who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Saturday, April 19, 2014


#Nofilter… That’s a harsh tag of pride on instagram. It says “hey look at me, I’m pretty all by myself… no help from  the instagram filters, my photo just turned out great and showed how great my skin tone is and how beautiful I am.”
I love the filters on some days…. What’s the fun in instagram if you don’t use the filters? That’s the whole point. Make the world see you as fabulous as you want! It’s unfair the pressure to conform to no filters on your pictures to prove a point. Sometimes I don’t use filters, because, who cares? Thus I see it as “what’s the big deal?” when I see the harsh tags on some pictures.

Of course you know this isn’t about instagram and it’s filters. Sure you know? Yes you know!
As much as we love to show off that we’re really naturally stunning without filters on instagram, I’ve got to confess I walk around in reality with a filter on my life, from my head to toe, from the inside spilling out to my outside, and I really don’t care because well, I don’t care and I’m not ashamed to say I’m not perfect the way I am in reality, I need filters to get me through life, to get the only one who matters in the world to double click on my being. If He (God) is not liking my picture, then I have no business posting any.

The blood of Jesus that was spilled is my filter. The blood is my cover, the blood makes me more beautiful than you can ever imagine beauty to be…  By myself, in my #nofilter state, I am a sore sight to God, covered from head to toe in filth. My good works and self-transforming makeup is not enough to get me approved and get the like that matters. And so the precious blood of Jesus came to my rescue…. It makes me perfect in the sight of God. It transforms the plain sinful me into a flawless perfection in God’s presence. I can come boldly before Him to obtain mercy. I can confidently call Him father… I am righteous, I am justified, I am Holy, and I am victorious because of the blood. He calls me His beloved, He calls me friend, He knows my name, His mind is full of me, He double clicks and keeps double clicking on my being because He sees me how He sees Jesus, and He has adopted me into sonship, I am His princess, His daughter, His baby.

The blood is my filter to the world, my wisdom, my advantage, my favor, my door opener, my provider… thankful for the blood.

“This includes you who were once far away from God. You were his enemies, separated from him by your evil thoughts and actions. Yet now he has reconciled you to himself through the death of Christ in his physical body. As a result, he has brought you into his own presence, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault.
Colossians 1:21-22(NTL with emphasis)

And as the lyrics of Hillsong's 'Man of sorrow'  goes “Oh that rugged cross my salvation. Where Your love poured out over me. Now my soul cries out Hallelujah... Praise and honor unto Thee” 
My soul really does cry out halleluiah, praise and honor to that lamb that was slain, to the sweet Jesus who gave it all up for me, whose body was broken and whose blood spilled just for me. Isn’t He amazing? Do you go about with a #nofilter harsh tag in life, or have you subscribed to the fabulous life of the greatest filter in the world? Easter is a great time to reflect and get your priorities right. You really aren't cool with no filter. Your natural beauty is hideous.
“When God looks at you today, He sees Jesus. He is not judging, esteeming and measuring you according to your imperfections. He sees you in Christ and His thoughts toward you are thoughts of loving-kindness, forgiveness, blessings and favor. Jesus paid an immensely heavy price at the cross so that you can live life completely accepted and unconditionally loved by God.” Joseph Prince
 “But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. 9And since we have been made right in God’s’ sight by the blood of Christ, he will certainly save us from God’s condemnation.” Romans 5:8-12(NLT)

Friday, April 11, 2014


Dear lost me,

Look where I am now. I got out of that place of blurriness; I got out of the backstreet of pain and insecurity. I got out of that place you left me, thinking I was done for. I stayed still long enough, wrapped up in all the insecurities you threw my way, wanting better, but thinking I wasn’t meant for that good and perfect life. Loving my beauty but being made to believe it was all a curse, a gift that never was worth the pain, destroying myself slowly in my insecurities. Wanting to grasp at the love of Jesus, but feeling unworthy in my filth.

Here I am, far from where you ever thought I would be, living a life that is rich and satisfying in everyway, realizing that the good life is far beyond what you made me believe, what the fairytales I got lost in painted for me. Looking in the mirror and sending a prayer of thanks for the wonderful creature that I am. Realizing that every part of me is a precious gift, made with exquisite care and not a curse. I am royalty, a princess so precious in the eyes of the King of all kings, and His mind is full of me. I am His precious gift to the world.  The world has been waiting for me, groaning for me to manifest my purpose, and I’m ready to satisfy its cry.

I’m finally able to rise above myself and see me in the eyes of God, as I lay in His arms of love. A love that found me, washed me, and restored me, making me perfect in all my imperfections.
I don’t hate you… I don’t resent you.  If I were never lost, I would never know the joy of being found. If you didn’t take me to that lonely alley, I’m not sure I would have been able to understand this grace that I receive, and the love and redemption of one so pure and holy. The depth you threw me in was just a springboard for a higher height of glory. I would never have come this far if I was never taken back so far. Today I stand as an emancipated woman, as I lift my hands in praise… look how much I’ve changed from who I once was, brought out of darkness into His marvelous light.

Yours Truly
Redeemed me.

Sarah Jakes started a campaign for the release of her new book Lost & Found: Finding HOPE in the Detours of Life. She’s encouraged people to send in their Lost me letters. Reading different stories on lost and found has shown me you can’t be too lost to be found, too broken to be fixed, too dead to live. What’s your story?  There’s always hope in the detours of your life.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Road Trip...

Driving with my mum is ‘interesting’. She sits and everything is fine till she stops in the middle of a nice conversation and gently exclaims, “Watch it”. That pisses me off.
“Don’t go”… of course I’m not going mother, I’m watching as much as you are and I can see a speeding car coming. Or she goes “wait” even when I can go, the road is clear and the trailer is miles awayyyy. I can go dear mother, I cherish my life as much as you cherish yours and mine.

My mum is apprehensive when I drive her (now that's funny, because I attempt to be gentle with potholes when she’s in the car, my body aches from being extra careful for her sake, but I guess, I’m never careful enough with her)
Its amusing how on the other hand, she comfortably sits home and sends me to a dozen places without baiting an eyelid.
Sometimes she throws in a “be careful” if its on an extremely busy road.
I wonder how come she trusts me to drive safe when I’m alone. She trust me to “watch it” and “wait” and “move out of the way” on my own, but when she’s in with me… that trust is broken.

You see, I’m like my mum today. I have been able to encourage people and tell them it’s aright, trusting God for them, and believing God will do it without having to ask Him or bug Him. I send them off in the car God is driving, on that road trip, trusting they’ll be all right, trusting God will know when to “watch out” and “go slow” in their lives. I sit comfortably at home as I send them along saying “don’t worry, God is in control… it is well” and knowing deep within that it really is, because I know just how good God is.
It’s that easy.

My mum hasn’t been feeling well for a little while now. Today, I’m riding in the car with God. It’s my turn and like mum, as much as I trust Him to take those who come to me safely on their journey, I still feel the urge to try to control Him as He drives me. I know He’s the best driver ever… I know what His word says. I know all is well, because right in this vehicle, I have seen how ill my mum was and I see her taking recovery steps that can only be God. But I fiddle with my prayers. I just can’t seem to sit back and relax like I do when I’m not in the car. I want Him to “go now“speed up” go past the traffic light. "Could you do this a little faster Lord? I know you’re a perfect driver, but I just have to speed you up on this drive. I know I can trust you, but I really don’t want to be here this long. I want to see the finished works of her healing right now. I have the word, but I need the manifestation right now." That's how I've felt for so long. I literally got sick with worry, lost do much weight, because I chose being a nagging passenger, instead of relaxing on the ride.

I know it is well… it’s all down at His feet. Thank God that He is more patient with me than I am with mum when she tries to control the way I drive. He gently comforts me when I interrupt, I’m thankful He never snaps at me even as much as I know how annoying trying to make the driver drive my way is annoying. I have learned to sit back and relax and even when I hit the imaginary accelerator with my feet, trying to use some telepathy to control His movement because I want Him to go faster. His ways are better than mine, His pace better and He knows how best to handle my deepest burdens. He’s given His word, It’s taken a few weeks but we’re here, so deep into recovery, it can only be God! 

“I don’t think the way you think.
The way you work isn’t the way I work.”
God’s Decree.
“For as the sky soars high above earth,
so the way I work surpasses the way you work,
and the way I think is beyond the way you think.
Just as rain and snow descend from the skies
and don’t go back until they’ve watered the earth,
Doing their work of making things grow and blossom,
producing seed for farmers and food for the hungry,
So will the words that come out of my mouth
not come back empty-handed.
They’ll do the work I sent them to do,
they’ll complete the assignment I gave them
Isaiah 55:8-11(MSG)

Whatever you’re trusting God for, whatever word He’s given that you’re holding on to, keep trusting. His words never return to Him void, they do their work and go back with the rejoicing of our heart. It is His good pleasure to bless us and grant us the desires of our heart. Remember that in all your worries. God is the best driver to go on a road trip with. I would willingly go on a hundred road trips with God as my driver than go on a smooth ride without Him behind the wheels.

Friday, March 28, 2014

First Day on Earth? Here's Some Advice...

Have you heard of kid president? This is one of my favorite videos of the endearing Kid president. 'Letter To A Person on Their First Day Here'.

It's a letter that makes me smile, and makes me nod my head in agreement. "Treat everyone like its their birthday" that jumped at me. It's hard sometimes because everyone can be annoying even when they don't mean to... I'm pretty much annoying myself, sometimes I mean to be, other times I don't mean it. It'll be nice to have everyone treat me like it was my birthday always.... here's the video, enjoy...

Monday, March 24, 2014


Everyone is going natural these days… Well, most Nigerian ladies are.
This post isn’t just about hair. 
@tilola of africanaturalistas has beautiful natural hair.
I’ll liken going natural to going back to the basics, accepting Gods love and receiving His salvation, without dilutions with the chemicals of new age thinking. He’s a wonderful gospel, the truth!
It’s easy, but it isn’t as easy as it looks. Natural hair is a free gift, but you have to take care of it to have a healthy one. Salvation is beautiful…  It’s given for free but to enjoy its fullness, you have to let go of the old life. Salvation of grace doesn't mean the absence of activity, you have to activate it. You invest time in it, to be able to grow in it and show the fruit of it in your life i.e praying, praise etc.

To get your hair natural, you have three options: the big chop, transitioning or faking it.

My friend Ene, chopped off her hair!
The big chop is when you chop off your whole hair at a go to start from scratch. This is the case of he who puts his hands on the plow never looks back… they’re gone for good. You hear about it, and you’re sold to this message. You refuse to give yourself time to back out, and so you give your all, cut off all your hair to start afresh.
Sometimes you have to give it all up, to gain it all... "“If you don’t go all the way with me, through thick and thin, you don’t deserve me. If your first concern is to look after yourself, you’ll never find yourself. But if you forget about yourself and look to me, you’ll find both yourself and me." Matthew 10:38-39(MSG)

Its daring for a girl to chop off ALL her hair, she must really be sold out to what it is she seeks to go that route, because we’ve been made to believe you can’t be beautiful without your hair. But when she cuts it, she stands out and ends up looking more beautiful in a unique way, on a league of her own, and her hair begins to grow again, in a way that she desires it to be, more beautiful than what she held on to in the past.
Most of Jesus disciples made the big chop when they chose to follow Him.  
“….Jesus replied to Simon, “Don’t be afraid! From now on you’ll be fishing for people!” And as soon as they landed, they left everything and followed Jesus.” Luke 5:10-11 (with emphasis)

Pretty Omada is transitioning...She's come to far to fall :)
Transitioning entails letting your natural hair grow till it pushes off the relaxed hair. This takes more time…. and many who have gone on this route have yielded to temptation and retouched their hair along the way. The temptation to retouch and go back to the status quo is real, all it takes is a wedding or some celebration to get them running to the salon for a little retouching. Most are able to see it through, but it takes discipline. Just like the parable of the seeds 

 “Other seeds fell on rocky ground, where they had not much soil; and at once they sprang up, because they had no depth of soil.
But when the sun rose, they were scorched, and because they had no root, they dried up and withered away.” Matthew 13:5-6

 “Many of his disciples said, “This is very hard to understand. How can anyone accept it?”… “At this point many of his disciples turned away and deserted him.”  John 6:60,66

We had people who followed Jesus secretly, the big chop wasn’t for them, they transitioned as they followed in secret and stayed true to the end, while others fell along the way.

“Afterward Joseph of Arimathea, who had been a secret disciple of Jesus (because he feared the Jewish leaders), asked Pilate for permission to take down Jesus’ body…. With him came Nicodemus, the man who had come to Jesus at night.” John 19:38,39
“That’s why we have backsliders today. They never went into this thing of being a Christian with everything they had. But it takes exactly that to live a daily, successful Christian life” Kathryn Kulman
It’s really not the best route for some people, because their faith would waver when they don’t see results from their prayers immediately. They want to get a microwave kind of blessing, not the well-cooked type. Thus they fall off easily.
Yours truly, Me! I love to fake it!
Then, there are those who are faking it. Like me! We fake it because we like the fad, but we don’t believe the argument that relaxed hair can’t be healthy either. So we love our natural hair friends and we love having the look sometimes, so we head out to the market… buy a weave, get a good stylist to sew it in real nice and look like the team natural for a week, two or three and take it off and be normal again.

Amongst Jesus closest disciples was Judas, the one who faked it. In their midst, he stole from the treasury and ended up betraying Jesus. He liked the look of the salvation of the messiah and being in the inner circle, but he just couldn’t subscribe to it, so he faked it. 
“Not that he cared for the poor—he was a thief, and since he was in charge of the disciples’ money, he often stole some for himself.” John 12:6

There are loads of people faking it today, on a one month subscription to 'salvation', then back to the norm, and then when there’s some event in church, they dress in their best religious outfit and get to the front row in church and then head back to life as they love it, because you can’t say life outside Jesus is all bad. I mean, where’s the fun? Who’ll have all that fun if everyone is in the ‘solemn’ assembly of righteousness in Christ. Have you noticed how beautiful the hair of those who fake it look? More beautiful than the true naturalistas. That says a lot; sometimes, those who fake their salvation look more holy/religious than those who are sold out to the faith, that's why God says it's the state of heart that matters most.

Some people have drastic transformations when they hear the word, they turn their back on everything and follow Jesus. Others want it, but it feels like too much, and they trend softly, but some run at the slight sign of a trial, because hey, who said natural hair is easy… or says salvation is easy, but others are able to stay the course and outgrow all the things they held on to and eventually embrace wholly the message of salvation…. Some pretend because it’s the fad, but they soon take the wig off when they’re tired of pretending, and put it on again if there’s a program in church or a problem that needs prayers.

Which of the category do you belong to?

Monday, March 3, 2014

Fast Track...

It was summer, thus it wasn't surprising that the immigration queue at Heathrow terminal 5 was as long as eternity, or so it seemed. Thus we sashayed to the fast track lane, why stand on a long queue when there’s a shorter cut and we have a pass to it? We were about ten persons away from the immigration desk. I felt sorry for the people who had to join the general queue.

They had the last laugh though. We hovered on the fast track short queue for ages while those who came after us moved on real fast on that long long queue, they left us on the ironic fast track lane. It was frustrating and I considered switching lanes and wondered why we didn’t just patiently wait out on the other line.
We finally got to the immigration desk; long after most people on our flight had gone.

What’s the joy of priority anything, if there would be fewer people to attend to them? There was only one desk assigned to us and the officer seemed to delight in wasting time with each passenger like he was meeting them for tea and playing catch up.

The fastest route isn’t always the fastest and best way. Fast track isn’t always fast, what its cut out to look like.
Waiting patiently on God when He’s given you instruction to wait may seem like that extremely long queue, but if He says wait, then wait… You’re moving really fast as long as your wait and standing still is on Gods word. Don’t take things into your own hands trying to do things your way as you watch your friends go on the fast track…. You’ll be sure to fail, while those who wait eventually overtake. Remember Elijah? A man in God’s will who outran a chariot. Ahab went ahead of him in his own strength of power and possession, on the fast track with his chariot, Elijah started out later and arrived before him on foot, because he moved in God’s strength. (1 Kings 18:46)
"Waiting is an exercise of faith that demonstrates the condition off our hearts. Waiting on God is an act of faith. And faith is what separates the men from the boys" Steve Farrar

But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] shall change and renew their strength and power; they shall lift their wings and mount up [close to God] as eagles [mount up to the sun]; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint or become tired. Isaiah 40:31

Remember the way of faith is not longer; it’s not as long as you imagine it to be. Your standing still waiting on God is more speed than you can imagine. Those on the long queue may have looked on with envy when they saw our short queue, but in the end, they went through before us. Most times we see unbelievers having it good and we look at ourselves and wonder why we bother waiting, when we can have that much success doing it their way. But God is doing things His way, just trust. Psalm 37:1-13 in the message translation is so apt (unbelievers are referred to as bad guys/wicked)

Don’t bother your head with braggarts
or wish you could succeed like the wicked.
In no time they’ll shrivel like grass clippings
and wilt like cut flowers in the sun.
Get insurance with God and do a good deed,
settle down and stick to your last.
Keep company with God,
get in on the best.
Open up before God, keep nothing back;
he’ll do whatever needs to be done:
He’ll validate your life in the clear light of day
and stamp you with approval at high noon.
Quiet down before God,
be prayerful before him.
Don’t bother with those who climb the ladder,
who elbow their way to the top.
Bridle your anger, trash your wrath,
cool your pipes—it only makes things worse.
Before long the crooks will be bankrupt;
God-investors will soon own the store.
Before you know it, the wicked will have had it;
you’ll stare at his once famous place and—nothing!
Down-to-earth people will move in and take over,
relishing a huge bonanza.
Bad guys have it in for the good guys,
obsessed with doing them in.
But God isn’t losing any sleep; to him
they’re a joke with no punch line.”
The arm of flesh will certainly fail you, launching out in your own strength and in your own way will eventually burn you out, trust in God, launch out in His strength, wait on Him and you will not be shamed or disappointed in the end.

“If you’ll stay in faith, your dreams will happen sooner than you thought and be bigger than you imagined. That’s the way our God is.” Joel Osteen

Thursday, February 20, 2014


We stayed up most of the night, praying, praising and getting a word of confirmation. In my peace, I knew it'd be alright. In my peace, I knew it!

We say the battle is the Lord's. Thus I knew he was alright. I know the power in God's name and how He can never be defeated. I knew all that even as much as I know even more deep inside.

I slept in peace and woke up early to hear he died despite all we knew and believed. He still died when in different locations and different countries, different voices with one cry of the heart called on the name of the Lord and blessed Him for victory.

I tried not to grief or question... I wasn't even in a place of doubt where you question God... Why? I tried to explain to my niece that the fact that their uncle died doesn't mean God didn't hear them when in all her innocence she told me "but we prayed". Even adults in all their worldliness sigh to themselves..."But we prayed".

I don't see his death as a defeat, because that's insulting God. When has He ever lost a battle? It is hurt for us; his family and his little girls... But in the midst of the pain, I see victory. The righteous are never forsaken. I may not understand how much pain their going through since 'I'm just as inlaw'. But I know.

It may sound as foolishness, denial or making excuses for God because we've been "brainwashed by religion". But it isn't. I wrote this peace on the plane, my plan for the day wasn't buying a ticket, packing and rushing off to the airport... It wasn't to comfort anyone mourning or feel sad. But God has won, it doesn't look like it, but He has fought the battle and handed victory on a platter of gold...

There's a greater glory to this, a greater victory and for this I am thankful for answered prayers in Gods best way possible, even as much as it hurts.

"We're on the winning side. Our team will never be defeated" Kathryn Kulman
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld from Glo Mobile.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

You Come First...

I was getting my nails done the other day and I kept staring at the lady’s nails. They didn’t look so great…  There’s no doubt she’s good at what she does, but the way her nails looked made me wonder why she would be great at making people’s nails beautiful while hers is in a rot.

The same thing with people who make beautiful hair, you see their hair all in a mess, while they make yours look so beautiful… when you ask them why their hair isn’t made, there’s all sorts of excuses, most say, there’s no time…
There was a certain hair stylist at one of those high-end hairdressers in Victoria Island. She was always well dressed and her hair well styled. She always looked so good, I was scared of tipping her after every session, she should have been the one tipping me as she dressed better than I did on most days… she did a great job and she was a walking ad for how fabulous she could be. If you’re spending your days glamming people up, then you owe it to yourself to be glammed up.

I never could understand the reason behind the plane instructions of attending to your self first before helping kids or anyone. I just got to realize it isn’t selfish at all. Most times we jump to help others while we sink and die or get out of breath, needing the oxygen but trying to give someone else first. You need to give yourself enough air, before you reach out, or you will die when you try to help someone else out.

There are pastors that preach up a storm…messages that restore broken homes, but their homes are in such messed up situations you’re shocked when you hear of their divorce. Same thing happens with marriage counselors etc.

Don’t be so poured out that you loose yourself. While you teach people the truth, do you still feed yourself on the truth? While you advice me on how to take the lipstick stains off their teeth, have you checked yours and brushed real good?

If you’re pouring out yourself, make sure to get fueled as well. Don’t serve gourmet meals to people, while you feast on a sandwich, because you’re too tired to whip up a meal.  It’s such a shame to have horrible hair while you style others and make their hair healthy because you’re so poured out to your job you have no time to treat yourself.

“I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.” 1 Corinthians 9:27
 Do not miss your assignment helping someone else find his or her own. Otherwise, you become content failing at a level you tutored everyone else in. You can watch them succeed or show them how to get started.” Sarah D Jakes

Friday, February 7, 2014

The Big and Small of Faith...

Sometimes it’s easy to trust for bigger things than little things. Its amazing how I have faith for things that are near impossible humanly speaking and they come to pass, and when it comes to something as minor as making my hair, I allow myself a minute to worry…. Same God who took care of the big, takes care of the little… its that simple, but its that hard to grasp.

I can confidently stand and tell you how sure I am about my future, how positive I am about the glorious things to come and how convicted I am of the greatness embedded in it… but I will shake when I think about the now… about this minute, about this very second, and this minor pain in the butt.

I’m not the only one who does the big and gets scared of the little. Meet Elijah, the great prophet of God. He stood and called down fire from heaven to shame the gods of the people. He gave orders for the murder of the prophets of baal with such great confidence; the people had no choice but to follow his orders to the letter. He had such great faith for rain to come that he said, “I hear the sound of abundance” even when there wasn’t a cloud in sight…. He ran and over took a chariot of horses who had a good head start before him… he was that big in his faith, that faithful, that up there…. And then this man of great faith was threatened by a little woman angry that he killed her prophets, and he ran to hide, afraid! Isn’t it amazing that he had faith for such great things and a little threat from a woman would make him temporarily forget the power of God in bigger things and cower like a child?(1 King 19)

How human we are, how complicated our nature is when it ought not to be… I want to trust for the smallest things like tweezing my eyebrows and painting my nails just right, tying my gele and saying the right thing and skipping another stage on candy crush… I don’t want my faith to move only for tickets and holidays and shopping and provision. God is God of the big and even God when it comes to the little, His power isn’t reserved for mighty out of this world fits… His power is for always; our faith should work in choosing an outfit as much as it should work in trusting for healing.

The righteous walk by faith… walking by faith is a constant thing, every step you take, every thing you do should be in faith, faith that it’s coming out glorious.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

The Road Patch...

On one of the regular routes I use, there was a rough patch of road we always had to avoid to prevent our cars from being flung into the pothole. It was probably fixed sometime during the night without our knowing, but it still looked like a rough patch. And so we kept driving and swerving because our consciousness was stamped with that pothole in the patch. One day I was driving through and it dawned on me that I didn’t need to dodge this patch anymore, it was fixed, and I confidently drove over it while others ahead of me still swerved…. Smart girl I am. I really am smart, silly people stressing themselves out for nothing.

We sin. We’re only humans… but as blood washed, blood bought children of God, our sins are not enough to separate us from the love of God. Its just like that rough patch of road… we come before God cautious and guilt ridden in prayer… just like the cars swiveling to avoid the pothole. We forget there’s been a repair… once we come to God for forgiveness, He forgives, He washes us, He cleanses us… or why else would the word say “there is therefore no condemnation to those in Christ”… why else would it say nothing can separate us from the Love of God? Because when we come to Him He washes us clean, the blood of Jesus washes us and speaks forgiveness for us in the presence of the father. 

The blood is our shield, its detoxifies us, its our everything. But we’re so sin conscious, that we still walk around God with caution because of the sin we committed three years ago. Condemnation still holds us down even after God has forgiven us… we feel God is still waiting to punish us big time, He hasn’t forgotten that sin… as soon as we have a headache, our minds go straight to the sin and we wonder if punishment time has come. Just like the other drivers avoided the patch, because they were so conscious of it. Oh come boldly into His presence, drive through that patch with confidence….  He says come boldly and obtain mercy. How glorious He is.

Thank God for the birth of Jesus, that led to His crucifixion and taking the price of our sins on Himself just to save us. Now the blood of sprinkling speaks better things for us, it takes away condemnation and guilt consciousness, our sins are forgiven, we are justified.

God isn’t some big bad god waiting to punish us; eager to send us to hell… you think He would sacrifice Jesus if He wanted us punished? We only punish ourselves by refusing to respond to His love. Yes He is a mighty and fierce warrior, but that’s to those who come against us, in the same breath He is the gentle savior to us. How He loves us, how He hurts that we don’t see Him in the light of His love but as a shadow of fear and condemnation breathing down our necks all day every day… pointing accusing fingers. If you feel accused even after repentance, that’s not God, that’s satan, because He is the ‘accuser of the brethren’. (Rev 12:10)

We’ve conditioned our minds to be guilt conscious. Its so hard to take forgiveness of sins without penance, so hard to think we can easily be forgiven, so we distance ourselves, we move away from His love and eventually let go because we let our guilt kill our worship… We become works conscious, trying to make up for sin by going to church everyday and sweeping the church and carrying a bible in our hands for the world to see. That’s works, trying to justify ourselves when Jesus has done all that for us… He’s right there righteous before God interceding for us, seated at the right hand of God and we who have received Him are seated with Him at God’s side… God hates sin, but He forgives us as soon as we ask because the blood of Jesus has given Him no choice but to forgive and forget our sins.

See His love for you… run into this love and obtain mercy, and bask in forgiveness and goodness and joy and peace and good and perfect gifts. See the father’s love for you. How many of you have had rebellious stints as children? Many must have stolen from parents, gotten pregnant, dropped out of school or done something hideous at one point or the other… but look how your parents still love you, even if they are just the channels you came into the world through… how much more your God? The one who formed you and conceived the idea of you and placed you in the hands of your parents to take care of you.
Stop avoiding that patch, the pothole has been filled, drive with confidence over it. Say hello to your God with confidence, He truly has forgiven you.

(Its funny sometimes when we say there’s a special place in hell for murderers and then just before the hideous murderer dies, He grabs a revelation of Jesus and gives His life to Christ and then we stroll into heaven and see Him having a bbq on the streets of gold… sounds unfair right? But that’s God. Look at the thieve on the cross with Jesus...He received salvation just at the point of his death... Everyone is welcome!)
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