i read allieds post, then came across yar mama, and yesterday followed zena's link to her page. they all had one thing in common, relatively different but all talking about the same thing, zena ranted about a cheating husband having his cake and eating it and a couple of aunts going through abusive marriages(ie cheating spouses), yar mama is a northerner(like me) who was forced into marriage at 16 , a practice accepted by culture(but i'm glad she got courage to leave so shes not like the woman in the poem below) and allied spurned one of her classic tales, this time about a generation of women groomed to acccept abuse from their husband as a way of life.
it made me remember this poem by john saxe...
the best of husbands...
oh i have a husband as good as can be,
no woman could wish for better than he!
sometimes, indeed, he may chance be wrong.
but his love for me is uncommonly strong.
he has one little fault that makes me fret.
he has always less money, by far, than dept;
moreover, he thrashes me, now and then,
but excepting that, he's the best of men.
i own he is dreafully given to drink:
and besides he is rather too fond, i think,
of playing at cards and dice: but then,
excepting that, he is the best of men!
he loves to chat with the girls, i know
('tis the way with the,-they're always so),-
but what care i for his flirting, when,
excepting that he is the best of men!
i cant but say i think he is rash
to pawn my pewter, and spend the cash:
but how can i scold my darling, when,
excepting that, he's the best of men?
when soak'd with tipple, he's hardly polite,
but knocks the crockery left and right,
and pulls my hair, and growls again;
but excepting that, he's the best of men!
yes, such is the loyalty i have shown;
but i have a spouse who is all my own;
as good, indeed, as a man can be,
and who could ask for a better than he?
this is one of the reasons my resolve to one day get my degree in women rights grows strong daily. its one of my favorite poems. i love the humour, but its deeper than the laughs, maybe its just me,but i feel pain buried deep in the dear ladies story.
like a woman trying too hard to believe that 'excepting that, shes got the best of men' afterall there are women out there joslting for a husband and here she is with hers.
no person deserves to be treated this way with disrespect. i'll walk away so fast his fat cheating beating arse wouldnt know what knocked the breath out of him. even if he is the best of men when sober...sod him.
its a shame women are made to accept the brutality of their situations, thats going to change soon, very soon, and i hope to one day be part of that change, if not for everyone, but for the few i come across, even one person would give me fufilment, cos its one less person going through abuse from a spouse just because...
PS..maybe he was the best of men in bed? cos excepting that all he does classifies him as man trash..but then does sex make up for lots of things in a relationship? does it soothe the hurt and abuse?