who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Monday, September 15, 2014

Random Blabs...


I’ve been feeling a little lazy to upload posts. Well I’ve been kind of busy, that should be a good enough excuse right?
I hardly ever sleep before 12am, it’s unheard of, but the last week saw me fagged out at 10pm, and staring blankly at my screen like I was in a drug haze.
And I ate a lot! Maybe the food made me lazy? It probably did.

When it comes to writing, I tell myself “don’t force it”. My mind is a junkyard of things to write about, I have a dozen word documents opened with drafts that need a little polishing… but I have refused to swallow laxatives for my mind to spill forth words… I’d rather just let it flow. Does it mean I’ve got writers block and I’m not just being lazy? I like to think I've got writers block, its cool to say "Oh, i've got a little writer's block" it makes me sound cool, like i'm a real writer... a creative genuise that needs to watch the ocean to unblock my mind.
(Pardon me, I'm saying whatever comes into my head)

Oh, and I got to summit my manuscript yesterday… isn’t that awesome? The book is becoming so real. I’m in labor now y’all. Its kind exhilarating… Pushing out a baby isn’t so much fun, but I’m glad I’ve got hands holding me up in prayers. A good thing no one stops the birthing process half way because they’re scared… once the pushing starts, you’ve just got to see it through till the baby comes out and snuggles in your arms. Breaking forth and crashing through the gates yo…

I’m off this week. I never travel without my laptop… but I’ve made a hard decision to leave it at home this time, and it hurts, it feels like a part of me has been yanked off… dramatic I know, but that’s how attached I am to my MacBook… at least I get to take my notebook with me. I’ll be at ‘Faith Adventure’… I’m so excited about it; it’s a weeklong program in Gboko, a town in Benue State. It’s going to be a week long of soul food and Bing eating on the word, yayyy!

Have a great week!

Friday, August 22, 2014

On Eggs and Life...


Mum hired a new cook. He had previously worked in a restaurant. I wish I could paint a picture that we had someone from an exotic restaurant come to work in our humble home… Ha! Don’t let your imaginations run wild at the mention of restaurant. My mum was relieved to get someone new.

I really didn’t care about where he was from or if he was new or not… Not until the first day he made breakfast.
I wasn’t a very happy child when I saw what breakfast was.
I was expecting regular fried eggs and bread, not soggy looking eggs with a pile of tomatoes and probably too much oil.
I had never seen egg stew/sauce before then. I only knew of the boiled, fried and scrambled variations.
When mummy came out for breakfast, I was whining, and almost in tears as I had to eat my bread without eggs “he doesn’t even know how to fry eggs” I complained.
My little girl mind couldn’t comprehend how an adult, who was supposed to be a cook, from a restaurant, had no idea how to fry eggs. Even I could fry eggs if given a chance. Why would he fry it that way? So distastefully!

Mummy didn’t really acknowledge my complaint, she probably felt sorry for me not eating well before going to school.
The cook was relieved of his job. I’m not sure it was because of the eggs though… I had to ask my mum why he was sacked, because I suddenly felt bad as I wrote this, what if he left because I said he couldn’t fry eggs? Mummy can’t remember why she asked him to go, but I can be rest assured from the look on her face that she thinks me silly for thinking she sacked a man for making yummy egg sauce.

Today? I’m the queen of egg sauce; I love it with yam, with plantain, with sweet potatoes, I even have it with bread sometimes. I love to make it. I’m sure I’ll rival that cook in an egg stew cook out! I’ve got egg stew game.

It’s funny how we often reject what we can’t understand. Because we’ve always had something or done something in a certain way doesn’t mean the next way isn’t cool enough, or even better. Add two to five and you get a seven. The same way you get a seven if you add four to three or six to one.

Don’t miss out on opportunities because they don’t present themselves in the way your mind pictured them to come. Sometimes the help you’ve been praying for comes from unlikely sources, learn to react like the little old lady in this story… 

There was a little old lady who would come out every morning on the steps of her front porch, raise her arms to the sky and shout, "Praise the Lord!"
Well, one day an atheist moved into the house next door. Over time, he became irritated at the little old lady. So every morning he would step out onto his front porch and yell after her, "There is no God!"
Time passes with the two of them carrying on this way every day. Then one morning in the middle of winter, the little old lady stepped onto her front porch and shouted, "Praise the Lord! Lord, I have no food and I am hungry. Please provide for me, oh Lord!"
The next morning she stepped onto her porch and there were two huge bags of groceries sitting there. "Praise the Lord!" she cried out. "He has provided groceries for me!" The atheist jumped out of the hedges and shouted, "There is no Lord. I bought those groceries!" The little old lady threw her arms into the air and shouted, "Praise the Lord! He has provided me with groceries and He made the devil pay for them!"

Friday, August 8, 2014

Bottom Box...


I have some beautiful outfits I’ve bought on various trips. Lovely dresses, red carpet ready, dinner party ready, high-class classy chic ready, posh wedding ready, although I’m away from the social hub of the nation, where my social light bulb glowed a little. I still bought lovely party/outing dresses, not knowing where to wear them to, but all the same, hoping I could add value to the beauty of the dresses on special occasions some day. 

Each time there was a wedding in my little town, I would bring them out and try them on and look in the mirror thinking how how pretty they look on me and then I tell myself, “I can’t waste this outfit for this wedding” or “why should I wear this really beautiful dress to church, it should shine at a big occasion” and it goes right back into my special suitcase, the pink one where I keep the really new and expensive things in.

Well, I lost some weight recently, I am not how I used to be when it comes to my size, thus I cant wear some of my lovely never-good-enough-occasion-to wear dresses anymore, the new curves of my body eludes the lines and cuts of the dresses. I dropped one size without even trying… fitfam what? I had to give out some lovely outfits with a heavy heart…

Lesson learned?
Nike says, just do it… I say Just wear it! Enjoy it! Display it! What’s the special occasion? NOW is the special occasion. Look beautiful for church, shine bright for that wedding, even if the guest consist of mostly old ladies from the village, shine in your expensive new dress anyway… Shine, shine, and shine every chance you get. Shine to the grocery store, shine to work, shine when you head out for ice cream, every moment is a special occasion worth shinning for. Dress your best, be a peacock in the crowd, you don’t know who’s watching :)

The bottom box* isn’t such a good idea sometimes(I learned the hard way), especially when it comes to life. Yes, we keep those special items, but what about the talent(s) we have? We don’t think its good enough for any of the occasions when we are given an opportunity to show the world just what special trait lies in us. The world could be just one person or your church or family, it doesn’t matter. Sometimes we look around at our best friends or the lady on TV and think how blessed she is because she’s got all these talent and dances and sings and even acts so well, and we’re quick to condemn ourselves, and move further down in our bottom box thinking what we have can’t face the world in the light of all those people out there.

What are you hiding in the bottom box of your life? What have you covered up? The fact that you love to cook, or you sing really well in your room? Or how well you dance behind closed doors? There’ll never be a right time to invest your one talent. Put it out there and sing, even if no one hears you… sing even if only one person applauds you… sing, join the choir…. Just sing! Someday the Master’s going to ride in and ask you… what did you do with that special dress I gave you? Will you tell him, there just never seemed to be a right time or special occasion to display it, with all that talent He gave the others, so you kept it within, close to your heart, your personal secret. Like the man with the one talent in the parable Jesus told. (Matthew 25:24-25 “The servant given one thousand said, ‘Master, I know you have high standards and hate careless ways, that you demand the best and make no allowances for error. I was afraid I might disappoint you, so I found a good hiding place and secured your money. Here it is, safe and sound down to the last cent.’)


It’s time to overturn your bottom box. The special occasion is now… the time to shine is now… even to an audience of one, shine your best… don’t despise the days of little beginnings or look at how multitalented your neighbor is, don’t let it determine what goes for you. Your church is too small for you to shine so bright, shine so bright anyway, that those outside would run in to see the light, the right person may be among the crowd to come in and pick you up from the midst of all that. Like my dresses don't fit anymore, don’t hide the treasure within you that you end up missing out on the gorgeousness of it at a time when it would have been so fitted.  Steve Maraboli’s sums this up right with his quote… “Cemeteries are full of unfulfilled dreams... countless echoes of 'could have' and 'should have'… countless books unwritten… countless songs unsung... I want to live my life in such a way that when my body is laid to rest, it will be a well needed rest from a life well lived, a song well sung, a book well written, opportunities well explored, and a love well expressed.”

I pray we all find a way to express the treasures buried within us… you are what the world is waiting for.

*Bottom box: Treasured attire worn only on important occasions.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

The Cab...


I called for a cab.
As I waited outside the shop, tired and wanting to be home already. I saw a sleek shiny black BMW driving towards me. I may have gone “nice car” in my head and turned my back to it, as I didn’t want to be caught staring. This sleek car slowed down and stopped right in front of me, with a very cute man, well dressed in a nice suit behind the wheels, “Joy?” he called out. Who would have thought, that was my ride!

I cautiously got into the back of the car. Not wanting to get too comfortable. The car had that wonderful new car smell. I mean the cab company has nice cars, but mostly Toyota cars and some other brands, but nothing this sleek. Some of the drivers speak good enough English as they are a mixture of Asians, middle easterners and English fellows, but none of the drivers looked like this one, or dressed like this one, or had a hint of class when they spoke like this one.
I’m used to good things, I adjust well to good things, I love good things… but when your cab or that good thing isn’t something you expect, well… you tend to walk with caution and if you’re not careful, loose out on maximizing the experience of the moment.

The cab driver asked a question, which I timidly answered, with no hint that I would be interested in more conversation… thus the default “beautiful weather today” topic of conversation wasn’t even given the chance on the ten minute drive home.
Who knows maybe that was my moment for one of those Hollywood scripts to play out. I would take the conversation with him further and bam… I’m in love with a rich heir, who was bored and decided to play the role of a cab guy for the day. Blehhh

It was weird having to pay him, and even weirder waiting for my change of a few coins, weird and awkward, because leaving the change didn’t seem like a good option either.
I never came across that car or its driver again, I’ve had a couple of drivers come regularly when I call the cab company, but that seemed to be a one off.

Sometimes we call for help and when it comes we ignore it, turn our backs to it, because it comes more glamorous than we expect it to be, and so we doubt it, and cautiously accept it, but we don’t enjoy it because we’re uncomfortable and expecting an “aha!” in our face any moment. We expect it to be said that the joke is done, just when we get comfortable in this comfort, so we rather sit pinched.

God usually gives us above what we can ever ask or think… you think its too good for you? Then it’s God! You think it could have been better? Think about it, its probably above what you asked for. You think he could have been cuter? He comes high above your hearts expectation or what you could have ever imagined. God gives us more than we can ask or think… enjoy the blessings, be thankful in every situation knowing it is more, because God’s involved!

Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams]– Ephesians 3:20(amp)  

Get into that cab and chill like a boss, legs crossed, relaxed as you wiggle your butt comfortably on the leather chair, feel good about it and enjoy the ride home.

Sunday, July 6, 2014

Thirty Minus One...


 
"But first, let me take a selfie"... Thirty minus One.
I have behavior that contradicts my belief sometimes. It doesn’t mean I don’t believe! If there was a book of Inyamu in the bible, it would be such a messed up controversial story, a not so pretty picture. But in all that mess, you’d see a beauty that shines through, the beauty of grace glittering so bright, you almost can’t stare it in the face…
The pieces of my brokenness and struggles, the pieces of pain and tears, the pieces from every fall makes a kaleidoscope of colors, my perfect imperfections are perfectly beautiful, because in all these… my feet are off the floor and I rest in the arms of Love.

Grace is my warmth, love is my cover…  grace met me where I was and refused to leave me where it found me. Grace is taking me on a journey, I’m not there yet, but we’re so far away from where I was. It’s been such a road trip of self-discovery, different from the lens of the world, under the lens of grace.

There’s so much ugliness spewed about… that’s life. But even in your struggles, your uncertainty and your sometimes-shaky faith, there’s beauty all around… like the deep breath you take… that’s a story of beauty and hope. The world is full of uncertainties, bombs and guns, girls kidnapped and living in fear… earthquakes and hurricanes, but in all these, there’s the beauty of the flower, it’s where it is, growing in beauty, because that’s the only thing it knows how to do… grow and be beautiful! Oblivious of the callousness of the earth.


I took these pictures in Hyde Park recently... Let the beauty of Grace shine through every pain.
Beauty always shines through, beauty always lives… beauty never leaves, it’s right there, in the midst of it all. Find the beauty in you and let it shine through the pain. Gods grace!

I’m thirty minus one today. I should be fidgeting about getting older and blab la bla, but I’m just here, thankful for beauty and resting in Grace.


Thirty minus one; I've known pain, I've seen struggles, but through it all, I rest in beauty.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

On Escalators And Getting Stuck





Some years ago, while in London, my sister and I met up with some friends for dinner. We had a good time, and headed home at about midnight. I got down from the escalator at the train station and turned around to see my sister stuck. Her brand new dress was getting sucked into the metal animal and there was nothing she could do about it. My instinct kicked and I rushed for the emergency stop button. Now, this was around midnight and the station was quite empty, there was no official in sight. The train was a few minutes away and we did not want to miss this one, as it was late and the next one would be even later. And so we pulled and pulled at her dress but it was stuck right there, a few other passengers came and tried to help pull it out, but it was a no gainer… the alternative was to rip the stuck part of the dress off. Someone had a knife and my sister gave a little “my new dress’ sob. We eventually didn’t have to use the knife, some guy had more strength than the others and gave it a big pull, the dress came out all tangled and ripped and stained with grease… just in time for us to catch the train.

Sometimes, we get on escalators in life dressed in our favorite things and activities, but these things hold us back, there’s a train waiting to take us to our destination, the comfort of home… which is our purpose, but we’re cut between letting go of what we have, the superficiality of it all and finding rest in purpose, … If I didn’t hit that stop button she sure would have stood there pulling and pulling while the evil thing just sucked up her dress till it stripped her… but the little it held on to was difficult to let go of.

“You can’t move forward if you are constantly looking behind you. Now is the time to leave the past behind and make room to embrace the destiny that lies ahead for you” Victoria Osteen

Is there no way we can go with the whole thing? Every inch of it, no tear, no wear? What’s holding you back from the train waiting to take you to your purpose? Being in the popular corner and the world’s idea of what being it is? I was stuck on lives escalator once myself… it was hard giving up some things. Giving up climbing up that social ladder, giving up living the IT life and air kissing the world about… giving up hanging out with the cool group and being a little too cold for comfort myself. But sometimes you have to know that the things which satisfy your flesh are temporal and only holding you back from the ultimate satisfaction of spirit, soul and body, and as much as its hard, we need to be able to let go and just rip away from that binding force holding us back, so we’re free to get on the train when it comes calling.

"Milton was right…" The choice of every lost soul can be expressed in the words "Better to reign in Hell than to serve in Heaven." There is always something they insist on keeping even at the price of misery… C.S Lewis

As the C.S Lewis quote says, are you insisting on saving/keeping the new dress /social circle/popularity/relationship even at the price of misery? Let go, don’t let the escalator strip you of all you’ve got before you realize you were better off just ripping off a piece of you and running off, than letting it get the whole of you.

‘Don’t love the world’s ways. Don’t love the world’s goods. Love of the world squeezes out love for the Father. Practically everything that goes on in the world—wanting your own way, wanting everything for yourself, wanting to appear important—has nothing to do with the Father. It just isolates you from him. The world and all its wanting, wanting, wanting is on the way out—but whoever does what God wants is set for eternity.’ 1John 2:15-17(MSG)

Friday, June 27, 2014

iNyamu's Eldorado...

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I was reading through some of my very old blog posts, when I first arrived on these streets, those still up and those I reverted to draft. It was such a feeling of nostalgia. The comments and the playful banters, I’ve met truly awesome people from blogging.

Its 7yrs this month since I started eldorado, and about 4years since it experienced a ‘Take over’ and I’m glad I let God take the reins.

“Offer unto God what He has placed in your hand. “What is in your hand” means whatever is in your care or control. This could be money, possessions, influence, talents, abilities, and more. What you withhold and retain in your hand reveals what is in your heart. Child of God, release what you hold. Your Father is waiting to use what he has placed in your hands” Lisa Beverly.

Releasing my little corner to Him has turned it into something beyond me… more than myself. It’s more than the pleasure I get from holding a pen and punching words in anything that can take words in.
There are little pointers that show me how beyond me this is…
It’s in the mail from a young man in a South Asian Islamic nation… asking me about Jesus.
It’s in the person on the verge of suicide who drops a word after reading a post that brought them back to reality, purpose and hope.
It’s in the good will I get from total strangers, the mails that come in just at the right time, and the words of encouragement from people who see more than I can see sometimes.
It’s in the discovery of self and the new found confidence, not in what I wear, or how I look… not in the number of boys that want to hang in my corner or how I can take perfect selfies…  but a confidence in the love of God so real and true that He trust me enough to use me…
It’s in the book that’s been birthed from the core of me… yes; I’m in labor right now, expect the baby soon :) and so much more.
For these and more, I’m thankful, that my little corner, the thing that gives me joy to do, is something God see as worthy enough to use for His purpose.

For everyone reading this… Thank you!

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Shout With The Lowest Of Whispers...

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***In the spirit of Throwback thursday, I'm reposting this piece I wrote a couple of years ago, with a few nips and tucks. Nigeria is our home, It's time to let our voice speak for her.

No more sitting on the side talking When you no dey do nothing... Obiora Obiwon

The lies and greed of some of our leaders make it hard for us to hear,
But the human voice is different from other sounds.
It can be heard over the noise that buries everything else.
The noise of excessive bottles of champagne popping and the crushing of chicken bones with decayed teeth in parties, and the expensive automobiles cruising on our pothole infested roads, over the cries of sick children in inadequately equipped hospitals.

The human voice can be heard over the engines of private planes and locks of safes in Swiss banks...over an educational system that can only be described as a joke.
Over the gunshots of angry and trigger hungry lawless policemen.
Even when its not shouting, even if its just a whisper, even the lowest whisper of the human voice can be heard over the greed, the evil shrieks of rigged elections, the stinky belch of over fed corrupt leaders and the money launderers.
The voice that speaks when darkness overshadows the country, and generators pollute the environment, the voice that speaks after a long day on the farm, a long day in the market place...a long day hustling with nothing to show for it. That voice stands above everything else. It is the loudest even in its whisper.
The human voice can be heard above the sound of gunshots from terrorist, and the explosions that rock our nation and sucks out life from unsuspecting victims. It can be heard above the screams of innocent girls, grabbed by cowards into thick forests that barricade them from their hope and dreams of a better life. It can be heard above the hopelessness and despair that rocks our nation as we daily wonder, when it will all end.

Don't hide your voice, don't just talk trash about your country over bottles of beer and pepper soup, say something, anything, even the faintest of your whispers will be heard.... in that prayer for change for your country that comes out as a sigh to God just before you sleep
"if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land"


Be the voice that brings the change you want, pray… just do it, it certainly wouldn’t be ignored, it definitely beats just complaining... it says something.


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I got to watch the interpreter recently, this quote by the fictional president Edmund Zuwane moved me and I decided to edit it for my use in this post...

"The gunfire around us makes It hard to hear. But the human voice is different from other sounds. It can be heard over noises that bury everything else. Even when it is not shouting. Even If it is just a whisper. Even the lowest whisper can be heard over armies, when its telling the truth.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Between the Pigs and the Christ...


I walk into the dominion theatre, home of the ‘we will rock you‘ show… in the foyer, different people from different nationalities are being served glasses of bubbly sparkly wine in flutes, we drink and wait for the doors to open… the grape fruit taste great! O, no… It’s not champagne, but hey, it sparkles.

I get a seat nearer to the stage. Skinny jeans, long hair, rock stars… light, camera, action… the band plays, they rock. The man in front of me with tattoo laden arms raises his hands up in the air (not like he just don’t care) it’s all in surrender because he just does care… we are gathered together in no other name… Jesus!

The venue doesn’t make it a ‘heathen’ gathering, the man with the tattoo is not turned away, he’s raising his hands in worship. The men and ladies on the stage in skinny jeans are not judged, they are singing and stirring up an incense of worship so great, you feel the presence of God, it’s not how good the music is, or how well the guitarist is… its all about the name of Jesus being worshiped. Its about raising a resurgence in the Spirits of the people gathered… be revived, be renewed, rise again as Christ was raised, and live the life of fulfillment that Christ brought to you.

Its about the call of salvation and the number of people who surrender after each message to the name of Jesus, those who come eagerly to the place where they drop their strong will with open hearts for him to fill it in and take over… It’s about the raising of prayer request and the church praying as a family for different needs, it’s about the testimonies being read out.
If a spiked haired man comes into certain churches, or a skinny jean-wearing girl or guy… she/he will be judged out of the church.

It’s church in the wild! And the crazies are running in.

Now this scene will be frowned at and condemned by a good number of preachers and people. Forget the glaring fact that I mentioned people getting saved and Jesus being exalted. A lady in church wearing trousers? And she leads worship? What the critics see are the skinny jeans and tattoos on the stage. They don’t see the lives that are being changed, the drug dealers that are lured in only to be embraced in their tattoos and the love of God breaks their defenses.

‘They landed in the country of the Gadarenes and were met by two madmen, victims of demons, coming out of the cemetery. The men had terrorized the region for so long that no one considered it safe to walk down that stretch of road anymore. Seeing Jesus, the madmen screamed out, “What business do you have giving us a hard time? You’re the Son of God! You weren’t supposed to show up here yet!” Off in the distance a herd of pigs was browsing and rooting. The evil spirits begged Jesus, “If you kick us out of these men, let us live in the pigs.”
Jesus said, “Go ahead, but get out of here!” Crazed, the pigs stampeded over a cliff into the sea and drowned. Scared to death, the swineherds bolted. They told everyone back in town what had happened to the madmen and the pigs. Those who heard about it were angry about the drowned pigs. A mob formed and demanded that Jesus get out and not come back’. Mttw 8:28-34(MSG)

Jesus delivered a man from such torment, and all the people were concerned about were the pigs. Same way He healed on the Sabbath day and all the people were concerned about was the Sabbath day. We’re so blinded by picking out faults that we refuse to see the glory, and the name of Jesus being lifted. Sometimes half of the message of some preachers/people is about ridiculing the other denominations and how the other person does church. We’re all so worried about the pigs; we’re not looking at the glory that came before the pigs drowned.
I believe there are a group of people the deeper life ministry were called to reach that no other denomination would get to, as with mountain of fire and the word of faith ministries.


So what if a pastor has Jerry curls? Is the true gospel being preached? Are lives changed? Are the sick healed?
I’m not one to shun a church invite because it isn’t my church… If my Spirit agrees with me, I go and I have a great time. I’ve attended churches where I don’t hundred percent agree with some rules… but I don’t let the drowned pigs distract me from Jesus and the wonders of His name in that church.
The fact that you don’t like the lifestyle of some preachers isn’t a reason to stop doing church all together. The fact that you think some preachers are extravagant is not reason enough to stop paying your tithes.
Don’t being so concerned and angry about the pigs that you drive Jesus out/write off some ministries or stop going to church or stop practicing some biblical principles. Let the pigs drown, having Christ in your midst is worth more than the lost pigs that get you angry.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

When the Gucci Drops and The Wigs Come off... Who's Got You?


I witnessed an accident in Lekki phase one some months ago; well I drove past about five minutes after it happened. It was a Power bike accident. I was rushing to the pharmacy close to the house to pick something I needed for my trip and then to my friend’s office to check-in for my flight that evening as the Internet in the house was giving issues.

I saw the bike squashed up and bringing out smoke, and I saw the biker, passers-by had carried him away from the road and placed him on the sidewalk. I was almost being judgmental about how young people were reckless with their bikes when I noticed the victim had a head full of grey hair and was fully decked in his protective gear.

I could take all this in because there was a mini traffic; cars ahead of me had slowed down to look before driving off, like a drive by reality show. I took it all in as my heartbeat increased, and a feeling of sadness washed over me, but did I stop? No I didn’t. There was a crowd of people gathering to help; I drove past like the cars ahead of me, and the one coming behind. I had a lot on my mind, and I didn’t think there was anything I could do. Few cars stopped though, on the other side of the road and the occupants came down to help.

I know I was really sad, because after I had done my last minute running around and rushed home to get ready to leave for the airport, even though the accident scene had cleared up when I drove back home, I was still a little shaken as I told my sister what happened.

I got to hear that the rider died about a week after the accident. Apparently, he was a well-known person. I felt sad, especially after I saw his funeral pictures online.

I knew I couldn’t do anything… but shouldn’t I have stopped?

Anyway, I brought this incident up because I was thinking about it again months after it happened and it hit me… The people you would usually drive past and not acknowledge are the ones who’ve got you when you’re down. The ‘ordinary’ people in Lekki who walk and sell petty markets while we drive by in big cars are the ones who’ve got you when you’re down. They will drop everything, leave their little shops and frustration at walking under the sun, they would divert from their walk to the bus stop or wherever they’re going to, to help. They were the ones who pulled the victim out of the road to the sidewalk, they were the ones who tried their best before a few cars from the steady flow of cars stopped and a medical team arrived.

I would probably be admitted into restaurants and places the man on the curb would dine at without second thoughts and this other people would not be, I would be accepted in circles he moved in, seeing as I know a few people who knew him, circles the men I saw standing around him would not be admitted into. But I did not stop, they stopped.

The people you socialize with and give air kisses to, the ones you invite to your parties and have wonderful photo ops for instagram are not the ones who will show up for you most of the time… From the crowd of social class and guest lists and even church brethren, you’ll only find a handful or less who’ll be willing to drop their baggage to feed you life when you’re at your last breathe of hope.

It’s the ones who don’t get into your parties, the ones who don’t rub shoulders with you, the ones who you judge for not coming to your church, the ones who you’ll be embarrassed to be seen with; especially not on instagram are the ones who’ll drop it all for you. They would selflessly pause at the little they have to feed you life when the chips are down. They would hold out on catching their bus for you, while those you call comrades can’t spare a minute because they’ve got a flight to catch.

When the wigs come off, and the lips are bare, when the Gucci drops and the heels are cracked, who’ll be willing to stand by you? Lately, I’ve experienced the blessings of those in the outer circle showing me love so warm, so sincere, so humbling, so much more than those I expect to show more than an inch of love and care. Don’t look down on anyone; you never know who’s got you when the chips are down.
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