who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

The Mirror, The Look and The Heart!


I was thinking about an attitude I had towards a certain girl. You see, I was justified to feel that way about her, because literally every mutual acquaintance had the same thing to say about her, so it wasn’t a hating. I started reviewing myself when I realized we were always talking about her, we didn’t see it as gossip per se, we just constantly reviewed her shenanigans after different run-ins with her. After one of those talks, I got upset with myself and reviewed my mind; I told myself it had to stop, so what if she’s that way? So what if everybody has an issue with the way she is? So what? Why was I being consumed with her? I could disagree with all she stands for, but I really don’t need to talk about her as much as I do or at all. I made up my mind to stop after examining my mind in the mirror of my faith.

A few days later I was in church and this statement hit me from the pastors sermon “We give more attention to how we look than how we think”

I love mirrors. I don’t pass a chance to give myself a stare, because I love myself. Not in the Johnny Bravo kind of way. Now I don’t think it’s a bad thing or a vain thing, I’d rather this self-love than have zero confidence that keeps me away from mirrors. Even on days I know I look good, I still double check when I see my reflection on a car or a window, my friends sunglasses or anywhere that can give a reflection, as long as I don’t look obvious doing it. I don’t come out looking super model glam after all my time in front of the mirror, but I impress me most times, I’ve got a couple of mirror selfies to show for it. 
 
Bathroom mirrors are just perfect for mirror selfies!
Wouldn’t it be way cooler if only we would look at our minds with the mirror of the word as often as we check ourselves out in the mirror? We'd have transformed minds more beautiful than our well made up faces! I’m not pointing fingers; I’m a culprit when it comes to not consistently studying my bible. I see people who at every break bring out a bible to study, you know, just like I look in a mirror at any chance I get, and I’m thinking … you’re so cool bro!
The day I stopped to review my attitude to this lady was one of the days I looked at my mind in a mirror. As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the real person. Porverbs 27:19(NLT)
Are our hearts as beautiful as our faces? Because with all the beauty in the world, enough to qualify you for the number 1-100 spot on some most beautiful list, you’re only as beautiful as your heart is.

You see, I don’t keep staring in the mirror because I’ve forgotten what I look like. I keep staring because I want to see more, to reassure myself sometimes that I really do look good and my outfit is ‘on point’, nothing sticking out, no VPL, no rips, stains or peeping toms. I want to adjust my makeup or give my confidence a boost by smiling at myself. That's why I don't just look once a day and move on with life. All the same reasons why we should keep reading the word, looking into the mirror of the heart even when/if we've read it before… to adjust, to reassure, to boost our confidence/faith, to stand tall knowing who we are in Christ and what we look like and to seek for change and adjustment where we see a crooked crown.

And all of us, as with unveiled face, [because we] continued to behold [in the Word of God] as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are constantly being transfigured into His very own image in ever increasing splendor and from one degree of glory to another; [for this comes] from the Lord [Who is] the Spirit. 2 Corinthians 3:18(AMP)

The more we glance in the mirror of the scripture, the more our minds are being renewed and we begin to be transformed in our attitude, displaying God’s glory in the way we live. Glancing in the physical mirror is a daily necessity for me, even when I’m running late, no matter how flitting It is…  Lets make glancing into the mirror of the word just as important as the floor-length mirror we’re so in love with, even when we feel like there’s no time, lets make enough time to glance into the mirror of life. It's time to give more attention to how you think than how you look. Your thinking is shaped my what mirror you use to reflection on your mind...


Saturday, August 29, 2015

He's Got You Babe...


I found something I wrote a few months ago, when an application I sent in wasn’t approved. When I got the email giving flimsy reasons for the rejection, I felt cold and angry, because I knew someone somewhere was just being mean and I wondered if I should have bypassed the process and just gone straight to the boss through an acquaintance… But this was only for a few minutes, because soon after, I was writing this words of encouragement, because I knew that even though it hurt, only better could come out of it.
Reading it today again has rekindled my heart to the truth of how trustworthy our God is…

This isn’t a set back for me. It’s an upliftment. God never takes backward steps with the righteous, they rise even when all seems fallen. They shine brighter and brighter even when all seems gloomy and situations bring storms
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. He loves you and only thinks great thoughts and loving thoughts towards you.
Daddy loves you more than any earthly being ever has or ever will. Trust His hand and His will. Trust His love and His goodness. Trust His excellence and His perfect plans. Just trust, don’t try to understand. Trust.
Daddy’s got you. He’s in control.
Rest child, rest!
He hears you. Rest.

I pray this blesses someone today.
God’s go you baby, chill!

Monday, August 17, 2015

#Selfie #Selfie


I take loads of selfies! But post very few on social media, and the few I post have to be near perfect in my eyes.
I don’t see myself as unattractive… which is me trying to humbly say, I think I’m a fine girl. But in taking selfies, I have come up with a theory… it doesn’t matter how fine you are, you almost never post the first selfie you take from a batch. You take a couple till you get the perfect one; you know the one that captures your good side. Well, that’s my story, not sure if any other person shares this struggle sometimes. “Your phone is full of 300 selfies in a row because that's what it takes to get the perfect shot.” the struggle! (FACT: I actually take a lot of beautiful first time selfies, but this truth would hurt my post. I am the exception :0)

For every beautiful selfie, you find a couple of likes, and in those likes are people blown away by you and probably wanting to be as perfect as you are. I mean there’s a selfie book by Kim Kardashian, I’m sure those who bought it drooled over her and called her perfect! (And here I go, using the Kardashians as an illustration, there’s no escaping them, is there?) They don’t see the struggle like chief obi shows here...
A video posted by Chief Obi (@chief_obi) on



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They don’t see how you struggle to get the perfect lighting. The don’t see the one where your nose appeared too big from one angle, they don’t see the number of deleted ones, and that’s what hurts most spectators… the fact that they never see your backstage struggles, just your highlight reels.

People think I’ve got this Christian thing locked in perfection… well I know Christ covers me and sees me perfect. But have you seen my Christian struggle? The preachers who stand on pulpits after putting up a perfect game face, you have no idea what he had to push through to stand.

I love God, how couldn’t I? When He loves me as much as He does even with knowing me as much as He does! But I struggle sometimes. I struggle with certain things that don’t make you question my authenticity as a Christian.
You see sometimes it’s hard to be happy for people. Not hard per se, but it just hits you from one angle… but then you struggle through all the insecurities, and you finally get the perfect look after many attempts, the look that says Gods got you and you’re amazing the way you are and everyone has a different path to tread, and then smile and congratulate them genuinely. We may all have it together, but sometimes, life seems to test your faith and how solid the ground you stand on is when it seems to rub off other peoples perceived success in your face, and you forget you’re not running the same race… you forget that its not a competition, and that her making it even if it doesn’t benefit you directly, benefits you in someway. How? Well the fact that God is good and there’s one more person out there testifying of His goodness should make you trust and love your Daddy more.

People think I have it all together, maybe because of the fact that I say and live like it is well always, or write posts to encourage, and annoyingly seem like Mary Poppins who is never flustered and always ready doesn’t mean I am. I go through troubles, I worry at times, I don’t have a good look some times, but I’m able to find a perfect lighting most times, to get a stunning selfie to put out there. I go through a lot of flustered situations before I come through with the perfect post/selfie. Because I have been through and I have learned and I still learn to trust in the midst of it all. And in my learning, I am inspired to inspire.

All those perfect selfies out there? Why/how did they get the perfect shot? Because they refused to give up, they were determined to keep clicking till they got a satisfied result for you to see.

Don’t judge your behind the scene moments with another’s finished cut!

Monday, August 10, 2015

You Should Move It Move It...


We were travelling back to Makurdi from Abuja and it begun to rain heavily. It was pouring hard and visibility was poor. My mum panicked and asked the driver to pull over and park till it stopped raining, but the driver and I both protested. I told her it wasn’t safe to park in this condition. Stopping would put us in more danger than moving.  

After saying that to her, it got me thinking… how many of us have parked/are parking because the storm is too strong, and the rain is pouring heavily? How many of us have given up and locked ourselves up, locked others up, given up on a relationship, a job or a dream just because our lives are experiencing a downpour and we just don’t have the will to move forward, because visibility is blurred and it just feels so hard?

We may feel like giving in to self-pity and curling up in a depressive ball would help, but it doesn’t. The way to get out of the storm is to keep moving. And remember that when you move in a downpour you don’t speed through, or else you would crash, so it’s ok when you feel like you’re moving too slow, and whatever issue still seems to be staring you in the face, it doesn’t mean it’s won, you’re still right on track as long as you’re taking steps ahead and not folded up in despair, know that each time you move, you’re closer to the other side with blue skies.

The healing process takes time when you’ve been hurt, and because you’re healing, you don’t rush through the hurt and act like it never happened, but you take deliberate steps, till you move over to the other side.  Don’t rush into the next relationship because the last failed and knocked you out, while you shouldn’t stay parked in heartbreak, move slowly to the next so you don’t crash. Don’t run to the next town or the next church because you’ve been hurt by someone in the last…
Before long, we were out of the downpour because we kept moving albeit slowly. With each step you take, you move from the deep end of the storm and before long you’re under blue skies again, were visibility is perfect and you pick up your speed.

Stopping is dangerous. Stopping is awful… we sometimes lose everything because we are too scared to risk everything on a trust and move. You can’t see clearly? Well you’ve heard God give a word of assurance that He’ll never leave you or forsake you, let that be the light to your path, let that be the wiper that gives you the view of the next step, let every step be deliberate, but sure and certain… till you get there. Before long you’re under blue skies again and the sun is shinning, the only thing left to remind you of the storm you’ve been through are drops of water hanging on to your car, and that would be dried up by the sun before long.
Persevere in your trust in God and in prayer and keep moving baby…


Friday, July 31, 2015

Fake Prophets Be Like....


This video on instagram… both hilarious and truth laden! Got me laughing and got me pensive.



People are so desperate, and desperate people run from the simple solutions to the complicated, because less is more is a farce, but more is a more convincing truth and we have people who have risen to the occasion to take advantage of this situation, preying on the poor poor humans. The self-acclaimed prophets with the same job description as the psychics. We look for a quick fix, ‘magic’ in church that we run from the main deal… The word! We run to the sideshows, the circus houses where ‘magic’ is displayed and as long as there is deliverance ‘drama’ playing out, we’re good. We don’t care to discern if the Spirit of God resides in that house, because we can’t discern in the first place because we have refused to know the word for ourselves. We’re sold to the prophets who can tell us our eyes are brown and our mothers are females.

We’re in the last days talked about in the bible “in confusion, the lying preachers will come forward and deceive a lot of people” Matthew 24:11(MSG)
The other day I read a story of a preacher in SA making his congregation eat grass, the same preacher who stomped on their backs, who made them eat pieces of clothes and the same who made some swallow a live snake. I ask why would they go there? Because the magic that happens there is enough to captivate them and convince them that they should do what he says, because he prophesied that they have eyes to see, or something as captivating as that.

Right here in Nigeria, most houses have their TV tuned to a certain prophet 24hrs. I’m not judging, I have people close to me sold out to this psychic/prophet. Do I hear the word been preached and when I do, do I HEAR the word been preached? Do I see a Spirit filled man? No, all I see is drama, drama so intriguing, that even with my stance as a Spirit filled woman, I get drawn into the show… where the demons entertain us real good with stories that touch, and members of the congregation left intrigued and clapping profusely. Nollywood, watch out for part 5!

Driving into Abuja, you see all sorts of billboards of prophets, and right beside their shinning smiling faces are Nollywood stars… Okon, mama G etc to add flava to the service of the day, those handbills and billboard cement the fact that you’re in for one hell of a live Nollywood show. These churches are filled to the overflow… why are we so easily swayed?
Why do we let bad dreams make us foolish and afraid? Why can’t we pray against them? What happened to taking authority? Because we haven’t read the word to understand just how powerful we are. We need our pastors, but any pastor who makes you dependent on him is a suspect. If he doesn’t try to stir you towards maturing in your walk with Christ, and always has a prophecy for you, then….

Suya nights and koboko nights are not going to kill your enemies/afflictions…
Telling you that someone tied your womb isn’t going to give you a child… the word of God is! Jesus is the answer, so even if your prophet is a professor of prophecy, is he isn’t giving you a solution in the word to the said problem? Or is he demanding a fee? If yes, then you’re just in a magic show house, a circus ring, and a clown in the drama unfolding for the congregation. O, and if you have to pay for every information of doom to be spelt out for you, with no solution, I’m so sorry darling, so sorry that your mind had to be so washed up. Wake up from this sleep sleeping beauty. Let Jesus kiss you awake, and be awake to His word, to the life found in the word. Wake up and break free from this deception.

Thursday, July 23, 2015

No Stress...

The body wasn’t built for stress, that’s why it crumbles when we spend time worrying; migraines, high bps, stomach upsets, depression etc. Personally, my appetite shuts down when I’m worrying or stressed out about something. I would go for days looking normal but despising food and not feeling hungry even as much as I try to haunt out the foodie in me. I don’t eat and I lose weight, loads of weight when I let issues hold my mind captive. I also realize that I tend to need regular puffs from an inhaler when I sink into the lowest ebb of  worry.

‘Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.’ 1 Peter 5:7(AMP)

God never intended for us to carry our burdens, that’s why we fall when we insist on worrying, because we are carrying so much more than we were designed to hold. Our body wasn’t built for stress. We’re carrying on our shoulders what God has told us is His to carry, and because we aren’t built for all that weight, most often than not, we crumble under it in one form of illness/mental breakdown or another. Cast all your burdens on God, don’t worry if you’ve given Him too much to carry, keep throwing them at Him, that’s one of His self-assigned job descriptions. Cast ALL your cares, not some on Him. He’s got you. Cast can also be described as throwing something forcefully, so you see, we’re not to be gentle with the problems, we’re to throw them at Him, like yank them off ourselves/our minds and fling at Him… not my words, His! That's what He's asked us to do.

I’m trying to ease into that life of not worrying. It’s not the easiest thing in the world to do, not worrying… Na! It’s hard to not worry, but it’s so beautiful when I don’t. In those moments that I leave things to God, and take my mind off worrying, I feel lighter and then suddenly, I begin to see results. It’s not magic, it’s God! 

I still worry most of the time, but with each new challenge, I learn that this God, this one who says He’s my Father and calls Himself my friend and says He loves me more than I could ever think is the perfect burden bearer, the perfect comforter I can ‘ugly’ cry to, the perfect counsel that advises on what to do, and the perfect arm that gives me rest over whatever issue. With each new burden I throw at Him after life has thrown its challenges at me, I am made to realize that He’s truly got me.
God’s got me, He’s got you too!
 Remember... ‘Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.’ 1 Peter 5:7(AMP)


Thursday, July 16, 2015

Save the Egg!

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I love my uncle E and his story telling self. But when you’re the subject of his story, it really isn’t as fascinating as it usually is when it’s someone else. Once upon a time, I was on the chubby size side of life and I loved me some bread and boiled egg… all the time! That was my joy, some turn to chocolate for comfort eating, I turned to bread and egg.

On this fateful day, I was holding my boiled egg, getting ready to peel the shell off that piece of goodness and have a good meal of boiled egg tucked into roughly cut agege textured bread with a blue band spread and a very creamy cup of bournvita.
I don’t know why I was holding the egg out of my plate and heading to the kitchen, but I was, and just before I got to the door leading to the kitchen, I slipped and fell real hard.
According to my uncle… I say according to Him because I refuse to recount that moment and admit that he speaks the truth. So, according to him, I wasn’t thinking of bracing myself for the fall, I was only thinking about saving the egg, because the hand with the egg was lifted away from the disaster, egg still in tact, while my body was wiped on the floor. Now that’s a crazy thing to say… but for the sake of this post, I’ll go with the flow of his version of my fall.
The egg was dear to me, and instead of saving myself and losing my egg in that fall, I saved my egg and lived with the consequences of that fall. My two hands would have reduced the impact, but na, I wasn’t letting go of that egg.

You see there are things that should be so precious to us, that if our world falls apart, we have our hands holding on to it to the end. We don’t let the fall take our expectation, our hope away. I didn’t let that fall take the desire for the fulfillment of my craving for a nice boiled egg sandwich away.

There’s a word, a promise from God we must hold on to even when the world falls apart. When new laws that make fun of God’s word are passed, when the political environment feels bleak, when the rent is due and the bank account is red. When time seems to be on a rat race with you and all those plans remain where they are, when your confidence is dilly dallying with your reality and tugging at your emotions and what you believe. When you fall into sin… hold on to the word!
The word that was given to you. Hold on to the word, the word that points to Jesus as the beginning, end and center of everything. The word that is Jesus.

When scoffers come and try to floor you with their own version of the truth, when they mock your beliefs and bring new ways and twists to the word… hold on to the truth of what you’ve heard and read and believed, even when you are persecuted, hold on to Jesus, the true one, not the distorted one.
 I want you to remember what the holy prophets said long ago and what our Lord and Savior commanded through your apostles.
Most importantly, I want to remind you that in the last days scoffers will come, mocking the truth and following their own desires.” 2 peter 3:2-3 (NLT)
“You already know these things, dear friends. So be on guard; then you will not be carried away by the errors of these wicked people and lose your own secure footing. Rather, you must grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
All glory to him, both now and forever! Amen.” 2 peter 3:17-18

I was brave. I chose to uphold my snack and bear the consequence of bruised buttocks. (The impact of bum on tile isn’t so nice.) Just like this scripture says…
 ‘Keep your eyes open, hold tight to your convictions, give it all you’ve got, be resolute, and love without stopping.’ 1 Corinthians 16:13-14(msg)

Something else that should be guarded at all times… your heart! ‘Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.’ Proverbs 4:23.
When the world throws its chaos and you find yourself in different challenges that floors you, as much as you’re in the reality of that situation, guard your heart. Don’t let negative thoughts come in, even when you’re sinking in trouble, guard your heart that houses God’s word that translates to life, that says you’re standing even when you fall… guard your heart against worry, even when the threat of eviction looms. So your world make have hit rock bottom… literally (my bottom literally hit rock in that fall), but let your heart be the one thing you save even as you see everything closing in on you, for in your heart is the word, the word that is Jesus, the word that is true even in the face of the facts, the word that saves. You hit rock bottom, well, that’s not the end, Jesus hit rock bottom in the grave, but look what happened… The resurrection! That same resurrection power works in you.

No matter how hard the fall is, save the egg!

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Incense....

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Incense was beautiful. Words can’t paint the perfect picture of what we experienced. We wanted to see the glory, and O, what glory we saw, and felt.

The worship leaders who helped us release our worship were exceptional, it wasn’t a talent thing, or show off thing, it was truly a Spirit thing. The oil flowed and we were able to lose ourselves in God’s glorious presence.

I believe we are a spoilt generation. We get to come as we are into God’s presence… boldly! We enter the Holy of Holies with confidence because of the blood of Jesus. We don’t need a prophet to see God for us. We don’t need a Moses to see the glory for us. We have been qualified to see the glory for ourselves, and o, how wonderful it is.

Words are not enough… God came down. Just a few pictures...































Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Thankful Thirty...

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I turned 30 on the 6th of July. It’s so beautiful this life I live. The Beatitudes song I heard at Hillsong Color Conference has become my favorite… especially this line “If just to know you, if just to love you, what more can I ask for? what more can I ask for?”

I just read through my 25th birthday post. Here’s a little excerpt from it Five years from now? I’d be closer to the light, close enough to see my path and know where the next perfect turn leads…
I can't paint pictures of expectations; I don't have the right colors. The canvas may seem bare now, but who says that's not the whole idea. I am a vessel, grooming and waiting to be made into what I ought to be.

And  here I am, five years after… I’m indeed closer to the light, my path’s been shinning brighter, and God has taken me on paths I never would have wanted to walk on in my own wisdom. I’m still leaving my canvas bare… He’s a better painter. I still can’t paint pictures of expectations in details… but I expect the very best of the very best.

I’m thankful for this new path, for this new phase I’ve been brought into. Indeed, I am blessed beyond measure.

Thursday, July 2, 2015

Incense... A Worship Experience!

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"The time has come for a revival of public worship as the finest of the fine arts...While
there is a call for strong preaching there is even a greater need for uplifting worship."
Andrew W. Blackwood

This is the essence of incense… uplifting, unadulterated worship! Where we collectively stand as the temple of the Living God (1 Corinthians 3:16), and act in the office of royal priests (1 peter 2:9) we’ve been called into. Burning an incense of worship with our lifted hands hearts and voices to God, our King, the one who loves us fiercely… the I AM!

I’m so excited about incense and the life changing worship experience we’re going to have as we cast crowns, lift hands and bow our hearts in worship.
To see this thought planted in my heart become a reality has overwhelmed my heart with gratitude. I know God’s going to honor us with His presence.
I’m thankful for the beautiful people who have shown support and our High priests who’ll be leading a congregation of Priests in worship.
Nothing is as beautiful and sweet as the presence of God, I really can't describe how intense moments of worship are. Sometimes, it feels like a lovers dance, the merging of hearts with God as He rains down kisses on me. 
I want everyone who attends to get an intimate revelation of God and experience the beauty of His glory as we burn up an incense of worship for His presence.

Everyone who comes will leave with something beautiful, because I know no one leaves the presence of God the same way they come.
What beauty...

I’m sure Incense is coming to a city near you… be expectant!
I got a couple of my friends and our worship ministers for the evening to drop nuggets of their personal revelation of worship. It's interesting to hear different views about worship.

The Worship Ministers for the evening gave us personal nuggets...






Friends in ministry whispered some nuggets as well...



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