Thursday, January 15, 2009
Conflict of emotions!
How strong a word hate is,
Such a deep stringing emotion.
As powerful as love.
But then love heals, hate destroys, or maybe it does heal too?
What do you call the emotion where u love a person as much as you hate him?
Right now deep down in my guts I hate him....yes its normal to feel this way cos he left, but its more than it being about the fact that he died or his remembrance day is approaching.
I HATE HIM!!! even as much as I love him.God help me
I find a lot to blame him for.
Somethings aren't just as perfect as we hope for.
I know I'll come back and read this, and regret that I wrote it, and hate myself for writing it, but I hope I don't delete it. Cos this makes me feel human, somethings aren't always what we want them to be......even I can't force my emotion to be what it should.
I want to keep seeing him as my hero who can do nothing wrong beyond what I know he can as a human
And I want to keep calling myself his little mummy,
But Some days are just meant to be reality checks for us...a wake up call from fantasy land.
Nothing is always at it seems....not even perfection!
Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN