who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Wednesday, December 30, 2015

His Over Mine...

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Many plans are in a man's mind, but it is the Lord's purpose for him that will stand. Proverbs 19:21(Amp)

I had plans for this year. Well, when you look at them, they weren’t really plans, probably just vague wishful thinking… but they had sense and reason to them, they were all for a greater purpose. But thank God God’s purpose prevailed over my wishes.

The painful losses I later discovered were gains in disguise… its heart wrecking to think you’ve lost something valuable, but the joy of realizing that it really wasn’t a loss after all... It was such a gain. When you look beyond your emotions in most situations, you’re able to take the moment like a good sport because you know the pinch is worth the pain of now, than the torture of a deep gashing wound in future.
There were pains that brought tears… but ah, what a beauty it was to discover that the ugly of the tears served as the moisture needed for purpose to expand and grow. I asked for growth and it rained… Can I complain about that? The rain that got me soaking wet and messed up my hair and make up, was nourishment to the seeds I planted and look how the tree has grown… I can’t wait for the fruits to ripen and begin to drop.

Some dreams were crushed, but even as I tried to figure it out, I realized that they were only crushed to be reshaped into bigger realities.
I’ve had trust broken enough to make me take a stand against trusting anyone… but then in the betrayals, I’ve learned to love and to trust again in the face of the obvious scorn, because love is all that matters. We don’t give so much power to past betrayals by letting them dictate what our attitudes to others should be like, devoid of openness and love. Love is my anchor, my essence, I breathe and live and survive and joy in love. God loves me, and that clouds my judgment for good, to look at (some of) those who’ve hurt me with eyes of love to a point of foolishness… I admit not everyone has come into my circle of positive vibes, but I’m good to go on this love journey.

I have stretched…  like Isaiah 54 says; I have enlarged the place of my tent, and let the curtains of my inhabitations stretch out, spared not and lengthened my cords and strengthened my stakes. My stretch has taken me farther in faith, in hope, in understanding and in grace.  Oh, it hurts to stretch, to go beyond capacity, but same Isaiah 54 says Fear not, for you shall not be ashamed; neither be confounded and depressed, for you shall not be put to shame. I love the feeling that comes after the discomfort. It’s a good one, especially with knowing that a stretched out heart can’t go back to its previous state, it’s filled with capacity and only gets better.  I have not been put to shame; I have not been disappointed in daring to step out. God has met me every step of the way. Miracle worker He is.

This year I have grown in my understanding, and what this understanding has taught me is that the more you eat, the hungrier you become… the more of God I’ve come to know, the more of Him I want to know.
I’m thankful for His grace and His love.
God has been faithful and I’m not complaining. His plans over mine any day, any year.
We humans keep brainstorming options and plans,

but God’s purpose prevails.

Proverbs 19:21(msg)

2015 has been real… excited for 2016!

2 comments :

  1. Love is my anchor, my essence, I breathe and live and survive and joy in love. This statement says it all for me. It's been quite a year but thank God for God.

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