who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

murder she wrote


Murder she wrote.
Yes i assault her every once in a while or ever so often but i didn't kill her....i promise you that. I have been an accomplice to various attempts on her life. I'm sure before i finish writing this post, i would have stabbed her a couple of times. It just happens, i have no control over it, but even with all the contempt i have for her, I'm too softhearted to do the actual murder.
Doesn't mean i don't have murder on my mind most times.

You see, the sheriff comes in the person of my sister, in the medieval days she'd be the knight of the 4th order of perfect English, she might even have been the personal adviser to king James when he translated the bible :). Her weapon against the villains of the language securely strapped to her... the dictionary, it's her sword, it's her pistol, it's her ak 47, her defense against us.

Thank God for auto correct on computers, or else, i'd have succeeded in killing the language, and oh dear, i'd be sentenced to life in a dictionary. The horror of it.
I don't care about punctuations, i don't care about spellings sometimes, or constructing sentences(when it doesn't matter) and most of all, i don't care about the big words.... i know what it means, doesn't mean i should know how to pronounce it, i know how to pronounce it doesn't mean i know how to spell it.

I really don't care that I'm seen as a villain sometimes, although i think its unfair to label me that, i mean, i just stab her enough to draw a pool of blood and that's all, a clean nice slice, I'm not like those who actually butcher her and try to suck out her blood. Common, i can construct a sentence or two or four without using any auto correction and i can read a book without referring to the dictionary. My brain translates the words to mean what they ought to mean in the context of the book:)

I've got the English police snooping around me every once in a while, detective sister is there, waiting, ready to whip out her dictionary from her duty belt and cuff me, until i save myself by saying the right thing or I'd be laughed at to a state of ignominy( see i'm not so bad, i can use the term ignominy in a sentence).
You know the lines used for arrest "you have the right to remain silent...bla bla bla" well the detective, sheriff, knight of the English language's line is " baby baby, with all the novels you read...bla bla bla" and the laugh and amazed look comes after the sentence. Oh what shame.

Its all tiring sometimes, this English of a thing, makes me consider doing an actual murder on her. It doesn't help that we live in the times of abbreviated words, and one liners of twitter and text messages and bbm. smh
As long as you know what i'm about to say, or what i meant to say, then i can't be bothered. I wouldn't participate in spelling bees, and i'd rather use my simple words, I've got "hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia"(so maybe my best friend "Google" helped me spell this) but i know the meaning, do you? See, i'm not such a mean ol' villain to the English language.

I may be accused of writting murder or speaking murder, but i don't snuff the life out of the language, i have respect for life, so i assault it with care. Especially when i have an english enforcement agent in the family, and there i go on twitter and i see my fellow english villians trending with care, because there's a 'gbagbaun' mopol in town. i cant even spell the gba something, let alone pronouce it, but i refuse to be booked for that, its not an english word is it?

Murder was the case and they blamed me.....

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Thankful...

Don't you just want to hate people that can't let a 'thank you' slip out of their mouth? Don't you just want to strangle them and take back that little act of kindness you've done for them? it could be something as big as giving a present or as mundane as saying 'bless you' to some who just sneezed her heart out. All i want is a thank you, but its obviously too much to ask. Thus i get angry, and probably write that ungrateful person off and promise myself not to do anything for him/her...ever again.
photo credit: dontwannahearit.com

Well that’s how we act towards God, but thank God he is not man to fume and react and write us off the same way we do when people fail to appreciate our acts of kindness.
Just imagine sleeping and dreaming of breakfast…agege bread and fried eggs, or pancakes and scrambled eggs, whichever side you belong to…you’re all warm and cozy under the duvet, dreaming away, oblivious to every other thing. While the one who never sleeps nor slumbers is watching over you, protecting you and making sure you come to no harm during the night, and then you wake you without a “thank you for today”, not even a nod of acknowledgment. All you’re thinking of is the breakfast you dreamed of. #fail

Think of how warm and fuzzy and good you feel when someone hugs you and thanks you for doing something for them,
when your boss commends you and says “well done”
When your mom gives you that smile and says “thank you”
When your dad pats your back with a soft look on his face, that means 'thank you, i'm proud of you" when your nieces or kids hug you and give you a big kiss in appreciation for something you’ve done, which of course is nothing close to all the goodness God gives us… think about how nice it feels.

Well God is a God who has emotions too. He’s a God of love, he’s a jealous God, he gets angry, he’s moved to compassion. If he has feelings too, don’t you think it saddens him when his children fail to acknowledge him for his blessings? Imagine how warm and fuzzy his heart goes when we smile and scream in joy over something he’s done and say ‘thank you lord’ or how his heart melts when we weep for joy and fall on our knees just to say “thank you”, or when you dance your heart out in a dance of thanks giving saying ”thank you for all you’ve done.”


There’s every reason to thank God for everything at every moment... i mean you're reading this now... you could be blind, or lying dead in some accident on your way home, or connected to tubes in some hospital, or too poor to afford internet, or living in some village with no idea what the internet is, talkless of a blog.
I thank God for my hair, its not as long and silky as some lady dancing between trees in some India movie, but its full and beautifully short.
I thank God for the family I was born into, we’re not the bill gates or the Dangotes of the world, but It couldn’t have been better.
I thank God for moments I’ve been afflicted, for if I didn’t go through the trials how would I have known him as my provider, my comforter, my healer, my friend, my helper... the good God.

I read somewhere  "if the only prayer you say is ‘thank you’ then its enough."

My mom takes appreciation to the next level. She would buy gifts and make you feel you did worth more than you did. It gets embarrassing and annoying some times. But she's a woman who knows the secret of showing appreciation. It sets you apart from the crowd, you're remembered and more doors are opened to you, cos really i would love to do more business with one who's showing me gratitude in such a grand way..
Same way, it's not just enough to say thank you to God with our mouth, we need to take gifts or offerings of thanksgiving to his house to acknowledge his lordship and appreciate him. And of course he'd get all mushy and send down more blessings our way.
Show gratitude to God today...

And happy thanksgiving to those celebrating.
X

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Talk True.

The fact sometimes blinds us from the truth.
I tried to get a definition of 'fact' and 'truth' for this post. Well the definitions by the English gurus and intellects do not serve me well for this post. Some would say they mean one and the same, but my stand is they're totally different.

In the face of the truth, the fact bows out gracefully...well not always, cos sometimes we don't stare the fact down hard enough with the truth, thus it laughs us in the face and keeps tugging at our hair.
Right now i stand against the intellectual men and women of the world and say the two are different. I define fact as the obvious, whats in sight, whats real, our reality. And truth as a belief that can't be seen, one that defiles logic. And of course God is El Emet, God of all truth, thus his written book,the bible is a book of truth...my iLumina bible encyclopedia says this about the truth
Truth is always timely; it applies today and in the future. Because it is connected with God’s changeless character, it is also changeless. Think for a moment about the centuries that have passed since these proverbs were written. Consider the countless hours that have been spent in careful study of every sentence of Scripture. The Bible has withstood the test of time. Because God is truth, you can trust his Word to guide you.
The truth messes those around you up.... they see what they see but you tell them what you see, which is a different vision from the visible. And that's why they say "she crazy". well its a good kind of crazy. call me crazy any day and i'll happily do the alanta dance as i hop off the fact wargon to my chariot of truth.*shrug shoulder*

God is a God of truth, he defiles logic, and i can imagine how he laughs when he messes with our brain and we stand in awe at how he managed to do what he did when he did it, in the face of the obvious facts. He's badddddddd. He can like to do effizy. Jehova el-effizy, God of all swagga. #thatisall

The fact is, the doctor just gave you a hard doze of facts to swallow, you've got a truck load of drugs in your house to prove, cancer, a hole in the heart etc....and this part i love, the truth cruises in, in that LR4 and in it lies the words that defiles all logic"....by his stripes you are healed"

The fact is, you might have been a notorious armed robber just yesterday,  or a prostitute some hours ago, or a drunk and druggie of the decade last year... but the truth is all that doesn't matter anymore,despite how all the self righteous people, the spiritual snubs of the world still look down on you. The truth is even if you've been in the faith for a second or 30 years, God sees us all the same and "....you are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus" Stop the self condemnation.
The minute you run into his arms and ask for forgiveness, you're set upon the high place, at the right hand of God....the story of the prodigal son best describes this truth.

It doesn't matter if the fact stares you in the face with all the reds in your bank account, and you have no idea where your next meal is coming from, how your rent will get paid, if you can continue in school because of lack of tuition... the truth says "....my God shall supply all your needs according to his riches in glory".

The fact is, your doctor has written your womb off, there's no way on earth you can have a baby, well stand on your truth, the truth that says "...there shall not be male or female barren among you..."

The fact is, the death of a father or husband is such a hard fall in life's journey. Even though we all jump up and move to destiny's child 'independent woman', we know how important the men in our lifes are. nothing can beat the love of a father, the love of a husband. and so the fact is your head is gone, and you wonder how you'll go through it, how you'll survive, how you'll raise the kids alone, how you'll go through school without daddy...but the truth is he'll comfort you through your heartbreak because he's the "...comforter" and he wouldn't live you alone when you recover and you're smiling and living again, he has said he is "...a father to the fatherless and protector of the widow..."

the fact is you have a dream, bigger than any one of your friends have ever dared to dream, you wonder if its a realistic one. Don't give up, for the truth is "...i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me".

The fact is you're in that place of brokenness, everything that could possibly go wrong has hit you from the left, right and center, Satan's giving you his best shot, and you wonder if you can survive it. Fret not, for the truth says "...we are more than conquerors through him who loved us"

The fact is you're heartbroken, cried out and in despair, jilted, lonely, sad.....the truth is there's loads of laughter out there for you for "...do not grief, for the joy of the lord is your strength".

The fact is that you're hitting forty and still unmarried, people are whispering behind your back and its beginning to get to you, the truth is he's already said "...none will lack a mate"

The fact is that your marriage is going through a storm, it looks like its on the highway to divorce. The truth stands true in the face of that fact, there's a peace and stillness for your storm, there's the best counselor you can ever get for he is  "...wonderful counselor, mighty God, everlasting father, the prince of peace"

The fact is you've been laughed at, a butt of joke among your peers, your family has given up on you, no one thinks anything good will ever come out of you...the truth is "..the stone which the builders rejected has become the main cornerstone."

The fact is that you feel worthless and unloved, wrecked with guilt and a sense of condemnation....the truth is you can never be to bad for him to stop loving you...there is one who loves you more than any human can"...his love endures forever" and the greatest truth of all is this truth of love in all extremity, hes given his precious sons life in exchange for yours, so you can become a better person "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life"

The fact is, the year is coming to an end, half of my expectations as i expect them to be haven't been met and i'm this close to being worried sick...but the truth has stood in my face and sent the fact running with tails between legs, right now i've told the fact that it can like to "chew grenade"(i've always wanted to use that slang..lol). My truth is God always comes through. We don't call him the God of eleventh hour for nothing, and in Rita's words "Jehovah suddenly" that's why i hold on to his truth that says "..be anxious for nothing"
the truth also says where there is a barricade, where i feel like there is no way forward...he makes a "...roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert." Thus why worry?



When you get rid of the fact and hold on to the truth by faith...then you're in.
One prayer i recently learned to say is '....thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven" I've said the lords prayer a dozen times not having a clue how deep it is as simple as it sounds.
As it is in heaven....that is, the truth of Gods words contained in his book of truth concerning me and you, as he's said it in heaven concerning my life....let it be on earth. Start ignoring the facts and hold on to truth.


Bless.
x
"...you shall know the truth and it shall set you free."
 
P.S
all the truths contained in this post are excerpts from the book of truth itself, the Bible. Now be good bible students and hunt the books,chapters and verses out yourself.

Monday, November 15, 2010

are you experienced?

I'm not proud to say i'm not 'experienced'. I always seem to miss out on this wonderful event. I got to watch it live on tv last year, i sat in the living room till the early morning getting my praise on, i could only imagine how those at tbs felt. I knew i had missed a mind blowing experience.
This years edition promises to be mind blowing as usual, with a selection of some of the greatest gospel artiste of our time... there's Don Moen, our very own Panam Percy Paul, Ron Kenoly, Fred Hammond, Sammy Okposo, Papa San, Judy Jacobs, Mary Mary, Phil Driscoll, Micah Stampley, Isreal Houghton, Chevelly Franklin, Mike Aremu, HOTR chosen treasures and lots more.

The event has previously featured great anointed artistes and ministers Kirk Franklin, Donnie McClurkin, Cece and bebe winans, Tye Tribbeth, Muyiwa Olarewaju, Midnight Crew, Lara George, Nikki Laoye, Bishop T.D and a host of others


In the four years since its inception "it has become a global phenomenon, the world's largest gospel music concert and the largest musical event in Africa." and the best thing about it is, it's free, absolutely FREE.
you've got to give it up for the visionary who dreamed this up. My very own Pastor Paul Adefarasin
 

well, i might not be a member of House on the rock(HOTR) but I'm an associate member thus i have the right to call him my pastor:)

so have you been experienced? whats your 'experience' experience? you shouldn't miss this one,it'll be better than the previous experiences you've had. You'll experience the greatest experience ever.....okay i'm getting dizzy with all the experience i've had to punch in.


Keep the date free people.
Come hang out and groove with the lord of host. Experience Gods glory like never before, remember "...he inhabits the praises of his people".  Get your dancing shoes ready and come get your praise on, and get the best high you can ever give your self, and whats more, you don't get a hangover after the high and the groove.

 for detailed information visit theexperiencelagos.com

Friday, November 12, 2010

Underestimated.....diamond in the rough

The Greatest treasures on Earth are found beneath the surface,just like they are in you. Dig deeper! ......Tony Gaskins

Do we miss the one by insisting on waiting for ‘the right one?’ is there ever a right one? Have we judged things and people wrongly by putting prize tags on them?

How many times have we turned up our nose and missed a blessing? How many people are left wandering and lonely, unaware that they just missed the Mr. 'rightest' of their life because they weren’t impressed enough with his shoes to say a ‘hey’ to his ‘hi’.

The best things aren’t always the most expensive or finest…sometimes its hard, the pressure of it all, keeping up with the worlds expectation of what you should be like. Your friends boyfriend just got her a prada, you need someone who can get you four pradas and a Gucci… throw in some hard to pronounce French name while you’re at it. You go on a date with a guy in a cab and your friend and her boyfriend overtake in a Range, and have you seen how her boo looks in his suit? Like he just stepped out the cover of GQ, while yours looks like he …well you know the guy who cleaned up during the GQ photo shoot. But that doesn't mean hes better than what you have going for you. The grass is greener till you jump the fence. What you fail to see is, in all his GQ glory, he's not half as funny, courteous, loving and kind as yours.

At some seminar, Pastor Agu Irukwu of Jesus house London talked about a lady who ignored the right guy for so long. Her reason to an exasperated Agu was ‘hes not tush enough’. The untush guy didn’t give up on her, till one day after much persuasion she stopped to listen to the next words after hi, and after giving him a chance, all it took was her buying him tush clothes with his tush money I guess, cos now they’re married and probably the tush couple in church with their tush looking kids. With tush girls envying them.

A girl walks into a room with some dress from primark and all eyes are on her because she looks fabulous, and there you are, unnoticed in your $xxxxx marc Jacob dress. Heavy prize tags does not pass for class, taste or style.

A simple conversation with your driver, cook or security can lead you to breakthroughs, you’d be surprised at the info you can get sometimes by just being friendly.
Remember Naaman the Syrian who had leprosy? And how mad he was that Elisha would suggest he just dips seven times in the Jordan pool to get healed?
He ranted about how they had better pools in Damascus. He wanted some elaborate show of power and abrakadabras and poof, he’d be healed. But in the end, he listened to his servants who persuaded him to obey. He got healed from dipping in the relatively insignificant pool…and note, it was his servants who were his voice of reason “if he would have asked you to do something great, wouldn't you have done it?…..”,  it was a slave girl in his household who told him about Elisha…. if he never listened to his slaves, he would never have been healed.

Most times we miss the voice of God, our sure voice of reason because we're looking up to the sky, expecting it to darken and send out thunder with Gods voice saying 'My child.........'  or some dramatic voice from nowhere saying something to us in the voice of St. Obi in some naija home video:)
He's not a God of show biz, coming through with sirens and escorts and rackets to show hes around. He does things in the less complicated ways....he puts the answers in our heart, that still small voice, or that little child that comes your way with a smile and a word that means more than what the three year old understands. Or that bill board you see for the first time with just the word you need for the moment.

I learned from Naaman's story that not everything wonderful comes in elaborate ways, An aura of some heady perfume with a catwalk to closet outfit and billboard look isn’t always the fairytale dream….the wonderful may just be in the murky waters of the Jordan river, the fashion blind man in his yellow suite, the girl with the not so perfect English i.e “I doesn’t know’:) the dress from the street market.... the advice from the aboki down the road.
I’m still working on myself and the ‘I’m better than you’ attitude’ that sometimes creeps into my head. I don’t look as pretty with my nose turned up and rumpled. You never can tell where your blessing is hiding, like a diamond in the rough.

And that guy whose shoes suck? Give him a chance, he might be THE ONE, and when he is, you’ll have enough time to buy him all the shoes in the world that suites your taste, prada to proda whatever matches his wallet, made in Aba or Italy, who cares☺

Show some love, and discover your diamond.
Bless
x

Monday, November 8, 2010

Unveiled

"I'm coming out
I want the world to know
Got to let it show..." Diana Ross
Lately, i've been pondering about being anonymous. Its been fun while it's lasted.
Why did i start this blog? to say with the key board words my mouth fails to express, every day troubles, everyday thoughts and just everyday. A place to talk without been judged. Of course everything is easier to say when you're behind a curtain....the perks of anonymity. I've had to take out some posts, the more i got unveiled, the more i scrambled about taking off posts like a little coward that i'm not.

I've been the girl behind a veil and its been a wonderful experience, all the friends i've made without seeing or been seen. All the friends i've made and unveiled myself to....

I loved the idea of my anonymity, but then i've realized that somehow people from my everyday world found me online, thus the whole thrill of being the faceless girl behind the keyboard is a little old.
Some random acquantance saw me the other day and told me she reads my blog....  That kind of gave me a shock. So whats the point? its time to draw the curtain and unveil myself to blogville.

The picture was taken by dearest IK Osakioduwa aka Wildchild, we were at cafe vergnano1882 at the palms for a sideview magazine interview with him.
He's such a lovely, nice, interesting, funny fellow, he's one friend i'd choose to have around all the time if given the chance his wife would let him. I admire him much and seeing him and his lovely wife together is always an awwwwww moment for me. Be it out of jealousy of joy.... my heart always melts:)

Maybe i'm that chick you hang out with everyday, maybe i'm the one you saw drive by and you wondered if you'd ever see me again, and maybe i'm the one who displayed some village skills at some restaurant that got you wondering where i was unleashed from, or the one who went ghetto on you.... It's a small small world. Here i am. I'm that chic and i want the world blogville to know.
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