who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Terms of endearment.

When it comes to addressing your fellow female friends what are the rules?
I was going to write a birthday message on a 'friends' wall. There's something about the facebook birthday reminder that makes you so guilty when you don't wish a friend happy birthday. Cos its all up in your face.

So I clicked on friends profile and read wall posts from different peeps, most I knew for a fact weren't so close to her.
Happy birthday love
Hey angel, happy birthday
Hey sweety, baby boo,gorgeous(yeah right),dear,precious,sweetheart, Darling, lovely........
Oh how I hated it, but I joined in and wrote "hey love, happy birthday"
She isn't 'love' to me, she's just plain Mary Jane to me, I haven't seen her in years and I'll probably be uncomfortably mute 90percent of the time we spend together if we happen to bump into each other at a school reunion.
Like I'm sure a couple of others who wrote 'sweety' on her wall would. The same way I'm not really 'love' to most of the people who write on my fb wall.
Somehow writing just 'happy birthday' or 'happy birthday Mary Jane' sounds so cold, same time writing 'love' feels so insincere.

Guys with fellow guys is just a simple and sincere my guy, dude, chairman, O boy......happy birthday although they're guilty of using terms with girls. Some guy from nowhere going all " hey baby' on me....argggg
Girls have to make it so complicated. 'Hi darling' *Kiss kiss, cheek cheek* drinking in a jar of perfume as you perform the ritual of greetings.
Guys just slap their backs and move on.

Do we really need to use the terms of endearment with people we're not close to? I mean if our friendship doesn't go beyond some cluster group or mutual friends, then we shouldn't bother faking it. Can't we just give a sincere smile and at least a hug without soiling it by adding a term?
So don't 'hey love' me. I think its patronizing,there's always that undertone of fakeness and superiority to it that just chokes my guts.
Too bad sometimes I fall in the wagon of the endearment abusers...on the moderate though.

And like I said before, never trust anyone that says 'darling' all the time to everyone.
Alright darlings, hope you enjoy the rest of the week ;).

Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN
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