who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Saturday, August 29, 2015

He's Got You Babe...

I found something I wrote a few months ago, when an application I sent in wasn’t approved. When I got the email giving flimsy reasons for the rejection, I felt cold and angry, because I knew someone somewhere was just being mean and I wondered if I should have bypassed the process and just gone straight to the boss through an acquaintance… But this was only for a few minutes, because soon after, I was writing this words of encouragement, because I knew that even though it hurt, only better could come out of it.
Reading it today again has rekindled my heart to the truth of how trustworthy our God is…

This isn’t a set back for me. It’s an upliftment. God never takes backward steps with the righteous, they rise even when all seems fallen. They shine brighter and brighter even when all seems gloomy and situations bring storms
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. He loves you and only thinks great thoughts and loving thoughts towards you.
Daddy loves you more than any earthly being ever has or ever will. Trust His hand and His will. Trust His love and His goodness. Trust His excellence and His perfect plans. Just trust, don’t try to understand. Trust.
Daddy’s got you. He’s in control.
Rest child, rest!
He hears you. Rest.

I pray this blesses someone today.
God’s go you baby, chill!

Monday, August 17, 2015

#Selfie #Selfie

I take loads of selfies! But post very few on social media, and the few I post have to be near perfect in my eyes.
I don’t see myself as unattractive… which is me trying to humbly say, I think I’m a fine girl. But in taking selfies, I have come up with a theory… it doesn’t matter how fine you are, you almost never post the first selfie you take from a batch. You take a couple till you get the perfect one; you know the one that captures your good side. Well, that’s my story, not sure if any other person shares this struggle sometimes. “Your phone is full of 300 selfies in a row because that's what it takes to get the perfect shot.” the struggle! (FACT: I actually take a lot of beautiful first time selfies, but this truth would hurt my post. I am the exception :0)

For every beautiful selfie, you find a couple of likes, and in those likes are people blown away by you and probably wanting to be as perfect as you are. I mean there’s a selfie book by Kim Kardashian, I’m sure those who bought it drooled over her and called her perfect! (And here I go, using the Kardashians as an illustration, there’s no escaping them, is there?) They don’t see the struggle like chief obi shows here...
A video posted by Chief Obi (@chief_obi) on

They don’t see how you struggle to get the perfect lighting. The don’t see the one where your nose appeared too big from one angle, they don’t see the number of deleted ones, and that’s what hurts most spectators… the fact that they never see your backstage struggles, just your highlight reels.

People think I’ve got this Christian thing locked in perfection… well I know Christ covers me and sees me perfect. But have you seen my Christian struggle? The preachers who stand on pulpits after putting up a perfect game face, you have no idea what he had to push through to stand.

I love God, how couldn’t I? When He loves me as much as He does even with knowing me as much as He does! But I struggle sometimes. I struggle with certain things that don’t make you question my authenticity as a Christian.
You see sometimes it’s hard to be happy for people. Not hard per se, but it just hits you from one angle… but then you struggle through all the insecurities, and you finally get the perfect look after many attempts, the look that says Gods got you and you’re amazing the way you are and everyone has a different path to tread, and then smile and congratulate them genuinely. We may all have it together, but sometimes, life seems to test your faith and how solid the ground you stand on is when it seems to rub off other peoples perceived success in your face, and you forget you’re not running the same race… you forget that its not a competition, and that her making it even if it doesn’t benefit you directly, benefits you in someway. How? Well the fact that God is good and there’s one more person out there testifying of His goodness should make you trust and love your Daddy more.

People think I have it all together, maybe because of the fact that I say and live like it is well always, or write posts to encourage, and annoyingly seem like Mary Poppins who is never flustered and always ready doesn’t mean I am. I go through troubles, I worry at times, I don’t have a good look some times, but I’m able to find a perfect lighting most times, to get a stunning selfie to put out there. I go through a lot of flustered situations before I come through with the perfect post/selfie. Because I have been through and I have learned and I still learn to trust in the midst of it all. And in my learning, I am inspired to inspire.

All those perfect selfies out there? Why/how did they get the perfect shot? Because they refused to give up, they were determined to keep clicking till they got a satisfied result for you to see.

Don’t judge your behind the scene moments with another’s finished cut!

Monday, August 10, 2015

You Should Move It Move It...

We were travelling back to Makurdi from Abuja and it begun to rain heavily. It was pouring hard and visibility was poor. My mum panicked and asked the driver to pull over and park till it stopped raining, but the driver and I both protested. I told her it wasn’t safe to park in this condition. Stopping would put us in more danger than moving.  

After saying that to her, it got me thinking… how many of us have parked/are parking because the storm is too strong, and the rain is pouring heavily? How many of us have given up and locked ourselves up, locked others up, given up on a relationship, a job or a dream just because our lives are experiencing a downpour and we just don’t have the will to move forward, because visibility is blurred and it just feels so hard?

We may feel like giving in to self-pity and curling up in a depressive ball would help, but it doesn’t. The way to get out of the storm is to keep moving. And remember that when you move in a downpour you don’t speed through, or else you would crash, so it’s ok when you feel like you’re moving too slow, and whatever issue still seems to be staring you in the face, it doesn’t mean it’s won, you’re still right on track as long as you’re taking steps ahead and not folded up in despair, know that each time you move, you’re closer to the other side with blue skies.

The healing process takes time when you’ve been hurt, and because you’re healing, you don’t rush through the hurt and act like it never happened, but you take deliberate steps, till you move over to the other side.  Don’t rush into the next relationship because the last failed and knocked you out, while you shouldn’t stay parked in heartbreak, move slowly to the next so you don’t crash. Don’t run to the next town or the next church because you’ve been hurt by someone in the last…
Before long, we were out of the downpour because we kept moving albeit slowly. With each step you take, you move from the deep end of the storm and before long you’re under blue skies again, were visibility is perfect and you pick up your speed.

Stopping is dangerous. Stopping is awful… we sometimes lose everything because we are too scared to risk everything on a trust and move. You can’t see clearly? Well you’ve heard God give a word of assurance that He’ll never leave you or forsake you, let that be the light to your path, let that be the wiper that gives you the view of the next step, let every step be deliberate, but sure and certain… till you get there. Before long you’re under blue skies again and the sun is shinning, the only thing left to remind you of the storm you’ve been through are drops of water hanging on to your car, and that would be dried up by the sun before long.
Persevere in your trust in God and in prayer and keep moving baby…

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