who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Friday, June 27, 2008

a breakdown of eldorado

why inyamu's eldorado? cos eldorado is that special place, a significance of my fantasies so far off from reality. although i'm more real than i've ever been here, it feels more like a surreal life when i write them down. it makes things actually better than they were when i read back.
the books describe eldorado as a legendary story in which precious stones were found in fabulous abundance.
to me its all that and more, for precious stones are precious but what else do they entail? they arent precious without happiness and those little things that make us humans, without the feeling of joy and love at out beak and call.

to me its that place splashed with the color of my dreams because realty somehow has found a way of becoming intolerable, so bleak that everything appears in black and white, from the little kids in the streets with no food, the women strickened so bad by poverty it feels like a curse, to those women and children(and maybe men who are abused daily)
eldorado is my life outside reality. those bleak moments that go blissful immediately i hear the laughter of my family when we all are more than just family but friends, where issues are put way way behind, where we're cool like that and replenishing on our love tank...

its that place i am when i let myself breakdown and more than just 'sigh' over a guy, flush at our conversations, think beyond the crush, beyond my boundaries....dare i say it be love? but what exactly is love? eldorado to me is that feeling.
eldorado to me is the tingling i feel in my toes and the tears i try to conceal as i listen to will youngs 'who am i'(it always gets me mushy). will youngs voice knocks me off, and the lyrics murders me. it says a lot i want to say, a lot i want to be told. if a guy sings that to me, i think i'll be up and over him in no time.

eldorado is the feeling of adrenalin in the moment when i go beyond the first minutes of fear as i do something ranked amongst my fear factors....like flying in a chopper, riding in a water scooter(once, and never again).

i know withdrawal into ones dreams/fantasy, blocking out cruel realty could be dangerous, but its exhilarating the feeling of oblivion to all that should be mattered about.
except i am dragged back to earth a little too soon, pulled back to reality with the sound of mom screaming my name to come change the channel(while the remotes lying on the coffee table in front of her), or my leg hurting, or my tummy grumbling for cheese and yogurt(which obviously i could get with just a snap of my fingers in eldorado.)
eldorado is my escape thus inyamus eldorado.

20 comments:

  1. Nice breakdown. Everyone needs a sanctuary.

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  2. Interesting, always wondered what FQ meant by eldorado.

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  3. I like the reason behind Iyanmu's Eldorado. The reason behind Studio 5i doesn't come close.

    Have a lvli weekend.

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  4. Wow, you really take ur day dreaming seriously!!!! :)

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  5. like many others, always wondered what inyamus eldorado meant, loved the way you explained it

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  6. yeah babes...everyone needs an eldorado...

    lmao @ ur mumcy and the remote...kind of reminds me of home...

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  7. we have unveiled 2008 blogville idol contestants check out the page to know when the competition starts and for more details and pls make sure u participate by listening and voting for your favorite contestant...pls stop by d page and show us some love!tanx

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  8. Yes.
    We all need out fantasies and Utopias.
    Mine's blogville...

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  9. You are truly a fantasy Queen. I am sure u believe in the power of names..

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  10. hey queenie,

    ohhhhhh

    I thought you had a fixation on the americqn made car the eldorado lol

    you know a lot about history and ancient folk tales

    I love a woman with a mind

    keep being you queenie

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  11. hear-hear sweety i feel you plenty plenty. most times we just need a place to hide away every now and then cos the realities of this world can sometimes be two grotesque.

    let me come into your eldorado..
    (now dat sounds very perverse)..lol

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  12. Long time gurl! How you? Can I have some eldorado too? No? Ok, I'd get me mine.
    Takia!

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  13. Happy belated birthday darling, couldn't get online yesterday...

    oya update with birthday yarns...

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  14. Happy Birthday sweerie! was disconnected from the e-world yesterday.

    where's the cake?

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  15. Hapi belated birthday gurl! How old are you now?
    bumight said I could get tips on financial investments from you. Where're they at?

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  16. Happy belated birthday babes.
    Just checked my mail and saw the birthday reminder. So sorry am late, been out of touch for a while now.

    Ps; didnt see u on saturday and u didnt call, am angry o

    as per ur post, dream on girl!Fantasy never killed no one,lol!

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  17. I'm sorry sweetheart

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY QUEENIE

    I hope you had a great day

    I need to holla at you too

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  18. i like this. thanks for breaking it down for us all. i hear u big time

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  19. Where Go The Boats?

    (1)

    Dark brown is the river,
    Golden is the sand.

    It floats along forever,

    With trees on either hand.
    (2)

    Green leaves a-floating,

    Castles of the foam,

    Boats of mine a-floating

    Where will all come home?
    (3)

    On goes the river

    And out past the mill,

    Away down the valley,

    Away down the hill.
    (4)

    Away down the river,
    A hundred miles or more,
    Other little children

    Shall bring my boats ashore.
    -----by aoc powerlevewling

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