"Choose the belief that push you relentlessly forward, not the ones that hold you back". Ralph marshon.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
I get numb, shocked and i develop cold feet, there's a lot at stake in the answer i give, it could either make them want this person or think i belong to a crazy sect. But then i realize i have nothing to say, it's time to talk the talk in 3D and i have no idea. I can say the basic things of how good he is to me and how lovely he is and how kind and how he died for my sins and redeemed me, but beyond that how do i make a person who has no idea understand who Jesus is? How do i send out the message of salvation without being a senseless blabbing fool? Where in the world do i start from? Lord have mercy.
I went on a street evangelism mission once. I was scared, i almost stayed back in bed that Saturday morning, but i ended up in the car with my sister. It was a church thing.... we all met up in church and seeing all those people calmed my nerves a bit, and then we prayed together and joined our various groups, the spirit of it all warmed me up...well I'm sure it was the spirit of it that warmed me up and not the scorching Lagos sun.
And so it was that i had my first evangelism walk. It was fun, the rich, the poor, the beautiful, the shy, the bold....we all came out. My team took oniru estate and others spread out towards ajose et co. I had a couple of panic attacks.... we were in V/I and what if people i knew saw me? people heading to the palms... my 'posh' friends. But i threw it all away, i held my head up and laughed and walked like a girl on a mission "For I am not ashamed of this Good News about Christ. It is the power of God at work, saving everyone who believes".
I was on a new level of high... i gave out tracts, we answered questions and prayed with people, the theme of the walk was 'it's time' from 2 Corinthians 6:2 '.... Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation.'
The things you come across when you walk the gospel... people with all sort of problems needing prayers. I got proposed to:) the guys mostly stared and tried to chat me up when i walked up to them... thank God for my companion, she was this sweet elderly lady and she was a wolf against the wolves that growled at me. Most were encouraged "if people like you are coming out to do this, i guess i'll check the church out" so maybe they're in search of wives or whatever, important thing is it'll drive them to church and they'll get arrested there.
It was a good experience for me.
It was well worth the sun and the walk, i made up my mind to take morning and evening walks in lekki with tracts to distribute and chat with people... still haven't gotten round to it.
Being asked the question about Jesus woke me up again... i need to get my evangelism groove on.
Don't get me wrong, i let my friends know how important it is to get close to God and stuff like that, but when i have to explain to someone from a Muslim country with no Christian background about Christ, that's when the chills creep in. I did my best, i told him what i felt, i just worry and hope it was good enough for him.
Found some pictures of the walk on Nnamdi's page and i'm sharing em... enjoy.
|Getting spiritually equipped|
|sisi ekos were on deck|
|eager to walk the walk|
|the children came out too...out of the mouth of babes|
|onward christian soldiers|
|the average Jane was approached|
|and the big man too|
|the posh got tackled|
|and the not errr.... young ladies too|
|twas all worth it seeing people do things...|
If you're in the area, be sure to stop by at City of David on
COD Church Road,Off Ligali Ayorinde Street,Off Dideolu Estate,
Victoria Island, Lagos.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
|Raquel Lily Jacobs|
- The girl initiative… which I'm so in love with. It's focused on educating girls about societal and moral ills, health issues,spiritual and self development issues ranging from self-esteem to HIV/AIDS to sexuality to Etiquette/Grooming and everything in-between. Catching them while they are young and raising their awareness, so basically they grow up knowing ‘whats up’ and don’t end up making stupid mistakes like those before them. Contact Beyonddclassroom.blog.com if you would love to be a facilitator, give talks to the girls and help change a life.
- Project red robot: now this one got me shocked. Have I been so sheltered that I take little things for granted? There really are girls out there, who can't afford sanitary pads. Like seriously? This initiative is all about providing sanitary-towels to girls who cannot afford it. I was shocked when she told me some girls use old raggish clothes as pads and wash to reuse since they can't afford proper protection. This puts them at a high risk of getting cervical cancer and other infections. We really are blessed beyond measure... little everyday things are worth something much more than we can imagine to others. For more info on this visit http://projectredrobots.blog.com
They say don't despise the days of little beginnings, but how hard it is. How much we hate little things. We want the big things now. Don't give me all the stories of going through stages, because i hate little things.
And so its hard to appreciate your cute little kia picanto when you would rather be driving a sweet BMW 3 series or a range or something hot(yeah, so maybe using the picanto as an example is pushing it too far...:p). It's hard to appreciate the little things when you know there's a bigger picture. But how do you fill out the bigger picture if you don't start with that first step of growth, the first stroke of the brush on the canvas?
The little job shapes you up for the big job. But it's hard not to despise the fact that you're at the bottom of the food chain at work... it doesn't matter if this is your first job, all you want is to be up there NOW.
Its hard to love the little things, but the little things are what builds the house, the little blocks end up becoming the big house you live in. You just can't put up one big chunk of block and get a house ready, it's got to be one stone after the other till its complete.
And as much as we hate little things, we hate the simple things too. We love complicated, after-all, we're humans, whats the brain for if not making up things that aren't really there.
A headache can't be just a headache, we've watched too many episodes of house and have more medical information available to us online, thus a headache could mean a brain tumor. Remember that scene in last king of Scotland where Idi Amin(Forest Whitetaker)had tummy trouble and screamed that he was poisoned but it was just gas?
Why in the world is she offering to buy me dinner? You think maybe shes trying to use me for something? make me indebted to her... Cos i see no reason why she should buy me a new dress.
Well i probably didn't think that maybe she's just buying me dinner and maybe shes just being nice to me by buying me a dress, because those are simple answers, too easy. But i have to make it complicated.
It's like trying to figure someone out. We think they're too nice or too pretty or too something, thus there must be something wrong with them... they're frauds, and so we don't take them as they are, we look for ways to complicate the simplicity of who they are... we're at it till we destroy whatever relationship we had with them in our quest for ripples in the clear waters.
Complicated apparently is the spice of life.
He says hi... well say Hello and move on. He's not thinking about proposing to you, the guy is just being a gentleman, and not having the hots for you. Please spare him and take him off your prayer list and round table discussions with your friends trying to analyze how he said the hi and how he smiled and what it means.
He says 'I love you' take it as it is and don't start a conference with your brain, heart and ears ruling out the possibility that he is indeed sincere and No he isn't saying that to get something from you and no he doesn't say that to all the girls... Somethings should be taken as they are(be street smart sha o).
Little things and simple things are the hardest to accept. Because our minds have been programmed by our environment to think that happiness and joy can only be derived from big things, and that good things aren't that easy to come about.
Its not in us to believe we can be happy in our kai picanto(before we get upgraded that is), its not in us to believe that we don't have to pound the pavement and drown in our sweat to get that dream job... We've been made to believe that if you don't sweat for it then theres a snag somewhere, one way or the other it'll be taken away. But sometimes blessings flow and things come easy, don't stop the flow by trying to figure it out. Just be thankful.
Life really is that simple, i try my best not to get it all complicated for my own good. It gives headaches when i think deeper than i should on some issues, and i hate headaches.
Sometimes it's best to just drive in your little car with the windows down and enjoy the cool evening breeze. Don't despise those moments. It's simple things that gives us joy... not buying another expensive pair of shoes or going on a date in a maybach. Call a spade a spade and move on with life.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Deep cut wounds of the past. Bruises in the heart, and wounds of the flesh. Scars in one place or the other, marks of remembrance somewhere et co. They all tell a story, some beautiful, some brutal, some just too ugly for keeps, thus we have therapys to heal our hearts, plastic surgery to cover up the blemish, and thank God for all the beauty creams that promises to fade the marks out and of course photo-shop to hide that ugliness.
I’ve got a scar on my right arm. It used to be embarrassing. Especially when everyone wanted to know what happened. I would self consciously hold my left hand over it when I wore sleeveless clothes, making me look clumsy, or use the veils I love to carry to cover it up. It was a lot bigger than what it looks like today. It’s a shadow of what it used to be, but its still there all the same. And somehow that ugly black spot is more of a beauty spot to me than a mark of death and doom that it was before.
About three years ago I was this close to dying. Struggling between wanting to let go and wanting to live. I remember going out for apple crumbles with my friend Remi and he noticed a small bump on my arm, we both dismissed it as a mosquito bite. It got bigger that weekend, and more painful by the hour, throbbing and red and then suddenly I wasn’t breathing good, and then I was hanging on to life and blab la bla, I’ll spare you the details.
It could be a scar of a heartbreak... but look at you now, Thank God your heart got broken then and you got something better today.
It could be the scar of being an addict... but look at you now, Thank God you didn't die in that live you lived, thank God you're a survivor and look how far you've come today.
It could be the scar of rape and abuse.... Thank God the scar has helped you find your voice, to speak out and help others going through the same.
It could be the scar of..... you get my point?
I'm truly thankful for every scar in my life.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
The bell terrorized my poor soul. I only enjoyed hearing it when it ended some lesson or prep.
When it came to the 'rising bell' or 'siesta over' i could strangle the bell ringer.
The bell would go off at about 5am, just when the sleep was getting 'sweeter' and the early morning Abuja weather beckoned to me to snuggle into my blanky with dreams of being home watching tv with endless plates of my favorite dishes handed to me or performing with Spice girls in some concert.
You had a choice to make if you were in my hostel... you could choose to ignore the bell and sleep on, but that meant choosing to get a nice lashing to shock you out of sleep from matron Zita... her cane was enough to chase every sleeping demon far far away. A harsh way to transit to the reality of bunk beds and discipline from the mirage of the comfort of home and stardom.
As much as we hate the bells and alarms, we really do need them, they help keep us in line. And someone has to keep doing the job of the bell ringer, even if it's a dirty little job... I never liked the bell ringers in school. Today I'll be your matron zita, just incase you've pressed the snooze button for too long or ignored the bell. Today i choose to shock you awake, to shock myself awake again... I'm only doing my job. Remember, don't shoot the messenger for waking you up from your seemingly sweet dream.
A couple of weeks ago my sister and i were at another service of songs of another 'friend' a fine young man, i've known all my life but we've probably never said more than a few words to each other, mostly nods of acknowledgment.
A few days ago, i got a call, a good friend of mine lost her sister, another fine young lady, last i saw her was at the funeral of yet another fine young man(all of them not older than 31)
I asked myself why? And it hit me... this is the wake up call for the youths. It's time to wake up to the reality of life, it owes you nothing.
Its easy to ignore the talks of 'we've got to change'. Pressing the snooze button and ignoring all the talks, wanting to stay forever in that seemingly cozy bed and sweetness of sleep(life). Truth is, staying in bed only brings us to our ruin, we miss out on everything, we're late for everything and more often than not we're punished for that 'one more minute' of sleep. Life as we know it isn't as sweet as we think... clubbing, drunken nights out, sexual freedom... It's time to wake up from all that illusion.
The more the bell rings, the sweeter the pleasures the world offers, it's like its a competition. And you just can't see yourself waking up and leaving all that goodness. Never has there been such freedom, such boldness to do what you've always wanted to do with no one raising an eye brow. Never have you been so popular, and never have you felt so wanted with every man wanting to talk to you. Never mind that your skirt is practically stops on your waist and your boobs are hanging out... the attention you're getting is heady.
Today you've ignored the ringing of the bell for so long, so I'll be a self assigned matron Zita, double checking that no ones still sleeping after the bells gone off.
This verse from proverbs obviously talks about something else, but it fits in to what i'm trying to say "Do not love sleep or you will grow poor; stay awake and you will have food to spare."proverbs 20:13(niv) The more we sleep, the more we loose our soul. It's time to wake up and live the life of abundance we were created to live, abundance in peace, joy, love, kindness, purity.....
The deaths have definitely been a lash on my back. I keep thinking and wondering, whats life worth beyond our eagerness to be married, to get that job, to make that much money, to be famous, to wear that dress.... to look beautiful? its worth nothing without God. If I'm getting the houses and the cars and the fame and dying the next minute without God then what's the point? Not just God in the sense that we wear a blingbling gold cross, but God in the sense that he's imprinted in our hearts and our life is about living to please him and not caving into the demands of our flesh.
The alarm has been ringing none stop. How many more youngsters do we have to see die before we start living right? before we take things as seriously as we should? Before we spring out of bed to start living?
If we dropped dead at this moment, where would we go? I ask myself this question as i type this.
I'm not perfect, but I'm working on it, at least I'm awake now, I'm no more asleep and its easier to shower and get ready for life. This is our wake up call. Got Jesus?
"You and i have need of the strongest spell that can be found to wake us from the evil enchantment of worldliness" C.S Lewis***************
Friday, August 5, 2011
Today, in the world within the world, we had an act, the doctor played God and we were her subjects. She promised us a clean and easy surgery, a very minor one, no need to worry, even with the general anesthetic. We believed her, but we were still tensed as grandma was wheeled into the theatre and mum followed a few minutes after.
Did I ever doubt that they'll be fine? No. But then, like most humans i hate to wait.
And so we waited. Then the nurse came in to prepare grandmas bed. That perked us up, but still no grandma, and still no mum and still the wait. Knowing it'll be alright but still just wanting the moment to end. Seating on the window stile looking out through the vast window at the country side, so much beauty around me, but too caught up in the wait to appreciate, even though i KNEW it'd be alright.
Mum and granny are doing good. There's four generations of women in this room. The wait is over. And the god in this play was right, they really are doing wonderful, the surgery was perfect and we'll be going home soon. She came through on her promise, I trusted her, because her smile and care for her patients and love for her job was genuine. I just hated waiting for the promise to be a reality. I'm happy and thankful mum and granny are fine.
And so it is in the real world, with the real God. He gives his word and we know him enough to love and trust him completely to come through for us, but the wait is so crazy. The door opens and like in the hospital someone walks in and we're excited thinking the wait is finally over... But its just a nurse preparing the bed, the false hope effect.
And finally after long minutes(years) of waiting... Too tensed to enjoy the beauty of life through the window in your waiting room, even though you tell yourself you really are living, the promise comes through. And even the devil binding, walk on water, demon sucking, tongue speaking christian in you let's out a sigh of relieve. You never doubted... But somehow, some part of you was twisted and wondering if you really should believe.
My lesson from the hospital today is Waiting on God is worth it... He'll never back down on his promise, give him time, to come through with the best he has for you.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Okay, so maybe my illusion is a little off, basically what i'm trying to say, is what you see isn't always what you get. Don't seat on the outside killing another with your envy and anger when you're totally clueless...
We see loads of young men and women who've seemingly 'made' it, and suddenly it's sleepless nights for us. Seriously, you wouldn't want to do half of what they do to get where they are.