who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Excuse me, Please, Thankyou.

I love being prim and proper through no fault of mine, i didn't rehearse it, i was raised to be it, to say thank you after every meal, to smile politely and listen to people talk, i don't really care about tasting the wine(or pretending to)before actually drinking at dinner tables and the whole formalities of life. Of seating up and holding your head up like some trader with a basket of yams balanced on her head.

I have prim and proper buried in the dept of me, that's why i cant be loud in public(probably why i'm such a talker in the comfort of home),that's why i smile politely and say "no thank you" even when i really want that last piece of fudge cake on the plate. That's why i protest politely when you want to pay for the groceries for me(sometimes o). That's why i say "its okay" when i really want to say "sod off mate", that's why i say "don't worry about it,i'll drop you off" when you go on and on about how late your driver or boyfriend is, when all i want to do is hurry home and crawl into bed, that's why i really invite you to eat with me when i really don't want you even having a taste of my spicy prawns, you saw how much i paid the delivery guy, you heard me calling in to order, go get yours.
Polite can be boring. You say thank yous and please and excuse me's even when you dont mean it.
I speak with an accent, i hear. its just my northern heritage, i've never lived anywhere else to get my tongue twisted, but how can i have an accent northern or wherever when i don't even speak hausa? They tell me i sound funny when i speak broken/pidgin english...."maybe you shouldn't bother speaking it".
"Whats funny about my broken english?" I ask. When they don't find answers to that question they just say
"its not polite". They mock me for not pronouncing names well. Is it polite to mock? Someone should tell them its not polite to mock. I cant tell them myself you see, because i'm too polite.
Polite is boring, that's why sometimes i love to let my hair down(my new hairdresser choped a chunk of my hair off, so really i mean this literally lol)
That's why when i walk out of debonairs sometimes i embarrass my friends, i ring the bell that says to ring if you had fun. i do this especially on days when there aren't any kids, i do it at night when responsible adults are politely having pizza. I ring it when my hair's down, and if its not loud enough i run back in and ring again...you see i think its not polite if the bell doesn't ring loud enough to disturb the peace. I'm impolite in a polite way.
i'm polite when i accept to go on a date with you. i'm polite cos i feel i owe it to you for being so nice. but then i don't show up for the date, i don't even call to cancel at the last minute except you call to ask if you're picking me up....you see, its polite to call and cancel, but i just don't care about polite some days, because my hairs down on that day. being a girl helps to be impolite.

i stand in front of the atm machine beside the one my friend is using and announce i'm a human atm to the next person who wants to use it, but i get polite and say "sorry" as i step aside, it doesn't matter that he enjoyed the show and wants to start a little chat up with me.
Or i hoot back at the thugs(agboros) or bus drivers when they catcall at me "ahhh, sister you fine" or make kissy noises when in traffic or walking through the market, i scream back at them "come marry me"...its not polite to keep quite when you're spoken too:)
Even when i insult...in my anger, i'm polite as i write that mail, there's "sorry to bother you but....."
Oh, sometimes at night(not anymore) i flash my head lamp bright and drive very close to the car in front so that the light bothers the person driving, its not polite... but polite is boring.
I'm sorry, but i love being polite.

Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN

13 comments :

  1. You do what at the atm??? lmao...

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  2. u chopped ur hair? seriously!
    And i am here tryna grow mine to APL!

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  3. lol...yes please what do u do at the atm??
    looool!

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  4. so what part of ur body will accept the ATM card? lol

    polite is boring yes, but unfortunately it helps peace to reign.

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  5. Then i admire that in you...please take it as a rare virtue...

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  6. prim and proper or prime and proper?

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  7. @afrobabe..yes i did that...shocking!!1
    @chayoma...i'm too faint hearted to actually chop more than my heart can take. so its not that bad, sort of a page boy kind of look. hopefully it'll grow soon.
    @faboulo-la lol
    @uzezi...what part of my body? uhmmm, i didnt think to think about that..lol
    @rethots. thanx
    @rita, thanks and i will
    @anonymous...my bad,prim and proper.

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  8. wish i could say i had a polite bone in me

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  9. Well i guess i shall call you miss polite!
    Oh i love Obiwon!

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  10. Oh, I can relate! I wish I cud yank out the polite wires in my head and be like you LOL!
    Anyways, loved the post. Thank God for Blog Therapy :-)

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  11. u did that at the atm.nd my frnds tnk i'm mad. wow, u sound lyk u r mad fun when u let ur hair down. i likey. letn down one's hair can b ril crazy, i once climbed these 10-12 ft high bars in the faculty. i seriously felt like. so i did it. my frnds screamed. lol
    i wish i cld b polite tho, i've found that i'm not, most times i can't help it. even when i think im being polite, my friends say no tnat wasnt polite, that was downright cold.
    i don't care tho.

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  12. silly gal!...like my grand-dad will say, u sound like a fun chic though.all these places u describe...seem coded.i live in las gidi and iv not been to a lot of them.

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