who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Thursday, February 20, 2014


We stayed up most of the night, praying, praising and getting a word of confirmation. In my peace, I knew it'd be alright. In my peace, I knew it!

We say the battle is the Lord's. Thus I knew he was alright. I know the power in God's name and how He can never be defeated. I knew all that even as much as I know even more deep inside.

I slept in peace and woke up early to hear he died despite all we knew and believed. He still died when in different locations and different countries, different voices with one cry of the heart called on the name of the Lord and blessed Him for victory.

I tried not to grief or question... I wasn't even in a place of doubt where you question God... Why? I tried to explain to my niece that the fact that their uncle died doesn't mean God didn't hear them, when in all her innocence she told me "but we prayed". Even adults in all their worldliness sigh to themselves..."But we prayed".

I don't see his death as a defeat, because that's insulting God. When has He ever lost a battle? It is hurt for us; his family and his little girls... But in the midst of the pain, I see victory. The righteous are never forsaken. I may not understand how much pain they're going through since 'I'm just as inlaw'. But I know.

It may sound as foolishness, denial or making excuses for God because we've been "brainwashed by religion". But it isn't. I wrote this piece on the plane, my plan for the day wasn't buying a ticket, packing and rushing off to the airport... It wasn't to comfort anyone mourning or feel sad. But God has won, it doesn't look like it, but He has fought the battle and handed victory on a platter of gold...

There's a greater glory to this, a greater victory and for this I am thankful for answered prayers in Gods best way possible, even as much as it hurts.

"We're on the winning side. Our team will never be defeated" Kathryn Kulman
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld from Glo Mobile.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

You Come First...

I was getting my nails done the other day and I kept staring at the lady’s nails. They didn’t look so great…  There’s no doubt she’s good at what she does, but the way her nails looked made me wonder why she would be great at making people’s nails beautiful while hers is in a rot.

The same thing with people who make beautiful hair, you see their hair all in a mess, while they make yours look so beautiful… when you ask them why their hair isn’t made, there’s all sorts of excuses, most say, there’s no time…
There was a certain hair stylist at one of those high-end hairdressers in Victoria Island. She was always well dressed and her hair well styled. She always looked so good, I was scared of tipping her after every session, she should have been the one tipping me as she dressed better than I did on most days… she did a great job and she was a walking ad for how fabulous she could be. If you’re spending your days glamming people up, then you owe it to yourself to be glammed up.

I never could understand the reason behind the plane instructions of attending to your self first before helping kids or anyone. I just got to realize it isn’t selfish at all. Most times we jump to help others while we sink and die or get out of breath, needing the oxygen but trying to give someone else first. You need to give yourself enough air, before you reach out, or you will die when you try to help someone else out.

There are pastors that preach up a storm…messages that restore broken homes, but their homes are in such messed up situations you’re shocked when you hear of their divorce. Same thing happens with marriage counselors etc.

Don’t be so poured out that you loose yourself. While you teach people the truth, do you still feed yourself on the truth? While you advice on how to take the lipstick stains off their teeth, have you checked yours and brushed real good?

If you’re pouring out yourself, make sure to get fueled as well. Don’t serve gourmet meals to people, while you feast on a sandwich, because you’re too tired to whip up a meal.  It’s such a shame to have horrible hair while you style others and make their hair healthy because you’re so poured out to your job you have no time to treat yourself.

“I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.” 1 Corinthians 9:27
 Do not miss your assignment helping someone else find his or her own. Otherwise, you become content failing at a level you tutored everyone else in. You can watch them succeed or show them how to get started.” Sarah D Jakes

Friday, February 7, 2014

The Big and Small of Faith...

Sometimes it’s easy to trust for bigger things than little things. Its amazing how I have faith for things that are near impossible humanly speaking and they come to pass, and when it comes to something as minor as making my hair, I allow myself a minute to worry…. Same God who took care of the big, takes care of the little… its that simple, but its that hard to grasp.

I can confidently stand and tell you how sure I am about my future, how positive I am about the glorious things to come and how convicted I am of the greatness embedded in it… but I will shake when I think about the now… about this minute, about this very second, and this minor pain in the butt.

I’m not the only one who does the big and gets scared of the little. Meet Elijah, the great prophet of God. He stood and called down fire from heaven to shame the gods of the people. He gave orders for the murder of the prophets of baal with such great confidence; the people had no choice but to follow his orders to the letter. He had such great faith for rain to come that he said, “I hear the sound of abundance” even when there wasn’t a cloud in sight…. He ran and over took a chariot of horses who had a good head start before him… he was that big in his faith, that faithful, that up there…. And then this man of great faith was threatened by a little woman angry that he killed her prophets, and he ran to hide, afraid! Isn’t it amazing that he had faith for such great things and a little threat from a woman would make him temporarily forget the power of God in bigger things and cower like a child?(1 King 19)

How human we are, how complicated our nature is when it ought not to be… I want to trust for the smallest things like tweezing my eyebrows and painting my nails just right, tying my gele and saying the right thing and skipping another stage on candy crush… I don’t want my faith to move only for tickets and holidays and shopping and provision. God is God of the big and even God when it comes to the little, His power isn’t reserved for mighty out of this world fits… His power is for always; our faith should work in choosing an outfit as much as it should work in trusting for healing.

The righteous walk by faith… walking by faith is a constant thing, every step you take, every thing you do should be in faith, faith that it’s coming out glorious.
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