who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Thursday, December 25, 2014

Merry Christmas...


Merry Christmas everyone.
I’m thankful for the birth of Jesus, my precious savior…
I’m thankful for the life He lived to die for me.
He is the reason for the season.
I celebrate the birth of my savior… My salvation story!

The Word became flesh and blood,
and moved into the neighborhood.
We saw the glory with our own eyes,
the one-of-a-kind glory,
like Father, like Son,
Generous inside and out,
true from start to finish. John 1:14(MSG)

 God came and dwelt amongst us… He’s generous inside and out. Faithful every moment and so beautiful for every situation. What a great God He is.

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

'Twas The Night Before Christmas...

'Twas the night before Christmas, the night was quiet, such an aroma of fried goat meat over the local firewood filled the air, Santa came riding in on his sleigh.
There was no chimney, neither was there cookies or warm milk waiting for him. He sure was in Nigeria, a GPS flunk... no thanks to the cyber stunts of North Korea.

So Santa sat outside the house with no chimney or Christmas lights, no chestnut roasting on an open fire, no stockings hanging and no sign that they cared about him or believed in him. He was offered some fried meat, and a cold bottle of malt, because Santa was sweating in his suit. (He wondered how possible it was, to sweat on Christmas eve.)
It was o so good, the malt and the meat; he wondered why Nigeria had never been programmed in on his Christmas ride. Santa wanted more meat, and then more and more, till it was all gone. He still wanted more (what a selfish old man, taking from the people he never came through for… but who can blame his longer throat where goat meat is involved)

There was a dilemma, where to get more meat from... until the red nose of Rudolph the reindeer glowed in the dark (poor poor thing, on the first night He was given the honor of riding Santa's sleigh) and so Rudolph the red nosed reindeer was slaughtered and roasted, some parts of him fried and what a fine BBQ we had, the night before Christmas... shhhhhhh, don't tell Mrs. Claus!

I’m not about to ruin any child’s Christmas story… Looking forward to the goat meat that would be fried today and o, what a delight with a cold cold bottle of coke. Celebrating Christ is always so much fun.

Just incase you’re real Santa, please forgive me for that story… Here’s my Christmas list…
Oh well, no point writing it here. We’ll discuss when you’re getting overfed on goat meat and malt tonight.

Saturday, December 20, 2014

First Class Baby, First Class...


A facebook friend had this as her status update If you fly first class, business class, or premium economy, it doesn’t change who you are, once the flight has landed it is finished.... the airplane is only a pressurized tube! “

I agree with the above statement, that the class you’re sat in doesn’t change who you are. But while I’ve shamelessly been one of those who smugly said I really don’t care what class, economy, premium, business or first, as long as I get to my destination, what’s the big deal? Isn’t it the same plane? I have arrived at a place where my opinion has changed. There is a big deal… it doesn’t change who you are, but the experiences are different.

I didn’t care about class… Who says you can’t have fun in economy? The food is good (most times), you still get your drinks and the airhostesses smile at you, well, sometimes they do… Even if you don’t get priority boarding or a special lounge for you, you still arrive at the same destination with the rest of the passengers in the plane, but you’re not that comfortable, admit it! Your legs are cramped, and it’s rather annoying when the person in front of you decides to recline his/her seat. Sometimes sitting at the back of the plane opens up this cynical part of you that despises the other person for choosing to use his money to fly in a better class, and even more so when he has his whole family flying with him… why waste money on kids flying in first/business? What’s the point? What are you trying to prove? Foolish man.

My opinion changed when I got into premium economy! I never wanted economy, ever again. My leg had much room to rest, I was given hot towels before takeoff and I was served with real cutleries. Sitting there didn’t get me so greedy, I still didn’t care about business class, as long as I was more comfortable in premium, I didn’t covert business, I only wistfully looked on at premium whenever I had to sit in economy and I wasn’t lucky enough to get the exit seats.

Then one day, I got upgraded into business class, and life was a dream… What??? The beauty of it.
Forget the same destination cock and bull story, tell yourself whatever you want to hear, it may be the same pressurized tube, but there’s a difference and I want to be a partaker in that difference. You actually feel good, you feel like royalty, without even trying… macadamia nuts, flat beds, leg space, five star dining, china plates, menus with salmons (not like I care about salmons), champagne and the airhostess calling you by name.

What am I trying to say?
This Christianity thing has one destination… but I refuse to settle, especially not in the religion of cramped feet for righteousness sake. Life is like being on a flight from birth to death. I refuse to be a Christian that makes the unbeliever feel sorry for me on this journey. I refuse to be the Christian sitting in economy of Sunday to Sunday church attendance with no enjoyment of the deep, precious things and joy in knowing God. I refuse to look tattered in the name of being a Jesus baby! Yes it’s the same pressurized tube, one destination… heaven! But I would enjoy this ride. I choose to enjoy this ride, to experience the deeper things of this ride.
I would look glamorous, my joy would be full, and I would wear lipsticks and perfumes and fix my hair if I want to, and if I don’t want to, I’ll cover my hair with the best of scarves and wear the best of floor length skirts available.

I would reign in victory, living a rich and satisfying life… Christ didn’t die for me to sit in economy declaring heaven in the after life while I hate on those enjoying this life in first class of heaven on earth with self-righteous declarations of “what’s the point when we’ll land in the same airport”.

I would enjoy heaven on earth, I would heal the sick, I wouldn’t just pray in my closet, I wouldn’t just listen to sermons in church, I would speak out, well, where my mouth is tied, I would write out. I sit on the luxury side of this Christian ride on this journey to my eternal home. I would have the angels attend to me…. I choose to be filled with the Holy Spirit and overshadowed by Him to birth signs and wonders in Jesus name. I choose to receive the gift of salvation and not get lost with an undeserving spirit surrounding me.

No sitting in economy of daily church attendance and nothing to show for the faith I profess beyond bashing anyone who isn’t in the faith or those in it who have gotten the revelation of the rich and satisfying life Christ offers. I have realized leaving the back sit of economy isn’t about your works, how much you attend church programs. It’s relying on grace, Gods grace. I’ve never struggled or hustled to sit in business class, even though I have longed for it… it just happened. Grace.

Living a life of works, under the law is like travelling in economy… you pay for everything and yet, you still don’t get the best of service from all your self-effort.
Grace is all about the business/first class… it’s free food in the lounge baby. A table prepared for you in the presence of your enemy, you don’t have to squeeze coins at the airport for a bottle of water, and when you’re on the flight, you can confidently ask for seconds or thirds or whatever… boldly, because you know what ticket you’re riding. The only price you pay is a deep longing for more…

It may be the same tube as those sitting behind you, but you have the boldness to ask, ask ask and get get get. Enter into His rest. Kathryn kulman was on the same flight, but she sure didn’t settle for coach, she moved with such a presence of the Holy Spirit and enjoyed the joy of heaven on earth before landing in the real heaven.

The father whose son returned killed the fattest cow while the older brother looked on fuming from economy seat, judging… what’s the point? Why kill the cow? Why have a party for him? Look at me, I’ve been here, why’s he having all the fun? The father’s response was simple… it’s always been yours child. He settled, he did not receive what was freely available to him; He did not activate his right to his father’s kingdom. Refuse to settle, grab for the goodness of the kingdom and rejoice in it, rather than sit fuming at those who have received the love of the Father and bask in it. (Luke 15:11-22)

Ever meet people that are so holy that they cant enjoy life and they wouldn’t let you enjoy it either? That’s not holiness, that’s self-importance and legalism. Judah Smith, Jesus is___ .

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Love Like Crazy...


A woman wants to be given that affirmation of love every second… no matter how independent minded she is, she comes to a place, where love is what’s enough for her… or the evidence of love (even if she refuses to admit it, or so I think).

So, imagine a man pulls an Indian movie dance scene stunt… you know with all the dancers in colorful clothes, and fixed smiles, singing to songs with lyrics penned down by the most love-infested songwriters. This Nigerian man dashes in between trees, and water fountains all for the love of his life, with loads of tiffany gift bags… what a show of love!
I would stand there with tears gushing down my face, out of pure delight or embarrassment, I’m not sure. What’s important is that I would be a picture of pure movie perfection, so overwhelmed with the show of love… Look, I even shed some tears!

But that Indian movie dance scene wouldn’t guarantee her believe in his love, if the next day, he doesn’t pick up her call or return a missed call, or if he fails to respond to a text message. She immediately begins to doubt. When was the last time he called me anyway? When was the last time he said, “I love you”?

Every moment I take time out to spend time with God in worship, I hear Him tell me He loves me. Now the question is, how do you hear God? How do you know when He’s speaking to your heart? I don’t know, but I just know when it’s Him, and those words of love are so true, so real…. I kept wondering why He would keep telling me how much He loves me, every single day, every moment I stay still to hear Him speak. That’s when the illustration I described above came to me.

God pulled all stops, He went all out to prove His love for humanity, me and you, something beyond an Indian movie dance scene, when He gave Jesus, when the cross-happened. That was the greatest stunt of love ever pulled. For God so greatly loved and dearly prized the world that He [even] gave up His only begotten (unique) Son…’ John 3:16(Amp)
But God shows and clearly proves His [own] love for us by the fact that while we were still sinners, Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One) died for us. Romans 5:8(Amp)

Isn’t this awesome? While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Meaning, He doesn’t love me because I’ve repented of my sins and I’ve come to Him… He doesn’t love me more than the next person because I pray and I go to church more often than I go shopping. While we were yet sinners… Unconditional love baby!

But we turn right around and ask God, do you care? Do you love me? When something little goes out of place. We doubt, when like a woman, we feel like our text message, our voice in prayer goes unanswered. But God, I went to church all through last week… why don’t you love me boo? Why wouldn’t you answer me when I call Bae?
Because of my human nature, He tells me how much He loves me daily because He wants that knowledge to become a part of my consciousness; so I can get to a place where I’ll never doubt His love, even when it feels like He’s gone silent on me, because it keeps resounding in my mind. It keeps replaying, it’s this presence in me, this presence around me, the air that I breath, the love of God…

God is love, He cant help Himself, not loving us is denying Himself of being Him. He’s got crazy love for us.
A girl in love spends time thinking about her crush… and drawing heart shapes around the name of the man of the moment, and smiling foolishly at nothing but the thoughts in her head… she daydreams of this man that moves her world…. that’s crazy and quite silly isn’t it? Well that’s what its like with God. His mind is full of us. (Psalm 8:4) He’s thinking about us always. And His thoughts aren’t angry thoughts, about how we got drunk last week and deserve to burn in hell for not giving a ride to your mean colleague when it was raining… No! His thoughts are good thoughts and not evil (Jeremiah 29:11) He is consumed with us. He’s thinking about us all the time. He’s crazy in love.

Jesus, our Bridegroom, says to us, "You have captured my heart, my treasure, my bride. You hold it hostage with one glance of your eyes..." In Song of Songs 4:9 (NLT) Beloved, the Lord is passionately in love with you! Today, let your heart be set aflame by the One who thinks you are special, and who values and treasures you beyond measure. Joseph prince

You don’t have to do anything to get this extraordinary sort of love; all you have to do is accept it. He loves us with an everlasting love. And goodness, He says Nothing can separate us from this love… NOTHING! (Romans 8:38-39) and in knowing that nothing can separate us from this beautiful sort of love, we can come boldly to His presence to obtain mercy whenever we mess up.The love is there for us, and it works for us when we've accepted it and are conscious of it.
Because of His love He protects us. He neither sleeps or slumbers… imagine Him staring at you lovingly when you sleep, brushing His fingers across your cheeks. Because of His love, he surrounds us with His favor as a shield (Psalm 5:12)

And the man and his wife were both naked and were not embarrassed or ashamed in each other's presence. Genesis 2: 25
I read this quote somewhere  Don’t give too much, too soon. Make sure a person deserves all of your heart before you give it away. If they don’t appreciate your love, take it elsewhere “ Its all about the games and intrigues in human relationships. We can’t show how much we love because we may be taken for granted. Our love would be abused, so we play the coy game of hiding feelings. But not with God.  God is "vulnerable" to us. He’s stripped himself, bared himself… gone all out to show He loves us, even when we didn’t deserve it. In human relationships we’re told to hold back, don’t be all there because you’ll be seen as weak, your trust and transparency will be used against you. But not with God, He’s come before us, shown us who He is, naked in love. He pouring out His love doesn't make Him weak or less than He is, even if we don't respond to Him… Thus we should come boldly before him, unashamed, naked and bare knowing He loves us just as we are, and His love would cover all our shortcomings and perfect us.
Because He loves us… all things are working together for our good! 

Relax, everything’s going to be all right; rest, everything’s coming together; open your hearts, love is on the way! Jude 1:2(msg)
God is love… relax, love has gone ahead of you! Don’t worry, love has made the crooked path straight. As you continue to soak in on His love, walk with boldness knowing He’s gone ahead. He’s opened the doors of the desires He’s put in your heart, all you have to do is rise up in faith and walk towards it.
The truth of His love remains the truth, even when our logic and intelligence tries to tell us otherwise. John the disciple called Himself the disciple Jesus loved… walk in that consciousness, that you are the one Jesus loves. I know I’m the girl Jesus loves… and my oh my, how special it makes me feel.
Let love be imprinted in your consciousness.

You think you’re not worth it? Well that’s love for you…

Sunday, December 14, 2014

On Thanksgiving and Baby Alert...

Congrats dearest Chichi!!! I'm sorry I couldn't make your wedding, but look... I used your asoebi a day after for thanksgiving to feel like I was a part of your day. Grace and more grace in your marriage.
I love December just because... It’s such a beautiful and special month where all the frustration, challenges, Joy, laughter, fears, achievements and pain of the past months seems to melt into it and get reshaped to a joyful, peaceful and thankful end, because despite it all, you’ve been such a survivor, and nothing beats that. It’s a month that should be shaped with thanksgiving to God for His grace. Through it all, God kept you, you’re still standing, you’re still breathing, you’re still hoping… Only the living can keep hoping, so even as much as you feel like all your expectations for the year were not met, you’re breathing and you have another chance to make it work. Thank God  for His grace.

It was the end of year thanksgiving at church! I have so much to be thankful for… The year isn’t over, and my expectations are still so high, like it’s overdosed on drugs. Not like I know what it feels like to be overdosed, but I’m sure it’s such a high, probably why people keep getting sunk in it.

I’m thankful for so much more than I can say! God proved Himself to me and my family over and over again this year. And I’m so thankful for how limitless He is, I know Him in one way and just as I’m trying to get my head over this new revelation, He reveals Himself in a bigger way. Great God.
Take a minute to be thankful… There’s so much you can say thank you for even with the ‘buts’ that’s all around you. God loves you and He is faithful despite what you’ve been through, that’s a reason for a praise break!

I haven’t written here in a bit. Life has been happening, and in the midst of the happening, I have felt so drained… emotionally from all the good stuff and all the confusing stuff. You know how a sense of achievement sort of loses the physical evidence of your joy… because, just because. I just birthed my baby, I can’t wait to share her with you. This pregnancy has been carried for too long, but I let fear stop my birthing process, I’m glad I finally pushed through… and like a mother stays in bed to be rejuvenated soon after the labor of pushing out her baby, I’m on an emotional pause. I’ll share the details with you soon enough… Just a peek of what she looks like…(Still a little surreal!)



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