who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

valentine blues...

its so crappy the way the stores taunt you with all the red hearty decors on display,plus the dresses on display double crap, sort of like 'i bet you aint got a valentine, but you could as well get a pressy for yourself' tripple crap at em'.
i'm a red girl, i love red, thus my nails are almost always done up in red, but i go the salon on saturday for my manicure and as usual ask for a red polish and this chic is smiling knowingly at me and says 'feeling the season eh?' jeez, i'm a natural everyday red loving girl, i don't do red for the season...its crazy the way everyone goes gaga in red for valentine...

i wrote this a year ago in my journal and some other blog,its what i planed to do for last years valentine....
i've done what most ladies who love dressing up like me usual do...trying on clothes and just parading in front of the mirror, feeling pretty and all. there i was standing on a pile of discarded unworn pretty dresses,loving my new skinny look...thats when i knew that its high time i swallow my pretty girl bullshit, and all the farce of "whats the whole valentine buzz?", because as much as i want myself to be oblivious to it, i ain't, and i'll be damned if i don't have a good time this time, with or without a date... i could be my own special valentine, tell me how much i love me, give me flowers and chocolates and candies and heart shaped cakes and everything....i'll get those lovely red cards with red hearts and cute teddys and smile at me and be grateful to me for doing that for me, then to show my appreciation to me i'll dress up real nice and sweet(maybe one of the red dresses i tried on today), go out to a nice chinese or maybe mexican resturant(even though i'm not so crazy about them) or i could just go to newscafe and get me a nice takeout with a bottle of red wine(Italian, if i havent spent the whole of my money on splurging on beautiful shoes), so i'll get the food with the wine and then sit at home, in my room, surrounded with scented candles(red and white, saw some nice ones at the mall today), my light switched off ,the love songs playlist on my ipod playing, i'll have conversation with me( as babyface,chante moore and whoever it is plays softly in the background), and know more about me, then i'll run a nice hot bath with some scented oils and maybe a cocobutter sugar scrub,feel silky and fresh with myself, cuddle up with me and the teddy i might get from the bookstore today, and doze off to a place where i am queen, my fantasy land, with my prince charming, the perfect valentine date ever waiting for me on his horse...how sweet(except, i'll have to wake up in the morning with a headache from finishing a bottle of wine the night before)....or maybe not, maybe i might just give the whole valentine hype a try, agree to go out on a real date for once, maybe i'd do it, after all its better to try it and hate it than never trying at all...

plan didnt work, was sick silly in bed, no self date, no pretend date,no real date, just a bubbling fever, tried playing the love tunes and light the candles i bought before i got sick, ended up throwing up b4 the first song was through and the scent from the candle just killed my soul.
but at least i got a very fat cash from bro in law. and they changed their dinner plans to a family one by taking me along with the kids to protea for dinner. i'm sure the look on my sick killed many a mood at the restaurant, wondering if that sour look i had was of disgust at their idea of love.

well this year, sadly is the same story, poured my latest purchases on the bed and oh my, a bunch of red dresses and accessories tumbled out. it wasn't a planned purchase, i didnt plan on buying red stuff or even shopping, i'm supposed to be on a money diet,but like i sad i love red and the dresses were just taunting and daring me to buy plus they looked like they had my name on on them, you know, like they were so miserable in the store and it was only me that could rescue them, being the Darline i am, i couldn't let em go......uh...i'm a spendalious shopaholic...HELP!

so what am i going to do with the dresses? i have no idea, i've tried them on and they look so so cute, but i haven't agreed to any date for valentine, for one reason or the other i cant decide who to go out with anyone, maybe cos deep in my heart, i'm a hopeless romantic, i love the idea of vals, but i wouldn't waste the day on a date just because....i've thought it through and i know what i want,i want a date that did be the closest thing to the reason for the season,someone i truely love, i could look across the table at him and not think 'when is this going to be over, dont want to miss the news, did i remember to set one tree hill on record' or 'hurry with the gift busta'..lol(ok, i dont really think that)but then it'd be nice to think nice eldorady thoughts on val dates, thats why i want to go out with the one i love.
so i guess i might chill home and carry over my last years plan since i didnt get to do it.
...imma have a ball, hope y'all have the perfect date for the day, if no ones asked you out before then, just spend the day loving you and getting to know you better, you just might love it more...ciao!

4 comments:

  1. 1st! Again! send ma gift! will be back to read.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ist...to read
    I couldn't assimilate much...except the shopping part. Hope u r a size 1/2 cos I want some of those red dresses!

    you'll be fine, the commercialization of the day is annoying, I agree...

    ReplyDelete
  3. 3rddddddddddd...I try...ee don tay and I get exam...lemme go read sha..

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ok...so no loving this vals???????

    ReplyDelete

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