who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Sunday, December 30, 2007

hi y'all! accchoooooo....choooo...achooooo! i have a terrible cold and frustrating sneeze...it always happens at this paticular time of the year, i thought i had escaped it this time only to wake up yesterday morning with a fever and blocked nose, now i'm wallowing in self pity.
its the end of the year...well it would be in less than fourtyeight hours....hope i did the calculations right.
its been a whirl wind of a year, the good, the bad and the ugly intertwined, but all that matters is that we made it, we overcame every obstacles and that proves that we definately are bigger than out problems and obstacles.

in 2007, i took a hold of my life, although the grip wasnt too strong but it was enough to put me back on track, i dusted the dirts of my shoulder, well a bit of it and i hope to dust off more by the new year.
we got to win the election, and it was definately a case of 'may the best man win', despite all the talks of riggin, i think the best man really did win in this case and work definately is in progress...no, this doesnt refer to our dear president.

in 2007, i left dark and scary behind and became a big girl filled with sunshine, it dont matter that i'm still the lil' girl whos scared of committement, i'll leave that to 2008 to tackle....

basically,Gods been good...even the cold cant stop me from being thankful. having an end of year bbq tomorow and imma rock that show, looking forward to it, social occassions with the family is something to look forward to, its always inventful..

hope everyone had a blast this year, and hope y'all have all the best in the coming year, may all our past dissappiontments turn into blessings in the coming year. accchoooooooo. Remain blessed!

Monday, December 17, 2007

lifes good......

gosh, i've been having a jolly good time, my nieces are home, my sisters too. we're all back home with mom, i'm so loving the time we're spending together. haven't checked my mails in ages or blogged anywhere in ages, kind of a detox from it all....lifes good innit?.

is it me or did this year just pass by so fast?(okay, i know everyones been saying it so it's obviously not me) its like an express train which just goes non stop to the end. i can still remember exactly what i was doing on this day last year, thats because it just feels like yesterday. i love this time of the year, the Christmas carols, the anticipation of christmas day and all the goodness it holds.its really fun, laying all the colours and seeing the tree transform from an old fig to a colorful and bright beauty....
what do i want for xmas? the list is endless, and i enjoy writing them cos somehow i just feel that by putting my wishes down on paper no matter how impossible they seem, theres always a chance that it may come true, and its always exciting to see at least one thing ticked off as achieved. i've gotten the laptop, the wristwatch, still no iphone, fingers crossed on that...

what good have i achieved this year?... i dunno, but it hasnt ended yet, i've still got about three weeks to go, maybe something extra ordinarily pleasant will happen. last year i know i messed up a lot, things better left forgotten but still hanging somewhere in the surface. my birthday was on the 6th of july, but i didnt do anything extra special to mark it because i didnt feel extra special.i was still in the deep end of being scary and damaged, but this year,i had a blast on my bday and most of the year. hopefully i'm approaching sunny and bright days... wish me luck!

 
i'm loving my time away from work, gosh, moms making me feel good again, i'm back to being her 24hr jeans wearing baby...except i fight for her attention with my nieces.i love the weather....its so christmases...cold and dry and dusty, thats the north for you, the harmatan just rocks my world, i sleep with no a/c or fan and my butt just freezes off...life definitely is good.
hope y'all having as much fun this season...

Saturday, December 8, 2007

waiting.....

someone posted this picture on my facebook page...it was funny at a glance, then i noticed who the sender was, then i became livid and almost sent a hate mail to him, then i saw the humor in it, then i laughed again, and forwarded to a few friends.
i was mad, cos the sender was my first serious crush(haven't ever really fallen in love) till i decided i couldn't and wouldn't date him and i walked away....like i always do, it killed me but i did it, now he's married, with two lovely kids(its annoying to know he could finally stop calling to plead and he could move on, even find a soul mate in someone else) and tres painful to see wifey in most mags i pick up
twas just that feeling that maybe he was trying to tell me to get a life, cos i'll never find that 100% perfect man, thus would keep sending the near perfect away(like him)....
we're cool like that now tho, i don't regret that much and i guess he still does, but hey, we move on.



thats me on the wheel chair, the one the ray of light shines on...uhmmmm, maybe theres still hope....LOL.

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Looking past the anatomys in Greys Anatomy


(used this old pics cos i couldnt imagine using one without dr. burke)

i'm such a fan of greys anatomy, i'm like addicted to it and enthralled with all the drama that takes place in seattle grace hospital. i've got the dvds that i just keep watching over and over again. , since we are still behind in Nigeria, like in the 3rd season(how screwed is that)and i just cant imagine myself waiting to watch what is already being aired.
i kind of relate with meredith, her fear of commitment, her struggles and the whole dark and gloomy existence...well to an extent, i'm not as screwed up as she is(i hope)

But it's sort of not all about the McSteamys and the McDreamys(who by the way are absolutely hot, steamy and dreamy)... my interest goes deeper than that, cos every episode gives me food for thought on certain issues room for reasonable thinking way past the hormones the hotties rise in our bodies. heres a voice over of meredith..

"the early bird catches the worm; a stitch in time saves nine. He who hesistates is lost. We can't pretend we havent been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard our granparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to 'seize the day'. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep todays possibilities under tomorrows rug untill we can't anymore, untill we finally undersstand for ourselves like Benjamin Franklin meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping. And that even the biggest failure, even the worst most intractable mistakes beats the hell out of never trying"


i keep reflecting on that and somehow by doing that i've been able to take the necessary steps to start doing things i always had doubts about cos like meredith says" knowing is better than wondering" and "we have to make our own mistakes." i've realized that i just can't keep hiding in this cosy cocoon i created for myself cos that way i never get to take risk and so i just remain stuck at the place where i am forever. i wouldn't want to stay on the other side of the road, waiting cos i'm scared i'd get hit by a car and so at the end of the day i'll bite my nails and wonder what could have been if i actually crossed over.... i can never get a six if i don't throw the dice.... so i'm letting myself go completely(well gradually) and i'm going to let myself take all the risk i can...i'll risk selling my ideas, i'll risk speaking out, and hell yeah i'll risk falling in love.....


NB...is it me or is greys anatomy loosing IT,it just doesnt seem to have as much appeal this season,with burke(isiah washington) gone and all, i mean i can afford not to download episodes on itunes for weeks after its aired, which was so not possibly sane for the previous seasons.... hope it picks up its vibes again, or else i'd be McBroken!!
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