who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

feliz navidad!!!!

happy holidays y'all!
i love Christmas....
i always miss out on all the Christmas parties in Lagos this season..
i had a blast in abuja.....
i'm home in makurdi for Christmas
every street corner is familiar with a memory linked to it.
childhood friends and family friends are in town,
its fun Playing with the boys and making the girls cry like i do every Christmas(i joke),
but this is when hating is at its best and you can actually laugh in the face of haters
I'm sleeping in bed with mummy...cosy cosy cosy!
the harmattans on, its dry and cold and dusty and just so beautiful,the weather says everything Christmas to me....
we didn't bring out the Christmas tree this year, the living room looks drab without it,instead there's a clutter of wii pieces everywhere as my sis and i justle about in the name of playing the game.my nieces aren't home to make decorating the tree a fun job, the house is drab with just a few of us home
i haven't played christmas carols like i should, i haven't played them at all.
we're busy seating together as a family and 'gisting' about everything that's happened this year.
making expensive international calls and staying on forever trying to make the others feel like they really are missing and we're having fun without them
then we goof around
then we eat like gluttons, cookies, cakes, fried goat, peppered chicken, coke, coke, coke, and pounded yam in its originality etc .....
then we take the 40min drive to go visit grandma, and eat some more, her world famous soups(yes they really are a treat, and people just keep going back to hers).....
i've got a long long list for santa baby, but i know there are loads of people with a long long list too,
so imma wait till after christmas when santa baby is a bit rested, then he'll have time to savor the feel of me on his laps and listen attentively as i whisper my needs one by one.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE and have a blessed one.
don't forget the reason for the season....
and lets all be jolly.
'tis a season to be jolly.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

gimme dat 'ol time entertainment.

i grew up watching videos of sound of music, and first editions of Pinocchio, Alice in wonderland, the lion, the witch and the wardrobe, Oliver twist, Annie, chity chity bang bang et co. I would frustrate my siblings with my constant cry and whining to watch sound of music again and again especially when they wanted to watch more grown up movies or motown music videos(before the days of cables)
the day we discovered sherly temple.....OMG, no one really minded the number of times we watched bright eyes and everything with the cute little curly hair angel in it. i would cry, more like wail and wonder 'why did her parents die' or some sorry question, and then i would laugh with tears in my eyes at her singing and wit, much bigger than a girl of her age. she was my joy pill
i've been over myself looking for sherly temple dvds, i would do anything and then some to get them, so hook a sister up:).

these past year, i've been going back to the oldies for some substance in what i listen to and watch, have you noticed how tv shows these days are so messed up? i can barely stand gossip girl or myself for daring to love chuck bass:) but gosh, its irritating to hear crazy grown women in Lagos uuuh and ahhh over it, and laughingly say 'that's our life they're living' and actually try to figure out who's Serena, whos chuck, or who's Nate....and the teenagers want to act that way cos well, well gossip girl is about teenagers, the oc too, one tree hill....all tales of sex that see sex as normal with teenagers, thus the people in the real world want to live that way. don't get me wrong, they're quite interesting shows but for now I'm holding tight to family ties, Cosby show, little house on the prairie, Casablanca, grease, wizard of oz.....
and I'm addicted to old time radio comedy shows, hilarious, i go back to the 40's and lifes good. i've got hundreds of them on my ipod, i look forward to shows like 'my friend Irma, the Aldrich family, Archie, father knows best and the talk shows..
my favorite playlist on my ipods all frank Sinatra, muddy waters, ray Charles, Nina Simone, nat 'king' Cole, Sam Cooke, Gladys knight and the pips.....
of course i'm not completely off the newbies, but for now i'm in rehab to get myself together after the whole shocker of the modern day entertainment

these are some clips from bright eyes, one of my favorite scenes. enjoy




Friday, December 12, 2008

Brother o' brother, i love thee to death.

There's no other love like the love for a brother. There's no other love like the love from a brother. ~ Astrid Alauda

right now, at this moment, i love my brother more than i have ever felt love for a person. i love him so so much my heart breaks in pieces at the thought of harm coming his way.
my brother, i've always looked up to him in awe, though three years separate us, and although i was his growing pain, following him where ever he went, the little sister who just wouldn't chill out, i've always seen myself as his big little sister, i've always felt the need to take care of him and protect him as much as i can,i've fallen physically sick with worry on certain nights when i stayed awake waiting for him to come home, or moments i knew he was going through bad times and i could do nothing to help.

hes the only son, and thus enjoys this lavish attention from everyone, but is he spoilt by it? no, hes such a grounded young man who i adore, my prince charming, the only man i have ever wholesomely loved with no reservation despite the fact that he belongs to the lesser sex:)
it don't matter that he beat me in monopoly games and taunted me with his victory till i screamed in my head, or that he made me cry sometimes and told me scary stories...oh, how i always wanted to strangle him those moments he made me jolt from sleep in my young innocence with some false panic alarm by screaming FIRE FIRE FIRE, but i easily forgave him, because the sound of his laughter in mock of my fear was strangely soothing and loving even through my tears....or the times he threatened to tell on me for being naughty and doing things i was asked not to, but he never told on me, just loved to torture me with the threats. he was just a boy, better than i would have been if i was in his position.
He in turn has always fought for me, protected me from the over-protectiveness of my sisters, like some night i wanted to go hang out with my friends...bla bla bla. He had my back, he has my back and will always have it.

i looked forward to a happy holiday with him home, thats not happening, hes staying back in the uk.
its past my bed time and it'll be hell waking up at 5.30am to prep for work tomorrow, but i couldn't resist drooling all over his pictures, and here i am crying and wishing he would come home for Christmas.

i love you dear brother of mine and i'm extremely proud of you boo, the best years of your life is racing towards you, brace yourself.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Happy thanksgiving!...

THANKSGIVING……..
I thought to do a thanksgiving post that really means something to me, not because I got tagged to do the 7 things to be thankful post like last year, but because I realize how lucky I am although I fail to recognise that fact sometimes. It doesn’t matter that most times i claim to be satisfied and happy, then i discover more wants and needs and thus feel like I’m sad and empty…..theres always a bunch of stuff to be thankful for….and I’ve got everything to be thankful for all year round every minute. Of course there’s no stuffed turkey and overflowing table, but then we nigerians know how to celebrate thanksgiving all year round, its either this aunty is doing a thanksgiving or that uncle or that friend, and we all dress our best, go to church, then go home, eat, drink and dance to stupor…..

Heres to thanksgiving….and although there are a millon things to be thankful for, theres still a zillion I couldn’t remember, my 101 things to be thankful for

1. That God exists.
2. my mom, my source of inspiration
3. my sisters cos they’re my sisters,they’re the best
4. my nieces
5. my brother, for who he is. My personal prince charming
6. my family, because as much as we’ve a dramatic crew, theres always the love that binds.
7. For blogville. Blogger.com is a home away from home, a place where virtual friends lurk as we click away our words, and there we are, maybe having coffee at starbucks, or in the tube, or at work or the mall, we’re always just a click away from knowing someone across the atlantic knows what you’re going through and knows the right word to sooth a situation
8. Second chances, for healing and restoration
9. Pilates

10. Cell phones
11. Cameras
12. Wii
13. Blackberry….yes pinging away all day long
14. my ipod
15. ray charles, Sinatra, muddy waters, nina simone…..old school music, cos they define the real essence of music, they are the soul of beats and rhythms, and soul massage.

16. notebooks, plain and empty, waiting for me to scribble words down
17. the internet…well cos it’s the internet
18. oreos
19. ice cream
20. Opportunities and the will to grab them.
21. Deola sagoe
22. Joe at strands and Mabel at touch of glamour for those wonderful hair days and Turayo.
23. the sound of my nieces playing and just being sisters
24. Handbags…it doesn’t matter if I have them or not, I just love to view them
25. cold rainy days ,staying home, a hot drink and a good book
26. laughter and the fact that i can laugh at myself
27. carrie bradshaw…. For the wonderful life of sex and the city
28. shoes
29. prayers, those moments spent in prayers

30. yahooza chicken and massa in abuja….
31. fura de nunu
32. chocolates
33. cerealac….
34. yellow chilli
35. Spas and the days spent there….
36. Those hideous drama series that i cant help but love/watch cos I get a chance to be self righteous for a reason…gossip girl…ewww,
37. Sherly temple movies
38. Freshly laundered towels
39. Theatre @ tera kulture…
40. Fudge cake
41. Moments when everything seems so clear in my head and breathing in and out is so easy
42. Days I forget the pain of hypermobilty like today and yesterday
43. Ice cold coke on a hot hot day
44. Tesco coconut cake
45. Lip gloss
46. Christmas and the giddy joy I inevitably feel just because of all it brings family, food, drinks, gifts warmth laughter and love….perfecto
47. Andrea borceli
48. generators, lets face it, thats mans greatest invention especially if you leave in nigeria
49. movies…from the cheesy musicals to the gangsta speaking
50. poetry reading

51. those moments when I try to write some ryhmes and it comes out stupid and I know it doesn’t mean I’m bad at writing poetry, I just don’t know how to put the words down right sometimes:) talk about denial. lol
52. Winnie the pool, that sweet honey sucking bear has taught me lots of lessons despite its dimwit self…
53. maya angelou
54. for the ability to be tolerant…I haven’t broken a windscreen in anger….yet.
55. when my niece gaby calls me baby aunty joy
56. or her sister Steph’s wannabe big girl attitude and her questions as frustrating as they be
57. road trips that are fun trips and not too long :)
58. Pancakes
59. Tyler Perry

60. those days in lagos when traffic is light, you can actually feel the breeze on your face when the windows down and your driving
61. I cant see into the future as badly as I want to and the fact that I know i wouldnt know till the future is my present its a blessing in disguise
62. Books….
63. Confession of a Shopaholic series, as embarrassingly chiclit as it be, I’ve learned a lot from Becky Bloomwood on savinging which is basicly nothing, but she makes me feel better about myself.
64. Jeans
65. days that were good at work….like before the market plunge
66. daydreams, my ticket away from the chaos around me without actually loosing myself
67. La senza
68. For friends…those who genuinely are, those I met this year that’ve been wonderful, and even those who aren’t so genuine
69. For a breakthrough, no matter how little it maybe, in my quest for self discovery

70. That I’m not every woman
71. For the mistakes I’ve made for they’ve taught me the greatest lessons
72. For safe trips all the times I went off on a journey somewhere.
73. For family..did I mention that ?
74. Friendly smiles.
75. For flowers, I may not be the nature freak, but everytime I receive flowers it makes me feel special and loved and……..
76. For those old time drama series, cos they’re just about something….cosby show, little house on the praire. Look what I’ve got now…gossip girl
77. That the world can move on despite the diasters of the year
78. That Obama’s finally won and now loads of people would be able to prep ourselves with just thoughts of look what he did for himself and the world can shut up already with talks of him...he really isnt that sleek,
79. That I’ve got the comforts of life, life at its nearest perfection and I’ve been able to remember that others would die to have mine those moments when I wish to have someone else’s.

80. For facebook, a place to explore when seating in one of those waiting rooms, or waiting for your labs or ….working.
81. Books on quotes
82. Sunday mornings when I actually meet the praise and worship sessions in church.
83. For discovery, things I’ve been able to teach myself
84. Enid blyton and the grimms fairy tales…for they’re the platform that I climb in my bid to runaway to childhood. Now whats there this days? Instead of fairies and gnomes theres harry potter and witches.
85. For the days when I call myself stupid and still feel great about me
86. For Bumight, cos she was mad i didnt thank her on my facebook note and because i'm really thankful i'll finally get to meet my cousin this christmas.
87. for my job, i know how helpless i feel sometimes when i'm off work, although i crave for those moments
88. for wii...oh right i've mentioned it before, well i'm thankfu for american idols and godfather on wii
89. jill scott

90. heaven
91. the beach
92. holidays
93. christmas trees, cos as the lights come on, so do the dark shadows in my life seem to come alive
94. church, church, church, and the chance to fellowship
95.
96.
97.
98.
99. I ‘m thankful for being me, who I am and no one else, because I’m the best person that can be me and no one else
100. for life
101. for the chance to be thankful….

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

eko elle

was having a conversation with a friend of mine struggling to make a decision about moving back to lagos or staying put in the states. like him i used to hate lagos years back, but now, i'm a changed apostle. I LOVE THIS TOWN. i might not be the social butterfly, not making friends and all but i love lagos.
decided to repost an edited version of some reasons to love eko elle i wrote a while ago.

lagos...a city of possibilities, where little men too can become big, where hard work and relentlessness pays off, where hustling has a nice ring to it, where little children dare to dream and realise their dreams, where westernization comes to life in the midst of the rich representation of africanism....well, simply put, where everything is possible...sort of...em... whatever but lagos is one city that dazzles and puzzles me, gives me thrills inspite of its frightful nature, you just can't hate but love to hate love it, i constantly have this love hate relationship with it.

the traffic is frustrating, but hey, sometimes you can't help to just love it, especially on those days where you're surrounded by those handsome cute dudes on all corners in the flashiest cars ever and you can't help but look up to the heavens and bless God for his creations... but then again, the hot days which just seems to grow hotter the more you turn up your ac, then to top it off, those area touts try to scare you and rob you of your favorite gadgets by hitting on your window hard and threatening to unlease hell on you if you don't comply(by the way, when did this touts start finding their way to the island?)and of course u have to comply cos u're stuck in a stagnant traffic situation.

the unpredictability of rains that just pours on your plans for the day and although it cools the weather, you're still stuck in a standstill trafick. urgggh.

I like to compare lagos to newyork city and i wouldnt be wrong to do that....lagos has got a blend of everything newyork from commerce, finance, weirdism, to culture and entertainment filled to the brim of extremity. i love it. the mainland is my brooklyn and the the island my manhattan. and like most newyorkers would rather die than move from brooklyn to manhattan so would lagosians rather die than move from the island to the mainland or vice versa.

the night life is so craziliciously fun, theres nights out in lacasa/number 10/auto lounge, where the mix of nose in air sorts and honey glazed spoilt richyrichy live in their illusion of have it all perfection....left to me, i think its highly overrated, people just go there to be seen, buying drinks at the most outrageous prizes in the whole of lagos, and then we all drown in the sights of fendis and guccis and louis vuitton floating around, my best moments there is trying to figure out whos' with a fake, whos really honey glazed and whos just a wannabe, whose purse would have a heavy setback for the rest of the month after the showy night out in la casa/number 10(bcos you've just got to be seen there) and whos won't even bulge...you've just got to love the craziness...and oh...not to be hypocritical, some of those honey glazed silver spoon daddys assets on my forehead fellas actually do look appealing and maybe even know how to light my fire:). then theres bacchus/caliente which i'm not too enthusiatic about because i'm not a crazy club hopper,picolomondo's cool too, bungalow. Soul lounges got its appeal, although its a little lost on me now,churrasco the brazillian resturant/bar just gives you the thrills always and the electro music rocks too,boat clubs also cool especially on those days where the water is calm and you just loose yourself in the sight, the boat rides in those luxury boats are crazy..., newscafe...well thats sort of like a viewing ground for me, don't pass any comment, i'm a sociologist(well in name)and my job is partly to observe/study people, and so i sit in newscafe, solo, cup of hot chocolate and just stare at the troop people and marvel at how some members of my species could be so shameless and obvious, i fly solo, not enough to make me look desperate or enough to welcome any unwanted guest, just a girl seating out alone with her drink....
posh cafe's sort of cool, fabolous ethnic meals at yellow chillis and jevenik, good thai food at reeds on awolowo road, classy dining at sky resturant eko hotel, good enough chinese at pearl gardens, marcopolo and errrr......you get the point, theres good food.

Theres the wonderful events, the muson and terra culture keep you culturally entertained, taruwa and anthill, naija's own def poetry jam happens here in lasgidi, fashion shows that blow my mind....theres just so many places/things to do to unwind in lagos the list goes on of the hangouts and events but all in all you always have a good time in lagos, it caters for the rich, middle class and poor, to have fun to the limits of their status. how could i forget the music, lagos is home to the music revolution happening in the country, they may be from all over nigeria but they're here, right here in lagos, you've just got to love the music. lagos, a city viewed by some as a wonderland, you go back to anywhere in the world with a nigerian community and say"i'm just back from lagos" and everyone looks up to you like you're from the centre of civilization and you hold all the answers to the newest trends back home, the melting pot of everything nigerian, trend setter of the nation:)...it ought to be so, with the talented designers springing fort everyday, from tiffany amber, deola sagoe,lanre da silva, jewel by lisa, bespoke, to mya to zelua... you just go on and on naming them...

And the scandals, i love the scandals, the gossips from the soft selling gossip magazines which no one admits to buying but sells out every single week of publication(just checking out to see if your name entered the big girl catergory or if the bribe you offered was enough to get your new car mentioned,don't you just love city people as much as its pretty annoying) the social events, the much anticipated polo tournaments, which is more of a fashion event than an energizing sports event, the award shows....aw...don't you just love the city of relentless possibilities...everyone wants to have fun in lagos and everyone gets fun in lagos. can't remember why i'm ranting about all this....oh yes, i was trying to convince a friend how not so bad it is, and well maybe myself too....somehow i'm begining to want a little bit more of abuja.ciaociao

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

old fashioned mommy!!

I love my mom cos she’s the most unassuming person in the world. Here I am trying to write something about mom, I’ve got my mushy mushy love song playlist on itunes ‘I honestly love you ‘ by Oliver newton john is playing now, but rather than think of some dream man singing the blues to me I’m thinking about this woman, whose love has been strung together and worn like strands and strands of pearls and diamonds around the whole essence of me.

My mom is your ‘fashionable old fashioned’ mother who isn’t so new school (I must not be misunderstood here). I define old fashioned in terms of the little things she wouldn’t bother herself with like the internet, her friends exchange email addys and she shamelessly says ‘I don’t have one’ she’s got one though, one she’s never signed in to. What’s the point anyways? She’s always got some child to do the dirty work of the internet for her. How fortunate she is, never to get addicted to stuff like facebook and Google and Gucci sites, instead she’ll relax in bed after a long day with magazines and books we recommend and she’s happy to discuss them with us if we want, and how excited she gets when we want to talk about the books of back in the day i.e those by wole soyinka and chinue achebe….

Momma doesn’t care for sending text messages, she loves to read them, and don’t see it as rude when she doesn’t reply, she just can’t be bothered with sending a tedious text when she’s not even bothered with emails, she would rather call which suites me better, cos the sound of her voice everyday is like an embrace in the warmth of her which is pure translates to pure bliss.(she was forced to start replying sms recently though)
The woman loves to shop, and the best thing about her is her unassuming nature, she wouldn’t settle for less of what she sees as best. She knows good quality over brand names. So although she wouldn’t dish out names of designers when it comes to bags, she holds the best of them ignorantly and when i point out a name, she looks on lost and says ‘don’t know, bought it the other day from so and so’.  how many people shop that way these days, purely because they like an item and not because it’s a designer and they’ve just got to be seen holding it? She shops for the design and quality, not fad…. Don’t get me wrong, she knows her jewelries well,and perfumes and her creams, but the bags and shoes names are the little things she wouldn’t sweat about, as long as they're of the best quality.

She’s my mother the one who’s always believed in giving us the best of things, not because she wants to show off, but cos she genuinely believes we need the best of everything she can give or why else would she plough the earth so hard?(that statement is to point out how hard working she is) Thus I’ve owned things beyond my age, and she’s happy, not because people would point and talk, but because its what she can give me.
I love my mommy who’s old fashioned in most things modern except love…

Friday, November 7, 2008

*****************************
and then there's the uzoma okere's story, i first heard about her from the office driver on one of our unauthorized parol, i assumed it was the normal, 'them say, he say' untill i saw the video.
God help us in nigeria.
i know if it was me...all hell would be loose and those souls will be screaming in there by now.
hopefully the law will stand supreme in this case despite the rank of this so called animal whose convoy was allegedly disrupted.
Lagos state governor fashola has promised to foot the legal fees of the victim.
click on ireport to watch the footage, not clear enough or long enough but it certainly shows enough.
guardian , punch to read some more.

if it was a guy, then as inexcusable as it is to beat a human cos he wouldn't clear the way for you i'd understand. but to beat a girl up like she was some piece of rag and even have her clothes off...thats inhumane. especially from naval officers. i remember how i always imagined they were the gentliest of all the uniforms.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

is saying No wrong?

when is it okay to say NO?
is it ever okay to say NO?
why is it so hard to say NO?
humans are so complex i get so tired of trying to fit into the system of constantly displeasing myself so i could make others happy just by saying YES so i can avoid saying NO and getting the disappointed look.
truth is i hate to share.
yes that black dress looks so gorgeous on me, that's why i bought it in the first place, so let it remain where it's supposed to be, on my body and in my wardrobe, don't try to borrow it off me.
or the white top with frills and laces
or jewelry
or perfume...
no i'm not selfish.
but if we're going to move in the same circle then don't wear my things and i'll stay off yours,
its different if we both have same outfits
hell no, i hate it when we go out together and we've all got the same scent just because...well obviously we've all used the same perfume.
but of course i cant say 'no, don't use it', or 'no i cant give you' cause i'll be seen as mean and selfish and ...

back to what brought me to talks of no.
a friend called me today, she needed a loan. i so wanted to help her cause shes my friend, i would have been willing to give her half the amount or in full and write off the loan
but right now, i have a lot of commitments on ground added to the expenditures of the past month, its wearing me out.
there's the pledge i made, that cant be left hanging.
i just came back from a staggering holiday which set me back.
theres the spa membership with venivici
i made a pledge i haven't redeemed to a charity org
and a bulk of my liquidity was pushed into the stock market because prices are at their lowest and this happens to be the best time to buy, and i cant sell a portion of my stock like i usually do when i need money cos that'd be at a huge loss.
and my major account is funded but not with my personal funds, my sisters sent me some pounds to change(and dang what a loss, 198 from 226) and keep for a stuff they're trying to get for mom.
i noted the disappointment at me in her voice, although i didn't say no out rightly, its difficult saying no, i just kept listing my commitments,
it felt like she felt i was being mean and selfish,
but i really cant.
i hate it that i'm being made to feel bad and even guilty.
i wish humans were more understanding.
i hate being said NO to,thats why i hate to ask, but when i do, i know how to accept it gracefully, i would tell the person who cant assist me 'its okay, i understand' even if its not okay with me.

***********************************************
my weekend was good. the bookclub meeting was alright and the reading with Ekene Onu was a delight, shes such a likable lady and her book 'the mrs club' is such a bite of fudge cake smeared with vanilla ice cream...okay not that orgasmic, not even near there, its just a book that's fun to read, well not really fun, just a readable book. its about three Nigerian ladies in Atl sexy and scandalous titi, sweet and smart amaka and sharp and savvy minna. most girls would find a little bit of themselves in those ladies.

mr E's house party was good, for the twenty minutes i dropped in there i had fun. left just before majority of the guest began to arrive. i couldn't be tempted to stay back,rushed home to shower and dress for my dinner. opted out of wearing a dress.
used my deola sagoe high waisted pants and a black oxygen top, green heels and sliver accesories. We went to auto lounge after the marcopolo dinner. Fun fun fun, and one of my ages past crush got drunk and tried hitting on me....(gross, where were u when i daydreamed of me and you with white picket fences?)

Thursday, October 30, 2008

halloween fever, set your face to scared.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! its halloween, welcome to fright night!!!

theres loads of Halloween parties today its disgusting. my phone's ringing every minute with this invite to here and there for this 'awesome' halloween party and that other more awesome party and then there's the 'costume and karaoke party'(now that sounds tempting to drop in on)everyone's screaming and whining about costumes. i wish i was a witch so i could just shut them up. unfortunately i don't do parties, i'm not so crazy about the socialites' around, so i avoid most of this things.

you would think they're so desperate to be somebody else, like hallooween is the one time they can put on a mask to disguise their scary faces, more like make themselves look less scary...lol

miss B my friend calls from UK and exclaims that shes going as herself for a party, after we've had a very tiring discussion on what costume she should wear. i asked what herself is supposed to be and she scoffs and says 'stunning, what else? i'm gorgeous, i'm sexy, hell people try to imitate my looks sometimes"
lol, i can confirm shes mad crazy.

last years halloween party held at bacchus had this chic all dressed up as a mummy, and she so rocked the look, all wraped up in bandages and safety pins....i saw the picture and was like damnnnn it must have really meant something to her, as i wouldnt go through all that for a costume party.

come to think of it, when did nigerians(well mostly lagosians) get so tuned in on halloween?
i dont believe in the idea behind halloween. i still have that story i was told years ago that it was all about witches and ghost of the dead coming to life and bla bla bla, why would i celebrate some evil day like it was christmas? i have never celebrated halloween and of course growing up in nigeria has cancelled any form of conversion i might have encountered, especially the lure of candies from trick and treating.
(my own opinion, everyones free to have all the fun they want, cos remove my uptight attitude and it really is fun costume dressing. dang my stupid principle is making me miss out on all the fun. i have lots of ideas i would like to try besides playboy bunnies. maybe i'll have my own costume party after halloween:-))

i'll stay home, skip all the channels with frightful movies(who remembers all those really scary movies when growing up? From omen to Night of the Living Dead to fright night or the one where the little girl was drawn into the tv or the one with the black slaves and haunted houses....,urgh, they were pure torture and I had to watch cos my whole siblings were watching and I couldn't be left alone)

I'll try and finish 'to saint patrick' tonight, its the book we're meant to discuss at the bookclub meeting on saturday.

i'm wondering how i'm going to manage my time on saturday.
late breakfast/brunch @ 11am with a friend, we've grown apart this past weeks and shes trying hardest to wedge that gap thus shes paying for breakfast at cactus

bookclub at 2pm

book reading with Ekene Onu, the author of the mrs club by 4pm(thankGod its same venue with the bookclub)

birthday house party of a friend at 6pm
birthday dinner at 8.30pm of my dear dear friend at marco polo resturant

i'm wondering how i'll handle it. not looking forward to cloth hunting for the parties.
good thing i squeezed in a manicure/pedicure after work on Wednesday and i braided my hair last weekend so no salon runs for me or else I'd be more wrecked than I feel right now.

thinking of the day makes my whole body jelly weak....

y'all have a beautiful halloween celebration and weekend.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

brown eyes...for charity sake!!!

i got this in a thread from chiedo ifeozo, i'm sure lots of nigerians belong to his group on facebook. i think hes a talented fellow. i'll try to put up links to his poetry on youtube or you could search for him. i dont know him personally, but i think hes a wonderful person, for what hes trying to do for charity and his mind blowing poetry. if i was his girlfriend....i'll hold that thought, but i'll definitely never be gloomy cos the words of his poetry would drown me in its wholesomeless.

this really perked me up as i've been feeling gloomy for lots of reasons, the death of my GM and stuff. i was just opening my mail and reading this brown eyes poem when coincedentally flowers were delivered to me...(long story about the flowers that i'd rather not talk about ). i almost made myself believe he(or some imaginary guy of my dreams) wrote this specially for me and the flowers were part of the whole show of affection *dreams* i know.(i'm so desperate for soft romance i'll imagine anything)
i've got brown eyes,bonafide brown eyes. so whoever ends up being the love of my life had better write a brown eyes poem for me or better yet, i could save this and make him read it to me. lol(its not one of his best works, but its got a whole lot of mushiness i could do with)

Brown eyes
I see your sighs
Sometimes this life comes with scars
But still you shine like the stars
Close your eyes, feel the highs
Don’t be shy, touch the sky
Brown eyes I'm lost in your roundness
I'm comforted by your softness
In your eyes I feel the warmth of the sun
I feel like they've known me since the day I was born
Sometimes I feel I have no where to run
But in your eyes I feel I am right where I belongI see through your eyes as if they were mine
The future is only a matter of time
Close your eyes,Close your eyes, Feel the highs
Beautiful brown eyes

by Chiedu Ifeozo

************************************************************************
poetry for charity




we really need your help- poetry for charity.
We need to raise the awareness level for the Poetry for Charity project

as well as the link to the purchase site http://stores.lulu.com/store.php?fAcctID=2996281



We need you to pick up a copy of the Poetry for Charity collection.

We need you, but they need you even more

the students in Makoko need you,

the funds raised from this project will help to improve their school and provide much needed reading materials

the sickle cell sufferers need you,

the funds raised from this project will be used to provide medicines and financial support to them

the poor need you,

the funds raised would assist organisations in the fight against poverty

They need you to get involved,

They need you to remember them in your hearts

All they need you to do right now, is to be aware and show that you care, and be the driving force of change

all they need is your support

all they need is your voice.
i tried to do a post in my own words on this charity thing, but i was so tired. who cares that i copied and pasted. its still saying same thing.so y'all give a big big scream in support(its only about $9.00). i know you'll be sweethearts and go online to purchase the book. and if you can join the group on facebook 'thoughts on a page...a collection of poetry'
ciaociao!!!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

another sting!!!!

My holiday went perfectly well ,to an extent, well that’s if we take out the details of the attitudes i got from my sister(leaving me alone in the mall and me almost getting missing since it was my first time and her second she knew the way more than i did); add all the luxury of it. we stayed at the Marriot Harbour hotel and apartment in dubai marina(i know, not the atlantis or the burj, but next time, whatever ours was a 5star too), our three bedroom suite on the 30th floor had such a beautiful view of the marina. it was so glamorous, the resturants were out of this world, the resturant at the obsevartory on the 52nd floor with a breath taking view of dubai marina and palm jumeirah. the spa was glorious and so chic, we were treated like some hollywood stars, my sis and i made them wonder who we really were:) with all the shopping and bla bla bla I’ll save the story for another day.

I got back home, went to work on Monday, avoided my GM, I walked to his office when I was about closing for the day, I overheard him laughing , decided I wasn’t in the mood for fake smiling with the boss and walked away.
The next morning as we prepared for the EGM of the company, I heard he was dead, that’s the disadvantage of getting every news that comes before every other person, because you're freinds with the directors. Apparently he slumped in the office when he went to get some files to meet us at the lagoon for the meeting, he was rushed to reddington where he died.

I had to go about the meeting smiling like I knew nothing when inside I was screaming. Not him, how? I didn’t even say hello to him a day before, I heard him laugh….
He liked me, he kept telling some clients I was ‘staff of the year’ a day before I traveled, the last time I sat down with him, he laughed and asked me if I knew what his driver called me? I said I did ‘asa’ and he told me asa means beautiful in igbo.
He wasn’t so popular with the staff, but he was nice to me.

I was at the hospital after the meeting, I refused to go in to see his body, but as he was wheeled into the ambulance to move him to a mortuary I saw his body wrapped up and there was this feeling of 'jeez lifes got jokes'
I headed to the airport for porthacourt, I felt dreadful during the flight, I kept seeing the lifeless form of his body floating in the clouds as i kept wondering how possible…I didn’t sleep that night.

I’m back to the office for the first time since he died last week. I’m really not that weak I think, but I dreaded coming in, I had a near panic attack, I’m holding on to my inhaler. I cant bring myself to go downstairs to his office where he slumped, I heard his shoes are still in there and his jacket.
Life’s sad.
I saw the papers yesterday, the net is full of stories, they said he died of cardiac arrest from the downward trend of the market. What a joke that paper should be sued.
I’m trying to get myself together to work today.

I’m not sure if I’m to say ‘rest in peace’ cos I remember 30+ saying it doesn’t make sense saying that.
So I guess adieu it is.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

my sunday...

heard i'm in this sundays thisday style...i didn't get the papers today :( so havent seen it. but from the description of my outfit by the 'see'ers' the pic was taken at the recently held 'nigerians next super model' show, as long as i wasnt being dissed which i wasnt(i've got style so no fears) and so long as i'm not on the 'do not' list then i can be right smack in the pages.

its funny the first thing i thought of was 'damn and i was going to wear that outfit in two weeks'
i'm still wearing it, i cant let one of my best ever deola sagoe pieces go to waste:)
i always have a mocking word for those 'friends/people' i regard as 'socialites' when i sight them in the style pages, so i'm not sure what to feel now, hypocritical if i say i've got a feel good thingy about it and also hypocritical if i say i'm not so sure how i feel. but who cares.

had my nails done today, i love it ;) turayo at nail place is the best.
then went to terraculture, its no Broadway but its just as lovely. twas trials of brother jerome and the sequence. oh, how we laughed, it was fun, it was well played out, it was much more than i expected. i'm glad i got invited by my friend. i've always wanted to go for the plays at terra, but no friend seem to be theater inclined like i am, the thought of going alone fazed me, now i know its no biggie going alone,i'll get to meet new people. i'll be doing that more often. trials of brother jerome will be playing all month, and next month the lion and the jewel would start. i'll definitely be seeing that. plus the price is good enough, N2000 for tickets. it runs at 3pm and 6pm respectively.

i'm not prepared for my trip, not as excited as i was when mom was in the picture, haven't changed currencies, haven't packed, i hate packing. especially whenever i know i'll be doing loads of shopping. if i had my way i'd never pack more than one change of clothes cos i always get new things so whats the point, but i cant do without taking more than i need, just incase. i'm the master of excesses, partly cos i dont know how to pack well and stuff things in suitecases,so i know what excess luggage i'll be coming back with.
i'll try and have as much fun outside shopping as i can .

church was solemnly exciting, we were compelled to renew our covenant with God, and he'll deliver us.
talking of covenants/promises/vows....we all take it as a joke today, especially in the most sacred of them all...marriage. its appalling the number of married people prowling the streets and chasing after girls.
i made a pledge and i redeemed it. it was hard, i kept thinking, i dont have to, they dont need it, i can get away with not coming through afterall they're family and they'll still love me.
but i did go through with it and i'm glad, the thankyous melted the heavyness in me that i was sweet and thoughtful and all the goods,
i'm glad i went through with it, cos seeing them proud of me has made my year. its got a feel good enzyme i've been dwelling in.

have a great week y'all!

Saturday, October 11, 2008

lagos na wa....

lmao....lagos na real wa.
just got back from picolomondo.
went for drinks with this friend of mine. i desperately wanted to sit upstairs but when we got there, it was filled,lots of people i really dont care about, so i dragged him downstairs.
dude is one of those interesting guys that every girl wants to be around, hes a friend and a funny one at that, you just find yourself spilling out to him. which is risky cos you dont know who his next date would be and what hes saying about you.
plus since he knows everything, i get to hear the true stories first hand and like they say 'talk about the devil' as hes finishing with one story next we know the talked about person walks in, or a person walks in and he starts narrating a funny experience, most of them involving him dragging over a babe with some guy...if city people employs me, lots of people would be in trouble, or maybe i could start my very own gossip girl nigerian blog.lol

so we went downstairs which was relatively empty, save for a table with three girls, i noticed the louis vuitton bag(one of the damian collection bags placed heavily on the table. like it was the lord of their manor ). there was a heated arguement going on and lawd, how i tried not to eavesdrop even though i wouldnt have been wrong to do so as they were arguing loud enough for everyone to hear, then they'd switch to yoruba when they felt they had to be descret. my companion is a proper born and bred yoruba dude.

apparently, some guy got a gift for one of the ladies, i suspect its the very same bag gingerly placed on the table. fair enough guys buy ladies gift but this chic was married.
so chic is standing with her husband when someone compliments her bag, she graciously and i suppose 'modestly' says thanks and explains its a gift.
her friend now blurts out, a hundred and fifty thousand naira gift.
there comes the trouble, hubby blows up when he hears the real price,why would so and so person give you such an expensive gift. and till the moment they were 'digging it out' at the resturant, things were tense at home.
the poor babe who exposed the madame was been bombarded by madam and the third lady on the table with insults as she calmly tried to explain that she didnt see anything wrong in saying what she said, and except her friend is actually doing something with the guy, then theres no need to sound so guilty, bla bla bla.
the third one screamed at her to 'shut up' if you're jealous tell one of your so called executive boyfriends to get you a bag and.....
that was the straw that broke the camels back as the calm one lost it, got up, picked up her purse and muttered to the two yellers 'if you want to scream, scream at the person you're defending, shes the one who slept with your boyfriend'(she said this in yoruba)
thats when the slap came, the louis vuitton was thrown on the floor as the two previous 'best friends' went at it with each other, forgetting the one they came to fight as she calmly walked out.
classic performance. i wished my camera was there, i desperately wanted to take the picture of the 150,000naira bag lying on the floor, forgotten as the ladies attacked themselves.

and then the one and only 'prestigious' gym in v/i(hint hint, on ozumba mbadiwe)
****had to take off that it of the story. sorry

the things we see and hear in lagos everyday...*sigh* lagos na wa!!!!

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

you call this a holiday?....at least i learnt stuff!

i learnt loads of stuff these three day(five day) holiday.....
i learnt that....

not all holidays are fun. fact that there's a break doesn't mean it'd be 'oh so sweet' urggggh.
didnt go nowhere on friday night, had the flu, saturday morning breakfast at cactus with friends turned out to be disastrous as we were all high on temper, some road work was going on within lekki phase one and there was some mad crazy traffic, by the time we drove back into the estate it was already time for lunch, picked on our food at avalon house.
monday wasnt that great either, tuesday was a little light and wenesday? had a meeting, when i was supposed to be chilling.

i learnt that facebook is really fun. i had absolutely nothing to do, but i was glued to facebook all saturday evening and a bit of sunday, laughing and commenting on peoples pictures, throwing maccain at people, and getting amused with peoples status update 'i'm in lag with wife, to see sister k and husband,just back from dubai with wife after 10 days' helllllllooooo, LMAO! i know status messages always have a hint of 'boast' in it. but this just got to be on top....someone trying so hard to tell stuff.

i learnt that reading two absolutely brain scorching books at the same time is a possibility, well make that three, i'm reading roots, the kunta kinte story, lolita about the sicko oldie and the hans anderson translated stories(fairytales or whatever). its fun just switching between them. roots got me thinking about how hard it must have been for those slaves, and hating the whites, same time i've learnt from it that i definitely dont think paying bad with bad rocks.
i was totally against the whites and what they pulled off with the slaves, but when i read of how some slaves actually poisoned the babies of their 'massas' i found myself almost screeching at how mean that was.)

i learnt that my lips are so soft...gwad, i's jus wanna kiss it, whoever is the massa of thos lips gonna hav a might good time.(since reading roots, i jes love speak the 'nigger' english)

i learnt its mighty easy to manipulate a man to do anything for you. all you have to do is pout or sigh dramatically and he'll trip over himself trying to figure out whats wrong...and after he drops you home,he'll keep calling, and all you have to do is answer with a sad sigh and say 'i cant talk right now'
you'll get flowers for no reason whatsoever....classic.

i learnt that when you meet a guy you absolutely fall in crush with in your favorite dress(first time you wear it)and you don't see him for another dozen of moons,and in that time you avoid wearing this really flattering dress just in case he sights you somewhere in it(and goes second time i'm meeting her and shes in same outfit).
well the day you decide to wear it, thinking 'hell with him, hes never going to be at so so bar at this time'...well he certainly will be..
its so annoying, all those hangouts i avoided wearing this purple jersey dress to and never seeing him there.
today i go for a house party thingy and then to this bar to watch the man utd match and smack bang there he is walking around like he owned the place, which apparently he does as i learnt....crap!

and i learnt that my lips are so so soft...uhmmm. oh sorry i mentioned that already. i'm just nibbling on them and thinking i should charge for a taste of this.

also learnt that that i have to stop lusting over wayne rooney. i've followed that guys leg since forever and lusted after him, maybe solely cos he plays for the best team in the world...
i realised that my cousin seems to look like him body and face wise(not like hes got a body and face to die for)and the dudes a football junky too. we've had scouts from reading coming to sniff him up.thus i have to stop the lusting after rooney, cos it feels like incest.like its my cousin i'm lusting after. who knows what i'll be thinking when my cousin swaggers past me juggling a football.

and, the longest holidays are usually the most boring...said that before yeah? well i say it again. boring.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

four eyed god....

in the land of the blind the one eyed man is king, the two eyed man's a king of the king and the four eyed man? well he is the god....
i get my prescription glasses on Monday.
i cant say i'm excited about it. my friend says i'll look like a total nerd.
i've tried to convince her otherwise and in the process convince myself that its not so bad....shes satisfied with taunting me....whatever, shes a mere two eyed specie. i'm four eyed, now how special can that be?

such an irony.
when i was a little girl,i would wear moms kaftans and her high heeled shoes, an assortment of jewelry and handbag, and the final look of adulthood, her glasses. and i would walk out of her room tripping over myself in the blurriness of her glasses and the over sized gear to play pretend in my room or wherever i could be alone, acting like i was in my own office, signing 'documents'(blank papers) like i watched mom do, and telling accountants and other officers off. that's what i get for spending every free moment i had in moms office.(can that qualify as child abuse? her not discouraging me to go play with my mates rather than hang out with her at work...lol) i digress.

if only i knew then what i know now, that i don't want to have to use prescribed glasses, let alone own one. i was given an option of contact lenses. i love my brown eyes alot, and as appealing as the idea of playing around with colors seem, i'm not up for stuffing my fingers in my eye.

i chose the next best thing to unnerdy i could find. a white framed Chanel. thus on monday i become an official four eyed fella....a god in the land of the blind.
thats special right?

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

say cheeeeeeese:-)



i'm not a pro in photography, but i love to click.
this shot sort of translates my life.
i did the colour patch to create that effect of a new and brighter me emerging to drown the gloomy, dark, boring drabness of the old me.
and the trucks my moving truck, moving out a bit of my dark and scary baggage...lol

got a new camera some weeks back. i'll put the behind camera post up soon enough.
been so busy learning all i can about life love and life and love and life plus a bit of work and the essence of hate and forgiveness(dont ask for tips, i'm still clueless). haven't had the time to blog hop and drop comments.
and then to add to my problems, theres the ever frustrating new facebook thats so so urgggggggh
and coppershunism(nysc) is such crap. i've worn my uniform three times in total. its kinda sexy...makes you feel like a woman in uniform, how i wanted to hold a riffle the first time i wore the khakis...lol! those boots are so uncomfortable. had a new set of khakis sewn so i dont get to wear the pathetic unfit set we're given. had to take pictures in them as proof to all those haters claiming i didnt serve my fatherland.

i so cant wait for the three day holiday coming immediately after the weekend, meaning five days free. monday and tuesday is ramadan holiday, wenesday is independence. yes we have too many holidays in nigeria but who's complaining, personnally i think we dont have enough holidays.
all day today i kept humming the song we sang in primary school 'holiday is coming, holiday is coming, no more morning bells(alarm clocks)............'

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

he's black hes white,,,it dont matter if hes black or white!

michael is one hell of a sweetheart. No i wasnt the one who had the heart wrenching crush on him, cut his pictures out and placed in a shrine like photo album of him, or dream of getting married to him...na, i wasnt that crazy over micheal like the sister most household seems to have. i was/am in love with him alright, but i never saw myself kissing him or having his babies, okay fine, maybe, the '10 yr old i want u back video kept me drifting, he was little in it and i was tiny then, so go figure, the romantic liason would have been him coming over to play doll house with me...these days i look back at the thriller videos and i'm taken back to those beautiful days of waiting to watch tv just so we could slot in a michael video tape and watch him dance, and i cant help but trip all over again for the person he was.

after his cover page appearance on ebony sometime last year, i fell head over heels in non lustful love with him again. i forgot about how messed up his life seem to be with the face and all the scandal, i just drifted off to his 'oh baby give me one more chance' and how cute he was then, his smile, his energy on stage, i watched over and over again clips of him performing and was amazed at the impact he had on those people, jumping and screaming and crying and fainting and just so in total awe, i wondered how anyone would cry just for a persons performance...well i dont really wonder cos i also get so spirit lifted when i watch him on stage too, theres just something gripping about michael.
so what if he's a lil messed up
so what if hes white now? it dont matter if his black or white
so what if his bad? a smooth criminal?
sometimes when i judge him for all those accusations that he possible didnt do, i cant help but wonder what he sees when he looks in the mirror? a guilty person whos lost so much in life? or just a normal person?does he look in the mirror at all?
are we, the fans part of the hammer thats broken him?(not like he didnt get himself broken before we arrived the scene)

on one of kat williams stand up comedy shows, he said stuff of not been deceived by micheal. hes black, how come his kids are all white? got me thinking too...are his genes supposed to change when he has a 'skin problem'? but who am i to judge, if a 'black guy' has white babies, what do we know?
but seriously he seems gay, doesnt he? not like...well maybe i'm judging, maybe i'm been stereotypically but he talks, walks , smiles and dresses gay, what am i not to think of. theres this prank call i saw on youtube, you just have to listen to it.


my ipods been on repeat all weekend, my micheal playlist of every song hes possibly ever done/released from childhood to date keeps playing, a dozen of them sound unfamiliar, but i just grasp his voice and let it do what it does to me..lol

i love michael and i'm not ashamed to say it.( i wonder why i still got to love him, he didnt even send me a card for my birthday) since we're confessing i might as well confess that i still dance to spice girls very first songs...spice up your life and oh, yes i've got a mickey mouse disney world all stars(ie donald duck , tazan et co)stored on my pod and er..(okay i'll keep this one to myself...damn thats some hot shit, i aint spilling.


i had to post this video here, most of you would have seen it, some jail somehwere having a ball with micheal. good to know people locked up have something to live for.lol

Thursday, September 11, 2008

7 years ago....2 memorials and a celebration.

its that day again...trying to figure out what it is i was doing on this day seven years ago..its kind of blurry and all, i remember not knowing anything significant had happened in the world across the Atlantic, i was out all day with my friends and all we watched on tv was the booty shaking music videos on MTV and Channel O...and as i got home, late for lunch as usual, there was this solemn look on moms face as she told me what happened, there was a terrorist attack in the US, the twin towers had been attacked and a couple of jetliners were hijacked...CNN was on and the image kept replaying as reporters filled us in...i was devastated, i was scared...well, those are understatements, i kept shaking inside me with fear, fear that my family across the states were hurt(thankGod they were safe), fear that this was going to mark a beginning of new sets of uncertainties....i kept thinking 'terrorist attack in the U.S of A?, if that can happen there, the safest place in my small opinion on earth(then), then who in any country is safe?...

not we here in Nigeria without all of the fancy and intimidating names of FBI and CIA and co...but then, after the heart break and the crying, we've lived on, we've reminisced, we've wondered how it went wrong, we've been scared out of our skin with little uncertainties and misjudgments and unfair harassment of young arabs carrying rucksacks..
then there was the war which kept me up all night, because i kept wondering about those young beautiful and brave people away from their families,fighting and living in a world of 'maybe', not knowing if they're going to survive the whole process....but all in all we've survived it all, and somehow the world and the families have moved on,even though the twin towers crashed in the united states, it crashed all over the world, because the whole world was affected one way or the other....friends of friends families were affected.

seven years later, we think back and wonder where we are, where we are headed, but sort of soothed out...its terrible, but i'm thankful we've moved on, we've healed and we can talk about that day without crying as much. we can talk about newyork and all its shopping bliss without a sad sigh. somehow, THE SUN HAS COME UP AGAIN....and through the whole cloudy, smoky, choky and dark days of the years past, we've been let in the sunlight, a brighter day...God bless America....God bless the world.
and God bless Rita and her family who lost her dad 15 years ago today.
i read her post today and theres so much to be learned from her and all shes been through

P.S.... on a lighter note, carlang's been busy while away from blogsville. there i was reading an article in the latest edition of genevive magazine, i thought the style looked familiar, and then i finish reading and who's name do i see....carlang.
twas a really good write up, then, its carl, so what do you expect? 'the trick to writing is to write'
that was an inspiring piece, although his statement of 'i was born in the magical times' made me see my dad saying 'in my time, back in the day' lol
i've staked my claim 'i know him' why, just a few weeks ago he asked me to be his best friend, i didnt even beg him.lol
heres a toast to you man.
i'm exicited for you. who knows, you might be to genevive what segun johnson is to true love.

Monday, September 1, 2008

finding my culture...finding myself!



i know we've all seen this video one too many times. but i had to put it up here.
i'm embarrassed that shes trying so desperately to hold on to her culture, while we are desperate to let go of this culture that is a definition of who we are, what we're about.

slowly we're been drawn away from our mother tongue/culture by the borrowed culture of the west, it don't matter that we dwell in our motherland...we still stretch out as far as we can to grasp that culture, the language,, the food, the dressing, the songs, the attitude....thus becoming Different people with different beliefs and values(as held by our fathers), different yearnings and hopes and dreams(dont get me wrong, sometimes this is a good thing)

but seriously, what do we teach our children? would our culture be extinct in their generation? would they suffer what i suffered as a child, not being able to communicate with my grandma, seating and staring at her, wanting to say so much, but limited by the barricade built by my lost culture, the inability to speak my mother tongue.

i enjoy her tastefully cooked meals, but how do i get the recipes from her, those details that make it different from the rest? how do i tell her how her food gives me this euphoria even chocolates have failed to achieve? when i can only so much as speak brokenly to her in words as simple as 'come, go, me, you, goodnight, thankyou, good morning' i understand her to an extent...brokenly too as i pick out words 'how are you, food, come, go, no, thankyou'

what are the stories dwelling in her? waiting to be passed into my ready ears, stories of life lessons that'd save me from situations where i'm left wondering? lessons that a mother cant break down properly, only a grandmother can tell it right? stories of her mother my great-grandma and how she raised her to become a strong beautiful woman that she is....
all these stumbles when we've never been permanently removed from her grasp by the big iron bird....as it always brings us back to her whenever and wherever it takes us to, or have we been removed from her grasp by the foreign tongue we tsk at her? is she just satisfied to have our hugs, at least its a mutual language of 'i love you'
how frustrated does she feel when she speaks and her great-grand kids just hug her, give her a peak and run off to play, having no idea that she's asking them how they're doing?

yes, my kids would have it good, because my mother would sing them lullabies, she'll whisper stories in their ears as their eyes fall asleep...all in the foreign mans tongue(that's if they havent adopted french or chinese as the new IT language of their time, and thus be at a loss with their granma like i was)
would our children ever experience the moonlight stories narrated in the folk tongue and all those folk songs(well,maybe most of us didn't, but then that's just how much we've missed)

with inter-tribal marriages reigning. me being a product of one of such mix, you'd imagine that the richness of culture i posses would be so refined i'd be a posh multi lingual cultured girl. how shameful that the opposite is the case for me and loads of others like me. i'm not disputing the western culture..no, its wonderful, its given us bacon, and chocolates,and burgers and cashmere and those beautiful gadgets and jimmy choos and Louis vuitton and vogue and french kiss and.........but like Magaret mead the American anthropologist pointed ...
As the traveler who has once been from home is wiser than he who has never left his own doorstep, so a knowledge of one other culture should sharpen our ability to scrutinize more steadily, to appreciate lovingly, our own
so true, we should experience other cultures, but be careful not to loose ourselves in its deepness, stay shallow enough so we can easily drift back to the culture that defines our beings.

bassey ikpi despict's a lost child craving for the culture of her fatherland. hopefully someday soon enough, we'd realize how special our culture is, and run back to hug it close....

Thursday, August 21, 2008

for carl!

I'm not one to judge, but like loads of bloggers I've silently watched carlang deny his feelings for his besty stolic(not one to judge,so maybe he feels nothing...ahem)
This scene from the movie chasing amy, where holden mcneil was driving with his best friend alyssa jones and then stopped the car to declare his love for her. Its a moving speech he gave. And I think you should try it carlang. Assuming you've got feelings for her that is.

Holden mcneil(carl): I love you. And not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends, and not in a misplaced affection, puppy dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furtherest thing fron an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I just can't take it anymore.

I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you, I can't. I can't look into your eyes without feeling that, that longing you only read about in thrashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are.
And I know this will probably queer our friendship- no pun intended- but I had to say it, because I've never felt this way before and I don't care.

I like who I am because of it. And if bringing this to light means we can't hang out anymore then that hurts me *insert*(fantasy queen is ready to be my new bestfriend though so it wouldn't really matter).
But God, I just, I couldn't allow another day to go by without just getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shootdown.
And you know I'll accept that. But I know, I know some part of you is hesistating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesistation, then that means you feel something too.all I ask, please is that you just, you just not dimiss that- and try to dwell in it for just ten seconds.

Alyssa(stolic) there isn't another soul on this fucking planet who has ever made me feel half the person I am when I'm with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it is there between you and me. You can't dey that. Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight,please know that I'm forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me.
******************
Now that's some powerful speech, I fell for it and was nodding yes before i snapped back to reality and realised I was on my couch and no one was talking to me.

But I can't help thinking, what's the next level he wants to move to with her? Is it sex? Is that what he's thinking? And is that what'll make their already great friendship perfect?

So carl, the ball is in your court. And be sure to vidcam this it when you do, I'm sure it'd be an oscar worthy performance. Lol

Thursday, August 14, 2008

NO 29...climb to the top of a mountain.

FQ's back to life. thanks y'all for the encouraging words. it was scary, i'm still a bit weak but i ain't going nowhere anytime soon. yes i got bitch slapped by christiana yang, ha, no OR for her with me. the power of prayers is more than we can ever imagine. it was a blood clot, that was the diagnosis, but after so much declaration and praying we saw the caddy again and everythings clear. theres still the possibility of asthma thus i still got to be on an inhaler and some sedatives though. but its all good.

maybe my 101 things to do before you're old and boring should be 101 things to do before you're dead and decayed. lol'




things to do no.29....Climb to the top of a mountain
those who know me and maybe call me lazy(secretly) would have to swallow their words which might perhabs choke them(oh yes, i hope it does), because fellas... i have, yes me have actually climbed a mountain! Mount Kumgang or diamond mountain in kumgangsan, north korea, known as the most beautiful mountain in east asia, its been known for its beauty since antiquity,rising to 5,374 ft. within it houses beautiful lakes, rivers and such breathtaking peaks, the koreans have a believe that one would regret it if he doesnt see the mountain before he dies. There are scenic ravines and caverns and loads of ancient Buddhist temples.




the ascent was a challenging climb,so steep that if staircases and footmarks weren't craved out of the rocks i'd be one of the 'lost casualties', there was a scary walk across a snake bridge(i swear i saw myself dead, that was the scariest ten minute walk i've ever taken, as the rivers roared underneath me and the rocks waited patiently for a slip from above) , despite the steepness and the fear, the surrounding pinnacles which soared like needles made from stone from the depth of the valley, the beautiful waterfall, the wild flowers,in splashes of beautiful colours made it worth the climb, though at the time i couldn't think cos i kept chanting "what have i gotten myself into?, why didnt i stay back in the hotel"


it took a whole 3 or more hour hike to get to the top. and as i stood at the top, not seeing anything because of the cloudy mist around, i felt i had my head stuck in the clouds, like the world had disappeared and we were the only ones left.... but most of all, i felt victorious, i made it to the top, the climb back was almost as scary but i'm still alive,i guess the fear of scary wild animals the tour guide told us about and the fear of getting missing kept me going...but it was all worth it cos i can tick it off in my to do book.


climb to the top of a mountain...looking at it from a non literally term, i see it to be, don't give up, whatever the situation, no matter how scary, tiring and frustrating it be, we have to endure, overcome our fears and put aside our weakness to conquer our mountains of problems. when those moments come, we should pray, not for the mountain to be taken away, but for the strenght to climb, cos the climb, the final step that leads us to the top makes it all worth it...chao!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

FQ is all about psalm 118:17

I will not die but live, and I will proclaim what the lord has done. Psalm 118:17.

That’s my portion. almost lost it a couple of times in the past week. I felt myself going, my sisters saw me going and as they prayed and screamed at me to hang on, somehow got the strength to hang on. You know that feeling like you think ‘what the hell am I doing, I can stop this’ but somehow you cant stop it cos you’re not in control of your body. Your thoughts are all jumbled. And all I could do is scream for my mummy(that’s the power of parents) all the while i kept thinking 'i cannot die now, i have a life to live, i have things to do, theres a sweet man somewhere for me waiting and he cant loose me(lol, i had to think of that to) i've got babies to have, i've got a whole load of goodness ahead of me)

Frantic prayers, doctor and nurses running round, then a shot of this and that to calm me down and then I’m strong enough to worry about mom who’s in London crying and trying frantically to get a flight out the next day to be with her baby .but so afraid to sleep cos the devil put fear into me that the thought of closing my eyes felt like giving in to death.

the attack comes as a tightness in my chest and i'm practically breathless, almost like an asthma attack, but clearly not an asthma attack. my head is light and the more i gasp for breath the more i dont get any in and i'm light headed and feeling lost and ....i really cant describe how it happens...
There I was three nights in the hospital, the docs not figuring out whats wrong as my chest and lungs are clear, so what causes the spasms and breathlessness ,and the only question the various doctors keep asking trying to relate it to is maybe an emotional trauma? panic attacks? and almost bringing in a shrink…that’s like crap, I’ve been through worse and I might cry but I never get traumatized to a point of almost loosing my life. do you have a boyfriend? do you want a boyfriend?(yeah, like that'd make me breathless) I’m this close to humoring them and telling them that there’s some guy somewhere who takes my breath away, I think of him and I’m breathless till I get to the roadblock to the grave and I’m sternly commanded to go back to life. Lol. Not funny(but they desperately want to hear something) one asked me if I was broke, needed something desperately? (seriously? i just hit the biggest deal of my life so far, so money aint near it).
Moments like this made me wish I could be in a scene in greys anatomy, have Christiana yang examine me, then get pissed off cos its just some minor issues that don’t require a heart surgery….but of course they figure out what it is and i'm well again. where’s fairytale coming to life when you need it?

But all things happen for a reason, I’m closer to God now and I keep speaking his word to myself, for he has said I shall not die but live and I will proclaim what he has done. For he has said in psalm 121 ‘he watches over me and will neither slumber or sleep’. In isaiah 43 he has said I should fear not for he has redeemed me, I am his, he knows my name, I am precious and honored in his sight, and he loves me".Its amazing the power of Gods word, for as you speak it you repel the enemies, maybe its medical, maybe its more than what meets the eyes, whatever it be he asked me to fear not. And I will fear not, I will live to proclaim his goodness.(man maybe I should turn pastor)

I did an ecg and all the medical thingy tests on friday. I have an appointment with the cardiologist monday morning, and some other specialists too.i'm tired of the humor i try to keep up with friends who come around or call to see how i'm doing.
and i'm so awed at the friends i never knew i had, people i called acquaintances are always around me, checking up and being sweet. flowers, chocolates, cards....

geez, the all mighty wannabe posh me has been seen at her worst, hair all scattered, face as bare as ...bare, no earrings, no bra...ewwww and to think all the wannabe boyfriends saw me that way, some where unfortunate enough to be there when i had attacks. at least they haven't stopped calling(i probably didnt look so bad.lol) now i've got a weave(conrow) on my head, five weaves to be precise and it makes me feel like a little school girl without the makeups, just a chapstick.LMAO. i love the look.

moms here with me, she arrived tonight and I feel good, I’ll sleep close to her tonight, and get that tlc, I’ll feel her wake up at night to check my temperature for fever(not like i have any), I’ll feel her arrange the duvet around me and prop my head up(I have to sleep propped up to aid my breathing), and i'll hear her whispering in prayer for me in the dark. I’m sure it is well with me.
pray for me and wish me luck y'all

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

101 things to do before you're old and boring....

101 things to do before i'm old and boring....
i got a book titled '101 things to do before you're old and boring' three years ago, i tend to get silly books sometimes for the heck of it. i admit most of the things in this book are absolutely stupid and i'd be crazy to do them...like absolutely. but then if i pass on doing them does that qualify me as old and boring?

things to do no 26 said that i start a blog. i already had two blogs before i got the book, but then i started 'inyamus eldorado ' which has been my most consistent blog.

no 38. says to make a time capsule.that was fun to do. just at the right time, yahoo 360 was organizing a time capsule. i don't remember what pictures or write ups i have locked up there, but thats the fun part, cos in 2020 twelve years from now when the capsule is opened i'll be shocked and i'll laugh at the silliness of it all.

no35. says learn how to ask someone out (and how to dump them) uhhh, sounds interesting , might try that one out. any volunteers?

things to do no 1. says to send a message in a bottle. here comes my sinister laugh. message in a bottle indeed. i was almost going to do that, my little fantasy filed head kept imagining a scene where some old lady picks up my message in a far away country(italy to be precise),then her drop dead gorgeous grandson out of curiousity and a little persuasion from his gandma emails me(with the address i'm instructed to include in the bottle) and then we'll fall in love and live happily ever after. indeed not. my friend laughed so hard when she heard my version of things. then she asked me to think away from fantasy, imagine the bottle floating away in the waves of alpha beach or takwa bay as the current carries it to bar beach(far cry from sailing to italy or some exotic country) and some water spirit or white garment pastor or crack head in barbeach picks it up, my email addy would be of no use as they would personally come sailing to visit me and/or the crack head would hallucinate about me so much he might actually sniff his way to me. i reconsidered doing this task.

no 14 says to see a ghost...they're so crazy, like i'd go out of my way to get haunted. i see a ghost even it its of my dearest daddy and i'd get a shock of a life time, never be myself again.....

no 58 says start a band, maybe with afrobabe and bumight as backup singers? i think not, maybe we could record separately in the shower cos i think thats when i sound the sexiest, and afro claims to be a singer in the shower too...anyone cares to join?

no 80 start your own secret society...need i say more? maybe i should consider it, not the violent ones of schools like vikings and black axes around....but something more...exciting, maybe chasing and dumping boys like no 35 says or probably....i could start one that specializes in bitch slapping girls that love to grab at some other ladies man, or men that love to stray a lil'.

no59 camp out in the back garden....well i tried moving from home once after mom scolded me for stealing(taking?) a bar of chocolate from her room without her permission.i was going to move out to the backyard(that was as far as i was permitted to go without an adult) i got a couple of sticks together to build my own little tent and damn the movies for making it seem easy, my seven year old self almost died of exhaustion trying to haul just one stick into the ground. i packed my lil rucksack back to the room to sleep in my comfty bed, permanently forgeting i was mad at mom

no 78 says to hold a jumbo sale. bad idea as i'd repurchase everything i put up for sale. i'm that sentimental about my pocessions....

basically its a fun book, but some things on the list make me think twice, and attach life's lessons to it. it comes off as more than just goofy stuff.
i'll do as much '101 things to do post' as i can for lack of better things to blog about, cos right now my life is one roller coaster anything but my story is worth blogging about.

and moving on to bright and sunny things... the rainbow.
i saw the rainbow last week thursday, it was the highlight of my existence last week. after a near frustrating week, i was in the car headed home, as nina simone played in the background,then i saw it, way up yet so close to me. it teased me endlessly, it cheered me up, reminded me of the awesomeness of God and his infinite mercies, of what hes promised to me, of all that is beautiful and all that is wonderful. it was the rainbow.

its been years since i observed one, or got excited over one. and that childhood that loved all things beautiful came to play as i exclaimed gleefully and excitedly looked on and cheered, there was this beautiful aura in the car, nina simone sounded like some angelic chant and in my head, i had the 'halleluyah hyme' playing like a scene in a movie where the actor strolls out from a fight scene victorious doing the 'cool' walk in slow motion. it made me remember this poem by William Wordsworth
My heart leaps up when I behold
A rainbow in the sky:So was it when my life began;
So is it now I am a man;So be it when I shall grow old
Or let me die!The Child is father of the Man;
And I could wish my days to be Bound each to each by natural piety...

lifes beautiful afterall. i was grateful for having that moment to give me a soft landing,and i called those who mattered to share.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

fantasy queens confused!

haven't blogged in a while. No, fq hasn't gone extinct nor has the blogville exit bug bitten her, i've just been so overwhelmed lately, going through lots of ish, personal, business and all, re-evaluation and a bit of rehabilitation. inbetween i have been ill, i have been happy, i have been emotional and actually cried(damn)but i'm still around.

read somewhere that we are our own betrayals, playing judas to our christ. how right they are. the harmony of me as a whole is so wretched i can barely trust me, my hearts such a betrayer, playing judas to the christ of my head. but like judas, is my heart willing to repent? take the rope and hang itself? no. you see the heart wants to live on, to keep going....why wouldn't it just stop before it gets too late? crap.
what happens when your head and your heart pulls you in different directions? do you stand still in the middle and die or go where your heart pulls you to damning it all? even though you know your heads so so right. i guess thats why we're humans. we know the truth but we want to create our own truth and ignore the real thing. sad.

my 'almost boyfriend', the guy i liked, but knew we couldn't date got married some weeks back and i forgot completely, how nice, was having so much fun at the beach on the day of his hookup i forgot to remember until two days later when a friend mentioned it to me.:-) yayyyyy! he calls me on the average twice a week these days for a less than 2min conversation. well more of an interview cos i behave like a cheerful intern been interviewed 'hi, fine, good, alright, really, bye'(i know, its not his fault. but how do you react to a guy whos proposed to you before and still calls after marriage)

so much for an update. hope to get back on board the ship of blogging.

23 cheers!

i hit 23 er 20 on sunday, i feel really old, not so old that i'd be in a home(lol' obviously) but old enough to look at cute little babies and sigh and think...'that should be mine 10 years ago. okay i'm not that crazy eh.

6th july it was, i cant remember sliding into the world or the first pain that made me yelp from the doctors first spank on my backside(his only chance of getting kinky with me. lol sweet old man he was) but i can still feel the love and blessings thats been giving to me by my family from birth till now. it dont matter that i always have fights with my sister T, or H, E and mom tend to be overly protective. its all love behind the little hitches.
no i didnt grow a tooth at one month(couldnt afford to be deprived of the breastfeeding so i chilled like a normal kid) nor did i talk at three months(cos i wanted to hear all the juicy secrets) nor walk at four months. i sure wasnt a wonder baby(well i was but i curbed it cos i needed humility for a bit) but i definately had the brain to choose this wwonderful family as my earthly abode.

they say what is humility but inverted pride? so true so true, so i'm not going to choke on pride buried inside me anymore(yes i was really a wonder baby, screw humility), i'm going to boast my heart out.
i've been a lot of things before twenty three. i'm been fat, i've been model thin and inbetween i've been smashing(define smashing the way you want).
i've been wanna be razz, i've been posh, and i've been good plain ol' jane doe.
i've been flat broke, i've hit my millionaire naira mark over and over again in the real sense:). and by real sense i mean with no family connection, no hand outs from them, but just simple subtle hustling...lol'(yes i have been a silent predactor)
and same time i've learnt that while its tempting to live the life and spend like a superstar, i've got to do investments that'll pay me off in years to come. thus i've gotten myself rooted in some good choices(i hope) of private companies.
i might not be where i had hoped to be by now, but i've achieved more than i expected.
nope, no relationship yet, lots of dates that gets tiring...but its fun
i've been many a things by 23, but i've never stopped being me in the long run.
i've been insecure, i've been independent, i've been sweet, i've been a devil, i've loved, i've hated....most importantly i have lived. i'm gateful to God for those tender mercies i seem to miss and take for granted.

23 is good, sorry i get the numbers mixed up 20 is good i hope to achieve more and grow stronger in every aspect.be a better person too. grow with the positive, get rid of my favorite sentence 'i dont know' because i really do know,its just that i cant be bothered with talking too much. and as much as i hate the process of travel, i intend to travel a bit this year.been holed up in here forever. if i dont get my leave from work, then i'll take it as a sign to sod work and be freeeeee!

had problems organising something for me birthday cos i have such a diverse group of 'friends', and i knew putting them all under one roof would be some sort of .... so i had lunch organised at churrasco with those in my age group. i needed to feel loved, and then i rushed home to prepare for dinner with my sister and my older friends who i feel more comfortable with. then there was a midnight snack, ice cream and fudge cake with myself. the best of all the celebrations.

Friday, June 27, 2008

a breakdown of eldorado

why inyamu's eldorado? cos eldorado is that special place, a significance of my fantasies so far off from reality. although i'm more real than i've ever been here, it feels more like a surreal life when i write them down. it makes things actually better than they were when i read back.
the books describe eldorado as a legendary story in which precious stones were found in fabulous abundance.
to me its all that and more, for precious stones are precious but what else do they entail? they arent precious without happiness and those little things that make us humans, without the feeling of joy and love at out beak and call.

to me its that place splashed with the color of my dreams because realty somehow has found a way of becoming intolerable, so bleak that everything appears in black and white, from the little kids in the streets with no food, the women stricken so bad by poverty it feels like a curse, to those women and children(and maybe men who are abused daily)
eldorado is my life outside reality. those bleak moments that go blissful immediately i hear the laughter of my family when we all are more than just family but friends, where issues are put way way behind, where we're cool like that and replenishing on our love tank...

its that place i am when i let myself breakdown and more than just 'sigh' over a guy, flush at our conversations, think beyond the crush, beyond my boundaries....dare i say it be love? but what exactly is love? eldorado to me is that feeling.
eldorado to me is the tingling i feel in my toes and the tears i try to conceal as i listen to will youngs 'who am i'(it always gets me mushy). will youngs voice knocks me off, and the lyrics murders me. it says a lot i want to say, a lot i want to be told. if a guy sings that to me, i think i'll be up and over him in no time.

eldorado is the feeling of adrenalin in the moment when i go beyond the first minutes of fear as i do something ranked amongst my fear factors....like flying in a chopper, riding in a water scooter(once, and never again).

i know withdrawal into ones dreams/fantasy, blocking out cruel realty could be dangerous, but its exhilarating the feeling of oblivion to all that should be mattered about.
except i am dragged back to earth a little too soon, pulled back to reality with the sound of mom screaming my name to come change the channel(while the remotes lying on the coffee table in front of her), or my leg hurting, or my tummy grumbling for cheese and yogurt(which obviously i could get with just a snap of my fingers in eldorado.)
eldorado is my escape thus inyamus eldorado.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

musical tag

MEME Rules:1. Put Your iTunes/ music player on Shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT!!!
After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do the meme themselves!

i wasnt tagged, came across this on queens and i remember how i loved doing this a while ago with radio stations.
i love to cheat sometimes when it comes to games and quizzes, but i didnt in this, and dang i think i should have some of this stuffs scary.

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
you've been wrong...Toni Braxon.

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?touch it(remix)...Busta ryhmes(lol, more like 'dont touch')

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? Brown eyes...Destiny child. being that i love to cheat sometimes, i couldn't have come up with something better. i got brown eyes too. lol

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?year of the cat...al stewart. the words of the song are breezy and easy, so i guess it follows. cos i kind of feel that way right now(i lied, i don't feel breezy and easy right now, but so what?)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?moist...Janet Jackson( well we could say there's never a dry moment with me)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?falling in love with you...The Corrs(i guess they cant help falling in love with me..i wish)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS? Toxic...Britney spears( ouch, but i guess in a good way yeah)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
cazy in love...Snow patrol.

WHAT IS 2+2?
2000 watts...michael jackson

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
love dont love me...Justin timberlake(thats what she thinks of me, cos i bully her to death)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Larger than life...Backstreet boys(lolololo he is actually)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
i'm your angel...Celine dion and R.kelly

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Under the sun moon and stars...Jimmy cliff(i never knew this song existed till now)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
the last time...Rihanna(that figures, no wonder i always run from them.)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
can i have it like that...Pharell featuring Gwen stephanie

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Game over...Psquare..of all the songs to pop up, whatever happened to John travoltas 'only one that i want'?

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
if you died i wouldn't cry cause you never loved me anyway...Mya(say what, now i know theres a problem with my shuffle)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
when am i going to get over you...leann Rimes(probably translated to gushing over cute guys and timing self on when imma grow out of crush)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
its raining on prom night...grease soundtrack

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
step in time...walt disney crew(embarrassingly so, i have a walt disney mix of donald duck, mickey and the crew on my pod)

WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
share my world...mary j blige

thats all folks. i'm not tagging anyone cos i'm not doing the tag chain thingy.
*********************************************************************
update on Lacasa cutie.... becareful what you wish for, you just might get it. and trust me, sometimes that saying could be right in a wrong way. ouch, dude called before the end of the next day, declined dinner but had drinks with him. he was still cute and he still sounded hot. but the vodka veil that made my eyes pop was all cleared up. as we talked i kept wondering and forcing myself to feel a little bit of likeness....it didnt work out as i planned.
so i've dusted off the dirt from the fall i had for him, but as i'm getting cleaned up hes falling all over again,. it sucks. he wouldnt leave me alone always calling my phone...fi le. lol. thats the only thing i can bare to sing when i think of him. i'm teased mercilessly by those who held my hands as we waited for his call.lol. i'm trying to figure out how to get rid of him without hurting his feelings, after all, i stared the trouble for myself. dont get me wrong, he's not that boring if at all he is, but sometimes not every good thing is meant for us, not every good thing fits right, thats why we cant have every nice pair of shoe we sight even if we've got the money to pay. the friend who tried to play cupid has claimed she carries no blame as she acted in my best interest at that moment of my temporal insanity. bless her, i still love her though. not nice i tell y'all. i feel really bad when i dont answer his calls, and when i do,its almost disgusting the way he whines and gushes all over, and nothing short of pleads for another date. crap.this was supposed to be the perfect 'crush' story. girl meets boy, happily ever after. *sigh*
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people, cos you love me so much and i love you so much(or maybe just because....). i need y'all to check out this site and rate it daily or whenever you can. help a brother out, who knows he'd be the next milton greene, and we can smile smugly cos we know we helped in jump starting his famousity(excuse the word) and we might get him to take a shot that'd shoot us up as a cover material for vogue http://www.artistwanted.org/mayiimayowaogunnusi
heres a video i just had to share. i laughed myself silly.

kudos to the brother who made this clip, although in my opinion he over americanized the hero, should have made him darker, more nigerian, a lil bit thugish with all the slangs and stuff.
have a nice weekend, cos i intend to have a blast.
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