who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Grateful for you...

It's been a wonderful journey on this blog.

This is just to thank everyone who takes time out to visit iNyamu's Eldorado, and those who encourage me with mails. And a very special one to those of you who comment(i know how lazy i can be when it comes to the comment section on other blogs, so i do appreciate your comments)

I don't have all the answers, and I'd be foolish to think i write any of this myself. I put my fingers on the keyboard and he takes over. We all have our opinions, so thank you for letting me share a bit of mine as led by my father. This blog is for me as much as it is for everyone who comes on here. I learn a lot from the things i put on here. I've been getting discouraged recently, but from reading  'treason' i was reminded how doubt tries to take over after seating in on our plans. I'm grateful that i can nibble from it too.

Seeing the number of hits each day is humbling, and overwhelming. I pray i never get too big, too busy or too wise to let the holy spirit speak/encourage you through me.
You all come in on the top of my list(well make that within the top five) of things I'm thankful for this year. Thank God for keeping us alive to see the end of 2011.
I pray you'll have a glorious 2012, i pray your expectations will not be cut short, i pray you'll know Christ more and the power of his resurrection, I pray for his grace and favor to lead you on. I pray all your dreams come true.

I love you all more than numbers ;) But seriously, i really do love you.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart and God bless you.

Monday, December 26, 2011

Digging for it...

You choose to be happy. Happiness is a choice. The joy of the lord is for you, but its worthless if you don't choose to own it, to activate it, to push the worries behind and live on the bright side of life.

I lost sight of that. I have been a complete mess for a couple of weeks. I somehow let the little foxes dig holes in my garden, causing me to worry, not worrying about anything specific, but letting my heart get to a place of weariness.
Would have been much better if I was worried about something specific, like the project I'm working on or stuff.
Oh well.

I prayed on Christmas day, and the voice within whispered... "Be happy." Gods gift to me is his Joy through Christ's Love, my gift to him is being happy.
And so I am happy.
Well, honestly I'm still digging for my happy bone, wherever it's been buried by the foxes.

I love my Christmas presents... They made my heart soar, but we all know material things don't count for happiness.
So I'm digging, its definitely not in the shopping I'll be doing today(because I hate the madness of people on boxing day)
I'm digging it out, and before the new year, I'll be my old jolly self again, well not my old self, but a whole new better, happy go lucky princess of the king of kings.
I'm probably shedding off some baggage in this phase. Like T.D Jakes preached this morning, whatever it is 'be still', so I'll be still in this moment knowing something great is coming out of it.

Hope you had a good Christmas.
God bless you.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Merry Christmas

I fell in love with this Christmas tree in St Pancras, made entirely of Lego... Very creative.
I've got the Christmas blues... I don't know why, but it sure is making me sad. Whatever it is, I know the JOY of the LORD is my strength.

Merry Christmas everyone. Hope you have a joyful one.
Remember Jesus is the reason for the season, don't push him back while you enjoy his party. Remember him in your shopping and partying and cooking and eating and everything fun you do this season.

Give him a gift even as you excitedly receive and give gifts to family and loved ones.
Show some love, give a smile, a hug to someone in need, say a prayer for someone who needs it, and reach out to the less privileged around you if you can. Show the love of Christ in all you do.

He came that we may have life and have it more abundantly, be thankful for this and many more.
Merry Christmas!!! X

Monday, December 19, 2011

Sales, Sales, Sales...

Fact that its free or on sale doesn’t really mean we need it. The stores know the working of the human brain, and so the marketers have a blast… get it for half prize when in truth you’re paying the full prize… only reason we have half the things we’ve got is because there was some sort of perceived deal on them.
How do you know you're getting a good deal? When those sales people hound you and tell you how good the new product is, and how you've got limited time to get it at a huge discount.Who says we really are getting awesome bargains?
Funny thing is there's this really good dead sea product that's always 30% off when the sales people market it, years later it's still 30% off for a limited period... everyday people get eaten by that line.
I walk into stores and see things on sale, but still on the pricey side and i get excited about getting them, it's on sale after all. The 'juju' wears off when i get home and look at the items asking myself if i really do need them… Like for real, if they were full price and i could afford them, would i buy them? Or did i just jump into the sea like sailors lured by the voice of the sirens.
Have you noticed how you end up spending more during sales than you would normally spend? Like because it screams 50-70percent off, you just keep picking and picking till your bill is a 150percent above your budget. You get more stupid shopping on a bargain than regular shopping. (many have fallen prey to the delusion of the dollar shops)

It's the Christmas season again, and all the ads on TV, magazines, internet et co seem to be screaming the same thing... "Christmas, Christmas, Christmas!!! Ho ho ho... spend all your money, be stupid. 'Tis the season to be a great fool, max out on your cards, spend all your cash, devour your overdrafts, get sunk in credit bills... shop shop shop"
And we fall for it, because the sales... Oh, the sales. Most ladies have been victims of 'never been worn' outfits piling in their closets, just because "well, it was a good offer".
Back when i used to swallow the red sign of sale line, hook and sinker... Mercy. I have been a fool a hundred times. A familiar guest to the backstreet of  'shoppers remorse'.

Same way, just because the world offers some things, some pleasures for half the price(and even free), doesn't mean you need them. That instant gratification is more costly than you can ever imagine. By the time you're done revelling in the pleasure you easily access, you realize how senseless it all is. "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body." 1 Corinthians 6:18. Fact that you get sex thrown at you, doesn't mean you should grab at it, if you really do need it, then you'll purchase it for the full price and not off the sale shelve. Not just with sex but every other thing... in our pursuit of wealth, joy and peace. In a world where everyone seems to be liberated, and rules on morality has been bent, you do not have to buy into its half measures, and total reduction on the price of salvation.

"Temptation by its very nature is deception, a lie. What is evil is deceitfully presented as good, what is harmful as helpful, what is poison as antidote, what is enslaving as liberating, what is foul as fun. Temptation is what a trap is to an animal. It offers something good, but its true intent is to trap and kill." Dr. Richard P. Bucher

Learn to be wise, if you easily fall prey to the snares of sales, then avoid the malls as much as you can, same way you should flee from certain places and people that play on your weak points and cause you to fall into sin.
I'm so grateful that literally I've learned to shop with a head on my shoulder, i was taught the hard way, especially in a time where pennies are tight, it's saved me a whole lot. I don't go around hauling things that would be thrown aside, useless and unworn for years. I buy just what i need. Same way, i walk away from sales non literally, i don't walk away in both sense by my own strength but by God's grace.

It's as simple as this... flee from temptation. "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you" James 4:7
I know how much of a struggle it is, but it is possible to walk away from things that would only end up hurting you/temptation "No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it." 1 Corinthians 10:12(msg)
When you're forced to go to the mall for some reason, It's really possible to walk past shops with sale signs screaming at you and not give in, as long as you hold on to God all the way.

Be a wise shopper this season and beyond.

Friday, December 16, 2011

He went ahead...

There was a fire outbreak at the house in Lagos two days ago. All I know is that it could have been much worse. The generator exploded in the middle of the night, and there was a drum of diesel and then there was fire in the carport and cars were packed under, but for some reason, no car was parked in the last spot, right next to the generator.
Several factors were in place to prevent collateral damage, details i don't want to go into. But it feels like everything was orchestrated in anticipation of that fire... set in place to make the damage a little less than a grain of sand. Since it was right in front of the house, my sister who was home alone could have been trapped in the compound, all the cars could have gone up in flames and... Thank God for neighbors who came out, thank God for the dear electrician who came around and decided to spend the night in the boys quarters for some funny reason, and who risked driving the cars out of the compound, thank God for the fire service responding... now that's a major miracle, fire service responding just in time in Nigeria? only God knows how that happened.

What would i have done if i lost all my shoes and books?...(I'm allowed a little humor here :p)

All this got me thinking of God's goodness, and how he's always several steps ahead of every pain/issues we're confronted with. That's why we should never stop praying.
God doesn’t say ‘IF ' he says ‘WHEN’ the enemy comes like a flood, the spirit of God will raise a standard against them. (Isaiah 59:19) 
Meaning it doesn’t matter who you are, born again or not(better born again and on his side) affliction will come, but God has got your back, he knows the plan of the enemy even before he makes it, and so he goes ahead… the blood of Jesus makes the crooked paths straight, he orchestrates things and puts things in place, so when that flood comes, when that fire comes, we are not consumed because he already went ahead to do things.

Like giving you the wife you married, because he knew there would come a time in your life when everything would turn against you, an attack so bad on everything you've worked for, that your faith would be shaken. So he gave you ‘Kemi' instead of 'Ada', in preparation for that time. Because you see, Ada isn't strong enough, she would walk at the first sign of distress. But he knows Kemi has the shoulders that can wedge a mountain, and so she'll help you keep your head up, she can pray up a storm, without her bosom to lean on, you would take a rope and end it.

He let them lay you off from that Job, because he knows what his perfect will is, if you remained in the comfort and security of your office, you would never have dreamed of taking that path that leads you to your purpose.
He allowed you to have a flat tire just as you drove out of the house, while you mumbled and grumbled about being late, you escaped driving right into that robbery, the one with the stray bullet meant for you.
He allowed 'Akin' to dump you, because he was saving you from a bitter marriage and an even messier divorce. 
Thus in everything give thanks... It could have been worse.

He just orchestrates things to work for our good, things we seem do without thinking. He prepares us without us knowing, prepares us and places things in place for those moments when the fire rages. We are saved only by grace.
 "Prayer goes into the future of those being prayed for, to prepare the way for that"
I'm thankful i still have a home to go to when I'm back in Lagos. Gosh, God is faithful indeed. 
To everyone reading this, God will indeed crown your year with good things, there is nothing that you'll go through that God cannot handle.He'll fill your mouth with testimonies upon testimonies. And remember, when the enemy comes at you... God has already gone ahead to make you a conqueror, you will not be consumed by problems that come your way. Just keep praying, and keep on keeping.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Time to snap your fingers...

*Please DON'T skip the videos. If you could sit down to watch the whole length of Vic O's interview, or even go through the pains of watching his music videos with your slow internet connection, then you owe it to yourself to watch my p4cm videos.*

I am a sucker for spoken word/poetry. I bless God for the day i discovered the 'passion for Christ movement aka p4cm'. They just preach it, and preach it and preach it. I always have finger aches from snapping too hard when they preach it... like PREACH IT, undiluted. I'm always challenged when i watch any of the performances. It's beyond amazing seeing young people passionate about Christ and choosing to separate themselves in today's world where conformity rules.
One of my all time favorites is Ezekiel Azonwu. He always tells it as it. I'm especially drawn to this video, Enjoy...

"I'd rather be an outcast now, than be cast out later." #word. *snapping fingers*

"I can't deny that I had to use real eyes to realize that I had an 'I' problem. Until I visited the eye doctor and he told me I needed to cross out my 'Mes', to cross out my I's, and I'll never ever be able to see life until I see life cross-eyed. I mean CROSS I'ed. He changed the way I see and literally became my Visine just to show me that without a drop of him EYE BURN, I said without a drop of him I BURN." #thatisall

And of course, i love Janette..ikz too, she's such a treasure. Here's a piece she did with Ezekiel... gives me the goosebumps... if you're not left snapping you fingers and re-accessing your stand with Christ after this, then i kind of give up on you :p

Getting bounced sucks...

Being bounced is not a good feeling. Especially when you’re me. ME!!!! I mean I’m too cool for school, in my own eyes that is :p. The untouchable, the incredible hunkess, the babe…. The…. You get my point?
So I was traveling with my brother-in-law. Thanks to him, I didn’t have to join the long queues at Murtala Mohammad airport. I just rode on his back/ticket, through a fast track check-in and immigration, even with my depressing coach ticket. That little detail was ignored by the officials. That's why i love Nigeria(sometimes)
I got into the BA lounge with him. Me feeling nice, and sort of forgetting that the fact that we lounge together, doesn't mean we would seat together on the plane, forgetting that there would be a separation when we boarded. And so I ate and drank a little too much from the buffet selection. I was going to enjoy my moment in there. I ignored the call for boarding like those in the lounge, and casually boarded with them when the queue disappeared. That’s when the reality hit me, he turned left and I turned right all the way to the back of the plane, squeezing my way through to my coach seat :(.
We got to heathrow and i picked myself up again, ready to ride on bro-in-law's back again, confidently going into the first/gold member arrival lounge. He was going to freshen up before heading home, and I planned on stuffing myself with food while I waited.
O boy, the bouncing I got. Those people refused to accommodate me, only him. I was stunned. Even with my smile, and the subtle plea. BA would not let me lounge for a few minutes. I missed naija system bad at that moment, where you only have to frown, or smile at the lady in front, depending on her mood, and she would concede to letting your guest in(because she doesn't want to get in trouble with the big man, and she wants a tip too)... 
That’s how I was bounced out. With a heavy heart I let him go in to do what he had to do and I went down to wait with the masses, fuming at the thought of hot chocolate from costa... a far cry from the choice selection i was targeting at the lounge. Fact that I could ride on his ticket and pass through security and into the lounge in Nigeria didn’t mean I could enjoy the same previlege on the plane and in London.
Getting bounced is not a good feeling. Not only is it embarrassing, it is embarrassing, and embarrassing, and some more embarrassment added to that. Just messes up your plans.
Or maybe with all the fame you enjoy in your circle of friends, and all the money you have, you get bounced out of some club... You see people you roll with walk in, and just as you pop your collars, ready to step in, and give the club some huge profits, the bouncer stands in the way. Something about you looks like you're not worthy of being in their 'prestigious' club. What were you thinking wearing baggy jeans/baseball hat/sportswear to a place where everyone is expected to dress in smart pants, shoes and jackets et co? Not even your money can save you at that point, rules are rules. .
Today, we are riding on the shoulders and spirituality of our pastors, we've climbed the back of the church groups we belong to, used our offerings and tithes as a perfect cover in our less than perfect walk. Relied so much on the titles the church hands over to us, we've used this to scale through the worlds security system that is weak in seeing the truth beyond the physical. It's reliance on 'religion' rather than 'salvation' has made us get away with neglecting our spiritual life. All these things give us acceptance in the world… like the Nigerian factor, no questions asked as long as we are with the 'big' man/pastors, or hiding within the confines of these things. 
So we rely on the activities and affiliations, forgetting to work out our own salvation. We are taken over by a followership and adoration of our pastor, being members of the big and visible churches, being in one church committee or the other, and attending the church events. We have forgotten to "...work out your salvation with fear and trembling" Philippians 2:12 because we have found rest in the tickets/salvation of others/church activities. 
I'm only riding on my blog posts if i don't practice what i preach. It all means nothing if people see me as this born again christian from what they read here. It's an invalid ticket/a coach ticket is all it is, if i don't work out my own salvation beyond the things i feel led to share.(now that's a somewhat scary thought)
But a time of separation comes "...and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats.”Mttw 25:32
That’s when it hits us, that’s when we realize that all along we didn’t have our upper-class tickets, we were blinded because the world judged us based on the people we followed, they viewed us as saved because we followed our pastor everywhere, and sang in the choir, and gave huge donations for the church building. We forgot that we were going to a land where no compromise is accepted, you either hold your own ticket or first/gold card or get out of the lounge. There would be no guest, no +1 allowed in.
At the pearly gate we realize that the show we put up, the things we impressed people with, is not enough to get us in, it may have given us a pass in the world like the naija factor, and we may have enjoyed the feast that comes with the 'religious' titles, but it certainly doesn’t mean heaven will open to us.
Don’t be bounced out of heaven. Work our your salvation with fear and trembling, pay the prize and make the sacrifices to get your own ticket. Your pastor cannot sneak you in, being in the choir still doesn’t qualify, your wife's fasting, your mothers prayers, and your father's devotion to God is not going to get you in.  
"Then those who grew up 'in the faith' but had no faith will find themselves out in the cold, outsiders to grace and wondering what happened." Matthew 8:12(the message)

Monday, December 12, 2011

Las gidi oni baje o...


 I think Lagos is a beautiful place, and then sometimes I think it’s just ugly and I want out. I just want to be able to drive to the airport without being apprehensive about traffic and missing my flight. I want to be able to just drive, and not crawl through traffic most of the time, drive and not have a headache from being sane for not just me, but the other lunatics driving on the road. 
I drive into Lekki, thankful that I live there and not somewhere else, that’s until I turn into some street on the way to the dry cleaners and the car gets battered by the horror of the road, flooded with water from bad drainage.(you would think Phase 1 with it's ridiculously expensive living would save you some of these troubles). Then i head out and I'm hit with sights of poverty in some areas. People living under bridges and those living in the slums. From the luxury of Queens drive, Park view, Bourdillon and Banana Island in Ikoyi to the hustle of Ajegunle. There’s just this mixture of beauty and ugliness, two extremes that sometimes feels unreal.

I can get lost in my little world of brunch at cactus, theater at terra, cinemas, fancy clothes and sometimes driving around in an aced car, or the joy and pain of red cabs. I don’t have to wake up in the A.M's to try to beat the traffic on third mainland bridge like some people do, all because they have to get to work early, and then walking into their homes just before midnight, because there was some hold up, some robbery, something that caused a five hour standstill traffic.
I get to attend polo games when I can. I’ve got friends and friends of friends who own boats; we ride in some luxury boat to their beach houses, and have fun. Always one wedding carnival or the other that transports us to a world outside Lagos. Its fun… it’s the Lagos I choose to know, the Lagos I choose to enjoy. The Lagos that is beautiful. The Lagos of Bella naija, not that of Linda Ikeji.(Have you noticed how Linda Ikeji dishes a healthy portion of both the good and bad of this city, while Bella Naija is sort of like the fairy tale version of Lagos?)
Chevron estate lekki

Makoko slums(estate) Lagos. source:http://image.guardian.co.uk
But same time in my little comfort zone…  I have been confronted in traffic by hoodlums, hitting the window and demanding for my phone and stuff with menacing looks that promise to devour me if i don't corporate, near robbery experiences. Orchestrated by people who live in the ugliness of this city, people who have been bombarded with more ugliness than beauty. I have driven out of the house in the afternoon only to be turned back because a major robbery was taking place in a bank close by, with shootouts between robbers and the police. I have been scared off certain places for a period when robbers chose to rob in style by going into  choice hangout spots some years ago.
in the slums. source:http://www.bbc.co.uk
                          Far from the slums

See, even in the beauty I choose to seclude myself in, I can’t even hide from the ugliness around. I have a good meal, have a bed and a room to myself, and then I drive to ajah… to see my tailor Baba Gana. A sweet old man, with a stack of designer gears with labels stacked on his table, one of those dresses would pay his rent for the year. Dresses that would be used for events he can't even imagine exists. He stays in his one room with his wife and children, he complains about the toilet everyone in the 'yard' share. He’s old and sweet and good at adjusting the clothes we buy that need to be nipped and tucked to fit right… at that moment, I’m transported to his world, to the ugliness around and outside my place of comfort. Everyday different luxury cars come over to him and the children in the compound are excited and amused, you would think we were in some village far from civilization... 
Some children taken to school in chauffeur driven exotic cars, while others walk to school and get knocked off as they cross some road to get to school in patched up uniforms.
Ajose Adeogun: My car's one of the victims here.
Nigeria's Next top model.
Outside the explosive music scenes, fashion shows and red carpet events… there’s always something to look at with bitterness and think about how messed up the town is. The rain pours and we pray there's no flooding and our cars and homes are safe(even on the 'beautiful' side we live). We are confronted by overheated cars on third mainland bridge, cars that fail under the pressure of a killer traffic. Bus drivers with brains in their butts, lastma officials who harass for no legal reason. Area boys drive us out of the beautiful beaches close to us, so we have to resort to the private confines of la campaign Tropicana and other private beaches or rely on the generosity of those with beach houses. But we live all the same, we don’t move out of lagos because we can’t stand some of the things it throws at us.
Prostitutes lining the streets of V/I. We look past them, past the ugliness of what these girls are reduced to because it's a fixture we're used to seeing. And so we drive through the ugly fixture of Adeyemo alakija to the beauty of a nice ice cream meal at ice cream factory. Ugly stories of kidnapping, rituals and disappearances. Of boyfriends murdering girlfriends and buildings collapsing. But the fact that these ugly things rear their heads at us doesn't stop us from enjoying the beauty when we can, and while we can. Lagos is a big cooking pot with all the ugly spices blended in with the nice aroma of basil, rosemary, thyme et co to make a great meal.
apartment building somewhere on the mainland

Apartment building in Ikoyi. source:http://bola2008.files.wordpress.com

I went on a chopper ride once, when caverton offered the air tour services. I wanted to do something different. Be away from Lagos but be in Lagos… if it makes sense. Being up there was great, just the pilot, my friend and i, not chatting, but taking it all in. There was an overall perspective… the beauty and the ugliness, everything was blended in, and Lagos was just a beautiful, peaceful place. From up, the ugliness is swallowed by the beauty. Surrounded by savannahs and the blue of the ocean and nice architectural buildings(ok, i don't know how to paint pictures that well). I mean seriously, from up there all the good and beauty we sometimes miss in our daily hustle and anger over some ugly situations overshadowed the ugliness, and crime and traffic and cheating, and fake girls and everything. It was just one fine city that I loved.
Life’s got its ugly and beautiful moments, sometimes we miss the beauty because we’re trying so hard to protect ourselves against the ugly. But the fact that there’s so much ugliness around doesn’t mean we would be better off not living. As beautiful as life is, we can't escape it's ugliness, it's like that stroke of color we need to make the picture complete.
If only we had the vantage point of God, he who seats on the throne, just like I could see from that chopper, we would understand that all is well indeed. He sees the overall picture, he knows what his plans are, plans of good for us. If we could see what God sees from up there, then we would embrace life, even when the ugliness creeps into our beauty. The ugliness can't be compared with the overall beauty of all that he gives to us, all that our life is about. So align yourself with him, and know that everything will be alright. Because Life is good indeed, especially with God on your side.
(I was going to do a photo post on the beautiful and ugly sides of Lagos, but you'll have to do with this :p )

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Mimi's 1st...

My baby is one today!!!!
I'm so excited for her. I spent so much love on her two sisters, i couldn't imagine loving anyone more... and then she came, with a love hook like no other.
I am completely taken with her.
Her eyes, they tell a story, and i just want to look in them as long as i can, trying to figure out what it sees, what it's making with the pictures life throws at it.
Her smile... it melts my heart.
She loves to dance.
She's a strong, funny and beautiful girl...
One of my favorite things to do, is pick her up and rain kisses on her. Or lie in bed with her when she sleeps and put my face next to hers, listening to her breath.
Babies create this interlude in life, you know, that place where you're lost in their innocence and the joy of being with them that you forget how cold it is outside. Because they don't know and don't care about what's going on, you have no choice but to be free from all that when you carry them.

I've been told she looks like me, i don't see the resemblance, but i take the compliment and run with it.

Here's to Michelle... my true love, my best ever 'early' Christmas gift. She's been such a blessing and i can't thank God enough for blessing us with her. There's a whole lot of greatness brewing in her, the joy of the lord will be her strength all her days. The world is her oyster and she's going to be producing a whole load of pearls with it. Love you Mimi.

P.S Due to popular perception, i have to clarify that she is my niece... my 3rd niece. Doesn't mean i don't wish all mine :)

Thursday, December 8, 2011

I.M.P.L.I.C.A.T.I.O.N: Na wetin i go talk?

I visited Mynes blog and i left in stitches, laughing all morning. All because of a pair of white pants. So I'm sharing this story here. This is a pure case of 'it wasn't me' when it truly wasn't but everything around you is a picture of 'it really was you'.

Dat morrin as I wan baff na so I dey put ear for dis babe music, Omawunmi, dat song wey she sing say, ‘If you ask me, na who I go ask?’ My madam don comot tey tey and I know say before she go come back e go still tey, so I say before I baff make I carry my body go upstairs for her and oga room. E get one fine white trouser wey she buy and I be one go taste am because I hear say person yansh dey come out well well for white trouser especially if you no wear pant or you wear g-string. Before I go continue my tori make I talk about my madam and oga dem.

My Madam: She no too good, she no too bad. Sometimes when I go market come back late, she no go even send me. She go just talk say, “Ehen, I know you went to see your boyfriend. Thank God you didn’t stay too long. Now hurry into the kitchen, my baby would soon be back.”

And sometimes when I wash clothes and the ting still get small stain, she go talk say, “You are too dirty Mary, sometimes I wonder if your undies are even clean”; and the annoying ting be say na infront of oga she go shout the whole ting so tey my oga come dey look me one kain.

My Oga: He no too good, he no too bad. Na to dey blow grammer up and down like say im be professor, but I hear say im no even finish unifersity say as im papa die, d guy jus use im papa money push im business so tey the business come grow yakata, now my oga na big man. The man no dey eye me o, na jus jeje all of us be for house.

Myself: Eferibodi know say I be cool babe. I no dey like wahala, na only to dey wish say one day I go be like my madam. I go get housemaid full ground. One go dey wash my clothes, another one go dey iron my clothes, another one go dey cook my food and the last one go dey go market, abi wetin man pickin want again for this world?

So make I continue my tori. As I enter dem madam room, I jus go straight to the wardrobe because I no wan waste time. I rush comot my wrapper, come wear the trouser. Omo men, if you see as the ting fine for my body ehn, you go wan tief me! Na as I dey comot the trouser na im I hear person dey come the room side. Omo, see as I dive enter the wardrobe, even Jackie Chan for give me award. The door open and as I hear my oga voice dey talk with im phone, e be like say dem pour cold water for my body, wetin I go talk say I dey do for dia room?

“Yes, it’s fine. I was thinking we could go for that art exhibition taking place at the art gallery.”

I no know wetin the pesin reply am but I hear as im laff.

“No, Tunde. I am married and you know I wouldn’t stray. If you bring that lady over to the exhibition, I may persuade wifey to come with me and that could be quite unpleasant for the lady and yourself. Quit trying to make me fall man, I wouldn’t do anything to hurt my wife. Look I’m going to put you on the speaker because I want to take off my clothes”

Chei, Oga abeg no comot your cloth, abeg! God where you dey? But e be like say even God dey use me play as my oga comot im cloth finish come even mess on top.

“You are crazy men! Why would you fart like that with me on speaker?” The voice from the phone ask my oga.

“Really, that’s a ridiculous question. I can do whatever I want in my house. Moreover I am alone.”

Abeg Oga you no dey alone o, no mess again abeg. Kai! The mess smell no be small. Shey na de food wey I dey cook dey make oga mess smell like this?

“Hey man, I’ve got to go. I want to have my bath and freshen up before wifey comes home. We’ll talk later.”

My oga cut the call come enter bathroom. I manage come outside as I say make I look for my wrapper wey I throw inside wardrobe wen oga dey come, na im one big abarra land for my back.

“So this is what you and my husband do, when I am not around?!”

All my body shock and piss nearly comot as I bin hear madam voice for my back. Una don forget say I no wear pant and my yansh jus chook outside as I bin wan bend down carry my wrapper. As I turn face madam, I jus weak because I know no how I wan take talk am. Make una helep me!

This is a short story by Enoquin. Read more from her on Naijastories.


Sometimes things really aren't what they seem to be. We've got to give people a chance to be heard, sometimes there really is an explanation.

The dinner date...

I was in the midst of a crowd... I was absorbed in thought, my eyes watered every now and then. Not even the music and enthusiasm of the half dressed ladies bumping and grinding could shake me. They just reminded me of the fact that I wasn't meant to be there, my skin was crawling... and so i punched furiously on my blackberry, and tried to pray in my head, that didn't work, i imagined God looking down at me with disappointment. How in the world could i have sat in this environment at one time and looked at it as normal.

I learnt a great lesson that night... Listen to the still small voice even when you're desperate to do what it warns you against, it knows what it says. It knows the drama it's saving you from. It's left to you to listen... saves you from a lot of trouble.

I remember how i was invited to some event at De Marquee a while ago, i was excited to go because i had become a social vegetable. A little dust me up wouldn't hurt nobody shei?
So it didn't sound bad... it wasn't a party per se, or so i told myself. I looked through my 'been a while since i wore' outfits and settled on a Deola Sagoe piece, matched it up and a diva was created.
But i felt uneasy as i went through my dress rehearsal. I tried to ignore the feeling of 'you shouldn't go' as i prepared for the next night.
Eventually caved in to the nag about going and put the outfit away. The kind of peace i felt when i told myself i wasn't going anymore was beyond me. It's those little feelings you listen to. I wasn't meant to be there after all. Like i wasn't meant to be out on this night.

This night that i found myself choking on the atmosphere. I refused to listen to the voice, i fought off the tiny voice that told me to just forget about it, even as my ride was running late. I ignored the feeling that tugged at me, you know that feeling when somethings trying to tell you to stop... i ignored it when i checked my lipstick in the mirror, i ignored it when i brushed my hair one last time, i ignored it when i did my pouts and took myself pictures on my phone while i waited for the car. I ignored it because it was a friday night, and my friends and i were heading out to have good food... not to a club or a party, just a date night with the ladies. (The voice told me it would be fun if i go to nandos instead, and see a movie after that, by myself, spend some time alone. The voice sounded crazy for saying that, why go alone when i could go somewhere nicer with 'friends'.)
Sometimes i am a junkie when it comes to food. It's beyond reason, i get the shakes... seriously.
You should see me when i crave a Mcdonalds' and i can't get it at that moment... not a nice sight.
So, what is it with women and getting in trouble because of food? Didn't Eve get had because of food? a little red juicy apple?

Well I got the food.
It wasn't worth it. My brain had over-hyped the need to eat out. That's what it does, tells you how bad you need something, and the moment you get it and realize how it's not worth it, Ms brain looks lost and shrugs, 'why so mad' when you give her the eye.
The restaurant happened to be a sort of club on friday nights. I didn't know that.
I was still out at 2am. Last time i was out beyond 12midnight was the church's vigil...
I kinda felt violated. Why did they have to bring me here? I was on the verge of mad crazy.
I couldn't wait for the girls to STOP and take me home, but of course that would be till they had sipped every bit of fun from the place. A cab would have cost me about 70quid that i didn't have on me. This wasn't the fun i envisioned. My night was to be food, girl talk and home in two hours. Not food, hang around and dance the night away.

I got people coming over offering to buy champagne, and all i could do was seat there amazed, i totally forgot how the system worked in this world. Flash the bubbly, get her number or more if you're lucky. It gets a little heady, you start to feel good with yourself when you notice the attention you get, you almost forget what you're about. But thank God 'almost' doesn't mean you actually forget.
It wasn't hard for them to see how unimpressed i was with their offers.
Maybe i should have offered them salvation in exchange for their champagne? Now that would have been something. Me in red lipstick moving from person to person, and offering them Jesus for free while they boogied.
(And have you noticed how clubs play Christian songs in their mix? like seriously? One minute they were dancing to 'sex, booty, drugs' and next doing the church sort of dance to 'igwe'. I laugh in korean)
It was a long night indeed, and i couldn't say "Thank you Jesus" enough when it was time to go home. All i could think of was 'never again, i should have listened to the voice that told me to chill on my own.

As much as i didn't go there to party, this feeling of guilt came over me, i felt like i had spent the night clubbing. I eventually realized it was an attack on my faith, something i had to go through to teach me a lesson on grace and Christianity. Yes i sat through the music and watched people dance and all, yes i didn't participate but i don't know... all i know is i couldn't pray the next day. I just felt so cut off from God. I was brooding about my night for so long that you would think i was jumping on tables and dancing with a bottle of champagne in my hands all night. Then it hit me, the only reason i felt that way was because that's what the devil wanted... to cut my line of communication with God, feel like i'm far away from him, and the more i beat myself about not listening to the spirit going out when i was advised not to, the more i would try hiding from God, and with time, I'd keep drifting away from him in my state of non-issue guilt. Till i find myself truly cut off from him. That got me over the night fast enough.
All because of food fa? i had to go through that torture.

I think most Christians go through this, sometimes we fail, we are less than perfect in our walk with God, and so we run away with the shame of it all. We refuse to face him like Adam, we hide behind the leaves and hide from God, we refuse to pray so we don't have to face him. We forget his grace is sufficient.
The devils victory is not in his getting you to fall into sin, it's in his making you believe there's no use getting up again. 'After all, you fell last week and you're back on the floor again after asking for forgiveness, God wouldn't listen anymore' he makes you believe. That's the mindset many have, and so they drift away from grace that is readily available for them if only they ask. Show yourself naked and ask to be covered again with grace. "The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again. But one disaster is enough to overthrow the wicked." proverbs 24:16 Don't let that one disaster get you lying on the floor like a piece of thrash.

As much as i try to limit and screen the friends i hang out with, i kind of judged this one night situation wrong. We were to go out for a lunch date next, i quickly declined. Not even the restaurant they chose and the food i could have had could tempt me to go out with them anymore... The fear of food is the beginning of wisdom indeed.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

He's right there...

Some days i dress up and i know without a shadow of a doubt that 'This is it!!!!'
I don't need any compliment to make me feel good about my dressing, i don't need anyone to validate the look. I go out with confidence, and care not if i'm complimented or not. Because i know.
Then there are days when i dress up and i don't feel it, i feel just thrown together and unpretty. My hair doesn't feel just right, i would have looked better with this or that and something else. But then with this state of mind, i step outside and everyone is complimenting on how lovely i look, and o how so pretty and bla bla bla, and in my head I'm like seriously?
Was on the bus one day, and this sweet old man asked if i was a movie star. I wasn't feeling me that day and i just felt a burst of adrenaline after he complimented me. I really am good the way i am, i might not always see it, but it's there for sure. There is no denying it, in the prettiest of dresses or with the messy hair. I am amazing just the way i am. :p

I was reminded of those moments some days ago. They show me how sometimes we feel Gods presence so strong in our life, that we don't need anyone to tell us that God is indeed God. Because everything seems to be working out so well. We feel him just seating there and raining kisses on our face when our needs are met in quick successions... When life as they say, is good.
And then those moments when life feels low, we're depressed, we loose our joy, and we are loosely hanging on to our faith. Our world seems to be falling apart and we get pushed to a point in our despair that we scream at God, 'God where are you?'
When we're waiting for the promise, when our hearts are heavy with pain and door after door is shut in our face.
'I say to God my Rock,
"Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?"
My bones suffer mortal agony
as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"
Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.'
Psalm 42:9-10
Photo Source here

If only we remember Gods' word "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." Hebrews 13:5
The moments when i feel less of a chic are the moments i get the nicest words thrown at me.
Those moments when we feel God must have taken a stroll from our lifes, when we feel he isn't there, are moments when he is most visible.
Because his strength is made manifest in our weakness. "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9
Who says you'd still be standing, be able to get out of bed and live despite all you're going through if God wasn't with you?
Who says you wouldn't have cut yourself, or overdosed on drugs to end your life if God wasn't there with you?

Only Gods grace gives us the strenght to keep going while we wait.
Only his grace helps us push through the challenges even with the tears in our eyes. Only his grace dares us to want to get up and out of the place we're at.
You haven't turned to prostitution/runs girl, you haven't turned to drugs or internet fraud even in your desperation. Only God with you could have kept you.
He's right there with us, being our strength in our weakest moments.
He's right there, and that's why he says "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." Isaiah 43:2

The footprint poem best describes God in our down times. source:http://us.123rf.co
I'm having one of those moments where somewhere in my heart i dared to question. (I really didn't know i was until i started writing this)
Walking through another seemingly hopeless moment, feeling like the enemy is coming in like a flood, feeling like i'm about to be consumed by doubt ... but i was reminded of how God is always there. Funny how he used my 'chic' moments to show me that.
Thus i wouldn't dare look away from God because i think he's left me as the pain increases (and trust me, i am in a lot of pain both physically/emotionally) I wouldn't drop my faith and look for an alternative. I will hold on in my pain, hold on in my fear, hold on as i feel the water rise above me, hold on as the fire is heated up, knowing that he is there. And because he is, i will come out victorious, for i am more than a conqueror through him who loves me (Romans 8:37).
In sickness... whatever the duration and discomfort, the end shows that i have already conquered it. In chasing my dreams, whatever the obstacles, i have already conquered. In living, whatever the fear... whatever it be, i know the end, and the end is a victorious one.
And so, 'Thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.' 1 Corinthians 15:57

 If you're ever down in the valley, just trust in him, knowing he is there... "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." Psalm 23:4

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Rumor has it...

Gossip needn’t be false to be evil – there’s a lot of truth that shouldn’t be passed around.
~ Frank A. Clark
Every one has an opinion about every other person. It becomes a problem when you paint a graphic picture of it and peddle it out as a fact. Trying to bring someone down just because you have the power to do so with your tongue. Now thats plain crazy.
It used to be fun hearing stories about certain people, because i sort of looked at them from far and thought they had it all good, they were people i couldn't be, because i saw myself as a lilliputian, instead of the Gulliver i really am. A little smear or two on their perfection wouldn't hurt nobody, and so when the stories came in all juiced up, i swallowed with glee never having any reason to doubt the source. That's what a small mind does to you.

These days i have learned to give everyone the benefit of a doubt. The fact that everyone is whispering the same story doesn't make it true. I have loads of male friends, and because i do, i can't even begin to count the number of them i have been said to date... enough to make Madonna blush, my mother used the governments' money to build a mansion, she is feeding off the government (and I'm still saving money to buy a bag o), my sister is gearing up to be the second wife of a certain governor, another sister is on the neck of some boy (she can't even stand saying hello to) to hasten the wedding date... Every other day is another story that gets the mouth hanging open.
He said, she said, they said... The moments when the rumors and gossips turned on me have made me realize how people have fallen victims and have been accused of things they have no idea about. Most times, all the juicy gossips are baseless talks to bring a person down... I wonder how a person sits and weaves a whole bunch of lies into a true picture they see, making it a believable fact. They say there is no smoke without a fire, but seriously, lighting a match to cook a meal is all it takes for them to paint a picture of a burning forest.
"Gossip can go under other names-backbiting, slander, rumors, hearsay, tale-telling. At its best, gossip whispers dubious hints, repeats questionable information, turns the light on another person a few degrees to the left, or suggests wrongdoing without facts to back up the suggestion. Gossip is a sin, for it depreciates personhood, often trying to make someone else look bad so you or I can look good. God hates gossip. We should too."
 iLumina interactive Bible
When it comes to girl friends and friends in general, i'm a bit weary on embracing the new. I make no efforts. Sometimes out of being polite and not wanting to be seen as a snub sends me to the hangouts i really want no part of. Friends of friends that i'm better off not knowing.
Recently i had a misunderstanding with a close friend because her friends cooked up a story with the words i uttered. Basically, i put water in a pot and went to sleep, and they put the pot on the fire, added ingredients and made a nice pot of porridge with this issue.
I have been living my life for the past couple of months oblivious to the fact that this non issue has gone from ear to ear, into court rooms of girl gossip and have been judged by people i do not even know. I had no idea they said all this things, until recently when i got to have a taste of the meal they cooked with my words and i was stunned.
So haters really do exist? I thought every body liked me :p...
 Do not pass along false reports. Do not cooperate with evil people by telling lies on the witness stand. (Exodus 23:1)
I refused to get too upset about these girls because somewhere at the back of my mind, i knew what the root of the problem was. I don't have as much as they do, but somewhere within those pretty girls lies insecure souls thirsty for the blood of a girl they can never be. I don't hold a grudge, i'll see them and attempt to air kiss them(if they let me) I'm too big to deal with pettiness any more. Besides what better way to deal with your haters than ignoring their hate? "if your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat;
if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head,
and the Lord will reward you. Proverbs 25:21-22

I found this poem years ago and i love how it sums all this up...
I hear that since you left me, things go from bad to worse
That the good lord quite rightly has set a signal curse
On you, your house and lover.
(I hear moreover she proves twice as screwed-up and saddened dear as me)
They say your days are tasteless, flattened, disjointed thinned across the waste by my absence, 
Loves' skeleton has grinned.
Perfect. I trust my sources of information are sound?
Or is it just some worthless rumor
I’ve been spreading around?

There's an Irish Saying that goes like this “Who gossips with you will gossip of you” Brings back memories of when i would seat with this chic and all she'd do was gossip and insult people, it was always fun to hear the stories, but i was always afraid of leaving, so i would end up seating there for longer than i should, because i knew without a shadow of a doubt i was the next target, i just couldn't imagine what she'd be saying about me next.
What you don’t see with your eyes, don’t witness with your mouth.
~Jewish Proverb
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