I take loads of selfies! But post very few on social media, and the few I post have to be near perfect in my eyes.
I don’t see myself as unattractive… which is me trying to humbly say, I think I’m a fine girl. But in taking selfies, I have come up with a theory… it doesn’t matter how fine you are, you almost never post the first selfie you take from a batch. You take a couple till you get the perfect one; you know the one that captures your good side. Well, that’s my story, not sure if any other person shares this struggle sometimes. “Your phone is full of 300 selfies in a row because that's what it takes to get the perfect shot.” the struggle! (FACT: I actually take a lot of beautiful first time selfies, but this truth would hurt my post. I am the exception :0)
They don’t see how you struggle to get the perfect lighting. The don’t see the one where your nose appeared too big from one angle, they don’t see the number of deleted ones, and that’s what hurts most spectators… the fact that they never see your backstage struggles, just your highlight reels.
People think I’ve got this Christian thing locked in perfection… well I know Christ covers me and sees me perfect. But have you seen my Christian struggle? The preachers who stand on pulpits after putting up a perfect game face, you have no idea what he had to push through to stand.
I love God, how couldn’t I? When He loves me as much as He does even with knowing me as much as He does! But I struggle sometimes. I struggle with certain things that don’t make you question my authenticity as a Christian.
You see sometimes it’s hard to be happy for people. Not hard per se, but it just hits you from one angle… but then you struggle through all the insecurities, and you finally get the perfect look after many attempts, the look that says Gods got you and you’re amazing the way you are and everyone has a different path to tread, and then smile and congratulate them genuinely. We may all have it together, but sometimes, life seems to test your faith and how solid the ground you stand on is when it seems to rub off other peoples perceived success in your face, and you forget you’re not running the same race… you forget that its not a competition, and that her making it even if it doesn’t benefit you directly, benefits you in someway. How? Well the fact that God is good and there’s one more person out there testifying of His goodness should make you trust and love your Daddy more.
People think I have it all together, maybe because of the fact that I say and live like it is well always, or write posts to encourage, and annoyingly seem like Mary Poppins who is never flustered and always ready doesn’t mean I am. I go through troubles, I worry at times, I don’t have a good look some times, but I’m able to find a perfect lighting most times, to get a stunning selfie to put out there. I go through a lot of flustered situations before I come through with the perfect post/selfie. Because I have been through and I have learned and I still learn to trust in the midst of it all. And in my learning, I am inspired to inspire.
All those perfect selfies out there? Why/how did they get the perfect shot? Because they refused to give up, they were determined to keep clicking till they got a satisfied result for you to see.
Don’t judge your behind the scene moments with another’s finished cut!