who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Saturday, February 13, 2010


I can be your hero baby……..
Watched the original version of superman some months back…….after all these years, I finally realize how sort of stupid it is, in a good way though. How fair is it for one man to take responsibility of the world on his shoulder, move rocks, advert rockets and still act like a nerdy goof…..puuulllease, today? There would be synchronized forming, showing up everywhere and pulling muscles just to get the chics and threatening everyone with broken necks if they dared mock or talk back at him,
And how cheesy is it that superman could do all that and more but was not able to save the one he loved? But of course he had to have the power to turn back time to make things right, spin the earth a few hours/minutes backwards to correct stuff. The guys such a joker, and he calls himself a man? I mean he makes mistakes and he has the power to turn back time to undo them. I call that cowardice. Be a man, face your mistakes dude and learn from it.
And yeah right, they had to make him so humble…”don’t thank me, we’re all a part of the same team’ whatever dude!!!! today he’d say ‘where’s my national honor’ and I’d be the woman beside him demanding to be recognized too ‘her super heroness, the wife of the super hero and defender of the federal republic of Nigeria, chief, dr mrs fantasy queen superman’
The movie gives a clear answer to the desperate question that has plagued the mere mortal male species for eternity. What do women want? It tells you something that rings a little true…..we want our own superman.(serves the men right for creating such a character that man can never measure up to.)
yeah, I guessed right, you cant stand the truth fellas, you ain't no superman, and we want a superman. Why do you think the ladies keep mute and act stupid when you want to know what she wants? They know you can never give her all that, thus she spares you and keeps mute(yeahhh, I broke the code, I’ve said it)
If only we had some man flying to our rescue every time we burst a tire, broke a nail, had a bad hair day, got caught up and off in traffic, struggled to get into our two sizes small jeans. A man who’ll turn back time for us, especially when we’re two minutes late thus we miss that gorgeous dress on sale, he’ll spin the world so we’d be there just as the shop is opening and grab it in every color before the herd of other crazy ladies come in…..and of course one who’ll take us flying up to the clouds at night, to view the beauty of the milky way up close, or something like that(. Remember the scene when superman took the lady out from her balcony? Yeah something like that we want) and if you do this minor things, then life would be better. . we wouldn’t whine as much, we’d be more of the angels than the whining puppies we tend to be sometimes.
That’s what women want dudes, but don’t worry we know how hopeless it is to wait on this faux idea of reality from you,thus we’ll do with manipulating you into getting the little things we want….like gifts that’ll wow our mind for valentine, even better is making you release the credit/debitcard, I’m sure it can do the job of superman for a minute :)
I’m sulking on my crushed illusion of superman and gearing up to accept men as they really are. Helpless creatures who can’t even stand the pain of the monthly cramps and might commit suicide at the first pangs of labor pain hits them or at the mere waxing of hair
Fellas try making up for not being the superman she wants and tie a red bow on your credit/debit card and hand it/them over to her for an hour or two without flinching….now that’ll qualify you as some sort of superman(we don’t care how you’ll cry later in the night at the thought of paying your card bills) like nike says….just do it.Hopefully y’all dating reasonable beings who understand the economy and like j’lo ‘their love don’t cost a thing’
don’t get it twisted, love is a beautiful thing especially when its done and said in an all consuming wholesome and genuine way…. Accepting ourselves for who we are and not what we own.
“He loves me.Even when I fall beneath His will.He loves me. When my broken heart just won't keeps still.He loves me. Even though He knew sometimes I'd fall. Yet and still my name He called. He loves me. Jesus I'm so grateful for Your love…” he loves me by kirkfranklin”.Good thing Valentine falls on a Sunday, what perfect way to start the day….Spending it with our first love and the lover of our souls.
Happy Valentines Day.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Broken and beautiful: The lonely path…….

The lonely path
(i know i did a nasty job taking this picture....a thousand apologies to photographers worldwide)

She walks down the lonely path,
No one to wipe the tears in her heart,
No one to walk along with her,
And soothe the fears that plague her…
She looks at life through her broken heart,
Making everything grey and dark,
Alone, with her life changed forever,
Starting life anew on nothing, but a prayer….
Life is never ending, and so she walks on,
Hoping for a better tomorrow, she walks into the dawn.
Someday, maybe this path will not be lonely for her again,
But she'll never forget this lonely walk and this pain.

I love this line "Starting life anew on nothing, but a prayer…."
I don’t consider myself so lonely anymore… I don’t consider myself stuck in the dark and scary planet of my mind anymore. I’m a big girl now, I’ve matured spiritually, physically and emotionally. I’ve found God and that’s put me in a place of rest beyond what any human could ever offer.
Mayii of shutterchance gave me this picture. I saw it on his blog two years ago and fell in love with it and might have manipulated him to dedicate it to me:). It was a sad sort of love… but it pierced right to the depths of me, nothing explained my life better than the path and the write up that followed. I wrote the post ‘fighting the past’, to show how hard but necessary it is to overcome past failures and mistakes, I fought off all my past demons that led to my ‘na devil moments’ I got broken in pieces dealing with this past demons, but i have been broken and made beautiful by the master builder himself, i would never have become beautiful again to myself if i didn't get broken.
Gods grace has released, redeemed, and restored my ashes for beauty. I’m so beautiful from within that its on the outside, reflecting in the way i choose to live…
I may have challenges, but the beauty in me makes me happy going through it. I love easier, I smile easier, I forgive easier… I’m friendlier to those I frowned at, I’m a beautiful person inside, thus I see no reason why I shouldn’t dance like no ones watching, sing like i'm in my bathroom, dress like its my birthday, laugh like i'm the funniest person and praise God like i see him face to face… all because I've been broken and released into beauty.  I'm no longer the girl in the lonely path.
Mayii had an exhibition in December tagged 'YAADEIN: Memories of Years Gone By' at ikoyi, I could only attend for a few minutes on the opening night. Beautiful work it was, and my hopes of purchasing one was dashed when i sighted the price tags:)... yeah blame it on the recession.

After the exhibition, Mayii brought my favorite picture to me as a gift. I’m keeping it as a reminder of how far I’ve come, and how lucky I am to be out of that place of soul despair, and soul imprisonment that I dwelled in for so long. I'm obviously not where i want to be, but the beauty of it is that I'm not where i used to be.
I took down the painting in one of the living rooms and fixed this up to imagine how it’d look like in my future home... I like love.
Check the original piece out on MAYII's blog.
Thanks a lot mayii… God bless.
And to all you tortured souls out there, stop holding back, you can only get beautiful again if you've been broken.... and we all know Gods the master breaker and builder.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

dance dance dance

celebrity takes 2 season 2 is over. it was fun while it lasted, although i didnt get to attend or watch as much as i should have....
yemi blaq was the champ..... good for him, he danced so well considering his size. and hes such a sweet,poetic and intelligent MARRIED young FATHER. he deserved it. (yeah i had to warn all the ladies, i hear they've crazy about him)

dance is serious business as i got to learn. its not easy and i've got a new found respect for dancers, especially the nigerain dancers. the 'celebrities' should be commended too, from the rehearsals i got to attend, all i can say is, if it was me, i'd slap my instructor out of frustration and walk out of the show. spirit of david and the ijodee group did really well. they got me questioning myself and my lack of talents i.e dance skills.
Thus i'm taking dance lessons. well thats what i said during the show, i arranged with one of the span ladies for private lessons. i've just been busy, in and out of town and maybe just a little bit lazy to follow it through.just the thought of driving to the dance studio in ikoyi gives me a headache.. but i will soon. shes going to teach me salsa, hiphop,ball room dancing, contemporary dance and all the fancy names....not like i really care about tango or ball room et co. i only love mentioning that i'll be starting a private dance class for the effect. maybe i'll get to follow it through.
it was fun backstage....the comedians that gave much laughter(i.e fred amata),i just loved to seat and entertain myself. lots of young talented people i got to meet from makeup artist to dance instructors, to designers. here are some back stage pictures from the few times i showed up.

day one...cameras were not allowed into the hall, i stole a shot:)
rapper kel, obiora obiwon and fathia balogun. i didnt know who fathia or kel were till the show. i think fathia really prettys up when she smiles.obiwon
stella damasus and Dakore. i love this picture. if ionly i was the type to get star stuck or i was a nollywood fanatic i'd have it blown up and placed on my bedroom wall:)
stella and her dance patner wale......he took her dancing all the way to the top three
faze and folake....i loved the burglar concept they used for their breakdance
fathia balogun
kel and her patner francis...the zoo keepers in the house.
yemi blaq and his patner funke, shes one hell of a creative dancer...took him all the way to the top
obiwon and his patner lillian. lilian is one of the most driven and creative person ever. and shes a great dancer too...unfortunately, they didnt get to stay on for as long as i wanted.
fathia and buddy....ready to break the dance

one of the presenters Ben...hes so hilarious. this was the breakdance i think...
Fred Amata... now this one was full of laughs
obiora obiwon....
clowning around, yemi blaq and Bimbo Akintola
everyone came in with bands...thanks to breakdance
obiora and lillian...african contemporary dance
kel and francis

yemi blaq...the champ
yemi blaq and obiwon

zaaki and bunmi
the delightful Yinka Davies.
fathia balogun buddy
bimbo atintola....one of the presenters

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