who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

The Bridge...

I woke up some days not wanting to go to school. You see mum could have given into my whims and let me stay home from school whenever I wanted to, and as much as I still don’t understanding why I was finding x in mathematics class through school, as I have never found a reason to find x or y as an adult, I’m glad I have an education, howbeit a reluctant certificate.
 It takes becoming an adult to appreciate how you were brought up, and to look at those moments that left you crying and sulking at your parents to see that they really meant you well, even when they forced you to eat vegetables or share your ice-cream with your brother.

As a child I would travel with my mum, my aunt and my siblings to see my grandparents. There was this makeshift bridge, which was more like a bunch of wooden planks placed across a river in a town called Adoka on our way to Otukpo (all in Benue state). It was quite scary, as the bridge had no wedge/shoulder and was about 12feet above the stream beneath.
If my aunt was the one driving, once we approached the bridge, she would pull over and hand over the keys to mum to drive, and mum the super woman that she is would confidently, even in her fear drive us across.
When we drove across, my brother and I would look with glazed wonder at the village kids swimming in the brownish mud stained stream below. They looked like they were having so much fun. That image made us or well, I’ll speak for myself here, it made me wish the car would fall off the bridge into the water so we could swim with those kids, not like I knew how to swim, but they looked like they were having the best time, that falling over looked like the best idea ever. It was what daydreams were made of for me.

As a grown up today, I am thankful our car didn’t ever fall over. Thankful God didn’t answer that desperate cry of an ignorant child. The lives that would have been lost just so I could get in that water. The loss I would have had for a silly desire to be fulfilled.
It makes me wonder, what are we praying/wishing for that could kill us? Those things that God is keeping us from? Those request that He sees for what they really are beyond the bright lights we see them in? Those men who’s pictures you’ve taken to prayer houses to make them love you?
Thank God He doesn’t give us all that we ask for. We’d be a wreck.
Be thankful. That life you pray for could be the death of you.

It looked like bliss from above the bridge, my vantage, but it was potential death and destruction from Gods’ vantage point.
Thank God for being the good good Father that He is. The one that loves us enough to stop us, even when we don’t understand, even with knowing that we would sulk at Him and see Him with eyes that reduce His love because of what His love is saving us from.
He’s such a good Father, so perfect in all His ways.
Whatever you're asking for right now, think about it.... is it like wishing for your car to fall off the bridge for a little dirty swim? Is it worth it? 
Thank Him while you wait, knowing He'll only allow you have the best... even when it doesn't seem to be going your way, He is perfect in all His ways, and He's got the best for you... His favorite baby!

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