who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

this is me....

so i've been on this journey of finding myself for so long its like totally out of fashion...like so 3 years ago. i'm sick and tired of the 'i dont know who i am' one moment and turning round the next saying
'i'm this and that' and the next moment i'm totally blank on it all. fine, i know i'm one of the most complex of creations ever, but even complexity has a centre of knowledge of self.
this christmas i tried writing down things i know i am...excluding the whole fabolousness,sweetness and wowness of me :)i'm bored already with that(okay this is the part you're meant to laugh, cos obviously i'm kidding...or not, really i'm a great girl and since its true what i say then i wouldnt call it bragging would i?

This is me,
The one who grins like the Cheshire cat that was a source of amusement for alice in wonderland
And like it disappearing and appearing at the different curves and turns of your emotions
Causing turmoil’s in that once certain sanity of yours, mine and ours.

This is me
Built with the perfect defense against life, self and you
The calmest of mind
Used to manipulate life, you and me

This is me
Embedded in my self created sanctuary
A conflict of words spoken, one word that goes either way contrasting meanings either clarifying or casting shadow on your truth, More like an antonym

This is me
A quantum of bleak reality drowned in the anticipated bliss of fantasy world
A contradiction of words and actions
A living and breathing oxymoron
Who’s lived in light in the deep of the dark,
An imp of an angel, bitter sweet, high and low on life
Shallow yet so deep, strong but fragile, independent but in need,
Fearless and strong but yet scared of looming heartbreaks of emotions

This is me
Who will not sacrifice my humanity for vanity
But will sometimes give up life for a minute for the perfect therapy of shopping☺,
This is me, but is this really me?

This is me,
Whos gone through the good the bad and the ugly of years past,
But who isn’t faltered cos the good tips the scales and outweighs both the bad and the ugly lodged together

This is me
Who believes in the hidden goodness of life
That’s lifted me up on a platform
High enough for the world to see
And as I lift up my hands in victory
My knowing Cheshire grin says ‘God and God alone’

This is me,
this is me...
some call me fantasy queen amongst other names.
but really, they're just names
and they dont define me,
i'm just that person that i am
Better than most, not as good as some, same as a few, but otherwise uniquely different from all…
This is me
Not less but definitely more than the sum total of who I really.

now i call this process. i critised as much as i praised myself. hopefully this would be a year of more discovery i.e love(and hopefuully it wouldnt be with mr. arse cos really thats what he is, an arse.)

22 comments :

  1. first??????? great discovery... i hope one day i can also get to d point of saying this is me!

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  2. Lol...may God show you your real self!
    how you doing?

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  3. nice 4 u, i hope i reach that point soon, where i can at least say this is who i am and be assured its all true.

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  4. Only you!!!

    I wish I could say - this is who I am.....Unfortunately I can't put a finger on ~Sirius~, Like a mirage she tends to vanish as you get close to her.

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  5. Yes babes, this is you and all more...may God grant you your heart desires...

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  6. You are what God says what you are.

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  7. It's good to know who you are and not who people think you are. I feel this and kudos on your self realization.

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  8. Nice post, inspires me. I know who i am, please go to my blog and you will too. Im back for good, lets be blogger buddies again plssssssss .... thank you! lol

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  9. "This is me,
    Whos gone through the good the bad and the ugly of years past,
    But who isn’t faltered cos the good tips the scales and outweighs both the bad and the ugly lodged together"

    Always remember this.

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  10. yes, that is you and much more

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  11. (as per your comment on my blog, I'm a Priviledged addict. I started watching the show because my friend told me about Asa's song. I was too proud to be Nigerian then. Lol!)

    I wish I could do a post about my self maybe I can use this as inspiration.

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  12. self discovery is a beautiful thing.


    i have found that,with each new day, each new experience another me emerges.
    somedays super confident and poised, other days totally befuddled but not anyless me!

    happy new year sweetie!

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  13. Fantasy! Girl, you sound ok to me. lol. Happy N Y

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  14. BEAUTIFUL post! dig'n your blog too.

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  15. you seem to know who you are....just don't forget it...Thanks for always stopping by...

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  16. Lmao at Ibiluv.

    You are who you are.

    Love your smile.

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  17. This is you.
    Loved by bloggers.
    Known and unknown.

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  18. wow..who am i?? *scratches head*

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