who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Friday, November 30, 2012

Who Wore It Better?...

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We were going out for lunch; my sisters, my nieces and I. I wore a kimono jacket I bought about a year ago from H&M, but had never worn. On my way downstairs, I peeked into my sister’s room only to see her wearing the same jacket; we bought it at the same time and had never used it, stroke of luck, we both chose to wear it on the same day. 
There she was the first-born, dressed in the same outfit as me the last-born. You know how we get upset when we find people dressed up in same outfit as us at events… if we had our way, we’d rush home to change. (I still can’t figure out why. Are we so insecure with ourselves that we can’t stand to see someone else look just as good?)
I volunteered to change… because well, she’s older and fate had dealt me the card to bow out of this match gracefully. My other sister, who thankfully wasn’t wearing hers, asked what the big deal was in being dressed alike? And so we went out and had a lovely meal. I was relieved that I didn’t have to dig through for a change of clothes.
Sis and I in H&M Kimono Style Silky Jacket
 We both rocked the outfit. Same jacket, styled with totally different accessories and pieces, but the end result was great, we looked beautiful :D.  It didn’t make her less than she is, and it didn’t make me any less than I am.
Who rocked it better? As the fashion police would ask. No, don't answer that.

Wear your blessings.
God’s blessings are the same, but interpreted differently in our individual lives, the end result is always to bring glory to Him.
Look beautiful wearing Gods blessings. Rock the look; don’t hide in the corner sulking because God has blessed those around you as much as He has blessed you. Don't go round mouthing Joan Rivers words "*&%$ stole my look".
Sometimes you see people in their one bedroom flat with as much joy as those in their mansions. They aren’t disqualified from enjoying the joy of the Lord because of their location or lack.

Have you been blessed with a passion for baking? Then bake. Don’t fold up because there are countless other pastry chefs in your town. You all are unique, and you accessorize/spice up your craft in different ways that appeal to different people.
You’re an events planner? Then rock your trade with pride and joy. Don’t be discouraged because there are a truckload of others in the game. Learn from them, share ideas. Develop your unique style. Don’t close shop.
You're a writer? Then write. You've got your own style different from others. 
You don’t see McDonald's folding up because Burger King makes burgers as well. Nope!!! It also doesn’t stop the smaller burger shops from springing up… that’s why we’ve got Uncle Sams, amongst numerous others thriving in the face of the bigger names. You don’t see the wealthy McDonald's closing shop because there are other smaller fast food restaurants springing up. My sister is older than I am, doesn’t mean she cant wear her outfit because we’re not ‘mates’.

Flotus Stole my look: Michelle and I in Asos midi Check Print dress.
 I don’t see Michelle Obama, the FOTUS folding up her dress I don’t see myself folding up my dress because Mrs. Obama happens to own a pair as well. We wear it in our own different styles and come out looking good in our own different ways.
Same way we’ve got different churches and ministers of the gospel. They wear the garment of the message of salvation, but they style their overall outfit of delivery in different ways. Bishop TD Jakes Potters house isn’t going to fold up because Pastor Adeboye’s Redeemed church of God is preaching the gospel. They both step out in style looking good in their different styles.
The bible has a dozen different interpretations. The message is the same, but the way of interpreting is different, to suite different minds and different ways of understanding. It doesn’t make it less of a bible.
Kate and Pippa in Issa silk wrap dress source
If you never want to wear the same outfit with anyone, then you best not shop in the stores with ready to wear outfits, you’d have to make your own customized clothes all year round or take a nice holiday away from life.
The blessings are available to all; raw talents have been equally distributed. As we walk through life, we catch a glimpse of what we love on the mannequin of life's purpose, and we go in to grab at it, develop ourselves in this passion and grow from it. Some others don’t have same taste as you and would over look what you are drawn too, till they find what suites them in the next display… Some discover their passion for poetry, others football and yet another singing. That’s the beauty of life… the diversity in the similarity of our blessings.

Same way the Holy Spirit is one outfit, and those who choose to receive Him are styled differently…. We all have our calling in the body of Christ. Wear it with thanksgiving and stop being petty about seeing others walk their path.
Ephesians 4: 5-7 There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, and one God and Father, who is over all and in all and living through all.
However, he has given each one of us a special gift through the generosity of Christ.
Nina Dobrev and Bernadette Peters in Donna Karan Source
Ephesians 4:11-16 Now these are the gifts Christ gave to the church: the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, and the pastors and teachers. Their responsibility is to equip God’s people to do his work and build up the church, the body of Christ. This will continue until we all come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God’s Son that we will be mature in the Lord, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ.
Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth. Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.

Out of the same paper, You can make a book, a ticket, a boat or a plane! Your Destiny Is not what you get but what you make out of what you have. Unknown





Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Pressing Into His Presence...

Don't you love it when you attend an event and you see that wealthy and influential ‘big’ man/woman you know(and off course they know you as well)? You go to greet him/her and the reception is so warm, you have a nice conversation with a few respectful back-slaps. It’s really a big deal especially when it comes to showing off to the onlookers who underestimated you before…(Yes, shameful i tell you) Sometimes you're lucky to leave with an unexpected, but much needed cash gift, a subtle exchange of envelopes between the PA and you(if you're in Nigeria that is)…  and a very sincere expression of dismay at the fact that you don't come around them when they could be of help to you and a sincere invitation to come over to the office when you want to. This would be great only if the protocol around this person wasn’t crazy.

I went for a function and saw this 'influential' man. After a very warm reception and a spirited conversation. I requested(more like demanded) for a meeting(not like i had an idea what i wanted to discuss, but seize the moment they say)… He said of course I could stop by, just get to one of the Personal assistants and he’ll make it happen. Now it’s that easy right? Only this PA would make things difficult, you call one day and he picks up and gives you some flimsy excuse and a time to call back, you call at the time and he says meet up, you sigh in relieve, finally!!! Only he just wants to use it as an opportunity to have lunch with you. You get angry and pissed, choosing to forget about seeing the 'oga' altogether. It doesn’t matter that he’s nice, and he sincerely gave the invite. The stress of meeting up for the bigger deal is just not worth it, the staff/protocol around him choose to make things difficult for those he's invited. They use their position for their own personal gain/pleasure, to extort and to gain dates. Thus you resign to faith and hope you'll meet him at the next meeting or wedding or dinner and carry on from there.

We go to church and we meet with God. We’re all excited about the preachers sermon, and we feel so close to God in that moment. It’s easier to pray to Him and talk to Him and feel like He’s giving you special attention during the service. You leave church feeling blessed, with a lightened heart and a free pass to visit him whenever you want to. The goody bag of meeting with a big man
But when you’re ready at night, when you hit the floor and get ready to pray, you meet obstacles, you remember to do this and do that… you think of this and that, get distracted by your blackberry and lost in some day dream, right before you sleep off. Breaking through the resistance and protocol of sleep and distractions to get to Him in prayer can be a pain. Remember, when you met Him in public, He gave you a blessing, how much more will He give you when you meet Him in the privacy of His throne room? (Mark 11:24 "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.")He’s so easy to approach and talk to, if only they’d just let you in.

You've got to push through the resistance, stay kneeling/sitting and keep calling on the Holy Spirit to lead you there, He will. And once you’re in His presence, you wonder why it was so hard for you to get through to Him in the first place. You feel such a peace and a joy, that it’s all worth it, the fighting off the protocol of sleep and distraction pales in comparison to what you get in there. A president whose aides keeps you away even after he's asked you in... but when you get in, the reception is so warm, and you're dining with the king, you forget what the struggle felt like.

Jeremiah 29:13 "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."


Like going to some exclusive club, the bouncers try to make it hard for you to get in, even when you’ve got all the money to spend. Because its exclusive, you do all you can to get in and rub shoulders and be written about in the society page… How you cajole, bribe, and probably fight with the bouncers is the same way you should do all you can to get into Gods presence. (If you understand this analogy better…here’s a raised eyebrow for you. What in the word are you still going to clubs for?)

Likewise, the protocol of not knowing the right things to say in prayer is such an obstacle. Sometimes we may be clueless as to what to pray about, just like i had no idea what i wanted a meeting for, but don't let that put you off. Just start having an honest conversation... be sincere about your uncertainty of what to say, be sincere about how inadequate you feel, be sincere about how your day went and in confessing your sins. (after all God knows our heart, we may as well tell Him what we're thinking instead of trying to hide it from Him.) Give thanks, there's always something to be thankful about, fact that you're breathing is enough to be thankful. It helps a lot to be able to pray in the spirit. It breaks the ice of not knowing what to say, more like, how a mans tongue loosens up after he has thrown down a shot or two of whiskey. Sometimes, following formulas for prayer makes it more of a religious exercise, than a sincere conversation and relationship builder between you and your God, thus making it a tedious exercise.(Matthew 6:7 When you pray, don't babble on and on as people of other religions do. They think their prayers are answered only by repeating their words again and again.")
 
Prayer time is battle time, if you don’t press to be in His presence, you’ll keep postponing prayers, till you discover you no longer have a prayer life. You've got to be strong enough to fight through the selfish, self appointed protocols that stand between you and your prayer life. Use all the connection you can lay your hands on, the Holy Spirit and music... the right music finds a way of ushering you in unannounced, before the protocol can waylay you. I’ve noticed the moments I fight my way into prayer are one of the best prayer times ever. Not like every prayer time isn't special, but the ones that you pushed through to get to, seem to have all sorts of awesomeness attached to them.

 Start pressing!

Thursday, November 22, 2012

This and That...

Be real!!! Down to earth is great, but If you're going to come down to earth, then make sure you have a steady supply of anti-bacterial gels. There's loads of germ down under yo!

Perception!!! Double check when you think he/she's stooped to conquer. You never know when one has a need to ermm poo poo. Don't let desperation blur your vision of reason. Wise up or get played. Things aren't always as they seem. Well sometimes they are... Oh snap, life and it's complications :)

Irony!!! The smarter the technology, the dumber the people. It seems people loose common sense when they type into their smart phones. I have seen great men reduced to nothing by their gadgets or more like, gadgets exposing our ignorance?( i.e Nigerians and blackberry broadcasts)

Dream killers!!! No, not those friends that kick you out of your unrealistic dreams... Like when you keep insisting that you're sure you're some distant relative of Dangote, and he's been looking for your father, his favorite cousin for ages, to give half his kingdom to. Take it in good faith when you're hit on the head.
I mean those who wear the pessimistic crown, who never seem to be excited about every goal you score. Think arsenal finally winning a cup(yeah right) and their biggest fan showing no emotion and giving them a 'yimu'... Surround yourself with people who believe in your impossible dreams(not the dangote sort) That's being one step closer to achieving.

Priority!!! Put God first in all you do, and He'll be the perfect gentleman, opening doors for you to walk through. He wouldn't let you fumble with keys and pick on locks to enter the fullness of His kingdom. He's cool like that.

Due Process!!! Manufacturing of products have to go through the production line for a perfect finish. Each step has been thoroughly thought out, and if you're foolish enough to skip a process to save time, you'll get a flawed finish, and you'll have to go through the process all over again(wasting more time).
There's always a heavy price to pay when you skip the process. Instant gratification is not worth the price you pay. There's a greater glory in the end for those who are patient. Sometimes, when you stick with God, you loose the instant gratification of promotion, financial gain, early marriage etc. You go through the dungeon like Joseph, but in the end you wear the kings signet- ring. Are you waiting on God? Then wait!!! Yeah, easier said than done, I should know... But wait anyway.

Grey areas!!! You know the areas of life that aren't spelled out in black and white in the bible? Like smoking, drinking(the bible only warns about getting drunk, not drinking) Remember this when in doubt.
1 Corinthians 10:23 ' All things are legitimate [permissible--and we are free to do anything we please], but not all things are helpful (expedient, profitable, and wholesome). All things are legitimate, but not all things are constructive [to character] and edifying [to spiritual life].'

Got Jesus? Yeah I know you go to church. But what does your twitter timeline say about you? Things you tweet and retweet? Books you read? Is '50 shades of grey' next to your bible on your night stand?... Don't be a medium rare steak. Stay raw or well cooked. God loves a well done fine meal. Don't be spat out.

That's all folks.
Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

*Sigh*...

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One of the ugliest sounds technology ever produced is that of an ambulance. And the scariest nature has given, is the sound of a sob that spills over from the pain of the heart, not loud, just an unsteady rhythm of grief spilling out from deep within.
Sometimes we celebrate death. Like when I lost my granddad, it was a celebration of life, we danced, we tried to rejoice, but the truth is, we cried, our hearts were torn. It doesn’t matter that he lived a long life and he enjoyed love from his children and grandchildren, all it was to us was the fact that he was no more. So in the falseness of celebration, our hearts grieved.

I was at the requiem service of a family friend today. I wasn’t close to her, I didn’t know her well… but my goodness, the pain was real. All it takes to break your heart is the sight of the family trying to be strong, even when you know that they have no reason to stay strong, because really, she wasn’t as old as my granddad to use the cover of ‘celebration of life’… she had a full life ahead... You ask, where is the 'abundant life' Christ promised us in all these? She was planning a wedding, something most girls look forward to, hitting that mark and probably so excited about it… many things to make you wonder, and question.
I sat in the church I grew up in, sitting next to mum, looking at the box that held her once living body, balanced at the spot daddy’s coffin sat at some years ago. Sitting in the pew to my left were the parents of a friend whose corpse stood at the same spot last year and all I could think of was how this could have been me four years ago… It could have been me.

There are so many right words to give a grieving heart, right words that end up planted in the wrong season, thus you don’t have a fruitful harvest. How do you tell a mother who's lost a child that ‘she’ll be fine’ when all she can feel is pain no one can imagine? One that can't be compared to the 'mere' cramp the labor room threw at her. What do you say to brothers and sisters who just lost a sister? A part of them?
You can only pray for them and allow them grief, and after they have, you can say the right words… the words that many don’t understand, but is deeper and truer than we can ever imagine “It is well”, because truly, it is. 
You will laugh again, you would cry sometimes, you would have great memories, and you will be hit with such pain sometimes when you remember that you've lost something precious... In all that you will live, and you will heal and God's comfort will strengthen you, and you'll wake up one day, wondering how you survived those first weeks and say to yourself "it is well indeed' and you will find a place in your heart to be thankful. 
Of course you can't imagine being thankful for the loss... but you'll be thankful for the grace to move on, to survive, to smile again....

I’m thankful for my life and that of my family. I pray no one has to go through such a loss. If we are brought to a place of mourning, then it should be a grief that can be masked with a celebration of life theme. With long life will He satisfy every one of us and our families.
And to anyone reading this who's grieving, all I can say is, as hard as it is to understand why He let you go through this pain, God loves you so much and All will be well with you indeed.

Monday, November 19, 2012

The Attack...


I jumped out of bed when I heard my mum's voice on the phone. I knew it had to be something, who calls her at 2.30am? Sure enough it was my aunt on the phone panicking. There was shooting outside her gate. Gunmen exchanging fire with her security. She couldn’t get her husband who wasn’t home or the head of security. She was clueless as to what was happening as she spoke.
Now this was shocking to us. Both times we’ve had robbers storm our home, we’ve called her to send security. She’s our backup. Thus this was a strange turn of event, we relied on her security and now she was relying on us, and unfortunately the response squad numbers my mum had, went with her missing phone. We made frantic calls that night, to numbers that weren’t connecting. We were shaking in the dark, punching in numbers to make us feel good, all the while trying not to imagine the scene there. Then I remembered God!!! The fear took over my common sense, that I forgot to remember the most important person to call in such a situation. And I got confident; my heart beat less as I recalled that His angels were on guard and our prayers act as a covering over the family.
If you have a sensitive position your security has to be extra tight, because you will be a target. Even if no one attempts to act on their desires against you, you don’t take chances. My aunt and her husband took chances; they had security, but not as much as they should have had.
What was amazing was the fact that people would dare to attack them, knowing the security in place (or they probably had inside info that it wasn’t as tight as it should be). What was scary was that the available security could have easily been caught off guard, since no one expected an attack. Anyway, long story short, the gunmen were not able to gain access to the compound, aunt and her household were all safe.
I’m so thankful it’s not a different story we recorded. I see the bullet holes on the gate and I’m only thankful it was just that. The attack has only heightened their security, made them more vigilant. 
As long as you’re in Christ, you have a sensitive position because you are royalty, and you are a prime target, like it or not. Sometimes, we feel so secure in our homes, with our armed security keeping guard. Who would dare attempt an attack on us? But then when has security ever stopped the devil from trying? He would attempt breaking into our hearts and throwing every attack he can at us even when he knows angels are on guard to keep us from stumbling… (Be careful if you think you stand lest you fall.) Who knows when he might get lucky?
And almost lucky he got with me last week. I was so discouraged and depressed for a few days. I couldn’t believe it was me, with joy and peace and faith that i felt i had. But I allowed myself get attacked. I gave access to the dark mood that hovered around me, and oh my!!! What a battle it was. Like my aunt called mum just for comfort in that situation, as strong as we may feel we are, we need those we can call for backup prayer when we feel like our security Is being breached, it doesn't matter if you're a pastor or a bishop, you need people you can call to strengthen you sometimes. No man is an island. You never know… be prepared always. Thank God I had someone to talk to as I felt my spirit battle with every negativity that tried to break in.
This attack on my spirit, my joy and my peace has served in giving my spirit a shake. There I was giving encouragement in The Dress post, but feeling like a fraud, so beat out that I couldn’t even get the word for myself. The post was for you as much as it was for me, in fact, it was specifically for me. But I failed to see it as mine… I was slack in strengthening my faith and encouraging myself, I was tired and thus I got attacked. But thank God for God and His goodness and mercy and restoring power. This has only heightened my desperateness for God. Taught me that even though great alternatives dance in circle around me, I have no other choice but to trust Him. 
I also learned that, it’s not as easy as I assume it will be to just fold up this garment of His salvation and walk away because my spirit is weary and tired. That’s a joy to know that He’s not going to get rid of me that easily… Only His grace has kept me standing. I know a dozen other ways that would give me the best result and the best life as the world dictates as fast as I want it. But I choose to wait on God even when I feel He's taking His time.
The attempt to steal my joy and my peace and crumble my faith has only made me heighten my security. It's made me desperate for more and more, and it's given me a fresh inflow of God's Spirit. The words of this song says it all "He touched me, O what joy fills my soul… Something happened, and now I know. He touched me and made me whole..."

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Boli

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****I wrote this about four years ago, it's been sitting in my draft folder... Don't judge me, I'm just a girl with a crave.
My body’s all shaky, the kind of shakes an addict gets when he’s got the itch for drugs. Yes I’m on drugs (well the prescribed sort of drugs :D) and it makes me shake and act all anxious sometimes.  The shake's worse than usual because right now, in addition to the effects of the drug, I’m shaking for boli. Like an addict, I cant stop thinking about that yellow piece of juicy heaven that was probably created with my name on it.
Hi, my name is Inyamu, and I am a plantain addict. I love it boiled, fried, mashed and balled up and yes roasted….
Yummmm!!! source
Haven’t tasted this bit of el’fq’dorado heaven in God knows how long… Can't figure out why when Adeyemo Alakija has got one or two boli spots, I have been denied this treasure..
A friend of mine/fellow blogger just returned from Abidjan, and all I can think of right now is to up and leave, stroll out of work, throw my jacket on my back and head out into the sunshine to Abidjan. She had so much fun, but nothing excites me more at the thought of Abidjan than her saying that boli lines it's streets. To me, that’s like a street paved with gold right now, my Midas touch, everywhere I turn and everything I see and touch would be boli, soft sweet hot boli.
Now I’ve hinted, help a sister out, if you live close to me(KA), work next to me (M) Would be sorry to see me go to rehab(kG) wouldn't want to sing at my lack of boli induced suicide funeral(O) Don’t want to blame yourself for my downfall cos you wrote about boli in Abidjan(Ada)... Then send some hot juicy boli to a sister like now, or tomorrow maybe? Sometime soon, probably? But not too late cos it might be too late. I’m suicidal people.
Oh and I’m not that cheap, throw in a cookie dough bluebunny ice cream with that….lol
It's real yo!!!… :D
I thought about breakfast as I prepared for the day and remembered the church declared a fast for that day. I was cool with it. I didn’t sigh in frustration at the thought of missing a meal. No big deal. That's till the devil made me pass through the kitchen on my way out… and what in the world!!! On the local grill was plantain, being transformed to boli. I squealed in delight, telling the help how happy I was, as i mentally made up my mind to wait for the boli before leaving home… Oh the delight on her face when she said in a sing song voice “aunty, fastingggggg” 
Oh dear, the sight of boli sent my memory strolling. I sighed and gave her a tight laugh, deep in my mind I wondered why she had to choose go to my church last Sunday of all Sundays… Why didn’t she go to her regular church? The universe was probably working to keep me in check for Wednesday fasting *sigh* With a heavy heart I stepped away from my throats idea of paradise.
If you don't hear from me in a while, you wouldn't be wrong in assuming I found my way to Abidjan already... It's four years over due.

Monday, November 12, 2012

The Dress...

I really wanted some dress from Tiffany Amber, and I was going to get it for myself someday. Then my dear friend got it for me for my birthday :). My day was on a Friday; he got it and gave one of his staff the package to send to me through a transport company on his way home after work, since I’m out of Lagos. He was confident I would get it on my birthday and even called to let me know he sent my dress. I was so excited about it. I kept checking my phone in the evening and getting a little anxious when I didn’t get a call from the transport company informing me of the arrival of my dress… (You only begin to seriously pray for journey mercies for strangers when you have a stake in their vehicle.)
It didn’t come and I kind of forgot about it till the evening of the next day when he called to ask if I got it and I told him I hadn’t gotten it.
He called his staff whose story was that he was unable to send it because of blab bla blab. Come Monday, he still didn’t send it. Now, I hate asking for things, but if you’ve promised me or told me about something, then its only fair for me to find out… like “dude I didn’t beg for the dress, so enough with the dragging if you didn’t get it, just tell me”. I was this close to thinking my legs were just being pulled for fun. That’s before he called me to say, he was sending to the shop to get another of the same dress for me. 

What’s the story?
 The staff who was given the dress to send couldn’t make it to the transport company after work, so he took it home. The rats in his house were excited about seeing something they’d only seen on the pages of the magazines they munch on, so the proceeded to have a bite of the delicate silk outfit that weekend. The dude took it to a tailor to patch it up before finally showing it to his boss... Like seriously.
And so it was that a new dress was purchased…  and so rather than send it, or drop it off at the house in Lagos to be kept for me, it was delivered to a friend who was meeting up with me in another state…. She flew the dress to me just in time to wear it for an occasion, feeling really pretty as everyone complimented me and no one knowing the true story of how the dress got to me, two weeks after it was to be delivered, days of dashed expectations and anger and forgetting about it. And there I was looking all glam. :D
 
This reminds me of Daniel… remember how he had a revelation and he fasted and prayed for understanding? It didn’t come until after three weeks of desperate prayers, when the angel came and said his prayer was heard from the first day, but he was attacked on his way with the answer. "'Relax, Daniel,' he continued, 'don't be afraid. From the moment you decided to humble yourself to receive understanding, your prayer was heard, and I set out to come to you. But I was waylaid by the angel-prince of the kingdom of Persia and was delayed for a good three weeks. But then Michael, one of the chief angel-princes, intervened to help me. I left him there with the prince of the kingdom of Persia. And now I'm here to help you understand what will eventually happen to your people. The vision has to do with what's ahead.' Daniel 10:12-14

When you pray, remember God's word says  "Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear." Isaiah 65:24 
Our prayers are always heard, and sometimes we get instant answers, sometimes it is delayed by forces we're clueless about, this forces could be anything from spiritual to ourselves(not being ready to receive what we ask for)...
"Daniel would have been cheered in his days of fasting and service if he had known that an angel was on his way to him to comfort him, and to communicate to him an answer from God; often - if not always - in our days of deepest anxiety and trouble; when our prayers seem not to penetrate the skies; when we meet with no response; when the thing for which we pray seems to be withheld; when our friends remain unconverted; when irreligion abounds and prevails; when we seem to be doing no good, and when calamity presses upon us, if we saw the arrangement which God was already making to answer the prayer, and could see the messenger on the way, our hearts would exult, and our tears would cease to flow. And why, in our days of trouble and anxiety, should we not believe that it is so; and that God, even though the delay may seem to be long, will yet show himself to be a hearer and an answerer of prayer?" Barnes Bible Note Commentary on Daniel 10

Are you waiting on God for something? Know that He's heard you... If it makes you feel better, keep knocking on heavens door after ringing the door bell till you get your answer. I've gotten answers to prayers I said just once and things I probably even forgot I ever prayed about, and I have gotten answers to some that i kept praying and bugging God about (Just like the situation with my dress) and same time I still have prayers unanswered. It gets frustrating when you have to wait, but i choose to focus on Gods faithfulness, knowing that He's heard me and my answers are on the way. All I have to do is look back and see what he's done for me. Surely I will see the Lords goodness in the land of the living. Thus I choose to believe I will be blessed beyond measure in my lifetime...
(Do you ever imagine what the scene in Daniel 10 was like? An angel of darkness attacking one of light, and then the great arch angel Micheal comes to the rescue :D Awesome!!! Hollywood would never capture that right) 

I got my dress. Daniel got his answer... It may take a while, but it'll surely come. Believe!

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Cars...

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I have driven some nice cars. My sisters cars, my BIL’s cars, my aunties cars, mummy's car, uncles cars, friends cars... bla bla cars etc. I have been driven in beautiful cars as well. Some exotic, some not.
You know moments when you drive ‘the' car and you walk out of a place and you can't wait to bring out the car keys to press the button and have the fab car answer to you… Yes!!! You drove that sleek and fine looking machine. You're so shameless about the fact that it isn't yours, as long as you're seen in it. I used a car from home and just my luck... this girl I only ever meet at social occasions with her group of stuck up friends(stuck up in my head that is) was driving side by side with me in her very very humble car on admiralty way... Yes, you know I had to give her a wave and a smile. She wasn't too happy about that. She and her friends would know to give me a little more respect after that day. (Yes i know, very petty of me lol... old things have passed away. Let me hear an Amen!!!)
A friend of mine asked me to drive his car once. I couldn't believe he would let anyone drive it, talk less of me! Some sleek Mercedes. Oh my!!! I was on fire, that car could moveeeeeeeeeee!!! It felt so good and I loved the way I looked behind the wheels as I drove through V/I. I tried to keep cool at the traffic lights or when we got caught up in traffic... You know there's that look on your face when you drive a 'correct' car. You've got one hand on the steering, you do a lean back on your seat, nod your head to the music and you look to your left and to your right in a kind of slow motion... (please don't tell me I'm the only conceited one out there) Even if you don't do it, you should have come across people who do in one of those killer rush hour traffic jams.
I’ve had my moments of shameless arrogance when it comes to cars ( which i humbly repent of), and they have been wonderful while the lasted. Just a pity that I have to hand the keys back to the owners at the end of the day. It still remains theirs. Even when i get a free access to whatever car i want, as long as my name isn't on the papers... *shrug* I know loads of people can recall 'my' car, because that's what i always used. Basically, it was technically mine, just not officially mine.
I wanted to get a car once. But i wasn't desperate enough to use my money on one. So i let all the cons of the cost of maintenance and the fact that I always had one to use discourage me. Now? I'm near desperate for a car of my own. Enough of the family business. For one reason or the other, I had to depend on people for rides these past couple of days, and that frustrated me. I know that the next chance i have to get a car, I'll grab at it without thinking twice.
What am i trying to get at? The fact is I have driven the cars, but the bitter truth is as long as my name isn’t on the papers of any of the vehicles, the effizy and effects I must have tried to pull all amount to nothing. The person who drives a lesser car, one you have to do a kung fu on before getting the door to open, still has it better than me, because he/she owns that car. Even the girl I was excited about seeing me in 'my' car is queen, because she owns her car.
I can ride in all the glitz and glam of Christianity, blog all I want, go to all the church programs, and be the capable hand in church… But if i miss the whole purpose of it, and my name isn’t in the lambs book of life, then it’s all for show and worth nothing. There's a time to pause and reflect... Am I riding on my pastors glory, my family's religion, my friend's spirituality and my ability to say 'bless the lord' on cue? At the end of the day, do I return to my home empty and devoid of a relationship with Christ till I meet up with the world the next morning in my 'Praise the Lord' garb, riding on borrowed grace and punching in words i don't practice on a website?
You see, the person who doesn't do as much as you do, who remains anonymous to the pastor, and can't memorize half as much bible verse as you do, has it better than you if he's sincere in his walk with God. Your gitz and glamor of religion, amounts to nothing if you're all for show with no true ownership of this gift of salvation. And the ones stuck on religion always happen to be the ones looking down on those holding on to a pure relationship.(Just like I kind of showed off to the lady in traffic)"Oh you're not a worker in your church?" *raised eyebrows* "Oh, you wear red lipstick?" *clutches chest* "Oh, you don't pray for five hours every morning?" *sprinkles holy water* "Oh, you don't know that bible verse?" *speaks in tongues*
It's time to concentrate on getting your name on the document, owning your own salvation and working it out with fear and trembling, rather than showing off in different rides of the mentality of 'works' as opposed to 'relationship' in Christianity. It's just not worth it. For my own good, I need a car... I can't continue to rely on the available cars from family. For my good, I need salvation... My salvation, not my Pastors, or mother or friends... not my blog posts and religious slang, true salvation of a transformed heart.
"our earthly friends cannot save us. No effort of theirs can deliver us from eternal death without our own exertion. Great as may be their solicitude for us, and much as they may do, there is a point where their efforts must stop - and that point is always short of our salvation, unless we are roused to seek salvation. They may pray, and weep, and plead, but they cannot save us. There is a work to be done on our own hearts which they cannot do." Barnes Notes on the Bible, Philippians 2:12 Commentary
I don't want to be technically saved, I want it to be official. Spirit, soul, body... no half measures. I just can't afford to live on borrowed cars and borrowed grace.
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