Let the Mango Ripen...

I’m not sure anyone gets as excited as I do when its mango season… YAyyy!!!

They’ve got a variety of mangoes in Benue(they don’t call them food basket of the nation for nothing)… I have no idea what their true ‘biological’ names are but in these parts, mangoes share names with humans ‘Julie, Peter, John, Brooklyn, Alphonsos. There’s Kerosene mango and a couple of others I just love to eat.

source

 In March, the trees are heavily pregnant with green mangoes, and I can’t wait for the rains to turn them yellow and give me the pleasure I so much desire. The green mangoes doesn’t stop some people though, those eager to make money, spend time and energy using sticks to bring them to the ground, and then they proceed in boiling the mangoes to ripen them for sale… It isn't safe buying mangoes at these time, you're left with a sour taste in your mouth and a tummy ache for days. We’ve got mango trees in my house, and i get pissed off whenever i see any of the staff plucking the unripe mangoes… why wouldn't they just let the poor things ripen and enjoy it like it’s meant to be. If i can wait, anyone else should be able to.

There is no satisfaction in eating green mangoes for me.

Then comes the first rains, and more rain and yayy, the mangoes hanging turns yellow, no one is struggling to pluck anymore, they just dropped, and everywhere you turn, mango sellers have genuine ripe mangoes you can comfortably buy knowing you’re not being deceived. Even when they don't drop, it's easier to get them down from the trees when they're ripe.

I was in my room early one morning and I heard thudding sounds, I peeked out of my window and smiled at the sight, the mangoes the staff struggled to pluck weeks earlier were dropping with no prompting. Yellow succulent looking mangoes covered the ground. All we had to do was bend down and pick them up into buckets. No stress, no wahala, and i mused at the wonders of God.

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven..." Ecclesiastes 3:1

No one understands the way God works… But we know He works in times and seasons. When we force a thing to happen before its season, we don’t enjoy the fullness of it, we miss out on a lot, we have a sour taste in our mouth and our teeth is set on edge. We labor for it, and end up not getting the best, because we refuse to wait for the right time.

Everyone has a time and season for certain things… you can’t rush God; you can’t demand to produce mango fruits of your life during the harmathan season, before the rains. The mango tree looks idle as we all drive pass it or relax under it for shade from the sun in the harmathan season, but inside, deep within it, it’s working, preparing, putting things in shape for it’s season of greatness and productivity. I love this quote "A man is not idle because he is absorbed in thought. There is a visible labor and there is an invisible labor." Victor Hugo

As humans, just because we don’t see a person blossoming and doing well in his business doesn’t mean he’s lazy and clueless or a write off. The fact that he is not in season doesn’t mean he’s useless… the fact that there’s a delay in living your dream doesn’t mean you’re expected to seat lazing around. Get at the invisible labor, ignore the voice of judgment from those around, educate yourself, build yourself up in areas related to your dreams, focus on positivity, make yourself ready for the day when your fruit is visible and ripe enough to start falling off without struggle.

Our struggle is in waiting for the appointment we have with destiny. God is a God of order, doing everything by appointment. In spite of temporary circumstances, God has a preset time of deliverance and blessings. TD Jakes

Prepare yourself for your season while you wait... No one cuts down a mango tree because it is out of season. Don't bring your life to a halt because you don't see immediate results. There's a season, and who knows, it may just be around the corner for you.

At low times, prepare yourself for your harvest and refuse to skip God’s time table. There's a reason he makes things happen in seasons... to ensure we prepare ourselves well enough for what we are called out to do. 

Let The Music Play On... Victorious!!!

I was having a nap this afternoon and the words to the song 'Victorious' kept resounding in my head. I haven't listened to this song in ages. I was excited to hear it again, knowing it was a timely word for me. I played it over and over again and the lyrics jumped at me and encouraged me and got me all emotional... I pray the words of the song blesses you too.



I feel a certain Spirit stirring up in me
And when it comes I’m being all that I can be...yeah
I’m rising up above my fears and challenges
The Comforter is sparking up my abilities...yeah

No matter what they say
Laugh and jab and criticize
They may ridicule me
Can’t deny this feeling and yes
I know the truth will stay
I know my faith won’t fail
The day will come to show what’s already done
Then the world will know that I’m...

Victorious
I won with Jesus
Trials. battles
Only for a short season
Victorious
I won with Jesus  
Because of you oh risen Christ
Be it in life or death I live in victory

Victorious

If you’re a Soldier of Christ come follow me sing

No...Can’t hold me down
No chain strong enough to keep me locked down 
My faith is the key to my elevation
Moving on to the light of my destination

The storm may come with rage
Tempest of pain and persecution
Tired, weary like my feet will fail me
Faith stretched to its elasticity
My soul no don’t you fear
Cos I can do all things
Through Christ who strengthens me

Victorious... etc

Onward Christian soldier marching as to war

And I know one day with arms stretched out
We’ll go through walls and glasses
Roofs and cars and graves
And feel no pain... (no pain)
 
And the shouts of the world would be heard below
With the winds in our faces. from all races
Feeling the thrill of height and space
Transformed as we meet with you

Oh Jesus!

In the air
in the beauty of eternity
Sights sounds and feelings
More beautiful than anything we’ve ever felt

Oh Jesus!

Strengthen me in this world
I need more grace...

Jesus!

Strengthen me in service
Till I see you face to face...

Victorious

These words!!!!! We are victorious indeed...

Children's Day...

It's Children's day today.
Don't you just miss the days of childhood? Days when the only anger and frustration felt on the regular was the sound of an adult's call to come home and shower just as the sun was going down, or the fact that you had to be dragged to bed at 9pm.
Of course growing up frees you from that, no one calls you to come home at sun down, telling you you’ve had enough and it's time for dinner. But then you miss the sound of an adult screaming at you to come inside and take a shower. Oh, how you want that shower, except you’re still at work way after the sun’s kissed the sky goodnight, and all you can munch on is some left over cookie and sip on stale coffee or hot la casera, and wish for a bath and your bed, because you don’t want to stay up late anymore. It felt much better when you played pretend office.
It feels like you’re drowning, no one to stop you as you keep going down down down...

I was going through my photo library and found some pictures a couple of friends and i took at the beach about three years ago...
It was a fun day... a few of us chose to go down memory lane and so we played 'suwe' (Nigerian version of hopstoch) and 'ten ten'.
I huffed and puffed after jumping around and had to take something to calm me down, but it was the best feeling ever....
Do children still play the good old games? It's now about Wii, Harry potter, Nintendo Ds, Blackberry et co.

“Hasn’t anyone noticed that there are no chalk marks on the sidewalks? Hasn’t anyone noticed that there are no hula-hoops being sold? What has happened to the pitter-patter of little feet? Where are the little girls with shy quaint attitudes, adorned with the bobby socks and berets? Why are the girls who once were riding tricycles now pushing baby carriages? We have lost the sound of childhood” T.D Jakes

my sis and i prepping for 'suwe'

suwe...

the certified 'woman wrapper' in the house

ten ten, i lost but who cares? :)

How uncomplicated it was, building sandcastles so carefully, and gleefully moving on despite the sadness you felt when some naughty boy kicked it down. You soon forgot about it and found a new game after the first few tears. But now? You build your world with so much care and one person comes and kicks it down, you don’t gleefully move on, your world is as shattered as that castle. It takes more than ice cream and a few tears to distract you… It takes more than a new pair of shoes to make you smile and move on and start rebuilding. It takes weeks of therapy and moving to a new town, changing your number and undergoing brain surgery to forget the pain :p

It gets all complicated when that tag  of adulthood is placed/stamped around your neck, on your head and all over your body... But thank God for grace to carry us through the rude awakening of adulthood, or else some of us would have crumbled.

God bless the children... If only they would realize how blessed they are and stop trying to grow up too fast.

Just Move...

Sometimes, I am at a loss when it comes to directions… does it happen to you? It always happens, especially when I need to get to Stop Center in VI (i had my issues with Jevnik too, but that's sorted.) I know where it is; it’s off Bishop Oluwole street, but I can’t for the life of me tell you what turn it is… first, second or third. I also know I can access it from Saka Tinubu after some maneuvering. If asked for directions on how to get there, I would give a blank stare.

But it’s amazing how I get into the car and drive to stop centre even without knowing my way. I just drive to the familiar street of Bishop Oluwole, a little clueless but sort of knowing. My instinct tells me to turn and I end up turning at the right street and getting there without the trouble i envisioned from home. It always works that way. I know I need what the shop offers, and the fact that I can’t get a vivid route in my head doesn’t stop me from setting out, because i don't want to settle for less.

How many times have we had dreams and ideas so big within us, that we almost burst with excitement? We know what we want, we see the end result, but getting there is a bit of a complicated issue, because we’re not sure how exactly we’re going to arrive at that place. We tell people where we’re going to, and we can’t give them a clear picture, how we intend to get there… no laid out business plan. Thus they've got that "you're crazy" look on their faces. That shouldn’t be a reason to sit at home, settle for less or forfeit your dreams. We’ve got to get into the car and just drive in the direction of our dreams, drive to the familiar street and know that we would get there… as long as we hold on to our faith in God, the Spirit of God will lead us there, He would be the instinct that gets us to turn at the right place, if we choose to listen…

For it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure. Philippians 2:13

i.e You want to write a book someday, you’re not sure how or what it’ll be about, but you feel it deep within… Start a blog, get into the writing vehicle and drive to the familiar street of writing for your audience of 10 or 1, you’ll get the break you need just at the right time if you’re steadfast.  

Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track. Don't assume that you know it all. Run to God! Proverbs 3:5-7(the message)

Don't sit home because you don't have a clear picture of where the road to your dream lies... Remember you can't be wise on your own human quota, get into the car of determination and drive towards your dreams in faith... you'll get to your destination of resting in your purpose, because God is on the throne, and He has equipped you for the journey, even when you feel you're traveling blindly.( A man's gift maketh room for him, and bringeth him before great men... Proverbs 18:16) Get up and move... 

i.e Joesph had a dream, he had a clear picture of his glorious future, but had no idea how he was going to get there.He was ridiculed by his brothers. He was sold into slavery. But he didn't just seat down in bitterness, he moved, and his gift caused him to be favored and put incharge of Potiphars house. Even after he was thrown in jail, he still drove on with his gifts, by displaying qualities of a true leader and interpreting dreams to the prisoners... that's what eventually brought him to the turn that led him to Pharaoh and to the fulfillment of his purpose, the destination his dreams showed him. Nothing is impossible, if you can dream it, then you can get it.

"Growing into your dreams is worth more than forcing your way into it. No one looks appealing with an oversized or undersized dress. You have the desire in you, it’s your choice and responsibility to work out and shape yourselves into the garment of your passion."

It's the little steps you take that leads you to the bigger picture. Just move....

The Joy The Foolish Enjoy...

The message of the Cross to those who reject it is...

Foolishness
Insanity
Nonsense
Folly

To those who embrace it, the cross is the Very Power of God... It is

Hope
Peace
Joy
Love
Forgiveness
Grace
Kindness
Transformation 

I can't explain it, you can only feel it. It's beyond pretense... it is so real. How do you explain a sudden change of heart and behavior? A certain passion for something so 'foolish'?
How can i explain in words that make sense?
The gospel is indeed foolishness, but what do we call the senselessness of continuously going for an exhibition if you're not interested in buying the product? Just to make the artist feel he's got your support even though you think his work sucks(you know you've got to keep him in your circle of friends just incase). You can't understand why there's such a buzz and rave reviews about his work. All the crazy people from his psychiatrist must have been pressured to support him. Why mock God? he really doesn't need our cheering if we're doing it only on Sundays,( and just to have him in our friend list because you never know when you need to call on him )... To make an appearance while we mock those who really appreciate his work.

"The Message that points to Christ on the Cross seems like sheer silliness to those hellbent on destruction, but for those on the way of salvation it makes perfect sense. This is the way God works, and most powerfully as it turns out. It's written,
I'll turn conventional wisdom on its head, I'll expose so-called experts as crackpots. So where can you find someone truly wise, truly educated, truly intelligent in this day and age? Hasn't God exposed it all as pretentious nonsense? Since the world in all its fancy wisdom never had a clue when it came to knowing God, God in his wisdom took delight in using what the world considered dumb—preaching, of all things!—to bring those who trust him into the way of salvation." 1 Corin 1:18-21 (Msg)

I pray we snap out of our Wisdom soon enough...

Subscribe to the foolishness of the gospel and disconnect ourselves from the worldly wisdom. Then and then alone can we understand the meaning of Salvation and Love like it is meant to be. Then and then alone can we walk away from the things we thought we could never live without and be a 'church boy/girl' like the foolish people down the street without even trying. A fool for God is wiser than the wisest in the world. The foolish are a joyful lot.

Just How Well Is It?...

It is well…

But just how well is it? When your heart is grieved, when you don’t know how your answer would come, when for just a minute you let yourself be the human that you are and panic, throwing aside Gods assurance that when you hold on to him, you ought not to fear even in the deepest valley…

Just how well is it?

The fact that you don’t know how loosing out on a deal can prompt you to think it is well, doesn’t mean it isn’t.

Thus I can say, it is well with my soul even when I have no idea how. That’s what faith does… it makes you believe even when you’re clueless. It gives you a faint glimpse of hope that gets clearer and clearer as you claim your Fathers will and trust Him that even in the pit He is still God.

That’s why the message of the gospel is foolishness. You can’t be logical and trusting at the same time. With God, you drop all your logic and perceived wisdom before you enter his throne room… With Him, you take the stance of a fool, because really, in God's eyes, we are most foolish in our wisest moments. His ways are not our ways, not even close…

Why should you say “it is well with me” even when you don’t feel like it? Because it is indeed. For the bible says "Thou shalt also decree a thing, and it shall be established unto thee..."Job 22:28 Saying the words doesn’t deny the situation, but it’s a declaration, a stand against your problems, a step in faith, that despite the pain, the sun will come out, and you’ll be fine. 

"The sun'll come out tomorrow,
Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow
There'll be sun!" Annie

I Got Tagged ... 11

I got tagged by The Relentless Builder and Toinicious.

The Rules

1.  Post rules
2.  Post 11 random things about yourself
3.  Answer questions posted by the person who tagged you
4.  Create 11 questions and tag 11 people to answer your questions
5.  Notify those tagged of the game
6.  Notify the person who tagged you after you have answered the questions
7.  No tag backs

11 Randoms... 

1. I am a book freak. My favorite bookshop is kinokuniya in Dubai… it is the biggest bookstore I’ve ever been to. I daydream about that wonderland.
2. I always have a note pad with me… always.
3. I am a mango freak. Between mango and chocolate, I’d pick mango.
4. Night time is my rise time… the juices flow and I tend to process thoughts well in the AM's.
5.  I love to pamper myself... I never miss an opportunity to go all out at the spa. If i don't do me good, i can't expect anyone else to treat me that way. I do me good, you do me better and life's sweet.
6. I love Shirley Temple... I can't seem to accept that she became an adult... I am sad, she should have remained sweet little Shirley all her days.
7. I have been different sizes in my short life… I have been a size 14 and I am currently a size 8. Don’t ask.(But I'll still explain sha) We have unique body experiences in my family, my mum, aunts and my sisters have gone through the same(it's kind of cool though). People who knew me seven years ago still ask what I did to loose the weight, I’m tired of telling them how unique my family genes are… if I was allowed to lie, I’d make concoctions and sell to them and get rich off those who hound me. If they complain it doesn’t work, I’ll tell them to drink their urine or mine for an immediate result… and if they still complain, I’ll tell them “it’s probably my genes" like I've been trying to tell them since forever.

 

8. I’m looking forward to skydiving… I don’t know how I’ll stomach it, but I know I would put up a nice post telling you about my experience…. It may be one or ten years from now, but it’s got to be done. 
9. In my head, C.S Lewis and I are best friends. We dine and share ideas... he thinks i'm brilliant. I think he's brilliant too. We're birds of a feather :p
10.  I love Polo... Thanks to watching princess daisy and pretty woman back in the day. I want to learn how to ride, and maybe just maybe be able to stick and ball (i don't have the stamina for the actual game)
11.  I have pranced around poolsides but i can't swim... that's something i hope to conquer soon. I must make good use of the beach and hotel pools at my honeymoon :|

11 Answers to Toinicious Questions

1.      What’s the one question you would ask God if you could?
  Why he loves us so much.

2.      What is your most embarrassing moment?
Lets see... has your car ever stopped on Ozumba Mbadiwe during rush hour? Back when the road was under construction, just in front of 1004, the car decided to call it quits… apparently the fuel gauge wasn’t functioning well and the fuel tank was empty. Luckily my Brother-in-law saved my sister and i from that show of shame. I'm sure there have been moments, i just can't seem to think one up.

3.      If you could change one thing in the world right now, what would it be?
  The way leaders are chosen (Politics)

4.      If you could say one thing to the current pope, what would you say?
  Howdy big poppa. I kid… no idea.

5.      What’s the one thing you wish you could "Un-invent" in d world and why?
  Lace front wigs... Seriously, you need me to give a reason?
  
6.  What’s the most terrifying moment of your life?
Oh, i've had terrifying moments, but lets just say i wouldn't be going on a roller coaster anytime soon..

7.   If you were to be recognised by posterity for one thing, what would you like to be known for?
Now that's real food for thought...

8.   What colour best describes you? 

 Purple.

9.  If you could commit one crime without being caught, what crime would you commit? 

Sealed lips. Anything you say on blogville can be used against you.

 10.  If you had to name one lesson of love that took you the longest you learn, what would it be & why?
Love is patient and selfless and covers a multitude of sins(i'm allowed more than one right?)

 11.    If you could be guaranteed one thing besides money, what would you want?
  Joy... pure unadulterated Joy.

11 questions from Relentless...

1. Would you describe yourself as fashion-conscious?

Ehhhh… I’m conscious when I dress up… does that count?

2. Name one song you can never forget and why 

Graduation Song by Vitamin C... we sang it on the eve of our graduation from secondary school. We hugged each other and shed a few tears.

   

3. What physical feature would you like to change?

I’m not lying if I say nothing… I love me so much, even though sometimes my arms make me feel like I can fly(on some christian mother P)… at least that means I am a beautiful human bird right? So no, I wouldn’t change anything. Thankful for the way I am… Bruno Mars wouldn't have to convince me that I’m amazing just the way I am.

4. Three words that other people use to describe you 

No idea…. I’ll have to make some calls.

5. Three words that you use to describe yourself 

Scratches head.... ermmm Don't know... I am simply the girl Jesus loves... every other thing is secondary :)

6. Pen (Biro) or pencil? Which do you prefer, and why?

I love pens, the way they run across the paper… Pencils suck.

7. Do you have a favorite fragrance (perfume, body spray, etc).  If yes, what is it called? 

I've got three favorites... Chanel Chance, Gucci Guilty and Nicole Farhi Femme.

     8.  What are your pet peeves (Name three at most) 

Ermmm... the "hey, I can swear and i can curse at God, it makes me look cool" Kind of people, Sycophants, Can't take no for an answer aka "I'm handsome and i know it" aka Johnny Bravo syndrome...

  

     9.  Do you like children? Why or why not? 

 I love children… I can't even begin to express myself.

    10. What's the name of the last book you read? 

Sins of the Father by Jeffrey Archer/The Prince: Jonathan(Sons of Encouragement) by Francine Rivers(Not so sure which i finished first)

  

   11.  What's the name of your favorite author? 

I've got loads, but i guess Francine Rivers comes top.
 

Now that i've done this i can breath easy... I'll break the rule this time, i wouldn't be tagging anyone.

P.S
Fantasy Queen is now Faith Queen, Fq for short... yayyy (long story, but will explain later)

Cramps...

I am a super woman when it comes to pain… my strength often overshadows the pain. That’s why I can stay without taking drugs daily for the intense pain that almost keeps me in bed most mornings, or I can do without a pain killer for a headache… or I have to be chased round in circles to take malaria drugs (for the most part, I hate taking drugs.)

But there is one pain that shows me who’s boss… Cramps!

When the pain comes, all sense of reasoning is thrashed. I overdose on drugs, and most times I’m in a hazy state of high from the drugs. Life around me is stalled and all i want to do is step away from my body... away from the pain.

My hair is disheveled and I really don’t care who sees me, all that matters when i curl up and moan in pain is my tummy… That’s one moment in my life that I dare to query God. I tell him to take the pain, and when it still hurts, I dare to think that he doesn’t love me enough. That’s one pain that humbles me, that drives me to overdose on drugs even before I begin to feel it. The pain killers don't always work immediately, but i am comforted even in my pain that because i have dared to take them, sometime soon, the pain would have to bow out to the effect of the drugs.

source

God wouldn’t force himself on us like no one forces drugs on me. When God is done calling us in the subtle way, he relaxes and allows the cramps to come. He has sent cramp like attacks on some of us. He has broken our defenses in such a way that we ran back to him even before he could call us again. He humbled us and made us realize how much we need him by the effect of the cramp.

We grab at him with all our might when we’ve been hit so bad. We find ourselves in a state of emptiness and brokenness, that our only hope is in God. He uses the cramps of life to nudge us back to him. It’d be foolish of me to resist taking painkillers because I hate drugs, and i have a hot water bottle, I’d pass out from the pain I’m sure.

When he’s tired of the soft taps and the gentle whispers to do the right thing, he just relaxes and lets the cramps come. We make the choice ourselves, to choose him over the pain, to have him in the picture while going through the pain rather than not, because with him we have hope that we would face life better and the pain would soon be over.

Sometimes, i can't help but thank him for the cramps( well, not the physical one, i still give him the silent treatment when that one comes). Without the moments that bowed us over, we would never have run into the comfort of his arms to know him as the faithful and true God that he is.

A Very Very Thin Line....

So how do you know when you’ve crossed the line between two extremes? We know just how thin the line is, but do we know just how close we are to crossing over or how close is the other person's brain to crossing over with wrong interpretations? 

We unknowingly cross over to the other side by oversubscribing to the good side. You know, just a little more spice to sweeten the food and you find yourself with a hot mess pot of stew…

There's a very thin line between....

• Salvation and Religion
• Loving and appreciating self and Vanity
• Sharing info and Gossip
• Friendly and Flirty
• Ambition and Greed
• Being caring and being overbearing
• Rest and Laziness
• Desperateness and Craziness
• Friends and Enemies
• Discipline and Abuse
• Advice and Judging
• Genuine concern and Intruding 
• Being sweet and being silly/mumu/mugu
• Speaking the truth and 'hating on'(shout out to all those who claim to have haters :p)
• Fear and Stupidity
• Funny and Annoying
• Getting in touch with your feminine side and being a sissy
• Diligently kissing endless frogs to find your prince and the tag 'slut princess'
• A smile accompanied by a hello and 'Toasting'/Chatting up
• A nice compliment and 'Toasting'/Chatting up
• Cowardice and Bravery
• "Just kidding" and the painful truth
• Wisdom and Foolishness
• Comments on blogs/twitter and Mental asylums
• Johnny Bravo and that boy that was on my bbm list...
• Mothers and Superheroes( i don't mind this)
• Color blocking and Stark raving mad
• Introverts and Snubs

Oh there's more... if only i could think. A very very thin line it is.
Trend with care or else you'll get served for what you're clueless about.

 

Still I Rise and I Shine...

The power of God shines forth in our ability to live and laugh after going through so much pain... How he comforts us and gives us the grace to move, even when we want to stay at that place of grief and sulk and never come out to see the sun smile again, because somehow we see it's smile as a smirk, rubbing it's brightness in our face, when it knows just how gloomy our hearts are.

But then God gives us memories to soothe us on bad days like this... just like a child is given a lollipop to make up for the doctors visit. I miss my daddy some days, some days i don't. Some days i cry, some days i shrug it off... other days I'm angry, and sometimes i laugh.
And then i see a picture... ahhh, thank God for memories.
Where would we be without them? The sweetness of a thought, it spreads through the heart and grabs at it, filling it with joy even as pain tries to take over, asking you why you never cherished those moments when you had them.

Thank God for the lens of the mind that captures the details... in that holiday, in that normal day where home was just home, everyone was still a child. Father, mother and children living life, not a thought of how there would be no daddy one day, and the little girl wouldn't be so little anymore, and there would be grandchildren and bigger dreams brought to life. They were just casual images in the mind, but now they are treasures, the ones you pull out when you need a smile, a laugh, a reason to be thankful for what you've been through.

I am thankful for my family. Life has gone on. Who but God? His spirit is truly the comforter... i can testify to that. I lost a father, but gained a mighty warrior, the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords as my Father. A father who never takes afternoon naps... He never sleeps or slumbers. I am blessed beyond measure.

I am happy, i am not held down by grief, i am strong. I am now an adult, a woman of substance, sipping from the keg of glory of the One who has stepped in to be a father to the fatherless... I am no more daddy's star baby, I am now a Star of the maker of the universe, the designer of the milky way... Shinning brighter and brighter, reflecting the goodness and love of my heavenly father as the days go by.