop a cute stranger standing with his wife/girlfriend and embarass me. thankGod for little mercies they were more interested in getting pizza than my lack of a kissing patner.

they are my best friends..hell i wake up early in the morning so i can watch episodes of balamory, big cook, little cook,teletubbies and their favorite programs (and embarrassingly mine too). i fight with them, struggle for ice cream and oreos with em, play pretend(afterall thats what i like)...
they are my fashion consultants, when i'm parading in different outfits trying to figure out what fits best...they just say "wear the blue dress" and without thinkking twice, i wear the blue one" or when they give compliments like 'u look like chewing gum...strawberry..purple chocolate(they identify some things with colour)'..i know i look absolutely gorgeous

they are beauties and love to be in pictures, stephy loves james blunts "u're beautiful" and she'd walk into a room,stare in the mirror, half of my lipgloss poured on her lips and that of her sisters, eye shadows and blushes patched all over their faces singing "i'm beautiful..."

they moved temporarily to london this year, i was heart broken ...they cried some days before they left(and got in the groove of the trip later), somehow they understood it wasnt the usual holiday trip,new schools and all,so we said i love you's and i'll miss you's and i promised them i'll call them everyday, but steph replies in a near hysterical voice "but how can i know what you're wearing?" now that tore me up cos i realized speaking with them everyday can never make up for holding and kissing them... so each time i call i always have to say what i'm wearing and they try their best to describe what they wear "my pink dress with little daisies and a pony and..."all the details...and i cant just say "i'm in my pink nighty" cos they ask "is it the one with twinkle twinkle little stars? is your hair long today, is it touching your bumbum?'(i love long braids sometimes)...bla bla bla

they're coming home on the 8th of december. i'm doing a countdown, cant wait to have them creep bug baby aunty FQ.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

mr. dele


i wasn't a lover of school, although i cried and bugged before mum let her baby start,i learnt to dread it after the initial trip cleared,but learnt to make the most of it after being dragged there. i guess this is the point where i'm supposed to say i always came first...well, i no lie o, i never came first, but i always stuck with the top ten(true!). English/verbal attitude and literature were my faves, i was always the first to finish books at reading classes, the likes of 'eze goes to school'(saw 'no supper for eze' 2 weeks ago at numetro and i went all jolly, bought a copy for keepsake..lol), the girl who laughed etc. i remember mom would come home with a carton of story books just for me, i'd be in 9th heaven and float away instantly forgetting about sands/tenten/suwe etc and bury my nose in all those enid blytons and grimms fairy tales books(uh, no Wonder i love fantasy so, mom...i'm reporting u to oprah, and she'll feature us in a 'my mom turned me into a fantasy queen' show, i'll say how i missed out on my childhood, thats why like Michael, i hope to build my own Netherlands and bring all the lil' girls to play... and we'd cry and she'll apologise for buying me all those books)...ok, this is serious digression
i was never made a class prefect in primary school, i was too shy and sweet to control a crowd and write 'names of noise makers', those bullies would have finished me after school

ok, what got me gisting about primary school...yeah, i remember. Mr. Dele. He was my classs teacher in primary 3/4(i forget). He always smelt of cigarettes, and he was so uglyyyyyy, we even gave him a nickname(as teeny tiny as we were), we called him 'caricature' behind his back, not like we knew the meaning but it sounded like a name for an ugly person and we would crack up whenever we called him that.
as i said i wasn't a class monitor, but i was put in charge of the books cos of my love for books.i loved the job cos we had all this story books i could sneak home to read and return without the long signing process. it was my job to go to the store room at the start of each day to get books out and take em' back when we were through, the room was large but a little bit dark.
i'm in there one day and mr. Dele walks in, smelling of cigarettes as usual, and his 'caricature' face smiling, then he said
"FQ, when would i enjoy you?"....

my poor innocent mind(mtv had not corrupted me then like these days when even babies are bringing sexy back)

"on my birthday" i replied in a tiny voice(i was thinking sweets, cakes and ice cream)
"when is your birthday" he asked inching closer
"july 6th" i said
"that's too far now" he grumbled still inching closer, just then some other students walked in and i picked my books up and walked out, not knowing what it was about, but i remember that i felt relieved to be out of there.
somehow that scene never left my head, in uni i gisted a couple of friends, we had a good laugh and i even had to live with the mocking of 'FQ when would i enjoy u' in their own version of mr dele's voice...the mocking and laughter came after i analysed the situation...
what if people didnt walk in when they did?
what if he touched me or tried something more?
how many others did he corner and try to 'enjoy'?(i definitely wasn't the cutest lil' thing in my school)
did he actually molest anyone?
i'm thankful today that the story is different, but are there other lil' girls out there in our naija schools being molested and feeling too scared to talk?...i know i wouldn't have said anything if he actually tried something, i have a habit of keeping things inside me till they eat me up...
that's the story of Mr. Dele...wonder if he's still alive...fool like him. that event has somehow managed to keep replaying in my head all this years.
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