who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Monday, February 29, 2016

The Love Collision: Love is God - Obiora Obiwon




 Obiora Nwokolobia-Agu, mostly known in the music industry as Obiora Obiwon, is an award winning Nigerian singer, musician, songwriter, recording artiste, music minister and evangelist. He was honored as Nigeria's Voice of the Decade (21st century) at the Nigeria Music Awards.  He is sold out to the gospel of Christ and continues to minister this message at various churches, Christian and other secular events. Obiwon is married and has two lovely children.
Facebook: Obiora Obiwon Twitter: @ObioraObiwon iTunes: Buy  here

 
What is your definition of love?

At the risk of sounding clichéd, Love is God... and I’ll explain my own understanding of this.

The day I settled with the whole issue of what love is, does true love exist and all such questions was the moment I came to terms with the fact that you cannot separate the Maker of all things from Love which He created and vice versa.  I had started to really seek and find if indeed there was anything like “love” as we know it and at a point when the love songs I often wrote and sang began to take on a more larger than life presence and meaning. I was also making grave mistakes and having misfortunes with romantic love in my own life. In my curious quest I found God as the ultimate Love I was searching for, the Love Being in whom I could safely and truly experience the highest meaning and expression of love ever possible. I realized and accepted that every other type of love and relationship on this realm flows out of that original Source or has been corrupted from this original. 

Have you had a love encounter with God?

Yes, severally... and I’m having one right now. Remarkably though, the day I truly submitted all of me and my ways to Him and other intimate moments alone with Him since then are exhilarating and unforgettable.

How has that changed your life and your perception of Christianity and what religion has portrayed it to be?

I found a true connection with my Maker. In retrospect I found that you can only hear of this or choose to sneer at it as another trick, until the day you freely decide to try it for yourself and stick at it... then the true encounters with the God of the Universe begin, you wouldn’t want to go back and you would understand why it would seem like others were quite ‘overzealous’ trying to introduce this to you. People being people choose bits and pieces of the aspects of the Christian message and twist and adapt it to suit whatever purpose, and this can scare away anyone who had wanted to try Christ for size. However this doesn’t change the fact that Jesus, the core of his message and all about Him is realer than the air we breathe and the best life ever. Additionally, as a “fly” guy, I had resisted giving all to God because that didn’t seem to be a ‘”fun” lifestyle and there might be certain things I would no longer be able to do. However after I made up my mind to do it, I discovered along the way that the God life is the best, “funnest” and safest lifestyle possible, even if He had to take a little time to change my initial tastes and concept of fun and satisfaction.

How has this love shaped your understanding of who God is? How has this love walk affected your life? i.e Has this love shielded you from trials? If it hasn’t, how have you been able to reconcile the truth of a loving God with the facts of life’s challenges in your face?


I’m learning everyday. Seasons of doubts and anxiety have crept up in the midst of certain circumstances, but I’ve learnt that if one could still believe and trust through these times and challenging circumstances, you would eventually come through to experiencing new dimensions of His love and His person on a whole new level. My claim to the absolute verity of the last statement is my personal experience; it has happened to me over and over again. It’s right in the love encounters that one is reassured of the unfailing and faithful nature of His love, therefore I come to see love encounters with God as a daily necessity for refreshment, strength and reassurance.


If you were given a chance to witness this love to someone, what would you say?

I would say all I’ve said above but probably summarize it thus: The Love of God is the love, satisfaction, rest and meaning that you've been searching and yearning for all your life... and it is personified in Jesus the Christ."

  Here’s Obiwons latest video 'Bunibe'. Bunibe shows a jubilant yet inspired Obiora Obiwon as he sing-dances his way across various situations of everyday life in the city and streets of Lagos, Nigeria. The song seeks to inspire faith and hope through praise in various circumstances.
I think it’s so apt for this post. Only a person who knows how loved he is by God will be willing to praise even when the land lord calls and trials and problems seem to be lurking around. So will you praise Him? Get up and dance knowing He loves you, and His love is bringing you out of every situation. There’s a fourth man in the fire, you wouldn’t be burnt.


Sunday, February 28, 2016

The Love Collision: Love Is Sacrifice - Melody Nuhu



Melody Nuhu is a graduate of Eastern Mediterranean University, Cyprus. She’s a passionate young lady with a heart of love, and an eye for creativity.
Melody is the founder of Ruby Ladies, a women’s ministry where she aims to help young ladies see themselves as the priceless, beautiful, powerful and strong women they were created to be, and how much they can achieve when they are established in this truth.
She is also a make up artist based in Abuja.
Facebook: RUBY LADY Instagram: @rubyyladyy


What is your definition of love?

My definition of love is sacrifice. You can tell how much I love you by how much I'm willing to discomfort my self for your sake. I also think that true love is when we're able to make sacrifices for people we aren't necessarily fond of, people who aren’t friends or family. When we're able to do that then we're walking in love.


Have you had a love encounter with God?

I don't have an interesting story of when I was at 0° and my life took a 360° turn. But I can truly say that I have experienced God's amazing love.

How has that changed your life and your perception of Christianity and what religion has portrayed it to be? How has this love shaped your understanding of who God is?

My encounter with God's love has given me a lens through which I view God as my father and best friend, who is always with me, and even more amazing, lives on my inside
It has made me more aware of the fact that God sees what goes on in my mind; He sees the intents of my heart. This has shaped how and why I do the things I do. I'm constantly checking the state of my heart. I understand that outward good works are not enough that God sees beyond all that. 
It has also shaped my fellowship with Him; I go to God vulnerable, open, and real because He already knows what's going on with me. Which makes every time with him an amazing encounter.

How has this love walk affected your life? i.e Has this love shielded you from trials? If it hasn’t, how have you been able to reconcile the truth of a loving God with the facts of life’s challenges in your face?

No! Absolutely not. The love hasn't shielded me from trials but it has seen me through trials. Sometimes something happens and I'm like 'how, why?' But I'm always reminded that Jesus never promised that challenges wouldn't come. The word of God tells me that those challenges build character in me. Romans 5:3. And so most times I try to ask 'father what lesson do you want me to learn from this?’ 
Furthermore one of my best scriptures is Romans 8:28 'and we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to his purpose'. 
And it gives me peace, which is usually not there at first, but as I focus my thoughts on the word I experience His peace and joy.
 I remember one time when I felt like I was in a wilderness like literally. And I remember thinking many times that maybe God was upset with me and so he had left me. I also remember another time when I was so depressed because I felt like I wasn't perfect enough, like something was wrong with me. But God is so kind He saw me out of it, I learnt in that situation that I was focusing on me that was why I was seeing everything wrong. And focusing on Jesus gave me peace.  The fact that I'm here and in my sound mind and happy all means he brought me out of it.

If you were given a chance to witness this love to someone, what would you say?

I'll tell the person about God’s unconditional love. What this means is that, it doesn't matter what we've done, or where we’ve been, God still loves us so much, and wants to have a relationship with us. 

I’ll tell that person that God loves us inspite of our weaknesses, and whatever else that makes us think we don't qualify. We all look to Jesus the perfect one, and He transforms us into his image.
I'll tell them that everything won't be rosy, trials will come, but we don’t let them distract us, or take us out of fellowship with God. We know that even when it doesn't feel like it, God is there with us because He has promised it in His word.


Friday, February 26, 2016

The Love Collision: Love is God - Rev. Arome Adah


Rev Arome E. Adah is the General Overseer of Savannah Ministries with major outreaches in the areas of churches, fellowships, media & publications, crusades and seminars and music. His dynamic ministry of bringing the God's word to the people has produced tremendous results in millions of lives and in diverse ways, stirring up the faith of God in the hearts of men.
Rev Adah is especially anointed to reach and minister healing to the sick. The ministry he oversees has grown with locations in Nigeria, Zambia, England, and U.S.A. with a vision of Building up believers to maturity, Raising up ministers for the end time harvest, Preaching the gospel with signs and wonders following and using the word of God to meet the needs of Mankind. Savannah Ministries reaches out to her community through Blessing Mankind (http://www.blessingmankind.org), a non-governmental organization (NGO) that provides free medical services, welfare and educational initiatives.
He is the author of Love, the Flame of Jah. He is married to Dr. Ojonugwa and they are blessed with 3 children, April, Emmanuella and Xavier.



What is your definition of love?

It’s a broad question. But I’ll put it this way, love is God! And if I look at love as God, I believe that the best definition for love is receiving what He’s done for us; receiving forgiveness. It goes beyond feelings; it goes beyond the butterflies in the belly, its commitment to what is given to us.

Have you had a love encounter with God?

Yes!

How has that changed your life and your perception of Christianity and what religion has portrayed it to be?

It has changed me completely. It’s made me to see Christianity in a different light because religion always paints a picture of what we need to do to get Gods attention or Gods love, but I now see that love gives without necessarily telling you to do anything. All I need to do is accept the love that has been given to me.

How has this love shaped your understanding of who God is?

God is love.  Back in the day, we were made to see God as a beast seating in heaven with a whip, waiting for us to miss it. But with my understanding of love, and knowing God is love… I see Him in a different light now. I am blessed with parents that show real love, and this has made it easy for me to see God as a loving Father I can relate with, and play in His presence, knowing He’s not judging me based on my performance, but that He loves me.

How has this love walk affected your life? i.e Has this love shielded you from trials? If it hasn’t, how have you been able to reconcile the truth of a loving God with the facts of life’s challenges in your face?

The truth about Gods love has completely changed everything for me. Knowing that God loves me makes good things happen for me. God is love; He’s also all-powerful, thus believing in His love for me makes me experience His power in my life daily. Hence I’m able to face similar challenges others face with a deep knowledge that the power of Gods love is available to me, and it works. Paul prayed that we might know his(God’s) power that is available to us. In believing in Gods love, I know power is available to me daily, healing my body, meeting my needs, protecting me, and putting me over.

If you were given a chance to witness this love to someone, what would you say?

I’ll say God loves you. He’s forgiven your sins in Jesus death burial and resurrection. If you can accept that, your life will be completely changed, just like mine.

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

The Love Collision: Love is a Person - Okechukwu Anyanwu



Okechukwu is the LEAD PASTOR at THE BLUEPRINT CHURCH, a Jesus conscious church with experience center at Golden Tulip Hotel Festac. He is also the HEAD of TRAINING and DEVELOPMENT at THE INSPIRED LIVING COMPANY (TILC)- a leadership solutions startup.
Okechukwu is a strategist who loves to inspire individuals and corporate organizations to follow passionately after the purpose for which they started in the first place. He considers himself as the one whom Jesus loves and preaches from the perspective of the finished work.
He is the initiator of the IN THE LEAD initiative- a leadership/basic life skills development program for senior secondary schools
His listeners find him thoughtful and ENGAGING.

What is your definition of love? 

Love should be unconditional (meaning not dependent on the ability of the receiver to earn it). Love should be patient, kind, not envious, not vain and not egoistic. Love should not behave indecently, should not look out for personal interest, should not be easily provoked, and should think no evil. Love should not rejoice in unrighteousness, but should rejoice in truth. When you look at the attributes of love that I have just mentioned here, you’d realize that only one person is qualified to claim a right to this kind of love and that person is Jesus. No other person can claim to love in this way. Our love is certainly never unconditional. To define love, we must see Jesus, because He is the very embodiment of love. Love is not this secular idea that our society has come to embrace. Love is a person and that person is Jesus

Have you had a love encounter with God?

Oh yeah I have. First I’d say I received the love of God into my heart the day Christ found me. Yet also on a daily basis, I am constantly drowning in the ocean of God’s love in the way He guides me, provides for me, equips me to be a blessing to others, counsels me, comforts and carries me. We are not supposed to have a historic perspective about the love of God. God’s love isn’t supposed to be an event on our calendar. It’s a daily experience. So every day, I wake up to the reality that God loves me. To encounter God’s love, I remind myself of how much God loves me. God’s love for me does not depend on my circumstances, whatever it is. God loves me despite my circumstances. This is what I constantly remind myself. 

How has that changed your life and your perception of Christianity and what religion has portrayed it to be? 

Religion! I hate religion! Religion speaks of the things MAN must do in order to get God’s attention! Religion is a document of performance that man embarks upon to attain acceptance by God and to find peace with God. My life changed completely when I realized that God is forever pleased with me because of what Jesus did. You see the whole idea of the cross was the DIVINE EXCHANGE. Jesus on that cross died AS me and died FOR me. When Christ died, I died! When He was buried, I was buried, and when God raised him from the dead, I was raised. Now every favor that Christ is under, I am under as well. As he is, so am I. I did not have to earn it; it was a gift of Grace! I do not have words to explain how that makes me feel!  My life changed the moment I embraced this truth. Dear friends, the problem I (and every human being had) was the sin problem. I was in the past forever separated from God because of my sins. So when I try to pray, He does not hear me. Whatever I did to please him was futility. The cloud over my head was bronze and the ground underneath me was iron. I had no access to the favor of God. But when grace found me, it changed everything. That’s how my life has changed. I am growing in grace and in the knowledge of this new identity I have in Christ.

How has this love shaped your understanding of who God is? 

When I was growing up, I must confess that I felt God was a bully! I felt he was a tyrant just hunting down innocent people. I actually could swear (even though my friends have warned me about swearing) that human beings were nicer than God. Then I used to see human beings show more mercy than I heard God could show. I mean think about it. A lady gets beaten to pulp by her boyfriend repeatedly, yet she forgives him as often as it happens and when you ask her why she says “I love him so much”. Yet I never had the impression of God as a forgiving God. The stories of people sacrificing for love were more rampant to me than the story of God forgiving people. So you can imagine what I concluded, God must not be nice at all.
Also growing up, the impression I had about God was DEMAND. I always felt God was always DEMANDING and DEMANDING and since He is almighty and his standards were so high, it was impossible to please him, no matter how hard I tried.
This continued this way until I began to embrace a revelation of Gods love. I realized that I had been looking at God with colored lenses all this while!
God is an ABSOLUTELY good God! There is not evil in God and God does not do evil even with the best of intentions. That has never been God’s strategy and will never be.
I found a scripture that really encouraged me… Hebrews 3:10-11 Wherefore I was grieved with that generation, and said, They do alway err in their heart; and they have not known my ways. So I sware in my wrath, They shall not enter into my rest.). Here God was saying that because I have not found his way, I will not enter his rest.
I realized that what God said was not a curse, it was only a statement of fact. We need to find Gods way (Gods method, Gods strategy) to be able to enter his rest. If I were your friend and I alone knew the direction to a place that you seek and you decide you will not allow me help you, I’d say the kind of thing God said, since you will not allow me help you, you will not find your way!
The way God deals with me is from the position of Grace. The strategy God adopted in relating with me is the strategy of grace. God chose to relate with me from that standpoint. The law does not reveal the heart of God. Grace does. The law certainly revealed the standards of God but not his heart. 

How has this love walk affected your life? i.e Has this love shielded you from trials? If it hasn’t, how have you been able to reconcile the truth of a loving God with the facts of life’s challenges in your face?

I used to be full of worry and anxiety over the impact my life is going to make-As I am a gifted person with a purpose which I found very early. I then began to worry about how these things would happen. God had spoken to me concerning my future very clearly and so I thought it was my part to get it done. I felt it was God’s duty to speak to me and show me and my duty to get it done. You can imagine the kind of pressure I was under. How can ordinary me accomplish Gods vision in my own strength? Today, this love walk has changed and is still changing my perspectives. I am a lot more restful now than I used to be.
Trails are not from God. Trials and temptations are only the result of our bodies still living in this imperfect world! Since we are still here, we will be tried and tempted. Yet I am constantly encouraged when I think about the fact that I stand on victory ground already. Jesus delivered victory to me and expects me to maintain my victory by simply trusting him. 

I’d love to reiterate what I have said earlier…Trials are not from God. Trails and temptations are the result of living in this imperfect world. If trials were from God, then we must get ready to keep passing tests while we are in heaven because I do not see any reason why a God who tries you would want to stop trying you simply because you are in heaven. If his nature is to try people, He’d keep doing it forever. Now a lot of us cannot imagine being tried in heaven. This simply confirms that trials are not from God. Believers will be tried. Believers will face challenges. But believers must understand that these challenges are our bread. We feed on them. God shows the whole world that he is alive in us through the testimonies that we record from victory. I am rest assured that the greater one lives inside of me and because he does, I am assured that there is no trial that will not result in outstanding victory. The love of God assures me that I am designed to win always.

If you were given a chance to witness this love to someone, what would you say?
 
That the love of God is too good a deal to live life without and trust me there’s no better deal. What other deal can guaranty you of righteousness as a gift (No guilt, shame or condemnation), what other deal can guaranty you peace (that is not hinged on any external event) and what deal can guaranty you a life of joy? I’d help them to understand that God is not angry anymore. He is not dropping any shoe or cookie on your head for your sins. All your sins are forgiven because Christ took them all. This is not for mental assent sake; this is the truth of the gospel. God is pleased with you. There’s not any deal in the world that is better than the grace deal. Embrace it!

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

The Love Collision: Love Is A Firm Decision - Adakole William


Adakole John William is an award winning singer, songwriter, worship leader, producer and entrepreneur, driven by an intense love for the God and humanity. Adakole is Anointed and Graced to bring Hope, light and healing to the world through the Light of Gods Word.
He released his debut album, Highly Lifted, in December 2012 and is currently working on Highly lifted, Volume 2.
Highly Lifted is available on iTunes here
Facebook: adaKOLE WILLIAM Instagram: adakolewilliam


What is your definition of love?

Beyond a sweet beautiful feeling, more than a jolly emotional ride, love is a never-ending circle of total submission, loyalty, responsibility, appreciation and sacrifice. Love is a firm decision.

Have you had a love encounter with God?

Oh yes, I’ve had remarkable love encounters with God. We have love encounters every day, every other hour, minute… second… every breath is a love encounter.

How has that changed your life and your perception of Christianity and what religion has portrayed it to be?

Over the years I have filled loads of forms... even from the first one (my birth certificate) there's always a place for Religion, and I fill Christian. But I got to realize in John 3:16, a call from God to believe and accept an everlasting Love relationship. He gave His son as a love exchange for Hate, anger and death. So I can have free access to the Love He talked about in 1John 3:1. This love made me a SON OF GOD. With this, I realized Christianity is not my religion but My person! Not a code of conduct but a person! I, now transformed into the Person of Christ Jesus.

How has this love shaped your understanding of who God is?

My understanding of God changed the day I realized God had so many places to live in. I mean Heaven is made of unimaginable streets of Gold... No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no human mind can fathom... unimaginable purity, but with all this... He chose to live in me. Many things I wanted to be as a child and I still aspire to be as an adult. All this things can't even measure up to a ''tiny bit'' of God but this God wants to be me, and wants me to be Him. To be just like Him. I in Him and He in me, maintaining a constant Love relationship with Him. This is a Loving Father.

How has this love walk affected your life? i.e Has this love shielded you from trials? If it hasn’t, how have you been able to reconcile the truth of a loving God with the facts of life’s challenges in your face?

Trials and challenges would always pop up every now and then, as part of the worlds system... Even Jesus Christ who is God had to face this while on earth. He grew from infant to adult and went through life’s challenges like every other human in His time but you see, the Bible never recorded anywhere that He was weighed down or overwhelmed by any challenge... and this is what experiencing Gods love has done for me... It has changed my outlook and disposition for better, to that of a winner. Now I look at every other challenge or trial as just another circumstance God has set to display His Love and affection for me, because I win always and I always come out victorious and better.

If you were given a chance to witness this love to someone, what would you say?

This Love is real, this Love is potent. Love is a person. You can probably know about a person but you cant experience a person until there's been a meeting point... God is Love! To experience real Love, there's got to be a meeting point between man and God! The cross!

Saturday, February 20, 2016

A WORSHIP EXPERIENCE | INCENSE CYPRUS

A short clip from Incense Cyprus with Pastor Obi Anyi...
Making plans for Incense Lagos in March, I'll give details soon.
Watch and be blessed, and Oh, you should check out Pastor Obi's sermons on youtube, he's such an anointed man of God, I promise you, you will be blessed.

Friday, February 19, 2016

The Love Collision: Love Gives No Condition - Cupa Stonce



Biam Martins popularly known as Cupa Stonce, is a lyrical genius who spills out truth in a unique sound that gets you past the threshold of emotions, into deeper truths of his message. He’s the C.E.O of Cupa Music Inc. Also the founder of City of Love Empire/Foundations. Cupa is all about enjoying the perfect sacrifice of love and living a life and singing songs that show just that.
Facebook:Cupa Stonce




What is your definition of love?

Love is the revelation of God to humanity. It holds the essence to which we live, move and exist. 

Have you had a love encounter with God?

Yes, I've been a product of God's love all my life. Where I've been, what I've achieved, what I am and who I am is through the Love of God.

How has that changed your life and your perception of Christianity and what religion has portrayed it to be?

I've learnt that God does not have any set condition for loving us. The bible makes us understand that, even while we were yet sinners, he died for us. Now only love can drive a man to die for another. Not just any man, an innocent man. So religion has really infiltrated the concept of this love by making humans distance themselves from God and His love. Because they try to do something to earn it and when they fail in their strength, they think God doesn't love them anymore hence they shy away from the throne. 

How has this love shaped your understanding of who God is?

I now can boldly declare a thing and it'll come to pass because I'm sure of the kind Love I bask in. It's potent and it's the strongest force on earth. It conquers all things. Knowing God is having a consciousness of His Love. 

How has this love walk affected your life? i.e Has this love shielded you from trials? If it hasn’t, how have you been able to reconcile the truth of a loving God with the facts of life’s challenges in your face?

Like I said, the consciousness of God's love for you is all you need to face any challenge in life. Because we overcome because we are born of God(love). 1John5:4. I've been through valleys and shadows of deaths. I've only been able to come back because Love upheld me. This voice always says to me; God will not suffer you to die so soon, you are an arrow in the hands of God for this generation and You're God's favorite. So it makes me feel infallible, in gullible and unstoppable. 

If you were given a chance to witness this love to someone, what would you say?

I will say, look at your life and check all the times good things came to you, was it out of anything good you did? The answer will surely be no, you see it is not what you do that bothers God, what bothers God is what you believe. There's someone that wants you to succeed against all odds. He has put food on your table when nobody seemed to be there, He has saved you from that sharp object you didn't see on the floor, He has taken you out of a vehicle that ended up in an auto crash even when you didn't suspect it, He has brought you back safely from traveling and so on. He loves you to bits. All He wants is for you to know Him, believe, trust and thank Him. His name is Jesus. He has paid all your bills, you're free. He wants you to know this and believe it. It takes right believing to do right.



Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Unequally Yoked...

(I was invited to be part of the Woman on Fire series here… and I sent in this piece… Here’s the somewhat edited version. Felt like I had to share it here as well especially as it’s February and love is in the air)

Unequally yoked.
That’s a term we’re not really pumped about. Especially when he’s everything a girl could dream of… tall, dark, handsome (if that’s your cup of tea) or short, light skinned and bald (we don’t judge in christianville) and in addition, rich, kind, sweet, selfless, funny, attentive, smells great, baritone voice… But! (Don’t we just hate the buts?) But he isn’t saved. And here comes 2 Corinthians 6:14(“Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?”) banging against your head.
Well, but he’s better than some of these church boys. Have you met some saved boys? Some of them are everything but that… they are players, you argue, you pray… you cry, and you reason with the word, you tell the word why it’s wrong this time. It’s right in every other thing, but you’ve got to call it out on this, when it comes to the perfect man for you.

So what’s the grey area here? I don’t know. I know a saved lady like you and I who dated her unsaved boo, married him and got him saved, so saved he’s one of the top pastors around today. That gives me leverage to stand before the word. I could save him Lord. I really could. … But then I’ve heard of the saved lady marrying the nice sweet unsaved guy and having so much issues, because as some preachers put it, if he’s not saved, then the devil is your father in-law, and he’ll come visiting as often as he pleases. Because when those little issues come as they will, you’ll take your case to your father and he lets his own father counsel him…. Clash of the titans.

I wish I could advice ladies who bring this subject up, but the truth is, I don’t know what to say to them, especially when there are so many stories of the two scenarios mentioned, and even worse stories of how a saved Christian man messed them up. The saved guys and even pastors who beat their wives? And the unsaved ones who would rather cut themselves than raise an angry fist at their wives? Note, this stories are the exceptions; I have seen beautiful Christian marriages.
I have my personal conviction from the word.
Yes I do want to get married, and yes, I feel like my holding on to this word has caused me to in my human understanding loose some good men and delayed me, but in my super saved spiritual (yes halleluiah somebody, I’m that saved) mind gained a lot, because what I feel I missed out on is waiting for me multiplied in the right saved soul.

But lets get something clear… a Christian man is different from a saved man. Yes he’s a Christian, named Christian but is he saved? Has he always been going to church, or has he had a personal revelation of Christ? We’re talking beyond the surface Christianity here…. So yes, the surface Christian by birth falls into the unequally yoked category.

Being born again, I’ve turned down great friends, people who were the picture of what my mind painted… they were perfect, perfect to present to the world… but according to the word that says I am in the world but not of it, not perfect for me. It was hard… not stone hard, probably boiled egg hard to let go, and watch them forge a new life and get engaged to someone willing and not minding their spiritual life or lack of it.

We get to a place where we ask ourselves if our standard is too high… especially when people begin to question and act like they’re concerned and praying for you because your life is miserable in their eyes without a husband, why do they do that? I think most girls only get depressed about being single because of the comments of strangers. Don’t lower your standard because you want to be married and equally yoked. That’s also unequal, because you don’t go for the best you go for the available. Don’t let any religious talk or prophesy lure/force you into a marriage your heart isn’t sold out to.

One mistake I refuse to make is dating a Christian boy just because he is… The fact that he’s a Christian boy/man in your church doesn’t automatically make him perfect for you. I have been asked out by pastors, good-looking men of God, but no, I’m not so desperate for a Christian man that I jump at the next anointed brother who comes my way. Yes, he may lay hands on me and I stay slain for eternity under the power, and he may even walk on water, but does he make my heart beat? Does he make me laugh? Ok he does (a desperate girl would laugh at any word and her heart would beat rapidly in anticipation of him marrying her, maybe she easily translates this to true love) but are we compatible? Outside loving God together, outside church talks, are we looking at the same path for our future? Do we share same interests? Would he let me express myself outside him? I’m not so spiritual that I don’t come down to earth enough to notice if my heart doesn’t beat for him. No ma!

Christian ladies want to marry pastors and have been blinded by the anointing a man walks in, that they don’t let themselves see him outside the anointing, outside the charisma he eludes on stage/the altar, and so they say yes even before he considers asking, even before they get to know him, because every other single girl is after him… and then they see him for the first time outside the anointing when the thrill of the wedding is over, they see his humanity, they hear the man under the glory and they are horrified. They are left in unhappy but anointed marriages because they are not compatible, not friends, just ministry partners, and they come to church and everyone envies her for the catch she has in the pastor….  But she feels stuck in a marriage that is choking her. Some ladies chose to only see the stage lights; they don’t see the backstage, the part that God’s working on to perfect daily, the human part that is daily being transformed, the part that sulks and demands, the part that is flirty and basks in attention, the part that is sometimes selfish and controlling (and whatever other human flaws) etc. I’m only saying, if that’s your dream to marry an ordained minister of the gospel, then come down to earth and know that he is a man first, before he is anointed so you don’t get overly disappointed when you see the flaws. Look beyond the anointing.

Don’t be overly spiritual that you make the wrong choice or get into a marriage that you know in your heart is wrong for you. Don’t think God will be disappointed in you if you refuse to marry the pastor who likes you when your heart is drawn to the other saved guy without a church title. God loves you so much, and He’s more desperate than you are to give you the best man for you. The one that you’ll be willing to make up with after every fight, the one that you’ll know you’d rather be with than any other, even after his flaws have been laid bare before you. The one who will love you and cover you and make you his crown. This isn’t wishful religious talk. This is the truth, not the truth I’m making up to comfort you as you wait… yes it comforts me, but I know it’s so true.
Personally, I have decided to refuse to be unequally yoked. Both with the saved and unsaved. It looks like it cost me some things, or dragged me behind my mates… but life isn’t a competition. I stand here waiting, working in Gods vineyard knowing that He’s got me(Sister Ruth of Moab would testify to this). And I whistle (rejoice) while I wait. I own this truth and I’m blessed. Be brave and stand on this truth, even when you hurt, even when you break down and cry sometimes.


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