who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Thursday, April 16, 2009

beauty in the eyes of the beholder....and far beyond!!!

i never saw myself as beautiful.
yes i loved to look in the mirror, but all i saw was a little girl with chubby cheeks, and then a few years ago i began to see what people said i was, and i thought to myself 'okayyy, quite pretty. not bad at all"
i'm very comfortable with who i am now. maybe i might wish my tummy would be tucked in tighter or my hair would grow longer so i dont have to use a weave or extensions so often, but i'm good with me.

a friend of mine from secondary school tagged me on facebook, some sort of game and i was number 21 on her list of last 21 people to write on her wall. theres a couple of random questions asked about the different numbers.

the questions about number 21 was when last did you see 21?" which her reply was something about bumping into me at the mall sometime ago. and the second question was "do you think 21 is attractive?"
her response was "very, trust me, no be today"
i'm quite immune to compliments these days, or so i thought, so i went awww in my head.

there was already a comment on the note when i read it, so i was the second to comment and i blabbed about us meeting up for lunch soon.
next i know, the first person is dropping off another comment after mine, directed at me, like right at my ego.
he goes "whats the hype with no.21? i've never really seen anything exceptionally striking about her beauty, anyway beauty is the eyes of the beholder"

fortunately i'm a lot bigger than my ego, and i've outgrown the self doubt phase and i know for a fact that i, like every woman is beautiful in my own special way, so i dont need to get a nod from anyone to feel good about myself, especially not from a stranger.

i've never met this fellow, i know nothing about him, from his surename i think hes related to some other school mate who was three years ahead of me.
i tried to make light of the situation and i go...
"errr...shes right here,just a comment above you and one below, try and whisper those words"

and he goes bla bla bla"dont you think i intended for you to hear? no offence intended, just expressing my opinion it beats gossiping dont you think?"

i decided to ignore him, and then other responses to the post(from people i know) put up defenses for me:)
"well, shes exceptionally striking in my books:)" and bla bla bla.

i thought i didnt care about it till now. i mean i was at the boulevard and as i walked in the rain looking in at shops,i lost my shopping spirit when i remembered facebook and i found myself staring at my reflection in the shop windows, which was a really bad idea as i was quite drenched and cold...it didnt do anything to boost my ego.

i put my nieces to bed and went to the lowest of the low, i coaxed them to tell me how pretty i was by asking if they thought i was pretty:)):

i feel bad that i let myself get affected by the comments of a stranger. i'm used to people knowing who i am and me having no idea who they are. but with this dude its annoying that it got to me. i mean he obviously did it to spite me, cos he left the first comment without saying stuff and when he noticed i droped a comment he put out the hateful opinion.

everyday i'm reminded of my beauty when i look at my nieces and my family, cos the beauty i see in them i know i have in me.
and of course theres the one i think i love who keeps singing how beautiful i am:)
the eyes of those who behold me and
so why worry, with one strangers mean words?

i got prompted to put up this post after i watched susan boyle from britains got talent a couple of minutes ago and almost choked on my baseless and self centred ego tripping low. shes the most beautiful woman ever. shes just so sweet, it's so hard not to cry watching her. shes such a leasson to us all, never underestimate anyone because of their looks.
beauty really is skin deep.
a while ago no one would look at her twice, now shes one of the most hit on youtube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY&feature=related

18 comments :

  1. First!!!!!!!!!!!

    Hmmn, beauty is definitely subjective, one man's Halle Berry is another man's 'No-Way' so.... I would not sweat it if I were you.

    Susan boyle is all the rage in this country now and I am rather happy for her. Her looks have not detracted from her talents.

    I am sure you're hot though, so ignore the dude.

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  2. I am glad you found beauty in yourself darling.

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  3. having 8 brothers with different tastes made me really realize that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. one likes big girls, anoda one skinny girls, anoda one small boobs, anoda one, sexy legs. need i go on? lol

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  5. Its amazing how much of an impact words can be.
    But, since the fella does not know you from eve, it should be taken with a pinch of salt.
    However, I do suspect that the chap knows you and intended to draw you into a conversation and probably more.

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  6. Where did that saying come from:"beauty is in the eyes of the beholder" - I mean where did it originate from.

    One Man's meat is another man's poison, but that doesn't mean its not meat. I'll say Beauty is more than skin deep.

    Don't allow a persons words to create your destiny.

    nice post.

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  7. You darling are beautiful...that's all i'm gonna say!

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  8. Sweetheart, you should know by now that fb is an avenue for craziness and seeing as you don't even know the dudde, his opinion should not count for chit!
    Some people are just mean & stupid by nature.

    I just heard the Susan Lady last night and i was moved, she's 47!!!
    Just goes to show that anytime you wake up is your morning.

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  9. You let facebook get to u as well???????

    thats a no no

    i also dont believe you would let his words bother u

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  10. First of all the guy is an idiot, be glad you dont know him personnaly, secondly girl..take a good look at urself in the mirror..I look at ur pics and marvel..beauty is not just in the yes of the beholder, some beauty can be seen even if we dont want to behold...He probably had a crush on u and u ignored him..he seems to know u...

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  11. "beauty in the eyes of the beholder..." true, just like we need not dignify the caprice of everyone with a response.

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  12. It's as the title goes 'beauty' is in the eyes of the beholder and beholders have myriad perceptions..this guy's beautiful might b ur 'What!?!?! Did I miss smthing here?' so don't bother ur beautiful self abt his comments. Also, though this is such a cliche: 'don't let wat ppl say get to u' and as Afrobabe noted he probably been crushing on u.

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  13. Every time I read your blog, I leave with the picture that you are a very beautiful lady...it is a mixture of sensitivity, calmness, wisdom, maturity and strength. He may or may not see much in ur physical beauty at the moment but believe me, if he gets 1m close to you, he is going to take back his words.

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  14. He was just being spiteful! and i'm just being defensive because i know you. It would get to me too if someone said that.
    He doesn't know you so he doesn't have the opportunity to see your beautiful spirit as well as your appearance. I still think his comments were uncalled for.......my girlfriend would say, "Kiss it!" He should "kiss it!"

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  15. We've met once and I spent the entire time blushing like an idiot.
    You really are cute.

    I'm with most people.
    Letting facebook get to you is not a very smart thing to do.

    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
    But it also helps if you happen to fall within the same specie.

    There will always be cows who have problems with the fact that you aren't colored black and white with hooves for feet.

    So ignore the cow.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog. I'm terribly sorry for not mentioning this earlier but my post was fiction.
    I am safe and well...

    Thanks for the concern though.

    Say...
    This doesn't mean i have to return your hug does it?

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  16. The guy sounds like a right twat! i think he definitely was crushing on u and maybe u ddnt jah him face cuz u can tell that people saying your beautiful really bothers him and I think he compliments u by saying there is "hype" bout your beauty. So really just ignore him pls.

    That susan boyle lady is amazing..i actually had ters in my eyes wen i watched the video... its the most horrible-est thing to judge people based on outward appearances alone. She is definiely a gem,

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  17. This isn't necessary now babes but i gotta say it anyway...

    Girl, you are Foine!!!

    In & out!

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