who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Sick Note...

I haven’t been feeling well. The last couple of days were… oh well; they were what they were, in Annie’s words ‘plain awful’. You never truly appreciate good health until you’re knocked down and you can’t get out of bed without feeling like you’re on a Ferris wheel and ready to throw up with each step. So I was down and weak, and I lost the desire to be my fabulous self. No thanks to Adam and Eve, clothes are now a necessity, and walking the streets naked even if you’re in your car is considered madness, the only reason I was always decently covered when I had to step out while ill.

How irritating the phone gets when it rings just when you’re able to escape the discomfort of illness in sleep, only to see a number from anyone who isn’t family. You don’t want to talk to anyone. 
Brushing my hair was a chore; talk less of putting on earrings, or lining the brows or perfumes... yuck!
When I have to go out, I just move. I have been a hot mess, but I can’t care less because there’s a disconnect, my mind is so lost in the weakness of my body, I can’t be bothered with what people think of me, I can’t be bothered with looking good when I feel terrible. Everyone knows something is wrong when they see me… because I let them know, by letting myself go, when i could make an extra effort to at least gloss my lips.

Isn’t it sad how life throws a sick blow at you and you don’t bother fighting back… you choose to look dull till whenever, and if whenever never comes, you choose to go with it. I’m obviously better to be on here writing. Thank God for every sign of improvement. I can’t wait to finish the malaria drugs and get moving.

So I was thinking how being ill is somewhat like when we fall into sin, rather than get up and face God, and get restored into His presence no matter how terrible we feel, we just don’t bother, we hide away, because our mind and body feels a disconnect from the Spirit of God in us. I mean Adam and Eve fell, and when they saw how naked they were, they hid themselves and covered up with the inadequate figs rather than face God.  They didn’t want to even talk to Him. When God eventually called them out, they were properly covered with animal skin (grace).

We choose to hide away naked after every fall, revolted by the garment of praise, so we cover up with figs of things of the flesh (going back to our old ways) because we think there’s no point. We choose not to spray the deodorant of prayers because we get nauseous at the thought of facing God and having a conversation with Him, we don’t even bother applying the gloss of grace handed to us… we would rather keep away and be a hot mess than try to face it and make ourselves be good despite our situation.
Yes I know It's only January, but don't despair if your resolve to walk with God this year has been broken over and over again. Don't give up just yet, naked isn't such a good look. Allow God to clothe you, He'll never tire of covering you up. Don’t let go of your fabulous spiritual life. You are still the righteousness of God; don't let go of yourself in such a way that even when people see you, they're asking ‘what’s wrong with you’ because you’re such a spiritual mess, walking around all covered up in flesh. Make an effort!

I promise you, this made sense in my head. I just can’t get that sense down in writing. Oh well!!!

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Beauty and the Beast

One of my favorite spoken word artist Ezekiel Azonwu took it up a notch and dropped some real beauty on this new piece, must have got some beasts groaning...

"... due to the impact, the spell was broken and it happened just like a movie, a Disney movie, cos when this knee landed, it became the most magical place on earth. And wedding bell was beyond the sound, it was my dream becoming a reality, now i realize my story was just a low budget remake of the original scene. Once upon a time, before we met him, we were beasts...."
*finger snap*


Thank God for His love. A love that is so magical, it puts every fairytale to shame.

Monday, January 21, 2013

The Wolf And The Easter Eggs...

I played a game when I was a child. I had to Google it to find out what it’s called. *A minute of silence for the awesomeness of Google*  Apparently the game is called “who’s it". I grew up in Nigeria, and I’m pretty sure I had no clue about the words, and I may not have called it Easter eggs, probably ‘an assistant egg’… but what’s the point in shaming my awesome self at this stage… I mean “sandalili’ anyone?
Back to the game. Everyone in the game was an ‘Easter egg’ residing in a big circle drawn in the sand. Each player chose an egg color to represent. Standing within that circle was our safety from the big bad wolf that was played by an unfortunate person.  Mr. wolf wasn’t in on our picking colors, so he had no clue who represented what. It was his/her job to call random colors and be lucky enough to get a color in the group. The game went like this…
Mr. wolf: Knock knock knock
Easter eggs: Who’s it?
Mr. Wolf: Mr. Wolf
Easter eggs: What do you want?
Mr. wolf: An Easter egg
Easter eggs: What color?
Mr. Wolf: Color green
Easter eggs: (screaming) NO GREEN (relieved that you haven’t been picked)
And he’d call out more colors.... It would go on like this till he gets to a color that actually belongs to someone in the circle, like red or blue and the unfortunate color blue would have to step out of the circle and try to outplay the big bad wolf as he chases after you… you do all you can to avoid being tagged till you can find your way back into the circle, then you’re safe. But if he gets you, you become the wolf. No one enjoyed being the wolf, or rather, I hated running so I never enjoyed being the wolf, I just enjoyed staying in the safety of the circle and cheering any Easter egg who was unfortunate to be the called on.
The circle was our safe place against the wolf. As long as we were in there, the big bad wolf could only talk to us and try to lure us out with our color.
Some times, the devil comes knocking like the wolf, and sometimes we feel like we’re smarter than he is, thus we answer him when he knocks and engage him in conversations instead of sharp retorts, we roll over what he says in our head, thinking how not so bad it sounds. We are smarter than he is, but his cunning shouldn’t be taken for granted… once he sees you’ve asked “what do you want?” after he’s told you who he is, once you don’t shut the door in his face immediately, he brings out all he’s got till he gets what he wants.
Devil: Knock Knock Knock
You: Who’s it?
Devil: Mr. Sexy and You know it… Let’s go on a date, I'll marry you lonely lady.
You: Sorry, no unequally yoked sexy brother can get me out of the presence of God; I’m staying in His shelter.
Devil: How about some greed. You know you need a new pack of weave, from the new shipment from Brazil, and you really need a day at the spa, hope you remember your favorite online store is going on sale this month… forfeit tithing for a little bit or date the brother for a week or two, he's loaded and will pay for the luxuries. Satisfy the material goddess in you and feel like a queen in your new hair and shoes.
You: Sorry, I’d rather forfeit some of these things till I can afford them myself
And he thinks, and comes back again, and again, calling out all sorts of temptations to you till he hits the spot… James 1:14-15 saysTemptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.” Thus the devil knows what spot to hit when you give him an inch when he comes knocking. Maybe nothing as drastic, but something as subtle as a memory from your past that stirs up hate and bitterness towards someone, that’s where the chase begins, the chase of temptation to fall, you step out from under the shadow of the Almighty, because you answered his call of unforgiveness, bitterness and anger.
Like the game, once you’re out of that safety, know the devil is coming for the kill, but you don’t have to die so Run!!! Run back to that safe circle where you dwelled in before you were lured out. Find your way back to your father’s arms as fast as you can. The only place that saves you from the death of sin. “The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.” Proverbs 18:10
Choose to abide in God's presence… don’t give the devil room to argue with you. Once you hear him knock and you peek to see him smiling and asking for color green, give a sharp retort “No green, get the hell out of here, we don’t want you, we wouldn’t serve you any color even if we had it… stop lurking, we’re not listeningggggg…. We’re praising so loud, we’re drowning out your voice” That should keep him away for a while, doesn’t mean he wouldn’t try again, but keep shutting him up as many times as he comes knocking, even before he feeds you with what your flesh has a weakness for. The shelter of God is too safe to risk stepping out for a game of tag with the devil. Remember, if you’ve been lured away, you can always run back to the shelter before your sin kills you.
He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust.”
Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler
And from the perilous pestilence.
He shall cover you with His feathers,
And under His wings you shall take refuge;
His truth shall be your shield and buckler.
You shall not be afraid of the terror by night,
Nor of the arrow that flies by day,
Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness,
Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.
A thousand may fall at your side,
And ten thousand at your right hand;
But it shall not come near you.
Only with your eyes shall you look,
And see the reward of the wicked.
Because you have made the Lord, who is my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place,
No evil shall befall you,
Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling;
For He shall give His angels charge over you,
To keep you in all your ways.
In their hands they shall bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.
You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra,
The young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot.
“Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him on high, because he has known My name.
He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life I will satisfy him,
And show him My salvation.” Psalm 91

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Eldorado Loves..... Bemyoda

Have you heard of Bemyoda (real name Bem Iordaah)?

The Benue born artist is an exception to the norm in the Nigerian music scene. A time bomb I'm waiting to see explode this year. His exceptional songwriting skill gets you hooked with each word he soulfully sings out...

I'm loving his two singles 'Faded Grace' and 'Shima Yam' which means 'my heart' in his native language Tiv.

You'll love him if you love Asa, Bez, Nneka, John Legend, Norah Jones and me. You'll love him even if you don't love any of them :)


Download the songs here http://www.reverbnation.com/bemyoda

Friday, January 18, 2013

On Google, Measles and Mind Power...

My cousin’s nanny had measles.
I was so sure my cousin had caught it before the nanny was diagnosed and put in quarantine. Every one confirmed my cousin was fine, but I was a bit paranoid, I was so sure she had been infected even as I let her kiss me and cough in my face as children do. I resigned myself to fate… I had been infected.

After a day or two of being weary about my 'infection'. I spent the night reading about measles. All the symptoms Google fed me with, I ate up. And it all made sense. I had been feeling unwell for a couple of days, had white rash like stuff in my mouth, rashes seemed to instantly appear on my face as I read, and I suddenly had a cough.  I stood in front of the bathroom mirror looking at all the visible symptoms. Comparing the white rash like stuff in my mouth with the picture online.
I was doomed with measles. I had a restless night, rescheduling my trip in my head. I went straight to mums room when It was morning.

“I think I have measles” I told mum
She gave me that look, you know, like 'you crazy', Something like this .....

“How can? You don’t even have a fever….” She said
Now that’s where she was wrong, I was happy I had some leverage against her nonchalant dismissal.
“I’ve been feeling sick for some days” I said smugly. Wanting sympathy, and an affirmation or some sort of support and advice on how to go about treating myself.
“Make sure you treat yourself for malaria before you travel” That’s what she said, with no emotion. Just like that, she dismissed the seriousness of the matter. Just like that, she brushed off the ‘illness’. How could she? How unfair... I am her baby!
I resolved to prove I had measles.
I went to a family friend who’s a nurse and told her I had measles… I was so convinced and all I wanted was for her to prove I was right. I desperately needed to know, so I could put off buying my ticket, I didn’t want to travel and spread the measles to my nieces.
But just like mum, she laughed and said “you don’t have measles”
I tried to tell her the symptoms and I emphasized on the fever… she ended up giving me malaria drugs.
I told my sister my worries and she nicely said it was probably psychological, sometimes your mind convinces you and you actually start seeing the symptoms, like how she thought she had chicken pox once. That kind of put my mind at rest. I went ahead to book my flight. I didn’t have measles, and the more I tried to convince myself that I was fine, the more I felt fine, and yeah, the fever left after I finished the malaria drugs.

The power of what we read is stronger than we can ever imagine. Our mind takes in and transforms our thought process which in turn transforms the way we view ourselves and thus we call forth things that weren’t as though they were, and somehow they become. This is faith working subconsciously. Unfortunately, we use all that energy on negativity instead of the positive. That’s why it says faith comes by hearing the word of God.(Romans 10:17)
If we pour through the word the way I searched Google that night, with such intensity and belief, and believed it as much as I believed that every symptom spoke to me and even begun to see them physically, then imagine how great our lives will be. When you read the word that says you are blessed, you are the love of Gods life, His friend, His righteousness, Royalty etc and you begin to walk like all the things it says you are.

“Our way of thinking creates good or bad outcomes.” - Stephen Richards
Most times, we allow peoples skepticism wipe the truth off our mind's eyes. Just like mum wiped that measles away(for good). Standing up to say you’re the righteousness of God to your unbeliever friend who just goes, “ abeg jor, you like this? You wey like woman die?. Abeg siddon make we shack one bottle” and just like that, the sermon from church is just a sermon, not refereeing to you. It doesn't stop with the unbelieving friends, even your saved friends have the power if you allow them, to discourage you from your dreams... all it takes is a word of doubt to shake your resolve. Be-careful who you share your dreams with and be-careful what you watch and read, they have a way of planting themselves deep within your heart and developing into plants of either negativity or positivity.
The bible says you are royalty… start seeing it and following the kingdom etiquette like a real prince/princess.
I love this confession Joel Osteen makes his congregation say before every sermon 

“This is my Bible. I am what it says I am. I have what it says I have. I can do what it says I can do. Today I will be taught the Word of God. I boldly confess. My mind is alert. My heart is receptive. I will never be the same. I am about to receive the incorruptible, indestructible ever-living seed of the Word of God. I will never be the same. Never, never, never. I’ll never be the same. In Jesus’ name." That's a confession that will eventually start manifesting itself in your life when you keep saying it and believing it.

"The angel of the LORD appeared to him and said, "Mighty hero, the LORD is with you!" Judges 6:12 Gideon saw himself as weak and suddenly God was calling him a warrior... it was hard to believe, but soon enough, he started to see himself as God addressed him and he went on to be a hero defeating the enemies of Israel. Is there a promise in God's word that you're claiming? This year, begin to see yourself as that which the word says... be drenched in it, till faith brings it to existence.

Like Donald Trump says "As long as you’re going to be thinking anyway, thing big" and I say "as long as you're going to be thinking, think positively" The mind is a powerful tool, don't misuse it. See yourself soaring and you will soar, devour books that speak life and wisdom to you and not movies or books that take away the little sense you've got and sends you jumping down buildings because you think you really are 'superman'. Stop feeding your mind with symptoms of measles that will begin to physically manifest because you're engrossed in it. And stop sharing the manifestation of your faith with people who'll only pour ice cold water to quench the fire of God's truth in you.

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." Philippians 4:8

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

What If...

All this Jesus talk is getting more than a little bit tiring. End times this, end times that and blab blab blab, like restless sheep at a towns meeting. Why punish yourself by staying away from all the fun all around you. Why can’t you curse and swear, and be sexy and do it all? What if it’s not even real (doesn’t stop you from going to church on Sundays though, just in case)

So, lets take a moment to think… what if?
What if it’s true?
What if we’re really in the end times and there’s a possibility that trumpets and raptures are a reality?
What if there is a heaven and a hell, that not exactly fits into the description of what we’ve been hearing but a hundred fold more intense in it’s pleasure on the part of heaven, and pain as of hell.
What if there’s really a God who hates the fact that we abuse alcohol and get proposed to on the bed of fornication even if we have debates every day on how there’s no big deal in living together with your partner?
What if cheating on your wife is really wrong? These days, you hear men giving single girls all the reasons why it’s ok. (I've heard a thousand and one justifications on why it's okay for them to date me :|)

What if all liars really go to hell? Even the white lie gets a heavenly frown.
And there’s judgment awaiting every form of cheating and shortchanging?
What if?
Have you ever stopped to think?
That one-day it’ll be truly over and you don’t really YOLO, because when it’s over, it’s only just beginning. There is life after death, and your attitude to the YOLO hash tag determines how pleasurable the after life is for you.
What if this Jesus talk is as real as it gets?
Just what if?
What if you only get to realize how true the truth is when it’s too late?
What if heaven and hell are so real and so close to taking their share of the people of the earth? In this case, it wouldn’t be a case of every one picking their gym partner and you being left out, everyone is picked by one side. No one is left in the middle.
What if there’s really witchcraft and it’s bad?… Sod the white witch, black witch, Harry Potter cool kind. It isn't as cool as Hollywood makes it out to be.

What if miracles are miracles and beyond all the intelligent logic you dig up to cover up the extraordinary things that happen?
What if?
What if we really aren’t stupid for choosing this life of dying to self and living for Christ and there’s truly a reward for those holding on to the end and waiting on the Lord?
What if?
Even in a world that tries to get rid of our truth and feed our hearts with lies and doubt about the existence of our God, I choose to be on His side, even if people ask us "What if it's all a bunch of hogwash and there is no God or heaven and hell?"
"I’m on Aslans side, even if there isn’t any Aslan to lead." Silver chair, C.S Lewis.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Surgery, Hope and Wholeness.

I watched a reality program on TLC, centered around 12 year old Marwa Naim from Iraq. It focused on her journey to get a new nose after a big chunk of hers was lost when an explosive hit her family’s home in northern Baghdad. She endured taunting from the kids at school and this journey would help in making her look normal again.
After a series of reconstructive surgeries by the doctors at Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center, Marwa Naim got her nose and her life back.
Before and After pictures of Marwa. Source here & here

My heart broke at her reaction when she looked in the mirror after the first surgery, she screamed and cried because her nose looked horrible. She preferred it the way it was before the attempt to make it better. It didn’t matter that she still had three more surgeries to go, all she saw was what she saw, a huge chunk on her face. I thought it looked horrible as well, but the doctors explained, that it would look worse before it looked better.
That statement struck a chord and got me writing this.

You’ve been broken and have had issues thrown at you. Have you handed it over to God? Gone to Him as the best surgeon for a reconstructive surgery? Well, if you have, it’s time to relax, knowing that He’s performing a reconstructive surgery on you… 
Maybe it seems like things are getting worse, instead of getting better even after you dropped it at His feet. You've looked in the mirror and screamed at all the things life has thrown at you despite your surrendering to Him.
It seemed like things were getting worse in the previous year instead of better like you expected. Don’t be discouraged like Naim was when she looked in the mirror the first time… In reconstructive surgery, it gets worse before it gets better. The recovery process inconveniences you and sometimes looks bad, but the end is perfect. You've gone through the pain and ugliness of surgery, you're now in the season of healing and wholeness and being fulfilled.
This year, your words will mirror Marwa Naim's words “Regardless of how hard it was to go through four surgeries, it was worth it.”

Embrace the joy of the New Year, the finished work of God in whatever situation you’ve handed over to Him. It may have been a hard time, but when He’s done with you, you’ll know for sure that every moment of waiting and distress was worth it.

Friday, January 4, 2013


Happy New Year!!!
I'm excited about Gods promises for the year... It's a year of the greater glory and I ain't missing out on all that beauty... So help me God.

I love you all from the bottom of my heart and I'm grateful for you, and thankful to you for being a part of eldorado.
I was going to do a video post, I actually did a couple of decent takes, but chickened out at the last minute. *sigh*
One thing I'm overcoming this year is my fear of public speaking... So help me God!

God bless us all in the new. Expand your tents and get ready to receive His blessings. We'll be celebrating a lot. Amen!

Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN
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