who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Happy thanksgiving!...

I thought to do a thanksgiving post that really means something to me, not because I got tagged to do the 7 things to be thankful post like last year, but because I realize how lucky I am although I fail to recognise that fact sometimes. It doesn’t matter that most times i claim to be satisfied and happy, then i discover more wants and needs and thus feel like I’m sad and empty…..theres always a bunch of stuff to be thankful for….and I’ve got everything to be thankful for all year round every minute. Of course there’s no stuffed turkey and overflowing table, but then we nigerians know how to celebrate thanksgiving all year round, its either this aunty is doing a thanksgiving or that uncle or that friend, and we all dress our best, go to church, then go home, eat, drink and dance to stupor…..

Heres to thanksgiving….and although there are a millon things to be thankful for, theres still a zillion I couldn’t remember, my 101 things to be thankful for

1. That God exists.
2. my mom, my source of inspiration
3. my sisters cos they’re my sisters,they’re the best
4. my nieces
5. my brother, for who he is. My personal prince charming
6. my family, because as much as we’ve a dramatic crew, theres always the love that binds.
7. For blogville. Blogger.com is a home away from home, a place where virtual friends lurk as we click away our words, and there we are, maybe having coffee at starbucks, or in the tube, or at work or the mall, we’re always just a click away from knowing someone across the atlantic knows what you’re going through and knows the right word to sooth a situation
8. Second chances, for healing and restoration
9. Pilates

10. Cell phones
11. Cameras
12. Wii
13. Blackberry….yes pinging away all day long
14. my ipod
15. ray charles, Sinatra, muddy waters, nina simone…..old school music, cos they define the real essence of music, they are the soul of beats and rhythms, and soul massage.

16. notebooks, plain and empty, waiting for me to scribble words down
17. the internet…well cos it’s the internet
18. oreos
19. ice cream
20. Opportunities and the will to grab them.
21. Deola sagoe
22. Joe at strands and Mabel at touch of glamour for those wonderful hair days and Turayo.
23. the sound of my nieces playing and just being sisters
24. Handbags…it doesn’t matter if I have them or not, I just love to view them
25. cold rainy days ,staying home, a hot drink and a good book
26. laughter and the fact that i can laugh at myself
27. carrie bradshaw…. For the wonderful life of sex and the city
28. shoes
29. prayers, those moments spent in prayers

30. yahooza chicken and massa in abuja….
31. fura de nunu
32. chocolates
33. cerealac….
34. yellow chilli
35. Spas and the days spent there….
36. Those hideous drama series that i cant help but love/watch cos I get a chance to be self righteous for a reason…gossip girl…ewww,
37. Sherly temple movies
38. Freshly laundered towels
39. Theatre @ tera kulture…
40. Fudge cake
41. Moments when everything seems so clear in my head and breathing in and out is so easy
42. Days I forget the pain of hypermobilty like today and yesterday
43. Ice cold coke on a hot hot day
44. Tesco coconut cake
45. Lip gloss
46. Christmas and the giddy joy I inevitably feel just because of all it brings family, food, drinks, gifts warmth laughter and love….perfecto
47. Andrea borceli
48. generators, lets face it, thats mans greatest invention especially if you leave in nigeria
49. movies…from the cheesy musicals to the gangsta speaking
50. poetry reading

51. those moments when I try to write some ryhmes and it comes out stupid and I know it doesn’t mean I’m bad at writing poetry, I just don’t know how to put the words down right sometimes:) talk about denial. lol
52. Winnie the pool, that sweet honey sucking bear has taught me lots of lessons despite its dimwit self…
53. maya angelou
54. for the ability to be tolerant…I haven’t broken a windscreen in anger….yet.
55. when my niece gaby calls me baby aunty joy
56. or her sister Steph’s wannabe big girl attitude and her questions as frustrating as they be
57. road trips that are fun trips and not too long :)
58. Pancakes
59. Tyler Perry

60. those days in lagos when traffic is light, you can actually feel the breeze on your face when the windows down and your driving
61. I cant see into the future as badly as I want to and the fact that I know i wouldnt know till the future is my present its a blessing in disguise
62. Books….
63. Confession of a Shopaholic series, as embarrassingly chiclit as it be, I’ve learned a lot from Becky Bloomwood on savinging which is basicly nothing, but she makes me feel better about myself.
64. Jeans
65. days that were good at work….like before the market plunge
66. daydreams, my ticket away from the chaos around me without actually loosing myself
67. La senza
68. For friends…those who genuinely are, those I met this year that’ve been wonderful, and even those who aren’t so genuine
69. For a breakthrough, no matter how little it maybe, in my quest for self discovery

70. That I’m not every woman
71. For the mistakes I’ve made for they’ve taught me the greatest lessons
72. For safe trips all the times I went off on a journey somewhere.
73. For family..did I mention that ?
74. Friendly smiles.
75. For flowers, I may not be the nature freak, but everytime I receive flowers it makes me feel special and loved and……..
76. For those old time drama series, cos they’re just about something….cosby show, little house on the praire. Look what I’ve got now…gossip girl
77. That the world can move on despite the diasters of the year
78. That Obama’s finally won and now loads of people would be able to prep ourselves with just thoughts of look what he did for himself and the world can shut up already with talks of him...he really isnt that sleek,
79. That I’ve got the comforts of life, life at its nearest perfection and I’ve been able to remember that others would die to have mine those moments when I wish to have someone else’s.

80. For facebook, a place to explore when seating in one of those waiting rooms, or waiting for your labs or ….working.
81. Books on quotes
82. Sunday mornings when I actually meet the praise and worship sessions in church.
83. For discovery, things I’ve been able to teach myself
84. Enid blyton and the grimms fairy tales…for they’re the platform that I climb in my bid to runaway to childhood. Now whats there this days? Instead of fairies and gnomes theres harry potter and witches.
85. For the days when I call myself stupid and still feel great about me
86. For Bumight, cos she was mad i didnt thank her on my facebook note and because i'm really thankful i'll finally get to meet my cousin this christmas.
87. for my job, i know how helpless i feel sometimes when i'm off work, although i crave for those moments
88. for wii...oh right i've mentioned it before, well i'm thankfu for american idols and godfather on wii
89. jill scott

90. heaven
91. the beach
92. holidays
93. christmas trees, cos as the lights come on, so do the dark shadows in my life seem to come alive
94. church, church, church, and the chance to fellowship
99. I ‘m thankful for being me, who I am and no one else, because I’m the best person that can be me and no one else
100. for life
101. for the chance to be thankful….

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

eko elle

was having a conversation with a friend of mine struggling to make a decision about moving back to lagos or staying put in the states. like him i used to hate lagos years back, but now, i'm a changed apostle. I LOVE THIS TOWN. i might not be the social butterfly, not making friends and all but i love lagos.
decided to repost an edited version of some reasons to love eko elle i wrote a while ago.

lagos...a city of possibilities, where little men too can become big, where hard work and relentlessness pays off, where hustling has a nice ring to it, where little children dare to dream and realise their dreams, where westernization comes to life in the midst of the rich representation of africanism....well, simply put, where everything is possible...sort of...em... whatever but lagos is one city that dazzles and puzzles me, gives me thrills inspite of its frightful nature, you just can't hate but love to hate love it, i constantly have this love hate relationship with it.

the traffic is frustrating, but hey, sometimes you can't help to just love it, especially on those days where you're surrounded by those handsome cute dudes on all corners in the flashiest cars ever and you can't help but look up to the heavens and bless God for his creations... but then again, the hot days which just seems to grow hotter the more you turn up your ac, then to top it off, those area touts try to scare you and rob you of your favorite gadgets by hitting on your window hard and threatening to unlease hell on you if you don't comply(by the way, when did this touts start finding their way to the island?)and of course u have to comply cos u're stuck in a stagnant traffic situation.

the unpredictability of rains that just pours on your plans for the day and although it cools the weather, you're still stuck in a standstill trafick. urgggh.

I like to compare lagos to newyork city and i wouldnt be wrong to do that....lagos has got a blend of everything newyork from commerce, finance, weirdism, to culture and entertainment filled to the brim of extremity. i love it. the mainland is my brooklyn and the the island my manhattan. and like most newyorkers would rather die than move from brooklyn to manhattan so would lagosians rather die than move from the island to the mainland or vice versa.

the night life is so craziliciously fun, theres nights out in lacasa/number 10/auto lounge, where the mix of nose in air sorts and honey glazed spoilt richyrichy live in their illusion of have it all perfection....left to me, i think its highly overrated, people just go there to be seen, buying drinks at the most outrageous prizes in the whole of lagos, and then we all drown in the sights of fendis and guccis and louis vuitton floating around, my best moments there is trying to figure out whos' with a fake, whos really honey glazed and whos just a wannabe, whose purse would have a heavy setback for the rest of the month after the showy night out in la casa/number 10(bcos you've just got to be seen there) and whos won't even bulge...you've just got to love the craziness...and oh...not to be hypocritical, some of those honey glazed silver spoon daddys assets on my forehead fellas actually do look appealing and maybe even know how to light my fire:). then theres bacchus/caliente which i'm not too enthusiatic about because i'm not a crazy club hopper,picolomondo's cool too, bungalow. Soul lounges got its appeal, although its a little lost on me now,churrasco the brazillian resturant/bar just gives you the thrills always and the electro music rocks too,boat clubs also cool especially on those days where the water is calm and you just loose yourself in the sight, the boat rides in those luxury boats are crazy..., newscafe...well thats sort of like a viewing ground for me, don't pass any comment, i'm a sociologist(well in name)and my job is partly to observe/study people, and so i sit in newscafe, solo, cup of hot chocolate and just stare at the troop people and marvel at how some members of my species could be so shameless and obvious, i fly solo, not enough to make me look desperate or enough to welcome any unwanted guest, just a girl seating out alone with her drink....
posh cafe's sort of cool, fabolous ethnic meals at yellow chillis and jevenik, good thai food at reeds on awolowo road, classy dining at sky resturant eko hotel, good enough chinese at pearl gardens, marcopolo and errrr......you get the point, theres good food.

Theres the wonderful events, the muson and terra culture keep you culturally entertained, taruwa and anthill, naija's own def poetry jam happens here in lasgidi, fashion shows that blow my mind....theres just so many places/things to do to unwind in lagos the list goes on of the hangouts and events but all in all you always have a good time in lagos, it caters for the rich, middle class and poor, to have fun to the limits of their status. how could i forget the music, lagos is home to the music revolution happening in the country, they may be from all over nigeria but they're here, right here in lagos, you've just got to love the music. lagos, a city viewed by some as a wonderland, you go back to anywhere in the world with a nigerian community and say"i'm just back from lagos" and everyone looks up to you like you're from the centre of civilization and you hold all the answers to the newest trends back home, the melting pot of everything nigerian, trend setter of the nation:)...it ought to be so, with the talented designers springing fort everyday, from tiffany amber, deola sagoe,lanre da silva, jewel by lisa, bespoke, to mya to zelua... you just go on and on naming them...

And the scandals, i love the scandals, the gossips from the soft selling gossip magazines which no one admits to buying but sells out every single week of publication(just checking out to see if your name entered the big girl catergory or if the bribe you offered was enough to get your new car mentioned,don't you just love city people as much as its pretty annoying) the social events, the much anticipated polo tournaments, which is more of a fashion event than an energizing sports event, the award shows....aw...don't you just love the city of relentless possibilities...everyone wants to have fun in lagos and everyone gets fun in lagos. can't remember why i'm ranting about all this....oh yes, i was trying to convince a friend how not so bad it is, and well maybe myself too....somehow i'm begining to want a little bit more of abuja.ciaociao

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

old fashioned mommy!!

I love my mom cos she’s the most unassuming person in the world. Here I am trying to write something about mom, I’ve got my mushy mushy love song playlist on itunes ‘I honestly love you ‘ by Oliver newton john is playing now, but rather than think of some dream man singing the blues to me I’m thinking about this woman, whose love has been strung together and worn like strands and strands of pearls and diamonds around the whole essence of me.

My mom is your ‘fashionable old fashioned’ mother who isn’t so new school (I must not be misunderstood here). I define old fashioned in terms of the little things she wouldn’t bother herself with like the internet, her friends exchange email addys and she shamelessly says ‘I don’t have one’ she’s got one though, one she’s never signed in to. What’s the point anyways? She’s always got some child to do the dirty work of the internet for her. How fortunate she is, never to get addicted to stuff like facebook and Google and Gucci sites, instead she’ll relax in bed after a long day with magazines and books we recommend and she’s happy to discuss them with us if we want, and how excited she gets when we want to talk about the books of back in the day i.e those by wole soyinka and chinue achebe….

Momma doesn’t care for sending text messages, she loves to read them, and don’t see it as rude when she doesn’t reply, she just can’t be bothered with sending a tedious text when she’s not even bothered with emails, she would rather call which suites me better, cos the sound of her voice everyday is like an embrace in the warmth of her which is pure translates to pure bliss.(she was forced to start replying sms recently though)
The woman loves to shop, and the best thing about her is her unassuming nature, she wouldn’t settle for less of what she sees as best. She knows good quality over brand names. So although she wouldn’t dish out names of designers when it comes to bags, she holds the best of them ignorantly and when i point out a name, she looks on lost and says ‘don’t know, bought it the other day from so and so’.  how many people shop that way these days, purely because they like an item and not because it’s a designer and they’ve just got to be seen holding it? She shops for the design and quality, not fad…. Don’t get me wrong, she knows her jewelries well,and perfumes and her creams, but the bags and shoes names are the little things she wouldn’t sweat about, as long as they're of the best quality.

She’s my mother the one who’s always believed in giving us the best of things, not because she wants to show off, but cos she genuinely believes we need the best of everything she can give or why else would she plough the earth so hard?(that statement is to point out how hard working she is) Thus I’ve owned things beyond my age, and she’s happy, not because people would point and talk, but because its what she can give me.
I love my mommy who’s old fashioned in most things modern except love…

Friday, November 7, 2008

and then there's the uzoma okere's story, i first heard about her from the office driver on one of our unauthorized parol, i assumed it was the normal, 'them say, he say' untill i saw the video.
God help us in nigeria.
i know if it was me...all hell would be loose and those souls will be screaming in there by now.
hopefully the law will stand supreme in this case despite the rank of this so called animal whose convoy was allegedly disrupted.
Lagos state governor fashola has promised to foot the legal fees of the victim.
click on ireport to watch the footage, not clear enough or long enough but it certainly shows enough.
guardian , punch to read some more.

if it was a guy, then as inexcusable as it is to beat a human cos he wouldn't clear the way for you i'd understand. but to beat a girl up like she was some piece of rag and even have her clothes off...thats inhumane. especially from naval officers. i remember how i always imagined they were the gentliest of all the uniforms.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

is saying No wrong?

when is it okay to say NO?
is it ever okay to say NO?
why is it so hard to say NO?
humans are so complex i get so tired of trying to fit into the system of constantly displeasing myself so i could make others happy just by saying YES so i can avoid saying NO and getting the disappointed look.
truth is i hate to share.
yes that black dress looks so gorgeous on me, that's why i bought it in the first place, so let it remain where it's supposed to be, on my body and in my wardrobe, don't try to borrow it off me.
or the white top with frills and laces
or jewelry
or perfume...
no i'm not selfish.
but if we're going to move in the same circle then don't wear my things and i'll stay off yours,
its different if we both have same outfits
hell no, i hate it when we go out together and we've all got the same scent just because...well obviously we've all used the same perfume.
but of course i cant say 'no, don't use it', or 'no i cant give you' cause i'll be seen as mean and selfish and ...

back to what brought me to talks of no.
a friend called me today, she needed a loan. i so wanted to help her cause shes my friend, i would have been willing to give her half the amount or in full and write off the loan
but right now, i have a lot of commitments on ground added to the expenditures of the past month, its wearing me out.
there's the pledge i made, that cant be left hanging.
i just came back from a staggering holiday which set me back.
theres the spa membership with venivici
i made a pledge i haven't redeemed to a charity org
and a bulk of my liquidity was pushed into the stock market because prices are at their lowest and this happens to be the best time to buy, and i cant sell a portion of my stock like i usually do when i need money cos that'd be at a huge loss.
and my major account is funded but not with my personal funds, my sisters sent me some pounds to change(and dang what a loss, 198 from 226) and keep for a stuff they're trying to get for mom.
i noted the disappointment at me in her voice, although i didn't say no out rightly, its difficult saying no, i just kept listing my commitments,
it felt like she felt i was being mean and selfish,
but i really cant.
i hate it that i'm being made to feel bad and even guilty.
i wish humans were more understanding.
i hate being said NO to,thats why i hate to ask, but when i do, i know how to accept it gracefully, i would tell the person who cant assist me 'its okay, i understand' even if its not okay with me.

my weekend was good. the bookclub meeting was alright and the reading with Ekene Onu was a delight, shes such a likable lady and her book 'the mrs club' is such a bite of fudge cake smeared with vanilla ice cream...okay not that orgasmic, not even near there, its just a book that's fun to read, well not really fun, just a readable book. its about three Nigerian ladies in Atl sexy and scandalous titi, sweet and smart amaka and sharp and savvy minna. most girls would find a little bit of themselves in those ladies.

mr E's house party was good, for the twenty minutes i dropped in there i had fun. left just before majority of the guest began to arrive. i couldn't be tempted to stay back,rushed home to shower and dress for my dinner. opted out of wearing a dress.
used my deola sagoe high waisted pants and a black oxygen top, green heels and sliver accesories. We went to auto lounge after the marcopolo dinner. Fun fun fun, and one of my ages past crush got drunk and tried hitting on me....(gross, where were u when i daydreamed of me and you with white picket fences?)
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