Cute Cute Abu.

Abu was the cute little boy who I had a crush on, he was light skinned and skinny, he had his daddys face with that pointed nose of the fulanis and his mouth was like his pretty mom's. We were 11yrs, and we hardly ever spoke. I would go to government house and turn my nose up at him while he brought out his camera to show off and ignored me in return, then I would look at him with the side of my eyes and silently wish that he'll come over and play as I sat holding his mum.

Cute cute Abu, didn't see him years after the military regime, but my mum did and from cute she recently started to say 'handsome Abu' and i would think, my cute Abu is now a handsome man and of course we'll live happily ever after, with cute looking fulani children:) I was so sure I was going to meet him again and we'll laugh about our stupid childhood drama.

Well Abu will be buried this afternoon @ 2.30pm according to moslem rites. Abu died this morning.
Rest in peace Abu.
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Dine and be Wined

One of those parties in one of those 'houses' in ikoyi. Its not a large party,its sort of intimate, a select few from this afternoons launch. we're seated in the beautifully lit garden pretending to be beautifully civilized sipping on champange(juice in my case) eating weird looking meals(you know me, i love the food n somehow i'm not ashamed to be proud of it at this moment...go astoria caterers, go, keep bringing em)
well maybe the rest are civilized, all major oil company MDs,and huge HUGE financial dogs(not bankers if i may add, suddenly no ones courting the bank mds anymore) ministers and cooperate gurus and socialite mamalets spread all around. And such great host we have. When i grow up i'll have a garden party of my own and i'll be the perfect host.

And what do you know, the soft drinks have run dry, but of course the champagne can never be out of supply, thats even scandalous to think about (Moet what? Nah, thats for the lower class bourgeois, ).

*gasp* is that a girl in bum shorts? The nerve of her, tainting the glamorous nose in air gathering with such a wear, i mean look @ FQ shes all glamorous in her bla bla bla dress, hair packed up like a little princess from zango kataf that she is:) and she looks so at home in the garden, oh the cameras had better stop clicking before she goes blind, no really she loves pictures but not this much, shes not as proud as the peacock shes wearing on her earlobes.

Oh isnt that the Md of something something seating just beside her And something something of so and so oil company?Ahh shes such a mannerless something something something, worse than the bum shorts lady, how in d world can she be bb'ing @ dinner? Socialless butterfly.

The life bands good, the musician just called us to "please dance on the floor" "dont be shy" SERIOUSLY? Where else are we expected to dance if not on the floor? The tables? why not just ask us to up and dance? well some italian's on the floor dancing, so i guess he made sense to some.

dont get me wrong, it isnt all bad, wait, it isnt bad at all, i'm having fun. mingling with the rich and famous who arent about the government funds, well not completely about the government funds that is.....i just want my mates all around me so i can snigger and giggle and not bb and feel like i'm a spoilt child cos thats the way of the young world today works, and my mates understand that(i may love bb'ing, doesnt mean i dont get peeved by it either).

Been binging on deserts and soon, i'll have to get up and mingle, shake hands with board room alligators i've met before and those unknown in that firm grip i've tried to learn, laugh like a lady and not a girl when they ask me "what do you do young lady" and i joke "i'm a retiree" and they laugh and think i'm such a sweet witty young lady, and of course i give the laugh of the lady. Sip on my juice thats such a scare resource, nod knowingly at their conversation and pretend to choke on something, my tongue perhabs as i walk away when they ask my opinion on the present banking reforms or something intellectual about nigeria.
Its not all bad afterall:)
Happy thanksgiving.
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the turkeys arent thankful:)

Another thanksgiving has come…..you may feel you have nothing to be thankful for, but the fact that you’re alive at this moment and reading this is enough to lay on the floor giving God all the glory.... common, don't snort at that, i mean u have internet or a blackberry to browse with. how many people are out there with no internet *gasp* or blackberrys * double gasp * or phones that have browsers *triple gasp out of breath*......so yes, do the chicken dance. you've got stuff to be thankful for.

We should be thankful everyday, the fact that the Americans put a day aside doesn’t mean we leave thankfulness to just one day. so i'll defile them and do my post a day before:) now thats clever. 

Well there'll be no stuffed turkey for me, but theres a lot of stuffed vessels filled with thanks in my heart. he really has been good, especially at those moments when i have felt like i've been cast away, i have truly seen his goodness. i could do another thanksgiving list, but what's the point, a zillion things wouldn't make it to the list cos well, sometimes we just don't realize those little things could have been huge disasters and so we overlook them. i try to imagine myself sometimes in a place where some are, that place that drives them to stand on adeyemo alakija at night, that place that dissolves shame as they stand on the road begging, i cant even begin to. Thank God for his grace.

we’re doing a video shoot tomorrow(i was still working i did be thankful its a public holiday) and I’ve got an office warming in V/I, so its going to be busy and fun I hope. Then I’m off to Abuja then Makurdi, my family is having her thanksgiving on Sunday. It’ll be fun being home.

It’s funny how at such family thanksgivings we hardly think of what we’re being thankful for, its all about the preparations. Theres the caterer, the invites, the this and the that, and the right color for the aso ebi, bla bla bla. and in my case, the food (i mean theres 2 venues for the reception and i've asked who the caterer for each venue is so i can drift to the place that'll suit my needs most)So many things taking us away from the real reason for the celebration.

I wasn’t bought a new lace to wear for the ocassion like my granma,sister,my mom and her sisters . So I’ve sulked about that , whining about not having anything to wear to anyone who dared ask. till some days ago when  I stopped to be think that I’ve got a suitecase full of laces, some never used more than once, why cant i use any of them? My ungrateful heart just forgot to see what I already had, it was all set on showing off. I’m thankful for the fact that I've realized that i really do have and I feel so sorry and spoilt for whining and grumbling(well it sort of paid off, i’m picking mum from the airport and rumor has it that theres a new lace in her suitecase for me) I’ve been blinded with the preparations and all the glitz and show offs of the event that I haven’t truly thanked God for what we’re taking friends to church to thank him for. its been a good year.

I’m so thankful for my family, for standing by me, especially in those moments when I've acted like a spoilt child, even at my temporal moments of insanity they’ve believed in me, and let me be, not pressuring me(although I still feel the silent pressure) I’m thankful for the friends that have been supportive and given me laughs, for those who have prayed for and with me.i'm doing a thankyou project, writing a thankyou note to my family and everyone whos impacted my life positively this year. thats the best i can do to show how much i appreciate(well theres always a first class ticket to wonderland, but i'll pass on that, they'll appreciate the notes better right?). i'm thankful for my blogspot fam for sticking with me through the years. I’m thankful for my renewed faith in God and the chance to worship him in spirit, I’m thankful for the confident hope I have in Christ Jesus. All in all, i'm just thankful. 

Have a blessed and wonderful season, and as we come to the end of the year, its time we stop grumbling and start thanking, for in our thanks God showers more blessings, lets not be like the 9 lepers who didn’t bother going back.

P.S.. i'm thankful i'm not a turkey, not just any turkey, an american turkey. this season of thanksgiving and christmas must suck being an american for them:)

Fighting the past...

"...And no, I ain't perfect - nobody walkin this earth's surface is..." Jay Z, Bonnie n Clyde

now that’s the absolute true. we've all made some major mistakes in life. but hey thats the beauty of God,he gives the grace to rise up above our mistakes.

I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, things that somehow come back to haunt me. You know when you think you’ve scaled through your past all jolly and dandy, it somehow comes right back to bite you in the backside. No matter where we run to or how far we move, the distance of oceans and mountains, changing of addresses and names doesn’t keep the past away, it’s the past and its part of us one way or the other it finds us in the little hole we bury ourselves in cos its just got to have a taste of that butt of ours and Like misery the past loves company, and so its just going to haunt you down so you can keep him occupied, talk about those good ol’ days you’re running from.….

So the sooner we stop feeling sorry for ourselves and making excuses for our actions and past mistakes and start taking responsibilities the better it’d be for us,. By accepting the wrong and learning from it, we’re able to deprive our past the right to bite us in the backside. All you’ve got to do is take it by the collar, shove it against the wall ,like in the movies, but make sure you’re pumped up with steroids or else it’d just shove right back at ya(note steroids here is literal, more like prayers) 

Anyways you take it by the collar and confront every single bit of  it. No holds barred(well that’s pretty tough) and you might break down in tears even though you’re feeling like a toughie in a bar fight, but the tears makes you so human and makes it feel so right. After the confrontation(oh my, I love this part) you shove it on the floor, dust your hands, and like the movies, adjust your collar and strut away(or add a twist to it, adjust your lipstick and catwalk away)……… now that part I like. Purrrfect. Bye bye past, bye bye secrets. Hello future………

My past survived a major titanic like sink and found me, there I was stooping to pick up some bits and pieces of my porcelain life and just like that I felt the pain in my backside. And well..i think I re-enacted the bar fight scene real good and just before i adjusted my lipstick, I stooped and bite it back in the butt for good measure, not a nice taste but pay back’s a bitch innit, I just couldn’t leave it without it knowing what it feels like to bite a lady in the butt.…fight clubs got nothing on me...nada. i'm bad!!!!!!

lesson learnt....

don't be quick to pat yourself on the back........i resisted the loveliest pair of purple platform sandals recently,purple is a favorite color of mine, i mean you should have seen my legs when i tried on those shoes. but i walked away, and my friend was so shocked, she even discussed it at the alpha group meeting.

Dr Okey Onuzo preached on being content some weeks ago, i left church that evening feeling renewed in spirit and ready to battle out my greed and want for more clothes, more this and more that.

i told myself i was content as i walked away from the shoes. i was proud of me and even though i've dreamed of that pair of  shoe for days now, i've been commending myself on my new found self control when it comes to shopping, after all my account is more or less the color of the pot at the end of the rainbow, i don't need the extra drama.

so today. i was sleeping peacefully in my cool room, glad to be indoors on such a hot hot day, the only thing taking me out is the shooting for celebrity takes 2,if i make it that is........i woke up at mid day, had breakfast in bed... well i wasn't served breakfast in bed, had to go whip something up for myself, but i had the breakfast in bed, so that counts as an 'awwwwww, how sweet' factor:) i served myself in bed.......sooooo romannntic.

then the call came in, this 'friend' just got back from brazil, i'd been hoping the call wouldn't come, but after my shoe resisting escapade, i knew when the call came i'd be able to resist the pull of temptation to buy, well so i thought, the call did come, and  i decided to humor her,and let her come home with the goodies, i'd uhhh and ahhhhh over her lovely bags, tsk my tongue at the brazilian weaves as i smugly tell her 'lovely things but sorry I'm not interested' and i would smile in glee at her shock that i would even think of punking her.

well she just drove off, i uhhhed and ahhed over the bags, shook my head at the Brazilian weaves and walked away and i'm back in my ac'ed room and still sweating,NOOOO i did not just pick a bag costing 20times more than those shoes(now i'm thinking i should have saved myself the trouble and picked up those shoes).  I couldn't let it go, there it was shining in its labeled leather glory giving me the puppy dog look and i knew i just had to take it. its funny cos as much as i love the bag, i dumped it in the laundry room with a pile of dirty clothes as i ran up to the room. not sure why i dumped it, probably self denial? not seeing it might seem like i didn't actually buy it. how could i? i haven't paid so i might as well return it, she wouldn't kill me would she? but would my life be the same without it? i've seen me use it with a dozen outfits already.

brings me back to the topic of self control and contentment Dr Onuzo preached about. he says we try to be godly, live godly lives,be better people on our own accord, yes self resolve does work but not enough to scale you over that hard pull of temptation. you resolve never to drink anymore and its fine, you do a good job at it, smugly announce and tell the story of how long we've stayed off drinking till you're out somewhere someday and everyone else is drinking and you're bored with your lime and soda thus you say 'oh, just a little vodka wouldn't hurt' and you end up being drunk..... the point is there's always something that'll take you back to a broken habit if you break on our own accord.

 the only way to overcome self and be a better person is by knowing you cant do it on your own but by the power and help of the holy spirit. when the spirit controls, its easier to overcome temptations, you laugh at those temptation in the face and waltz away

I was so proud of myself i forgot to thankGod for giving me the will to resist the lure of senseless shopping/spending. i went around smugly telling my story and claiming that i had changed. i didn't actually ask God for his spirit of wisdom and strength to continue in my resolve to break that habit.

i have been humbled, i've learned a lesson, an expensive one at that. but its a lesson learnt and i'm glad i learnt from it. now to return or not to return? that is the question. 

The single married man.

He’s everywhere you turn. He haunts you; he taunts you, he’s the new species of men available. The single married man

He’s that young handsome dude who’s wedding was splashed all over recently; yes they one you screamed in despair that you missed and envied the lucky ‘idiot’ who nailed the hot brova you always admired and hoped would notice you some day. it brought the crème de la crème of the society to a standstill as they all gathered round to bid him a happy married life. But you’re just in luck because after the honeymoon, he came back to town and he’s single again.

He more than before hangs out at his best mates penthouse, drinking Champagne, eating buckets of take out chicken wings, watching football on the 500inch TV, and playing PS20 on the larger than life screen with the boys. Belching on beer, scratching crotches, ordering pizzas and playing some dbanj’s ‘bad’ at the highest on his bang and olufsen speakers, with no care in the world.

“Its hard to be a married man” Ak droned as he tries to pop a bottle of Champagne, “you just cant give up being one of the boys with your boys, i ain't giving it up for no marriage you just cant leave that behind, life’s got to move on as it was.”(yes that’s a typical response)

Of course he has his ring glittering in all its 94k gold and diamond glory as he steps into the clubs/restaurants/lounges/ churches. Looking all pimply cute in some vintage Armani suit. But that doesn't stop him, no the ring is just another statement piece of jewelry, like his wristwatches.

He loves his wife don’t get him wrong, or well he feels something close to love for her, and he’s fulfilled all righteousness to self, society, family and the girl he dated for 3years by putting a ring on it( I’m doing the beyonce single ladies hand move here), and yes, she’s already pregnant, that’s an extra something something for her, what else does she expect from him?
(that’s why I feel so sorry for all those girls that scheme so hard to get the boyfriend to propose, they weigh him down with so much scheming that he has no choice but to get on his knees from the weight and propose……oh, you’re so toast)

Now its time for life to go on for him. He meets you, dates you, he takes you to the movies he holds your hands in public, he sleeps over, sometimes he even goes to church with you. But wifey never gets to hear about it, shes probably shopping in some country or too tired from taking care of the baby to notice he isn't home.

I might have spotted him a couple of times holding some damsels hands at picolomondo, but I’m all muddled up, was that really him and a mistress? (or girlfriend as he would correct me) I thought he got married two weeks ago? Or maybe its his sister or a business meeting. You never can tell these days, I try to make myself believe that maybe it really isn’t what it seems to be. But it is really what it looks like.

He’s the perfect boyfriend, the perfect husband, father and son in-law, The perfect married boyfriend and he’s the plower….in all the clubs, at the bars, the churches, the shops, well dressed in all his swagger, he’s there watching, flaunting the ring cos that’s what gets him heard, he’s the threat to the genuinely single guys(aka the unmarried single man).

You say ‘well the ladies must be stupid to still date him’ I agree with you, they’re stupid to remain with him after they find out he really is married and he really isn't leaving her(for those who had no idea from the start,90% of them know from the start),

The girls agree with you that its stupid but then where else would she find such a manly man from? Yes the single married man is as manly as can be, because he’s been molded by his wife, his swagger is tighter, he’s taken lessons 505 in the workings of the female mind from his wife, I mean he’s got to have had something to offer(outside money) for her to get married to him in the first place, he’s been screened and past the test of being manly by his wife, thus he’s just perfect for the single ladies, they don’t have to waste time giving him lessons, he’s a ready made man. He knows just what to do and say to make the single girl sigh, hes got lessons on intimacy and saying exactly what she needs to hear. He’s well glazed, honey glazed I mean, and he’s taken the scene, he’s every woman’s dream…….he’s the single married man. BEWARE!!!!

This leads me to saying, if it ain’t love then don’t do it. You can force a man to wed you but you cant make him be a married man or stay faithful, except he’s such a God fearing fella.

Adesuwa Onyenokwe of TW magazine and today’s woman’s show inspired me in one of her articles on her 20th wedding anniversary, about how she’s never had to deal with the issue of other women(yeah yeah some might call her naive for that thought, but somehow I believe cos I’ve seen their relationship although from afar and it makes me sigh).
She thought his faithfulness had to do with her trying her best to be a great wife and bla bla bla, until she asked him why? and he said he made a decision to be faithful right from the start and he worked at it to ensure he wouldn't fail regardless of temptations, now that’s something. He obviously wasn’t forced and schemed into marriage:)

You can be the best wife there ever was, cook, clean, scrub, be superwoman with a cleo patra/Helen of troy or a domestic loving goddess with some sort of seductive powers,or such a faithful student of cosmopolitan, its not enough to keep him faithful, its got to be an effort on his part, a vow between his spirit, soul, body and his God. Just like Job. "I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl." Job 31:1

Through all this talks of cheating and all I have to remain positive and believe that when I FINALLY get married it will based on love and trust and Godliness, and hubby of mine will be a genuine Married Man.

Celebrity takes 2

Spirit of David's "Celebrity takes 2"(naija's edition of dancing with d stars/strictly come dancing) is back, bigger, more exciting. Season 2 is tagged "war on the dance floor", dont miss as nollywood battles the naija musicians, starring dakore, stella damasus, fred amata, yemi blag, fathia balogun, yinka davis, obiwon, kel, faze, zaaki.....
CT2 airing times are DBN:Wed 9.30-10.30pm; Sat 9.30pm-10pm. STV:Sat 9-10pm; Wed 3.30-4pm. HiTV (Nig): Sun 7-8pm; Wed 7-7.30pm.AIT:Sun 6-7pm,Wed yet to be confirmed.AfMag & HiNolly (Eng) will be confirmed later. Spread d word, Let's get Nigeria dancing.

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Waxing it out!

Whoever invented waxing has got to be a foe of the female folk. I mean its mean man, after the first strips been reaped off, all i want to do is run off half waxed to pick up my shaving stick. But I end up enduring it with very teary eyes:)
Cos in the end,I love the relief I get from the soothing gel and I love the smooth feel of my legs.

But we just keep going back to the waxing table despite knowing how painful it is because....well its like childbirth, you're in labor and you curse and spit and regret ever having sex, till you push that little bundle out, you see its face and its all worth it,you forget the insanity of it all, and then you find yourself having sex yet again...:)

The end result of waxing is great,like the end result of being in labor, but the process is hell.

Lifes like having a good ol' wax, to achieve your dreams sometimes, you go through difficult situations....but you have to keep striving, bear the pain and frustration cos in the end it'll be all worth it, you'll get a nice clean out shiny skin(life), run away halfway and you look like a lunatic.

we've got loads of people roaming the streets with unfinished dream projects just because they're not tough enough to endure after the first challenge....if only we could just clench our fist and bite our inner lips and endure it all till its over...if only. Then life would be better.
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