who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

The Grip Of A Shellfish...

Shellfish settles at the bottom of the sea, close to the coasts(well, from the little I know about them). Thus they are prone to be easily washed away by the pounding waves and regular surges of the ocean. To avoid been washed away, they attach themselves to rocks, with a grip so firm, that they can't be moved my the dangers around. That is their safety mode.

We live in a world with storms and violent waves and surges that are ready to toss us all around and leave us feeling worthless and empty and tired. What are you clinging to for support and safety? The pebbles of your family name or bank account?  Your beauty, your certificates and qualifications? Your talent?…. They may hold you temporarily, but there is a wind that comes, a wind that is stronger than all these things put together. One that they cannot protect you from. Pebbles are easily picked up and tossed about by little children, but you don’t just stoop to pick up a rock.

I have held on to pebbles and sands in the past. But today, I am like the shellfish… I cling to a rock, THE rock. The one that is called the Rock of ages. The one referred to as the Rock of my salvation… Jesus!
The winds have blown, the storms have come, but I have withstood them and I do not despair about the ones to come because I know who I have found my rest in. When the storm is over, there's nothing left of the wicked; good people, firm on their rock foundation, aren't even fazed.” Prov 10:25 I’ll Rephrase that verse… when the storm is over, those who cling to pebbles and sands are left with nothing, but those who cling to THE rock aren’t even fazed. They come out stronger.
God is so amazing, He teaches us lessons from all of His creation.

"These words I speak to you are not incidental additions to your life, homeowner improvements to your standard of living. They are foundational words, words to build a life on. If you work these words into your life, you are like a smart carpenter who built his house on solid rock. Rain poured down, the river flooded, a tornado hit—but nothing moved that house. It was fixed to the rock.
"But if you just use my words in Bible studies and don't work them into your life, you are like a stupid carpenter who built his house on the sandy beach. When a storm rolled in and the waves came up, it collapsed like a house of cards." Matthew 7:24-27(msg)
What are you clinging to?

“We fall at the feet of anyone or anything that might make us feel worthy...but it never works. Not for long, at least. Too often, we end up desperate and crying on the floor. We’re clinging to the wrong set of feet.” Michele Cushatt

Hold on to God, with the grip of a shellfish.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013


The only reason I agreed to go for the networking dinner was the food. Cocktails, small chops, and a Five-course meal…  like seriously, five-course, no joke! I wasn’t interested in the oily talk (it was an intimate dinner, with talks on the workings of the oil industry and opportunities to grab at within.) There were loads of top shots from the oil industry and the financial sector in attendance, the MDs and CEOs and the then minister of petroleum… 

I recognized a few faces from the financial institutions… but what I was desperate to introduce myself to, was the food. I could certainly relate with the food. I still don’t understand what it is with food and I… buffet to be exact, when in truth, I’m not such a foodie as I claim to be. I do not eat as much as I sound off.
I ended up greeting just one of the Ogas who knew me and after the awkward cocktail, which I duly networked with the small chops (because seriously, what was I meant to say to them? Little me? I was intimidated, even with my designer dressed to impress dress) I humbly looked for a table as far back as possible, away from the spot light, away from the big men and women, a table with one or two familiar and welcoming faces, a table that didn’t intimidate me. A table I could have fun on and eat without judgment. A table I could whip out my blackberry and do what people do when they fumble with their blackberries as they talk rigs and offshore and inshore and whatevershore that isn’t foodshore.
All was fine when one of the famous oil company MD’s took the stage as the MC. All was fine when he walked to some tables to pick random individuals to introduce themselves… We heard CEO’s and MD’s and all the big titles. All was fine because I was out of sight. All was fine until he stated the obvious; in school, backbenchers were those who didn’t want attention; those who hid at the back to avoid attention… 
All was fine when he walked on causally, like he was taking a stroll, making side comments about the back tables and inching closer till of all the backbenchers, he chose our table to stop at.
All wasn’t fine.
Now my sister is light skinned, so as uneasy as I was about this unwelcome development, I was relaxed that she’d be the unlucky one on the table, serves her right for having a color that attracts and distracts from us. And better yet, if she was picked, she belonged with the gathering as she had a working base in oil.
I tried not to catch his eyes when he stood over us making some jokes, which was easy to do as i was backing him. That didn't stop him from handing the mic over to me!!! 

My heart did a double flip somersault. Just talk oil already and let sleeping dogs lie.
I was not so lucky. 
Any closer the mic and my heartbeat would have been heard all over the room.
The whole room was quite, and all eyes were on the table, my table! I got up, sucked in my belly, glad that at least I had a nice tailored designer dress on for the cameras. If all else failed, my dress would give them something to talk about. 
I put my head up, stilled my shaky voice and introduced myself with my idea of swag, or more like with the voice of a scared mouse… I didn’t own any company; or work in oil. I had just resigned, so how do I introduce myself? Joke and say I’m the youngest retiree in the room? (Remember the food confirmed my attendance) But, if that was what it would take to partake in the meal, I may as well do it. I introduced myself with a self-confidence that would make you think I owned the stock broking house I resigned from, but conveniently said I still worked in (I promise, I lie no more).
I shook when I sat down, wanting to run out… After the introduction, the MD’s rushed over with their cards and I got offers from everywhere and I was an oily hot cake, and I was dropping business cards in my purse like it’s hot…. Now that’s how a story should end. But it didn’t end that way, it ended better… I still was able to eat after i was rattled. Now that’s a happily ever after.
Lesson from my story? Food has been known to put you in a tight spot since err mm…  well, ask Eve, she’ll tell you how she got it bad for a fruit.
Another lesson? Be overly confident, sit on the best forefront tables, let the cameras get you, when you act like you know what you’re doing, no one will bother with harassing you.
And on a serious note…
The best brains of the nation may be found on the last benches of the classroom” APJ Abdul Kalan

Today, we run from God, hiding from his will, thinking we’re not good enough, nor close to the weight of the pastors we see on the pulpits preaching or those we see making it big in our career paths… we walk into the cocktail of life with all the big names and creep to the back seats to sit quietly, thinking we’re not worth the attention of the world. All we want to do is have a part of the kingdom. Thus we hide, and with us hide our talents. 
When we hide, God still finds us, and singles us out and puts us in the spot light for Him… its up to us to make the best use of the opportunity He’s given us, unashamed and unafraid even in our fear… I mean we really want to be a part of His feast of glory we might as well do what we have to do while we enjoy it. Jonah in all his hiding was still (literally) fished out. 
You may feel irrelevant, hidden, overlooked by the industry and field you’re in. You may feel like the spotlight already has one too many people to bother with you… but God looks round, He walks to the backbenchers, and He picks His servants up from there, those He can use.
David was seated at the back of the class. His brothers overshadowed him, he was pushed to the background of the fields, but God reached out and found him in the field with his sheep and anointed him king. The fact that you feel hidden doesn’t mean God can’t find you. And if you’re running from His will, good luck to you, He will find you, even if it means leaving you at the mercy of a storm and fish to get your attention, He will… It’s just so much easier to suck your belly and behave like no shaking when you hear Him call, than run round in circles. Gideon certainly was no top shot, but he was fished out.
Lesson learnt... the back table isn’t far enough to hide you from the spotlight… there ain’t no place too far to hide from God.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013


Someone sent a mail to an email fellowship group I belong to, asking us to pray for a friend of a friend, she was a young lady battling with cancer. She put up a link to her blog, and I remember reading it and feeling so heart broken. I muttered a short prayer and moved on. I didn’t even remember her after that, not until I went through my mail some days ago and read that the young lady had died. I went back to read her last post and I don’t know what to feel. My heart aches… she was brave and I pray she’s now at rest in God’s bosom, but my heart aches. I never want to imagine what it felt like for her, what writing that last post meant, what her last moment was like. I hate to imagine, which is sad because my mind gets over itself and tries to paint pictures it shouldn’t be painting.

I pray for healing, for whoever is battling with any illness. I pray that the doctors’ report will be overruled by the report of the Lord, which says you are healed. I pray that He will show Himself strong for you and give you a testimony in the land of the living. I pray that you will prevail.
We are young, God has a plan, we can’t allow the devil creep in and try to deny us of the glorious future and hope God has in store for us.

And for those who are mourning a loved one. Remember how Job lost all his children and property? Remember how God restored to him a double portion of all he lost, but when it came to children, he had the same number? 
So the LORD blessed the latter end of Job more than his beginning: for he had fourteen thousand sheep, and six thousand camels, and a thousand yoke of oxen, and a thousand she asses. He had also seven sons and three daughters.” Jobs 42:12-13
Think about it. He gave double of the material things because they were really lost, but he gave the same number of children as Job had in the beginning because they weren’t really lost. They may be gone physically, but we haven’t lost them… 
May God comfort you in the way only He can. And remember you haven’t lost them…

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

The Boat...

Have you ever felt like you were wasting time while waiting on God and letting Him use you for His purpose? Use you to reach out to people for Him?
Sometimes I do. Sometimes I want to do more… Sometimes I feel like I’ve stayed still long enough and it’s time to launch out and do MY thing, even though I’m clueless as to what it is. Live wherever I want to. Fall in love with any of the beautiful men that make me laugh… live the good life where everybody knows your name, you’re popular and get to go everywhere you’re invited.
Sometimes it’s crazy…
Sometimes I want to write… and I sit down to put something beautiful down, something witty, because I really am funny or I can write funny… I think.
Sometimes I want to wow your minds with what I can do, but all I end up writing is Jesus! He just finds a way to creep in and I can’t turn Him down. Thus I stay still and let Him flow through me… even as much as I itch to write something else… anything.

Let me tell you a beautiful story. A man named Peter labored and toiled all night, in the peak of the fishing hour and caught nothing. Not his talent or his strength or his going out at the right hour could get him the catch he needed. And just as he gave up for the day, washing away the dirt the net accumulated; Jesus came to him and asked him a favor. He asked to use his boat, his source of livelihood to teach, to reach out to the people and he let him. Peter could have chosen not to, or he could have given an excuse, told Him he was tired from a fruitless labor or anything, but he didn’t. He let Jesus in and from Peter’s boat; Jesus taught the crowd that had gathered. I assume he must have gotten impatient at some point, I’ve always imagined Peter to be this huge, intimidating, impatient man … but with a kind heart.

He must have watched the other fishermen give the sea one more try before retiring, but he couldn’t launch out to attempt one more time because Jesus was using His boat, he wasn’t in control anymore. Maybe he must have felt like I did, like he was wasting time, his heart beating as fast as mine is now…  doing nothing. Just in a boat that was rocking from side to side and moving nowhere… maybe he was tempted to tell Jesus to step out so he could try fishing one more time… just maybe, but he waited, the gentle giant waited, till it was seemingly too late for one more try before retiring for the day, because the sun came out and no one fishes in this season.

When Jesus was done, He turned to Peter and asked him to launch out. It was an unusual request…. He would be going against the principles of fishing and the laws of attraction. He toiled all night, and now it was out of season, no one skilled in fishing would dream of fishing at that hour or call fishing at that hour a brave idea because it was stupid, that’s what it was, a waste of time and energy… but he agreed, and he launched out at the instruction of Jesus, and oh mine, what a catch he made. An exceptional extraordinary one, so extraordinary that he couldn’t handle it by himself, he had to call for help… he was an employer of labor. He had an overflow that he had no choice but to involve others.

You see, when Jesus asks to use you, your talent, the work of your hand, your life… as hard as it is, yield yourself… sometimes you’ll be yielded to Him and feel planted, like you’re stagnant, but let Him do what He’s doing through/from your boat. As you stay planted in Him, your roots will go deep, before your fruit eventually shoots up. You watch your mates ‘hustling’ and you’re right there sitting as God uses you. You watch them get married to the tall, dark, handsome wealthy man and there you sit rocking from side to side in the boat. You watch others singing about booties and climbing the charts, but there you are singing wholesome songs, and Jesus songs and staying at the bottom, nowhere close to the charts, not because you’re no good, you’re certainly better than them, but your boat is occupied and you’re only recognized in churches.

Don’t despair, Keep letting him speak through you…. And then one day, He’ll look at you and tell you to launch out. It may be something unconventional, some beat you’ve never heard before, something you’ve never done before, something strange, a strange and weird move in your career, a weird style of writing, a weird clothing design, a weird way, a man you never dreamed you would date, way out of your spec… and oh mine, what a catch you will get, more than enough, that you can’t handle yourself, you will have to call other fisher men, other professionals to help. Your harvest will be such an overflow that nations will come running to you, your marriage will be so blessed that people would use you as a reference point. You can’t let God use you and end up at the bottom. They may laugh when you take a step of faith and launch when He instructs you to, but let them, you’ll know who’s got the last laugh soon enough.

So when I see myself despair… I think of Peter, and I relax in my boat as I watch the master reach out through me. Don’t despair… Keep yielding yourself to be used… Soon, He’ll ask you to launch out and oh my, what a catch… What a catch!

"No Other Choice" by Tye Tribbet is the apt soundtrack to this post. The words of the song paint the perfect picture my words may have been unable to capture.

[Verse 1:]
So many times in life before, I tried and tried to do things my way (hey, hey, hey)
I thought that I was smart enough; I thought I knew enough to (handle my self)
I didn't realize the problem was, the struggle was between my will and Yours
So I'm giving up my will for Yours, I'm totally depending on You (please come through)

I have no other choice but to trust You
That's all I can do
I have no other choice but to believe

[Verse 2:]
Now when trouble comes my way, I don't cry, I just lift my eyes (to the hills)
'Cause Your word says my help is gonna come, I'm just gon rest in what You say (hey, hey, hey)

'Cause I know every word You say is true
And every promise that You made it will come to
So no matter how long it takes
I'll be here still giving praise
Waiting on my change to come

Thursday, May 2, 2013

She Rocks....

With mother’s day just around the corner(U.S), Yvonne I. Wilson of Empowerment Moments Blog is 'Celebrating the life of mothers who rock', and I feel blessed that she asked me to be a part of this wonderful series. Mothers are special, so special I could cry thinking about just how extra special I’ll be when I’m a mother… I mean I am a mother of seven right now without the labor pangs, but yeah :) …
My feature was posted today, check it out and leave your thoughts here.

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