who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

On Okadas & Traffic Wardens

I closed early from work one day, and as I was driving out of Adeyemo Alakija, towards the Ozumba Mbadiwe junction, a traffic warden (the unofficial ones that we all seem to find ourselves respecting) stood directing traffic at the junction that leads to Falomo bridge. He motioned for me to move and I followed his instruction… Now I usually double check when I’m asked to move, especially by the unofficial wardens, but I didn’t this time. It was going to be a good evening, I was going out to dinner, yay food!!!! 
Just as I moved, a bike/okada came from nowhere, and I ran into him. I don’t know how it happened, but I know it wasn’t my fault, he didn’t stop when he was asked to stop(what okada riders are famous for.) 
Thus I had my first okada drama.

I was frustrated and angry especially when he started acting up like it was my fault… It was embarrassing, people gathered, people told their side of the story that vindicated me. (the traffic warden just went on with his 'work') I just stood there, quite and mad… people told me to drive off, the okada man wouldn’t let me, even after his passenger acknowledged he was at fault. I continued staring at the hoard of solidarity crowd of okada riders speaking grammars of going to their association office and paying for the bike repairs.(they just gather not caring that it is the stupidity of their colleagues that is at fault)

Just like an angel, a hilux van filled with mobile police men drove past, saw the crowd… or me to be precise, reversed and saved the day.
The okada rider supporters club quickly dispersed when they saw the mopols (proof that they knew they were in the wrong). The okada man still wouldn’t move after the Mopols heard the story that found him guilty, he lay in front of my tyre insisting i pay for a broken part of his okada. The mopols were enraged, and they took my burden on their head when they saw how stubborn the guy was proving to be, they pushed him away from my car and i drove off. I don’t know how they ended up. 

I wasted about an hour on the road when i could have been home preparing for a great night out. All because i didn't look twice when i was asked to move.

Lagos is no stranger to the unofficial traffic wardens. They spring up at every hangout spot and wear their invisible unofficial badge. I remember how outside Number ten, auto lounge or one of those places, there’d be a dozen of them trying to direct you when you're leaving... turn your hand, oya come, wait, come small small, come come come, stop…. Oya straight your hand and bla blab la… You obey at your own drunken peril. 

What’s my point? The fact that there’s a traffic warden doesn’t mean you don’t look for yourself when he tells you to move, there are crazy people out there who don’t follow instructions and you will crash into them if you don’t look for yourself before moving.
It’s like with traffic lights, fact that it's green doesn’t mean you shouldn’t watch out before moving, there are crazy people who jump lights, I should know, I’ve done it before(pardon me) and I have been in a convoy that sped through a red light. It’s your right of way, but tell it to the other guys.

Fact that someone somewhere says Fred is a liar and a thief doesn't mean you should let your mind believe that when you don't have any reason to think that. Don't move based on gossip and hear say.
Fact that your best friend brings a juicy deal to you doesn't mean you should hop on board just because... You never know what you're been roped into, do your own research.
Fact that you have a pastor or christian blogs and self-help books telling you what to do does not mean you shouldn’t be cautious, have a look for yourself on the topics they touch on. Don't agree with everything you read or hear just because you feel they must know what they speak about... study the bible and know for yourself.
Don't conform to every trend just because someone editing some magazine tells you it's in. Look for yourself to see if the garment fits, if not let it go. 
You should be able to look for yourself before moving, because when you crash, who would you blame?

Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world. 1 John 4:1

These days, we can't be too careful, because not every traffic warden on the road is trained for the job, people just stand at a spot when they feel like and attempt directing traffic, telling you to move when you should be waiting… there are faux pastors springing up and giving instructions that’ll lead to your crash because you refuse to look before moving. Remember, “The lord told me is no substitute for the bible says” Voddie Baucham 
If a word for you(from God) through your pastor doesn't correspond with God's word in the bible, then you obey at your own risk.

Monday, July 30, 2012

Aha Moment With Waffi English...

I read Ali Baba’s blog The book Of Ali’ and his translation of Matthew 4  is so hilarious. It helped me understand and relate well with the temptation of Jesus. I’ve looked at the temptation of Jesus as well, the ‘temptation of Jesus’. It’s always been a far off happening, something out of the ordinary, beyond anything any ordinary person would go through. An event that happened a long time ago to God’s own son. More like his temptation was on a higher scale, kind of different from what we face because He is God and all… turning stone into bread? What human would the devil ask to turn stone into bread? So you see, i understood the temptation, but my minds eyes couldn't relate to it.

“Devil, that is Frank Edoho, con smile and frown at the same time, con face Jesus korokoro, (you see say him no DEY fear him head) and come and say, "You see all those things, crude oil, diamond, gold, babes,... Everything everything! I go dash you, if you just say migwo and tuuuuuaaale for me." This time Jesus Hunger don mix with vex turn to provoking. Jesus con Parannoyed join the matter. Bros Jay just hold Devil collar with one hand draw him e year, with the other hand... con warn am, "Fade commot for here Satan! Abi you no know say E DEY book say, "Make we DEY tuuuuaaaale only Jehovah and only him we go DEY butu for" so before the spit i spit for ground dry and I open my eye, Make you don vaaaa from here!”  Matthew 4:9-10(Ali Baba translation)

For those of you clueless about the language… (lol, warri English gives me aches for days trying to break down) Here’s the bible verse put plainly for you

“ Next the devil took him to the peak of a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory.
 “I will give it all to you,” he said, “if you will kneel down and worship me.”
“Get out of here, Satan,” Jesus told him. “For the Scriptures say,
‘You must worship the LORD your God and serve only him” (NLT)

showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory” Doesn’t really take your imaginations there. It’s like me reading fairy-tales all over again, and seeing pictures of kings with kingdoms that are far off in my imagination. But Ali’s translation jumped out and grabbed at me. It’s funny how it takes the complicated, in this case, the waffi language, to understand the simple. “crude oil, diamonds, gold, babes…”  You see, that’s more down to earth, that’s a picture my minds eyes captures easily, that’s something I’m quick to relate with in my day. (add luxury holidays, private jets, popularity etc)
That was the aha moment for me, especially when i remembered the verse that said He was tempted in every way, yet without sin For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin” ( Hebrews 4:15 )” I so get it now.

Today we get that temptation thrown at us everyday… compromise on your standard just a little, and you get the best of the best. Turning stone into bread? Being the accounting officer and choosing not to get your daily bread from the stone(money) you've been put in-charge of... shunning corruption. Jumping off the pinnacle for angels to catch you? Oh, just indulge in this sin just once, after all, He's a loving God, He'll always forgive. etc The temptations are so real to me now.

Whom you face is who your heart conforms to… face God and invariably you worship Him, bowed to Him with your butt stuck out at the devil… turn your back on Him and you worship the devil. So whenever we choose to compromise our faith, to give into the temptation of bowing down to the wrong person for the juicy promises of the world(packed with hidden clauses), we stick our butts out at God.

It's not impossible to resist temptations, because Jesus was tried in everyway and He overcame, thus we can be victorious over sin too cos He’s made the same grace on His life available to us.…

Before Jesus open eye SEF, Devil don bale! Body phone am, because, the angels begin land like Nigerian police after the gbege don finish... Come DEY form busy body give Jesus... But na only Angel Gabriel Jesus get him time... Him bring KFC with cold sprite. “ Vs 11 (Ali Baba Translation)

“Then the devil went away, and angels came and took care of Jesus.”Vs 11  (NLT)

After you have held on to your God and refused to compromise on His standards, even when you feel like you're about falling off the edge, He will strengthen you, and meet your needs in a big way. It says the angels took care of Jesus after His temptation… God will take care of us. Thats a thought we should hold on to when we find ourselves in the thick of temptations. 

Shun the easy way that leads to death, shun the instant gratification that leaves you with a heavy long term debt, shun it all and get a glorious provision… and angels came and took care of Jesus. Know He’ll surely take care of you too. "But blessed are those who trust in the LORD and have made the LORD their hope and confidence. Jeremiah 17:7

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Glam Kaftans...

I got a lovely fushia embellished kaftan from pretty Chichi Iroha’s 'Tunica Handmade Designs' and I love it!!!

I love kaftans, I love that they are fluid, easy to wear and aggressively make you feel feminine without even trying. Gives that effortlessly glam look.
I’m so excited about the launch of her website www.tunicahandmadedesigns.com 
Check out the website for affordable (trust me, they are…) and truly amazing embellished kaftans and tunics with added spice of accessories to go with it; jewelry, slippers and purses. You’ll thank me (if you’re not on a shopping fast that is)

 These and loads more on the website.
"Whether sunbathing at the beach, or going for an event or a wedding or a simple laid back look, the Tunica woman treasures her appearance. Wherever she goes, she manages to look fabulous, without seeming as though she’s trying too hard. The carefree, creative, and independent spirit of the brand is blended with sultry silhouettes and intricate ornaments to provide an eclectic look that is sure to turn heads in admiration and respect"

Thursday, July 26, 2012

In Awe...

I just realized I clocked 5 years on blogsville in June. It's been one amazing ride...

These are the words of Sarah Henson from her recent post  titled 'Check Your foundation'
... However, the truth is I never started this blog for people. I started this blog for me. I began this blog so that I could determine whether or not I truly had a gift, a voice, a calling greater than what I was doing. I have found hope in the response that God sends through you all. When its time for me to write I completely zone out, pray, and ask God to use me. I have re-read posts and been in awe that God used me to write a word that my heart needed itself. I believe in my gift because I believe in the God who gave it to me... 
It's amazing how the words spilling from a person completely different from you, one you've never met are words that resound in your heart. She's put to words, thoughts I've harbored within. This thing I'm doing right here? It's scary... It scares me, but God gives me the strength and the zeal. I have put my confidence in Him, and He continues to move as I put my hands on the keyboard. I read old posts and get encouraged by them, I am thrilled that it's my blog and I am left in awe that He chooses to do whatever it is that He's doing here through me.

It's scary getting mails from you guys(thanks for all the mails, and just in case you didn't get a reply, please let me know... I realize some of my replies gets lost in transit, probably mobbed in some cyber alley:). Can't figure out why. I really do reply every mail)
Whenever I read a mail from this blog, my heart skips a beat, and I say a prayer for wisdom to give the right answers. I want to run and hide in fear sometimes... I'm thinking, why would anyone think of me of all people to share problems with? I'm just a girl who blogs. Well, that's what I was when I opened this account five years ago.
But I know something bigger than me is at work, I know I have to sit down and be still long enough to absorb it... running away with a desperate hope for a smooth sail away from all this would only get me caught in the middle of a storm, thrown overboard, swallowed by a fish and after all the trouble, get back to the place I was running from in the first place, I might as well do it the easy way. 

I never really believed in my writing, I just knew I loved writing... Thanks to everyone of you for the show of love. God has used you to make me believe in myself. Every moment I start to doubt, a mail shows up telling me wonderful things that are so sincere, and everything beyond what mere flattery can dish out. I am truly thankful.

I'm working on my book. Yayyyy!!!! I never would have been so confident about a book without this blog. I'm excited about it, It's a scary thought too, but when has fear ever won a battle? I wouldn't bow to it, thus I stay excited and encouraged by the encouragements I get from you. 

Thank you for making me realize that I have a voice, and it's been heard.

And Thank God for not giving up on me, for seeing me the way that He sees me, with a view that makes Him trust me with His words. I am in awe of His love and grace.
My expression of awe isn't as cute as Marie,Toulouse and Berlioz's :) 

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Fear Sells...

Fear sells.

But what happens to your product when fear is overcome? People stop buying, your subscribers refuse to renew their subscription and you’re left to start strategizing all over again. 

Salvation is being sold cheaply, just like this ofili's drawing depicts....
Source: Ofilispeaks.com
Sometimes we end up sounding like desperate insurance sales men, saying just about anything to get people buying our plans, to get a bonus from the CEO of Salvation & co.
We’re selling salvation based on fear… that’s a very shaky foundation. What happens when people get over the initial fear of ‘we’re in the end times’ and ‘hell is real’? 
Sometimes it takes just an extra ten-second stare at Bimpe to drive the fear of hell out of a man. It takes waiting for two years and still seeing the world as it is to drive the fear of 'the world is coming to an end' out of a person.

What happens when a man gets saved because he’s sick and scared of dying and of the unknown? He recovers and soon enough he’s back to the clubs and the skirt chasing. He can always subscribe to the insurance plan when there is need. Or whenever he goes to the salvation fair in the place of a church to hear the pastor preach fire and brimstone, or whenever he stumbles upon one of the numerous blogs to hear one sermon or the other.

So maybe fear pulls you through the door… but it shouldn’t take long for us to feel the love that fills us with a want for God based on love and not of fear of the unknown. Some were saved through fear, others come in through gratitude… it doesn’t matter what brought you in, what matters is sustaining yourself, and the best way is through building a foundation of love. You can only begin to appreciate salvation when you fall in love with Jesus, when you realize how deep His love for you is. When you get lost in His love.

In love, you give out of love, not out of fear that God wouldn’t bless you or He'd be mad at you for not dropping an offering…
 ”don’t use fear in scaring your clients into spending money” Okechukwu Ofili… how laziness saved my life.
In Love, you shun sin, because you don't want to hurt the one you love and not because you're scared of hell. We've got philosophers everywhere, all it takes is a day on twitter to sway your belief in heaven and hell. But love keeps you grounded, love doesn't sway you when the trumpet fails to sound tomorrow or next. Love doesn't put you off worshiping with other believers because you hear what one or two pastors do under the cover of church. Fear makes it easy and gives reason to keep drifting away from the faith.

I shouldn’t serve God because I am scared of hell. My love for Jesus should scare the hell out of me. I should serve God because I feel his love, because He loved me first, even in my unlovable phase.

Are you driven by fear or by love?

Monday, July 16, 2012

The Princess And The Pea...

The Princess and the pea is a story by Hans Christian Anderson… 

There was once a prince, and he wanted a princess, but then she must be a real Princess. He traveled right around the world to find one, but there was always something wrong. There were plenty of princesses, but whether they were real princesses he had great difficulty in discovering; there was always something which was not quite right about them. So at last he had come home again, and he was very sad because he wanted a real princess so badly.
One evening there was a terrible storm; it thundered and lightninged and the rain poured down in torrents; indeed it was a fearful night.
In the middle of the storm somebody knocked at the town gate, and the old King himself sent to open it.
It was a princess who stood outside, but she was in a terrible state from the rain and the storm. The water streamed out of her hair and her clothes; it ran in at the top of her shoes and out at the heel, but she said that she was a real princess.

‘Well we shall soon see if that is true,’ thought the old Queen, but she said nothing. She went into the bedroom, took all the bed clothes off and laid a pea on the bedstead: then she took twenty mattresses and piled them on top of the pea, and then twenty feather beds on top of the mattresses. This was where the princess was to sleep that night. In the morning they asked her how she slept.
‘Oh terribly bad!’ said the princess. ‘I have hardly closed my eyes the whole night! Heaven knows what was in the bed. I seemed to be lying upon some hard thing, and my whole body is black and blue this morning. It is terrible!’
They saw at once that she must be a real princess when she had felt the pea through twenty mattresses and twenty feather beds. Nobody but a real princess could have such a delicate skin.
So the prince took her to be his wife, for now he was sure that he had found a real princess, and the pea was put into the Museum, where it may still be seen if no one has stolen it.
Now this is a true story.

So maybe we think it’s unrealistic right? Well not quite. There’s a King out there looking for a true princess as a bride for His son. And today He still uses the test of the pea in the story. There are loads of princesses out there who aren’t true princesses.
A true princess has a heart that’s delicate, sensitive and pure. She has the life of her father living in her. Her heart has been transformed from that of stone, which is unfeeling and insensitive, to that of flesh… A new heart will I give you and a new spirit will I put within you, and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.” Ezekiel 36:26 
Her heart is so chaste, just like the delicate skin of the princess in the story. 

The fear of God distinguishes her from the impostors out there; it pushes her to do the things that please the father. The new heart sends away the sinful and rebellious attitude of the old heart.
Thus just as the princess couldn’t sleep with the pea under her mattress, a true princess heart is so delicate that she is bugged out by a little discomfort of sin, one as tiny as a pea sends her on a crazy frenzy of discomfort… bugged out and sleepless until she runs to God to tell him what she’s done and how sorry she is. Because she chooses to be the righteousness of God in Christ, her spirit/heart is delicate and sensitive to anything that would contaminate it or cause her daddy to grieve over her.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come 2 Corinthians 5:17

A heart of stone is cold and would feel nothing even with a dozen peas and rocks tugging at it. It would lie without blinking and cheat without missing a heartbeat… that outburst of anger, that snide remark, that gossip, that little white lie would not convict a heart of flesh, and even if it did, it would be so hardened that it'd see no reason to ask forgiveness. 
 “…Don't you know that a little yeast leavens the whole batch of dough? 1Corinthians 5:6 
That 'little sin' left untouched is all it takes, just like yeast to rise and take over the whole of our being. It’s all it takes to assist our downfall from glory.
I mean if as a princess you can comfortably sit in a club for hours without a little tug(even when you're not drinking or dancing) *kanye shrug*
A transformed heart would be bugged out about being at the wrong place, a heart of flesh would convict a princess for stepping out of line, she’d be so black and blue with discomfort that she’d run to daddy asking for mercy. "BLESSED (HAPPY, fortunate, prosperous, and enviable) is the man who walks and lives not in the counsel of the ungodly [following their advice, their plans and purposes], nor stands [submissive and inactive] in the path where sinners walk, nor sits down [to relax and rest] where the scornful [and the mockers] gather." Psalm 1:1(i guess we missed that memo)

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me Psalm 51:10

For the princesses wearing fake crowns… It’s time to be the true princess you were created to be, to make the prince stop rejecting you as His bride… I have seen your abominations, your adulteries and neighings, your lewd whorings, on the hills in the field. Woe to you, O Jerusalem! How long will it be before you are made clean?” Jeremiah 13:27 How long?

To the true princesses, hold on tight, even when you feel beaten and out of sorts with delay, lack etc just like the princess in the story was beaten by the weather and drenched at the palace gate… (Many evils confront the [consistently] righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. Psalm 34:19) Don’t be so carried away with the issues of life and the struggles that you don’t notice the pea under the mattress. Keep pampering your heart of flesh, spend time in the spa of the word and protect it even in the raging storm… 
Let the pea hurt, you never know when the true test of your royalty is being played out. 
Be an authentic bride of Christ... chosen by the King himself.

(i don't write this on a high chair of self righteousness, I speak this truth for myself too... As much as i'm saying, i'm saying to myself too.)

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Who Are You?

Nigerians love the "do you know who i am?" question, often rhetorical used by people with little or no substance to intimidate their way through situations. It often sends fear to the person asked... what if it's one 'big' oga? I often wonder what the reaction would be if their question is replied with a defiant "Who are you?" Probably a lot of stuttering.

What if while taking a walk one lovely evening, you come upon a hookah smoking caterpillar and like Alice, he asks you “who are you?” In this case we're sure he doesn't want to hear the fact that you're the son of a governor, of the CEO of an oil company or wife to a billionaire. The caterpillar's question goes beyond your title, it strips you of the labels and goes deep inside. It helps to be prepared so you don’t have to have all that confusing brain busting talk with him like Alice.
who are you?
The world Is chaotic, and filled with unpredictability. Without a sense of self to anchor you, you’ll drift wherever the tide takes you. Toss and turn and be different people all in one, to a point where you loose the plot completely. You're photoshopped to the last detail, nothing , not even your walk is yours, it’s more of Miriam’s, your talk mirrors Abu’s and style is more of Sophie’s. You don’t even recognize you anymore. It’s too late to recall the picture, thus the world sees you as this photoshopped person who you’re not so sure you are. Conflicted, out of your head.
Who are you? When you dine with the world, the more you eat, the more you outgrow the outfit of the real you, and fit into an illusion, addicted to the nothingness you’re feeding on. Shallow, insecure, greedy, and vain. It’s all about what they expect of you, never what your (heavenly) Father expects of you. It’s about what they think of you, not what He thinks of you and what you think of yourself.
The world is crazy… don't ignore that fact. One moment you’re starving to be a size zero, doing the latest diet trend, next they say you need a little more flesh, suits you more. And just as you’re stocking your fridge up, someone wakes up to say zero is back in… Purple is the new black, which was pink just yesterday, which was blue a few hours ago. It’s a crazy world, and if you’ve got nothing to hold on to, the craziness will conquer you.
One minute the world wants you to be this deep intellect, the next they want you to be just like Kim Kardashan, even though they diss her…
In your uncertainty, you become insecure, thus your life and your whole existence is defined by the clothes you wear, the crowd you mingle with, who writes on your wall on facebook or who tweets at you, the restaurants you’re seen at and the magazines you appear in. It doesn’t matter that you hate sushi or look like ‘willy willy’ in that lace wig… that’s what the world says you should do and so be it.
Your mind has been so invaded, and like a child you’re lost and not sure which is your right hand or your left anymore. There are faint pictures of what used to be wrong as a child, but as an adult it doesn’t matter anymore because everyone else is doing it. Your desperation to fit in defines you, your shopping sprees are your devotions, and the tabloids and fashion magazines are your bibles.
It’s time to stop and take a deep breath.
Save yourself from this crooked generation. Acts 2:40b
As a Christian, you weren’t born to fit in; you were made to make a difference.  To be a misfit. You were not born to be enslaved by the world’s standard, which is below the heavenly standard “God paid a high price for you, so don't be enslaved by the world.” 1 Corinthians 7:23
As a child of the king of kings, you are royalty. Don’t you know that ye are gods? A prince/princess born to reign, with a father who loves you?
Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. Romans 12:2(msg)

The world, just like the white rabbit would tell you it’s right all the time… if you’re unaware of who and the one you belong to, you’ll end up believing it everytime it sells an idea to you as the accepted norm… I love this song exchange between Alice and the White rabbit…

John Barry - The Last Word Is Mine .mp3
Found at bee mp3 search engine
White Rabbit: I'm right all the time so just refrain
disobedience and its ingredients are just not entertaining
don't answer me back and we'll be fine
the last word is mine.
So go on and do as you're told Mary, at once

Alice: I can't be Mary
cause Mary is daunty while Mary is fat
Mary has freckles and sings like a cat, I'm not Mary.

White Rabbit: Don't be stupid, of course you are
if I say you're Mary, then you're Mary
you don't make me butch, my word is law
can't diminishing it we must be finishing
you are a pest and it's bored
be off with you child, go sock and thime
the last word is mine.
So go on and fetch my gloves and fan Mabel, at once

Alice: I can't be Mabel
cause Mabel is skinny she looks like a leaf
Mabel is stingy she's ever so mean
I'm not Mabel.

White Rabbit: If I say you are Mabel, then you are Mabel
you won't ever learn that I am right
you're unteachable, your friends unreachable
in fact you're not very bright
I'll tell you once more, then I'll resign
the last word is mine.

Like Alice, wake up and realize that you’re not Mabel, neither are you Mary, nor Ahmed or Ik… Push back and stand up to the world as intimidating as it looks when it defines who you should be. Hook your soul to Christ, the anchor that keeps you from drifting far away from who you are, the one that rocks you steady when the world threatens to sink you. 

So God has given both his promise and his oath. These two things are unchangeable because it is impossible for God to lie. Therefore, we who have fled to him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us. This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God’s inner sanctuary.” Hebrews 6:18-19
“Now unto Him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the Presence of His Glory with exceeding joy.” Jude 1:24 

Who are you? Child of the king. Royalty. Standing out and not blending in, easily found in the crowd and not lost in it. Born to set kingdom standards and not conform to the worlds standard. The one who has the heart of the king. The  daughter/son that Jesus loves... Or The one who follows the trends regardless, lost in a crowd of nothingness, a prince/princess choosing to be a slave in the world when you can rule as a king in your fathers house... 

Sunday, July 8, 2012

All About Oga Ben...

I was overly indulged in my first month in uni. I was tolerated because I went to my school against my strongest will. I had the driver all to myself. I would go to school with him and he would have to wait for me till I was done for the day. 
I don’t feel guilty about keeping him waiting all day, because I know Oga Ben enjoyed this parole… In fact he would interchange cars; the audi one day and the Mercedes 190 the next day. I would ask him why he changed the car and he would say “e no good make everybody know the car you go use… just incase” I couldn’t think of anyone trying to assassinate or kidnap me, i was not the daughter of a governor or a minister or a 'big man', so what was his precaution about? Ii didn't take long to figure he was serving his own interest.
So it was, my Oga Ben and I, cruising campus together.
One day we went to school, it was meant to be a brief visit to the hostel, gist with my friends and head back home… Everything was going according to plan until we heard a gunshot outside the hostel. We all panicked. There was mayhem outside with people running helter skelter. My first instinct was to run out to the waiting car… you know how in the movies the getaway car screeches to a stop as you run out and the driver throws open the door and drives off even before you’ve closed it shut?
Well what a shocker. I ran out and I saw the car screech quite all right, but it wasn’t coming towards me, it was speeding off. Oga Ben who wanted to change cars for security reasons apparently never got the action movie memo. He zoomed off without me.
A cultist was killed… Students chased after and caught up with the culprits who were from a rival cult from another school. Jungle justice was served and they were burnt… panic turned to excitement for the students… I couldn’t stand to be in that environment. All I wanted was to go home.
After a couple of minutes outside the hostel, trying to figure out how to get away, and praying there’d be no more gunshots, I saw oga Ben cruise towards me smiling… I can’t remember the excuse he gave when i got in the car, something about him going to eat. He denied driving off in the face of danger leaving me there on my own. Mercy. I miss that man though.
I got used to the idea of the school being my school before long and wasn’t so uptight about it. I fell in love with okadas and could do without having a car with me in school; to Oga Ben’s dismay I’m sure. I learned how to drive just in time to drive myself to my first birthday party in university.
Oga Ben was sacked for some reason I can’t remember. He was one hell of a character... What i haven't figured out is if he was actually able to make an impression on any of the girls on campus.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Hush... It's All Hip Now.

Back then, I wore red nail polish and my friends were like... "no wayyyyyy!!!! that's for old women" and probable, wayward girls. But i loved the red polish, and i was a little pressured to take it off and get more hip with nude colors.

Then we'd see some women dress up in say green shoes and a red dress and yellow bag(something of that sort) and we'd have a trip, saying 'color riots' 'how ugly' and all sorts... We'd shake our heads in pity for her children.

Today? Red nail polish is hip... I'm allowed to be open with my obsession, i paint my nails red all day, everyday. It's cool, it's accepted and those who weren't so impressed with my choice then, rock it real good now.

No one's laughing at the yellow and green and red outfit. Color blocking is the isshhhh and it's beautiful and everyone is doing it(although we have been tortured with a bit of over-kills.)
Do you remember when you were young and a little coy about admitting you had a boyfriend? You'd shy away from the topic, or agree but deny you even hold hands? Now, no one cares about anything. We post pictures that pop on facebook, and we'd be insulted to have you suggest we shouldn't move in together... ahh, times have changed, its back to the days before the old days.

Do you remember when you didn't know anyone who read porn? Not because no one did, but because they hid it from you.  Today, porn in the form of a book is flying off the shelves, outselling 'harry potter' and 'twilight' series... Hello fifty shades of stupidity Grey. From what i hear it's poorly written too... like a low budget porn movie, and women, christians and otherwise of all ages are gushing over it, gladly tagging it 'mummy porn' over tea at book clubs. It's cool to say you've read '50' i mean, how uncool are you not to declare your love for erotical/porn to the world? (i was excited about the new book in town,unaware of the genre... until i called on my girl google for reviews...O_o) Hello accepting the unacceptable because it comes in a different package and it's tops the New York Times list ...

Remember when it wasn't cool to be gay? Now everyone's coming out of the closet every other week... I'm scared of opening the closet, i don't know what may jump out at me. Flaunting your sexuality is the ishhh... (No i'm not judging, if i don't openly go round pointing fingers at those who lie, have premarital sex, use swear words etc, if i love my neighbor despite the well of lies in him, then i have no right to hate a person for being gay. I can only stick to my moral truth and refuse to be force fed with what the world approves)

Sexy is the new purity! Out with the old and in with the new... A life and era where 'freedom' is celebrated, only it's really bondage that has been sugar coated with popping color blocks of freedom.

The world works just like fashion trends... It's going round, and revolving... we may as well be in the cave man era, only thing that makes our barely there clothes different(equivalent of loin clothes) is the colors we've added to them and the frills here and there.

Solomon says "History merely repeats itself. It has all been done before. Nothing under the sun is truly new.." Ecclesiastes 1:9 
The fashion of an era was shunned in another era, and brought back as cool in yet another era...
All it takes to understand how the world works is reading about the Roman world of old... from promiscuity, to open homosexuality(coming out wasn't a big deal), to rotten politics, corruption to whatever it is you name. Entertainment was as soiled then as it is now (only difference is it's popped from the arenas to the TV screen.) All you've got to do is read Paul's letter to the Romans to have an idea of how recycled the world is... His warning then, sounds off now.

Red polish wasn't cool for a young girl then, now even younger girls are rocking it. Go figure.

Friday, July 6, 2012

It's My 27th...

"You are the one who put me together, inside my mother's body,
and I praise you because of the wonderful way you created me. Everything you do is marvelous! Of this I have no doubt. Nothing about me is hidden from you! I was secretly woven together out of human sight, but with your own eyes you saw my body being formed. Even before I was born, you had written in your book everything about me." Psalm 139:13-16(CEV)

I was thinking of something special to write for my birthday,(you know, like wearing that special outfit at Christmas…) and a post I put up about three years ago popped into my head… What better time to Re-rock that post than now? It is my new year, and this birthday feels different, there’s such a bubbly feeling inside of me, I may just burst with excitement… Something is about to happen. I have no idea what it is, but I’m expectant and overly excited. I feel more emancipated than I’ve ever felt… nothing near what I felt when I wrote this, I don’t know why I wrote it then, but it feels more real to me now…

Its time to bring forth me,
To release the real substance of me from it’s cell of uncertainty.
My emancipation is the blossoming of my soul,
that is birthed from my acceptance of things that I can’t control
and my willingness to understand all things that make me better.
It is my quest to be true to this self of mine,
my breaking away from the rusty clutter of the artificiality of today’s woman.
Emancipation of me into a true sense of purpose and equality with the self I harbor within.
Emancipation from the judgment I placed on me,
as I scrutinized all the wrongs in me
rather than dwell on the fabulousness of me.
It is my climb down the ladder of self-doubt
Which I painfully climbed to peep into my neighbor’s yard to lust over her superficiality.
All the while failing to see what the essence of me was really about.
Emancipation from my delusion of fairy-tales.
From thoughts that a kiss is really all it takes,
To make a frog choke on its croak and turn into a prince.
To the reality that if I don’t work towards getting a dress and a coach for the ball,
I’ll definitely be left home alone drowning in sorrow, at the painful realization that fairy godmothers and their wands belong to tales.
My emancipation from the confines of such complex terms of pain, from seeing it as a hindrance rather than a possible gateway for His glory to shine.
From the weakness and giving in to that plague of breathlessness that fights to take me away from myself,
From the constant need to inhale the puff of that colorless gas that as formless as it is, brings my life back to shape.
It is my breaking free from the constant need to be pricked by needles in veins that are most elusive, and restored to self as the ugly liquids are infused into me.
My emancipation from the doubts that the greater being who exist on high has maybe forgotten me,
to my embracing His every word spoken ages ago, but somehow transported to the present and whispered into my ears.
It is my coming into a true sense of self, taking hold of my title and my worth as written in the King’s book of life.
My emancipation from the constant betrayal of self.
From the Judas of my head that always tries to sell out the Christ of my heart.
My letting go of fear,
and embracing the idea of falling in love.
I emancipate myself from the desperateness of emancipation,
I free myself from me.
Today I pull the plug...
And I become a woman of substance,
An emancipated woman!

So yeah, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me... Thank you all for being a part of eldorado, which is a HUGE part of me. Please say a little prayer or more for me before you close the page. 
God is so faithful and true, i owe him all, and i'm so thankful for the endless Love and Grace He's shown me.

P.S Don't you just wish all the Birthday DP's and FB/Twitter Messages could be exchanged for some 'cool cash'(in Vic O's voice) It's fun getting notifications, you feel extra loved and almost tweet in the annoying twitter lingo 'celeb tinzzz' 

Wednesday, July 4, 2012


Minister Yvonne Wilson featured a post of mine from last year on her site "EMPOWERMENT MOMENTS with Yvonne Wilson" And i'm thankful for that.
Just incase you missed it, you can read it Here

I pray it blesses you all over again.

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