why inyamu's eldorado? cos eldorado is that special place, a significance of my fantasies so far off from reality. although i'm more real than i've ever been here, it feels more like a surreal life when i write them down. it makes things actually better than they were when i read back.
the books describe eldorado as a legendary story in which precious stones were found in fabulous abundance.
to me its all that and more, for precious stones are precious but what else do they entail? they arent precious without happiness and those little things that make us humans, without the feeling of joy and love at out beak and call.
to me its that place splashed with the color of my dreams because realty somehow has found a way of becoming intolerable, so bleak that everything appears in black and white, from the little kids in the streets with no food, the women strickened so bad by poverty it feels like a curse, to those women and children(and maybe men who are abused daily)
eldorado is my life outside reality. those bleak moments that go blissful immediately i hear the laughter of my family when we all are more than just family but friends, where issues are put way way behind, where we're cool like that and replenishing on our love tank...
its that place i am when i let myself breakdown and more than just 'sigh' over a guy, flush at our conversations, think beyond the crush, beyond my boundaries....dare i say it be love? but what exactly is love? eldorado to me is that feeling.
eldorado to me is the tingling i feel in my toes and the tears i try to conceal as i listen to will youngs 'who am i'(it always gets me mushy). will youngs voice knocks me off, and the lyrics murders me. it says a lot i want to say, a lot i want to be told. if a guy sings that to me, i think i'll be up and over him in no time.
eldorado is the feeling of adrenalin in the moment when i go beyond the first minutes of fear as i do something ranked amongst my fear factors....like flying in a chopper, riding in a water scooter(once, and never again).
i know withdrawal into ones dreams/fantasy, blocking out cruel realty could be dangerous, but its exhilarating the feeling of oblivion to all that should be mattered about.
except i am dragged back to earth a little too soon, pulled back to reality with the sound of mom screaming my name to come change the channel(while the remotes lying on the coffee table in front of her), or my leg hurting, or my tummy grumbling for cheese and yogurt(which obviously i could get with just a snap of my fingers in eldorado.)
eldorado is my escape thus inyamus eldorado.