iNyamu's Eldorado

The Joy and Pain of Heels...

2012-01-23T22:27:00.002+01:00

Every morning that I choose to get out of bed is a day of victory. Sometimes I want to lie down and let the pain take over and control how I should feel, because getting up feels like a lot of work. Stretching out, taking that first step, climbing another stair, carrying my handbag, lifting up a baby, driving… these are my little everyday victories against pain. I could choose to let the pain take over, to allow it sip the joy out of me, to wallow in self pity and complain every second of every minute… but I refuse to be defeated in this game of pain. I am more than a conqueror after all.

I love shoes, i love shoes with high heeels; I’ve had some gravity defying shoes in my life. I love the way they control the movement of my body, makes me feel like a lady… makes me want to stand tall even when I want to cower in fear or insecurity. I have even perfected the act of running in heels. I’ve enjoyed them so much, and I seem to tolerate the pain that eats at my leg better when I am in heels. Something I shouldn’t be wearing. The doctor/physiotherapist warned me against them. And I wasn’t even wearing the high ones when he gave me the stern advice. He said I may feel like it doesn’t hurt to keep wearing heels, but in a few years, I’d start to see the effect especially as I battle with the pain and bla bla bla (I refuse to accept that in a few years the pain will still be fighting with me, I’m sure it’ll bow out soon enough). I knew what he said was the truth, but you just can’t tell a girl to stop wearing heels. So I kind of ignored him.

But as I shopped for shoes recently, I subconsciously began to buy shoes with low heels. I noticed I ignored most of the eye candy high-heeled shoes I would have jumped at before. Somehow I got to a point where I began to understand that I have to start taking care of myself to avoid certain setbacks/complications. While I expect healing, I have to do my part in managing the pain as I wait. I don’t know where that resolve came from, but somehow I held on to it… I dropped a couple of shoes I loved because I realized I wasn’t doing myself well. I haven’t completely abandoned heels, I bought me a few respectable ones, and I good number of flats. But I guess that’s a start.

We love certain things and hold on to them, knowing for a fact that they are not right for us, knowing that while we may not see the effect on us immediately, in the long run, we will be affected. But we can’t desist, because that’s what we’ve come to know as the pleasures of life… the good life according to the world’s standard. How do they expect you to be celibate when all your friends aren’t? How do they expect you to be honest, when honesty is not a virtue in our business environment? And so we keep doing everything wrong because it makes us feel right, and an added advantage is that we don’t get a heavenly knock anytime we lie or steal or slip into yet another bed with another man.

But some of us get wise after hearing that advice. We begin to see things as they are, to understand that our instant gratification goes ahead of us to cause us more pain than pleasure in the future, and so we find ourselves sobering up and thinking about what’s best for us. In our shopping, we start buying the flat shoes instead of the heels, shunning some activities that we loved and clinging to those that edify us instead. Its not easy, and sometimes it doesn’t even feel like fun, but it’s worth it. It takes time to completely adjust to the idea of a new and transformed life, just like I still bought some shoes with heels, and even wore one for a wedding a few days ago, It’ll take a little time for me to completely adjust to this idea of not sashaying the right way cos I'm wearing flat shoes.

We find ourselves holding on to some habits we should have dropped even when we've made the choice of being a new person… in the long run, as long as we’re determined to change and hold on to the wholeness of salvation, we’ll slowly begin to shed off those things we hold on to. The Christian transformation doesn’t take place in one day. Sometimes, you’ll find yourself back in the place you don’t want to be at, but as long as you know that's not what you want for you, keep praying for help, for a complete renewal of mind, and you’ll get there, to that place where you'll look back and wonder how you ever thought the old life was the idea of the high life.

Just remember, fact that you're not paying for it now doesn't mean there isn't a price to pay in the future.

“Sin is like an incredible meal that becomes poisonous venom in your stomach. What you eat on Earth you may digest in Hell.” Lecrae

The Preachers Kid...

2012-01-21T19:58:00.003+01:00

Sarah D Henson

"Someone once told me if a dentist's child can have a cavity, a teacher's child needs tutoring, then a preacher's kid can have life struggles. Living up to someone's expectations is no way to live at all. Allow yourself to be you, flaws and all." Sarah

She must have given people a reason to snicker and point fingers at her father… maybe if it was in the days where the whole world was reduced to just a click on the Internet, then the story would have gone viral and facebook would have had debates and twitter would have called Christians names and jokes would have trended with harsh tags like #thepreaherskid causing people to discover their dry sense of humor. But it wasn’t, and I like many others wouldn’t have even known about it if we didn’t hear it from her.

Sarah Henson, daughter of Bishop T.D Jakes got pregnant at age 14, everything her daddy preached against, being holy and living a pure life right out of the window. You see, when satan hits, he hits hard, and when you’re so covered with barricades of protection around you, he goes to the weak defenses, he strikes the next best thing to you which is almost as bad as hitting you… your family. And so he sat back laughing at his victory, he planned on putting a duct tape and some glue on the preacher. He must have celebrated his victory… just like he did on the cross at the death of Jesus. But one thing I’ve come to know, the devil isn't as wise as we give him credit for, if he was, he wouldn’t keep hitting us with his best after what happened on the cross, like the bible says in 1 Corinthians 2:7-8 “(7) God's wisdom is something mysterious that goes deep into the interior of his purposes. You don't find it lying around on the surface. It's not the latest message, but more like the oldest-what God determined as the way to bring out his best in us, long before we ever arrived on the scene (msg) 8.But the rulers of this world have not understood it; if they had, they would not have crucified our glorious Lord (NLT).” True, if he knew about the glory of Christ's death and the salvation it continually brings to mankind, he would never have crucified him.

Like if he knew what path to glory, what woman of faith and passion for the things of God he was carving by getting her to that place she was in at 14, he would have let her be the preachers kid that she was expected to be by default. And so today, beautiful 23 years old Sarah stands with her head held high, not with pride, but with the string of Grace, because she didn’t just seat back and let him win. She moved, one step at a time, reclaiming her life, her dignity, her self image, pushing through the wall of shame and judgment, choosing to get out of the dirt she was pushed into, going back to school, getting a degree, getting married, running a ministry and just being a kingdom princess that she is.

"I can remember feeling like everyone was staring at me, thinking negative thoughts…. I became very
familiar with shame, learned quickly how loud whispers can be, how fast rumors travel. …More
importantly I learned to never let anything or anyone convince me I was no longer worthy of dreaming,
living my life to the fullest.”

Sarah introduced her dad at the woman thou art loosed conference last year.

She has changed lives and encouraged many with her words and by openly speaking about her experience of wanting so much too soon. Letting them know that the past is a place that can be left behind, a place that can be triumphed over, and a place that should never be allowed to trample on us or stop us from attaining the joy of salvation available to all. She’s made many who’ve been through what she’s gone through and more be able to stand up and grab hope back from the claws of the devil. Like Sarah tweets “You can't control what happens today, so don't let what happens control you.”

She’s beat the devil at his own game. Reminds me of Paul saying everything works together for our good... if she didn’t go through a teen pregnancy, would she be where she is today? Serving God and running a ministry with true passion. If she didn’t rise up to grab the hands of grace, to experience it first hand beyond what daddy preached, maybe her life would have just been about another preachers kid doing what she has to do as a preachers kid, putting up a front for the congregation and the world, but not really knowing and understanding what God’s love is all about, just experiencing God in the shadow of her parents and feeling unfulfilled. Not only has she beat the devil at his game, she has a beautiful trophy to show for her victory amongst many others, a walking testimony of Gods grace, her handsome son Malachi... Checkmate!!!!

Sarah and her parents on her wedding day three years ago.

Sometimes we go through things and wonder why? Or maybe we’ve done things we hate ourselves for, our past and all the decisions we made… As much as we hate that we did that, stop for a minute and be thankful for your past, for “all things work together for our good.” If you didn’t, would you have been so thirsty for salvation? Would you be able to understand grace and the depth of God’s love?… Some people don’t have to go through the storm to be brought into God’s grace, but maybe you’re one of those who has to go through the dirt to appreciate the sanctity of righteousness and the loving embrace of grace.

She is a gifted young woman overflowing with wisdom that surpasses her age… but then, when has age ever stopped God? Check out Sarah's blog 'My words, My thoughts, My heart' here and follow her on twitter/ facebook.

*photos: courtesy of Sarah's FB page.

Underwears: Lacey and frilly or Plain and Unflattering.

2012-01-14T09:32:00.001+01:00

I went shopping with my niece, and she had a puzzled look on her face when I picked up some underwear. Then she asked why we had to buy underwear with laces and frills on them when nobody is going to see us wearing them. (Well I’ll get married someday, so someone would definitely see them, but i wasn't about to drive that point home to a little girl) Since i am an unmarried girl, I guess she has a point. Why do I want the fancy underwear when I can stick with the practical ones? Why not just grab anything i can find and be on my way, after all, who is looking?

http://www.fhm.com/imgs

Well, I buy them because I love to feel good on the inside as much as I love to look good on the outside. Besides, If there happens to be an impromptu street stripe search, I want to be ready and able to stand with my head held high if I have to take my clothes off in public. I don’t want to look a mess on the inside and all sassy and nice looking on the outside.So while no one else is seeing me, i love my inside look.

No matter how refined we are… pretty, well dressed and sophisticated, everything changes when what's beneath the surface is brought to light. If underneath fails to compliment the surface, then peoples views about us change. Sometimes Christianity can be like a well dressed lady in designer clothes and lovely hats, but wearing unflattering underwear on the inside.
Christianity is more about the heart, than the number of times we go to church, the number of ‘God bless yous” we say, the hours we dedicate to charity and the weight our money puts on the offering baskets. Yes, It is about all those things, but what matters most is the heart.

Who are we when we’re all alone, by ourselves, stripped of the beautiful and fashionable robe of Christianity? Is there more to our walk than just church?
Imagine they had one of those x-ray glasses that see through things, and random people see through your fancy dresses everyday... you certainly wouldn't want to be a victim especially if you use unflattering undies. That's how God sees through our actions everyday, he sees right through and looks into our hearts. Michael W. Smiths sings that he searches much deeper within, through the way things appears, and he is looking into our heart.
Remember when Samuel went to Jesse’s house to anoint a new king of Israel? He saw lovely looking men, well dressed, handsome and princely, and he was ready to anoint Eliab the first son, and subsequently the other brothers that he saw, but God stripped them of their 'religious' robes from the heavens and saw their hearts. In today's world, they would probably be the Pastor's assistant, the head usher, the choir leader, the department head... but they had nothing as handsome as their looks on the inside, they wore plain unflattering undies "But the LORD said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The LORD doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7

A change of heart is the first step to peace and a nice loving relationship with God beyond the fancy cloak of Christianity, the underwear of a heart of worship and praise and thanks and compassion and love that is all lacy and frilly on the inside is what completes the look for us. Don’t harbor the wrong thoughts and attitudes on the inside thinking no one can see, God sees it all, one day we just might need to stripe on the streets, you don’t want your less appealing undies to be seen, do you? I certainly don't.
If you think it's worth looking good on the outside, then it's worth looking good on the inside too.
"May the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing to you, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer." Psalm 19:14

Señor Don Gato

2012-01-13T17:11:00.000+01:00

My flight has been canceled. I don't want to feel angry or irritated about it, i just don't want to have to unpack. Packing is already a chore as it is. So tomorrow it is... hopefully.
Pray for Nigeria people, there's so much uncertainty, negativity and hate flying around.

I've come to realize that only few Nigerians are able to give rational arguments without throwing insults and raining curses. As long as you have a different view from what they believe is right, you're finished... the insults spans across generations, to your ancestors and all the way down again to the generations to come. We need to grow up, and learn to be civil in our daily interactions. I pray for wisdom for our leaders, and wisdom for the the people. This really has to end soon.
I still believe in Nigeria.

On a lighter note, i remember my sister singing Senor Don Gato, she would come home on holidays from school(Airforce girls military school Jos) and i'd beg her to write the words of the song down for me. What a joy when i found it online years later. You've got to be thankful for the internet...

Señor Don Gato was a cat,
On a high red roof Don Gato sat.
He went there to read a letter,
Meow, meow, meow
Where the reading light was better,
Meow, meow, meow
T'was a love note for Don Gato.
"I adore you," wrote the lady cat.
Who was fluffy, white, and nice and fat.
There was not a sweeter kitty
Meow, meow, meow
In the country or the city
Meow, meow, meow
And she said she'd wed Don Gato.
Oh, Don Gato jumped so merrily,
He fell off the roof and broke his knee.
Broke his ribs and all his whiskers,
Meow, meow, meow
And his little solar plexus,
Meow, meow, meow
"Ay carramba!" cried Don Gato.
Well the doctors all came on the run,
Just to see if something could be done.
And they held a consultation,
Meow, meow, meow
About how to save their patient,
Meow, meow, meow
How to save Señor Don Gato.
But in spite of everything they tried,
Poor Señor Don Gato up and died.
Oh it wasn't very merry,
Meow, meow, meow
Going to the cemetery,
Meow, meow, meow
For the ending of Don Gato.
As the funeral passed the market square,
Such a smell of fish was in the air.
Though the funeral was slated,
Meow, meow, meow
He became re-animated,
Meow, meow, meow
He came back to life Don Gato.

Ahhh, you've got to love the Senor, not even love could bring him to life... but fish did. Sometimes i feel like the Don, i get all perked up at the thought of food.

Heading home...

2012-01-13T01:42:00.000+01:00

I'm leaving for Nigeria tomorrow.
I feel like running out to eat all i can... from nandos, to T.G.I Friday, to Mcdonalds, KFC, Italian and Chinese and just everything. I would miss my junk fix, as much as i look forward to mortal pounded yam.
I look forward to getting rid of the layers and going out without coats and scarfs, I'm excited about wearing flip flops and baring my legs, and wearing light dresses without stockings and tights.
I would miss my nieces, I miss them already, and i just kissed them goodnight, don't want to think about how it'll be tomorrow when i give that last lingering hug before heading to the airport. I hate saying goodbye. It sucks!

I'm thankful for God's grace in the last couple of months, he's sustained me and strengthened me and helped me in my work. I am excited for me. It's going to be a great year indeed.

Wings of Friendship...

2012-01-08T04:34:00.001+01:00

“In friendship...we think we have chosen our peers. In reality a few years' difference in the dates of our births, a few more miles between certain houses, the choice of one university instead of another...the accident of a topic being raised or not raised at a first meeting--any of these chances might have kept us apart. But, for a Christian, there are, strictly speaking no chances. A secret master of ceremonies has been at work. Christ, who said to the disciples, "Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you," can truly say to every group of Christian friends, "Ye have not chosen one another but I have chosen you for one another." The friendship is not a reward for our discriminating and good taste in finding one another out. It is the instrument by which God reveals to each of us the beauties of others.” C.S Lewis

Aren't we all glad for people we can call friends? Especially Christian friends. This quote brought to mind a friend of mine when i first read it. We met when we were still shaky Christians... but together we've grown, well he's grown and I'm coming up, but he hasn't left me, he's up there encouraging me and pulling me up. It takes a conversation with him to fire me up and make me want more... I truly understand what this quote says.

source: http://3.bp.blogspot.com

(Out of context from the quote)
I'm glad for the friend(s) i have to encourage me on bad days, those who have pushed me towards my dreams and whose faith in me, my abilities and strength i didn't even know existed have made me see that i really can. Those who are ready to drop on their knees or bow their heads to say a prayer for me when i need it... or just because they want to.

I have loads of friends, but just a few make me feel like WOW... beyond the gossip, and wanting to take and take and take, and being competitive... it's all just empty companionship. I held on to this emptiness for so long thinking how i didn't want to be left out and all the other empty reasons. But if you believe you can fly, and those around you are still marveling at the pedals of a bicycle, then it's time for you to walk to the street where wings are grown from mutual respect, genuine interest in what your dreams of pushing boundaries are and the giving of encouragement, daily doses of faith, hope and wisdom pumped into you. Somehow, you'll get to meet those who'll help you in your growth, it's up to you to believe and desire change, and be willing to be moved from where you are, to this new place of friendship in this 'chanced' meeting, that is more of the creators creation of an earthly support system that encourages you and takes you where you ought to be.

I'm glad for the friends i have to hold me as i struggle to rock steady in my faith. Those that call to encourage me on the somewhat scary journey I've embarked on... They may be a few, or just one or two, but i know our meeting was far beyond chance in that office, same neighborhood as a child, mutual friends and being born into the same family. Because i have been willing, and more importantly, they have been willing to be there for me, we've stuck it out and i can feel the wings flapping, I'm ready to fly.

Choose from amongst your friends whom you surround yourself with, open your eyes and your mind to opportunities of beautiful friendship thrown at you... Dare to step out of your clique... dare to walk away from the bicycle gawkers and settle in the place where you can fly.Words and negative energy go a long way in limiting you and clipping the wings of your dreams.

An Atheist and A Believer...

2012-01-06T03:48:00.000+01:00

I love Rev. Billy Graham, i think he is one of the greatest and most famous preachers around, as Woody Allen is one of the famous Atheist the world has known.
These are two men poles apart in their philosophies, and both successful in what the do.
Many of us get so aggressive/religious when trying to sell Jesus, we end up been goaded into anger by the questions and comments of those we're trying to 'convert'.

I love how this interview went, Billy Graham kept his cool, was humorous, relaxed and same time managed to stand solidly and calmly behind his belief. I'm pretty sure i would have snapped at some point. Woody delivered some heavy punchlines that would have got me all hot and bothered.
I guess there's something to be learned from this... tolerance maybe?

Part 1

Part 2

Roller Coasters...

2012-01-03T21:27:00.003+01:00

The first time I went on a roller coaster was in some park in N/Korea and I swore never again… I kept true to that promise till winter wonderland, a week before Christmas. From the ground, we watched people ride on the twister coaster and my nieces and I decided it couldn’t be that bad. My brother the sage that he is stayed on solid ground.

I was smug enough to smile and relax when it started, you know the slow start that gets you comfortable before the devil comes to play. I tried to be brave, but there is a time to be brave and a time to scream. I was sort of comforted with the safety wedge, keeping me in my seat, knowing it was secure enough to hold me down, but still not caring, because what I saw, and what I felt was more than the fact that I was held put in that chair. Somewhere in all the craziness, i heard my seven year old niece Gaby (who made us get on in the first place) reassure us “Just know we're going to be fine". That’s before she became possessed with the screaming demon, bless her brave soul.

I heard nine year old Steph scream 'MUMMY' many times as we twisted and turned and dipped and … O, I heard me screaming so bad, with closed eyes, and thoughts of ‘Oh God make this stop” it was such a relief to see the car come to a stop, as shakingly jumped out and held on to my nieces, we burst out laughing when we hit solid ground, it really was over after all, It was ok.

We mocked ourselves for a bit, funny how you remember everyone else scream than yours... and the picture of our scared faces is there to haunt us, I stare at it for minutes and wonder how possible it is to be so scared? I wasn't too pleased to see that we had the scariest faces on, most pictures there had people smiling through the ride.

Since my picture is a shame to "superwomanhood" (those stupid cameras they have up there) This should do... Notice how some almost cry through the rides while others have so much fun and are all smiley?

Source: http://www.sanitaryum.com

even the hard core sportsman...

I consider myself a brave one... like seriously, even though i can't swim i enjoy boat rides, i have hiked up a 5374 feet mountain, gone on a chopper and stuck my head out of the window, and i am preparing to grab the first opportunity i get to hop on a hot air balloon and even sky dive too. But i go back to my resolve, never again will i get on a roller coaster... every amusement park/carnival is all for hot-dogs, games, cotton candy, carousels and giant wheels.

I learned something from coasters, in the train of life, unexpected twists and turns, and dips and climbs and spins will be thrown at us, we could decide to jump out in fear (and die)... or stay on knowing we're secure as long as we have God, he's the hand that keeps us in our seat when the going gets tough, learn to relax and know that whatever it is, all will be well indeed... with that thought in mind, enjoy the ride, smile for the camera... don't let your picture be like mine, a twisted face, opened mouth and ugliness and some splashed on your pretty self :).

P.S: I changed my template... just in case you haven't noticed. #justsaying

Another Year...

2012-01-01T04:30:00.001+01:00

2011 is over.
Seems like just yesterday i was... well, doing whatever it was i was doing :).
I entered into the new year in church, 'Jesus house' was on fire... good fire that is. I needed the heat with all the cold outside.

2012 is here.
We made it into the new year. Yayyyy!!!!!
(i need you to slap yourself real quick if you dread this year and you're freaked out about it because of that 2012 movie you saw. If you've slapped yourself, here's a hug, everything will be fine. Trust me)

It was a somewhat shaky year we just came out of, on one side it was the death of youths, bombs going off and insecurity in the country, on the other side, it was friends getting married, babies being born and dreams coming true for some.
We may have gone through challenges that have left us breathless, we may have had a smooth sailing... whatever it was, the fact that we have life is all the reason we need to lay flat on the floor in thanksgiving.

Work out your salvation in these new year, draw closer to God and he'll draw near to you. Step up your game and leave all that needs to be left behind in the old. We can't keep dragging baggage and filth with us from year to year.
It's going to be a great year, I can feel it... All will be well, i know it... Because God is and has always been on the throne, year in and year out.

I love what this says...
"Just because it's a new yr doesn't guarantee you new things. New actions, new habits, new thinking, new obedience - those reap new blessings. Don't be fooled & think things are going to change for you if you stay the same just because it's a new year. That's not truth.
Stop smoking, breathe better. Eat right, loose weight. Work out, get stronger. Obey God, receive favor. We must change in order 2 see change." @masterwilliams

As you go through the year, hold on to this no matter what it is you face... "Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest." Joshua 1:9(KJV).
In simple English "Strength! Courage! Don't be timid; don't get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take."(the message)

Grateful for you...

2011-12-28T00:44:00.001+01:00

It's been a wonderful journey on this blog.

This is just to thank everyone who takes time out to visit iNyamu's Eldorado, and those who encourage me with mails. And a very special one to those of you who comment(i know how lazy i can be when it comes to the comment section on other blogs, so i do appreciate your comments)

I don't have all the answers, and I'd be foolish to think i write any of this myself. I put my fingers on the keyboard and he takes over. We all have our opinions, so thank you for letting me share a bit of mine as led by my father. This blog is for me as much as it is for everyone who comes on here. I learn a lot from the things i put on here. I've been getting discouraged recently, but from reading 'treason' i was reminded how doubt tries to take over after seating in on our plans. I'm grateful that i can nibble from it too.

Seeing the number of hits each day is humbling, and overwhelming. I pray i never get too big, too busy or too wise to let the holy spirit speak/encourage you through me.
You all come in on the top of my list(well make that within the top five) of things I'm thankful for this year. Thank God for keeping us alive to see the end of 2011.
I pray you'll have a glorious 2012, i pray your expectations will not be cut short, i pray you'll know Christ more and the power of his resurrection, I pray for his grace and favor to lead you on. I pray all your dreams come true.

I love you all more than numbers ;) But seriously, i really do love you.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart and God bless you.

Digging for it...

2011-12-26T14:28:00.002+01:00

You choose to be happy. Happiness is a choice. The joy of the lord is for you, but its worthless if you don't choose to own it, to activate it, to push the worries behind and live on the bright side of life.

I lost sight of that. I have been a complete mess for a couple of weeks. I somehow let the little foxes dig holes in my garden, causing me to worry, not worrying about anything specific, but letting my heart get to a place of weariness.
Would have been much better if I was worried about something specific, like the project I'm working on or stuff.
Oh well.

I prayed on Christmas day, and the voice within whispered... "Be happy." Gods gift to me is his Joy through Christ's Love, my gift to him is being happy.
And so I am happy.
Well, honestly I'm still digging for my happy bone, wherever it's been buried by the foxes.

I love my Christmas presents... They made my heart soar, but we all know material things don't count for happiness.
So I'm digging, its definitely not in the shopping I'll be doing today(because I hate the madness of people on boxing day)
I'm digging it out, and before the new year, I'll be my old jolly self again, well not my old self, but a whole new better, happy go lucky princess of the king of kings.
I'm probably shedding off some baggage in this phase. Like T.D Jakes preached this morning, whatever it is 'be still', so I'll be still in this moment knowing something great is coming out of it.

Hope you had a good Christmas.
God bless you.
X
------------------

Merry Christmas

2011-12-23T15:21:00.001+01:00

I fell in love with this Christmas tree in St Pancras, made entirely of Lego... Very creative.
I've got the Christmas blues... I don't know why, but it sure is making me sad. Whatever it is, I know the JOY of the LORD is my strength.

Merry Christmas everyone. Hope you have a joyful one.
Remember Jesus is the reason for the season, don't push him back while you enjoy his party. Remember him in your shopping and partying and cooking and eating and everything fun you do this season.

Give him a gift even as you excitedly receive and give gifts to family and loved ones.
Show some love, give a smile, a hug to someone in need, say a prayer for someone who needs it, and reach out to the less privileged around you if you can. Show the love of Christ in all you do.

He came that we may have life and have it more abundantly, be thankful for this and many more.
Merry Christmas!!! X

Sales, Sales, Sales...

2011-12-19T01:14:00.000+01:00

Fact that its free or on sale doesn’t really mean we need it. The stores know the working of the human brain, and so the marketers have a blast… get it for half prize when in truth you’re paying the full prize… only reason we have half the things we’ve got is because there was some sort of perceived deal on them.
How do you know you're getting a good deal? When those sales people hound you and tell you how good the new product is, and how you've got limited time to get it at a huge discount.Who says we really are getting awesome bargains?
Funny thing is there's this really good dead sea product that's always 30% off when the sales people market it, years later it's still 30% off for a limited period... everyday people get eaten by that line.

I walk into stores and see things on sale, but still on the pricey side and i get excited about getting them, it's on sale after all. The 'juju' wears off when i get home and look at the items asking myself if i really do need them… Like for real, if they were full price and i could afford them, would i buy them? Or did i just jump into the sea like sailors lured by the voice of the sirens.
Have you noticed how you end up spending more during sales than you would normally spend? Like because it screams 50-70percent off, you just keep picking and picking till your bill is a 150percent above your budget. You get more stupid shopping on a bargain than regular shopping. (many have fallen prey to the delusion of the dollar shops)

It's the Christmas season again, and all the ads on TV, magazines, internet et co seem to be screaming the same thing... "Christmas, Christmas, Christmas!!! Ho ho ho... spend all your money, be stupid. 'Tis the season to be a great fool, max out on your cards, spend all your cash, devour your overdrafts, get sunk in credit bills... shop shop shop"
And we fall for it, because the sales... Oh, the sales. Most ladies have been victims of 'never been worn' outfits piling in their closets, just because "well, it was a good offer".
Back when i used to swallow the red sign of sale line, hook and sinker... Mercy. I have been a fool a hundred times. A familiar guest to the backstreet of 'shoppers remorse'.

Same way, just because the world offers some things, some pleasures for half the price(and even free), doesn't mean you need them. That instant gratification is more costly than you can ever imagine. By the time you're done revelling in the pleasure you easily access, you realize how senseless it all is. "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body." 1 Corinthians 6:18. Fact that you get sex thrown at you, doesn't mean you should grab at it, if you really do need it, then you'll purchase it for the full price and not off the sale shelve. Not just with sex but every other thing... in our pursuit of wealth, joy and peace. In a world where everyone seems to be liberated, and rules on morality has been bent, you do not have to buy into its half measures, and total reduction on the price of salvation.

"Temptation by its very nature is deception, a lie. What is evil is deceitfully presented as good, what is harmful as helpful, what is poison as antidote, what is enslaving as liberating, what is foul as fun. Temptation is what a trap is to an animal. It offers something good, but its true intent is to trap and kill." Dr. Richard P. Bucher

Learn to be wise, if you easily fall prey to the snares of sales, then avoid the malls as much as you can, same way you should flee from certain places and people that play on your weak points and cause you to fall into sin.
I'm so grateful that literally I've learned to shop with a head on my shoulder, i was taught the hard way, especially in a time where pennies are tight, it's saved me a whole lot. I don't go around hauling things that would be thrown aside, useless and unworn for years. I buy just what i need. Same way, i walk away from sales non literally, i don't walk away in both sense by my own strength but by God's grace.

It's as simple as this... flee from temptation. "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you" James 4:7
I know how much of a struggle it is, but it is possible to walk away from things that would only end up hurting you/temptation "No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it." 1 Corinthians 10:12(msg)
When you're forced to go to the mall for some reason, It's really possible to walk past shops with sale signs screaming at you and not give in, as long as you hold on to God all the way.

Be a wise shopper this season and beyond.

He went ahead...

2011-12-16T00:20:00.000+01:00

There was a fire outbreak at the house in Lagos two days ago. All I know is that it could have been much worse. The generator exploded in the middle of the night, and there was a drum of diesel and then there was fire in the carport and cars were packed under, but for some reason, no car was parked in the last spot, right next to the generator.

Several factors were in place to prevent collateral damage, details i don't want to go into. But it feels like everything was orchestrated in anticipation of that fire... set in place to make the damage a little less than a grain of sand. Since it was right in front of the house, my sister who was home alone could have been trapped in the compound, all the cars could have gone up in flames and... Thank God for neighbors who came out, thank God for the dear electrician who came around and decided to spend the night in the boys quarters for some funny reason, and who risked driving the cars out of the compound, thank God for the fire service responding... now that's a major miracle, fire service responding just in time in Nigeria? only God knows how that happened.

What would i have done if i lost all my shoes and books?...(I'm allowed a little humor here :p)

All this got me thinking of God's goodness, and how he's always several steps ahead of every pain/issues we're confronted with. That's why we should never stop praying.

God doesn’t say ‘IF ' he says ‘WHEN’ the enemy comes like a flood, the spirit of God will raise a standard against them. (Isaiah 59:19)

Meaning it doesn’t matter who you are, born again or not(better born again and on his side) affliction will come, but God has got your back, he knows the plan of the enemy even before he makes it, and so he goes ahead… the blood of Jesus makes the crooked paths straight, he orchestrates things and puts things in place, so when that flood comes, when that fire comes, we are not consumed because he already went ahead to do things.

Like giving you the wife you married, because he knew there would come a time in your life when everything would turn against you, an attack so bad on everything you've worked for, that your faith would be shaken. So he gave you ‘Kemi' instead of 'Ada', in preparation for that time. Because you see, Ada isn't strong enough, she would walk at the first sign of distress. But he knows Kemi has the shoulders that can wedge a mountain, and so she'll help you keep your head up, she can pray up a storm, without her bosom to lean on, you would take a rope and end it.

He let them lay you off from that Job, because he knows what his perfect will is, if you remained in the comfort and security of your office, you would never have dreamed of taking that path that leads you to your purpose.

He allowed you to have a flat tire just as you drove out of the house, while you mumbled and grumbled about being late, you escaped driving right into that robbery, the one with the stray bullet meant for you.

He allowed 'Akin' to dump you, because he was saving you from a bitter marriage and an even messier divorce.

Thus in everything give thanks... It could have been worse.

He just orchestrates things to work for our good, things we seem do without thinking. He prepares us without us knowing, prepares us and places things in place for those moments when the fire rages. We are saved only by grace.

"Prayer goes into the future of those being prayed for, to prepare the way for that"

I'm thankful i still have a home to go to when I'm back in Lagos. Gosh, God is faithful indeed.

To everyone reading this, God will indeed crown your year with good things, there is nothing that you'll go through that God cannot handle.He'll fill your mouth with testimonies upon testimonies. And remember, when the enemy comes at you... God has already gone ahead to make you a conqueror, you will not be consumed by problems that come your way. Just keep praying, and keep on keeping.

Time to snap your fingers...

2011-12-14T23:31:00.002+01:00

*Please DON'T skip the videos. If you could sit down to watch the whole length of Vic O's interview, or even go through the pains of watching his music videos with your slow internet connection, then you owe it to yourself to watch my p4cm videos.*

I am a sucker for spoken word/poetry. I bless God for the day i discovered the 'passion for Christ movement aka p4cm'. They just preach it, and preach it and preach it. I always have finger aches from snapping too hard when they preach it... like PREACH IT, undiluted. I'm always challenged when i watch any of the performances. It's beyond amazing seeing young people passionate about Christ and choosing to separate themselves in today's world where conformity rules.
One of my all time favorites is Ezekiel Azonwu. He always tells it as it. I'm especially drawn to this video, Enjoy...

"I'd rather be an outcast now, than be cast out later." #word. *snapping fingers*

"I can't deny that I had to use real eyes to realize that I had an 'I' problem. Until I visited the eye doctor and he told me I needed to cross out my 'Mes', to cross out my I's, and I'll never ever be able to see life until I see life cross-eyed. I mean CROSS I'ed. He changed the way I see and literally became my Visine just to show me that without a drop of him EYE BURN, I said without a drop of him I BURN." #thatisall

And of course, i love Janette..ikz too, she's such a treasure. Here's a piece she did with Ezekiel... gives me the goosebumps... if you're not left snapping you fingers and re-accessing your stand with Christ after this, then i kind of give up on you :p

Getting bounced sucks...

2011-12-14T02:31:00.000+01:00

Being bounced is not a good feeling. Especially when you’re me. ME!!!! I mean I’m too cool for school, in my own eyes that is :p. The untouchable, the incredible hunkess, the babe…. The…. You get my point?

So I was traveling with my brother-in-law. Thanks to him, I didn’t have to join the long queues at Murtala Mohammad airport. I just rode on his back/ticket, through a fast track check-in and immigration, even with my depressing coach ticket. That little detail was ignored by the officials. That's why i love Nigeria(sometimes)

I got into the BA lounge with him. Me feeling nice, and sort of forgetting that the fact that we lounge together, doesn't mean we would seat together on the plane, forgetting that there would be a separation when we boarded. And so I ate and drank a little too much from the buffet selection. I was going to enjoy my moment in there. I ignored the call for boarding like those in the lounge, and casually boarded with them when the queue disappeared. That’s when the reality hit me, he turned left and I turned right all the way to the back of the plane, squeezing my way through to my coach seat :(.

We got to heathrow and i picked myself up again, ready to ride on bro-in-law's back again, confidently going into the first/gold member arrival lounge. He was going to freshen up before heading home, and I planned on stuffing myself with food while I waited.

O boy, the bouncing I got. Those people refused to accommodate me, only him. I was stunned. Even with my smile, and the subtle plea. BA would not let me lounge for a few minutes. I missed naija system bad at that moment, where you only have to frown, or smile at the lady in front, depending on her mood, and she would concede to letting your guest in(because she doesn't want to get in trouble with the big man, and she wants a tip too)...

That’s how I was bounced out. With a heavy heart I let him go in to do what he had to do and I went down to wait with the masses, fuming at the thought of hot chocolate from costa... a far cry from the choice selection i was targeting at the lounge. Fact that I could ride on his ticket and pass through security and into the lounge in Nigeria didn’t mean I could enjoy the same previlege on the plane and in London.

Getting bounced is not a good feeling. Not only is it embarrassing, it is embarrassing, and embarrassing, and some more embarrassment added to that. Just messes up your plans.

Or maybe with all the fame you enjoy in your circle of friends, and all the money you have, you get bounced out of some club... You see people you roll with walk in, and just as you pop your collars, ready to step in, and give the club some huge profits, the bouncer stands in the way. Something about you looks like you're not worthy of being in their 'prestigious' club. What were you thinking wearing baggy jeans/baseball hat/sportswear to a place where everyone is expected to dress in smart pants, shoes and jackets et co? Not even your money can save you at that point, rules are rules. .

source:http://2.bp.blogspot.com

Today, we are riding on the shoulders and spirituality of our pastors, we've climbed the back of the church groups we belong to, used our offerings and tithes as a perfect cover in our less than perfect walk. Relied so much on the titles the church hands over to us, we've used this to scale through the worlds security system that is weak in seeing the truth beyond the physical. It's reliance on 'religion' rather than 'salvation' has made us get away with neglecting our spiritual life. All these things give us acceptance in the world… like the Nigerian factor, no questions asked as long as we are with the 'big' man/pastors, or hiding within the confines of these things.

So we rely on the activities and affiliations, forgetting to work out our own salvation. We are taken over by a followership and adoration of our pastor, being members of the big and visible churches, being in one church committee or the other, and attending the church events. We have forgotten to "...work out your salvation with fear and trembling" Philippians 2:12 because we have found rest in the tickets/salvation of others/church activities.

I'm only riding on my blog posts if i don't practice what i preach. It all means nothing if people see me as this born again christian from what they read here. It's an invalid ticket/a coach ticket is all it is, if i don't work out my own salvation beyond the things i feel led to share.(now that's a somewhat scary thought)

But a time of separation comes "...and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats.”Mttw 25:32

That’s when it hits us, that’s when we realize that all along we didn’t have our upper-class tickets, we were blinded because the world judged us based on the people we followed, they viewed us as saved because we followed our pastor everywhere, and sang in the choir, and gave huge donations for the church building. We forgot that we were going to a land where no compromise is accepted, you either hold your own ticket or first/gold card or get out of the lounge. There would be no guest, no +1 allowed in.

At the pearly gate we realize that the show we put up, the things we impressed people with, is not enough to get us in, it may have given us a pass in the world like the naija factor, and we may have enjoyed the feast that comes with the 'religious' titles, but it certainly doesn’t mean heaven will open to us.

Don’t be bounced out of heaven. Work our your salvation with fear and trembling, pay the prize and make the sacrifices to get your own ticket. Your pastor cannot sneak you in, being in the choir still doesn’t qualify, your wife's fasting, your mothers prayers, and your father's devotion to God is not going to get you in.

"Then those who grew up 'in the faith' but had no faith will find themselves out in the cold, outsiders to grace and wondering what happened." Matthew 8:12(the message)

Las gidi oni baje o...

2011-12-12T22:45:00.001+01:00

http://27.media.tumblr.com

I think Lagos is a beautiful place, and then sometimes I think it’s just ugly and I want out. I just want to be able to drive to the airport without being apprehensive about traffic and missing my flight. I want to be able to just drive, and not crawl through traffic most of the time, drive and not have a headache from being sane for not just me, but the other lunatics driving on the road.

I drive into Lekki, thankful that I live there and not somewhere else, that’s until I turn into some street on the way to the dry cleaners and the car gets battered by the horror of the road, flooded with water from bad drainage.(you would think Phase 1 with it's ridiculously expensive living would save you some of these troubles). Then i head out and I'm hit with sights of poverty in some areas. People living under bridges and those living in the slums. From the luxury of Queens drive, Park view, Bourdillon and Banana Island in Ikoyi to the hustle of Ajegunle. There’s just this mixture of beauty and ugliness, two extremes that sometimes feels unreal.

I can get lost in my little world of brunch at cactus, theater at terra, cinemas, fancy clothes and sometimes driving around in an aced car, or the joy and pain of red cabs. I don’t have to wake up in the A.M's to try to beat the traffic on third mainland bridge like some people do, all because they have to get to work early, and then walking into their homes just before midnight, because there was some hold up, some robbery, something that caused a five hour standstill traffic.

I get to attend polo games when I can. I’ve got friends and friends of friends who own boats; we ride in some luxury boat to their beach houses, and have fun. Always one wedding carnival or the other that transports us to a world outside Lagos. Its fun… it’s the Lagos I choose to know, the Lagos I choose to enjoy. The Lagos that is beautiful. ~~The Lagos of Bella naija, not that of Linda Ikeji.~~(Have you noticed how Linda Ikeji dishes a healthy portion of both the good and bad of this city, while Bella Naija is sort of like the fairy tale version of Lagos?)

Chevron estate lekki

Makoko slums(estate) Lagos. source:http://image.guardian.co.uk

But same time in my little comfort zone… I have been confronted in traffic by hoodlums, hitting the window and demanding for my phone and stuff with menacing looks that promise to devour me if i don't corporate, near robbery experiences. Orchestrated by people who live in the ugliness of this city, people who have been bombarded with more ugliness than beauty. I have driven out of the house in the afternoon only to be turned back because a major robbery was taking place in a bank close by, with shootouts between robbers and the police. I have been scared off certain places for a period when robbers chose to rob in style by going into choice hangout spots some years ago.

in the slums. source:http://www.bbc.co.uk

Far from the slums

See, even in the beauty I choose to seclude myself in, I can’t even hide from the ugliness around. I have a good meal, have a bed and a room to myself, and then I drive to ajah… to see my tailor Baba Gana. A sweet old man, with a stack of designer gears with labels stacked on his table, one of those dresses would pay his rent for the year. Dresses that would be used for events he can't even imagine exists. He stays in his one room with his wife and children, he complains about the toilet everyone in the 'yard' share. He’s old and sweet and good at adjusting the clothes we buy that need to be nipped and tucked to fit right… at that moment, I’m transported to his world, to the ugliness around and outside my place of comfort. Everyday different luxury cars come over to him and the children in the compound are excited and amused, you would think we were in some village far from civilization...

Some children taken to school in chauffeur driven exotic cars, while others walk to school and get knocked off as they cross some road to get to school in patched up uniforms.

Ajose Adeogun: My car's one of the victims here.

Nigeria's Next top model.

Outside the explosive music scenes, fashion shows and red carpet events… there’s always something to look at with bitterness and think about how messed up the town is. The rain pours and we pray there's no flooding and our cars and homes are safe(even on the 'beautiful' side we live). We are confronted by overheated cars on third mainland bridge, cars that fail under the pressure of a killer traffic. Bus drivers with brains in their butts, lastma officials who harass for no legal reason. Area boys drive us out of the beautiful beaches close to us, so we have to resort to the private confines of la campaign Tropicana and other private beaches or rely on the generosity of those with beach houses. But we live all the same, we don’t move out of lagos because we can’t stand some of the things it throws at us.

Prostitutes lining the streets of V/I. We look past them, past the ugliness of what these girls are reduced to because it's a fixture we're used to seeing. And so we drive through the ugly fixture of Adeyemo alakija to the beauty of a nice ice cream meal at ice cream factory. Ugly stories of kidnapping, rituals and disappearances. Of boyfriends murdering girlfriends and buildings collapsing. But the fact that these ugly things rear their heads at us doesn't stop us from enjoying the beauty when we can, and while we can. Lagos is a big cooking pot with all the ugly spices blended in with the nice aroma of basil, rosemary, thyme et co to make a great meal.

apartment building somewhere on the mainland

Apartment building in Ikoyi. source:http://bola2008.files.wordpress.com

I went on a chopper ride once, when caverton offered the air tour services. I wanted to do something different. Be away from Lagos but be in Lagos… if it makes sense. Being up there was great, just the pilot, my friend and i, not chatting, but taking it all in. There was an overall perspective… the beauty and the ugliness, everything was blended in, and Lagos was just a beautiful, peaceful place. From up, the ugliness is swallowed by the beauty. Surrounded by savannahs and the blue of the ocean and nice architectural buildings(ok, i don't know how to paint pictures that well). I mean seriously, from up there all the good and beauty we sometimes miss in our daily hustle and anger over some ugly situations overshadowed the ugliness, and crime and traffic and cheating, and fake girls and everything. It was just one fine city that I loved.

Life’s got its ugly and beautiful moments, sometimes we miss the beauty because we’re trying so hard to protect ourselves against the ugly. But the fact that there’s so much ugliness around doesn’t mean we would be better off not living. As beautiful as life is, we can't escape it's ugliness, it's like that stroke of color we need to make the picture complete.

If only we had the vantage point of God, he who seats on the throne, just like I could see from that chopper, we would understand that all is well indeed. He sees the overall picture, he knows what his plans are, plans of good for us. If we could see what God sees from up there, then we would embrace life, even when the ugliness creeps into our beauty. The ugliness can't be compared with the overall beauty of all that he gives to us, all that our life is about. So align yourself with him, and know that everything will be alright. Because Life is good indeed, especially with God on your side.

(I was going to do a photo post on the beautiful and ugly sides of Lagos, but you'll have to do with this :p )

Mimi's 1st...

2011-12-10T08:59:00.002+01:00

My baby is one today!!!!
I'm so excited for her. I spent so much love on her two sisters, i couldn't imagine loving anyone more... and then she came, with a love hook like no other.
I am completely taken with her.
Her eyes, they tell a story, and i just want to look in them as long as i can, trying to figure out what it sees, what it's making with the pictures life throws at it.
Her smile... it melts my heart.
She loves to dance.
She's a strong, funny and beautiful girl...
One of my favorite things to do, is pick her up and raining kisses on her. Or laying in bed with her when she sleeps and just putting my face next to hers. Listening to her breath.
Babies create this interlude in life, you know that place where you're lost in their innocence and the joy of being with them that you forget how cold it is outside. Because they don't know and don't care about what's going on, you have no choice but to be free from all that when you carry them.

I've been told she looks like me, i don't see the resemblance, but i take the compliment and run with it.

Here's to Michelle... my true love, my best ever 'early' Christmas gift. She's been such a blessing and i can't thank God enough for blessing us with her. There's a whole lot of greatness brewing in her, the joy of the lord will be her strength all her days. The world is her oyster and she's going to be producing a whole load of pearls with it. Love you Mimi.

P.S Due to popular perception, i have to clarify that she is my niece... my 3rd niece. Doesn't mean i don't wish all mine :)

I.M.P.L.I.C.A.T.I.O.N: Na wetin i go talk?

2011-12-08T15:34:00.000+01:00

I visited Mynes blog and i left in stitches, laughing all morning. All because of a pair of white pants. So I'm sharing this story here. This is a pure case of 'it wasn't me' when it truly wasn't but everything around you is a picture of 'it really was you'.
___________________

Dat morrin as I wan baff na so I dey put ear for dis babe music, Omawunmi, dat song wey she sing say, ‘If you ask me, na who I go ask?’ My madam don comot tey tey and I know say before she go come back e go still tey, so I say before I baff make I carry my body go upstairs for her and oga room. E get one fine white trouser wey she buy and I be one go taste am because I hear say person yansh dey come out well well for white trouser especially if you no wear pant or you wear g-string. Before I go continue my tori make I talk about my madam and oga dem.

My Madam: She no too good, she no too bad. Sometimes when I go market come back late, she no go even send me. She go just talk say, “Ehen, I know you went to see your boyfriend. Thank God you didn’t stay too long. Now hurry into the kitchen, my baby would soon be back.”

And sometimes when I wash clothes and the ting still get small stain, she go talk say, “You are too dirty Mary, sometimes I wonder if your undies are even clean”; and the annoying ting be say na infront of oga she go shout the whole ting so tey my oga come dey look me one kain.

My Oga: He no too good, he no too bad. Na to dey blow grammer up and down like say im be professor, but I hear say im no even finish unifersity say as im papa die, d guy jus use im papa money push im business so tey the business come grow yakata, now my oga na big man. The man no dey eye me o, na jus jeje all of us be for house.

Myself: Eferibodi know say I be cool babe. I no dey like wahala, na only to dey wish say one day I go be like my madam. I go get housemaid full ground. One go dey wash my clothes, another one go dey iron my clothes, another one go dey cook my food and the last one go dey go market, abi wetin man pickin want again for this world?

So make I continue my tori. As I enter dem madam room, I jus go straight to the wardrobe because I no wan waste time. I rush comot my wrapper, come wear the trouser. Omo men, if you see as the ting fine for my body ehn, you go wan tief me! Na as I dey comot the trouser na im I hear person dey come the room side. Omo, see as I dive enter the wardrobe, even Jackie Chan for give me award. The door open and as I hear my oga voice dey talk with im phone, e be like say dem pour cold water for my body, wetin I go talk say I dey do for dia room?

“Yes, it’s fine. I was thinking we could go for that art exhibition taking place at the art gallery.”

I no know wetin the pesin reply am but I hear as im laff.

“No, Tunde. I am married and you know I wouldn’t stray. If you bring that lady over to the exhibition, I may persuade wifey to come with me and that could be quite unpleasant for the lady and yourself. Quit trying to make me fall man, I wouldn’t do anything to hurt my wife. Look I’m going to put you on the speaker because I want to take off my clothes”

Chei, Oga abeg no comot your cloth, abeg! God where you dey? But e be like say even God dey use me play as my oga comot im cloth finish come even mess on top.

“You are crazy men! Why would you fart like that with me on speaker?” The voice from the phone ask my oga.

“Really, that’s a ridiculous question. I can do whatever I want in my house. Moreover I am alone.”

Abeg Oga you no dey alone o, no mess again abeg. Kai! The mess smell no be small. Shey na de food wey I dey cook dey make oga mess smell like this?

“Hey man, I’ve got to go. I want to have my bath and freshen up before wifey comes home. We’ll talk later.”

My oga cut the call come enter bathroom. I manage come outside as I say make I look for my wrapper wey I throw inside wardrobe wen oga dey come, na im one big abarra land for my back.

“So this is what you and my husband do, when I am not around?!”

All my body shock and piss nearly comot as I bin hear madam voice for my back. Una don forget say I no wear pant and my yansh jus chook outside as I bin wan bend down carry my wrapper. As I turn face madam, I jus weak because I know no how I wan take talk am. Make una helep me!

This is a short story by Enoquin. Read more from her on Naijastories.

_________________

Sometimes things really aren't what they seem to be. We've got to give people a chance to be heard, sometimes there really is an explanation.

The dinner date...

2011-12-08T08:00:00.000+01:00

I was in the midst of a crowd... I was absorbed in thought, my eyes watered every now and then. Not even the music and enthusiasm of the half dressed ladies bumping and grinding could shake me. They just reminded me of the fact that I wasn't meant to be there, my skin was crawling... and so i punched furiously on my blackberry, and tried to pray in my head, that didn't work, i imagined God looking down at me with disappointment. How in the world could i have sat in this environment at one time and looked at it as normal.

I learnt a great lesson that night... Listen to the still small voice even when you're desperate to do what it warns you against, it knows what it says. It knows the drama it's saving you from. It's left to you to listen... saves you from a lot of trouble.

I remember how i was invited to some event at De Marquee a while ago, i was excited to go because i had become a social vegetable. A little dust me up wouldn't hurt nobody shei?
So it didn't sound bad... it wasn't a party per se, or so i told myself. I looked through my 'been a while since i wore' outfits and settled on a Deola Sagoe piece, matched it up and a diva was created.
But i felt uneasy as i went through my dress rehearsal. I tried to ignore the feeling of 'you shouldn't go' as i prepared for the next night.
Eventually caved in to the nag about going and put the outfit away. The kind of peace i felt when i told myself i wasn't going anymore was beyond me. It's those little feelings you listen to. I wasn't meant to be there after all. Like i wasn't meant to be out on this night.

This night that i found myself choking on the atmosphere. I refused to listen to the voice, i fought off the tiny voice that told me to just forget about it, even as my ride was running late. I ignored the feeling that tugged at me, you know that feeling when somethings trying to tell you to stop... i ignored it when i checked my lipstick in the mirror, i ignored it when i brushed my hair one last time, i ignored it when i did my pouts and took myself pictures on my phone while i waited for the car. I ignored it because it was a friday night, and my friends and i were heading out to have good food... not to a club or a party, just a date night with the ladies. (The voice told me it would be fun if i go to nandos instead, and see a movie after that, by myself, spend some time alone. The voice sounded crazy for saying that, why go alone when i could go somewhere nicer with 'friends'.)
Sometimes i am a junkie when it comes to food. It's beyond reason, i get the shakes... seriously.
You should see me when i crave a Mcdonalds' and i can't get it at that moment... not a nice sight.
So, what is it with women and getting in trouble because of food? Didn't Eve get had because of food? a little red juicy apple?

Well I got the food.
It wasn't worth it. My brain had over-hyped the need to eat out. That's what it does, tells you how bad you need something, and the moment you get it and realize how it's not worth it, Ms brain looks lost and shrugs, 'why so mad' when you give her the eye.
The restaurant happened to be a sort of club on friday nights. I didn't know that.
I was still out at 2am. Last time i was out beyond 12midnight was the church's vigil...
I kinda felt violated. Why did they have to bring me here? I was on the verge of mad crazy.
I couldn't wait for the girls to STOP and take me home, but of course that would be till they had sipped every bit of fun from the place. A cab would have cost me about 70quid that i didn't have on me. This wasn't the fun i envisioned. My night was to be food, girl talk and home in two hours. Not food, hang around and dance the night away.

I got people coming over offering to buy champagne, and all i could do was seat there amazed, i totally forgot how the system worked in this world. Flash the bubbly, get her number or more if you're lucky. It gets a little heady, you start to feel good with yourself when you notice the attention you get, you almost forget what you're about. But thank God 'almost' doesn't mean you actually forget.
It wasn't hard for them to see how unimpressed i was with their offers.
Maybe i should have offered them salvation in exchange for their champagne? Now that would have been something. Me in red lipstick moving from person to person, and offering them Jesus for free while they boogied.
(And have you noticed how clubs play Christian songs in their mix? like seriously? One minute they were dancing to 'sex, booty, drugs' and next doing the church sort of dance to 'igwe'. I laugh in korean)
It was a long night indeed, and i couldn't say "Thank you Jesus" enough when it was time to go home. All i could think of was 'never again, i should have listened to the voice that told me to chill on my own.

As much as i didn't go there to party, this feeling of guilt came over me, i felt like i had spent the night clubbing. I eventually realized it was an attack on my faith, something i had to go through to teach me a lesson on grace and Christianity. Yes i sat through the music and watched people dance and all, yes i didn't participate but i don't know... all i know is i couldn't pray the next day. I just felt so cut off from God. I was brooding about my night for so long that you would think i was jumping on tables and dancing with a bottle of champagne in my hands all night. Then it hit me, the only reason i felt that way was because that's what the devil wanted... to cut my line of communication with God, feel like i'm far away from him, and the more i beat myself about not listening to the spirit going out when i was advised not to, the more i would try hiding from God, and with time, I'd keep drifting away from him in my state of non-issue guilt. Till i find myself truly cut off from him. That got me over the night fast enough.
All because of food fa? i had to go through that torture.

I think most Christians go through this, sometimes we fail, we are less than perfect in our walk with God, and so we run away with the shame of it all. We refuse to face him like Adam, we hide behind the leaves and hide from God, we refuse to pray so we don't have to face him. We forget his grace is sufficient.
The devils victory is not in his getting you to fall into sin, it's in his making you believe there's no use getting up again. 'After all, you fell last week and you're back on the floor again after asking for forgiveness, God wouldn't listen anymore' he makes you believe. That's the mindset many have, and so they drift away from grace that is readily available for them if only they ask. Show yourself naked and ask to be covered again with grace. "The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again. But one disaster is enough to overthrow the wicked." proverbs 24:16 Don't let that one disaster get you lying on the floor like a piece of thrash.

As much as i try to limit and screen the friends i hang out with, i kind of judged this one night situation wrong. We were to go out for a lunch date next, i quickly declined. Not even the restaurant they chose and the food i could have had could tempt me to go out with them anymore... The fear of food is the beginning of wisdom indeed.
------------------

He's right there...

2011-12-04T19:54:00.001+01:00

Some days i dress up and i know without a shadow of a doubt that 'This is it!!!!'
I don't need any compliment to make me feel good about my dressing, i don't need anyone to validate the look. I go out with confidence, and care not if i'm complimented or not. Because i know.
Then there are days when i dress up and i don't feel it, i feel just thrown together and unpretty. My hair doesn't feel just right, i would have looked better with this or that and something else. But then with this state of mind, i step outside and everyone is complimenting on how lovely i look, and o how so pretty and bla bla bla, and in my head I'm like seriously?
Was on the bus one day, and this sweet old man asked if i was a movie star. I wasn't feeling me that day and i just felt a burst of adrenaline after he complimented me. I really am good the way i am, i might not always see it, but it's there for sure. There is no denying it, in the prettiest of dresses or with the messy hair. I am amazing just the way i am. :p

I was reminded of those moments some days ago. They show me how sometimes we feel Gods presence so strong in our life, that we don't need anyone to tell us that God is indeed God. Because everything seems to be working out so well. We feel him just seating there and raining kisses on our face when our needs are met in quick successions... When life as they say, is good.
And then those moments when life feels low, we're depressed, we loose our joy, and we are loosely hanging on to our faith. Our world seems to be falling apart and we get pushed to a point in our despair that we scream at God, 'God where are you?'
When we're waiting for the promise, when our hearts are heavy with pain and door after door is shut in our face.

'I say to God my Rock,
"Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?"

My bones suffer mortal agony
as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"

Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.'

Psalm 42:9-10

Photo Source here

If only we remember Gods' word "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." Hebrews 13:5
The moments when i feel less of a chic are the moments i get the nicest words thrown at me.
Those moments when we feel God must have taken a stroll from our lifes, when we feel he isn't there, are moments when he is most visible.
Because his strength is made manifest in our weakness. "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9
Who says you'd still be standing, be able to get out of bed and live despite all you're going through if God wasn't with you?
Who says you wouldn't have cut yourself, or overdosed on drugs to end your life if God wasn't there with you?

Only Gods grace gives us the strenght to keep going while we wait.
Only his grace helps us push through the challenges even with the tears in our eyes. Only his grace dares us to want to get up and out of the place we're at.
You haven't turned to prostitution/runs girl, you haven't turned to drugs or internet fraud even in your desperation. Only God with you could have kept you.
He's right there with us, being our strength in our weakest moments.
He's right there, and that's why he says "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." Isaiah 43:2

The footprint poem best describes God in our down times. source:http://us.123rf.co

I'm having one of those moments where somewhere in my heart i dared to question. (I really didn't know i was until i started writing this)
Walking through another seemingly hopeless moment, feeling like the enemy is coming in like a flood, feeling like i'm about to be consumed by doubt ... but i was reminded of how God is always there. Funny how he used my 'chic' moments to show me that.
Thus i wouldn't dare look away from God because i think he's left me as the pain increases (and trust me, i am in a lot of pain both physically/emotionally) I wouldn't drop my faith and look for an alternative. I will hold on in my pain, hold on in my fear, hold on as i feel the water rise above me, hold on as the fire is heated up, knowing that he is there. And because he is, i will come out victorious, for i am more than a conqueror through him who loves me (Romans 8:37).
In sickness... whatever the duration and discomfort, the end shows that i have already conquered it. In chasing my dreams, whatever the obstacles, i have already conquered. In living, whatever the fear... whatever it be, i know the end, and the end is a victorious one.
And so, 'Thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.' 1 Corinthians 15:57

If you're ever down in the valley, just trust in him, knowing he is there... "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." Psalm 23:4

Rumor has it...

2011-12-01T01:37:00.000+01:00

Gossip needn’t be false to be evil – there’s a lot of truth that shouldn’t be passed around.
~ Frank A. Clark

http://cdn.sheknows.com

Every one has an opinion about every other person. It becomes a problem when you paint a graphic picture of it and peddle it out as a fact. Trying to bring someone down just because you have the power to do so with your tongue. Now thats plain crazy.
It used to be fun hearing stories about certain people, because i sort of looked at them from far and thought they had it all good, they were people i couldn't be, because i saw myself as a lilliputian, instead of the Gulliver i really am. A little smear or two on their perfection wouldn't hurt nobody, and so when the stories came in all juiced up, i swallowed with glee never having any reason to doubt the source. That's what a small mind does to you.

These days i have learned to give everyone the benefit of a doubt. The fact that everyone is whispering the same story doesn't make it true. I have loads of male friends, and because i do, i can't even begin to count the number of them i have been said to date... enough to make Madonna blush, my mother used the governments' money to build a mansion, she is feeding off the government (and I'm still saving money to buy a bag o), my sister is gearing up to be the second wife of a certain governor, another sister is on the neck of some boy (she can't even stand saying hello to) to hasten the wedding date... Every other day is another story that gets the mouth hanging open.
He said, she said, they said... The moments when the rumors and gossips turned on me have made me realize how people have fallen victims and have been accused of things they have no idea about. Most times, all the juicy gossips are baseless talks to bring a person down... I wonder how a person sits and weaves a whole bunch of lies into a true picture they see, making it a believable fact. They say there is no smoke without a fire, but seriously, lighting a match to cook a meal is all it takes for them to paint a picture of a burning forest.

"Gossip can go under other names-backbiting, slander, rumors, hearsay, tale-telling. At its best, gossip whispers dubious hints, repeats questionable information, turns the light on another person a few degrees to the left, or suggests wrongdoing without facts to back up the suggestion. Gossip is a sin, for it depreciates personhood, often trying to make someone else look bad so you or I can look good. God hates gossip. We should too."
iLumina interactive Bible

When it comes to girl friends and friends in general, i'm a bit weary on embracing the new. I make no efforts. Sometimes out of being polite and not wanting to be seen as a snub sends me to the hangouts i really want no part of. Friends of friends that i'm better off not knowing.
Recently i had a misunderstanding with a close friend because her friends cooked up a story with the words i uttered. Basically, i put water in a pot and went to sleep, and they put the pot on the fire, added ingredients and made a nice pot of porridge with this issue.
I have been living my life for the past couple of months oblivious to the fact that this non issue has gone from ear to ear, into court rooms of girl gossip and have been judged by people i do not even know. I had no idea they said all this things, until recently when i got to have a taste of the meal they cooked with my words and i was stunned.
So haters really do exist? I thought every body liked me :p...

Do not pass along false reports. Do not cooperate with evil people by telling lies on the witness stand. (Exodus 23:1)

I refused to get too upset about these girls because somewhere at the back of my mind, i knew what the root of the problem was. I don't have as much as they do, but somewhere within those pretty girls lies insecure souls thirsty for the blood of a girl they can never be. I don't hold a grudge, i'll see them and attempt to air kiss them(if they let me) I'm too big to deal with pettiness any more. Besides what better way to deal with your haters than ignoring their hate? "if your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat;
if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head,
and the Lord will reward you. Proverbs 25:21-22

I found this poem years ago and i love how it sums all this up...

I hear that since you left me, things go from bad to worse
That the good lord quite rightly has set a signal curse
On you, your house and lover.
(I hear moreover she proves twice as screwed-up and saddened dear as me)
They say your days are tasteless, flattened, disjointed thinned across the waste by my absence,

Loves' skeleton has grinned.
Perfect. I trust my sources of information are sound?
Or is it just some worthless rumor
I’ve been spreading around?

There's an Irish Saying that goes like this “Who gossips with you will gossip of you” Brings back memories of when i would seat with this chic and all she'd do was gossip and insult people, it was always fun to hear the stories, but i was always afraid of leaving, so i would end up seating there for longer than i should, because i knew without a shadow of a doubt i was the next target, i just couldn't imagine what she'd be saying about me next.

What you don’t see with your eyes, don’t witness with your mouth.
~Jewish Proverb

Man, I feel like a woman

2011-11-28T09:08:00.007+01:00

Miss Sahhara

I found this video and knew i had to share it here.
It's about Miss Sahara, UK based Nigerian model/singer/songwriter. A beautiful woman you would say.
I went to school with 'Miss' Sahara, although i never knew her personally, but then almost everyone knew who she was. I saw her around campus and listened to all the gossip and judgment passed on her for being the person that she chose to be. (I've got to admit i wasn't only a listener sometimes, i was among those who talked about her with my nose turned up) She would be at the forefront of beauty pageants on campus, teaching the girls to catwalk and stuff. She was a typical girly girl, a little too girly in an obvious way, that she was a prey to hurtful words and judgment.

After going through a lot of prejudice and insults i stopped seeing her on campus... Didn't hear about her for a while and suddenly pictures of her surfaced online, totally transformed. She damned tradition, refused to conform and chose to be who she wanted to be without being judged... of course she had to relocate to London to live our her dream, to free her inhibition without getting stoned and dissed by the (daily fading) traditional way of life in Nigeria.
She was once a man mocked for being girly and queer, but today he's transformed in every physical way and has become a woman.

He's now her. source:http://www.sahhara.co.uk

There have been insults thrown at her/him... filthy names and all which i don't think is right.
I still can't understand the need to go through a sex change, not just wearing girls clothes or being a tom boy, but going the whole nine yards, surgically transforming your body to be the sex you want to be. I thought about it, and it hit me that no surgery as good as it makes a man look can make him totally and wholesomely the woman he wants to be. God cannot be mocked. As long as he has no set of ovaries or a uterus planted in him, and has no ability to go through the monthly period, or carry a baby in him, a man is really still a man, who happens to make good physical impressions of womanhood.

Chaz Bono as a ma after her Sex change

I look at Chaz Bono going through her transformation to be the Man she wants to be and my soul searches for a reason for that. I hear stories about how tormented they are, and how trapped they feel in their bodies, and how free they feel when they transform to the opposite sex. I'll still say it again... i still can't understand. Thank God I've never had to be in the place they find themselves, a place of struggle and uncertainty. That's something to be thankful for. I would never know or understand how they feel, but it must be terrible to go through such drastic transformation and having to deal with judgment from people.

Does it mean God is a mean God? Letting them go through the emotions they go through and the changes? Why didn't he just let them come into the world as the sex they think they should be? Why would he punish them so if he loves us so? Of course i know it doesn't mean that, but sometimes we look for answers by asking all the wrong questions.
What do we say of transsexuals who go through surgery and all, only to later regret their decisions and try to have corrective surgery to reverse their decisions? One of such stories here.

Truth is, from reading such stories of reversion, i come to understand again, that no one is truly satisfied with the thing he pursues for peace when he eventually gets it. There's a peace like no other that nipping, cutting, reshaping, being different from the acceptable norms and all can never give. You change, become who you want to be, but your heart is still searching, free but not really free.

Things we never have the answers to.
I just pray many who find themselves with such internal turmoil and self identity crisis are able to recognize the one who knows all, who corrects all and who gives peace. I don't have an opinion, i just seat on a two way path labeled 'right and wrong'. I choose the path i see as rightness, not because i am wise, but because my bible says certain things, and i happen to be among those who are foolishly 'blinded' by the book. But then what does it matter, i don't understand some things, and so i refuse to be judged for my opinion.

I guess why i brought the topic of Clifford/Miss Sahara up here is because i feel a sting or two when i hear the words thrown at him where ever his picture is put up. I'm not in support of the choices he's made, but what happened to love? What happened to compassion? What happened to not casting stones? As we go about making vile words up for people in Miss Saharas shoes and gays/lesbians and beating them up, lets remember that as unnatural and sinful as we perceive their choices to be (because the bible clearly speaks against homosexuality; ("...Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved. Since they thought it foolish to acknowledge God, he abandoned them to their foolish thinking and let them do things that should never be done." Romans 1:26-28), we pass judgment on ourselves as we judge them for their choices, because as long as we keep lying, sleeping around, gossiping, cheating, hating, backbiting... we are no different.(...full of every kind of wickedness, sin, greed, hate, envy, murder, quarreling, deception, malicious behavior, and gossip. They are backstabbers, haters of God, insolent, proud, and boastful. They invent new ways of sinning, and they disobey their parents.They refuse to understand, break their promises, are heartless, and have no mercy. Romans 1:29-31)

Lets stop being selective when it comes to using the bible and Christianity to judge. No sin is bigger than the other, a sin is a sin, wrong is wrong... don't feel too comfortable putting them in a 'different' category, because we're right in that box as long as we live contrary to Gods will as revealed in the bible. We will not be given a lighter punishment for not being gay, for sleeping with only members of the opposite sex.
Fact no one has called you out for moving in with your boyfriend doesn't mean it is right (or gives you the right to be nasty to others) I know it's wrong, but I've never called you a ho.... Like someone said on Twitter 'Jesus always condemned the sin but never the person! Judge not lest you be judged yourself. Rather restore in love.'

Now i really don't know what I'm rambling on about. Oh well.

Update... The anti-gay law has been passed.

Closest thing to crazy...

2011-11-27T09:22:00.000+01:00

photo credit:http://ranunculusadventure.blogspot.com

I stood with my sister T waiting for the train on one of those crazy cold December days. We were going to the hummingbird bakery to order for a red velvet Christmas cake and then i had to go to Selfridges to pick up this gorgeous bag, not for me but for my other sister. She felt she deserved it, i felt she deserved it, and so i willingly played personal shopper/deliver girl.
I had a nice amount of cash in my bag and i also had her debit card in my wallet. I would be walking through the shops with no cash of my own, going to look at bags and all the other stuff i don't really need but think i do cos the shops have them on display. Have you ever been broke in London? Not just broke and indoors, but broke and going to the shops when thousands of shoppers are shopping and loads of shops are on sale? Some people break down at that thought.
I was in a jolly cheerful mood.

I had a wise crack which wasn't so funny, but worth voicing out, something about how it's easier to avoid mouth odors in winter, because we can see the vapor coming out of the mouth so you know where to dock to when a person speaks.
Before the words could come out, i burst out laughing. Oh my, i laughed so hard, for about ten minutes i was bent over, clutching my belly, and laughing my heart out. I couldn't stop. I was confused, because i knew without a shadow of a doubt that if measured, my joke wasn't worth the intensity of the laugh.
It was getting embarrassing, thankfully, i don't have the snorting kind of laugh :) My sister walked away from me to save her face. I noticed a few stares but i just couldn't stop. I would try to calm myself down to tell my sister the reason for my laughter, share the 'inside joke' but instead of words, more laughter poured out.

It felt goooooooood. But then i got scared when i couldn't stop. Is there really something like a laughing sickness? or have i gone mad? Oh God, i can't be mad, i just can't and the more i tried to think myself through it, the more laughter spilled out, my ribs hurt, my cheeks ached, my eyes got watery as i kept laughing uncontrollable. The train came and i got in still laughing. Thinking back, i can't remember how i stopped.

But i loved that moment. It was like a loosening of knots i didn't know existed in me... And i kind of figured that i really was mad after all. The good sort of mad. I love Alice's response to the Mad hatter when he asked if he was going mad "I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are"
I guess Mad isn't all that bad. Sometimes we're crazy even in the sane things we do, sometimes being crazy gives us the courage to do the things that ought to be done, like fall in love, chase your dreams and trust God amongst other wonderful things.

Life is really worth more than our worries and fears, more than our lacks and heartbreaks. Laughter loosens the knots within, makes us lighter, reminds us that nothing is that serious.
As i wrote this Proverbs 31:25 came to mind "She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future"

Laughter truly is a gift. I'm glad i had that experience. Go through life laughing.
P.S Happy birthday to my sister Talatu. Even though she denies me in my moments of craziness, and sometimes drives me crazy, even though she's gleefully confessed to pinching me and giving me military training as a baby, i Still love her. God bless you real good.


Birthday girl and I. Our very own willy willy reenactment

We look decent enough when we're not scaring people... Laughing with no fear of the future..XoXXo

I'm a lover not a fighter

2011-11-25T00:37:00.003+01:00

~~I'm lover not a fighter~~... sorry i meant I'm a reader not a hoarder.
But It feels like I'm changing in this relationship and i don't want to.
Been in London for the last couple of months and i am ashamed to say i have read just four books. Like 4... It's embarrassing. It's even sometimes a big struggle to read my bible, I've got the bible experience on my ipod and the whole youversion thingy, but i know there's nothing like the good old page flipping book.
Speaking of page flipping, i am very traditional when it comes to books. I want to read them off the pages and not from some screen. So no, i wouldn't be getting the kindle... Yet.

Went to Portobello market the other day and i realized i am this close to being a weirdo... i saw this vintage books and my heart did a triple cartwheel and then some. I wanted all of it, from first edition Hans Andersen's' Fairy tales, Alice in wonderland to Jane Eyre. Twas crazy. I'm going to start a collection, it'd be something to give to my kids :)

These are the four books i managed to read in the last four months...
Can you Stand to Be blessed? by T.D Jakes You know that book that pulls you up when you feel yourself slipping and doubting and asking questions... This is it. Bishop Jakes is one of my favorite ministers. Love his practical way of teaching.
'In Charge' by Myles Monroe... Dr Myles was in my church and his preaching was pulled out from the pages of this book. I'm working on a project and its amazing how my line of thoughts are insync with his on certain subjects. This book wakes you up for real.
'The litigators' by John Grisham... I am a sucker for all things law. I pride myself in going ahead of authors and guessing how things end up, but this was different, i got the whole thing wrong, which was a plus for the book. A legal thriller with a sprinkle of humor. I loved it.
'Room' by Emma Donoghue's . I know I'm a year late in reading this book, that's how bad I've become, but my goodness, i laughed, i cried, and my heart broke some more as i read it. It is a compelling read. You start reading and your mind strays to the Josef Fritzl case, squeezing more emotions out of you and making the book seem so real. Room is written in the voice of adorable five year old Jack. You've just got read it.

I've got all these books in Lagos just seating down waiting for me to read them. I just kept buying before i traveled and never seemed to find time to go through one. Usually i read as i buy or I'd buy more than one at a time so i have one to pounce on as i finish with the other, but things changed and i kept buying and buying. Oh well, I'm slowly but steadily getting my mojo back. This year has got to be my all time lowest in the book reading department. I'll be pouncing on amazon for some new books.

Just a few of the books waiting for me back in Lagos.

I long for Lagos, just to be back with my books... oh, and of course for yellow chilli Jollof rice fiesta/obe din din and my shoes...
After all according to C.S Lewis “Eating and reading are two pleasures that combine admirably.”

PS: Thank you Jesus. Have you said it today? Thanksgiving should be a part of us, not just on the days the Americans eat the turkeys :) Happy Thanksgiving to my American readers.

To tithe or not to tithe...

2011-11-22T18:29:00.000+01:00

With all the arguments and harsh words thrown at pastors when it comes to finances. It is amazing how week after week, the aisles of the churches are still filled up with people, willingly taking their tithes up front to the altar, or dropping the envelopes in baskets passed around. You would think all that would stop with the many 'evils' the church has been accused of in areas of finances.

The rich accomplished man, the barely scraping it together man, the poor student, the office cleaner, the ivy league graduate... there seems to be no duress strong enough to keep the money in the pocket.
On your way to church and on the newsstand is a story glaring at you on how your pastor bought a private jet, and according to the reports, he used your money. He also used your money to build a school even you can't afford to attend, hiking up the fees to make lure you into a rage... but you shrug your shoulder, and smile about the outrage, step into church and give your tithe and offering and any other donation with joy. And people see you do that and call you foolish.

There must be something to this that makes the otherwise enlightened people to still choose to remain foolish. Whatever it is, i don't want to miss out. So if I'm to choose between the wise who refuse to be manipulated to tithe and give offerings in church and the foolish who keep tithing instead of going to the street and filling every poor persons purse with the money. I'll gladly stay on the foolish side. After all, God uses the foolish things of the world to shame the wise.
If my money is helping buy three more jets, then let it buy... who cares? If you're in so much doubt as to the authenticity of the pastors and their expenditures, then biko... you haven't heard that God fights his own battle, let him be the one to judge.

We talk of feeding the poor. Do you know how many programs some of these churches run for the poor? but of course that's not worth blowing up the internet for. Maybe we'd feel their impact more if they stopped all the charity they do for a couple of months, then we'll know how for a fact they're making a difference. I know churches that have built rehabilitation homes for prostitutes, former druggies and street thugs, churches that send people out to teach skills as they teach Jesus, feed stomachs as they feed the word on the streets.
But you really can't solve all the worlds problem, even Jesus said we'll always have the poor among us. So if they take all your money to spend on feeding the poor, it really wouldn't change anything.
The church has to advance the gospel. The great commission of Jesus was to go into the world and make disciples. Isn't it amazing how the countries that brought Christianity to us have been so decayed, you have to dig through to find their christian heritage? Isn't it funny how those they helped shed the light on are now they same taking the light back to them.

Nigerian pastors are having crusades in foreign countries and you see dozens running to give their life to Christ. I have no problem with that. And personally i think having their own planes helps out a lot. We may question some of these pastors but as Paul said "
It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. The latter do so out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains.
But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.Yes, and I will continue to rejoice. Philippians 1"15-18

So some may wonder why we still remain foolish giving our money to the church... I'm sure Malachi 3:10 has been over flogged, so i wouldn't quote it. Those who give have seen the blessings, that's why the keep ignoring you in your wisdom and continue filling the church baskets.

What to wear?

2011-11-19T19:48:00.000+01:00

I was going to go shopping today. I needed a blouse and a pair of boots to wear with a skirt to church.
But the day went like it does and the closest i came to being outside was looking out through the kitchen window. I was kind of disappointed, feeling like i had nothing reasonable to wear on Sunday
and so i got to my room to put out anything that would pass. I brought out outfit after outfit and I realized that i actually had a variety of very nice, weather and church appropriate things to select from. I really did not need to go shopping to get a Sunday outfit.

Sometimes we go out looking for answers when what we really need is in us.
Sometimes we don't have to look too far to see what we've always been looking for.
Take your time, look deep within, and you'll find the answers.

***Speaking of wearing our sunday best... Some people actually frown at dressing up to church. Personally, I never feel comfortable when i wear a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and i would never wear flip-flops for a Sunday service.
This doesn't mean fashion comes before church, but there's got to be a reason why we have to look decent, and nice and pretty on Sundays if we can afford to... I mean if i am going to meet with my king then i have no choice but to wear the best i have. If my best happens to be that one pair of shoes i wear every sunday, fine. If i can afford to change outfits, then better.
We wear the best to look the best for parties or social gathering with people of worth. We definitely wouldn't be wearing shorts or flip flops on a formal visit to the queen. We would dress in our best suits et co. So why not to church? Afterall we're going to meet with a king too, a greater one at that. Sunday feels like some official royal function and i have to look my best.
It only becomes a problem when all you're doing in seeking attention and trying to bait chics and dudes. Or when the church looks down on people who don't dress as nice as others. Or you stay at home, because you don't have anything new to wear to church, because A and B has seen you twice with the only outfit available to wear.

Mirror Mirror all around...

2011-11-14T02:59:00.000+01:00

I love mirrors, it takes a lot to hold me back from checking myself out whenever i walk pass one... and it takes much more to help me act like i really don't care about checking me out.
Mirrors and i have an understanding, they tell me what i want to hear every other day... that's what friends are for right? Mirrors are my 'yes men', my 'wing girls'... Well that was before i met the magnifying mirror. Life has not been the same since. Those things make you deal with things you'd rather not.

I'm not so impressed that hotels install illuminated magnifying mirrors in their bathrooms, makes sure you don't miss any detail. I was staying at the Hilton in Abuja, my sister and i went up for dinner, and i felt 'badddddddd'. I really did feel like some babe, like i was all that and more. Then i got back to the room and there the mirror was, yes i looked good in the regular mirror, but the spoil sport beside it highlighted my flaws. In the 'flawless makeup' my pores were chocked, my eyeliner could have been better... and you get the picture? It certainly didn't look like a face of the hot girl i was forming to be, more like a hot mess. Those mirrors make me want instant facials even when I'm broke. It's really not easy to hate them. I really don't need some things to be magnified.

photo source:http://thelipstickchronicles.typepad.com

But then i guess it's not all bad when you look in it before stepping out, you immediately begin to clean up and adjust your makeup which is sort of annoying cos it delays you, but then it helps keep you in your 'fine girl' mode.
Let's not forget the dressing room mirrors while we're on the evils of the magnifying haters. Many are afflicted with the dressing room mirror blues... saw someones comment on a forum on her dressing room blues "...I immediately wanted to run out and get lipo and full body plastic surgery! Who was that person in the mirror? Do I really look that way? Argghhhhh!"
In other mirrors we see our best assets, but in the dressing room, we see something else. Are those mirrors for real or do we look to others the way we see ourselves in the dressing room/magnifying mirrors?

Fact is as much as i hate the magnifying mirrors especially the illuminated ones and some of those dressing room mirrors around... i really do need them. The experts would warn to toss the magnifying mirror and let your esthetician be the one holding mirrors over you because if you don't, more often than not you end up going crazy at all the flaws you see and mess your skin up with the tweezers and everything you can use to pinch on it when you try to handle your pores yourself/play spa at home... i sort of agree with that, but whatever it be we still need to look in those mirrors whenever we come across them.

In life, we feel like we're good people, we feel like we're alright, doing the right stuff et co, but we need those magnifying mirrors in our hand bags and in our bathrooms... We need them to search our hearts regularly, because as much as we are all that and more, with noses buried in our religious attitudes, we really aren't as great as we are, this comment just kills it for me as a christian "I immediately wanted to run out and get lipo and full body plastic surgery! Who was that person in the mirror? Do I really look that way?"
We should look in that dressing room/magnifying Mirror that we hate so much, to see all the wrong that is there, all the things that need changing/correction. We should want to rush out and have some nip tucks in our hearts to make our spiritual selves better. To get back in the drawing room, adjust our makeup and loose some flesh in the right places to serve God better.
Paul warns "So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall!"1 Corinthians 10:12(NIV)

The dermatologists advices to toss the magnifying mirror, and let the esthetician do their job when you get to the spa. I'll use that advice in this context... Sometimes when we look in that mirror, we want to use the tweezers et co to pinch and break blackheads that somehow eluded our ex buddy, the regular mirrors. Rather than doing that and messing up our skin, it's best to run to the spa. In this case, call on the holy spirit to give us a facial, let him be our esthetician, to help change us, make us better and keep our spiritual skin glowing. Because we really can't sort our flaws ourselves, no man can change except with his help. We just end up being a hot mess, right back at where we started if we try to be better people on our own accord. Only the spirit can get us to be that person and at that place we ought to be in our walk with God.

Holiness takes a lot, those little things we take for granted end up forming clogged pores in our spiritual life and births blackheads on our beautiful faces, so that as much as we look pretty from afar, we're not that great close up and God is far from pleased with us. Lets try to do a check as often as we can. Our beauty is worth nothing if we don't make efforts to maintain it.

When Love covers the hurt.

2011-11-10T14:44:00.000+01:00

I was playing with my eight month old niece this morning.
She gets a little rough when it comes to playing sometimes, throwing things around and stuff.
I've receive a couple of slaps and some from her, but today wasn't a good day.
She used the TV remote control to give me a larger than life wack on my mouth. That was more painful than all the scratches and slaps she's thrown at me put together. If it was a cartoon flick, you'd have seen the tiny birds flying over my head.

I screamed at her and was ready to give her a... smack, pinch, bite?... But I haven't mustered the courage to smack the precious one just yet.
Anyways I was mad, but then I looked at her face and she gave me that lovely smile. I kid not, Mimi has got the prettiest smile I've ever seen. She had no idea what she had done.
Just looking at her at that moment took the painful sting away, and I hugged her and rained kisses on her face.

At that moment I realized how Gods grace is something we can never comprehend.
How many times have we drawn from that fountain of grace without even realizing?
Sometimes we hit him so hard by doing things we do and some of the things of we say.
Most times we're so unaware of what we've done, how wrong we are, and so we never tell him how sorry we are. We are not bothered.
But he loves us so much, that his anger/disappointment/piss off is overshadowed by his love when he looks at us,and sees us smile...
Smiling In form of a little prayer of 'thank you Jesus', or a song.... Or simply just smiling.
Thank God for the fountain of grace made available to us.

That's why we sing...
The steadfast love of the lord never ceaseth/ his mercies never come to an end/ They are new every morning/ new every morning/ Great is thy faithfulness O Lord/ Great is thy faithfulness.
------------------

When the Aliens take a Break...

2011-11-10T01:23:00.002+01:00

http://www.motifake.com/

Lets say alien's choose to invade earth for their annual retreat or whatever it is they call their holidays. They're tired of Mars, Venus and the other planets and earth is the next option.
As a result, smart phones have been destroyed by whatever energy they bring down to earth. The internet goes off, and cable TV as you know it is destroyed. Back to the days of one channel... NTA.
iPads end up being just tablets in your hand with boring games that escaped the global connection meltdown. Everyone is forced to use the good old Nokai 3310/Motorola razor type of phones or wait a minute... that too is flatlined, there would be no texting. It's either you've got a landline or an 090 cell phone...
What is a person to do when aliens sunbath on earth and change life as we know it for a week or two? Here's a few fun'ish' things you could do...

You could talk to your friends face to face for once... have them spray showers of spittle on you while they talk(isn't that the joy of human interaction?). In doing that you would find out you're not so funny, because the more you speak the less they 'lol' or 'lmao' at you. It breaks your heart, because you really thought you were funny the way they responded to your every mail or IM with laughters. So the truth is they lied... no one actually 'rolls on the floor laughing their head off' when you say 'hi' to them. Infact they always use the *rolling eyes* emotions or an X_x when you update your status or chat with them.

You could have a genuine crush. You'll be free of the bondage of having too many crushes and being infatuated with a different face everyday.

No more pictures haunting you daily on fb... Pictures photoshopped so good, that even Ini Edo looks like Beyonce. You wouldn't be a victim of the deceit flying around the internet. You'll have time to concentrate on that one crush you saw fetching a pail of water from your neighbors well(because even the taps aren't running).
Just one crush at a time... like we crushed over Michael Jackson and Michael alone at some point in our lifes. We were faithful even in our crushes... Till we found the internet, and facebook. Now blow out pictures of random girls are easy to reach and fill out your bedroom wall.

You'll have a chance to redeem yourself from being a chronic stalker. Suddenly you can't stalk so easily. A persons life is no more just a click away. It's too much trouble and too expensive to follow fifty girls/guys around everyday. This bit makes you want to personally fight off the aliens, how in the world will you know what she/he wore on this day and who's saying 'hi' to them on their wall?
You can take your stalking skills and use it to monitor the milky way, and learn about it rather than just looking it up on the internet. Oh shoot, the internet. No more easy reach to those information that make you sound intelligent. Google is gone for good. The aliens may as well kill you. Now you really have to go to a library and memorize all those things if you ever want to keep your reputation of smart whiz kid in check.

You'll know your true friends, those who would call or go out of their way to find you just to say hi... With pinging and emails and all, everyone can be best friends. Because there's really nothing to it when all you have to do is bring out your phone when you're bored and randomly pick a person to chat with.

Your appeal will be tripled. The air of mystery around you would be so endearing... you may even have more people loving you, because no one gets to hear/know what is on your mind even when they don't have to because there you are updating your status every other minute. Suddenly you;re a mystery everyone is trying to crack.
Pre-Alien vacation days, you could just see Angelica slapping the maid and kicking the dog, and all you had to do to avoid getting a piece of all that karate was check your phone to see her status and know what's wrong with her. 'i chop beans today' (and we all know when Angelica 'chops' beans, the evil spirit in her comes out to play) Post-Alien vacation you go analyze tire. No status updates to help you. But at least in analyzing, you get to exercise your brain.

You'll be able to eat and savor your meal like you should. There would be no taking pictures of the plate after ever bite. Table manners will be embraced again as you find the inner gentleman/lady in you.

You'll be humble and richer. No need for showing off, and life would be easier in those three weeks... no unhealthy competitions to deal with. Because well, you really only wanted that dress so you could take a picture and post it online for everyone to see you have it too, just like Odinaka did.

You'll be able to pray without distractions.

Me? I'd be more than happy to curl up on a sofa and read book after book, without having to reply mails, or take pictures of myself pouting inbetween page one and ten, or stop to stalk one or two people on facebook or see if there's a rerun of something on TV.

That's all folks. Have fun with the internet and all the technology available while you can... You never know when those aliens might need that retreat. :)

That man...

2011-11-07T20:38:00.000+01:00

Today the judgment will be passed… I love how the media is eating this case up. There’s a live show straight from the court room, giving us an opportunity to watch the gentle, handsome troublemaker get served a nice warm plate of justice. I’m sort of disappointed with the way its playing out, the one who’s mouth has been running for the past three years isn’t even defending himself, there’s no lawyer by his side, and I can’t sight any of his family or friends in the court room. He’s just standing there and staring as the case against him is read out. The articulate one is mute. The once regally dressed man looks so small in the presence of these people without his clean-cut blazer… yet he looks so big even in his smallness. There’s something unnerving about him even in that room. Maybe I was too ambitious getting out the popcorn to watch this… I expected another ojay trial or something.

If you’ve been watching TV in the past three years you’ll be familiar with this man. He managed to get under our skin and not get lynched for so long. You know the ‘makes me want to pull out my hair' kind of annoying guy. Another one of the religious ones. The self professed prophet.

Blasphemy… all over the Internet, on the radio, in the books and the papers, he was there saying all these things. Claiming to be the Son of God, like seriously? He really expected us to believe like we weren’t in the 21^st century, smarter and wiser than ever… Yeah, so he performs the miracles, but that’s not new, we’ve got pastors and prophets who can heal too.

He says he’s the one the books speak about, the savior (yeah my thoughts exactly). You should have seen him on CNN last week, calmly saying crazy stuff. I wondered how even he really believed what he said. Daring to dispute the laws God gave us, bringing on his own philosophies on right living and God’s kingdom. Although I’ve got to admit, I’m impressed with his soft-spoken nature, not like those pastors that scream from the pulpit. There’s something about him that can’t be ignored even if you try too. That’s why the papers shoved him in our face every day, heated debates in the media on if he is or not. I guess we somehow managed to give him the publicity he needed without meaning for it to happen.

Rumor has it that he’s quite nice too… always giving stuff to the needy that go to him. He was one of the main sponsors of the most talked about wedding three years ago. I almost got tempted to attend the last crusade he organized. Who knows, I may have been able to score some money from him. The least I could get for going through the whirlwind he imposed on our life as we love it.

A good thing that most of the genuine pastors, the true men of God around have denounced him. There were times I wanted to cut him some slack, I told myself maybe there was a little truth to his claim, but then I looked at the people he moved around with and I gave up on him. A politician held a party in his honor, I wouldn’t name names, I’m sure you must have read about it. One of the dirtiest men in politics in our time, and this ‘prophet’ readily dined with such a vile and corrupt lot. I even heard, one of the notorious heads of the organized crime world had meetings with him late at night. And there’s the controversial lady, the ‘sex siren’ of Hollywood, she’s in his entourage too. She claims he saved her…but we know better. How stupid dos he and his followers think we are? Or maybe we really are? The edo jazz he got (I hear its actually Illuminati, some deal with the devil) actually worked on a few people. There are a good number of previously respectable elders following him like hungry dogs around the country.

I was only so glad when I heard the few true men of God had come together to do something about him, to stop him before he gets out of control. The arrest was a victory for the real soldiers of God; he somehow managed to elude arrest since he started with this madness, that jazz .

I’m watching the proceeding; my popcorn has a bland taste in my mouth. My humanity has managed to creep out. Something feels wrong about this, I feel bad. I can’t point a finger to what it is that troubles me; after all I wanted him silenced for so long. I feel bile rise up to my mouth as the sentence is given; it is what we have always wanted from the first day we began to hear his claims. But then it doesn’t feel right, watching it live in the comfort of my living room. i expected a gag order, a lock up... not the punishment reserved for hardened criminals... Crucifixion? Right now, I don’t feel like we have defended Gods kingdom on earth from the false prophet.

What if we made a mistake? What if he really is from God? I mean, what if? I can’t understand where this doubt comes from, I can’t understand why my heart feels like it has been broken. I watch as he is lead to where he is to be executed, a slow and painful death… Would a person take a lie to this length? How far would he go to protect a lie? And what will be his purpose? … It's hit me, I know the truth.

As the nail pierces his hand, as his scream jumps into my living room from where I watch, as the voice of the guards and the crowd taunt him, as the camera flicks pass his mother and one of the men he often appeared on tv with… as all this happens, my mind flashes back to the prophesies we’ve heard over and over again. "But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed."Isaiah 53:5

'He was oppressed and He was afflicted, Yet He did not open His mouth; like a lamb that is led to slaughter, and like a sheep that is silent before its shearers, so He did not open His mouth.' Isaiah 52:7

'Because He poured out Himself to death, And was numbered with the transgressors; Yet He Himself bore the sin of many, And interceded for the transgressors.' Isaiah 53:12

'I gave My back to those who strike Me, and My cheeks to those who pluck out the beard; I did not cover My face from humiliation and spitting.' Isaiah 50:6

He really was, my heart feels like a load of steel has been placed on it, I grieve in sorrow at my ignorance, I weep for the pain he is going through. Alas, he really was. I believe, but am I too late? All he did, the little things creep into my mind... how could we have been so blinded by our arrogance and hardened in our heart that we refused to listen when we heard what he said. I'm still in shock when the electricity goes out, i look out of the window and there's complete darkness... I'm panicked at this occurrence and i remember another one of the prophesies ["And it will come about in that day," declares the Lord God, "That I shall make the sun go down at noon And make the earth dark in broad daylight."] Amos 8:9

Alas, he is.
(Matthew, Mark, Luke, John)

*****
What would be our reaction if Jesus were to walk the earth today? With the social media hungry to crucify people for as little as speaking about yourself, I can imagine how words would be thrown his way. I think he'd have it worse than he did in those days. I mean they didn't have the internet or technology like we do, so we haven't heard half the insults from people who spoke in their homes at dinner time... well today everyone would be online commenting.

Some might think they would treat him better, they would believe if he lived in our time, but you never know. I'm glad i wasn't alive then. In a world where we've been taught to distrust, cautious can't even begin to describe how i'd feel when i hear him talk, even if i get the thug of knowing he speaks the truth, because honestly? Sometimes i read the books of Mattwew, Mark,Luke and John and i'm amazed at how he spoke. There's just something about it that'd have pricked me when i turn on the Tv and see an ordinary man, a son of a carpenter from 'Agege' say all this things in a way that i did view as arrogant "i am the bread of life.... no one can come to the father except through me...." and many more of those statements. The disciples and those who followed then were definitely high on some spirits to believe...

Thank God for this grace, for creating me in a time when it'd be easy for me to believe. I know many of us must have cursed the Pharisees and all those who were part of the physical suffering Jesus went through.
I mean who would watch the passion of the cross without feeling like yanking heads and giving slaps? But think about it... Have you believed now? What’s your reaction to the preachers who tell you the word as it is? Have you gone about doing the things Jesus spoke against?
For the same way the jews treated him then, we treat him now. For every message of salvation we reject, for everytime we go against his love, for every time we fail to love... we spit on him, we send the nail deeper, we break his heart and we tell him he wasted his time, we still don't believe.
So yes, watch the passion of the Christ again... see the wounds, see the bruises, see the spilled blood but don't curse at those who did it, we might as well curse ourselves, for we bring those moments to life, mocking him continuously as we ignore his call.

Uggs....

2011-11-03T16:45:00.001+01:00

I remember when Uggs sheepskin boots became popular, E was all about showing celebrities wearing them... I was at a loss why anyone would want to wear them, they looked so ugly and they cost so much. I just couldn't imagine why anyone would spend so much on something so hideous, be it sheep skin or not.

Photo credit: http://www.australiauggblog.com

But then i changed my mind when i knew what was really up with that ugly piece of beauty. Truth is you'll never understand why anyone would own a pair or two of ugly Uggs (especially when you live in a place with tropic climates i.e Nigeria.) until you cautiously put one foot in and then the other on cold cold winter, fall and even spring days. The way it embraces your feet, the softness of its inside and the warmth it sends all over, you almost want to find the sheep used and give it a kiss for it's precious sacrifice for your comfort. And added to that walking in it is just so comfy... bye bye swollen ankles and frozen feet.
A cozy pair of treasure. It's literally the answer... to whatever questions you have on a cold day.(whatever that means)

A male friend of mine still can't understand why ladies wear Uggs, he says they're so ugly and unflattering. Why would we not care about that? I tried to explain, but truth is, you can only feel the beauty of what it does, explaining would do no good. You wear it to be comfortable on care free days and other days in between, it's not about the fashion, it's about it's purpose... Some ladies still wouldn't be caught dead in the 'hideously' Uggs, because anyone with a sense of style wouldn't dare... but what do they know?

Salvation looks ugly from the outside. Sometimes you see born again Christians and you wonder how on earth they choose to live the life they do. Why would they give up so much for it? Truth is salvation comes with a price, it's expensive to some... it'll cost you your popularity, it'll cost you your cool factor in the world, it'll cost you your idea of what your Mr right should be... sometimes it'll cost you your family and your job and your lucrative means of making mad money. Why would anyone spend so much on something that looks so unattractive to those who are clueless?

Why wear those Uggs when you've got a wide variety of beautiful fashionable leather boots? Like with Uggs, you will never know how special salvation is until you get into it. There's no proper way to explain the feeling you get when you cross over to the other side. The way it warms you up, the joy and peace that fills you even with the chaos all around you. It makes you feel cozy and just takes you over in this cold cold world, you'd never want to live without it... you want to wear it with every outfit... its amazing. And then you think of the one who was sacrificed for you to have all that, like the sheep used for your Uggs, and all you want to do is hug him and kiss him with the songs in your heart.

Salvation is comfort, you wear the garment of righteousness to be comfortable and carefree in your everyday life and everything in-between.

It may look ugly to some, without the glitz and glam of the worlds idea of the Cool factor, but the purpose it serves is the most beautiful thing you can ever experience. It can't be described, it can only be felt... you should try it.

Random blabs...

2011-10-31T21:31:00.001+01:00

Procrastination is such a bad bad bad boy. I've left things to linger longer than they should have. I am ashamed of myself. Sometimes i feel like Scarlet from gone with the wind pushing things to tomorrow and then tomorrow... "I can't think about this now. I'll go crazy if I do. I'll think about it tomorrow."
I'll begin to make good use of my time and by Gods grace complete my project before the year runs out. I'll start for real tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day.

photo credit:http://www.cafepress.com

I know some men call their wives 'mummy' and some wives call their husbands 'daddy'. When it comes to terms of endearment, to each his own. I have no qualms with that. But the day my Husband decides to call me 'mummy' instead of whatever it is that sounds nice and sweet... that's the day we go to the hospital for a DNA test, to show him that i am in no way an Egyptian mummy, and i am not his mother and neither is he my father.

It's Halloween today and the lights are turned off, to ward off the candy eating monsters. My niece was amost tempted to hand out baba blue and vicks lemon sweets last year when they came calling.(who has sen the baba blue commercials? google vicks baba blue, you'll love it) Why anyone would celebrate this day i wonder... but then i guess some don't know what it signifies, its just a fun day to dress in costumes and feel like something you're not. Was at the excel center a few nights ago and i saw people dressed in the scariest costumes ever... there was something beyond the fun of dressing up in scary outfits in their looks, it freaked me out.

I never was overly impressed with the beats by dre headphone. I mean i've thought about giving diddy beats a try as they're smaller and stuff. So one day i decided to use my brothers beats. Goodness, those things make you feel like you're in another realm. I played some worship songs and i got lost. I'm definitely getting myself a beats piece. The perfect companion for the tube. And no, i wouldn't be using it as a neck accessory, it'll serve it's true purpose. (shout out to my naija bros and sisters who post pix after pix of their beats headphones around their neck. una well done o)

It's amazing how advanced, educated and posh we seem to be, but when the sun goes down and we all seat in our houses we're all striped down and just as ancient as our ancestors were. People still discriminate against tribes. A friend from Calabar wouldn't date a rich, fine, sweet Akwa Ibom boy she liked... because apparently the Akwa Ibom people were the slaves back in the day or something like that. I have a dozen other examples... the igbos and their intolerance for Osu people etc. I've seen people loose their joy just because of the tribe factor. Oh well, to each his own. I'm not innocent either, sometimes i get primitive especially when it comes to accents, and I think it's really lame.

I'm not a fan of the Kardarshians. Truth is, i didn't know who they were till i think last year? but two of my three sisters wouldn't mind setting reminders to watch them on E. And so it is that i got to watch the fairytale wedding. I saw almost everything wrong, and i was sure it wouldn't last. They were just so different, he seemed like such a traditionalist and she's all things not conventional and bla bla bla ... Somewhere deep inside i hoped i was wrong, i really wanted it to be something that would prove everyone wrong. Oh well....
Marriage goes beyond the planning and how spectacular and magical the day would be. It goes beyond wearing three different dresses just because you can. It goes beyond the ring and how much it cost. It's unfortunate that in today's world, away from Hollywood and right in our backyards, marriage has been summed up as these superficial things and devalued by the day. Nothing more than the display of the day itself. No ones thinking ahead, to a moment where there's no dress fitting to go to, and no meeting with the wedding planner, no cake tasting... God will help us sha.

Thanks to didi, honeydame and Martha for the versatile blog award... I'm too lazy to participate. But i do appreciate it :)
And a shout out to all my followers... God bless you plenty.

Despicable him...

2011-10-27T01:54:00.001+01:00

Today I rejoice… indeed I am like a cat with nine lives. I have tasted and seen that the Lord is good. He has saved me from my enemies, delivered me from all evil. I was just a little shepherd boy. But look at me today, King of the greatest nation, loved by the mighty God, honored by both the mighty and the little. Who would have thought? And today I lead the procession in honoring my God, we bring back his dwelling place, his presence into our city… How blessed are we that he's chosen to dwell among us despite our rebellion against him? We offer our sacrifices to him... in burnt offering, singing and dancing.
Oh when I think of the goodness of God and what he has done for me, my soul cries Hallelujah.

I am unable to contain myself, today I cast my crown for the King of all kings, I lay aside my royalty for the one who ordains kings, he lifts the lowly on high, he puts one down and lifts up another. Today in his presence I am nothing… just a mere boy… "accept our sacrifices great and mighty King"

Look at me, he's been my protector, with my bare hands I killed lions and bears as they came to attack my sheep, with a sling and a stone I brought down the uncircumcised Philistine giant Goliath… I will jump and shout with joy at his goodness. What joy fills my soul… he protected me in the mountains when I was on the run from those who wanted me dead… I was a fugitive for so long and yet he kept me and brought me to the throne.
Watch me dance before my God and my king… See me drop my dignity in worship… I will dance to the king of glory.

I am King David. O listen to my song…. “I will Bless the Lord, O my soul, And forget not all His benefits: Who forgives all my iniquities, Who heals all my diseases. Who redeems my life from destruction, Who crowns me with loving kindness and tender mercies, Who satisfies my mouth with good things, So that my youth is renewed like the eagle’s… The Lord is merciful and gracious, Slow to anger, and abounding in mercy. He will not always strive with us, Nor will He keep His anger forever. He has not dealt with me according to my sins, Nor punished me according to my iniquities For as the heavens are high above the earth, So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him; As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed my transgressions from me. As a father pities his children, So the Lord pities those who fear Him. For He knows my frame; He remembers that i am dust…. But the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting On those who fear Him, And His righteousness to children’s children, To such as keep His covenant, And to those who remember His commandments to do them. The Lord has established His throne in heaven, And His kingdom rules over all. Bless the Lord, you His angels, Who excel in strength, who do His word, Heeding the voice of His word. Bless the Lord, all you His hosts, You ministers of His, who do His pleasure. Bless the Lord, all His works, In all places of His dominion. Bless the Lord, O my soul!” slightly edited excerpts from psalm 103

Watch me do the Dougie… see me do the chicken dance, wait a minute, I've got the one head stand to wow you with. He is God indeed. He anoints my head with oil my cup runs over…. Oh play the music, let us “Praise him with the timbrel and dance: praise him with stringed instruments and organs.”Psalm 150:4

***********************************************************

From a distance I watched this show, this parade of madness. And of course David is in the fore front of it. Dancing like a mad man. He might as well be mad. Did I really expect more from him? You can’t take away the common streak from a man who's lived, wined and dined with sheep’s for most of his growing years and lived in the mountains for so long can you? Not even the title of king can change a commoner from being who he is.

My father was the king. The greatest king of this kingdom before David. I grew up as a princess. And here I am, a queen today, married to a king greater than my father ever was. My life has been one big party from childhood till now.

I have been groomed in every area, the rules of etiquette craved in my head. My speech, my movement, the way I chew, my smile... Everything has been carefully woven into my core being, it’s a cord that is part and parcel of the person I am.

The privileges I had as a princess was second to none. I always got what I wanted, as a matter of fact, It was my love for David that made father get him as a groom for me. Back then he was just some shepherd boy brought to soothe father's regular fevers and hallucinations. Playing the harp in a mysterious, beautiful and captivating way for father. I would seat outside the door listening as he played to calm father down. My bride-price was the foreskin of two hundred Philistines... Who else can boast of that?

Today I stand by the window watching for him. It’s a day of celebration for the citizens of the kingdom, but I am ashamed, more like disgusted. It is despicable the way he’s acting. Maybe he didn’t have a royal grooming from childhood, but that doesn’t change the fact that he is a king today. Look at the way he’s dancing, it shames me. He’s a king for goodness sake; he’s going against all royal etiquette I’ve been made to study, this is scandalous.

Daddy was a more regal king, he wouldn’t shame the kingdom so, and my brother Jonathan too... he wouldn’t dare dance like a lunatic in the streets, exposing his inner garment to everyone in sight. I would talk some sense into this rascal made king. If nobody would, I will, who else understands royalty than I do?

My name is Micah, i am a princess like no other. I will not have my royalty stained with the indignity of my husband.

***************************************
This has been a wonderful day. I can feel the presence of the Lord all over. The ark of the covenant is finally in mount Zion, the city of David. It seats in the middle of the tent i had set up for it. All the people joined me in offering burnt and peace offerings.I have blessed them and sent them home.

My spirit is soaring. I am humbled, I am happy, I am grateful... as i go home to bless my household. The wife of my youth is amongst the first to come down to me. It isn't excitement i see in her eyes... I am taken aback by the coldness in hr looks. She spits out the words even before she's standing before me "How wonderfully the king has distinguished himself today-exposing himself to the eyes of the servants' maids like some burlesque street dancer!" I feel a rush of anger at her words. How cold is her heart? Hasn't she been following all that we are celebrating? Doesn't she know the God in whom we honor? has she been so blinded that she fails to recognize the God of Israel?
I take a deep breath, as i find the calm and words to reply her foolishness... "In God's presence I'll dance all I want! He chose me over your father and the rest of our family and made me prince over God's people, over Israel. Oh yes, I'll dance to God's glory - more recklessly even than this. And as far as I'm concerned . . . I'll gladly look like a fool . . . but among these maids you're so worried about, I'll be honored no end."
I see the disappointment in her eyes, but i refuse to be moved or made to apologize for the way i choose to worship. She has lived a sheltered life, she wasn't there when the trials almost overwhelmed me... she's never been in battle as Israel fought for her freedom. I feel sorry for her, she's too sophisticated to understand gratitude that cannot be spoken but expressed in the actions of a man that has been delivered from all sorts. She wouldn't know. He is my God and i am nothing without him.

Michal, Saul's daughter, was barren the rest of her life.
(2 Samuel 6)
**********************************

When it comes to praise and worship, we choose to do it in style according to our status. It's usually the poor and unpopular ones we expect to display traces of 'pentecostal madness', and so we raise eyebrows and turn our nose up when we see the 'big' men and big boys and girls going the crazy way too. We belong to the sophisticated category, it is not expected of us to be so vulgar in church.
If we choose to maintain our dignity in the conventional rhythm claps and feet shuffle, well lets do that and let those who have gratitude that is bigger than their best Sunday dress, fat wallets and fine face go crazy like David.
Michal was barren the rest of her life for speaking up against David's way of honoring God, If we're not fine with it, then lets stay silent. Who knows the curses we incur on ourselves from the smirks and the chuckles we release in disdain at others in their worship.

May we never grow bigger than our praise. For as long as God continues to uplift us, i pray we'll never try to be bigger than he is in us. Just like David a King so great cast away his royal robe and image for the greatest King. Hopefully we'll drop sophistication and all the big titles aside when it comes to praising God, and we would be able to block out the voice of Michal chastising us for been so crass. We don't live to please man but to please God.

Shit Happens... Literally

2011-10-24T00:05:00.003+01:00

Now this is a testimony of some fine chic i know. She's the one with the the 4x4 car, fine girl no pimple, designer bags et co... you get the picture? The type you see and just can't imagine her taking a dump.
Well a dump it is she took, and oh boy, what a dump it was. When you got to go, you got to go, but what happens when you go and you can't go? She stayed in the toilet for a long long time, sweating and frustrated.(This isn't hearsay, she gave me the gist herself:)) But It just wasn't werking. Life didn't seem so good in that febreze refreshed toilet.

She was already getting shivers on the toilet seat when it hit her... Why suffer this horrifying indignity and pain when you have a father who can do all things? So she said a little prayer, more like a cry for help and just like that, everything came out nice and easy. When the going gets tough, just send up a prayer :)
I really wish i could put up a picture of what this fine girl looks like, not to embarrass her but to prove the authenticity of the story. But then i would spoil her market:)

What did i learn from this shit that eventually happened?
Nothing is too small or mundane to take to God in prayer.
You can't be embarrassed about telling him certain things, your weakness, your fears... he knows every inch of us(he's seen us finish). He doesn't need politeness from us, we don't have to be posh with him. We can come as we are and cry about our mouth odor or our 'longer throat' Oliver twist character, it could be about the giant pimple on our nose, feeling insecure and wanting to wear a bigger size of bra or just the fact that our dance steps are toxic to the human race. Whether it's about toilet matters, business matters, or emotional issues... nothing is too small or too big for the king of Glory.
Call upon him in every situation and he'll send help to you, comfort you and give you wisdom on how to go about your issues.

"Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God." Philippians 4:6(kjv)

Wedding Bells...

2011-10-22T21:40:00.001+01:00

And my 'favoritest' man tied the knot today.
Of course i missed it. But i'm sure he understands that i'd leave the queens land back to Lagos just for him if i could.
Am i glad he's hitched? Oh goodness, i am. Hopefully marriage will make him nicer to me. He's too hard on me sometimes, he bullies me and calls me names.
I mean who calls a nice little girl like me 'Mbeke'... and he still wouldn't let me know what it means.
Today, after years of courtship and acting like a lost puppy in the presence of his sweetheart, he finally can bark at the world and walk the walk of a man. He's married after-all.

He's helped me grow in my faith. He's been a source of encouragement to me, and even though we've had our moments... it doesn't make me love him less. I'll take his bullying any day to not being able to hola at him when i'm down and out asking for a prayer and a word.
I'm so happy he's found someone so special, someone so wonderful... he's found a good thing. And i can't wait for the favor coming his way from this good thing. For the word says "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord." Proverbs 18:18

Here's to Obiwon... the happiest man on earth today.
Enjoy your marriage my friend... you deserve it and much more.

Beyond Description...

2011-10-20T11:04:00.000+01:00

There's this joke of a mother who asked her nine-year-old son what he learned in Sunday School that day. He said the teacher told them how God sent Moses behind enemy lines to rescue the Israelites and lead them out of Egypt. When they got to the Red Sea, the army built a pontoon bridge and everyone walked across safely. Then they saw the Egyptians coming, so Moses radioed for reinforcements. Bombers came and blew up the bridge, so the people were saved.

His mother asked, "Is that really what the teacher said?"

"No," he replied, "but if I told it the way the teacher did, you’d never believe it."

Sometimes it’s easier to believe the truth built up with a lie than believe a truth with no rational explanation. But that’s who God is, there is no rationality with him. It is what it is and that’s how he works. Somethings can't be explained and shouldn't be... it makes God smaller than he is when we begin to paint pictures of how he does what he does... Like cancer disappearing, or a blind man suddenly seeing after a word of prayer, or how a barren woman can conceive after the doctors have written her off… how do you explain that?

Don't limit God by putting him in a box and giving him ways to solve your problems, leave your burdens to him and watch the sea part, run through it in thanksgiving when it does and don't spend time analyzing how fast and strong the wind must have been to blow the waters aside, you'll just end up giving yourself an unnecessary burden trying to come up with a rational explanation.

When he comes through for you, he just practically takes your breath away and leaves you standing in awe... like the psalmist says " When the Lord turned again the captivity of Zion, we were like them that dream." psalm 126:1(kjv)

He is an awesome God, no one can comprehend him. He works in ways we cannot see, he's the only wise one. His foolishness is greater than our wisdom. And that's why he is God. This song says a lot, he's an awesome God indeed.

"You are beautiful beyond description,  Too marvelous for words,  Too wonderful for comprehension,  Like nothing ever seen or heard.  Who can grasp your infinite wisdom?  Who can fathom the depth of your love?  You are beautiful beyond description,  Majesty enthroned above..../  And I stand, I stand in awe of you.  I stand, I stand in awe of you.  Holy God, to whom all praise is due,  I stand in awe of you." I stand in awe of you

Pose For The Camera... Click Click

2011-10-18T19:24:00.001+01:00

Pose for my camera *click click*...

I love pictures. I love being in them, and i love taking them. There's so much beauty around and it feels so good to capture them and have a look whenever you want to.
I'm no professional, I am just a girl with a camera. I have taken some good shots in my life time, matter of fact, i took the background picture of this blog.
I'm sure i will be a whole lot of good if i take photography more seriously. I'm posting a few of my shots on here.
When you look, remember i was having fun doing this, not thinking of professionalism. I'm not a big fan of excess photoshop, which is the joy of some Nigerian photgraphers... perfect pictures are damaged by the too obvious airbrush effect. I feel sorry when i look at some wedding pictures, ruined much by an over zealous photographer.
O well, here are a few of my pictures... and criticize with love if you really have to be a critic, biko... I'm not as tough as Linda Ikeji :)

National Theater Surulere... Took this from a moving vehicle on my way home from NYSC camp, had to go in to sign the 'book of life'(i got an exit so i didn't have to be in camp)

Christmas Cow about to be slaughtered, wonder what the eyes were trying to say. I felt so sorry for it and was almost convinced i wouldn't be able to eat the cooked meat... of cos i got hungry and i love my meat.. i love my cow leg more.

Rocky Plateau...Took this on the outskirt of Jos from a moving Vehicle. I've always loved Jos for the weather and the mountains and rocks et co. It's such a beautiful place. So sad at what the ignorance of illiterates has turned it into with all the religious crisis et co.

A view of Dubai Marina... taken from the 5th floor poolside of the Marriot Habor hotel Dubai.

Another view of the Marina. I love Dubai. Have never spent more than four nights there. I plan on doing an extended stay in the near future by God's grace.

Sunset over River Benue... taken from a moving Vehicle.

Another shot of the Sunset over River Benue.

Had this on the blog before. This was in Marina Lagos. I call it 'in with the new, out with the old' The blue sky sort of feels like a new dawn of color coming to take over the drabness of the black and white/old... And the truck represents the moving van taking away the old.

Taken about three years ago at La campaign Tropicana Lagos. Love that Beach resort. My favorite beach in Lagos, Private, secure, neat and all things nice.

My lovely friend. We had lunch in Chicken Republic Abuja and we ended up taking fun pictures. She's such a beauty, she's a crazy lady on the outside and such a sweetheart on the inside.

My favorite muse when it comes to portraits. She is my best friend. We fight a lot cos she loves to be a 'know it all' to me, but then I'm glad i have her in my life. She is me and I love me too much :)

Now this is another shot of this special girl in my life...Me. I love her loads. You will too when you get to know her. X

And that's all folks... well not all, but all i'm sharing with you.
Bless.

Don't 'Jealous' Me.

2011-10-18T00:02:00.000+01:00

Jealousy is a feeling imbibed in most of us... you either let it control and consume you, taking over your life or you become the boss of it, choosing not to accommodate it.
I have friend's who have achieved a lot and sometimes the tug tries to take over but i kill it as i feel the green eyed monster rise within me and i make the calls and send the messages to congratulate, because i know we are on different paths, everyone's future has been tailor made to suite him. I could never be a fashion designer or a beauty queen or a banker or a phd holder. It would never work if her fiance proposed to me instead of her...
When it comes to jealousy you've got to take a stand and believe in yourself, cos that's the only way you can kill it and celebrate others instead of bringing them down or try to 'pour sand in their garri'.

Envy is a symptom of lack of appreciation of our own uniqueness and self worth. Each of us has something to give that no one else has. ~Elizabeth O'Connor

I go to a friends house for the first time, i compliment on something nice about the house.(i don't go sulking because my house is smaller)
You get a new job, I'm excited about your job, and i try to see the good in it encouraging you while you whine about the bad side(i don't gloat that you hate your new fab job)
I really do want to know that you're fine.(i'm not calling to check that your life sucks so i can feel better about mine)
A friend wears a new dress i compliment.(even though i can't afford it)
A friend buys a car, I'm excited...
A friend has a talent, I'm her fan and try my best to be a good customer and promoter...(not going round telling people she ain't no good)
I try my best, but then i know its a cold world.
Its amazing how you get the best compliments from those you expect less from... and those who are 'close' to you just watch you and never say anything. I mean we don't need their words, but then again it hurts. Are we supposed to be friends?
Can't you see I'm doing something great? Aren't you happy for me? Wouldn't you say a prayer for me when I'm going through stuff? Remember me? I was there for you...
I learned not to expect much from people... especially those i call friends.
Jealousy births hate... It's alarming the venom you find when a backbite/gossip is exposed.

"Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value. Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point - that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you. There is only one alternative - self-value. If you cannot love yourself, you will not believe that you are loved. You will always think it's a mistake or luck. Take your eyes off others and turn the scanner within. Find the seeds of your jealousy, clear the old voices and experiences. Put all the energy into building your personal and emotional security. Then you will be the one others envy, and you can remember the pain and reach out to them." ~Jennifer James

And those 'friends' whose every other month call always starts with "when are you getting married?" The call feels like a self evaluation test for them. Because they're scared... It's like there's some competition and their day only gets better with the fact that you're still in the place where they want you to be... single, and you haven't gotten married before them after all. Because they're insecure and scared that they'll end up alone, but it wouldn't be so horrible for them if they don't have you see you happy and married. I'm almost always tempted to say "you didn't get my invite?" Just to hear the reaction. There's the conversation you have with other friends when that question pops up and you know it's just conversation and fun jabs, but with these ones... you just know how wrong it is on many levels.
My life is simple... I really don't get the need of you to see your life as a competition with mine, because in truth, if a poll is taken, many would vote your life as more interesting than mine. But you're too busy consuming jealousy straight from the bottle, and you're just too drunk with it to realize.

The bible says to pray for your enemies, then how much more are we to pray for our friends? Pray for them and tame the jealous beast within you. I pray we all learn to count our blessings rather than counting the blessings of others. You'll be amazed at how blessed you are even without her job, without her man, without her car, without her vacations, without living her life...
It's a cold cold world for a person who's life is a slave to jealousy.

"Jealousy is an outgrowth of not realizing who you are and what you possess. It’s born of fear that someone has a better life than yours, even though the people you envy are not without their own insecurities, pains and unrequited dreams and hopes. Focus on your accomplishments, not your failures. Count your blessings. Celebrate the life you’ve been given" T.D Jakes

I'm gonna marry you...

2011-10-17T13:51:00.000+01:00

You've just got to see this... it's too cute.
One of those videos that perks you up on a very dull and tiring day.

Some boys have suffered sha, the same scene still plays out every day with adults... Some are still going through this phase at age 50. 'Girl means business, guy gets traumatized.'

Hope this video gets played at their wedding...:)

You Think You Know... I Saw Hell

2011-10-11T21:04:00.001+01:00

It's amazing how you figure you know someone so well, when in truth you have no idea... A friend of mine put up a note on facebook. I've known her for a couple of years, we went to same school and all. Years later i started bumping into her in church and was like 'o really?' She's one of those who dances her heart out in church while you're trying to be righteously cool in your dance and same time wondering what the deal is with her... Her passion challenges me to be better. I hope this will touch our hearts and and melt the ice away before it's too late. Be blessed by her story.

This is a true life story, I promised God I would tell the world; I however battled with this truth for years, I am willing to finally fulfill the will of God in my life by allowing the world to hear a real life testimony of my encounter with hell.
I got a job to work in a financial institution during my NYSC service year; and reported to a lady who was my Department head. Working with her was very difficult; she made life hard for me. I almost lost the job to her doing, when God intervened. A team member of the management, developed interest in the case and it was addressed. Following these; we developed cordial relationship.

One faithful day, he invited me to hang out and I obliged, when I got to the venue,i realized it was his guest house; we chatted and what followed was not anticipated. He kissed me and became aggressive when I stopped him. What started as a cool evening became an ugly one. He raped me despite all the pleas, screams, tears and struggle. He apologized and said he didn’t know what came over him.

It didn’t change anything as the deed had being done and the incident could not be erased with a sorry.
This incident left me in shock, I was completely traumatized and it got worse as the days passed by. I couldn’t share this problem with anyone and it was eating me up inside. I guess this goes with the saying “a problem shared is a problem solved”. I was almost going crazy with series of emotions flowing through my head; I sure needed to talk to someone, a psychologist, family, friends, or anyone. I could not though, as I felt ashamed and blamed myself for obliging the invite. I got courage and told my supervisor without revealing the identity of the person.

It didn’t get easier as the psychological pain continued and took a different toll, I went for a checkup and the result indicated I was pregnant. It was indeed unbelievable, this is considering the fact I had being working on my faith that dwindled when I got into the university and began dating. I had broken my oath of not having sex before marriage when I got into the relationship. To renew this vow to God, I had to take drastic decisions like breaking the relationship that had lasted for about 5-6 years and was geared towards marriage. I had become celibate for more than a year. With this also in view, it wasn’t easy taking this report. Here was I having difficulty dealing with the trauma of being raped, and I now had deal with being pregnant for someone I could not even imagine having in my life, someone who had violated me.

I had one option to have the baby, thou I feared what my family and friends would think. I was finished; that’s what I thought. He soon realized the position things had taken and suggested I had a clean break, have an abortion and end the story, have my life back and not have to worry about losing my reputation.(did I mention he was married) yea he was.
I considered the suggestion remembering the curse I had pronounced on myself growing up “The day I tried an abortion that would be the day I die”. It wasn’t easy making a decision at that point; I made one bearing in mind the circumstances at hand.

I went to see a doctor he had recommended and was unconscious as the surgery took place, in the minutes that followed I died, my spirit left my body, as I gazed at my physical body almost identical with my spirit body, I thought it was amazing. I was soon caught up in the air and rejoiced believing I was being assumed in to heaven. In a second my life flashed before me and I was in hell. yea hell; it was unbelievable; the fire fumed and burnt uncontrollably. No this wasn’t happening to me I thought, I had been a good person and only got into this mess due to an unfortunate situation. I saw people crying and pleading for a second chance, the screams were horrible. Some people had being burning for over 100 years, as the fire ravished my whole being I realized that I was in here for eternity.

As everyone pleaded, it was obvious that it was too late. I screamed with all the energy in me, I could not stop screaming despite my exhaustion. I couldn’t believe this was true; once again, I thought it was a nightmare and hoped I would wake up and discover it was all a dream. It sure wasn’t, I was in hell. I saw a wall stretched out in the face of the deep, it was bottomless with cubicles (cell units) enclosed with coverings that looked like web made out of sand by locust. It seemed difficult to comprehend the idea that I was condemned to eternal damnation. I remember seeing a lady who had being burning for over 100 years nonstop, she’d being burning way before I was conceived and delivered into the world. She was tired of the pain but it wouldn’t stop, her flesh would melt like magna from a volcanic eruption and soon form back, it just continued over and over again. This view could also be likened with the red steaming liquid of melted iron in a furnace. This image was unbearable. As I continued to scream and experience anguish and horror that can be best described by the revelations forwarded to John in the book of revelations, I thought about decisions I would have taken differently and realized indeed a living dog is better than a dead lion. I was dead and there was no hope.

Everyone reading this is alive so there is hope, you can change your decisions today while you can, cause in a second it might be too late. If you have no hands, legs, you’re deaf and dumb but you alive, you just got to be grateful you are alive to secure your destiny today. It really doesn’t matter if you are deformed and probably eating stool and drinking stagnant fluid from a gutter. Your being alive is a great testimony, I can tell you that. What will you gain if you gain the entire world’s respect, have all the affluence and wealth one could ever dream of and live at least 120years; at that point, you will beg for death. And woe to you if after living an affluent life for 120yrs on earth, you have to spend a million years in hell, where you never die despite all the pain. Think about this!

I continued to plead for a second chance along with the people who were also condemned to burn in hell for a life time. Their cries met no response from God, as a time will come when you will call upon God and he would not listen, you will knock on the door and it will not be opened. Seek God now while you can find him.
I pleaded for a chance to make it right, I asked God to give me just a second to breathe and declare that he is worthy, then he could take me back. Nothing mattered then, not what people would have thought of me if I had made a different choice of keeping the baby. Soon after I realized how many chances I had all my life, as I answered the following question. How many seconds are in a minute? Ans: 60sec. How many minutes are in an hour? Ans: 60mins; how many hours are in a day? Ans: 24hrs, how many days are in a month, Ans; 31days, how many months are in a year and finally how many years are in my lifetime. After doing the math I discovered the number of chances I had missed. I needed just a second, I was given a good number years to make my ways right, and I had failed. I kept gnashing my teeth and pleading for a chance to tell the world what I had seen. God however reminded me he had sent his son Jesus and the world rejected him, he also revealed heaven and hell in the book of revelations; these was handed over to John for the whole world, and the world still refused to listen.

At this time I couldn’t believe it was over for me like the others who are still pleading and burning right now. I kept promising to tell the world what I had seen and would stop at nothing to reveal the truth to the world. The lord told me this had been revealed to many who had experiences of being taken up to heaven and hell, yet the world refused to believe them, so how did I think people would believe me. I told him I would tell everyone the reality of what I had encountered.
In the next seconds that followed I saw myself descending to earth towards the hospital where my body laid; I woke up suddenly and was filled with fear from the encounter I just had. I left the hospital with so much fear as the memory and reality of hell continued to flash on my mind, I wondered why people took this topic for granted. At that time, I felt the best thing to do was lock myself up and just remain there worshiping God, day and night without distractions as little as eating, sleeping, bathing e.t.c But God wants us to live our lives bearing fruit for the kingdom. He has given us the earth so we can take dominion of everything that creeps on land, air and water.

As the days followed I got a revelation from the scriptures on how to attain righteous living. This I got from the book of (Psalm Ch 119:9-13) “how can a young man keep his way pure? And the answer was also in the same verse “I hide thy word in my heart that I may not sin against you”. I then caught this revelation, I realized all I needed to overcome sin was the word (Jesus), and I also remembered Jesus overcame temptations by responding with the word of God “it is written that…” I then knew for certain that I needed to fill myself up with the word of God. By doing so, I would have the right word for any temptation. My heart will become a storage bank for the word, as it is written “my words will no longer be written on tablet of stones but will be written on their hearts.” The body is indeed the temple of the lord where the word (God) dwells.

After these encounter, I continued to grow in faith, though did not fulfill my promise as I vowed. It’s been about 5 being years since this happened. Decided to publish this now with this scripture in mind “I will go into your house with burnt offerings, I will pay my vows which my lips have uttered and my mouth has spoken when I was in trouble” (Psalm Ch 66:13&14).
I want to say congratulations to anyone who have accepted Jesus as his Lord and personal savior, however it’s not over till you reach the mark “you also be patient, establish your heart for the coming of the lord is at hand” (James Ch 4:8), I will also urge all who are yet to receive him to embrace him and obey this scripture “confess your trespasses to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed” (James Ch 4:16) God healed me totally body mind and soul, He can heal you as well with no regards to your situation. He forgave me as I forgave myself and the perpetrator of this tale.
If you are willing to embrace Jesus as your lord and personal savior please repeat this prayer bearing in mind that if “you believe that there is one God. You do well. Even the demons believe and tremble.”(James Ch 2:19) You need to know him personally;

PRAYER
Lord Jesus! I confess I am sinner, I believe that Jesus Christ of Nazareth died for my sins, please blot out all my transgressions (sins). Cleanse me with the precious blood of Jesus. Write my name in the book of life; come in to my life and take total control. Thank you for your mercy, am born again, old things have passed away.

If you have said this prayer, rejoice because you are born again, yes! you are! That is all it takes, i'm glad you are knocking when the door can be opened and you're seeking when you can find.
If you are still confused or not ready to do this now remember that “ with the lord one day is as a thousand years and a thousand years as one day” it is also good to know that “If the righteous one is scarcely saved, where will the ungodly and the sinner appear” (1 peter ch: 18) . God saved only Noah and Lot’s family amongst the generations of old that faced destruction. He will not lower his standard.
Choose now whom you will serve God or mammon for tomorrow will be too late. “For God so loved the world he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believes in him will have eternal life” (John Ch 3:16).

Cold Cold World...

2011-10-10T23:17:00.001+01:00

It's a cold cold world...
If you've not been given the cold shoulder, then you get the cold stare, if not the cold stare, you find people who take life too seriously you wonder how they live with all that ice inside them...
It's a cold cold world, and so we have to save ourselves by wearing the right clothes, and finding a nice fire place that warms every inch of us, makes our heart steamy, unfreezes the ice on our lips to release our smile... a place where we're not scared of anything because the sound of the fire crackling gives us comfort, and the hot cup of cocoa in our hands is a joy to sip on, melting our insides, releasing every knot in us. If we don't find that place... we just end up catching pneumonia and dying.

photo source:firesfireplacesandstoves.co.uk

I have a couple of fire places.Those places that heal me and warm me up even as the world gets colder....

Like Salvation... It is my greatest source of warmth. Without it, any other fire place is just like a hot water bottle that would eventually turn cold.
Basking in the 'Son'shine. Listening to music, worshiping and spending those quite moments with God. How i love the warmth that flows from my toes, moving all over me. It's special. Because all of a sudden, nothing matters any more. I'm made to remember I'm special. I know all will be well whatever it is I'm going through. I know he has a plan for me, a plan for good and not evil... It's the moments when i just know. And in my knowing, the cold of the world is a million miles away as i find rest in my fireplace.
"Our real self, our true personality, is dead until lit by the fire of God. Then we become what God meant us to be, each one blessed and filled with the same fullness. We are all made to drink the same blessing, and yet each of us represents the whole." REINHARD BONNKE

Like being in church... Unfortunately, the cold in the world has found its way into this building of comfort... but i know just where to sit to bask in the warmth that remains in the church. Whenever i miss Sunday service or fellowship in church for a stretch, i start to feel a little numb, and then theres this excitement when i eventually make it in, there's this warmth over me, like the frost that has been built up from my absence has melted away.
I know we say church is just a building... but trust me, worshiping with others is not something to miss, doesn't matter how many hours of TD Jakes you watch on Sundays or that your TV's always on some christian channel. "...not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big Day approaching.' Hebrews 10:25(the message) There's a lot to gain from going to church/fellowshipping with others.

Like being home with my family... Within those doors, whereever it be as long as there's family. Those moments heal the frostbites i get from the world. From the love we share, to the genuine concern we show, to the stories told... everything that it is. The little things, like the food, the portraits, the familiar sound of moms voice on the phone, a sisters laugh resounding in the house, the aunties around just seating and talking, joking with an uncle, evening time watching the news... now that burns me good.

Like reading... I bury my nose in the books and I'm lost. The world is far away, I'm long gone from it's freeze warrant. I'm closer to the sun/son. I'm warming up and I'm having fun with myself. My mind unfreezing with the new information it takes in. There's everything to love about the right sort of books. It just sends the mind years ahead to an age that the body might never get to feel.
Well, these are a few of my favorite fire places. Where i have received sanity, where the frost from the world has been melted away, where my heart warms up.

Do you have a fire place? How have you protected yourself from the cold in the world? Are you part of those freezing the world? Some have enough cold within them to kill themselves even before the world gets them... Like Christiana Perri sings "you're gonna catch a cold, from the ice inside your soul'. Are you part of what's freezing you? Are you one with a big chunk of ice in your heart?

Do you have that fireplace of salvation that warms and lasts longer than the rest... Or would you rather stay out in the cold cold world, just so stubborn you think you can brave the cold with your new fur coat and leather jackets and an occasional dash to some superficial warm place?... like the old MTV migraine boy ad of back in the day goes "I'd rather catch pneumonia and die" is that your stance? Or are you willing to give that ice in you a melt, see how it works on the other side?
You should try getting some warmth, there's a whole lot of difference and joy when you're warm in a true and sure way. Try Jesus, get warm, It's a cold cold world out there.

Omo Mummy

2011-10-09T00:33:00.000+01:00

I've always been a mummy's girl and i sort of, kind of make no apologies for it. My mum is this wonderful woman and there's is absolutely no shame in wanting to continue as her hand bag even in my old age.
I meet some of her old friends and colleague sometimes and i see their amazement at how much i've grown, they remember me as the little girl who was always there...
In family pictures i made sure i was right next to her, and i would be upset when the photographer moved me to my dads side.
I went for official functions with her, i went to work with her, i traveled round ~~the~~ ~~world~~ Nigeria with her, to hospitals, to the market, to the saloon, to church, to visit friends, to her bosses house, to cocktail parties and state dinners, to pick up her award, her swearing in... I was just always there. Probably the only child to have moved around so much.

My mum and her sister were my two favorite women growing up. I followed my aunt about almost as much as i did with mum, i used to tell myself she was my substitute mum. I was a child in love and sometimes had to make tough choices, like where to spend the night, at hers or at home with mum. Most times we went out together, the gang... You know, we should have given ourselves a name 'the terrific trio'. Because we honestly did make a great team
Saw an old picture and all this feelings came flooding back....

BEFORE: from left: my aunt, me and mummy dressed in the red and black idoma official color

I was about ten in this picture, we were at the airport to welcome the body of the late ochi' idoma(the chief of the idomas, mums tribe) mum was on the burial committee. The terrific trio traveled together for the funeral. Mum would dress me up in asoke... probably why i have a thing for iro and buba. It was a fun time growing up.

"We go together like
rama lama lama
ke ding a de dinga a dong
remembered for ever like
shoo bop shoo wadda wadda yipitty boom de boom'"

Grease- We go together

AFTER: from left: mum, me and aunt heading for an event

Twenty something years later, i still try to keep up as much as i can. Here is another picture of the 'terrific trio'(i'm beginning to like this name), all 'growed up'(like the rugrats would say) and still rocking together.
This picture made me realize how time has flown and how some things have changed, but even in the midst of all the change, some things are still the same.
I've had cold wars with my aunt, but i'm sure she knows as much as i do that we know what we know... whatever it is that we know :)
Sometimes i notice the excitement in mum's eyes (even when she acts like she doesn't care) when I'm home and i dress up to go for a function with her. I'm still her baby.

No matter how old i feel, i'll always be the little girl who wants her mummy, who wants to be a part of the wonderful people these women are. I got to meet wonderful personalities through them, some who liked me beyond the courtesy of the moment and made me their little friend. I learned to be a great host, and i got to see how a woman of substance carries herself and makes herself relevant without trying to hard. Of course, there's class and style i got from them too.
I think i can confidently say, spending time with them has contributed hugely in making me the woman that i am today.

I am an 'omo mummy' and I'm proud...

Special service advice...

2011-10-07T01:17:00.002+01:00

Best take this advice and run with it, you'll thank me later... come closer i need to whisper it in your ears, it's a sacred one "don't ever play a game of soccer with a centipede"
I'm serious about that... here are the facts of the outcome when you do as written by Kenn Nesbitt...

Don't ever ask a centipede
to play a game of soccer.
Remember, he has 50 pairs
of sneakers in his locker.

He dribbles 50 soccer balls
with 50 pairs of shoes,
and kicks them all concurrently.
He doesn't often lose.

He's such a fierce competitor
that, if you ever meet,
at first you'll see his hundred legs
and then you'll see defeat.

My niece's year two class had to learn this poem, the best person was picked out to perform it on assemble in front of the whole school... guess who's bad? My niece got the role... well someone else was almost as good as she was so she shared the stage with her. I had to listen to it over and over again as she memorized it, fell in love with it and now it's stuck in my head thus i decided to be a dear and share it, cos really, it is good advice.
almost as good as the next I'll be sharing.

Don't ever play a game of soccer/temptation with the devil... he has thousand cunning ways up his sleeves to get you falling hard. He kicks, and he kicks hard, not one at a time but concurrently, you get dizzy trying to play the defense.
Thus the good book warns... 'Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.' James 4:7(kjv)
This is the one area where you're permitted to be a coward, there's nothing to be brave about when it comes to beating the devil at his own game.
Know your strengths enough to get you doing a quick spin and running when you see this fierce tempter/competitor coming your way.

You may claim to be strong, but trust me, your strength sometimes isn't half as smart as the devils cunning. '... if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall!' 1 Corinthians 10:12
Many mighty men of God have fallen flat in the face in this game, you can too even if you're a devil binding, tongue speaking, religious addict.
He just knows what to do to get his ball in the court and then he gets you to a place where you feel too tired and ashamed of your defeat you never want to get up again. You're on the floor, watching him score over and over again because you feel you've lost already.
But I'll let you in on something, just maybe you played the game with him, and you lost, after he dribbled you all the way to the score line... don't give up just yet. There's a little rule in the game that his cunning has hidden from you. 'for though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again, but the wicked are brought down by calamity.' Proverb 24:16
That's the rule, you can get up again when and if you fall... remember this and get up, sprint as fast as you can out of the field. That beats him at his own game, makes you a winner even in the face of his own victory.

"Refusing to stay down denies your enemy permission to sabotager your destiny" Steve Whyte

The Apple Crumble.... Steve Jobs

2011-10-06T11:13:00.000+01:00

Once you go mac, you can't go back.... Whenever i have a reason to use some other computer that isn't a mac, i feel like i got thrown back into the stone age, for real. Apple just has a way of making things feel so sleek and sophisticated, it's almost a crime not to jump in the band wagon of owning at least one of their gadgets. How much more thankful can i be for the day when i could drop my discman for an ipod... what would music lovers all over the word have done without it?

It was always fun watching Jobs unveil yet another product. He made it look like it was... well, just an apple, an uncomplicated fun gadget he woke up one morning and decided to present to us to eat. I was reading excerpts from various interviews he granted and it just made me want to be better... to do more.

"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.''
"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice.''
"Stay hungry, stay foolish." COMMENCEMENT SPEECH AT STANFORD UNIVERSITY, 2005

"We don't get a chance to do that many things, and everyone should be really excellent. Because this is our life." INTERVIEW WITH FORTUNE, 2008

"I don't think I've ever worked so hard on something, but working on Macintosh was the neatest experience of my life. Almost everyone who worked on it will say that. None of us wanted to release it at the end. It was as though we knew that once it was out of our hands, it wouldn't be ours anymore. When we finally presented it at the shareholders' meeting, everyone in the auditorium stood up and gave it a 5-minute ovation. What was incredible to me was that I could see the Mac team in the first few rows. It was as though none of us could believe that we'd actually finished it. Everyone started crying.''

"Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn't matter to me. Going to bed at night saying we've done something wonderful, that's what matters to me." .... And that's what should matter. Knowing you've spent the day doing things that will make a difference for others. Knowing you're living your purpose. That's what matters. Hopefully when i die, i would have lived a life poured out...

I watched a documentary on the life of Steve Jobs on CNN a few days ago. It got me loving him more. So sad to hear about his death. 56years was a short life, but he made the most of it.
Hopefully we wouldn't be having more apple crumbles after this sad news... Apple can only get better, iHope. He was a visionary leader and must have taught them well. There's got to be some young innovative Midas touch left over there to continue to give us what we love about Apple. And while we can only hope for that, we know for sure that his legacy still lives on... in my typing this post on my macbook, in the various gadgets we can't do without.
God bless his family.

Steve Jobs, great innovator & visionary, died; now on to meet the Great Innovator & Ultimate Visionary. via @RickMartinezSac
Isn't amazing that as innovative as Job was, and all the other talented people out there are, they don't come even close to what God can do? Not even near close to it. Ha, Great God indeed.

photo source: telegraph.co.uk

Random blackberry blues...

2011-10-04T21:43:00.000+01:00

It's crazy how every other day you have to change your dp to show someone you really are wishing him/her a happy birthday. Seriously though, its not necessary. It doesn't mean i love you less than the last persons picture i put up. I put his/her picture up just because i wanted to. I know you would love me to do a free ad for you with my dp... but sometimes i just want to see my face up and not yours. Don't take it personal. I've got to sell myself too... and it doesn't help your cause if you happen to be born in a month where every other day is a birthday of someone i know. :)

If you don't have confidence in your girlfriends/boyfriends looks, then don't put up his/her picture as your dp. Because you'll end up being overly defensive and loosing your friends. Someone once passed a light comment on a friends dp, apparently it was a new girlfriend who wasn't as 'hot' as the last... he got defensive and it ended in something fierce. oh broda. Trust me the comment had nothing to do with the said girlfriends looks... he just read meanings to it. *shrug*

How is it that people get so excited when it comes to death and posting up R.I.P updates? Its like there's a prize waiting to be handed out to the first person to put up an update on the social networks and dp's. It's so unfair, the body is still warm, family still in shock and some not informed yet, and there you have some over zealous wannabe newscaster putting it all out there. Found out about a friend a few hours after he died via facebook, sent a mail to the person who put it up to be sensitive just incase some of his family who were away were yet to be informed. Well a family member who hadn't been told yet found out. She found out via bbm. She saw her brothers dp up and an R.I.P next to it. She didn't even get the decency of a soft breaking. How insensitive.

Everyone is suddenly an expert in the state of the nation. I hear theories that gets me gasping for air. I get that sometimes the social networks brings out the philosophers in us, but it becomes tiring when its just an endless blab of nonsense aided by owning a blackberry. Some dude with nothing to do, picks up his blackberry and entertains himself with whatever topic he can come up with... unfortunately most times its just a ball of misspelled and badly put together English/hausa/whatever added to the absurdity of what he just said.

A groom ends up seeing his bride before she gets to the church with all the updates and pictures of her getting dressed sent to facebook and twitter and put up as DP's. Some overly excited bridesmaid letting the cat out of the bag, spoiling the element of surprise for the groom. You'll have to be ready to take the blame if he's not impressed with her looks on her wedding day and doesn't show up in church :)
And like seriously why not just enjoy your wedding? Remember the days where it was just absurd to have your phone on you on your wedding day? Now thanks to blackberry, the unwritten law has been broken... the bride and groom are chatting at some point during their wedding ceremony and even taking pictures to put up, and putting up status like 'my wedding is slamming peeps' ermm... okay!

As much as it's refreshing to know you go to church, it's so annoying to see you tweeting on in church. It doesn't matter if you're saying how well the sermon is going. That's outright foolishness. Put your blackberry away for the two hours please. You can tell us all about the preacher, or the pretty girl you sat next to, or the man snoring behind you right after the grace has been said.

And oh the number of bathroom pictures out there... how in the world would we have fed our vanity/self love without camera phones and instant uploads? How in the world would the world know how nice we looked on that day, in that hour? and of course we look nicer when the evidence of our perceived hotness is taken in the bathroom.
I understand when ladies do this, but i'm going to be a sexist here... why in the world would guys take loads of 'bathroom' pictures and keep changing dps every other hour? This one guy on my bbm list gives me the creeps.

How in the world do you actually enjoy what you're doing if you have to write every detail on twitter?... 'oh my gosh i'm having so much fun?''o, the food looks tasty... u shd be here' 'o my, he just winked at me :), 'like seriously these girls are staring at my shoes, i'm giving them the attitude'... how is it fun when your head is always bent on your phone? That's not fun, that's you in a fun place but bored out of your head, you only keep yourself entertained by letting the twitter world imagine how much fun you're having. Like seriously... You're on a date 'awww, he said he loves me' 'uhhh, he just ordered for me....' 'wow, u guys, its so romantic here, he just keeps staring into my eyes'(too bad, cos you've broken the stare to tweet the moment *rolls eyes*
If you're not a reporter, then wait for the dinner or whatever to be over before whipping out the blackberry and telling us how it went... Seriously! We don't need the live update if it's not the election, royal wedding, Mj trial or... you get my point? Something worth taking over our timeline with.

Why is it that the people who never have anything to say are the ones who always go 'PING' on you and want to have conversations everyday? You actually feel like crying when you check you message and see 'that' name there. This feeling of... gosh, i wanna fling my bb. But you're nice like that and have to follow the protocol.

I still haven't figured out why you say 'fanks' and 'fink' to me. Like seriously dude. I really shouldn't start with the 'HBD' 'LLNP' *sigh* And we spent years in school learning to read and write. The shock some parents must be in after receiving mails/letters from their kids.

You've got to get pissed at all the 'subs' flying around. Man up and confront whoever is pissing you off. Throwing subs as your status and tweeting em isn't endearing.
Don't be a coward by going the sub way :p

I shouldn't and wouldn't even go into the broadcasts... not the one of 'if you close/don't broadcast this message then you love the devil...' or 'if you do this then....' Ok, i promised not to go into broadcasts.
This is a perfect response to one of those silly broadcast.....

Classic!!!

Blackberrys... we could hate them all we want, but we're still sleeping with the enemy and reaching out for them as soon as we wake up. (and did i mention those who tweet about hurling the alarm clock? i mean, if you hurled the alarm clock, i just don't get why you wouldn't go straight back to sleep, but pick up your bb to tweet your action? or is it a sleeptweet kinda thing? *straight face*

I'm moving back to the iphone sooner than later.

P.S I'm not judging o... I'll probably be guilty of all these and more if i do a deep bb soul search.

Be real...

2011-10-03T18:02:00.002+01:00

You haven't experienced Dubai if you've never been cornered and lured into a room filled with designers of all sorts... wristwatches, bags, scarves, sunglasses, luggage et co. First grade replicas/knockoffs... they look so real until you do a double take, it's amazing. You'll get either tres excited or irritated.And the fake phones? and video games and beats by dre?
Then we have the Aba boys making tommy hilfinger, addidos and prado stuff. Beautiful leather shoes with quipid labels among others.
There's nothing wrong with imitations... high street brands give us the chance to wear the designer designs for cheap... but there's everything wrong with knock offs.(my personal view)
It'll take nothing to put all the energy, talent and resource they use to make knockoffs, to make a good brand for themselves.
I'll be one of those willing to patronize the Aba boys if they decide to do it right, and make good replicas with their own labels.

Same goes for using knockoffs. Not everyone can afford to buy a £1000 bag i know. But there's no law that says 'buy or die'.
I'm not holy here, I've had my moment. O my days!!!!! I wore my 'designer' stuff with so much pride(one of those awesome imitations). I was beyond suspicion, because... hey, it was me.
Everyone loved my glasses and watch, some wanted to have a closer look... but of course, i knew those who had eyes to spot a fake from a hundred miles and i never let them look close enough. I got tired of dodging and got rid of them.
It's hard living a fake life in a world where some humans have eagle eyes.

I had this argument with a friend once, why torture yourself by buying a fake when you know every now and again you have to hide it from the view of some sharp eyed lady? Like dropping your bag absentmindedly and realizing too late you shouldn't have set it down next to dragon eyes Lara. I'd rather walk around confident with myself and what i can afford, than figuring out if she knows or he knows it's fake. Or having my heart race when people snigger and laugh at something else thinking it's me they're talking about.
She said there's nothing to it, if you can't afford the real thing, use the fake.
The question is, do you really need it? if you're willing to settle for less than the original, then my take is, you don't need it in the first place. Or rather you don't need it for the right reason. More or less you're doing it to gain acceptance or something.
Why spend so much on a fake when you can buy other beautiful authentic brands for less? Plus you wouldn't have to do the hide and seek game when in public and you don't get 'the look'.

And that brings me to what i wanted to talk about all along... How as humans we strive to be someone we're not for the wrong reasons. Not like there's a right reason for not being yourself...
If only we take all the energy, money and time we use trying to be someone else and spend them on being ourselves, we would be better people, accepted for who we are, free and happy, enjoying life the way we should.
Have you ever seen a wannabe try to push her way into certain circles? She's always spotted from miles away, everyone somehow knows she's so fake and she ends up being the inner circle joke as well as a joke to the world around.
Stop trying so hard.
Have you noticed the girl who has to wear every new trend out there even when she looks terrible in them... just because she wants to belong?
I was in the the changing room at Tiffany amber with my sister and this lady tried on an outfit... i'm sure we told her the truth or something close to the truth... it looked awful on her, her folds et all were smiling at us and she sort of got pissed and walked out to look for her husband. She just had to have a tiffany number. Be it fit or not.
On the news yesterday, a lady was going under the knife to get Pippa Middleton's butt... like seriously? You see her in a dress from a wedding one day and the next you think your life would be better if you had her butt?

One of the nollywood movies i can honestly say i enjoyed is 'i belong' check it out here to get a full picture of the shame in the whole fake it to make it then it breaks you game.

So you're no Angelina Jolie my friend, you're a wonderful sweet girl the way you are... you don't have to pout your lips extra to get attention... Buy your super yogo off the bicycle cart when you feel like it... run to the drug store without some makeup on.... give your hair breathing space and go natural sometimes. Just be you. You'll find life is easier that way. You're not always docking when you go out in the 'wrong' clothes and spot people you're trying so hard to impress...

And not just with humans... when we come before God, we're expected to stripe it all down. To drop the facade, to stop pretending we're fine, to leave our 'religious' self behind. He expects us to bare it all and be real with him, he sees beyond the show we put on for the world. He knows us and is not impressed with our cover. All he wants is the real you... original and authentic when you come before him, not praying like you heard Pastor B pray or sound like a replay of the kings james version 'oh thouest fatherest, who heareth my prayereth from heaven, in thy hands thouest holdest ...." you get my drift.
He's just daddy to you and me, and he wants us to talk to him that way, in our own way. "The world is full of so-called prayer warriors who are prayer-ignorant. They're full of formulas and programs and advice, peddling techniques for getting what you want from God. Don't fall for that nonsense. This is your Father you are dealing with, and he knows better than you what you need. Matthew 6:7-8(the msg)

Proudly Nigerian...

2011-10-01T14:48:00.000+01:00

I got this mail some years ago, and thought it'd be fun to share it here. With all the tension in the country, bomb blast, threats of bomb blasts, stupidity of the bombers and you know everything... It's only fair to post this to lighten the mood for our independence... Remember it's just light hearted humor, we're better than this....

***If you have been away from our beloved Nigeria for some time, and you feel like you've lost any entitlement to call yourself Nigerian, let alone carry the coveted GREEN passport. Please answer the questions below and see if you still qualify, compute your scores and let us know what you get.

1) If the sum of $700,000 was erroneously credited to your current account, what would you do?
a. Contact the bank and let them know of
their mistake.
b. Act as if nothing happened and wait it out with the hope that they do not realize, then start spending.
c. Open a Swiss account,transfer the money into it then emigrate to a country where your
bank could not trace you i.e Nigeria.

2) What does the sight of a person in a flowing white garment conjure to
you?
a. A ghost.
b. A Ku Klux Klan member.
c. A member of a reputable spiritual church.

3) If you have good credit do you have.....
a. 1 credit card.
b. 2 credit cards.
c. More than 3.

4) If someone died and left you an 1846 antique Rolex of inestimable
value, would you ....
a. Get it valued and sell it.
b. Donate it to the national maritime museum so the world can view this piece of art.
c.Wear it.

5) Someone brushes past you and hits you in the process, do you...
a. Grab your wallet to check if it is still there.
b. Grab your private parts to see if they are still there.
c. Apologise and expect them to do the same.

6) If you are in the room with three colleagues and you feel like farting, do you......
a. Try and let it out silently and if it smells, deny it wasn't you.
b. Let it out without caring, afterall everybody farts.
c. Let it out silently but apologise to everybody (even though they were not aware in the! first place).

7) You see an ad in the paper for your dream job, but they require one year more experience than you actually have, do you....
a. Not bother applying for the job.
b. Apply but tell the truth about the amount of experience you have.
c. Apply and add the one year of your CV.
d. Apply but add two years experience.

8) You meet a member of the opposite sex you fancy and fancies you, but you find out he/she is a multimillionaire from embezzling public funds in their country, do you ....
a. Feel disgusted and turned off because you think they are corrupt and they lack integrity.
b. Get closer because it doesn't affect the way you feel about them.
c. Become more interested in them and make getting closer to them a do or
die affair.

9) You buy a "pay as U go phone" and before crediting it, you find out
that you can make unlimited and unrestricted calls world wide, do you..
a. Notify the supplier of the problem.
b. Use it until they bar the phone.
c. Use it and call your friends to use it until they bar it.
d. use it to call your friends, and charge people to use it till they bar it.

10) You have a job in an okay career, but you'll need steady career
progression to get a really good salary, however your friends are
getting high paid salaries in a totally unrelated field to yours, do you

a. Feel happy for them
b. Find out the details and get into the field.
c. Find out the details, get into it and tell everyone you know to get
into it, until supply exceeds demand and there is no money in it
anymore.

Please score yourself the following for each question.

1) a-10, b-20, c-50
2) a-10, b-10, c-20
3) a-10, b-20, c-50
4) a-20, b-10, c-50
5) a-20, b-20, c-10
6) a-20, b-10, c-10
7) a-10, b-10, c-20, d-50
8) a-10, b-20, c-50
9) a-10, b-20, c-50, d-50
10) a-10, b-20, c-50

Results:
* If you score less than 110 - APPLICATION DENIED
Please apply for British Citizenship, you are not worthy of holding a
green passport.

* Between 110-200, further cultural adaptation necessary, it is obvious
that you have strong ties with Nigeria, however you need some more work
done. We'll give you a 3-years residency and assess you after that.

* Between 210-300 - APPLICATION ACCEPTED
Nigerian we hail thee - you're truly one of us.

* Between 301-350 - APPLICATION GLADLY ACCEPTED
Please also try applying for govt. position or go into Nigerian
politics.

* 350+ APPLICATION DENIED
You are a threat to Nigeria. Please apply for Indian, Pakistan or
Lebanese Citizenship.

*********

I'm one of those who has blind, ruthless hope for the future of this nation. I still don't get all the negative vibes aimed at the country from youths, predicting doom for the nation in the coming years. Well, maybe it'd be for them in the portion of Nigeria the stand in, as for the rest of the country... all will be well indeed.
Paul advices to pray for our leaders whether we voted them into power or not...."Pray this way for kings and all who are in authority so that we can live peaceful and quiet lives marked by godliness and dignity." 1 Timothy 2:2(nlt)
They need wisdom to lead while they seat in that seat that speaks for us as a nation.
And as a people, lets keep praying, for a healed and restored land... 'If my people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.' 2 Chronicles 7:14(nkjv)

There's this song that says 'Nigeria go better...' She certainly will be, because like it or not, the positive outweighs the negative. Only a nation with a people as strong as we are can still stand despite all the horrors she's faced in the past, can still be whole even with all the pounding shes received. And we'll still stand strong as 'one nation bound in freedom, peace and unity...'
God definitely is on our side.

Happy Birthday Nigeria, my beloved country, my motherland....

Wedding bells...

2011-09-30T19:01:00.000+01:00

'Tis a season to be jolly.... Some of my favorite boys are getting married this season :). And I'm so excited and really sad that i get to miss out on their big day.
Somehow i always manage to be out of town when my friends are getting married. At this rate i wonder if any close friend will be at my wedding.... maybe i should make friends with already married people so they don't have anything to hold against me when my invite gets to them.

Tomorrow is one of my 'boy's' wedding... well he's more of a Muppet but he's the best muppet ever and i hate it so much that i get to miss out on his big day. A day we've all been looking forward to.
If i had come into my trustfund already, i'd take the next available flight to Nigeria just for the wedding. As it is, my trustfund is still in holding... *sigh*
So i comforted myself by going shopping... Fantasy football makes sense right? So i figured, why not go on a fantasy perfect wedding outfit shopping? I got this lovely red dress and i bought this wonderful shoes from expensive shops i usually shun. I've got two lovely dresses for two wonderful weddings.
I'm going to look perfect, like the proud friend that i am. My sister thought it was a tad ridiculos when i mentioned to her that i got a dress for the wedding.... she said, she's sure i'll look good in it when i dress up tomorrow... sarcastically.
I know i will.... that red dress with the peter pan embelished collar is sizzling...

Oh well, so it's not just about me dressing up. It's about celebrating my friend as he begins a new life.

Here's to Vee. The best muppet ever. God bless he and his lovely bride exceedingly, abundantly above all they've ever hoped for in their marriage.

When Truth Takes a Stand.

2011-09-29T17:17:00.003+01:00

The story of Pastor Youcef Nadarkhani keeps nagging me. What a coincidence that just a day after posting about Nasir Siddiki i get to read this.
34 year old Pastor Youcef, a husband and father of two, will be executed in Iran today because he refuses to renounce Christ.

"Youcef is under the death sentence for apostasy. The Supreme Court upheld the death sentence as it is based upon fatwas of the Supreme Leader. On September 25-28 hearings were held by the Gilan provincial court to determine if he was a Muslim. On the 26th they determined that Youcef was a Muslim because his parents were when he was born. All witnesses stated that he did not practice Islam, yet the court inexplicably determined he was a national apostate. At each hearing he was commanded to recant and each time he refused. Two hearings were held after the verbal determination was made by the judges. There is a serious concern that he could be executed at any time because according to Sharia Law you are to be given three days to recant if you are an apostate. He was commanded to recant three straight days after the judges made their determination. The attorney’s for pastor Youcef are stating that, by law, the written verdict must be delivered within seven days. " Full story here presenttruthmn.com

*Apostasy means abandoning your religious faith, in this case leaving Islam for Christianity

Youcef and Family

We have values and we have beliefs we're passionate about. But how many of us will hold on to our beliefs and values even to death?
Wouldn't it have been easier for him to recant, get freed, jet out of the country and go back to Christianity when he's in safe harbor?
It'd be easier for me because, i mean, well... i wouldn't mean it from my heart when i recant right? It was just something i had to say to get them to get off me. To get me accepted and back in the grind of life. I really don't want to die just yet. I've got two sons and you know.... It'd be much easier to just give in than go through this. But that's not the life we as Christians are called to. It's never been about that. It's about holding on blindly to our faith even when there's every reason not to, even in the midst of trials. Even if it's just pretend, for a few hours, for a few days while we pray secretly and make the world around us believe otherwise.

‎"I am resolute in my faith and Christianity and have no wish to recant." Pastor Youcef Nadarkhani

God's will and grace is the end result even if this execution is carried out with all the outcry from around the world, It will still be his will that has been done.
I know for sure that this is doing far more good than harm. It's awakening people to their faith, it's making others curious about this faith, and asking questions like i am 'how strong is my faith?' and working towards strengthening this faith... it's doing something bigger than we can ever imagine.
If only this people trying him knew what they were doing, helping spread the gospel of Christ by this act, I'm sure they'd never have taken this fanaticism of theirs this far. Because, who would want to die to preserve a lie... an uncertain thing? Even fools are wise enough not to die for a lie. And if his willing to die to preserve this truth he believes in, then maybe some unbelievers somewhere would want to check it out and see what's in it worth dying for.

I guess i could speak of everything wrong here, from how his wife was arrested to the threat of his kids been taken away and given to a muslim family all in the bid to get him squirming away from the Christ, who he sees as his way, his truth and his life....
Will this play out like a modern day scene of Daniel, thrown in the lions den for standing for the God of his fathers? or the three Hebrew boys Shadrack, Meshach, and Abed-nego thrown in fire for refusing to bow to any other god?... in both cases they survived and brought glory to God, or will it be more like the disciples that were martyred? another Matthew crucified, another Steven stoned to death, another Peter crucified upside down on a cross in Persia which just happens to be present day Iran... or another one of the many who will be put to test in the coming years.
It's much more easier to be accepted in the world around as an atheist, a drunk, a pimp, an addict than to be a Christian holding on to the standards of old.
Someone commented on one of the news blogs "At the current rate, this could as well be Britain 20 years from now...."

Like Paul says... "For None of us lives for ourselves alone. If we live. we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord" Romans 14:7-8(niv)
I pray we all receive the Grace to stand when we have to, and hold on firmly to our faith when we come to the crossroad of denying it either to get a job, a spouse, friends, a loan or to preserve our life.

Left to die.

2011-09-28T21:18:00.000+01:00

I watched Nasir Siddiki's testimony on one of the christian networks, can't remember which. Stories like this make me wonder why people still doubt... No one is beyond change. Enjoy

Nasir Siddiki

Left to Die
By age 34, Nasir Siddiki, a successful businessman, had made his first million, but money meant nothing to him on his deathbed. Diagnosed with the worst case of shingles ever admitted to Toronto General Hospital , his immune system shut down and doctors left him to die.

The next morning I woke in a sterile room on the eighth floor of the hospital, my skin burning as though someone had doused me in gasoline and lit a match. I felt on fire from the inside out.

My doctor arrived and looked at me in wonder. “The blisters are multiplying so fast I can literally watch them grow,” he said. ‘”Your body isn’t fighting back.”

The next morning, in addition to shingles, I had chicken pox from head to toe. I was put in strict isolation. That evening my temperature soared to 107.6 degrees — hot enough to leave my brain permanently scrambled.

For days I continued to deteriorate. My nerve endings became so inflamed that a hair drifting across my skin sent shock waves of fire rippling through my body. By week’s end, I was listed in critical condition.

My Last Hope

In life, I’d been bold, self confident, a risk taker. But facing death, I was terrified. I had no idea what might await me on the other side. I’d been raised as a Moslem in London , England , and I understood Allah was not a god who heals.

My only hope was in medicine.

I eventually slipped so close to death that the doctors didn’t know I could hear them when they examined me. “His immune system has simply shut down,” one of them said.

“He’s dying,” the other confirmed. “His immune system must be compromised by AIDS.”

I don’t have AIDS! I wanted to shout, but I couldn’t form the words. Then it hit me. He said I’m dying!

The doctors spoke quietly to my co-worker, Anita. “In a few hours he’ll be dead,” they said. “If by some miracle he lives, he’ll probably be blind in his right eye, deaf in his right ear, paralyzed on his right side and he may be severely brain damaged from the high fever.”

Then they left.

They left me here to die! I felt like a drowning man going down for the third time. Gathering my strength I whispered a prayer. “God, if you’re real, don’t let me die!”

In His Presence

During the darkest hour of the night, I woke and saw a man at the foot of my bed. Rays of light emanated from him, allowing me to see his outline. I couldn’t see his face, it was too bright. No one had to tell me, I knew it was Jesus.

The Koran mentions Jesus; Moslems believe He existed, not as the son of God, but as a good man and a prophet. I knew this wasn’t Mohammed. I knew it wasn’t Allah. Jesus was in my room. There was no fear, only peace.

“Why would You come to a Moslem when everyone else has left me to die?” I wondered.
Without words, he spoke to me. “I Am the God of the Christians. I Am the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.”

That’s all He said. He didn’t mention my illness. He didn’t mention my impending death. As suddenly as He appeared, He was gone.

The next morning, the same two doctors arrived to examine me. “The blisters have stopped growing!”

“We don’t know what happened, but the shingles virus has gone into remission!”

The following day, still in pain and covered with blisters, I was discharged from the hospital with a suitcase full of drugs. “Don’t leave home,” the doctor cautioned. “It will be months before the blisters go away, and when they do you’ll be left with white patches of skin and scars. The pain could last for years.”

Stepping outside into the morning sun, I looked like a cross between a leper and the Elephant Man. When people saw me, they crossed to the other side of the street. However, my mind was not on my looks; my thoughts were on Jesus. There was no doubt in my mind that Jesus’ presence in my room had stopped the shingles virus. Whatever else Jesus may be, I realized that in His presence miracles happened.

That fact left me with one consuming question: Is Jesus the Son of God as the Christians claim, or is He just a prophet as I was taught?

At home that evening, in spite of the drugs, the pain and itching was so severe I almost had to tie my hands. Even so, I fell into a restless sleep wondering about Jesus.

Learning to Live

The next morning, I woke early and turned on the television. Flipping through the channels, I froze when I saw the following words across the screen: Is Jesus the Son of God?

I listened intently as two men spent the entire program discussing this topic — answering all of my questions. Before the show went off the air, one of the men led the television audience in a prayer. My body was aflame with pain but I knelt on my living room floor anyway. Tears streaming down my face, I repeated the prayer and invited Jesus into my heart.

Immediately a voracious spiritual hunger sprang up within me. I had to know more about Jesus. In spite of my doctor’s orders to stay inside, the next day I went out and bought a Bible. First I read the books of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. Still ravenous, I started in Genesis and read through the Bible during my sleepless nights.

Meanwhile, Anita brought me books and teaching tapes explaining the Gospel. I devoured them while continuing to study the Word of God. As my understanding of faith began to grow, I dug out a picture of how I looked before shingles. I prayed and asked God to make me look that way again.

Nasir and Anita Siddiki

Jesus, My Healer

One week after my discharge from the hospital, I woke and found my pillow covered in blisters. I must have clawed them in my sleep, I thought. I crawled out of bed and stepped into the shower. What had started on my pillow was finished in the shower: Every blister fell off my body!

Instead of being covered with patches of white and scar tissue, my skin was simply red and raw. It slowly healed, returning to its pre-shingles condition. When it did, I not only looked human, I looked like I did before I got sick, except for the scars that I still carry on my chest.
None of the doctor’s dire predictions came true. My eyesight was 20/20. My hearing was normal. My speech was unimpaired. I suffered no brain damage.

My healing was miraculous, swift and complete. I never suffered from lingering pain or any other complication. Not only did I have the worst case of shingles ever admitted to Toronto General Hospital , I also had the most miraculous recovery.

Jesus, the God of the Christians, showed up in the hospital room of a dying Moslem and healed me. But that wasn’t the greatest miracle He performed. The transformation that occurred in my heart was even more dramatic than the one that occurred in my body.

An international teacher and evangelist, Dr. Nasir Siddiki is the founder of Wisdom Ministries (WisdomMinistries.org). He lives in Tulsa , OK with his wife Anita and their two sons.

Freederm, Pimples and Worrying...

2011-09-24T14:58:00.004+01:00

Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, But a good word makes it glad. Proverbs 12:25

We were going to Abuja for a wedding about two years ago, two weddings actually. It was my sister, my friend and I. Everything was set for a fun weekend away, till I walked into the bathroom for one last look at myself before heading out and there it was. On my neck sat an ugly pimple, of all weekends it had to choose this one. This one where i chose perfection and flawlessness above all else. I knew what to do, I reached for a tube of freederm, it’s known to reduce inflammation in just a few hours and dry out the pimples. It slipped out of my hands and dropped on the floor just as i was taking the cap off,in all the confusion, it somehow found its way under the bathroom cupboard…

Now that wouldn’t have been a problem on any other day, but on this day I decided to travel not like the girl next door, but like a glam chic. My jeans were just a little too tight and the heels of my shoes too high. It didn't feel like a realistic goal to get on my knees to get the gel, it would have been uncomfortable and taking off my shoes to ease the task was a no no. Everyone was already waiting in the car, so I ran off, leaving my solution, just because... I kept looking at the pimple in the mirror and whining about it all the way from lekki to the airport.

It was just impossible for me to take my mind off it; I chose to make it a problem, the one thing that’d ruin my weekend. I was so conscious of that pimple, I touched it, I pulled at it, I rubbed it… I did everything but let it be, my friend tried to get me to leave it alone, but I couldn't, my reflex was working overtime. And from the constant touching, it popped open. Not a good look. Now it was worse and actually noticeable.

At the wedding and every other hour in-between as long as I was with people and outside the hotel room, my hand clumsily covered my neck, I felt everyone was staring at the neck; Even posing for pictures didn’t feel too good. It was horrible. It finally healed after a week or so, that's after i got home, picked the gel up and rubbed an excess amount of gel on the neck, there was a little scar left but i was just so glad to be rid of it. Taught me not to mess with a pimple, just put the Freederm when you have the chance and let it be.

The instruction on the gel pack says to clean and dry the area before applying, meaning you have a part to play. When you have a problem, do what you ought to do immediately. Pray. Then play your part which is what you can as a human and leave the rest to God to do his work... Like keep chasing a dream even if you keep failing or ... you get the point?
Worrying and picking on it doesn't do anything more than making it look worse than it really is... you know like that song 'Objects in the Rear View Mirror May Appear Closer than They Are'. Eventually, when you remember to go to the solution, you would have just gone through pain you shouldn't have had to deal with and a scar for you to hold on to.

Freederm has been known to be effective, and so we confidently apply it knowing that yes, the pimple is there, but the stuff in this wonderful gel is going to work at drying up the pimple and doing it in such a way that we’re not left with scars, that’s why we can go about our normal activities, because we've got something we're so confident will work for us... we don't spend our day picking on the pimple when we know we've put a treatment on it.

Like Jesus said in Luke12:25 "Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?"

We’re only human and so its normal to worry, or rather, people see us as more responsible when we worry. Worry about the future, worry about the bills, worry about food, worry about what to wear et co.
But sometimes I think we just over do the whole worrying business.

I’ve got more things to worry about than anyone would ever believe, but I've learned not to bother about stuff so much, to pray about it and go about life knowing everything will be fine, just like the song says "i will cast all my cares upon you, i will lay all of my burdens down at your feet... when i don't know what to do, i will cast all my cares upon you" best thing to do is pray about it and go about life like everything is okay, because i know everything will be fine in the end.

"Worry quietly eats away at your spiritual health until bitterness comes in and destroys your faith. Trusting him will always bring peace." T.D Jakes

I Jump in on life and let God take care of it, i know the problem is there, but then again, i know My God is there and he's capable. That's why I'm able to smile despite the dozens of things i should be worrying about. I dress my best, i make my hair, i paint my nails and I'm excited about new shoes and eating out, and traveling, and puff puff, spent my last dollar like i had a trust fund somewhere ... I've rubbed my freederm on the problem spots and i know its going to be alright.
"Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you."1 peter 5:7(nlt) Lets face it, when has worrying ever made anything right? rather it just gets you sick and makes you an angry and gloomy person most of your days...

Prayer is the freederm of life. We know the problem is there, but we pray about it knowing the God we pray to will take care of it, he’ll help us solve the problem and everything will go away eventually. That's what's faith is about. If only we could take that time out to pray. Dwell more on our faith that it'll be okay and worry less, for "Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, But a good word makes it glad."

A good word here is the comfort from prayers,the reassurance of God's word "Tell the righteous it will be well with them..."Isaiah3:10(NIV). All will be well indeed because we serve the author of time, the king of the universe and he works things out for our good as long as we have faith in him and trust him to come through for us. Most times we pray it all wrong, i read somewhere 'instead of telling God how big your problem is, tell your problem how big your God is'

You can let worry ruin your life... You can focus on the spot and end up missing out on the fun of the wedding and taking lovely pictures and having fun... Just because of that spot that you failed to 'bother' with the one effective solution. Don't miss out on the other beauties of life because of few problems.

"Why I go worry o
When I can talk to my Father
What is the problem o
I think I better run to my Father" ... Obiora Obiwon, F.A.T.H.E.R

Isaiah 26:3 You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!

So why Worry?

"Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And if worry can’t accomplish a little thing like that, what’s the use of worrying over bigger things?“Look at the lilies and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are.
And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?" Luke 12:25-28(nlt)

**** i'm not the fussy girl who gets grey hair over a pimple or two... i know i went through it that one time to teach me this lesson on worrying.

Doggy no be bingo...

2011-09-22T16:53:00.000+01:00

I'm not a dog person. Maybe i once went crazy when daddy brought a black puppy home, we all really did care for her. I watched her grow, i watched her have her puppies and i cried when they had to give some of the puppies away. But my dog affair died after that dog died. If i have to touch a dog, i run to scrub my hands right after. While i think some of them are cute, i don't think they're cute enough to jump on my bed, eat from my plate or lick my face. I am not 'anti-dog', I'm just not into them beyond awwwing and uhhhhing when i see cute puppies or watch dog movies.

My sister and i were driving out one day and we saw a man walking this beautiful dogs, and she said "they're blessed with nice dogs here(obodo oyinbo), God knows why we don't have such dogs in Nigeria"
And indeed she couldn't have been more correct. With all the malnourished bingos walking the streets of Nigeria, the dog is nothing near a 'man's best friend'. Just a handful of people drive around Lagos with their dogs in their cars... mostly expatriates and wannabe ladies who've watched too much movies for their own good, and this handful are the ones buying the dog food and treating their dogs like ~~humans~~ with respect.
Nigerian dogs are given anything to eat... why bother with dog food when they can eat whatever they can find in the dump, or whatever you can't finish from your plate ...


apparently Dog meat is called 404

I used to think the 'joke' of eating dogs was just a joke... apparently i was wrong. I saw this article in the papers some months ago and i was stunned, like seriously? I remember as a child this man riding a bicycle would ride past the house with miserable looking dogs in a cage tied behind his bike. Our help at that time would tell me the dogs were sold to him and he was going to resell it to those(from a particular geographical location of the country) who ate it. It was just a plain silly old joke to me.

a friend put this up as his DP

"God knows why we don't have such dogs in Nigeria"
Imagine a nice little Chihuahua head served isi-ewu style, or a bull dog stew or hound dog suya, or peppered poodle.....
I checked and there are over three hundred breeds of dogs out there. Most of them dressed in more designer gears than some could ever afford to own, going to dog spas and having their own nannies et co. Treated better than some children in this country.
Yet we only see the usual bingo type dogs and Alsatian dogs in Nigeria(...and not because they're our best friends, but because who else would assist the guards in keeping our houses safe?) And just a handful of the cute breeds.

They say its a 'dog eat dog world' out there. But in Nigeria... It's a man eat dog world. Dogs may be a mans best friend, but backbiting best friends is taken literal in these parts :)
Be sure to drop by at Itoroobong when ever you're in the area... We can't guarantee Labrador peppersoup, but at least you get to drink the palm wine, and a nice bowl of gear box(plate of dogs liver,heart and kidneys) or maybe a plate of Tyre is what you would prefer(dog legs), maybe telephone?(dog's tail) or probably headlights(the bowl where the dog eyes happen to be in, more like the isi-ewu of dog world). We promise we do the sentencing(clubbing the dog to death before cooking) ourselves, so you don't have to worried if you're eating a dead dog found on the road, and our meals are cooked with the expertise only an ~~akwa ibom~~ Okon can whip up.

*apparently dog meat is called 404 after the Peugeot 404 car because dogs run as fast as the car. Who would have thought? And yes i did a bit of research on this. It's beyond me that anyone would want to eat a dog, shouldn't that be called cannibalism?... ewwww.

Please don't blame me...

2011-09-21T00:14:00.002+01:00

This is a story I've shared on this blog before. Recent events made me dig it up.
It's about Mr. Dele. He was my teacher in my primary school. I think i was in class 3/4(i forget). He always smelt of cigarettes, and he was so uglyyyyyy, we gave him a nickname. We called him 'caricature' behind his back, not like we knew the meaning but it sounded like a name an ugly person ought to have.

Sometimes i was asked to pick and drop off our work books for the different subjects in the store room after our lessons. The room was large and quite dark, anything could happen in there with no one knowing except someone happened to walk in. I don't think an SOS sent from in there would have been heard either.

I'm in there one day and Mr. Dele walks in, smelling of cigarettes as usual, and his 'caricature' face smiling at me in the semi dark room. He said "Joy Joy, when will i enjoy you?"....

My poor naive self had only one idea of what he spoke of and so i said "on my birthday" in the tiny voice i reserved exclusively for adults (i was thinking sweets, cakes and drinks)
"when is your birthday?" he asked inching closer, his ugly face and tobacco brown teeth looking more horrible with the poor lighting.
"July 6th" i answered shyly.
"that's too far now" he grumbled still inching closer.

Just then some other students walked in and he went about his business, i picked my books up and walked out. I remember that i felt relieved to be out of there, i didn't know why... but getting back to my class was a joy.
Somehow that scene never left my head, in uni i 'gisted' a couple of friends, we had a good laugh and i even had to live with the mocking of 'Joy Joy when would i enjoy you' in their best Mr Dele impressions... the mocking and laughter came after i analyzed the situation... What if people didn't walk in when they did? This apparently was deeper than the laughs, probably why I've never forgotten it, i can still see it all in my head.
What if he touched me or tried something more? It was a dark room, and remember i said an SOS would have been very ambitious.
How many others did he corner and try to 'enjoy'?
Did he actually molest anyone?

I'm thankful today that the story is different, but are there other lil' girls out there in our schools being molested and feeling too scared to speak out? Maybe because they don't understand what's happened to them?... I know i wouldn't have said anything if he actually tried something, i have a habit of keeping things inside me till they eat me up... I didn't mention this to anyone till i was in uni... I've never even mentioned it to my family.
That's the story of Mr. Dele. Wonder if he's still alive...fool like him. that event has somehow managed to keep replaying in my head all these years.
And that's what it is, girls walking the street carrying deep scars left from violations of their bodies but too afraid to speak up. Afraid of the shame and the blame from the society.Because somehow it was their fault, even when they know it wasn't.
I was about six years or there about when this happened, would they have said it was my fault if it went beyond the talk?

That's why my heart breaks for lady in the video being circulated. Read more on the video here I haven't seen it and i don't intend to. It doesn't matter if it was in ABSUU or within the boundaries of Abia state or not.(i wonder why this is more important to the government et co) What matters is that it happened, and the boys were in their right senses because they thought to record the horrific act... if we excuse them by saying maybe they were high on drugs or call it temporal insanity, then what's the excuse for the video been circulated? I'm sure whatever demon supposedly possessed them must have gone for a snack when they hit the send button. It shows they felt no remorse and they actually felt good about what they did. There is no excuse for such a barbaric act... none what so ever. It's sad that even in this case, people still blame the girl. Even if she dressed like some girl out of a 50cent video, she still didn't deserve it.

"wise people think before they act;fools don't-and even brag about their foolishness" Proverbs 13:16

When babies cry as hard as they can and still don't get any attention, they suck on something, be it their thumbs, tongue or gum and go back to sleep... i hope this doesn't go to sleep, for as long as it takes, i hope the cry and the anger is kept alive, i hope we don't get tired and go back to watching 'oliver' dance videos. At least let this be the one in the hundred we never hear about that gets justice.

The law of six decrees says, you're approximately six steps away by way of introduction from every other person on earth. A friend of a friend of a friend. If we don't start speaking out now, you're just six steps away from knowing the next lady that will be raped, and too scared to speak out... Like Myne says "Speak up and Stop the predators".
I desperately hope the young lady finds the courage to speak. I pray God heals her heart, only his grace can make her whole again after such an ordeal. I also hope all the silent voices muted by the pain and shame of their ordeal begin to speak too. Silence is a 'get out of jail free' pass for all the sickos who smile at our children, our sisters and our mothers.

Eldorado Chat... The Rebirth

2011-09-18T21:09:00.001+01:00

Inyamu aka FQ did her first ever interview, yayyy!!! Trust me, it wasn't a walk in the park getting the right questions.
Anyways, I'm a novice, but hey, this turned out good and i just might start a crusade for those wonderful gospel acts out there who've made beautiful songs but have been pushed to the background with just a select few taking over the airwaves.
**************************

He's put his hand on the plow and he's not turning back. RnB crooner turned gospel artist Obiora Obiwon got hit by the love bug... now he's completely souled out for Christ and makes no apologies.
The entertainment world is a dog eat dog world, a hustle for a bite of the bone no matter what breed you are or die industry. But this cat has ignored the bone and held on to the source of his nine lives.
From hand picking events to perform at, to leaving the 'groove' that commonly walks hand in hand with celebrities.... Enjoy our chat.

Describe yourself to me in 3 words?

Passionate, fun, easy-going (That's three and a half isn't it?)

So tell me about your "rebirth"?

While I was soul-searching sometime in 2007, I decided it was time to have a bit more "God" in my life, you know, like we always do when things toughen up (smiles). As that went on I realized that some of the things I was "enjoying" as a young fly dude were in contrast to the faith I was trying to pursue. Day after day in my search I had to tell myself the truth that really, who I was as a popular r'n'b singer, the parties, the girls, my friends, etc seemed to be coming between me and my new pursuit, you know, like what would my friends say? what would my fans say?...All of a sudden I'm not feeling so good with my relationship with God after clubbing, do I have to stop that too? I got tired of the tug of war and then one day in 2008 while walking back home alone, I just said, you know what, Jesus, I give in totally, friends, whatever, I give everything to you, if you want to change anything, my music, who I am, anything at all, just give me the grace to do whatever. That night I felt an unspeakable peace like I had never felt before. It was like some battle was finally over. A few weeks later I had a divine encounter through a dream and my life's not been the same ever since then. It was only apt to title the music coming from the new me "The Rebirth".

The whole change in life style.... the personal transformation? Some see it as an impossibility, leaving it all behind. I mean come on... partying like a rock star especially in Lagos where there's all the events, and you've got to be seen in the hot spots mingling and photographed to be visible to the fans.... how are you coping with that?

I dance as a hobby so the first few times after my total surrender I used to club and tell myself "Hey, you're only going there to dance and not grind with anyone or lust after some girl so no harm done right?". But then the more I worshiped and got intimate with the Lord, the more I became sensitive to His Spirit. So much so that the very lyrics of the songs and the very ambiance of the club or some party setting would simply hit me like some negative wind, and make me so uncomfortable and bothered, so I stopped hanging out in such places entirely. I run into some of my entertainment friends that I used to party with and they ask me how come you don't hang out with us any more? You used to be the life of the party, etc... I still go for events because it's important to share my new lifestyle with others, but it really depends on the kind of event, what it's cause is, and what role I would be playing there. People still invite me to sing my love songs, which I do, but I thank the Holy Spirit for giving me boldness to at least tell the organizers "but you do know I'm now a gospel artiste so I will be ministering one or two gospel songs with that right?" (smiles).

How have your fans reacted to your transformed self...?

Mixed feelings, but things like this take a little time...with God there's always a process. The greatest fear for my fans has been that they'll stop hearing the love songs they've come to identify me with and I'm like, I believe it's now I can sing the most beautiful love songs ever, flowing straight from the Author of man/woman love Himself. I still plan to do a full love album as a side project and in the upcoming album, there's a love song. However there's a much greater love to sing about first and focus on as reflected in my three new singles and that is the love of God and the indescribable beauty and joy of praising, worshiping and following Him.

What's your inspiration? How do you come up with those love tunes?... and its great how one minute you're crooning to melt the heart of a woman and the next you're warming God's heart.

Funny... never thought of it that way. It's only in loving God and getting to know Him first that we realize that it is actually possible to find that great love between man and woman, since He made it and "He looked and saw that all that He made was good". He is the source of all and He's the one that places the songs in my heart. The best of all we seek for in life lies with Him if only we'll trust and completely follow His principles.

So is there anyone behind 'Obi Mu O'? We heard rumors of an engagement... is it true or just another rumor?

Very true. I met her sometime in 2007 and 3 days later I was talking marriage. She had me wait four years though. I wrote Obi Mu O months after we met and we're getting married in a few weeks.

You recently went through a major surgery, what was that about?

It happened in the last quarter of 2010 and I had a kidney stone removed. Quite a trying time it was for me and family but it ended up strengthening my faith the more. I'm so grateful for the revelations I received during that period which enabled me to quickly go through it.

What's your take on the gospel music in Naija?

The Nigerian gospel music scene was doing way much better in the years prior to my entry. I'm anxious to start contributing what I can and start bringing the players together. There are millions of Christians in churches every Sunday, in prayer camps and even during weekly services so there's no reason why gospel music in Nigeria should be in the state it's currently in, if one is strictly looking at the numbers, so perhaps it's a bit deeper than that. I believe changes will begin to occur once true and passionate ministers begin to come together for the common cause. We need to build platforms to get the music out there, since there's no Christian radio culture yet in Nigeria and there's really so much we can expect from the secular radio stations.

What do you hope to achieve with the new album?

Get more people to come into an intimate relationship with Christ.

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Thanks to Obi for sharing and so excited about his wedding :) ... Here's his three recently released singles... enjoy.

Follow You featuring Nutty Josh

Good to Me

F.a.t.h.e.r (Part 2)

You Think You Know... Grateful for Change.

2011-09-16T00:46:00.000+01:00

Loads of things pissed me off. Like telling me to come to church... Like seriously, i go to church, when I'm in the mood. So stop giving me that look of 'come to church' you looser.

And so i went to church... every sunday or every other Sunday, looking my best. When i didn't feel the need to sleep in cos i had to work on Monday or when there was nothing to do, i went to church.
Acting like the princess i wasn't. Watching people wearily as they danced and sang. The awkward moments when the person beside me kneels in gratitude or face flat on the floor when we're all standing to pray, like seriously, why so evil(i just have to use that slang or I'll choke:)).
And even more awkward was the well dressed lady who wore better shoes than me... she lifts up her hands with well manicured nails(i took note) tears run down her cheeks, and she speaks in tongue, through her well painted lips... Unashamed... it's appalling. I mean we're here for God, but come on, enough with the embarrassing show off... i don't even know you and I'm quite embarrassed for you. Don't dress dignified if you're not going to act that way.
I always had an offering, the smallest denomination i could find in my bag,because there were cinema tickets to buy, thisday styles to buy, hang outs to pay for.
Why stay till the end of the service if i could bail in the middle for a brunch date, or better still, seat through and drift off day dreaming, at least i was in church just in case some over zealous person asked.

And then you tell me hanging out on a Friday night and having the best time of the week is wrong. Come on, people love to see me out, they love my presence, I'm fun to be with... You just don't know what is to be missed, the social ladder you get to climb, the popularity. And do you know the sort of deals you get to strike just by being at the right club at the right time? one minute you're just wanting to have fun and the next you're having a convo about this deal that makes Monday look better than good.
Most annoying is you criticizing my music collection, telling me to be selective of what i listen to, to ease out on the programmes i watch. Now that's plain crazy. Move over to the next fool to lie to. I love God too, but i think you're just trying to over do it to make him think you love him more.....

Fast forward to today, I'm that person I used to despise, walking in the opposite direction of what i thought was the life. I'm the well dressed pretty lady(hey, I am) lifting holy hands and standing unashamed in my worship. I'm the one singing the song like i wrote it myself(off key of course) and smiling with tears i can't explain rolling out. I'm the one wanting to give an offering worth something. I'm the one giving up fun Sunday brunches up for church. I'm the one you're uneasy with when i ask innocently if you were in church today...

I remember some magazine wanted me to join their team as a columnist... I didn't see myself as a writer but some saw my blogging as fun back in the day before I got all Jesus in their face.
Anyways I was excited about this new opportunity, we brainstormed, we had ideas,i was uncertain but willing to give it a try till a pastor friend of mine asked me if my articles would be about Jesus... I was mad at him, must everything be about Jesus? Does this magazine spell 'religion' to you? I got defensive and irritated with him.
I was just waking up to a renewd faith and that wasn't even something I thought I could do, that was like a public suicide, loosing my 'cool' factor.... I couldn't even imagine blogging Jesus on here, what would peope think? Would I still have my faithful readers?... Of course i planned on doing the 'Thank God, bla bla bla' once in a while, but i'd stick to the original script of the blog 90 percent of the time.

And a year plus down the road I look back and see my plan has been reversed, its now 99percent Jesus and a little about other stuffs. I didn't plan it this way. But he sort of creeps into every post I have drafted. (old time readers will notice I've taken down close to half of my old posts... ) It's amazing the number of hits i get these days... contrary to what i thought, Jesus is getting more hits than whatever it is i wrote about in the past. I have lost readers, but i have gained more readers than what i lost.

I look for excuses not to do a fast...
I get 'religious' sometimes forgetting my relationship with God is more important...
I sneak a peak at some programs as much as i'm no more addicted to them, i mean i'm not that into TV anymore, but i just can't resist wanting to know what Carrie and Big are up to, because they're just such a sweet sight as a married couple, while same time casting the spirit of Samantha away, or wanting to see what Ari is up to even though i don't agree with what hollywood preaches to me through Vince et co.
Sometimes, my faith is my personal secret when i seat in crowds where i ought to say something.
Sometimes reading my bible is a challenge....
Sometimes, it feels like it's too hard being his girl... but that's just sometimes.
I'm definitely not close to where i ought to be, but thank God I'm not where i used to be.

It is possible to change... To see things differently.
To give offerings and be excited about it... To feel empty when you havn't been in fellowship for a while. (i joked that once upon a time, twas cool for the bouncers to know you, helped alot, today i'm friends with ushers... go figure)
It's possible to get invites to be guests of some club owner or two and decline.
To miss an event you've looked forward to for so long because you have fellowship... or you don't agree with whatever it is it's promoting.
All things are possible, especially change. I should know.

This is a gratitude journal entry. I'm not bragging about my faith. I'd be a fool to think i was able to change on my own and embark on this journey as a freshly (re)crowned princess to the kingdom i was born to reign in.
I'm thankful for the gift of salvation.
For all those who've continuously prayed for my soul.. To God for not giving up on me...to my heart for letting its guard down and understanding true joy isn't in my beauty and how many people chase after me and want me, in the clothes I wear or the crowd I roll with, in the money I have or what I can get. I'm thankful and I'll guard this gift that's been freely given to me, cos my life is worth nothing without it.

Gulliver...

2011-09-13T16:50:00.000+01:00

I don't know how i read Jonathan Swift's book when i was younger... i tried reading some pages again as an adult and i was somewhere between lost and... well lost. I got to see the recent movie adaptation with Jack black... it was a decent enough movie, more bearable than the book or the previous movie.
It got me thinking... Gulliver's travels sort of comes alive in our day to day life. It's an adventure closer to home than we realize... It begins and ends in our mind at one point, what we perceive situations to be. Well at least that's what i make of it, it's easier giving myself that thought than trying to figure out the philosophy of the book really talks about.

We have our moments. When we are seen as larger than life. When we arrive Lilliput. A place where we are perceived as giants, because the people we come across are so small minded and insecure by what you have. They hate that you wear lovely colors, use red lipstick and speak your mind... a people so closed and held in bondage by their shallowness... its a shock to see someone from the outside come in their midst and live in a standard so different from what they are used too. And sometimes this people are our friends... they hate you just because they feel they have to be like you to make their lives better.

And because they see you as bigger than them, they'd rather fight you and call you an enemy than be the best friends they can be. They're hostile and make life difficult for you in their midst. You're sentenced and criticized for every sneeze and every breath you take… because you’re better than them... in their minds eyes, what their perception tells them.
Sometimes they are lucky enough to eventually realize you're no threat to them like the little men in the movie did, and they end up learning from you and seeing themselves as big as you are, sometimes not.
Guard your heart with all diligence.... what you see in your minds eye is usually what you get. See me as better than you, and I'll definitely be better than you even if I'm not half as talented as you are, and you'll spend the rest of your life hating on me and walking around like an ant while i strut around like the giant you've perceived me to be.
Stop being a lilliputian. Refuse to put yourself down and under. Self esteem has to be on a rise in you, just like yeast in a warm room...

And then we arrive in Brobdingnag(never ask me to pronounce this please), a land of giants. Only this time you're seen as the little one. And you're not hostile to the big guys, you're just in a larger than life situation where the giants and lords of the land are not hostile but are amused by you.

It's like a 'Johnny just come' situation. Johnny going to 'ogbodo oyinbo' for the first time, where he sees 'oyinbo people' and he sort of feels they've got to be way ahead of him, he's got a long way to catch up but he's determined... Just because everything seems to work for them and life is somewhat easily than where he comes from where electricity is a luxury. He knows he's worth something, but he's at a disadvantage because of where he comes from... Johnny is special in this land, they want to feel his skin to see if the black will rub off, they ask him silly questions like "do you have lions as pets back home?" they want to know if "he lives in a tree'...(i know a couple of people who've been asked this questions).

Or lets say you suddenly come into this wealth or become a billionaire wife(or whatever situation that elevates you far above where you were in life). A position that takes you round the world to meet, party and dine with the who is who... Life suddenly couldn't get any posher than what has been tossed at you. It's overwhelming. You don't see yourself as less than this people you dine with, but you just have a lot of catching up to do in getting used to the good life. And so you start with the fake accents(ahem)
Sometimes when the 'big' people know you feel a little stunted by the whole new world thing, they act so nice to you... so nice that you feel patronized, because you're nothing but a spectacle to them as you try to break into your new louboutin shoes...
I'm sure Gulliver will tell you it's really not nice been in the land of giants, those long long meetings/lunches et co before you get accepted... and No, this is beyond your perspective and what your minds eye sees, this is the real world.
We've all been there at one point or the other on both sides of the table... confident, but overwhelmed with all the new things we have to break into... I guess when you get to the land of the Brobdingnag, you just hang in there and toughen up till you finally feel comfy in your new shoes and you can pick the right fork up even if you're blindfolded... you'll be accepted soon enough.

and that's all folks... My thoughts on Gulliver's travels and i'm sticking to it, even if you think it rings silly :).

We got Annie...

2011-09-10T19:56:00.002+01:00

I love the movie Annie. I could watch it over and over again. Who doesn't? the cute freckle faced, curly red haired orphan girl who rose from obscurity to a place of wealth, light and love. One day Annie was just another orphan singing 'its a hard knock life' and the next she's an heir to a fortune. I got something more out of Annie as an adult.

She's in an orphanage but she knows she doesn't belong there, because she believes there's someone out there for her(her parents) coming back to rescue her, but that doesn't stop her from living like the other orphans in drab clothes and eating boring meals and sucking up to Miss Hannigan.
She tries escaping through the laundry mans van which doesn't turn out well as she's led by the ear back to the home...
And then the great unexpected happens... you see she's always expected a rescue, but even this exceeded what her dreams had painted, saved by the beautiful Miss Grace.... and brought into a world of wealth and love like she's never known before. She's moving in with the richest man in America, Miss Hannigan:"The Oliver Warbucks? Oliver Warbucks, the millionaire?" Miss Grace: "Oh no. Oliver Warbucks, the billionaire....
A mansion filled with servants, all at her beck and call, she isn't to lift a finger, there's someone to pick up all her toys...all her needs will be met. She's also got the Warbucks' bodyguards Punjab and Asp for protection least anyone lays a finger on her. She has a free pass to the president of the country. She's in a secure world within a world of insecurity and the great depression...

But Annie is still sort of hung in the past, her past expectations of what true joy should be, which isn't real... thus when shes given the chance to have all this forever she hesitates, she wants what she feels is out there for her(her late parents)... and so the evil ones come out to play in the form of Rooster and Lily St. Regis.... Fast forward, badt guys aka Punjab and Asp and co are on to the rescue, a battle she partakes in too, to save herself. She's brought back to the mansion and she realizes shes got the best thing she could ever hope for in Daddy Warbucks, and she's singing "together at last, together forever....."

And i know you've seen the movie, don't get bored with my sketchy details, stay with me, i'm going somewhere with this...

God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. Ephesians 1:5

Like it or not, we're just like the little orphan girls in the cold cold world we choose to live in outside Christ, a world ravished by the great depression and little hope. There's no joy in it, we live within the facade Miss Hannigan(devil) has built to make people believe it's a joyful place within this home, singing "it's a hard knock life for us... No one cares for you a smidge, When you're in an orphanage!..."
Some of us realize this and try to escape from the craziness of the world in our own wisdom by getting into Mr bundles laundry basket.

Unfortunately we're not strong enough and the devil gets us back to his home even before we get past the first hour in church, in no time we're back to our old selves. You can't change on your own, and that's why we've got to be thankful for sweet beautiful Grace who comes to the orphanage to pick us(the holy spirit). There's a tussle between Miss Hannigan and Grace, but we're finally broken out, especially when we're determined and restless like Annie.

tussle between ~~the Devil~~ Miss Hannigan and the ~~Holy Spirit~~ Grace for you ;)

Adopted into the kingdom of God, God who's wealthier than daddy Warburks. This new life rocks... the angels are singing, there's dancing and celebration at your arrival, the song "...we've got Annie' resounds in the heavenly mansion. "I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent."Luke 15:7

You have Punjab and Aps to protect you 24/7 "For He shall give His angels charge over you, To keep you in all your ways. In their hands they shall bear you up, Lest you dash your foot against a stone." Psalm 91:11-12(nkjv)
You have Miss Grace(the holy spirit) directing you and helping you settle and move along smoothly in your new life, "...he will guide you into all truth..."John 16:13...
Life is a blast. But you're still sort of caught up in a false hope of something out there in the world for you, something you feel you're missing out on, and if you don't "Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life."Proverbs 4:23, Rooster and Lily will come in with ease, dressed in what you kinda lust for in the world, telling you they are what you've hoped for and dreamed of for so long. Their perfect plan to take you out of your bliss of a "...rich and satisfying life", just because you let them get you by letting your guard down "...The thief's purpose is to steal and kill and destroy."John 10:10

Some are not so lucky like Annie, Rooster really does take them away and they never get a second chance. But some fight Rooster off when they realize the lies and deceit they've been tangled in, and they come back to the mansion... stronger in faith and singing songs like 'The sun will come out, Tomorrow Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow, There'll be sun!' for they've grown in wisdom and know that "Now faith is the assurance that what we hope for will come about and the certainty that what we cannot see exists" Hebrews 11:1
And you'll hold hands with your father singing "Together at last! Together for ever! We're tying a knot, They never can sever!... i don't need anything but you"
Through your coming to the kingdom you make a way to bring other orphans into this house of joy and you live happily ever after... like Annie did for the rest of Miss Hannigans girls. The poor orphan girl is now an heir to a great empire. Who would have thunk? With Righteousness, Peace and Joy available to her all the days of her life.

For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then theirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ. Romans 8:14-17

Miss Hannigans words rings true in my ears "Why any kid would want to be an orphan is beyond me." Choose to be adopted today. My adoption paper has been signed and I'm having a blast.

oh, what Joy ever after with Daddy Warbucks :)

Photo credit:/www.thefancarpet.com

Holding on....

2011-09-08T02:49:00.000+01:00

When you take a stand, it feels great..., especially when you're able to keep still when the fine, the rich, the bloke, the hunk, the barritones come pulling your arms. You shake a little, but you dig your feet deeper into the ground of your conviction.
And it's all good till everyone around you starts giving their opinions aggressively.
Especially those on your bbm contact list who shouldn't even be there in the first place.... ex toasters who claim they've moved on and are happy but still make it a point to say hey and tell you how great their lifes are... if life is that great then i think you'll spend your time enjoying it, rather than taking regular coffee breaks to tell me or who ever how great it is and ask when you're going to make yours great by getting a ring on it... just like they did.

The accusations of being too picky wakes you up from your bliss of taking a stance and you wonder... and you almost start to doubt, have you taken it too far?... What's unequally yoked got to do with it? a little disparity ain't gonna hurt nobody, he's a moslem so what? not like he goes to the mosque, you can change him... he's a party boy, so what? He's kind of extra cool the way he is, and besides, you wouldn't let him take you to the clubs, you'll stay home praying for him to change... and you think maybe your standard is really too high... especially after that friend turns on you and hisses... "go date your bible" at you. Ouch!

Your faith is a little shaky until you pick up the guide book for life and right there in your face you see it "... she is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls."prov 31:10(Amp) and it hits you... that's you the book is talking about, how dare they put you down for taking yourself to be who you are. Who are you not to have high standards if the book says you're all these and much more... more precious than all the precious jewels man has ever seen. That's reason enough to rise above the opinions of others and stick to what you know/believe even if those around you don't see or think it.

And then you're doing the chicken dance with joy at the reminder of who you are, and you smile, keep your head up like the princess you are, and happily tell the next person pinging your life out, that you love the standard you've set, and you wouldn't lower it for anything, if no ones able to climb up that fence, then maybe no one deserves you, but till then.... you'll keep being wonderfully too hot to handle in your high standard apartment, and be happy while you're at it, because you refuse to compromise.

Dear Dairy.

2011-09-06T23:50:00.001+01:00

I've always had a dairy since i can't remember... from an ugly 'exercise' book to the state government/bank branded day planners to those fancy journals around. Once upon a time i couldn't and wouldn't go to bed without writing in my journal.
Some saw it as dorky, but it was my special thing.

I'm glad i did. I go back and read stuff my younger self wrote and how my mind functioned and i want to slide under the bed and hide from the silliness that was me :).
I was reading some of my old dairies and i was shocked. It just shows me how much I've grown, prayers that have been answered and how things i thought mattered at that moment weren't worth the trouble of sleepless nights. I was such a crazy soul hidden in the calmness of me. So deep thank God i didn't drown in myself... and the books i read? Loads of books out there mess your mind up, especially when the mind dwells in a wavery place. They were harmless to the eyes. But i've realized that those things go deeper than you can imagine(books aren't just books and movies aren't just movies)... books on dreams and astrology with a sprinkle of spells hidden in the pages, palm reading et co... thinking back it almost feels like i was on the borderline of being drawn into something beyond the ordinary, i never tried any of them, doesn't mean i didn't read with interest. Luckily for me, after reading the first harry potter book, rather than get drawn into it, i had nightmares and swore off it, or else...lord have mercy.
I laughed and i cringed as i read through my '04 journal I was a lot of things at 19 according to my journal, i'll share a few...

*I had a little over 50 pairs of shoes. I'm not exaggerating, there was this guy called eskimo i bought shoes from. I just kept buying, some i never got to use, my mom wasn't so impressed whenever she came into my room. I didn't really need them, but i just had to have another pair or three. It was always fun counting my shoes (reading that in my journal made me realize that those things you're desperate to have are nothing... years later you look back and they don't make sense. I can;t tell what happened to half of the shoes. Don't kill yourself if you can't afford another pair of shoe today. It's not worth it in the long run. A few years from now, you wouldn't even need it)

*I cried a lot for no reason. I loved to be alone in my room and the sobbing would start in that moment. ... apparently shoes and material things don't give you an automatic ticket to happiness. It looked like i had it all on the outside, a car, a life... clothes and a decent popularity rating, but i wasn't really happy.

*I had loads of 'toasters'. I laughed hard when I read how amazed i was that a boy I never met in my life came to the house to look for me and declare his love. I just couldn't understand how a person could do that. I had to make didi once to look younger than my age cos much older boys were after me, i wanted to scare them off. Perverts, apparently the younger the better. It was a no shaking situation for them.

*I was fat... I would eat a lot, then whine about my weight in my journal, then starve myself, then hit the new and only gym in town the next day(the humblest gym I've seen to date)... At 19 I was stupid enough to spend money on Quincy Ayodele slimming package. That slimming program was worth nothing and so expensive, all it told you to do was go on some diet plan which really was eating nothing and drinking some yucky tea. "I'm so so fat, Ayodele isn't working... I really feel like being married right now" *straight face*
Basically i felt by being married there did be less pressure on self about my weight, it was an automatic ticket to being big and free. My favorite uncle said it was just baby fat and I'd outgrow it... how i love that man. Because i did outgrow it :)

*I wanted to preach and win souls for God... i remember having a dream that i was on a pulpit once. Then I wrote, "I know that's just wishful thinking." (I just couldn't figure how to get closer to God)

*I was insecure about my looks! I haven't changed much from what i looked like then, maybe a little older and less chubby. But how in the world was my mind able to play that card on me? One day i'd feel beautiful and the next all i'd see was a lot of flesh. I was scared people only wanted to be around me cos of my looks and maybe i wasn't worth anything if it was taken away on the days the mirror showed me a pretty girl. I wondered and called my gift my curse. Thank God he didn't agree with my silliness and take it all away.

Nineteen was such a year indeed. I'm glad I've outgrown some of my fears and worries. I love my body whatever size it is. I look in the mirror and i see a beautiful and wonderfully made woman. My self esteem is on an all time high. I'm slowly but steadily getting to where i want to be. I don't cry as much as i used to. I'm happier than i ever was even with less clothes and fewer shoes.
I've read through different years of my life and i'm truly glad i documented those details. Some thoughts i wrote gets me thinking... is that really how a girl of seventeen should think?

These days i don't have the everyday sort of journal... but i have a gratitude journal, and my spirit gets revived whenever i read through it and see Gods faithfulness, from provision to deliverance, to protection to restoration and his promises.
I'm starting a daily journal again. I would love to look back at this moment five years from now and see how my little worries are nothing, and how my fears are just a bunch of silliness. I would love to see how my dreams, more elaborate than they were ten years ago have come true. It's like going through a photo album from the past, only the pictures you're seeing are your thoughts.

Drowning in Love.

2011-09-04T00:27:00.002+01:00

I love my nieces so much, more than numbers like they would say.... but as much as i love them, sometimes i love my space more... and i wish the summer holiday would be over so they'd get back to school and i can breath freely without having to inhale their sweet and sometimes infuriating selves for a couple of hours. Because sometimes Love tries to drown you, and without that air? Love turns to irritation... and yapping and snapping.

Somethings are so important to us as humans, like time out to think and reflect and write or daydream or whatever... so important that you allow love to stay on hold for a few minutes. Not even love can stop this want for space.
Moments where i want to be away from everything and forget them for a minute or two... I know they feel the same way too, sometimes i see it in their faces when i try to kiss them and act goofy with them, I'm just not funny in those moments, they would rather be alone than deal with the excess of love i splash on them.

And so it is in life, with all the love we have for our own, be it a spouse or a child or music or whatever, normal is us wanting to sometimes run away, to have breathing space, away from their bickering, away from the reports of who did what and not, away from the questions, away from the hugs and just away before we go crazy....

"Can a mother forget the infant at her breast, walk away from the baby she bore? But even if mothers forget, I'd never forget you-never. Look, I've written your names on the backs of my hands." Isaiah 49:15-16
Even a mother of a new born babe sometimes wants her space, she wants to just hand the baby over and check in to some spa or hotel to forget it all, to inhale lavender, cherry blossoms et co, have time to herself, drown out the noise of all the demand love makes on her... even the most loving mother cherishes the moments they can forget their children for a few hours sometimes.

But God doesn't.
Not ever, not even for a second, he'll never abandon us, even in the midst of our whining and complaining and demands and bugging and it all, he stays by our side, patient and filled with love, that is all sufficient, that is so powerful it doesn't need that breath of fresh air to survive... he never ever gets tired of us, he's just so great... he's just so kind, so sweet.
I mean, you can't say a guy loves you more than enough that he gives you undivided attention 24/7, theres always that moment when the game is on and you're nothing but an irritant when you keep yapping on and on about unimportant stuff and he wants to run from you(even when he says it's okay)... why he would rather watch the game at some bar with the mates. Or when he's working on this really huge deal he needs to close and there you are asking if you look fat in your jeans... Major reason for that fresh air.

But God is so different.
Its so amazing when he says “....I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5 there's this statement so simple and filled with honesty, but the simplicity of it all makes it easy to ignore.
There you are, crying and saying this desperate prayer about some silly dress you need to wear for some event and how you think you look fat in it or about this pimple that's appeared on your nose and he's listening, paying attention not loosing focus on you for one minute while same time he gives as much attention to a person dying of cancer and crying for help... nothing is more important than our silliest rant to him. There he is, listening, caring, laughing at our silly jokes, stroking out head, kissing us when we lay down to sleep drenched in worry... he's there on our worst days, not once thinking he needs a break from our craziness.

I've come to realize that when we feel like he's far from us, or he's really forsaken us contrary to his word, we need to check ourselves, because he doesn't lie, he's true to his word... thus we are the ones doing the leaving, we are the ones doing the forsaking, because we get distracted easily by the things of the world. But the best thing about this is he's there waiting for us... you want the attention, then you stick with him, get your shoe lace tangled with his, so when the issues of life tries to drift you away, you get yanked back. Funny how i sing this song by pussycat dolls to him... but it just breaks down all I'm trying to say "Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick with you forever. Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick with you. You know how to appreciate me. I must stick with you, my baby. Nobody ever made me feel this way. I must stick with you."

I might be goofy sometimes, and annoying, and people might want to take a break from me... but that don't matter, because I've got a love that is constant through pms and blonde chic moments, through local champ modes and diva sessions...
There really is no greater love. His love for us goes beyond what we can ever understand as humans, because its just not human never to come up to the surface for fresh air when swimming in love... He's never needed a break from us, no matter how messed up, spoilt, stubborn and selfish we are sometimes... the beauty of the fathers love is out of this world... stick with him and enjoy it.

Paul was saying...

2011-09-01T00:50:00.002+01:00

What happened was this: People knew God perfectly well, but when they didn't treat him like God, refusing to worship him, they trivialized themselves into silliness and confusion so that there was neither sense nor direction left in their lives. They pretended to know it all, but were illiterate regarding life. They traded the glory of God who holds the whole world in his hands for cheap figurines you can buy at any roadside stand.

So God abandoned them to do whatever shameful things their hearts desired. As a result, they did vile and degrading things with each others bodies. They traded the truth about God for a lie. So they worshiped and served the things God created instead of the Creator himself(i.e money,material things,fame), who is worthy of eternal praise! Amen.
That is why God abandoned them to their shameful desires. Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved.(emptiness, diseases et co)

Since they thought it foolish to acknowledge God, he abandoned them to their foolish thinking and let them do things that should never be done. Their lives became full of every kind of wickedness, sin, greed, hate, envy, murder, quarreling, deception, malicious behavior, and gossip. They are backstabbers, haters of God, insolent, proud, and boastful. They invent new ways of sinning, and they disobey their parents. They refuse to understand, break their promises, are heartless, and have no mercy. And it's not as if they don't know better. They know perfectly well they're spitting in God's face. And they don't care-worse, they hand out prizes to those who do the worst things best!
Romans 1:21-32(A combination of the nlt and the message and emphasis from me)

I read this and i was like, wow, this is us... this generation. Paul wrote this according to the records in AD 56, and here we are today... feels like he's just picked up another magazine, or seen another movie or walked the street and come home in despair to write this on his blog in 2011.

And one of the wisest men to ever live wrote in Ecclesiastes 1:9(nlt) "History merely repeats itself. It has all been done before. Nothing under the sun is truly new" So as appalling as the behavior of people seem to get with each new day, it really isn't new, its been done before, every single thing...
and this scripture has transcended cultures and countries and time, it's speaking to us again, trying to wake us up.....
*sigh* We'll keep praying for grace, for mercy, for love to endure long enough for us realize whats been handed to us and to appreciate it and wake up from the deadly slumber of death.
I've got little girls... well kid sisters of friends on my twitter timeline and my gosh, the things they say, my heart breaks for them, i was discussing with a friend a week ago and he said the social network has made people animals(well not his words) i told him, there's always been ravaging animals in people, the social network just gave them the guts and a platform to release all thats been wanting to breath in them all these years.

You don't have to be vulgar to be popular, you don't have to be nude to be heard... now loads of stuff are accepted as the norm, you're more likely to get a raised eyebrow over a person going for a night vigil(actual vigil, not the excuse to attend a party sort) than at a girl who has a sex tape out. And the more you 'score' the more you're hailed and popular and loved just like Paul said. We've so glamorized sin, even the law embraces it.
I got to listen to some songs i joyfully sang some years ago and i cringed when i heard the lyrics with a renewed mind... what were/are we dancing too? music videos have to be pornish to get peoples attention. What are your children singing? was at the salon and a girl of about ten was singing lil Wayne's lollipop from the start of the video to the end and her mother just sat and watched her... like seriously?

I don't think now is the time for me to get tired or shy away from speaking out... We're running out of time.

"Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can’t you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?" Romans 2:4(NLV)

Lets quit taking his grace for granted.

Treason

2011-08-29T00:13:00.000+01:00

Doubt is a traitor, a betrayal of the trust you’ve put in yourself. It is an enemy of the mind, an enemy of who you are. The greatest act of treason against yourself.

It seats in on the confidential meetings of the mind, and is in on the process of drafting ideas, it watches as the security system of courage and faith is put in place, and then it strikes when you're ready to execute, it comes from where you least expect, and it hits hard, because it knows where every loop hole is located. Just when you’re ready to execute this great thing, it sells you out to fear…treason.

Telling you that you can't do it after letting you dream it, just at the last minute you discover your security has been breached. Doubt seats there with a smirk on his face, threatening you with all sorts of consequences if you dare chase that dream... and you almost give up, because you're sure he knows what he's saying, he makes sense, you're more angry at yourself for believing you could do it, than with doubt for selling you out.

But sometimes, you've got to take that last bit of courage doubt couldn't get to and tackle doubt, take it to court to be tried, because every act of treason must be tried when uncovered. You’ve got to be tough enough to seat through a trial, because if you agree to settle out of court, you loose out on a whole lot of stuff, a whole lot of possibilities that stays in the land of woulda, coulda shoulda.Go to court, seat in the witness box where the King seats as judge and challenge it, bring out all the documents, win and clear all doubts out of yourself, hound doubt with all the facts of what you believe, with what the word says you can do 'i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me' till it pleads guilty and gets the sentence it deserves... Death. Death to doubt... walk away with courage, courage restored to you from the hands of the king himself.

"Choose the belief that push you relentlessly forward, not the ones that hold you back". Ralph marshon.