who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Smoking Hot... A Picture's Worth

I love this sketch by Okechukwu Ofili 'A Picture Is Worth 10,000 Followers.'

I can’t introduce you to a God of peace if i have no peace and I'm always worrying about one thing or the other. I can't introduce you to God my provider and my all sufficiency, if I've never experienced his provisions.
I can't tell you how the joy of the Lord is your strength and how much joy is available in knowing God if I let every situation steal my joy, and only feel like life's good when I have my needs met. It takes seeing a man who has lost something valuable being thankful, positive and praising God in his storm to know how true his faith is. It takes seeing that for an unbeliever to believe in the possibility of a God after all.

I've got to literally live the word, and not just be intellectual about it if i want to be able to make people follow Him.
I’ve got to experience His beauty in such a way that it transforms my looks to that of a hot blonde(spiritually look that is :D). Now that's a look that gets people straining to have what I’ve got. They ask how you can have so much peace with all the storm around you. They ask how you can be so forgiving after all the hurt Miss A hurled at you. They ask how you can be so thankful when you have a leaking roof... When they come clicking the follow button, you'll direct them to the source... God.
Sometimes the easiest way to share your faith and convince people that it is indeed the real deal and they need it, is by being a picture of beauty representing the faith. By living your faith right, you get more people in. they say sometimes your life is the only bible some people read.

Live an exemplary life among the natives so that your actions will refute their prejudices. Then they'll be won over to God's side and be there to join in the celebration when he arrives. 1Peter 2:12

On the other hand, cute is good, but cute is plainer than hot. Cute with intellects and throwing bible verses around and shouting hell and brimstone at people isn't so effective sometimes. You get followers, but nothing close to the one who is hot. People are moved more by what they see...

My light's got to shine so bright, that it illuminates the Beauty of God in me and leads people away from the darkness they dwell in, to God. "Let your light so shine before men that they may see your moral excellence and your praiseworthy, noble, and good deeds and recognize and honor and praise and glorify your Father Who is in heaven" Matthew 5:16
Let your light so shine ... - Let your holy life, your pure conversation, and your faithful instructions, be everywhere seen and known. Always, in all societies, in all business, at home and abroad, in prosperity and adversity, let it be seen that you are real Christians. Barnes' notes on the Bible.
Does my character reflect the relationship i have with Christ? Am i nice to people? How do i react in certain situations? How do i treat those who i can't/don't need help from?
Have the right attitude and you could say the simplest of things (as simple as "Jesus loves you")like a pretty 'dumb blonde' (just like the picture above) and you'll have people panting for what you've got... Salvation. It’s the work of the Holy Spirit.
So remember, a picture is worth a thousand followers.
Work on your appearance and your salvation with trembling, let the Holy Spirit be your guide, let Him pimp you up so good with all the bling bling of the kingdom. Just like ofili’s picture says, sometimes, all you need to get people to hear you(even when you have nothing intellectual to say) is your looks... 

How many of us are smoking hot and gathering more followers? I'm still a little cute, but desperately working on my smoking hot beauty with the help of the Spirit of God, we're doing work outs and  fittings and getting the right hair color :) and learning the etiquette of being a HOT chic... It's not been easy, but i can't wait to be done with my make over. God help me.

How apt, was just going through ODM after posting this and found this quote from an atheist Frederick Nietzsche "I Might believe in the redeemer if His followers looked more redeemed" 

*Smoking Hot = Extremely beautiful in this context as opposed to sexy.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Two years...

It's been two years. I miss you... Still hard to believe. You'll always be remembered. 

Nonso aka Ozaveshe 1983 - 2010 (www.ozaveshe.blogspot.com)

Lord Have Mercy - Lecrae

To accompany the release of his latest album "Gravity" Lecrae put together a seven day devotional for The Overflow Devo( a FREE 7 -day written and video devotional plan on YouVersion, where Christian artists break down their songs in Biblical terms. The Bible app can be downloaded for free from all major app stores and at www.youversion.com/download.)
Reading day 3 of the plan opened the eyes of my understanding to what Romans 6 talks about(I got it, but i didn't really get it till i read this) I knew i had to share. Here's a direct link to Crae's devo https://www.youversion.com/reading-plans/356-lecrae-devotional

I was once a slave to sin. I couldn't help but answer its every beck and call. Porn, pre-marital sex, drugs, and theft mastered me. Romans 6:20 says that "when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness” (ESV). What that means is that it was easy to avoid righteousness and obedience to God. I was free from the conviction of my evil crimes. I could live reckless and ruin my life and feel no godly remorse at all. It’s a sad place. Romans 6 speaks about people who, like myself, were likely slaves to gross sin.
Paul goes on in verse 21 to basically ask these people, “What was the benefit of all your sin of which you are now ashamed?” Imagine the internal and external wounds acquired from living apart from God. Some may have been ashamed of all their fighting, lying, and cheating. Others may have had battle scars, diseases, and emotional damage from their sin. None of us receive any godly or good reward from our sin. We never achieve satisfaction by sinning, and a life marked by sin ends in eternal suffering away from God.
Verse 22, however, gives us the good news that we can and have been set free from the bondage of sin. We are no longer slaves to sin. Imagine you leave one job for another, and your former boss demands that you come in to work today. Of course you'd decline because you no longer work there! You have a new job. Similarly, we are no longer slaves to sin but slaves to righteousness. When sin demands we come in for work, we now have the right and power to say, "NO!"
Our new life in Christ has earthly benefits such as peace, joy, and growth in godliness. More importantly, it all culminates in eternal life with God in Heaven. Thank God He's called us to "turn up" through turning to Him. Our sin leads to death, but God graciously frees us and offers us life.
Yeah... Our new life in Christ = Abundance of Life

Lord Have Mercy- Lecrae(I honestly have no idea where i got the hip hop streak from... but i'm loving it:D)

Friday, October 19, 2012

When I Say, 'I Am A Christian'...

When I say, "I am a Christian," I'm not shouting, "I've been saved!"
I'm whispering, "I get lost! That's why I chose this way"

When I say, "I am a Christian," I don't speak with human pride

I'm confessing that I stumble — needing God to be my guide

When I say, "I am a Christian," I'm not trying to be strong

I'm professing that I'm weak and pray for strength to carry on

When I say, "I am a Christian," I'm not bragging of success

I'm admitting that I've failed and cannot ever pay the debt

When I say, "I am a Christian," I don't think I know it all

I submit to my confusion asking humbly to be taught

When I say, "I am a Christian," I'm not claiming to be perfect

My flaws are far too visible but God believes I'm worth it

When I say, "I am a Christian," I still feel the sting of pain

I have my share of heartache which is why I seek His name

When I say, "I am a Christian," I do not wish to judge

I have no authority — I only know I'm loved

By Carol Wimmer ( but widely and erroneously credited to Maya Angelou)

F.A.T.H.E.R 2.0

I remember when this video was shot... I was there for day one of the shoot and i couldn't understand what the director Wudi Awa was getting at, and so i just watched and well... watched. The outcome was just so different from what i saw.
That got me thinking of how God works. We sit and see how he lets certain things happen and we're clueless about them and can't even come close to comprehending what His 'Big idea' is. But suddenly, when the production is done, we see what the picture is all about and the meaningless thing turns into some masterpiece that takes our breath away... We don't have to understand what He does, we just have to be expectant that it's all for the best.

Alright, so back to the reason for the post. F.A.T.H.E.R 2.0 video by Obiora Obiwon depicts an intense Obiwon in search for inner peace ... Enjoy.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Case Of The Ex...

I spotted him or someone who looked just like him as I browsed through duty free, I wasn’t so sure, but I put a scarf over my head to give me some cover, just in case. My mind kept drifting, and going into some sort of panic overdrive… if it really was him, what in the world was he doing here? What are the chances that we bump into each other in another country; on the day I happen to travel alone? I tried to avoid his line of vision, securing the scarf over my head. I took deep breaths to calm my nerves, trying not to freak out.

I saw him again, as I sat down at the Mac counter, and this time I was sure it was him, because our eyes met and he smiled a “hello”. The last thing I needed to deal with was a confrontation with an ex. We had something going in the past, something so passionate that it was deadly. I was able to walk out of that love/hate sort of relationship, an abusive one that literally took my breath away and choked me on life. But look how cruel fate can be… two years later, in a foreign none English speaking country, with me all alone and my defense on the low, we bump into each other, he still looking as fine as he usual is on his good days. All it took for me to hold myself from falling all over again was the scar on my arm, the one that served as a reminder of the abuse I suffered. The one that told me going back was not an option.
I tried to ignore his smile, the smile that weakened my knees in the past, but I guess it still had that effect, because the sales girl stared at me strangely, a little worried at how pale I had become. It took thirty minutes with the paramedics to get me out of that moment; they figured it all out and kept me with them till I was ready to fly.

The half full plane back to Nigeria had him on board. I could see the back of his head from where I sat, what would happen if he slid into the empty seat next to me? Would the flight attendants be able to handle him? Are sky marshals available on every flight?
I closed my eyes each time I noticed him move, I tried to meditate on the best things in life beyond him… Why wouldn’t he let me be? I was a changed girl now. I was a demon binding, blood-pleading lover of the King now. Wasn’t that enough to scare anyone away? Or was that the appeal? Why was he still desperate for me? The bad boy in him and I could never be anymore… or maybe I was just over reacting. Maybe he wasn’t interested in me, and coincidence was just what it was, he didn’t care about talking to me…

It was such relief that he was nowhere insight when we landed. I was still a little shaken from our brief encounter, but more at ease with no sign of him around. I walked through immigration relaxed and glad to be home, it almost felt like I imagined the whole thing when I looked over my shoulders and didn’t sight him as I waited for the driver to bring the car round. Maybe I over reacted after all.

Got home, my sister still wasn’t back from her journey, thus it was basically just the help and I. I had a quick bath, and lay down to catch up on the sleep I missed on the plane. I was drowsy, tired, worn and slipping in and out of oblivion… that feeling of being asleep but still conscious of your surrounding. Thus, I felt the door open even before I heard it creak. I had to remind myself in my state of half panic, half resignation when I saw who walked in, to remember to always use keys.
Who but the he himself strutted in. He looked dapper. I mean we just flew through time zones and he still looked that good? I forgot to be mad, I just couldn’t be mad at him. I couldn’t be mad at whoever opened the front door and let him up the stairs to my room. I couldn’t even ask myself why they imagined we still had a relationship to let him in as usual. 
He already made it in; I might as well deal with it.

He stood by the door, not saying anything. Just smiling, that one sided grin, that smile that sent me in a frenzy at the airport. The smile, that enticed, and made common sense uncommon. Oh, how I wanted to fall into his embrace at that moment, to get lost in what he had to offer, to get lost in all the emptiness. I looked at myself, a mess in the old night shirt. I signaled at him to give me a minute, jumped off the bed and ran into the bathroom as I breathlessly changed into my favorite night slip. I looked in the mirror. If he was going to have me, he might as well have me looking my best.

You see sometimes, it gets tiring when you have to run all the time from someone who never gets tired of chasing. Especially someone who’s come this close to having you to himself, and taking you away from you before… I came out fresh; lay underneath the duvet, knowing what a pretty sight I made. I closed my eyes and opened my arms and waited for his warm embrace, waiting for the bliss of that deadly hug… till a voice in my head snapped me out of my trance, "you’re better than this. Worth more than you’ve ever been, there’s more... better things out there…more love, more joy, more peace, more wealth and success, there’s more life that needs you." (or something close to that anyway)

That shook me, the selfishness of the moment left me, and I fought him off. Oh, I’m sure he thought it was one of those moments when you say ‘no’ when you really mean ‘yes’ so you don’t look cheap and easy. Well he was in for shocker. I fought with all my strength, I clawed at his face, I wrinkled the suit that looked untouched, I kicked and I screamed. Oh how I screamed, so hard, so loud… that i sent him running. And then I called my friend and cried.

See when death comes sometimes, he comes in an attractive form. That you don’t care about tomorrow anymore, you just want to run into his embrace and rest. Sometimes it's scary, sometimes it's not. 
That’s what happened one night three years ago. I had a nice holiday all by myself, and just as I got to the airport and cruised through duty free… I had an attack and had to be treated by the paramedics. I was scared but somewhat comforted by the scar on my arm that reminds me of the first time i encountered and defeated death in this form… I struggled to stay breathing on the half empty flight home, and then I felt much better when we landed. l lay down to sleep at home, opting to rest instead of making a brief appearance at a friends pool party in VGC like I promised to.

It was me and the maid at home. Just after midnight, about two hours after i lay on the bed, I had another attack and that’s when I gave up. I was tired of fighting. I wasn’t even going to call the driver to take me to the hospital. Because i was tired. Tired of emergency rooms and the ritual of searching for veins and the prick of the needle that sort of revived me and got me to breath steady again.
I felt it come again, and I felt myself go, and oh, what bliss it was. Then I realized I was in an old shirt and got up to change. How funny that one of the last thoughts you think about at death is your look, does that make you vain? I didn’t want to be found looking unkempt; I wanted to look good at the end. It's crazy but i pictured me found in my pink nightie, under the pink duvet, in the pink room. I wasn't worried when i changed, i even had a smile on my face when i climbed back into bed, waiting for the inevitable, wondering if I should call mum to say something or call someone… then I remembered, oh my God, mum, what will she do? I can't go just yet, I haven’t fulfilled my purpose, I cant …I wouldn’t, I refuse to. And so I jumped out of bed, still feeling faintly and gasping for every breath I could take in, I called my pastor friend and there we were, praying, and speaking life into me at 2a.m, praying away the attack, and I felt better and slept like a baby. I chose life that night…

Sometimes in the face of death, you have the choice to choose life. It was easy to give up, much more easier to let go than fight… There’s always a choice in every fight, just be sure it’s worth fighting for, then fight it tooth and nail to get your victory. 
I'm glad i made that decision. I'm thankful I'm alive today. I'm thankful i got over my ex. I'm thankful i had someone i could wake up to support me spiritually right in the middle of the battle. 
Was i not scared of death? Of course, i was. But i was sure of heaven and somewhat resigned to all the uncertainties and struggles around me at that moment, that the fear was numbed. I don't live with that resigned look/perception of 'whatever' anymore.... but with a daring look of 'bring your game on, I'm ready'. Death wouldn't take me because i am too weak to fight it, it'll only take me because God says it's that time, and I've got to go. 
I choose Life.

***For those contemplating suicide? I don't know what it feels like, but what i know is that there's more to life beyond whatever pain or illness or despair you're going through(I should know). There's more out there... nothing is worth giving yourself to death without a fight. Live and fight... Choose life, and in choosing life, you've chosen your victory.

We're Only Humans Baby...

So, what if the bible just had the bare necessities in it? Like focusing on the basics i.e the greatness of the prophets after they met God and all the holy of the holiest characters.
I’m so glad the bible was written in a way that brings me peace and gives me hope… hope that no one is beyond redemption and we really are just humans; we fall, we fail, we disappoint, we choose our will over God’s will, we disobey, we doubt, we fear… even those who were recorded as mighty men of God. But through it all, we see how realistic God's love and grace is.

Abraham lied, he claimed Sarah was his sister to gain favor with the king and he doubted God’s promise and gave himself a son from another source before the birth of Isaac, but he was still called a friend of God in the end. David lusted after another man’s wife, killed her husband when he wasn’t successful in covering up his actions and married the young widow… and he was known to be a man after Gods heart.
Jacob deceived his father, betrayed his brother, but was still blessed by God and was given a new name, Israel. Moses had anger issues and some; he let his emotions control him, but God still used him greatly. Samson? … Oh Samson, we all know his story, but even in the end, God showed up for him and gave him victory. Jonah ran from God, tried escaping from his assignment(like many of us do today). Rahab was a prostitute. The Eli the prophet's sons were said to be scoundrels and rapist. Samuels’s sons took bribes and perverted justice. Peter denied Jesus, not once, not twice but three times. Saul(Paul) was a terror to Christians.

Thank God that He didn’t choose to hide the flaws and past lives of the mighty prophets or those of their children in His guide book. I’m thankful He didn’t omit the part of Rahab being a prostitute, or the mistakes of David, the man who captured His heart, or Solomon who let foreign women turn his heart away from God, or the cowardice and instability of Peter, whom He chose to be the foundation of the church.
They were all written to tell us that despite our human flaws, God loves and blesses us and gives us opportunities to be used for His great plans if we repent. Our mistakes shouldn’t stop us from being the great people He set us aside to be, shouldn’t prevent us from living our purpose… we are humans, and His grace is sufficient to cover our flaws and make us worthy of him.(doesn't mean we deliberately choose to take this grace for granted)

Basically, holding on to your past mistakes and eating your heart out over it isn’t the answer. We have a loving God who forgives and loves to forget the mistakes of the past we choose to dwell on in bitterness. King Solomon says For though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again…” proverbs 24:16
Don’t remain down when you fall, pick yourself up knowing there’s a hand of grace stretched out and ready to help you get back on track. All you have to do is look at the great men and women of the bible to know that you never drift so far off from the throne of grace that you can’t be used for greater things than your fall. And when you rise, choose to focus on the future and not the past. As Paul puts it Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead…”Philippians 3:3 From someone with the 'Saul' history, this is a big and sensible statement.

We're only humans and can only 'survive' salvation because we have a good God, who thankfully isn't human(or we'd all be in big soup)
We’ve got ex-mobsters, ex-prostitutes and ex-cultist etc carrying out kingdom agendas today. Isn’t Grace such a beautiful thing?
"Some people think they've wandered far away from God, but really they're just sitting on the porch with their bag. You're closer than you think" Justin Cox

Tuesday, October 9, 2012


A couple us, young folks are reading the book of proverbs through the month of October... more like a bible study on each chapter for each day. I've shyed away from taking a chapter, I'm just having a great time reading and learning... what lessons!!! It's refreshing getting the emails and reading what people have to say, you get to learn and see things from a different perspective.

Toyin, the mastermind of the group asked this question "Do we think it's possible that the world is intentionally designed to make sin/evil/folly more 'automatic' and cultural than moral nowadays"

Musing me!! haha, had to add this picture for some musing effect :) My friend Kunle took this shot when he was getting a hang at playing with the camera. He plays with more pictures here...
I was excited when i saw the question from Toyin, because a few days earlier, i was reading the book of Luke and something satan said during his 2nd temptation of Jesus got me confused, and i mused on it till i gave up on trying to understand it. Luke 4:6 AMP 'And he said to Him, To You I will give all this power  and  authority and their glory (all their magnificence,excellence, preeminence, dignity, and grace), for it has been turned over to me,  I give it to whomever I will." I guess that says alot. The question put that verse in perspective. The world has been turned over to satan, and the only way to not get sucked into his lies and all the horrors laying underneath the double layer of sugar coated benefits he offers us,  is by hiding under the shadow of God. To stand out for God, is to reject the world's(satans) system. Probably why we say we are in the world but not of the world. "Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect"Romans 12:2

Don't know if I've gone off point, but anyways, a few days ago, i was talking to my sister about Hollywood and homosexuality and all. (I still stand that i can't judge them and hate them for who they are if i can love my friend for something as 'little' as lying. Sin is sin) I love 'modern family' and I've noticed most series that capture a large following have a gay couple in there for good measure... greys anatomy, desperate houswives etc. Hollywood has somehow become the dictator of the cultural norm,(an episode of west wing has a scene where president Bartlet attended a fundraising dinner for his campaign by a top shot gay Hollywood producer who threatened to take away his support from the president if he didn't come out supporting them)  they take away the shock value from our reality. Because we've seen it in the movies looking so normal and so real, then it's okay. That's what the children of this generation will grow up to... movies that tell them whats the norm, while parents struggle with impacting Christian morals that seem stupid and senseless.(Someone in the group gave the Hollywood respond as well, I guess there's an awakening to our consciousness to things we take for granted) 

In conclusion, the response from Oti sums it all up " I feel like we are literally living in the "Matrix".The only people who can see the world for what it is are the people who have been "unplugged" I.E "Born Again" Everyone else has their eyes blinded by the god of this world 2 Cor 4 vs 4 Ask for wisdom, ask for discernment. Test all things. Don't accept anything on face value. Rely on the Word of God, that your mind may continuously be truly enlightened."
What's your take?

Monday, October 8, 2012

Chit Chat...

It's been so crazy but i refuse to let the crazy get me mad. I'm happy and I'm thankful. God always comes through for me and I've learned to believe that all things work together for my good. Even when some expectations are not met, I know it's alright. I was so crushed a few days ago when a deal i was making with a friend flat lined. I was almost in tears when the call ended, but then i prayed and it was alright again. Oh, i get a pang in my heart when i think about it, but I'm not as depressed or angry as i would have been if i had no idea that it was for good after all.

I'm leaving London in two days and it's mixed feelings all the way. I'm excited about going back to the rest of the family and I'm sad about leaving my sister and nieces. I've been here for a month, this is the shortest time I've ever spent. On the bright side, it's getting cold and I'm in no mood to deal with the cold, dark days creeping in.

One of my favorite songs of the moment is 'Look What've You Done' by Tree63 Hope you enjoy it as well.
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