who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Thursday, January 12, 2017

Looking Back...

 Sometimes, we dwell in the midst of things that are harmful to us… but we are sort of blended in that as much as we know it’s wrong, we dwell still because of the  “there’s nothing I can do about it… this is where I belong” mentality.
As wrong as it is, and as right as you are in all that wrong, the solution isn’t to sit put. God will literally drag us out of that situation especially after he has sent the signs to show us that we ought to be out of there and we pay no heed.
Lets say a relationship that feels right, but then there’s the cheating and the lying and the abuse, the subtle hints sent to get you moving on, but you sit pretty being right in the wrong… when you ignore all the signs, the next step will be to drag you away from the midst of all that one way or the other.

When Lot still hesitated, the angels seized his hand and the hands of his wife and two daughters and rushed them to safety outside the city, for the lord was merciful. When they were safely out of the city, one of the angels ordered, “Run for your lives! And don’t look back or stop anywhere in the valley! Escape to the mountains, or you will be swept away!”………
But Lot’s wife looked back as she was following behind him, and she turned into a pillar of salt. (Genesis 19:16-17, 26)

Lot was literally dragged out from the midst of all the wrong they were rightly dwelling in in Sodom by the angels of God and specific instructions were given, “don’t look back” but someone did… lots wife. There’s really nothing to look back to when you’ve been delivered from something… you remember sometimes, but looking back takes you back in your mind and causes a jolt of nostalgia that can get you crawling back to your vomit… to the destructions God saved you from.
When you remember, please don’t look back.
You see, looking back leaves you stagnant and rooted in that wrong that will eventually destroy you.
We wonder why Lots wife looked back, there are so many theories about that. But lets look at it with the eyes of today’s world.
Lot was a wealthy man in Sodom. A man with lots of properties who was dragged away from it all, so that means he didn’t have time to grab a bag, hardly any time to arrange for the Ferrari and Rolls Royce and Ranges and Maserati to be sent out of town, not even the choppers and private planes could be arranged for evacuation, or the original rare oil paintings, his horses, the best polo ponies to be found in the area.
Imagine leaving behind so many things that don’t matter when it comes to life and death situations but are obviously valuable…  all the time, wisdom and resources invested.
Lot may have been brave enough to let go, but his wife looked back at the lovely house she just finished redecorating, with furniture she imported from all over Europe... the antique pieces she sourced from auction houses for the rooms… The diamonds that sat pretty in her safe boxes… the out of the world wardrobe that was talked about in the whole town, because of the exquisite pieces she had stocked up; shoes, bags and couture outfits. The childhood pictures of her daughters… her beautiful gardens and all the plans for the best party ever she would never get to throw and show off her new furniture.
Legit reasons to look back.

Maybe you’re looking back because… well you know you did some unethical things on the job, but look at the commissions you got. The perks, the security of having a job. Well maybe your boss looks like a scene from hell, and you hated what you had to do sometimes to grab those deals…  but all the right you had in the midst of all that wrong made the sting of the unbearable a little better to bear.
Maybe you’re looking back, because he’s so fine… you looked so good together, how can you leave all that? In the midst of the cheating and the abuse, he was funny and sometimes he smiled real good at you and gave you nice things… how can you leave all that behind… when there were right moments in the midst of all that wrong? Are you really willing to leave that all behind? To be called a divorcee? Maybe the bruises aren’t so bad…

Looking back gives you a sense of longing for what was, It pulls you back to the thing you should be moving away from… it makes you feel like you’ve experienced a loss and clouds your mind, covers the beauty of the future, makes you wonder if the uncertainty is worth the trouble. The future is unfamiliar, thus you look at the familiar past with all the wrongs and your clouded mind only sees the right in the midst of that wrong, and that pinch of right in your vulnerable state of mind is enough to pale all the wrong.  Remember, God wouldn’t take you out of something, if He hasn’t prepared to bring you into something even better… something more than you have left behind.
“Forget about what’s happened;
don’t keep going over old history.
Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new.
It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it? Isaiah 43:18-19a(MSG)
You may have made loads of mistakes in the past... minute, year or week. Don't look back dwelling on it... even that too can suck you in. Get over your mistakes and move on in Gods grace and love. God loves you and isn't holding it against you, why turn into a pillar of condemnation over something that has become nothing by the cleansing blood of Jesus.  You fell, get up and move on.(Proverbs 24:16)

The last year and years are gone.
On the other hand, maybe it wasn’t a bad yesterday/year/job, and there were lots of rights and so little wrongs from what you’ve been called out from. Maybe the job you feel led to leave isn’t the kind with wrongs and a sprinkle of right but so many rights with just a speck of wrong… move on. Don’t stay put dwelling on one victory that you lose focus on the future. Yes you had a good year, but there’s so much more to come… so much more, and its crazy to camp around that victory, to camp around how good a year it was that you don’t move on to the glory of the coming. Move on. Don’t look back and turn into a pile of salt, stuck on the past. Have you heard people tell stories of something great they did years ago? Its good to reminisce, but the problem with these people is they’ve turned into a pile of salt, because there’s been no more achievement after that great one in 1900’s, all they do is talk about it because they failed to move beyond that victory to do more, live past it to get even more victories in the future.

I’ve had some great moments in my life, and you know, I always wonder why the high doesn’t last beyond the moment, why I feel dissatisfied almost immediately, while others are still celebrating me, I feel restless, I realized I feel that way because there is more, I could chose to remain rooted in that little victory, a local champion of that moment for the rest of my life, or I could move on and achieve more and be more. Leave the past with all the victories, defeats and mistakes and move into the future as unclear as it is, and conquer more dreams and more glory. The word of God says, our paths are like the morning sun, shining brighter and brighter till its full day(Proverbs 4:18)… meaning, it’s one victory unto another one… and it’s always bigger than the last, even if looks smaller.

Like Lot, ask for grace to resist the gravity pulling you towards looking back to the past and getting stuck on it…

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