who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

no title..

Its so amazing, male, female, somehow the abstract things we do in everyday life, somehow represent those things we do on the outside. I’ve been thinking a lot this past few days..not the suicidal thinking that makes me want to commit suicide, nah, more like the one that makes me want to slap my head and wonder why i bother been human..lol. I’m sure many of us can relate to this, especially the ladies in da house. just another bunch of randomness here.

-forcing ourselves into outfits that clearly don’t fit and buying them, a size6 when we really are a 10. Twice I’ve forced myself into a pair of jeans, twas true religion and a Victoria beckam rock and republic respectively. Did i need new pairs? No, i’ve got dozens. But cos i was getting them for half price i just had to have them, size is nothing but a number yeah?...except when your crack starts to show and you can hardly walk in them, then you think twice about size..lol
Or sometimes i walk into a shop or look in the car trunk of a sales persons, there lies beautiful pairs of shoes which are too tiny for me, do i walk away? No, i buy them and keep cos no one else should have them if i aint got them.
It got me thinking of all those times we’ve found ourselves dating a guy cos he’s a cutie and oh so hot and popular even though he’s such an arse and derives pleasure in cramping us up with his dull sense of humour. We stay just because we don’t want anyone else to have him. we look for the perfect guy on the outside and bask in the attention cos of the labels of ‘such a cute couple’ while inside we’re dying to breath, we cant walk well and this huge blister is building up, plus our arse is on fire from being held in too tight.

How about those carrier bags we carefully put aside after a day of shopping in a choice store, like say Harrods or tiffanys or Barneys...... Or tiffany amber or...you get my drift, we spent mad money in the shop and the next time we have to carry stuff out we grab a hold of those bags amongst the pile of top shop, dunes, marshals et co...Like oh its nothing. we shop there like everyday and we don’t care, don’t know what to relate this to...maybe name dropping? We happen to coincidental bump into some celebrity and next thing we’re talking like we rolling cool with with em and are all that together, post the pictures he agreed to take with us all over face book with tags like ‘rolling with my man diddy’ or maybe one night stands and we talking like there’s a relationship with the poor dude, we just wouldnt let live it alone

Or the guys who are clueless when it comes to cooking, when they step into the kitchen and try to slice some tomatoes/meat like a pro, only its a blunt knife he’s using, so you don’t get clean smooth cuts, instead it gets all squashed up as he keeps attempting to slice with the knife. and i tell ya that kind of slicing hurts the most, imagine it on your skin.
Guys...*sigh*...they break hearts, its normal, but some of them are so clueless or well maybe just mean souls, they don’t just break it into two, na, they try to slice it with a blunt knife, in the process squashing it and letting it splash in different directions, making it so difficult to mend. I mean if its broken into two, you can get a glue and put it back together in no time, but in pieces, it takes ages like a jigsaw puzzle, maybe you might miss a piece when rearranging the jigsaw, thus you’re left with a very bitter woman to deal with.

....Or when youre eating some nice,extremely delicious extra hot chicken/goat pepper soup and you get the sauce splashed in your eyes when you try to cut the somewhat tough meat...you scream in shock/pain, rush to wash the fire outa your eyes, but would you push the plate aside when you’re out from the bathroom, the affected eyes still red and barely opened? no you pick up from where you left. I see that as being in a relationship that’s abusive but so steamy you don’t want to let go, you heal from your hurt and grab the plate back ready to wash the eyes again if another accident happens, why cant you just leave the food and move on, you can always eat pepper soup another day..lol

...Or eating garlic cos you know its got this healing/healthy thingy, but the end result? Well you’ll stink all day and people would turn their nose up when you speak. Think sleeping with a man for fendi bags, a car, shiny things et co. The effect may be beautiful, you’ll glitter in diamonds but you’ll stink so bad to yourself, and others, material things cant buy you class can it?

Spending hours putting on makeup that looks like you don’t have no makeup on..nude make up. This is so funny i mean the time we spend making up so we can look like we’ve got no make up on is WOW, well i’ll liken this one to gushing on and on about a guy and all and all and that and this for hours to our friends, holding the phone and willing him to call, and when he finally does, we take our time to answer or we talk like we’re not interested or thrill our selves out by not answering at all...yes its fun, but sometimes its annoying, just say yes to him and save both yourselves time. The sooner you start dating and realise his an arse and its either he's one for keeps or for dump, the better. I mean if you want to look like you’ve got no makeup on, then don’t wear any right?..

...Or those mothers who sterilize every single thing for their first babies, i swear if they could sterilize their nipples before breast feeding they would. Its so annoying, i know how many times my head was almost bite off for using an unsterilized spoon for my niece. But the second child, i get shouted on for taking too long ‘dont bother with the sterilizer, just bring it’ or we don’t even see the sterilizer anymore, its lost somewhere in storage...
The first days of relationships, the chasing phase where you’re treated like an egg who must not be bruisesd or cracked, when the chase is done, no one cares, you could break, we’ll just stitch you back up. Annoying. I love those days of extra tlc. The gifts, the romantic words, the....

Or drinking cold water, glass upon glass upon glass, feeling full but so caught up in the whole freshness of the water we cant stop, before you know it you’re so full you can harldly breath, you have to unbutton your jeans to be able to breath.
See we have to take a pause when having too much of a good thing, relax a little before devouring more of it, cos if you don’t, you'll have your fill soon enough and all you want to do is walk away from the source, take time to breath. We dont want to be too full do we? too much of affection poured on at once makes for clumsiness and soon enough the one party gets tired/irritated..

29 comments :

  1. babe, this is one hella long post. Will be back to read later.

    just wanted to secure my position before afro gets here.

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  2. whattttttttttttt??? prisca upstaged me...ok 3rd..will read later just spot marking :)

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  3. I see I'm FIRST TO READ!

    1. No need to force yourself into the jeans, just mail them to me. ok?

    2. Nude makeup is great, i.e if your skin isn't all that great, sucks for u if you have spotless skin :(

    3. pepper soup rocks!

    4. i'm outties!

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  4. true talk :)

    i like this...and that make up thing has been an issue with me for a looong ass time..lol

    that and clear nailpolish..im yet to get that...

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  5. i really dont know how u always manage to hit the nail on the head everytime its mind bugging!! ur analogies are soooo bang on!!!
    lol about the jeans!! true spk~~and the pepper soup..y waste good pepper soup??!?!?

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  6. i really dont know how u always manage to hit the nail on the head everytime its mind bugging!! ur analogies are soooo bang on!!!
    lol about the jeans!! true spk~~and the pepper soup..y waste good pepper soup??!?!?

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  7. i get a size 6..its a tad small while a size 8 is too long....

    peppersoup is the ish but i stick to fish.....

    first tyme...one is cautious...with EVERTHING not just motherhood.....

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  8. I really dont understand abot the cloths thing myself..I bought a size 12 top then said ok, cos I am gyming i need a 10..return the 12 and i can hardly breath in the 10...

    the bags...lmao..i've got to stop it...i just have to...

    As for the boyfriendssssss..i am the one usually with the fine fool!!!

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  9. my own major problem is getting outfits (mostly gifts) that are too big! but i do have a size 6 skirt that fits but obscenely so! give it out or sell it? nah! i'm hoping i'ma fit into it soon...lol

    but tell me how one "gyms" one's feet?

    ur analogy about guys is so tru!

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  10. wow!funny post but true..esp forcing ourselves into smaller outfits...the shopping bag too!

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  11. you had a lot on your mind here

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  12. "Chilling with my man diddy" that is so funny and the fact that people actually do this is even funnier. I guess its a class strugling social climbing scenerio. Well written girl, hope youre doing okay

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  13. this post is not random at all, its packed full with philosophy and deep thinking.

    lmao @ "post the pictures he agreed to take with us all over face book with tags like ‘rolling with my man diddy’"

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  14. in this sequence of riddles there is so much sense lol

    the things that women have been convinced to do to look good

    mindboggling

    well at least you don't have to spend 50,000 dollars on scraps of metal put together to try and get a woman lol

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  15. It is comforting to know that we are all afflicted with the same neuroses.

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  16. wow, this is alot of randomness!! I can definately relate to buying those shoes even when we know they are too small! They never have my shoe size at Aldo's, but I can never resist. So I just go ahead and voluntarily put my feet through torture..the things we do,

    Afrobabe sent me the link to your page! Im from Benue too:-)

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  17. Impressive....as well as thot provoking...I like definitely coming back again oh...u berra update soon oh...

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  18. lmao...funny post...i most related to the garlic issue-can you imagine?-my dad used to make this carrot and garlic juice and try to persuade us to drink it for our health...considering that my dad was reeking of garlic, i could not bring myself to imbibe the drink...health vs. being a sweet smelling woman...hmmmnnn...

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  19. lovely post darling, read dis b4 but ma lazy ass didnt leave a comment!
    wut if i say i am not guilty of any of those? i'm not saying i'm not guilty, i mean, wut if i said that?

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  20. lol at bumight.lol at this whole post. i must say im guilty of over half of that

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  21. were u trying to sleep and cudn't or something?
    and I am guilty of buying shoes that were too small but were on sale

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  22. I didnt get to read this post until now and girl, it makes so much sense.
    So much sense.

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  23. fantasy queen. YOU HAVE WISDOM. wonderful post

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  24. this girl, why u dey enter our minds like this now?

    i buy shoes, big or small cos i like them and they r just there. i buy clothes, whether big or small, cos i like them and cant let them be.

    and those bags? i have a special drawer for them.

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  25. shit! girl u hit the nail on the head.
    but i agree with DL, what if i say am not guilty of one of those things..lol

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  26. hmm deeeeeeeeeeeeeeep stuff!
    You have spoken!!!

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  27. Gosh dis could have been me……I mean writing dis…it mirrors my exact sentiments

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