haven't blogged in a while. No, fq hasn't gone extinct nor has the blogville exit bug bitten her, i've just been so overwhelmed lately, going through lots of ish, personal, business and all, re-evaluation and a bit of rehabilitation. inbetween i have been ill, i have been happy, i have been emotional and actually cried(damn)but i'm still around.
read somewhere that we are our own betrayals, playing judas to our christ. how right they are. the harmony of me as a whole is so wretched i can barely trust me, my hearts such a betrayer, playing judas to the christ of my head. but like judas, is my heart willing to repent? take the rope and hang itself? no. you see the heart wants to live on, to keep going....why wouldn't it just stop before it gets too late? crap.
what happens when your head and your heart pulls you in different directions? do you stand still in the middle and die or go where your heart pulls you to damning it all? even though you know your heads so so right. i guess thats why we're humans. we know the truth but we want to create our own truth and ignore the real thing. sad.
my 'almost boyfriend', the guy i liked, but knew we couldn't date got married some weeks back and i forgot completely, how nice, was having so much fun at the beach on the day of his hookup i forgot to remember until two days later when a friend mentioned it to me.:-) yayyyyy! he calls me on the average twice a week these days for a less than 2min conversation. well more of an interview cos i behave like a cheerful intern been interviewed 'hi, fine, good, alright, really, bye'(i know, its not his fault. but how do you react to a guy whos proposed to you before and still calls after marriage)
so much for an update. hope to get back on board the ship of blogging.