who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Z is for Zebra Crossing

photo source:www.rulesoftheroad.ie
The stripes of the Zebra gives you a right of way. Once you stand on the kerb, the cars ought to stop. You start to walk and every car waits for you. And that's such a saver, because crossing roads isn't an easy task for me. It is pure chaos especially on extra busy roads, more like especially in Lagos.(I know we don't obey pedestrian rules here)
You can take your time,walking, crawling, running across because it's your right, and if you get hit by a reckless driver who refuses to stop or is impatient, he has the law to contend with.

And that's how life is. We struggle through things,delays, failed attempts et co. It's like having to deal with busy roads, with no way to cross over, every attempt is met with a speeding vehicle or five, it's just almost impossible to try running across... that's why we have to keep walking, knowing that somewhere ahead, there's definitely got to be a zebra crossing. 
The crossing is our season. The season where everything we do is like a peaceful walk across that busy road. There might be cars speeding up on both sides, but we're not bothered, because its our right of way. Everything stops for us, opposition is held back, delays are pushed aside, and what we struggled for before is now just a walk... an easy walk, and anyone who dares to challenge the rule, break that protocol, try to knock us over when we've stepped on the kerb, will have God to contend with.  Because it's his set season of favor, and he makes no room for the devil or his mother in law.

I love how BBC put this "if the traffic does not stop, then you can carefully put one foot on the crossing. This means that the right of way is legally yours, and the traffic MUST stop so that you can cross"
It's that simple, when we come into our season, haters, fighters, lovers... everyone MUST one way or the other stop, so we can cross effortlessly.

It's all about being patient, don't try to cross a road with speeding cars and no zebra crossing or traffic light to aid you, more often than not, you'll get hit, maybe a broken arm or maybe something fatal. Keep walking(praying) till you find that crossing constructed specifically to aid you in your journey to the other side. It's there somewhere, you'll see it, because God has a plan and he works with times and seasons. You'll come into your season soon enough.

****
and Z is for ZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz yup, i'm snoring away. The challenge Officially ends today. Like the lizard that falls and nods it's head like it's applauding itself, i tap myself on the back and commend myself for making it through, Your gifts are welcome, unlike Wills and Kate, i would not be asking you to donate to any charity, send it directly to me.

I'm one of those who thought I'd be immune to the royal wedding. I was wrong, It was so beautiful, i have a lot to say about that, but I'll respect myself, and take care of the palpitations the wedding has caused me. As i snore away with Zzz, i should get some good royal dreams, Prince William might have charmed Kate away, but there's always Harry to crush after, and he's got full hair too, so that's a good bargain.

Friday, April 29, 2011

Y is for Yaba Market


Fresh faced jebby me(well I like to think I was one) got bitten with the yaba market bug many many and i emphasize MANY moons ago. A certain friend of the unilag breed who was a specialist unleashed the bug on me. I got the yaba fever and went on a ravaging spree. I was excited about Alhaja for her relatively cheap makeup,you could get everything and i mean EVERYTHING from her,  Austin for the unique dresses, i tell you if i can find him now, I'm going back to yaba. and the shoes? Mega mad, who wouldn't get crazy seeing all these things for cheap?( wonder where they got their supplies from) …
You can wrinkle your nose and call them second hand clothes, but I wouldn’t give you that pleasure. You know how we do, we do it posh… if it were to be portebello or Camden we’ll call them vintage or thrift shopping or something fancy, and ohhh and ahhh over our flea market purchases... So there you go. I shopped for belts, dresses and I in turn infected my friend from Abuja with the bug and chei, she overtook me in that quest, the fever killed her.
Those were fun days, in those cluttered lanes, I bumped into many a 'big girls' I knew, we just smiled and greeted ourselves like we were in LOP or Collectibles (those were the top shops of Lagos back then) or somewhere that wasn't yaba. The "you’ve caught me here yeah? Whats the big deal?' attitude. No shame anymore. Twas fun and addictive I tell you. I had unique dresses and beautiful shoes to show off those days. I still have this gorgeous blue 'vintage' top i haven't used in my wardrobe.
Only downside was i got cheated a lot. Like i would wear the biggest tshirt and jeans and a pair of slippers to razz myself up, but tsk tsk tsk, they always managed to get the best out me if i ventured out on my own. My dear dear friend would hold my hand and keep me on her leash like it was back in 1994 when mother would hold me tight in the market place. I don't blame her though... there's something about me that makes you want to protect me :)...poor dear, if only she knows how gangsta i can get.
I miss the yaba market days.(is there a difference between yaba and tejusho?) I would spend everything in my wallet with barely enough money to pay for my cab home. It was always worth it though. In those days i got to discover the wonderful tailors that made beautiful curtains and duvets. Those tailors were gangsta, and so affordable, only difference between them and the professional interior decorators is the brand name. I hear the place has been demolished the market. Sad.
I'm proud to say i've matured in Lagos market affairs. I go to Balogun on my own when i can(no, not for 'thrift shopping'), Kubis for her laces, ankara fabrics from further down, hair products and toiletries from breadfruit lane(most of the big shops get their stock from here too), and provisions sold at wholesale prices(a hamper makers haven). It's no longer as scary as i was made to believe growing up. Although i remember going there once with my sister and my friend, and there was this procession of scary looking half naked men with leaves in their mouth, carrying a coffin through the market nollywood style. That freaked me out bad.
Don't get me wrong, I see nothing wrong in thrift shopping especially not in Nigeria.I would go to Yaba today if it still exists. You see something unique you like? buy it. Don't just pretend about stuff and sneak around in your shopping, you'll make it seem wrong and you'll always be watching your back, hoping nobody finds you out and then get embarrassed when they eventually do. Who cares where you shopped at as long as you step out looking fab?
Today I see a couple of Yaba alumni doing big things in big labels splashed on the pages of fashion magazines and I smile, I’m proud of them all, and their secret is safe with me. Even if sometimes they get too snobbish for me,  it's ok, like they say "we've always got Paris", I'll just smile at them from across the room and my eyes will say it all 'we've always got Yaba darling'
PS: I remember when there was this whole issue with a certain socialite and her protégée in the papers, they fell out and so did their secrets, fake chopard jewelry, and secret tejusho market shopping sprees were revealed :) Uhhhhh, the horror of it. lol

Thursday, April 28, 2011

X is for X-ray

I think X-rays are creepy.
I hate having it done, the machines look so intimidating and scary. And there's that thought that the technician doesnt know his job and might end up burning me up or something.

Anyways, what if we could have our minds x-rayed... randomly? Facebook, twitter and all the social networks ask 'whats on your mind' as they try to get our thoughts out, i mean we know more about people in the 4-5years since we signed up on those things than we did in the whole 20years of knowing them, but it's still not enough. It doesn't even give us a clue of what a person is really thinking.

The mind x-ray machine would be a disaster, ruined friendships, marriages destroyed and children disowned(imagine putting one on a baby and seeing how shes lobbying heaven to be taken back cos she just hates the family she's been brought into) everyone would be an island, because, well, there's always someone thinking something nasty about you even when they smile at you. Oh well.... a good thing theres none.

Saw this picture a while back... this is what the machine would reveal when girls meet and greet :)
Just incase there's one in the works, lets not get caught unawares, let's try taking the advice in Philippians 4:8...
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things"

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

W is for Water and Wedding Bells


I enjoyed reading the book "memoirs of a geisha", and the movie too.It always finds its way into my favorite reads list.
There's such a passionate description of water in there that gets me hooked everything.
It almost reminds me of me. If asked to describe myself using one of the elements, i'd pick water.
 
"Mother always said that my sister Satsu was like wood.
 As rooted to the earth as a Sagura tree. 
But she told me I was like water. Water can carve its way, even through stone. 
And when trapped,
water makes a new path."

"We lead our lives like water flowing down a hill, going more or less in one direction until we splash into something that forces us to find a new course."

"Water never waits. It changes shape and flows around things, and finds the secret paths no one else has thought about."

"Water is powerful. It can wash away earth, put out fire, and even destroy iron."
 

'How does someone harness the power of water?' 

You see, you can throw your best shots at me, i can go through everything, sickness, dry spells, uncertainty, fear... but they can't hold me down. How can you harness the power of God that gives me life? I walk round the limitations, destroy the obstacles, They can't take away my believe, my hope, my faith,
 my life...   
 Wedding!!!

Two wonderful people met, fell in love, decided to get married. I’m so excited for my friends Luls and Jay. I think they make a beautiful couple. You should see them standing, think Will and Jada, only cuter :)The wedding is in a few days, feels like just yesterday when they started loving up.
Best thing about their relationship is their foundation in Christ, nothing beats that.  The theme of the wedding is 'rainbow'. I don't know where they got that from, but to me, rainbow signifies loads of things, beauty, Promise of peace and Love. There's always a reason to smile and get excited when i see the rainbow out. It's just something unique and special. Gods gift.
Theirs will be all that and more.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

V is for Vain Johnny


Johnny Bravo!!!
The vain, disproportionate bodied, muscle bulging blond man boy, who is "childish and incredibly dumb'. I think he's the most loved narcissistic on TV. Piers Morgan's got nothing on him.

With his Elvis voice, Black T-shirt and sunglasses, he appears to be all tough but is still mama's little boy, or just a moron with a big heart for his momma.
Loving up all the fine girls and getting his lines thrown back in his face and sometimes a good beating to go with it, but it doesnt stop him from chasing them, and ignoring the one girl who really loves him, Suzie.

I love Johnny on TV, but seeing him on the streets is not appealing. It's like he's the prototype for most men today.(Nigerian men to be precise)

Only they make up for their lack of bulging muscles with a bulging wallet and cocky pickup lines with fancy cars. Living and breathing definitions of vanity. Self and possession is what they're about.That's all they need to think they're Gods gift to women.
It doesn't help that the girls today are somewhat desperate and easily impressed unlike the 'sexy mamas' that knocked Johnny over. If the actual pickup lines of Johnny's used on them, i bet they'll swoon and be calling their girlfriends giggling about the money, and forgetting to mention his ego.
Oh well, i guess some love the disproportionate make up.

Leaving you with a few classic narcissistic Bravo lines...

"Enough about me, let's talk about you. What do you think of me?"

"Hey Foxy Mama, You smell kinda pretty. Wanna smell me? Hoohah!"

"Man, I'm pretty."

"If loving me is wrong, you don't wanna be right!"

"It's a beautiful day. But not as beautiful as Me."

"My glasses! I can't be seen without my glasses!"

and this has got to be my favorite...

Johnny looks in the mirror "who's this handsome guy?" grabs a phone "hello, 911 emergency? there's a handsome guy in my bathroom!... "hey, wait a second, cancel that...its only me" 

Monday, April 25, 2011

U is for Ubersocial: Have you unfollowed him?

I saw this video and knew i had to share it here. If Jesus was on twitter, i'm sure he'll be the most followed and unfollowed person ever. Many clicking that button with the controversy of following him.
The question is, will you follow him to the end? despite the consequences? Will you favorite his tweets and retweet his words(the bible) every minute he puts up a post? Not caring if your friends unfollow you?

U is for Ultroneous

i know i wrote about cutting my hair some weeks back. Well i did, it was nothing drastic, i spent time talking about it before actually doing it. And it grew back to its former glory almost immediately, like i did nothing to it. It wasn't soo drastic because even though my aunt noticed there was something different about my hair, my mum was oblivious till i had to point it out to her.

Just incase you haven't wiped out your dictionary yet or called up your best friend Google, I'll save you the trouble. Ultroneous means to be spontaneous.(there I've eased your headache, i had to look up the meaning too, not for me, for you)

So, i went to the salon a few days ago, i was going to have hair extension fixed. Everything was going well till i found myself wrapped in the barbers cape and heard the sound of the Ghanaian self professed stylists' scissors sniping at my hair. I know i told him somewhere between blow-drying my hair that i wanted it cut, i wanted to stop him when he kept going lower than i dared, but i was frozen in the moment, i felt defiant, ready to take whatever he would give me. And as i watched the snipping,  it was dejavu again....

I was about seven years old, we were at my aunts for a dinner party in honor of the NRC presidential candidate, i had my meal and was sent upstairs while the adults remained down. My aunts dressing table always had a thing or two to keep me occupied, and on this day there was something extra to keep me busy. A pair of scissors. I sat in front of the mirror, grabbed a chunk of my hair and SNIPE. I don't know what i was thinking, i just know it felt good, that's until mum came up and saw the mess i had made. The next day she took me to the barbers, my punishment? all my hair was shaved off to the lowest of the low. And yes i was mocked in school for that and they sang that horrible song for me. *shivers*

Back to the moment, i felt like that little girl again, it felt good, and thankfully this time, there will be no mom to punish me for my spontaneous madness, and i refuse to punish myself too. I'll find a way of enjoying it one way or the other. I think i kinda like my new hair though, but not enough to stop growing it. I miss my hair sometimes....
me with long hair :(... ok fine its not all natural hair, but you get the picture.

my first taste of extensions so short, i was too faint hearted for it, too fierce and hard for me. Took it off after a week. My new hair reminds me of this

and this is my new look...
 I'm trying to get used to it. I stopped letting myself feel like a different person and being extra conscious about it when people exclaim "you cut your hair?" Even my niece Steph wasn't happy to hear the news. But it don't matter, cos after all, i am not hair.
I think it's fun being spontaneous sometimes.Who knows i may be spotting a Mohawk next... Hopefully my guardian angels will use their swords to strike any stylist that agrees to that idea :)

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Easter Love.

"that though the Witch knew the Deep Magic, there is a magic deeper still which she did not know. Her knowledge goes back only to the dawn of Time. But if she could have looked a little further back, into the stillness and the darkness before Time dawned, she would have read there a different incantation. She would have known that when a willing victim who had committed no treachery was killed in a traitor's stead, the Table would crack and Death itself would start working backwards."....
Aslan Deeper Magic from Before the Dawn of Time

"Yet when I am among mature Christians, I do speak with words of wisdom, but not the kind of wisdom that belongs to this world, and not the kind that appeals to the rulers of this world, who are being brought to nothing.  No, the wisdom we speak of is the secret wisdom of God,* which was hidden in former times, though he made it for our benefit before the world began.  But the rulers of this world have not understood it; if they had, they would never have crucified our glorious Lord." 1 Corinthians 2:6-8

The wisdom of God surpasses ALL understanding. Who can know his ways?

What the devil plans for evil against us, God uses for good, because he is the all knowing God and he lets us go through all the trials, and the death, because in trials and our death, his life is birthed in us and we are resurrected to a greater glory to the shame of the devil.

Just like Jesus.

Satan was beat in his own game.:)

Been playing this song on repeat, It means so much to me, especially in this season....

Now He's seated at the right hand of God
He is our Savior
and His name is Jesus
The One who came and died and now He lives
Lion of Judah
oh Jesus
His face is shining as the morning sun
the Great Redeemer
His name is Jesus
His name is Jesus
The peace that's in His eyes dries every tear
The breath of life
oh Jesus

He still has the nail prints in His hands and in His feet
His power can remove them but it stays for all to see
To remind us of the pain and agony that He endured on Calvary
                                                                                 -Seated on the right hand-Tye Tribett

Happy Easter Everyone.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

T is for Treasure Hunts.

Basically treasures are riches either lost, buried or forgotten until rediscovered.
I love the scenes in movies where pirates finally find lost treasure chests using a map, daydream mode is activated immediately as i stare longingly at all these heart stopping pieces of precious stones on the screen. I'm always thinking 'wow, all these!!!!! what if no one ever discovered it? it'd be just there, wasting away..."
                                                                    photo source:garang76.deviantart.com

I've never played treasure hunt games before, not even the easter egg tradition, because well its not a part of our culture. (thankfully so)
The only hunt i can think off is the 'hide and seek'. If only we'd never have to hunt for the people hiding, it'd be great.
I think we should be allowed to play this game as adults, i'll be the seeker, especially when my nerves are being pinched. When everyones gone to hide, i'll grab a book or my ipod and lounge away, not bothering to find them till i'm in need for some company hours later:) ahhh, the peace and quite.
I've gone off point i know. Pardon me.

Back to treasure hunts. It's not so much a game when it comes to ourselves. There are treasures in each and everyone of us, no matter how insignificant or worthless we feel, we have a purpose, and its our job to hunt for our talents which are the treasures buried deep within us which lead to our purpose.
    
Some of the clues to what our talent is are in the things we enjoy doing, the things that make us alive and lifts our spirits when we get involved or even think of it.
Another island with buried treasures is the Bible, loads of treasures spread out there waiting to be found, and same time it serves as a guide book filled with clues and encouragement in our quest to find the chest.

It gets frustrating sometimes when it comes to finding purpose and finding self, but it doesn't mean we have to stop. Whoever said it'd be easy. Well yeah, so maybe it's easy for some people, but as long as you're motivated, you'll definitely find it.
Even the pirates never have it easy in their quests to find treasures, they sail through the storms, all those months at sea, fighting off attacks and losing arms(why do they always have to have a hook as an arm) and when they finally find the spot where the treasure lies, they have to dig to get it out. They are a determined lot.
More reason why we should be too, and we're legit, we have a right to the treasure we seek. we shouldn't settle for less than we are made to be.
"A man's gift maketh room for him, and bringeth him before great men." Proverbs 18:16
my interpretation of this is verse is your treasures, your talents will bring you before great men and make way for you in the world.

Apart from searching out out treasures, we should try making our hearts a treasure chest of inestimable value by above all loving like Christ loved.

"Your mind can be a junkyard or a treasure chest, and you alone have the ability to choose what it will be."Joyce Meyer, Power Thoughts
 
It's time to start the treasure hunt, if you haven't already found started.
Bon Voyage, and happy hunting.

Friday, April 22, 2011

S is for Superhero

There's always talk about superheros, bat man, superman, iron-man, spider-man, cat-woman.... name them.
But there's a certain superhero that beats them all that Hollywood has failed to give credit to.

He played his roles to the very last detail of the scripts. He never used a double, he performed his stunts himself, from the first day to the last. Even at that moment when his strength failed, he didn't call out to the director to cut the scene, rather he said "I'm not sure i want to do this, but lets do it your way, you're the director, you know whats best". There was no 'STAR' attitude. His hard work has made that movie the best story ever told.

This is the greatest picture of any superhero we can ever ever imagine or create in the cinemas... he had no need for fancy 'hero' suites to distinguish him, his life alone, the blood that was shed,the crown of thorns and the cross is the picture we need of our superhero. All we ever need to see to know that he indeed is.

Jesus. He healed the sick, raised the dead, fed the hungry, taught the seekers, loved those that were scorned, commanded the demons and yet was the most humble of them all.

He played his part to the last detail even as the prophets of old prophesied. And at the last moment, when his strength failed him, when he had the chance to ask for a stunts man, to ask for that part of the script to be changed, to ask for an easier way... he didn't, because he knew what would make the movie a best seller, what would make our salvation sure, what the world needed was for that scene to be included, no part edited or altered, thus with so much pain "....he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” Mathew 26:39 "
“Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.”  An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him.And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground."Luke 22:43-44
I never could understand the part of his sweat being like drops of blood, till i read this "The clinical term is “hematohidrosis.” “Around the sweat glands, there are multiple blood vessels in a net-like form.” Under the pressure of great stress the vessels constrict. Then as the anxiety passes “the blood vessels dilate to the point of rupture. The blood goes into the sweat glands.” As the sweat glands are producing a lot of sweat, it pushes the blood to the surface - coming out as droplets of blood mixed with sweat."www.christiananswers.net

That's how distressed he was, but because he loved me so, he let the script go as it was written. Now that's a real super hero.


Today's good friday, the day we celebrate Jesus death, because in his death, we are alive. His one act of love and heroism has saved the world and countless generations from death and destruction. No greater love can we find.
Today i applaud my super hero and i live in thanksgiving and love for his sacrifice for me.

It's time to stop being hybrid Christians,a mixture of good and bad, that's unacceptable to God. If we want to be in the closing credits of the second part of this movie when the Hero comes back to finish what he's started, then it's time to sincerely and wholesomely embrace the cross as rugged as it looks. Sometimes when i fight with my will and my wants, i remember this verse "And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?" mark 8:16
all the riches, all the fun times, all the love, all THAT is worth nothing if we haven't embraced the cross, and loved Jesus for the sacrifice he's made for us.

X

Thursday, April 21, 2011

R is for rekindled love

'A love rekindled' is Myne Whites second book. Heres a synopsis of the book 'Efe who finds true love with Kevwe, and promises to marry him. Their dreams unravel when Efe wins an American Visa, and fresh violence erupts between their warring ethnic groups. Now, Efe is back in Nigeria, and sparks fly when they meet again. But renewed desire is no match for bitter memories of heartbreak. Can they overcome the traumatic past and rekindle their love?'

Myne has received some great reviews for her books...

"Myne is on her A-game and A Love Rekindled has the makings of a bestseller' - F. Taylor

Reading [this] is like holding up a cloth of kente: each piece rich with history and beauty. With confidence and deftness, Myne Whitman weaves a riveting brocade of friendship, heartache, and love…” Uche Umez, author of Tears in her Eyes.
You can find her lounging here 

Enjoy the book trailer, with the dream nollywood cast.



'A Love Rekindled is available on Amazon (Paperback, Kindle), CreateSpace: Smashwords,Barnes & Noble and major book stores in Nigeria. Get your copy and enjoy. I'm getting mine in 4,3,2.......

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Q is for Quality vs Quantity

I pick Quality over quantity every time. It's easy to miss it, thinking the more you have the better you'll be. Thus use the money meant for one polo shirt to buy ten polos from the aba boys(or Chinese if you prefer) in different colors... you've outsmarted the people, but you just outsmarted yourself smart pants, your polos are so fake the rider just lost his mallet and broke his neck:)...
I would rather have one quality bag, than a dozen cheap bags or designer imitations. Having a full wardrobe doesn't count if you've only got rags in there.

You have all the girlfriends in the world and you're feeling like a 'bad boy'... fact is you can't get that one girl that beats them all... quality still beats quantity.

Its not about having a dozen toasters or dates, every girl comes to realize that at one point, it's about having the right one ask you out. Life is easier and nicer with that one person than the bunch of losers you find yourself hanging out with. 
The success and quality of a marriage is not based on how long a couple dated before taking the plunge... 

It's not about the number of degrees you have, its the quality of your emotional intelligence used to deal with everyday life that matters most. Being street and emotionally smart in his blazer and tie is all the one decree holder really needs to get ahead of you sometimes. Your personal qualities are worth more than the quantity of your qualifications.

Its not about the number of Christians we have in Nigeria or how many churches exists... its about the quality of our devotion, how faithful are we to the faith? Do we grow spiritually from the churches as opposed to hearing feel good sermons and not salvation at its core rawest form.

Its not about how many times you pray in a day or how long you pray for,or how often you fast, its about the rightness and sincerity of your heart. 

Speaking of quantity, i think its just wrong to go on and on and on on twitter, I'd rather have you post once every month or day with something that will make me go 'WOW' than fill my time line with talks that make me question your sanity and intelligence. (I'm guilty of this too) or uploading pictures on facebook every minute with captions like 'fine girl', 'sexy mama'(lets do the appraisal honey) chill with the daily uploads and hit us with something special every other week.
 "Don't pity the girl with one true friend. Envy her. Pity the girl with just a thousand acquaintances." - Unknown Wise Person
Its not about the number of 'friends', fb friends or followers you have, its the quality of your friendship that matters, do they matter in everyday life? can you talk to them? can you rely on them? can you learn and grow through the 'likes' they click on your comments?
"I have three kinds of friends: those who love me, those who pay no attention to me, and those who detest me." 
And we all do too, and they're on our social network list....

It's Better to Have One Friend of Great Value than Many Friends of Little Value



Sometimes we have to be wise and get rid of numbers and stick with substance, Some would argue that all you need is to learn how to balance the two. Whatever rocks your boat, quality tips my scale any day.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

P is for Pain killer


photosource:existentialpunk
I live with pain every day. Pain you don’t just pop a pill to numb. Where codemine, Tylenol extra and advil don’t do the job. When I watched house, I wished I could pop his pills, see if they’d work on me. I didn’t mind getting addicted like him as long as the job was done.
I hate taking pills for the pain, it doubles up my consciousness of the pain and ends up frustrating me cos it doesn't do the job.(it deserves a finger pointing from Donald Trump 'you're fired) Why go through the extra pain of giving myself false hope by popping pills?
They say support groups does it,psychologically and otherwise, it helps going through your pain when you share with others that know what you're going through. But that’s just so wrong, while sometimes its comforting to know I’m not alone, and even more comforting to know I don’t have it as bad as some of the people in these forums, but its depressing there, because I’m seeing people who are so pumped up on meds, whose life’s are on hold and held hostage by this pain they never asked for, I see frustrated people and that’s just sad, they're there trading infos on doctors and tests and pain like its recipes or something. And I’m there thinking eeekkks, get me out of here. No thank you. And oh the pain of physiotherapy...yikes!!!
And so everyday, I create my own special double dose of pain killing monsters. I rip of my vest to show the S on my chest,Alicia style, I’m a superwoman. And so I wear my heels and walk around like the happiest girl, if the pain tops up a notch from the heels i just change the walk, usually looks like i'm catwalking (sorry if you ever thought i walked past that way to grab your attention) If it tries to stop me from driving, then i just drive,i smile in my pain and ignore the little bugger as much as I can, I'm frustrating the life out of the pain, giving it a taste of its own medicine, by just living life when it gives me reasons to sulk and stay away from the goodness of life i've been blessed with.
I combine the 'living life' dose with my hope. You see on those sites they tell you how hard it is to live with it all your life, but I have faith. Knowing that one day I’ll wake up without that irritant is like the biggest high ever. Its like laughing in the face of the devil. Knowing that one way or the other I’ll be the exception, the one who’ll be the rare case, the one who’ll go on that forum and tell them about the extra special Dr i found called Jehovah RAPHA and how he heals. One day I’ll wake up and my whole body will feel right like my right side, and the left will no longer be in pain and left out of the fun. 
I have an overdose on my own painkillers and life is good to go each day. One day at a time right?

Monday, April 18, 2011

O is for Old time radio.

Old time radio where the oldies are still young:) I love the American radio shows made between the mid 1920's through 1960. I stumbled on the old time and I've been hooked ever since. I'm partial to the comedy shows, nothing beats a good laugh any day. It's like a whole new world opened to me, in comparison to the messed up radio dramas i grew up listening to on naija radio stations...

I get to listen to Archie Andrews, from the comic book series and experience the veronica and Betty drama first hand, not forgetting silly jughead, The Bikersons, My friend Irma, The Aldrich family, Our Miss Brooks, My favorite husband, Ozzie and Harriet, Father knows best, A date with Judy.... are just a few of my favorite shows. The oldies have great plots and acting that keeps you going. I could see myself having dinner next to Henry in the Aldrich family, or preparing for a date with Judy or ...my mind is engaged with the sounds i hear, creating pictures of what the characters look like in my head.

Best thing about this is i get to download the free podcast on itunes, a cost free feel good chill pill. If you're an *'osho free' baby like me then click here for free downloads, and if you get hooked and want a wider range of options from detective to mystery to children or brit dramas, you can purchase from Otrcat.com
Happy listening.
*for the jebbies, osho free means awoof, for those more jebbier than the jebbies it just means you love freebies.
 
photo source:smorgshowpodcast

Saturday, April 16, 2011

N is for Nice, not 9ice

I'm obviously not talking about the kind of nice that causes Payne Pain and gets you rugged. No pun intended. I'm talking about pleasant things that give the 'feel good' vibes, like my family, my salvation... so here's 10 random nice things i like....
  • A friendly face everyday.
  • Music. I recently got introduced to American gospel hip hop artist Lecrae, and life has not been the same since, he's thuged me out for Christ, I'm almost hitting the streets with the bandannas on my head, baggy pants and cross on my neck, harassing people and waving my weapons mindlessly them till the succumb to my demands (not guns o, I'm talking about the bible and words) :). Now i can listen to hip hop again, with no fear of losing my soul in all the shallow but life drowning lyrics of drugs, sex, more drugs and sex, this one edifies by drowning you in truth and restoring life to a dying spirit... I've discovered loads of talented gospel acts in the last couple of months and its so exciting and nice to see people handing their talents over to God.
  • Seating at a corner reading a good book. Through books i travel to continents,i become different people, i experience different cultures and i see the world in a different light. One minute i'm seating next to you and the next I'm in japan chatting with geishas, or shopping with Becky Brandon nee Bloomwood, or gasping in shock at peter for daring to walk on water. I get lost in the books i read. "My reading opened doors in my mind of which I'd never been aware." Catherine Cookson
  • Night time, the night is my time of awakening, my moment of music, dance, thoughts and prayer. I love the night time. Staying up while everyone else is asleep is so much fun, sometimes i stay up all night and drift off in the morning if i can.
  • Fridays. I go T.G.I.F for a different reason... 'He's lord praise hour'. its an hour praise and worship session in church on Friday afternoons. Just dancing and singing to the king. Its a lifestyle to me, makes me look forward to the weekend, Just for that 1hour. i call it 'lunch with the king'
  • Food!!!!!! Not a big eater, but its always nice to have food all around me.
  • Photos... It's nice going through old photos and taking new ones. Isn't it amazing how you can lock memories by just a click. Children can see their lives in frozen moments from the very day they were born.
  • Looking back and sighing in relief, i really have grown after all. Even if I'm still an omo mummy. Its a nice feeling
  • Good laughs with friends and family
  • Blogging. Even if i had no one reading... But i love it that i have y'all coming here every day, every other day, or once a year. You make it worth it. I've had old bloggers ask me 'you're still blogging?' It's a feel good thing. i love it.

We vote in our president today. I endorse GEJ, i think he's nice :) despite all the venom thrown at the PDP, its worth giving him a chance, i'd rather have him than any of the others. Don't argue with me, just go out and vote for who you think the right one is, that's worth more than all the twitter,blog and fb political wars.

Friday, April 15, 2011

M is for Miners: Chi Chi Chi Le Le Los Mineros de Chile

Gloria a Dios... that's a new one i learned from the rev, so basically i can speak Spanish:).

Jose Henriquez Gonzalez and his wife at Jesus House London
Early this year, Jesus house London hosted Reverend Alfredo Cooper, chaplain to the Chilean president and Jose Henriquez Gonzalez the 24th miner to be rescued and his wife sharing every inch of their faith with us. He was the 'pastor' of the trapped miners.
So yayyy, i shook hands with he and his wife(stop rolling your eyes, I'm sure you'd be excited if i said i shook hands with beyonce) and he smiled at me and she smiled at me and i smiled at them and we all smiled at each other :) and life was good.
Its funny how excited i was about it, i mean a few months ago, he was just a miner from some unknown town in Chile, but today, he's a survivor, a fighter, a believer, a living testimony and a hero in his own right.

Watching the story on CNN and all the news networks, reading it online and in the papers doesn't come close to hearing a first hand account of a survivor, seating in front of you, still overwhelmed with emotions, as he relived his experience and answered questions asked by pastor Agu.
I was moved at the level of his faith, he said he knew Jesus was with them down in the earths bowels, the 34th miner.
Pastor Agu interviews Jose and Rev Cooper
Jose took a seemly bad situation and made the best out of it, sharing the good news of Jesus and preaching to the others. He organized prayers twice a day(that's where he got the pastor title from)
This somewhat horrific event has been a blessing, Gods way of opening doors for his name and the gospel to be spread to those who would not hear it on a good day. Jose has been invited to many countries along with the Rev Cooper, the more they're called to speak, the more he talks about the faithfulness of God, and the need for salvation. The days of darkness has brought about the light of the gospel of Christ to many.

Despite the bleakness in the world, there was reason for the world to laugh and rejoice in unison even if for a moment, a moment for even the atheist to acknowledge God when those people swallowed by the earth were coughed out one by one. I'm almost forgetting to mention his sweet wife who's faith is to be admired, she said she knew one way or the other her husband was going to come out alive.

This got me thinking, although we walk the walk, dress the dress and drive the drive in our posh cars, many are buried in mines, in that deep dark place, where it seems all hope is lost and we've been forgotten in the depths, fear crowding in, the future looking bleak, will you ever see the light again? Will you ever get to smile from your heart again? will you ever love again? will life ever have meaning again? Its easy to give up, when things seem bad or Gods promises are delayed. But then, there's the better alternative, the one the miners chose.
Don't just sit in that dark place the world has buried you in, it may be dark, but who says you can't up and live life, who says prayer doesn't change things? who says? the miners were down for 17days before anyone even knew they were alive, and even at that, no one knew how they'd get out, but the nation prayed, the world prayed, they prayed and prayed and prayer changed everything about 2months later.

No matter how dark it seems, how bleak and hopeless, don't stop praying. Let Jesus into your darkness so he can get light to you... soon, gradually, the capsules will be lowered in and your spirit will be lifted high, rescued into the brightness of light, step by step....what am i trying to say? just pray until something happens.

photo source:www.jesushouse.org.uk

Thursday, April 14, 2011

L is for Lola

I like Lola. I like her a lot. Who is Lola? Lola is Charlie’s sister. Who’s Charlie?… you know the chap from the children’s program/book ‘Charlie and Lola’
I refuse to be judged for that. I’m only trying to be the best aunt a child can have, thus my niece Gaby loves watching Charlie and Lola and its rubbed off on me.
Lola is so much fun, just being the child that she is. She is a determined and independent minded girl. I like Charlie for loving Lola and not being a mean older brother.He's such a sweet patient boy, every little boy ought to be like him. But I like Lola more. Maybe I’d have loved Charlie more, but Lola … there’s something about her, like what i want little girls to be, determined and brave, not timid and scared.  Like my niece. 
"i am not sleepy and i will not go to bed" those are words of a determined Lola, and dear dear charlie knows just how to break down her defenses without crushing her feelings.
I wouldn’t mind been friends with her. I would very much have liked her to be my imaginary friend if I was allowed to have one.
When i think of 'seven years' by Norah Jones, i picture Lola as the little girl....

"spinning, laughing, dancing to her favorite song, A little girl with nothing wrong, is all alone.
eyes wide open, always hoping for the sun. And she'll sing a song to anyone that comes along.
Fragile as a leaf in autumn... just falling to the ground, without a sound.
Crooked little smile on her face, tells a tale of grace, that's all her own...."
I think of Lola, spinning and dancing and laughing in that determined way with no care in the world. The independent minded girl, free from fear and tears and sorrows. I like Lola a lot.

*sigh* this is what being a mother by proxy does to you.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

K is for Kiss and Tell

He’s a kiss and tell kind of guy, he kisses me and wants me to tell the world.
Or I should say I’m a kiss and tell sort, I receive his kisses and shyly tell the world.
He’s comforted me with his kisses, he’s shielded me, he’s warmed my soul with his hugs, he’s given me joy and hope with his whispered promises, he’s given me peace with his presence and made me blush to the roots of my hair and sent me crying in awe with the words of his letters.
And when I lie beside him, it’s the best feeling ever, the warmth of him embracing me when I have that last pillow talk just before I sleep. The way he touches my heart in the mornings, the way he dines me with his blessings. And how he showers me with his gifts. His kisses gives life to me.
He hates it when I make him my personal secret, when I keep all his loving to myself.

He wants me to tell the world of his kisses, to write about him, to sing about him, to share my testimonies of his love to others and to thank him for loving me the way he does. By telling them, they can know what sort of lover he is and long for him too, does it make me jealous? Na… I love it when more people accept him,I'll be trilled if all my friends moved into our home and shared in the bed of his loving. It doesn’t make him distant from me, rather it makes him love me more.

He’s kissed me, thus I love to tell, maybe I’m not bold enough to stand in front of people just yet, but i love to write about him, to pour out my love and faith through the words that i write.

Hes kissed me with grace that redeems and saves.
He’s kissed me with life on those dark days I faced death and he pulled me back.
He’s kissed me with his hand leading me back on the path of life.

He’s kisses have taken away the loneliness and feelings of doom.
His kisses have turned walls into revolving doors.
His kisses have mended my heart and taken away my fears and tears.
His kisses have given me laughter on the gloomy days and through shady situations.
His kisses make me good as new when I’m broken beyond human repair.
His kisses pierce right through my skin and into my soul and warms it up
His kisses has provided for me.
His kisses don’t lie, I know them well and I love them so.
Have you let Jesus kiss you lately? Have you responded to the call of his love and gotten lost in his embrace yet? you should try it.

He kisses me well and I love to tell.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

J is for Judge or juror


"Sentence first- verdict afterwards” queen of hearts, Alice in wonderland.
We all have values and we’re all highly principled. But as long as we’re out of the box, never been tested on the true strength of our values, we will never know how truly principled we are.
Its easy to seat on the high horse of self-righteousness, residing as both judge and juror. A healthy extravagant dose every day. We hit the streets with our wigs and gavels, looking left and right, eager to charge someone to our court of ‘righteness’.
You don’t have to do much to be charged, we judge by appearances, by mistakes, by peoples past, by possessions, by height, by looks... always an opinion or two to air about everyother person but yourself, forgetting that someone somewhere is charging us in his or her own court. Like the queen, we give our sentence first, and regret it after we realize we were wrong, most times its already too late.
“be careful not to jump into conclusions before the lord returns as to whether or not someone is faithful. When the lord comes, he will bring our deepest secrets to light and will reveal our private motives. And then God will give to everyone whatever praise is due” 1 Corinthians 4:5
The very thing we’re ready to charge someone for is what we tolerate in others, or partake in sometimes or wished we could do but didn’t have the guts to. King David is the perfect example ..'David was furious. “As surely as the lord lives,” he vowed, “anyman who would do such a thing deserves to die! He must repay four lambs to the poor man for the one he stole and for having no pity.” Then Nathan said to David, “You are that man!”2 Samuel 12:5-7
We’re first to throw the stone, even when we know we’ve been guilty of some things we accuse of sometimes. Or maybe we just forget we’ve been through it before... that’s why we should look in the mirror to be sure there's no lipstick stain on our teeth before going around adjusting other peoples makeup. Quick to judge and we may just end up sentencing ourselves.
If the adulterous woman’s scene is played out today, someone would definitely damn Jesus words and cast the stone. And it’d be another woman, face covered up in modesty, on her way to church after creeping out of some married mans bed,not the one who paid her house rent, but the other one, the one who bought her the car shes driving, designer bag shes carrying and the phone she’ll use in calling her friends to spread the news of what ‘shola’ did, the bible shes holding and the well manicured hands she uses to pick the stones.
Because you see, everything is wrong as long as its someone else concerned.
Don’t try to judge people if you’ve never walked in their shoes. Don’t try to judge people before you get to know them. If you’re going to correct a mistake, which we should, then lets do it in love, knowing it could be you or someone close to you. We haven't earned the right to judge even if we're the holier than holy, its Gods grace that has kept you. Let God be the judge, he’s better at it.
photo source:pyschologytoday.com

Monday, April 11, 2011

I is for Insecure...

I come across insecure people everyday or maybe every other day.
I've learned that being rich or pretty or loved doesn't automatically give you a pass to the land of self-confidence.

Not knowing who you are kills you.
Of course you know you're beautiful, but that doesn't stop you from being insecure, everyone has to have a motive for smiling at you, everyone has to be gossiping about you, everyone has to be hating on you, every word spoken has to have a deeper meaning and everything has got to be about you when you're not even about yourself.

I know a couple of rich people who are just  piles of insecurity walking in designer heels and drenched in diamond jewelry. The more they feel insecure, the more they shop for expensive things and the more their self worth is depreciated because they are defined by their possessions, thus the more they look down on people.
Trying to prove yourself by letting them know who you are, your friend buys a range, you buy two ranges and throw in a jet for good measure(or lie about it).
And the pretty girls who act all bitchy and put on smirks and snigger when other girls step into the room? And they way they respond to greetings? The most insecure set of people ever.

Knowing who you are beyond your wealth, your beauty and your intelligence brings you into a place of rest. That's why you'll buy that primark dress you like and wear it confidently, that's why you'll compliment a lady who looks nice, that's why you'll be happy for your friends success, that's why your smile will brighten someones day, that's why you wouldn't look down on people. That's why you'll hang out with friends who carry chanel and not fidget all evening because you're thinking 'i should have brought mine' while your leg is sorta, kinda kicking your aldo/zara bag under the table. Because you dont have to prove anything to anyone, not even yourself.

Jesus knew who he was. He is the greatest example of a secure person.
"Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God;  so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist.  After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him." John 13:3-5
 When you know you're all that in Christ, nothing else matters. The bible emphasized that Jesus knew who he was, thus he knew that God had given him every authority~(and we are joint heirs with Christ, thus we have same authority) He didn't care if they would think him less by washing their feet, he didn't think himself less either. He had an identity and that was his anchor, thus he could serve with all his heart and not be called a servant, he could dine with the tax collectors and talk with the prostitutes and not care what they called him for showing them love. He could stand before his accusers and not say a word to defend himself, even when just a word could have shut them up. He knew who he was. He had no time for ego tripping.

Who are you? 
With all our wealth, and beauty and fame and intelligence, and marriage and career, we are still incomplete, for all these things without Christ in us is nothing. And we'll always be in that place of emptiness, looking for that one thing to fill us up.
With Christ as my anchor, i am everything. With my little, i have much, with nothing, i still have joy. My joy is in him and not in my wardrobe, my makeup, my account, my shares, my body, or the compliments i receive. I was insecure once upon a time, so i should know:). Maybe i still have little traces here and there, but shedding off is a process, it takes time, the best thing is not being where i used to be, because i've let him take over.
"I am forgiven, I am your friend
I am accepted, I know who I am
I am secure, I'm confident
That I am loved, I know who I am" i know who i am, Israel Houghton
Who are you?

*************
Happy birthday to one of the best, most generous sisters ever. Biba...(I'm waiting for my car gantana) i love her more than numbers. I'm thankful to God for making her WHO SHE IS to me. (again, this is all for the car, i'm waiting)

Saturday, April 9, 2011

H is for Heels.


Its more than just another pair of shoe to the woman, it’s a phenomenon men can't understand(Well some of them wear heels... (hello Elton john and prince). why walk with 6inches when you can walk comfortably in flats or kitten heels?
“When I wear high heels I have a great vocabulary and I speak in paragraphs. I’m more eloquent. I plan to wear them more often.”
- Meg Ryan -
A woman’s precious companion, a skill she's just got to learn… a woman who runs in heels is in a league of her own. I love the confidence a woman eludes when she walks in heels...almost like's dancing to the music of the click click of her heels.
“You put high heels on and you change.”
- Manolo Blahnik -
Its given her an ever ready weapon to tackle criminals and to discipline her children. Its caused her embarrassment those days she tripped over and struggled to strut in heels. Its caused her pain, and doctors appointments. And its drained her bank account.(hi louboutins)
Most amazing of all, its screened her suitors, Between the heels and the man, she chooses the heels, she cant imagine giving up her heels for a man just to be able to lean on his shoulders.



in other news... Hiatus


For the next couple of weeks or one, i will be off BIS. My blackberry will be calls only, and maybe the occasional text messages. No idle fiddling, no idle chats.



Some people just love to talk, and the bbm doesn't help, people with nothing to say pinging you all day. What I’ll miss about it is chatting with my nieces, and their mum, my eldest sister H. That’s a long story I don’t want to go into, but my sister actually chatting on bb is a trip only the heavens can explain.
Now I’ll have more time to concentrate, I wouldn’t randomly go on twitter, I wouldn’t check fb as often, I wouldn’t have to reply emails immediately I get them. I’ll have time to read all the books piled up by my bedside, I’ll have time to focus on the project I’m working on, I’ll have time to just be quite and reflect and fellowship with God.
Still on H, Hakuna Matata, it means no worries. This challenge has got me worked up, a post a day gives the brain a mean drain. I was worried I'd move on at day two of the challenge, B is for BYE BYE... But I’m still standing, and imma see this through. Who would have thought I’d be disciplined enough to come this far? yayyy to me. Send in your presents at Z :)


photo source:studentsoftheworld

Friday, April 8, 2011

G is for God is still God.

"Help me have faith in the knowledge
That You're greater than what we go through
And when I reside in the valleys
Help me keep trusting in You
The how and the when You are moving
Were not meant for me to decide
Again and again You are proving
You're there at just the right time " You are still God by Scott Krippayn
e
God is still God.
Even when the earth convulses and swallows people...
Even when the oceans revolt and go beyond their bounds...
Even when the winds protests and go raving mad...
And the rains lock themselves up and refuse to drop, even when the plants refuse to grow,
And our bodies turn against us...
Even when time seems to run faster than the clock ticks...
Even when we cry, and sulk, and groan in pain, and hate, and mourn...
Even when it seems the heavens are shut over us and nothing seems to work in our favor...
God is still God and still in control.
And his plan still stands. Even when the world is caving in on you like job "God might kill me, but I have no other hope. I am going to argue my case with him."job 13:15 
Though he slays us, we will praise him...because he is still God, we are nothing outside of him, we are everything in him even in our darkest days...
"can anything ever separate us from Christ's love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted or hungry, or destitute or in danger or threatened with death? Romans 8:35
He is still God.

Lets remember to PRAY FOR JAPAN! Surely God is not sleeping and he has a purpose for everything... no matter how gruesome it may be.


photo source:mytechroom.co.uk

Thursday, April 7, 2011

F is for Fairy tales

The African folk tales taught us great lessons. Mr tortoise was certainly a wonderful teacher… always going through the fire just to teach little children a lesson or two. Poor old thing.
But fairy-tales, did we ever get to learn from the whole castle, princes,fairies and happily ever after stories? I was thinking about some of the fairy-tales, and decided to squeeze some life lessons out of them. This is just for fun.. don’t take it serious or maybe you should or not.
Cinderella… we’re slaves of peoples expectations of us. They expect us to be anything but the best, agree to whatever demands they make on us and be shadows of ourselves. You want more out of life but you let yourself stay in that confinement because it's what is expected of you. Until that moment when you're dared to cave in to the pressure within by the bad friend fairy godmother. You dare to be free for once, you sneak out to have a feel of the world you imagined beyond your confinement…. You enjoy the waltz and the music and the dresses and having your way, but you feel guilty for having so much fun and dread getting caught, thus you run back to that place where your mind is locked and controlled by everyone except you.... and em, ops, i've lost the plot here, errrrrrr.... Whatever,so a pair of shoes somehow manages to break you out and free you from slavery, and you marry the one they don't expect you too, the biggest boy toh badt:) aka fine bobo aka the prince. Lets leave it at that, in simpler words, always make sure you forget one leg of your shoes(even if they're manolos) at events, someone will notice them one day and hopefully it'll be your prince that will come looking for you, and not some lady who wants to beg for the other leg, cos the manolos are these seasons:)

 
Rapunzel… sometimes we’re locked up in castles built by our past hurts, our fears, and betrayals and jealousy insecurities. We don’t want to be in this place we’ve been locked up in, we want out, and so we seat daydreaming, waiting for someone (has to be a handsome prince) to rescue us. So many pass us by, not knowing how, till that one special person comes along, and oh, he sees your locked up soul in those sad eyes of yours, and all he wants to do is rescue you despite the barricade you’ve built. But he can’t climb over the walls without your help, and so he does what the others failed to do, ask for your help*yawn*.
You’ve got to let down your hair and help him up… by learning to trust and dropping your defenses you let him in or else you’ll lock everyone out in your fear and insecurities. Make sure the hair extension you use is tightly sewn in, else your scalp will come off from the extra weight of his pot belly.
Beauty and the beast… Looks are deceiving. Not all ugly people are ugly. There's a Denzel within them.
Even a beast can have a heart of gold. Some haven’t always been that way. They’ve been turned into beasts by wicked witches ex girlfriends/boyfriends. They’ve been hurt and in turn they want to hurt you before you can hurt them back, no use getting burnt twice. It takes patience, and kindness and true love to break through the skin of the beast into that whole bunch of handsomeness/beauty within. Your love will eventually turn him/her into the prince/princess that he/she is on the inside (like I said… don’t take this serious) Don't mean you should start visiting zoos, looking for lions and bears to hug, hoping there's a fairy tale dream within.

Pinocchio? Errrrr… if you lie, your nose will grow long and your father will get swallowed by a fish because you're disobedient. *shrugs* Oh, and of course, you'll stop being controlled like a puppet by your father and become a real boy when you decide to stop lying,
Snow white. Phew…. Don’t go looking at mirrors, or your step mother will realize you’re finer than she is, and she’ll send you packing, then you’ll have to live with dwarfs with funny names, and stop eating apples(which is bad, cos an apple a day keeps the doctor away) and you’ll get sick, then have to eat an apple anyway to get well, but you'll die, and then a young man will kiss you and wake you up and marry you. But then again, maybe you should look in mirrors, how else will the prince find you if you're not dead, because your stepmother killed you?


Sleeping beauty… all you have to do to find the man of your dreams is sleep. Sleep and sleep and sleep till you dream him into reality. Then he’ll kiss you and wake you up from your dream. Shikena!!! Looking for prince charming? Be a sleeping beauty, have a make over, buy the best hair in the market, use all the makeup mac can make,pop a bunch of minty tictac in your mouth and then wear your best clothes and sleep. Note that this wouldn't 'werk' if you snore and drool in your sleep. Neither will it work if you live in naija, cos nepa will take the light, and then you’ll sweat in your sleep, meaning your makeup will run and your hair will stink from sweating, so the prince will pass you by.
Don't let me start with the princess and the frog... or little mermaid.
 I guess in the end, I'll be running back to Mr. Tortoise for life lessons,and not try to get deep and philosophical lessons from my princesses.:)
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