who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Call me Aunty...


We love respect in Nigeria, that’s the only reason why my cousins are expected to call me ‘aunty’. I really don’t mind being just plain ol’ Inyamu to them, because I’m not their aunty after all. But being twenty something years older than them has involuntarily earned me the earmarked respect of the title aunty. But they just don’t see reason in calling me aunty Inyamu… they call every other person aunty, even the house helps I’m older than, but when it comes to me they scream INYAMUUUU! Maybe its my voice; I hear I sound like a child even though I hear myself being husky and all… Maybe it’s the fact that I play with them a lot… it doesn’t mean that they don’t report the others they call aunty to me… meaning they know I hold some kind of authority but please don’t make us call her aunty. Strangers hear them call me by my name and tell them “call her aunty”… Oh well, they’re less than five, what do they know? (Enough to sell me in this day.) 

My nieces went through this phase as well, so they went through the safer route of calling me baby Joy but now that they’re older they’ve slowly accepted the name aunty Joy… it sounds weird.
 
Just a few of the terror gang!
It reminds me how we give honor to everyone else except God. We give respect to the younger aunties in the form of men of God, but when it comes to God, we well, we just don’t place Him where He should be in our lives, we take Him for granted… we give the pastors all the awe and respect, but not God… When we are in deep trouble, the first person we think to call is Pastor P, and not God. 

It doesn’t mean we think God is smaller than them… no we don’t (well, I hope we don’t) but somehow we learn to respect them more, and get scared of them and put their word over God’s(especially those who aren't genuine, because they encourage this behavior). But when we run into deeper trouble, we run to God because we suddenly realize the pastors don't have it. 

You hold the undeniable word of God in your hand but you doubt because… but pastor B said something else… its just got to be pastor B’s word over the word of God, because we're too lazy to study God's word for ourselves sometimes, then he deals with you then you go reporting him to God. Sometimes when you make pastors or ministers in church or any man your standard, you meet loads of disappointments, because they are humans, and humans aren't perfect… Your standard, your ultimate should be God even as much as you give the honor and respect to your spiritual heads, and even see them as your mentor.

When man gives it to you, you may loose it, but when God gives it to you, you’ve got it! Joyce Meyer

That’s why a pastor would tell his congregation to eat grass, and they would fall over themselves to do it. That’s why a man of God would give you petrol to drink and you would drink blindly and then when you’re dying, you run to aunty.(I'm still trying to get my head around this story)
I love my pastors. Everyone I’ve been blessed to sit under I have loved with all my heart. I respect them. So I have nothing against showing men of God respect and honor. But, are we saying aunty to everyone that matters except the one who really matters? Is the fear of man greater than the fear of God?

"Many people would rather follow a man they can see that the invisible God. A human king seems to provide the best of both worlds: where he has good ideas we can follow him because we’re convinced we’re serving God, but when we disagree wit him, we can rebel with the rationalization that he’s just man, what does he know anyway." Wayne Jacobsen, A passion for Gods presence.

Monday, September 22, 2014

More, More... More!


I hate the process of shopping, but I love buying new things. And so whenever I get a chance to travel where I can shop, I try to squeeze my cash to buy as much as I can.
I have a satisfied look on my face when I look at my new possessions, especially when most of them have been bought at a bargain. What a feeling!! I wouldn’t need to shop for a long long long time. I have all I need.
That’s till I’m back home and searching through my clothes in frustration, both the old and the new and I cry out how I have nothing to wear. Nothing! Not in all the pile of newbies.

I recently got back from London after about five months away. While it wasn’t a holiday or a shopping trip, I can’t honestly say I didn’t shop, because I did, I came home with extra suitcases filled with clothes. I got new things, for my new size… I was content. Until I turn my room upside down looking for something to wear every other day… I had absolutely nothing to wear!

The statement, I have nothing to wear is a statement of fact as opposed to one of vanity! My name ought to appear right after that quote.
The truth is, two new suitcases or four is never enough clothes.
You may spend thousands of pounds and think this is it… but it really isn’t it in the long run.

I’ve never read through the bible back to back. But I have read my bible. You may feel like you’ve read the whole of the bible or a certain book in it and there’s nothing more you can gain from it… and then you start reading that book or chapter or verse again, there’s always more, even when you feel like you’ve gotten it all.
There was a time I felt like I had written all I had to write, where in the world would I get more words or insights? That was three or four years ago…. You can never exhaust the word of God and the Wisdom and inspiration He gives. Kathryn Kulhman expresses this truth “I had preached on heaven. I had preached on hell. I had preached on the love of God – you know- and what more was there to preach about? But years have found out that you can never exhaust the deep truths in Gods word”


You know how we say, life is simpler if you have just two outfits or there about, it’s either one or the other when it comes to choosing what to wear. You have no luxury of having an option, or being depressed about not knowing which trouser to pair with the blue shirt when it’s only one pair of trouser you have. Today it’s the white shirt, tomorrow the blue… everything is as it is.
When you have a basic, surface knowledge of Jesus, the one who you go visiting with on Sundays, there’s nothing much there, nothing more your soul desires. It’s got the basic Jesus, the one who they tell you is mad when you sin and happy when you do good. The one who sends people to hell for sin, and rewards heaven for good, and life is just plain with that plain distorted knowledge, there is no luxury of having more, and knowing more and desiring more.
But when you’ve gone beyond the basic, knowing God for who He is, understanding even a pinch of what He’s done for you and how much He loves you, you will crave more, you wouldn’t stay mocking those who have Him and search for more… You wouldn’t make fun of those who love going to church and events where the word would be preached… The more you know Him, the more you want to know Him. There is always more with God.



I’ve taken stock and I realize that I attend church a little too much, not to me though, the opinions of others. So what’s the catch of regular church attendance, why do I feel a need to attend all the meetings when I see the billboards/handbills? Not because I’m looking for cute church boys, not because I feel compelled to as a religious obligation, not because in some twisted way, I want to please God and manipulate Him with the number of times I attend services. Why am I always just coming from church or I was in church when you called? Because I am not satisfied… All I have taken In looks like it can last me a life time, but it doesn’t come close to satisfaction. I’m greedy for more of Him.

Like a girl can never have enough clothes… you can never satisfy this want for more of God, because there is always more. I hunger and thirst for Him, for more of Him, for the beauty of Him, the more I get filled, the more I want to take in, I am determined to know Him and the power of His resurrection…


Monday, September 15, 2014

Random Blabs...


I’ve been feeling a little lazy to upload posts. Well I’ve been kind of busy, that should be a good enough excuse right?
I hardly ever sleep before 12am, it’s unheard of, but the last week saw me fagged out at 10pm, and staring blankly at my screen like I was in a drug haze.
And I ate a lot! Maybe the food made me lazy? It probably did.

When it comes to writing, I tell myself “don’t force it”. My mind is a junkyard of things to write about, I have a dozen word documents opened with drafts that need a little polishing… but I have refused to swallow laxatives for my mind to spill forth words… I’d rather just let it flow. Does it mean I’ve got writers block and I’m not just being lazy? I like to think I've got writers block, its cool to say "Oh, i've got a little writer's block" it makes me sound cool, like i'm a real writer... a creative genuise that needs to watch the ocean to unblock my mind.
(Pardon me, I'm saying whatever comes into my head)

Oh, and I got to summit my manuscript yesterday… isn’t that awesome? The book is becoming so real. I’m in labor now y’all. Its kind exhilarating… Pushing out a baby isn’t so much fun, but I’m glad I’ve got hands holding me up in prayers. A good thing no one stops the birthing process half way because they’re scared… once the pushing starts, you’ve just got to see it through till the baby comes out and snuggles in your arms. Breaking forth and crashing through the gates yo…

I’m off this week. I never travel without my laptop… but I’ve made a hard decision to leave it at home this time, and it hurts, it feels like a part of me has been yanked off… dramatic I know, but that’s how attached I am to my MacBook… at least I get to take my notebook with me. I’ll be at ‘Faith Adventure’… I’m so excited about it; it’s a weeklong program in Gboko, a town in Benue State. It’s going to be a week long of soul food and Bing eating on the word, yayyy!

Have a great week!
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