Shop and sensibility
I was going through my archive and I found this. I wrote it when we were trying to get used to the stock market crash and the recession was still fresh in our heads. Today, I’m so free from the shopping delusion, Well not entirely, what I mean is the ‘shopaholic delusion’ I’m now a sensible shopper :)
Living within my means. That’s the easiest thing any sensible person will do. But Sensible speaks Korean to me, thus I go "huhhh??" when it warns me off that pair of shoe. “Speak English will you? Something I can understand. Like, 'that shoe's a killer on your feet' ”.
With the recession, it’s advisable to be frugal, meet your basic needs and learn to save, but I just can’t figure out how I can have the basic needs and leave the other wants out, cos really there’s just a thin line between a want and a need. And who says another pair of black shoes or that gorgeous red dress isn’t a basic need? It could be the one singular outfit that’ll change the course of my life; I mean I might meet ‘the one’ in that outfit. It could be my happily ever after outfit.
What happens if I don’t eat out? What happens if I don’t buy that bag or that jewelry or that new gadget? What happens if I don’t attend that event in a new dress? What happens if i don't go to the spa as often? What happens if i don't have retail therapy? Surely the world will be in chaos.
Someone’s got to understand. Don’t you just look in the shop windows or the online shops(hello bluefly.com,I love you) and know deep in your heart that the items are meant for you? The designer must have had a divine encounter, an apparition of me hovering about in that design, his spiritual muse, thus he got up and made that outfit, just for me, to make me look more beautiful, smarter and richer than I am or simply to make me look ‘fabulous’ like my nieces would say.(even though i cant afford it)
I’ve also considered that if I don’t buy, who will? It doesn’t matter that I don’t need another cocktail dress, but who knows? I’ve got lots of ‘you never know’ outfits in my wardrobe, those days when I defiled the taste of sensible to buy outfits that don’t make sense at the moment(tiffany amber, i break your spell)…but you never know. You might need that Elvis costume at some point in your life.
It is my duty as a citizen of the world to contribute to the world economy. That extra dollar I pay might be all a shop needs to keep it in business. I may be insensible to my senses but I might have saved a life with my days purchase.
But sometimes I get bitten so hard by the red on my bank statement that I rush to the dictionary of life and eat up the page where ‘sensible’ appears in English, hoping it’ll be digested and ready to be brought up like bile whenever I attempt to spend foolishly. Like when bored and window shopping or when that lady calls to say she’s just back from Italy with shoes and I’ll feel bad if I don’t pick anything from her cos she’s so nice and what would she think of me if I don’t buy one or two shoes, after she drove in the horrible traffic to see me.
I yearn for that freedom, the one where i walk into any luxury store with attitude and point and buy like Imelda Marcos… probably why I tell myself I don’t like Hollywood peeps and WAGS that much…I’m just jealous that they don’t have to be sensible in the area of shopping…. why cant I be a movie star or just a star or maybe a wag? why wouldn’t some foreign footballer marry me? Why can’t I win the lottery simultaneously? at 2 weeks interval, in three different countries? America, Britain and verify the authenticity of loto Nigeria….why why why?
With a heartbeat of 250 BPM, I stare at the two thousand pounds handbag as the FADP(Finance Police Department) tactical team rushes out at me and subdues me before i can make a purchase or get myself upset for not being able to afford it.
Oh well I’m living within my means, I didn’t say I like it but I have to, because I hate the taste of sensible bile coming to my mouth, it tastes like sushi and I’m not a fan of seafood. I’m sure someone else will help save the economy by purchasing that bag, God help me its not any friend of mine, cos when we hang out together, have an unnecessary beyond sensible dinner out and she dares hold the bag, I’ll end up been sued for manslaughter (in my head that is), I’ll run her high taste over with my imaginary Mercedes, then to make sure it’s really dead I’ll step out and walk over her with that brand new pair of shoes seating in my wardrobe waiting to be worn, cos it was purchased in a ‘you never know’ moment. At least the shoe will get its hour of fame when it’s used as an exhibit in court.