... On Breaking Young Boys Hearts.
My first yes, was the shortest relationship ever... I was driving recently and the story flashed in my mind and oh what a good laugh I had. I’m not sure why this floated up from my memory bank… but after my laugh, I thought deeply about it.
I’ve had a lot of male attention all my life. From when I was a young girl in primary school to being a full-fledged adult. Grown men have chased me. I’m thankful that I don’t have an abused story. God shielded me, even with all the unwanted attention I received.
It’s funny how in secondary school, grown men were chasing me and now in the school of life... school boys are trying to make me, old enough to be their mother, blush. I kid you not... but story for another day.
So, I always had attention. And then boom, I’m in uni and it quadrupled. It was now bolder... one boy or another coming to my house. Always different cars parked outside my gate with me sitting on the hood of the car with the guy, or standing impatiently, not bothering to Invite them in because I need them to leave. I mean I had seen my three older sisters go through that, and my parents had seen it all as well, so it wasn’t strange, but it was tiring. One day I had the audacity to cry about my looks was a curse, because I couldn’t even see what they were seeing, and I was tired of the attention. It was annoying.
And so, one boy prevailed on me... after saying no to many, in my first year, this one was quite impressive… keyword here is ‘quite’, not absolutely, but superficially so. I just couldn’t shake him off, as I didn’t know what I wanted, so I said yes to the be my girlfriend nag. Gosh!!! The joy on his face..., I still remember it. My heart on the other hand was heavy.
The walk from the gate to the house was all it took to change my mind. Like, ahhhh! What are you doing? No boyfreeen for you… You’re not ready, and even if you are... not that one. Before I got to my bedroom, I had taken back my No, and couldn’t wait to find him the next day (no mobile phones in those days) and say I take it back… it was a mistake.
The next day, I rushed to school… I’m not sure how I knew where to find him, but as I walked into school, he was right there, under that tree… I remember it was a weekend. He had this huge smile on his face with his Timberlands, walking towards his girlfriend… and as soon as I got to him, I said “no” … I bet he was confused at first, I can’t remember the exact words I said, but I remember how his smile faded and the downcast look that took over. I felt horrible. I’m not sure we were ever friends after that episode. He must have bragged to his friends that I was his girlfriend, only to be told his relationship had been annulled after less than 24 hours.
Not one of my finest moments in handling the feelings of another… but my finest moment in understanding what was best for me and not saddling myself with a relationship so young and so early.
Why did this story come back to me?
But Jesus told him, “Anyone who puts a hand to the plow and then looks back is not fit for the Kingdom of God.” Luke 9:62
We say yes to God, and before He’s even out of the room, we think it’ll cost us a lot, and then we say... “wait Lord, can we do it another time? I’m not ready.”
But God? He says yes to us, and this is where the beauty of God is seen. He has put His hand on the plough, and he’s not looking back. Thank God for that. He has made His decision to love us, and that cross, when Christ died on that cross, that was the point of no return, that was the no looking back covenant. And He keeps His word. I love God for a lot of things and one of which is His integrity.
Ploughing requires a tenacious focus… God has that single-minded focus towards us. He’s not like me who thinks of the cost after making the decision. He already saw the cost when He put His hand on the plough. So, my human imperfection isn’t going to make Him find me under a tree and say No to me, taking back the promise of His love and righteousness because he realised just how I don’t always want to love my neighbours, or how petty sits down for dinner with me sometimes, and how I get in my zone sometimes.
God loves us, and that’s final. He isn’t changing His mind about it… that’s why He wants us to keep announcing His love to those who do not know, so they can say yes to Him. That’s why you will see traces of the love of God even in the life of unbelievers. If ever there was a time you felt like God had seized to love you… stop and think, you probably turned your back on His love, it never grew dim, you just moved from His embrace. His love is set like flint, unchanging, unashamed to be seen with us even in our worst state… nothing can separate us from this love.
“So now I live with the confidence that there is nothing in the universe with the power to separate us from God’s love. I’m convinced that his love will triumph over death, life’s troubles,[a] fallen angels, or dark rulers in the heavens. There is nothing in our present or future circumstances that can weaken his love. There is no power above us or beneath us—no power that could ever be found in the universe that can distance us from God’s passionate love, which is lavished upon us through our Lord Jesus, the Anointed One!” Romans 8:38-39(TPT)
If you’ve said yes to a relationship with God… don’t look back, you made the right decision. There’s so much goodness in the mix for you… this Lover you have picked, is the best thing to ever happen to you, and rest assured, He isn’t changing His mind about you, He knew who you were before He loved you, He also knew how powerful His love is and how it can perfect you in Him.