who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Much ado about nothings.

So what's it with girls bleaching these days? Now they don't just want to be fair, they want to be blond...you see a badly bleached face with a badly fixed blond weave.SMH
Who invented flossing? I need to spank him,cos if he never thought it up we'd be satisfied with the good ol' toothpick, now flossing is a necessity, and I'm bothered with it. There's nothing as frustrating as flossing. I'll gladly have the hair in my nose waxed if it'll bring about a better alternative to flossing.

If you've ever heard me sing out loud in a public place that's not church.... Then you're one of the special people in my life. Me singing in public like me waking up in bed beside you.....messy hair, minty breath;), all bared as I am. Well not really, definitely not. You've heard me sing, so? Kini big deal?

I haven't worked out in ages, no yoga, no Pilate. And so I noticed a little flab here and there, thus i rushed to the toning board today.
I'll wake up with aching joints, I might not be able to take a few steps without groaning in pain and I'll have to shower with scorching hot water to relieve my myself. And so I ask myself, what's the point? To be as toned as those beyonce type girls on tv?
You see I've come to a conclusion that there's no natural way that you can be so dedicated to working out that you'd look as fab as they do i.e beyonce, ciara and co. Its all an illusion, they came to Benin to get jazz. I wouldn't bother myself anymore, I'll just concentrate on keeping fit, thus a 5 minute stroll every other day.

Never trust a lady that says 'Darline' all the time to everyone around her.

I heard the new question among Nigerian kids after their summer holidays is "when you entered the plane, did you go left or right?" Go figure. Please ehn, abeg, work hard so your child wouldn't be mocked for saying he turned right.

Natural is beautiful,that's what I think, so I chilled on the make up. but I soon discovered, it might be beautiful but make up adds an unbeatable flava to it. Thus I hereby shamefully stagger back into the artificial enhancer hall of fame.

Not every person who calls herself a designer qualifies, some are just educated or fashion conscious tailors. Its not fair that I have to pay 15k for an outfit birthed from my minds eye to be made with my own fabric, I'm more of a designer than they are. Oh well this is Nigeria, this is Lagos, what do you expect? Pure water will sell if you package it and stamp aquadeco(about 12 dollars per bottle) on it.

I used to think basket mouth was the funniest Nigerian comedian out there...that's till I heard gordons...to think we laughed so hard at a church event where he was heavily censored, there was no stopping him. I fell in love with him there and then. Basket baby, you just moved to second place, I love you still boo.

If all else fails,and you hate the outfit you're dressed in, wear beautiful matching sexy underwear. It'll keep you refreshed all day long, cos no one knows how good you look inside. You'll walk smarter, and you'll bounce in confidence knowing what you know...you look damn good in your pink little victorias secret.

The vice president is from kaduna state. I'm from kaduna state. Go figure. I'm mighty sure if I check my family tree his branch will be closest to my dad ;) and so I claim that my 'uncle' is in power. I'll soon be moving to abuja to reconnect old family ties.

And to conclude this randomness I'll quote a something obiwon said that stuck on me "you don't loose anything for every minute spent in the presence of God"
Think about it, there's nothing to loose and everything to gain. You should try it.
Todays Obiora Obiwons birthday, happy birthday to him.
God bless.

Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN

12 comments :

  1. Hey luv,
    how have you been? yep. beautiful lingerie sure boosts confidence..... :) (i hope you are coming for my event)
    and we are still yet to have that ice cream :)

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  2. This is as random as it gets but I was hooked from start to finish.

    How body?

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  3. Enjoyed your randomness from start to finish. You are so right about the underwear thingy. As for Gordons, he is rib-crackingly insane. I love the way he cracks up.

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  4. I have to tell you this,....that was the most meaningful "randomness" i've read in ages!.......u rock!

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  5. You can say that again about tailors, your design and fabrics!

    I'm so mad that I now have a machine, I'll take lessons someday in the near future.

    Random at it's best.

    *claps hand and folds them down to the waist*

    Left or right in the plane? see these small children oh!!

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  6. Plenty randomness, lol. I didn't get the turn left or right sha, I must be missing something.

    As for Beyonce and co coming to get Benin jazz, lwkmd...

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  7. Rlly? Abt the under wear thing?
    I av to try that...
    lool

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  8. people still bleach? it been a long time i noticed anyone with a bleached skin. lol! at turning left or right. serious matter!

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  9. I really enjoyed the randomedness, it keeps us going. i must say you are one of my inspirations to start blogging. thnx

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  10. no be right them dey turn for inside plane?

    i no know o..school me...wink

    random...me likey

    this ya uncle whey dey power...link us o

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  11. Many of Nollywood celebrities are bleaching FULL TIME!...the one that annoys me most is the LAGOS ISLAND & MUSHIN babes!..When you see some outrageous wigs & fashion designs..your jaw go drop YAKATA! heheheh....Yeah GORDON is very funny..na waffi boy chei?...Pls check the family tree well well o!..because e be like say we go soon become friends..so beta go flow my way..abi wetin you think?..*wink*..

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  12. Yekpa! Left or right again?
    In our time shey it was just enough to come back armed with your WHSmith or Mead stationery.
    At this rate they'd soon be asking if there were other ppl on your flight or if it was chatered. Orisirisi.

    As for all the "designers" springing up everyday in that Lagos. Taking credit for the job of a good tailor.
    I.REFUSE.

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