who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Monday, November 28, 2011

Man, I feel like a woman

Miss Sahhara
I found this video and knew i had to share it here.
It's about Miss Sahara, UK based Nigerian model/singer/songwriter. A beautiful woman you would say.
I went to school with 'Miss' Sahara, although i never knew her personally, but then almost everyone knew who she was. I saw her around campus and listened to all the gossip and judgment passed on her for being the person that she chose to be. (I've got to admit i wasn't only a listener sometimes, i was among those who talked about her with my nose turned up) She would be at the forefront of beauty pageants on campus, teaching the girls to catwalk and stuff. She was a typical girly girl, a little too girly in an obvious way, that she was a prey to hurtful words and judgment.

After going through a lot of prejudice and insults i stopped seeing her on campus... Didn't hear about her for a while and suddenly pictures of her surfaced online, totally transformed. She damned tradition, refused to conform and chose to be who she wanted to be without being judged... of course she had to relocate to London to live out her dream, to free her inhibition without getting stoned and dissed by the (daily fading) traditional way of life in Nigeria.
She was once a man mocked for being girly and queer, but today he's transformed in every physical way and has become a woman.

He's now her. source:http://www.sahhara.co.uk
There have been insults thrown at her/him... filthy names and all which i don't think is right.
I still can't understand the need to go through a sex change, not just wearing girls clothes or being a tom boy, but going the whole nine yards, surgically transforming your body to be the sex you want to be. No surgery as good as it makes a man look can make him totally and wholesomely the woman he wants to be. God cannot be mocked. As long as he has no set of ovaries or a uterus planted in him, and has no ability to go through the monthly period, or carry a baby in him, a man is really still a man, who happens to make good physical impressions of womanhood.
Chaz Bono after her Sex change
I look at Chaz Bono going through her transformation to be the Man she wants to be and my soul searches for a reason for that. I hear stories about how tormented they are, and how trapped they feel in their bodies, and how free they feel when they transform to the opposite sex. I'll say it again... i still can't understand. Thank God I've never had to be in the place they find themselves, a place of struggle and uncertainty. That's something to be thankful for. I would never know or understand how they feel, but it must be terrible to go through such drastic transformation and having to deal with judgment from people.

Does it mean God is a mean God? Letting them go through the emotions they go through and the changes? Why didn't he just let them come into the world as the sex they think they should be? Why would he punish them so if he loves us so? Of course i know it doesn't mean that, but sometimes we look for answers by asking all the wrong questions.
What do we say of transsexuals who go through surgery and all, only to later regret their decisions and try to have corrective surgery to reverse their decisions? One of such stories here.

Truth is, from reading such stories of reversion, i come to understand again, that no one is truly satisfied with the thing he pursues for peace when he eventually gets it. There's a peace like no other that nipping, cutting, reshaping, being different from the acceptable norms and all can never give. You change, become who you want to be, but your heart is still searching, free but not really free.

Things we never have the answers to.
I just pray many who find themselves with such internal turmoil and self identity crisis are able to recognize the one who knows all, who corrects all and who gives peace. I don't have an opinion, i just seat on a two way path labeled 'right and wrong'. I choose the path i see as rightness, not because i am wise, but because my bible says certain things, and i happen to be among those who are foolishly 'blinded' by the book. But then what does it matter, i don't understand some things, and so i refuse to be judged for my opinion.

I guess why i brought the topic of Clifford/Miss Sahara up here is because i feel a sting or two when i hear the words thrown at him where ever his picture is put up. I'm not in support of the choices he's made, but what happened to love? What happened to compassion? What happened to not casting stones?
As we go about making up vile words for people in Miss Saharas shoes and gays/lesbians and beating them up, lets remember that as unnatural and sinful as we perceive their choices to be (because the bible clearly speaks against homosexuality; ("...Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved. Since they thought it foolish to acknowledge God, he abandoned them to their foolish thinking and let them do things that should never be done." Romans 1:26-28), we pass judgment on ourselves as we judge them for their choices, because as long as we keep lying, sleeping around, gossiping, cheating, hating, backbiting... we are no different.(...full of every kind of wickedness, sin, greed, hate, envy, murder, quarreling, deception, malicious behavior, and gossip. They are backstabbers, haters of God, insolent, proud, and boastful. They invent new ways of sinning, and they disobey their parents.They refuse to understand, break their promises, are heartless, and have no mercy. Romans 1:29-31)

Lets stop being selective when it comes to using the bible and Christianity to judge. No sin is bigger than the other, a sin is a sin, wrong is wrong... don't feel too comfortable putting them in a 'different' category, because we're right in that box as long as we live contrary to Gods will as revealed in the bible. We will not be given a lighter punishment for not being gay, for sleeping with only members of the opposite sex.
Fact no one has called you out for moving in with your boyfriend doesn't mean it is right (or gives you the right to be nasty to others) I know it's wrong, but I've never called you a ho.... Like someone said on Twitter 'Jesus always condemned the sin but never the person! Judge not lest you be judged yourself. Rather restore in love.'

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Closest thing to crazy...

photo credit:http://ranunculusadventure.blogspot.com
I stood with my sister T waiting for the train on one of those crazy cold December days. We were going to the hummingbird bakery to order for a red velvet Christmas cake and then i had to go to Selfridges to pick up this gorgeous bag, not for me but for my other sister. She felt she deserved it, i felt she deserved it, and so i willingly played personal shopper/deliver girl.
I had a nice amount of cash in my bag and i also had her debit card in my wallet. I would be walking through the shops with no cash of my own, going to look at bags and all the other stuff i don't really need but think i do cos the shops have them on display. Have you ever been broke in London? Not just broke and indoors, but broke and going to the shops when thousands of shoppers are shopping and loads of shops are on sale? Some people break down at that thought.
I was in a jolly cheerful mood.

I had a wise crack which wasn't so funny, but worth voicing out, something about how it's easier to avoid mouth odors in winter, because we can see the vapor coming out of the mouth so you know where to dock to when a person speaks.
Before the words could come out, i burst out laughing. Oh my, i laughed so hard, for about ten minutes i was bent over, clutching my belly, and laughing my heart out. I couldn't stop. I was confused, because i knew without a shadow of a doubt that if measured, my joke wasn't worth the intensity of the laugh.
It was getting embarrassing, thankfully, i don't have the snorting kind of laugh :) My sister walked away from me to save her face. I noticed a few stares but i just couldn't stop. I would try to calm myself down to tell my sister the reason for my laughter, share the 'inside joke' but instead of words, more laughter poured out.

It felt goooooooood. But then i got scared when i couldn't stop. Is there really something like a laughing sickness? or have i gone mad?  Oh God, i can't be mad, i just can't and the more i tried to think myself through it, the more laughter spilled out, my ribs hurt, my cheeks ached, my eyes got watery as i kept laughing uncontrollable. The train came and i got in still laughing. Thinking back, i can't remember how i stopped.

But i loved that moment. It was like a loosening of knots i didn't know existed in me... And i kind of figured that i really was mad after all. The good sort of mad. I love Alice's response to the Mad hatter when he asked if he was going mad "I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are" 
I guess Mad isn't all that bad. Sometimes we're crazy even in the sane things we do, sometimes being crazy gives us the courage to do the things that ought to be done, like fall in love, chase your dreams and trust God amongst other wonderful things.

Life is really worth more than our worries and fears, more than our lacks and heartbreaks. Laughter loosens the knots within, makes us lighter, reminds us that nothing is that serious.
As i wrote this Proverbs 31:25 came to mind "She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future" 

Laughter truly is a gift. I'm glad i had that experience.  Go through life laughing.
 P.S Happy birthday to my sister Talatu. Even though she denies me in my moments of craziness, and sometimes drives me crazy, even though she's gleefully confessed to pinching me and giving me military training as a baby, i Still love her. God bless you real good.

Birthday girl and I. Our very own willy willy reenactment
We look decent enough when we're not scaring people... Laughing with no fear of the future..XoXXo

Friday, November 25, 2011

I'm a lover not a fighter

I'm lover not a fighter... sorry i meant I'm a reader not a hoarder.
But It feels like I'm changing in this relationship and i don't want to.
Been in London for the last couple of months and i am ashamed to say i have read just four books. Like 4... It's embarrassing. It's even sometimes a big struggle to read my bible, I've got the bible experience on my ipod and the whole youversion thingy, but i know there's nothing like the good old page flipping book.
Speaking of page flipping, i am very traditional when it comes to books. I want to read them off the pages and not from some screen. So no, i wouldn't be getting the kindle... Yet.

Went to Portobello market the other day and i realized i am this close to being a weirdo... i saw this vintage books and my heart did a triple cartwheel and then some. I wanted all of it, from first edition Hans Andersen's' Fairy tales,  Alice in wonderland to Jane Eyre. Twas crazy. I'm going to start a collection, it'd be something to give to my kids :)

These are the four books i managed to read in the last four months...
Can you Stand to Be blessed? by T.D Jakes You know that book that pulls you up when you feel yourself slipping and doubting and asking questions... This is it. Bishop Jakes is one of my favorite ministers. Love his practical way of teaching.
'In Charge' by Myles Monroe... Dr Myles was in my church and his preaching was pulled out from the pages of this book. I'm working on a project and its amazing how my line of thoughts are insync with his on certain subjects. This book wakes you up for real.
'The litigators' by John Grisham... I am a sucker for all things law. I pride myself in going ahead of authors and guessing how things end up, but this was different, i got the whole thing wrong, which was a plus for the book. A legal thriller with a sprinkle of humor.  I loved it.
'Room' by Emma Donoghue's . I know I'm a year late in reading this book, that's how bad I've become, but  my goodness, i laughed, i cried, and my heart broke some more as i read it. It is a compelling read. You start reading and your mind strays to the Josef Fritzl case, squeezing more emotions out of you and making the book seem so real. Room is written in the voice of adorable five year old Jack. You've just got read it.

I've got all these books in Lagos just seating down waiting for me to read them. I just kept buying before i traveled and never seemed to find time to go through one. Usually i read as i buy or I'd buy more than one at a time so i have one to pounce on as i finish with the other, but things changed and i kept buying and buying. Oh well, I'm slowly but steadily getting my mojo back. This year has got to be my all time lowest in the book reading department. I'll be pouncing on amazon for some new books.
Just a few of the books waiting for me back in Lagos.
I long for Lagos, just to be back with my books... oh, and of course for yellow chilli Jollof rice fiesta/obe din din and my shoes...
After all according to C.S Lewis “Eating and reading are two pleasures that combine admirably.”
PS: Thank you Jesus. Have you said it today? Thanksgiving should be a part of us, not just on the days the Americans eat the turkeys :) Happy Thanksgiving to my American readers.  

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

To tithe or not to tithe...

With all the arguments and harsh words thrown at pastors when it comes to finances. It is amazing how week after week, the aisles of the churches are still filled up with people, willingly taking their tithes up front to the altar, or dropping the envelopes in baskets passed around. You would think all that would stop with the many 'evils' the church has been accused of in areas of finances.

The rich accomplished man, the barely scraping it together man, the poor student, the office cleaner, the ivy league graduate... there seems to be no duress strong enough to keep the money in the pocket.
On your way to church and on the newsstand is a story glaring at you on how your pastor bought a private jet, and according to the reports, he used your money. He also used your money to build a school even you can't afford to attend, hiking up the fees to make lure you into a rage... but you shrug your shoulder, and smile about the outrage, step into church and give your tithe and offering and any other donation with joy. And people see you do that and call you foolish.

There must be something to this that makes the otherwise enlightened people to still choose to remain foolish. Whatever it is, i don't want to miss out. So if I'm to choose between the wise who refuse to be manipulated to tithe and give offerings in church and the foolish who keep tithing instead of going to the street and filling every poor persons purse with the money. I'll gladly stay on the foolish side.  After all, God uses the foolish things of the world to shame the wise.
If my money is helping buy three more jets, then let it buy... who cares? If you're in so much doubt as to the authenticity of the pastors and their expenditures, then biko... you haven't heard that God fights his own battle, let him be the one to judge.

We talk of feeding the poor. Do you know how many programs some of these churches run for the poor? but of course that's not worth blowing up the internet for. Maybe we'd feel their impact more if they stopped all the charity they do for a couple of months, then we'll know how for a fact they're making a difference. I know churches that have built rehabilitation homes for prostitutes, former druggies and street thugs, churches that send people out to teach skills as they teach Jesus, feed stomachs as they feed the word on the streets.
But you really can't solve all the worlds problem, even Jesus said we'll always have the poor among us. So if they take all your money to spend on feeding the poor, it really wouldn't change anything.
The church has to advance the gospel. The great commission of Jesus was to go into the world and make disciples. Isn't it amazing how the countries that brought Christianity to us have been so decayed, you have to dig through to find their christian heritage? Isn't it funny how those they helped shed the light on are now they same taking the light back to them.

Nigerian pastors are having crusades in foreign countries and you see dozens running to give their life to Christ. I have no problem with that. And personally i think having their own planes helps out a lot. We may question some of these pastors but as Paul said "
It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. The latter do so out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains.
But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.Yes, and I will continue to rejoice. Philippians 1"15-18

So some may wonder why we still remain foolish giving our money to the church... I'm sure Malachi 3:10 has been over flogged, so i wouldn't quote it. Those who give have seen the blessings, that's why the keep ignoring you in your wisdom and continue filling the church baskets.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

What to wear?

I was going to go shopping today. I needed a blouse and a pair of boots to wear with a skirt to church.
But the day went like it does and the closest i came to being outside was looking out through the kitchen window. I was kind of disappointed, feeling like i had nothing reasonable to wear on Sunday
and so i got to my room to put out anything that would pass. I brought out outfit after outfit and I realized that i actually had a variety of very nice, weather and church appropriate things to select from. I really did not need to go shopping to get a Sunday outfit.

Sometimes we go out looking for answers when what we really need is in us.
Sometimes we don't have to look too far to see what we've always been looking for.
Take your time, look deep within, and you'll find the answers.

***Speaking of wearing our sunday best... Some people actually frown at dressing up to church.  Personally, I never feel comfortable when i wear a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and i would never wear flip-flops for a Sunday service.
This doesn't mean fashion comes before church, but there's got to be a reason why we have to look decent, and nice and pretty on Sundays if we can afford to... I mean if i am going to meet with my king then i have no choice but to wear the best i have. If my best happens to be that one pair of shoes i wear every sunday, fine. If i can afford to change outfits, then better.
We wear the best to look the best for parties or social gathering with people of worth. We definitely wouldn't be wearing shorts or flip flops on a formal visit to the queen. We would dress in our best suits et co. So why not to church? Afterall we're going to meet with a king too, a greater one at that. Sunday feels like some official royal function and i have to look my best.
It only becomes a problem when all you're doing in seeking attention and trying to bait chics and dudes. Or when the church looks down on people who don't dress as nice as others. Or you stay at home, because you don't have anything new to wear to church, because A and B has seen you twice with the only outfit available to wear.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Mirror Mirror all around...

I love mirrors, it takes a lot to hold me back from checking myself out whenever i walk pass one... and it takes much more to help me act like i really don't care about checking me out.
Mirrors and i have an understanding, they tell me what i want to hear every other day... that's what friends are for right? Mirrors are my 'yes men', my 'wing girls'... Well that was before i met the magnifying mirror. Life has not been the same since. Those things make you deal with things you'd rather not.

I'm not so impressed that hotels install illuminated magnifying mirrors in their bathrooms, makes sure you don't miss any detail. I was staying at the Hilton in Abuja, my sister and i went up for dinner, and i felt 'badddddddd'. I really did feel like some babe, like i was all that and more. Then i got back to the room and there the mirror was, yes i looked good in the regular mirror, but the spoil sport beside it highlighted my flaws. In the 'flawless makeup' my pores were chocked, my eyeliner could have been better... and you get the picture? It certainly didn't look like a face of the hot girl i was forming to be,  more like a hot mess. Those mirrors make me want instant facials even when I'm broke. It's really not easy to hate them. I really don't need some things to be magnified.
photo source:http://thelipstickchronicles.typepad.com
But then i guess it's not all bad when you look in it before stepping out, you immediately begin to clean up and adjust your makeup which is sort of annoying cos it delays you, but then it helps keep you in your 'fine girl' mode.
Let's not forget the dressing room mirrors while we're on the evils of the magnifying haters. Many are afflicted with the dressing room mirror blues... saw someones comment on a forum on her dressing room blues "...I immediately wanted to run out and get lipo and full body plastic surgery! Who was that person in the mirror? Do I really look that way? Argghhhhh!"
In other mirrors we see our best assets, but in the dressing room, we see something else. Are those mirrors for real or do we look to others the way we see ourselves in the dressing room/magnifying mirrors?

Fact is as much as i hate the magnifying mirrors especially the illuminated ones and some of those dressing room mirrors around... i really do need them. The experts would warn to toss the magnifying mirror and let your esthetician be the one holding mirrors over you because if you don't, more often than not you end up going crazy at all the flaws you see and mess your skin up with the tweezers and everything you can use to pinch on it when you try to handle your pores yourself/play spa at home... i sort of agree with that, but whatever it be we still need to look in those mirrors whenever we come across them.

In life, we feel like we're good people, we feel like we're alright, doing the right stuff et co, but we need those magnifying mirrors in our hand bags and in our bathrooms... We need them to search our hearts regularly, because as much as we are all that and more, with noses buried in our religious attitudes, we really aren't as great as we are, this comment just kills it for me as a christian "I immediately wanted to run out and get lipo and full body plastic surgery! Who was that person in the mirror? Do I really look that way?"
We should look in that dressing room/magnifying Mirror that we hate so much, to see all the wrong that is there, all the things that need changing/correction. We should want to rush out and have some nip tucks in our hearts to make our spiritual selves better. To get back in the drawing room, adjust our makeup and loose some flesh in the right places to serve God better.
Paul warns "So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall!"1 Corinthians 10:12(NIV)

The dermatologists advices to toss the magnifying mirror, and let the esthetician do their job when you get to the spa. I'll use that advice in this context... Sometimes when we look in that mirror, we want to use the tweezers et co to pinch and break blackheads that somehow eluded our ex buddy, the regular mirrors. Rather than doing that and messing up our skin, it's best to run to the spa. In this case, call on the holy spirit to give us a facial, let him be our esthetician, to help change us, make us better and keep our spiritual skin glowing. Because we really can't sort our flaws ourselves, no man can change except with his help. We just end up being a hot mess, right back at where we started if we try to be better people on our own accord. Only the spirit can get us to be that person and at that place we ought to be in our walk with God.

Holiness takes a lot, those little things we take for granted end up forming clogged pores in our spiritual life and births blackheads on our beautiful faces, so that as much as we look pretty from afar, we're not that great close up and God is far from pleased with us. Lets try to do a check as often as we can. Our beauty is worth nothing if we don't make efforts to maintain it.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

When Love covers the hurt.

I was playing with my eight month old niece this morning.
She gets a little rough when it comes to playing sometimes, throwing things around and stuff.
I've receive a couple of slaps and some from her, but today wasn't a good day.
She used the TV remote control to give me a larger than life wack on my mouth. That was more painful than all the scratches and slaps she's thrown at me put together. If it was a cartoon flick, you'd have seen the tiny birds flying over my head.

I screamed at her and was ready to give her a... smack, pinch, bite?... But I haven't mustered the courage to smack the precious one just yet.
Anyways I was mad, but then I looked at her face and she gave me that lovely smile. I kid not, Mimi has got the prettiest smile I've ever seen. She had no idea what she had done.
Just looking at her at that moment took the painful sting away, and I hugged her and rained kisses on her face.

At that moment I realized how Gods grace is something we can never comprehend.
How many times have we drawn from that fountain of grace without even realizing?
Sometimes we hit him so hard by doing things we do and some of the things of we say.
Most times we're so unaware of what we've done, how wrong we are, and so we never tell him how sorry we are. We are not bothered.
But he loves us so much, that his anger/disappointment/piss off is overshadowed by his love when he looks at us,and sees us smile...
Smiling In form of a little prayer of 'thank you Jesus', or a song.... Or simply just smiling.
Thank God for the fountain of grace made available to us.

That's why we sing...
The steadfast love of the lord never ceaseth/ his mercies never come to an end/ They are new every morning/ new every morning/ Great is thy faithfulness O Lord/ Great is thy faithfulness.

When the Aliens take a Break...

 Lets say alien's choose to invade earth for their annual retreat or whatever it is they call their holidays. They're tired of Mars, Venus and the other planets and earth is the next option.
As a result, smart phones have been destroyed by whatever energy they bring down to earth. The internet goes off, and cable TV as you know it is destroyed. Back to the days of one channel... NTA.
iPads end up being just tablets in your hand with boring games that escaped the global connection meltdown. Everyone is forced to use the good old Nokai 3310/Motorola razor type of phones or wait a minute... that too is flatlined, there would be no texting. It's either you've got a landline or an 090 cell phone...
What is a person to do when aliens sunbath on earth and change life as we know it for a week or two? Here's a few fun'ish' things you could do...

You could talk to your friends face to face for once... have them spray showers of spittle on you while they talk(isn't that the joy of human interaction?). In doing that you would find out you're not so funny, because the more you speak the less they 'lol' or 'lmao' at you. It breaks your heart, because you really thought you were funny the way they responded to your every mail or IM with laughters. So the truth is they lied... no one actually 'rolls on the floor laughing their head off' when you say 'hi' to them. Infact they always use the *rolling eyes* emotions or an X_x when you update your status or chat with them.

You could have a genuine crush. You'll be free of the bondage of having too many crushes and being infatuated with a different face everyday.
No more pictures haunting you daily on fb... Pictures photoshopped so good, that even Ini Edo looks like Beyonce. You wouldn't be a victim of the deceit flying around the internet. You'll have time to concentrate on that one crush you saw fetching a pail of water from your neighbors well(because even the taps aren't running).
Just one crush at a time... like we crushed over Michael Jackson and Michael alone at some point in our lifes. We were faithful even in our crushes... Till we found the internet, and facebook. Now blow out pictures of random girls are easy to reach and fill out your bedroom wall.

You'll have a chance to redeem yourself from being a chronic stalker. Suddenly you can't stalk so easily. A persons life is no more just a click away. It's too much trouble and too expensive to follow fifty girls/guys around everyday. This bit makes you want to personally fight off the aliens, how in the world will you know what she/he wore on this day and who's saying 'hi' to them on their wall?
You can take your stalking skills and use it to monitor the milky way, and learn about it rather than just looking it up on the internet. Oh shoot, the internet. No more easy reach to those information that make you sound intelligent. Google is gone for good. The aliens may as well kill you. Now you really have to go to a library and memorize all those things if you ever want to keep your reputation of smart whiz kid in check.

You'll know your true friends, those who would call or go out of their way to find you just to say hi... With pinging and emails and all, everyone can be best friends. Because there's really nothing to it when all you have to do is bring out your phone when you're bored and randomly pick a person to chat with.

Your appeal will be tripled. The air of mystery around you would be so endearing... you may even have more people loving you, because no one gets to hear/know what is on your mind even when they don't have to because there you are updating your status every other minute. Suddenly you;re a mystery everyone is trying to crack.
Pre-Alien vacation days, you could just see Angelica slapping the maid and kicking the dog, and all you had to do to avoid getting a piece of all that karate was check your phone to see her status and know what's wrong with her. 'i chop beans today'  (and we all know when Angelica 'chops' beans, the evil spirit in her comes out to play) Post-Alien vacation you go analyze tire. No status updates to help you. But at least in analyzing, you get to exercise your brain.

You'll be able to eat and savor your meal like you should. There would be no taking pictures of the plate after ever bite. Table manners will be embraced again as you find the inner gentleman/lady in you.

You'll be humble and richer. No need for showing off, and life would be easier in those three weeks... no unhealthy competitions to deal with. Because well, you really only wanted that dress so you could take a picture and post it online for everyone to see you have it too, just like Odinaka did.

You'll be able to pray without distractions.

Me? I'd be more than happy to curl up on a sofa and read book after book, without having to reply mails, or take pictures of myself pouting inbetween page one and ten, or stop to stalk one or two people on facebook or see if there's a rerun of something on TV.

That's all folks. Have fun with the internet and all the technology available while you can... You never know when those aliens might need that retreat. :)

Monday, November 7, 2011

That man...

Today the judgment will be passed… I love how the media is eating this case up. There’s a live show straight from the court room, giving us an opportunity to watch the gentle, handsome troublemaker get served a nice warm plate of justice. I’m sort of disappointed with the way its playing out, the one who’s mouth has been running for the past three years isn’t even defending himself, there’s no lawyer by his side, and I can’t sight any of his family or friends in the court room. He’s just standing there and staring as the case against him is read out.  The articulate one is mute. The once regally dressed man looks so small in the presence of these people without his clean-cut blazer… yet he looks so big even in his smallness. There’s something unnerving about him even in that room. Maybe I was too ambitious getting out the popcorn to watch this… I expected another ojay trial or something.
If you’ve been watching TV in the past three years you’ll be familiar with this man. He managed to get under our skin and not get lynched for so long. You know the ‘makes me want to pull out my hair' kind of annoying guy. Another one of the religious ones. The self professed prophet.
Blasphemy… all over the Internet, on the radio, in the books and the papers, he was there saying all these things. Claiming to be the Son of God, like seriously? He really expected us to believe like we weren’t in the 21st century, smarter and wiser than ever… Yeah, so he performs the miracles, but that’s not new, we’ve got pastors and prophets who can heal too.
He says he’s the one the books speak about, the savior (yeah my thoughts exactly). You should have seen him on CNN last week, calmly saying crazy stuff. I wondered how even he really believed what he said. Daring to dispute the laws God gave us, bringing on his own philosophies on right living and God’s kingdom. Although I’ve got to admit, I’m impressed with his soft-spoken nature, not like those pastors that scream from the pulpit. There’s something about him that can’t be ignored even if you try too. That’s why the papers shoved him in our face every day, heated debates in the media on if he is or not. I guess we somehow managed to give him the publicity he needed without meaning for it to happen.
Rumor has it that he’s quite nice too… always giving stuff to the needy that go to him. He was one of the main sponsors of the most talked about wedding three years ago. I almost got tempted to attend the last crusade he organized. Who knows, I may have been able to score some money from him. The least I could get for going through the whirlwind he imposed on our life as we love it.
A good thing that most of the genuine pastors, the true men of God around have denounced him. There were times I wanted to cut him some slack, I told myself maybe there was a little truth to his claim, but then I looked at the people he moved around with and I gave up on him. A politician held a party in his honor, I wouldn’t name names, I’m sure you must have read about it. One of the dirtiest men in politics in our time, and this ‘prophet’ readily dined with such a vile and corrupt lot. I even heard, one of the notorious heads of the organized crime world had meetings with him late at night. And there’s the controversial lady, the ‘sex siren’ of Hollywood, she’s in his entourage too. She claims he saved her…but we know better. How stupid dos he and his followers think we are? Or maybe we really are? The edo jazz he got (I hear its actually Illuminati, some deal with the devil) actually worked on a few people. There are a good number of previously respectable elders following him like hungry dogs around the country.
I was only so glad when I heard the few true men of God had come together to do something about him, to stop him before he gets out of control. The arrest was a victory for the real soldiers of God; he somehow managed to elude arrest since he started with this madness, that jazz .
I’m watching the proceeding; my popcorn has a bland taste in my mouth. My humanity has managed to creep out. Something feels wrong about this, I feel bad. I can’t point a finger to what it is that troubles me; after all I wanted him silenced for so long. I feel bile rise up to my mouth as the sentence is given; it is what we have always wanted from the first day we began to hear his claims. But then it doesn’t feel right, watching it live in the comfort of my living room. i expected a gag order, a lock up... not the punishment reserved for hardened criminals... Crucifixion? Right now, I don’t feel like we have defended Gods kingdom on earth from the false prophet.
What if we made a mistake? What if he really is from God? I mean, what if? I can’t understand where this doubt comes from, I can’t understand why my heart feels like it has been broken. I watch as he is lead to where he is to be executed, a slow and painful death… Would a person take a lie to this length? How far would he go to protect a lie? And what will be his purpose? … It's hit me, I know the truth.

As the nail pierces his hand, as his scream jumps into my living room from where I watch, as the voice of the guards and the crowd taunt him, as the camera flicks pass his mother and one of the men he often appeared on tv with… as all this happens, my mind flashes back to the prophesies we’ve heard over and over again. "But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed."Isaiah 53:5 

'He was oppressed and He was afflicted, Yet He did not open His mouth; like a lamb that is led to slaughter, and like a sheep that is silent before its shearers, so He did not open His mouth.' Isaiah 52:7

'Because He poured out Himself to death, And was numbered with the transgressors; Yet He Himself bore the sin of many, And interceded for the transgressors.' Isaiah 53:12

'I gave My back to those who strike Me, and My cheeks to those who pluck out the beard; I did not cover My face from humiliation and spitting.' Isaiah 50:6
He really was, my heart feels like a load of steel has been placed on it, I grieve in sorrow at my ignorance, I weep for the pain he is going through. Alas, he really was. I believe, but am I too late? All he did, the little things creep into my mind... how could we have been so blinded by our arrogance and hardened in our heart that we refused to listen when we heard what he said. I'm still in shock when the electricity goes out, i look out of the window and there's complete darkness... I'm panicked at this occurrence and i remember another one of the prophesies ["And it will come about in that day," declares the Lord God, "That I shall make the sun go down at noon And make the earth dark in broad daylight."] Amos 8:9

Alas, he is.
(Matthew, Mark, Luke, John)
What would be our reaction if Jesus were to walk the earth today? With the social media hungry to crucify people for as little as speaking about yourself, I can imagine how words would be thrown his way. I think he'd have it worse than he did in those days. I mean they didn't have the internet or technology like we do, so we haven't heard half the insults from people who spoke in their homes at dinner time... well today everyone would be online commenting.

Some might think they would treat him better, they would believe if he lived in our time, but you never know. I'm glad i wasn't alive then. In a world where we've been taught to distrust, cautious can't even begin to describe how i'd feel when i hear him talk, even if i get the thug of knowing he speaks the truth, because honestly? Sometimes i read the books of Mattwew, Mark,Luke and John and i'm amazed at how he spoke. There's just something about it that'd have pricked me when i turn on the Tv and see an ordinary man, a son of a carpenter from 'Agege' say all this things in a way that i did view as arrogant "i am the bread of life.... no one can come to the father except through me...." and many more of those statements. The disciples and those who followed then were definitely high on some spirits to believe...

Thank God for this grace, for creating me in a time when it'd be easy for me to believe. I know many of us must have cursed the Pharisees and all those who were part of the physical suffering Jesus went through.
I mean who would watch the passion of the cross without feeling like yanking heads and giving slaps? But think about it... Have you believed now? What’s your reaction to the preachers who tell you the word as it is? Have you gone about doing the things Jesus spoke against?
For the same way the jews treated him then, we treat him now. For every message of salvation we reject, for everytime we go against his love, for every time we fail to love... we spit on him, we send the nail deeper, we break his heart and we tell him he wasted his time, we still don't believe.
So yes, watch the passion of the Christ again... see the wounds, see the bruises, see the spilled blood but don't curse at those who did it, we might as well curse ourselves, for we bring those moments to life, mocking him continuously as we ignore his call.

Thursday, November 3, 2011


I remember when Uggs sheepskin boots became popular, E was all about showing celebrities wearing them... I was at a loss why anyone would want to wear them, they looked so ugly and they cost so much. I just couldn't imagine why anyone would spend so much on something so hideous, be it sheep skin or not.

But then i changed my mind when i knew what was really up with that ugly piece of beauty. Truth is you'll never understand why anyone would own a pair or two of ugly Uggs (especially when you live in a place with tropic climates i.e Nigeria.) until you cautiously put one foot in and then the other on cold cold winter, fall and even spring days. The way it embraces your feet, the softness of its inside and the warmth it sends all over, you almost want to find the sheep used and give it a kiss for it's precious sacrifice for your comfort. And added to that walking in it is just so comfy... bye bye swollen ankles and frozen feet.
A cozy pair of treasure. It's literally the answer... to whatever questions you have on a cold day.(whatever that means)

A male friend of mine still can't understand why ladies wear Uggs, he says they're so ugly and unflattering. Why would we not care about that? I tried to explain, but truth is, you can only feel the beauty of what it does, explaining would do no good. You wear it to be comfortable on care free days and other days in between, it's not about the fashion, it's about it's purpose... Some ladies still wouldn't be caught dead in the 'hideously' Uggs, because anyone with a sense of style wouldn't dare... but what do they know?

Salvation looks ugly to those on the outside. Sometimes you see born again Christians and you wonder how on earth they choose to live the life they do. Why would they give up so much for it? Truth is salvation comes with a price; that's dying to self...  it's expensive to some... it may cost you your popularity, it'll cost you your cool factor in the world's eye, it'll cost you your idea of what your Mr right should be... sometimes it'll cost you your family and your job and your lucrative(not so straight) means of making mad money. Why would anyone give up/spend so much on something that looks so unattractive to those who are clueless?

Why wear those Uggs when you've got a wide variety of beautiful fashionable leather boots? Like with Uggs, you will never know how special salvation is until you get into it. There's no proper way to explain the feeling you get when you cross over to the other side. The way it warms you up, the joy and peace that fills you even with the chaos all around you. It makes you feel cozy and just takes you over in this cold cold world, you'd never want to live without it... you want to wear it with every outfit... its amazing. And then you think of the one who was sacrificed for you to have all that, like the sheep used for your Uggs, and all you want to do is hug him and kiss him with the songs in your heart.

Salvation is comfort, you wear the garment of righteousness to be comfortable and carefree in your everyday life and everything in-between.

It may look ugly to some, without the glitz and glam of the worlds idea of the Cool factor, but the purpose it serves is the most beautiful thing you can ever experience. It can't be described, it can only be felt... you should try it.
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