who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Thursday, July 10, 2008

fantasy queens confused!

haven't blogged in a while. No, fq hasn't gone extinct nor has the blogville exit bug bitten her, i've just been so overwhelmed lately, going through lots of ish, personal, business and all, re-evaluation and a bit of rehabilitation. inbetween i have been ill, i have been happy, i have been emotional and actually cried(damn)but i'm still around.

read somewhere that we are our own betrayals, playing judas to our christ. how right they are. the harmony of me as a whole is so wretched i can barely trust me, my hearts such a betrayer, playing judas to the christ of my head. but like judas, is my heart willing to repent? take the rope and hang itself? no. you see the heart wants to live on, to keep going....why wouldn't it just stop before it gets too late? crap.
what happens when your head and your heart pulls you in different directions? do you stand still in the middle and die or go where your heart pulls you to damning it all? even though you know your heads so so right. i guess thats why we're humans. we know the truth but we want to create our own truth and ignore the real thing. sad.

my 'almost boyfriend', the guy i liked, but knew we couldn't date got married some weeks back and i forgot completely, how nice, was having so much fun at the beach on the day of his hookup i forgot to remember until two days later when a friend mentioned it to me.:-) yayyyyy! he calls me on the average twice a week these days for a less than 2min conversation. well more of an interview cos i behave like a cheerful intern been interviewed 'hi, fine, good, alright, really, bye'(i know, its not his fault. but how do you react to a guy whos proposed to you before and still calls after marriage)

so much for an update. hope to get back on board the ship of blogging.

12 comments :

  1. confused? come talk to mummy about it!

    I hate when men that like my friends/my sisters like me. I totally feel u on that, but as long as you dont encourage it, i guess u'l be fine

    *big hug*

    ReplyDelete
  2. First of all why is this post showing 10th, it most certainly wasn't here a week ago..

    As for blogging, loosing interest happens to all of us...

    My ex just got married too and unlike you I am totally confused...

    As for ur friend, knowing a friends moods and how to work around them is the begining of great friendship...loosen up a bit....and update real soon...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hey sweety. i understand where you at right about now but all you have to do is breathe.yeah its that easy.just be guided by everything God has put inside you...you'll be fine sport.

    as for your friend.i just have a feeling she understands.try having a heart to heart chat with her on the issue and let her know you honestly do not intend to hurt her.i believe you guys wld definitely find a way round it...Cheerios sport

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yeah! as some form of therapy please try to listen to lil waynes 'the carter III' the album is of the weezzzzy.come on! its only one hundred and fifty naira....lol

    ReplyDelete
  5. @sasuke,
    150 ke , na pirated copy be dat o, lollllll

    dearie, dont worry its just a phase, it ll pass. dont let it get to u.pls cheer up n update, thanx

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ur friend seems like a really good friend.
    She knowing ur moods n all must have taken some serious time n patience on her part.
    So stick close.

    Aspa X-boo, its a good thing u dint remember, but y is he calling u???

    Sometimes its nice 2 leave d heart n the head, n just stand still outside it all.

    B strong.

    ReplyDelete
  7. talk to me queenie

    here you can sit right on my couch

    let me know how you really feel

    it's okay

    whatever you do, whoever you go with, you have to love yourself first

    you have to love yourself in order to get appreciation from others

    ReplyDelete
  8. I totally understand you babe. been there a lot of times too. I guess its natural when you are lots prettier/sexier than your closest friend.

    Used to have a very close friend while in the Uni and though she never really said it., i felt she resented me sometimes cos all the guys seemed to prefer me even the one who was with her.

    if ur friend is mature, then she'll realise it really isnt ur fault and you need to make it very obvious that you are not feeling her boo even if she says he is feeling you.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Head vs heart: Hollywood would say follow your heart.I'd say do the right thing.All the best on that journey dear.
    As for your friend...princesa's said it all.
    Have a great week ahead!

    ReplyDelete
  10. hold on to your girlfriend. I like the sound of her.
    everyone gets confused once in a while, it will pass.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Sweet And Low

    (1)

    Sweet and low, sweet and low,

    Wind of the western sea, ,

    Low, low, breathe and blow,

    Wind of the western sea!

    Over the rolling waters go,

    Come from the dying moon, and blow,

    Blow him again to me;

    While my little one, while my pretty one, sleeps.

    (2)

    Sleep and rest, sleep and rest,

    Father will come to thee soon;

    Rest, rest, on mother's breast,

    Father will come to his babe in the nest,

    Silver sails all out of the west

    Under the silver moon;

    Sleep, my little one, sleep, my pretty one, sleep.

    -----by age of conan

    ReplyDelete

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