when is it okay to say NO?
is it ever okay to say NO?
why is it so hard to say NO?
humans are so complex i get so tired of trying to fit into the system of constantly displeasing myself so i could make others happy just by saying YES so i can avoid saying NO and getting the disappointed look.
truth is i hate to share.
yes that black dress looks so gorgeous on me, that's why i bought it in the first place, so let it remain where it's supposed to be, on my body and in my wardrobe, don't try to borrow it off me.
or the white top with frills and laces
no i'm not selfish.
but if we're going to move in the same circle then don't wear my things and i'll stay off yours,
its different if we both have same outfits
hell no, i hate it when we go out together and we've all got the same scent just because...well obviously we've all used the same perfume.
but of course i cant say 'no, don't use it', or 'no i cant give you' cause i'll be seen as mean and selfish and ...
back to what brought me to talks of no.
a friend called me today, she needed a loan. i so wanted to help her cause shes my friend, i would have been willing to give her half the amount or in full and write off the loan
but right now, i have a lot of commitments on ground added to the expenditures of the past month, its wearing me out.
there's the pledge i made, that cant be left hanging.
i just came back from a staggering holiday which set me back.
theres the spa membership with venivici
i made a pledge i haven't redeemed to a charity org
and a bulk of my liquidity was pushed into the stock market because prices are at their lowest and this happens to be the best time to buy, and i cant sell a portion of my stock like i usually do when i need money cos that'd be at a huge loss.
and my major account is funded but not with my personal funds, my sisters sent me some pounds to change(and dang what a loss, 198 from 226) and keep for a stuff they're trying to get for mom.
i noted the disappointment at me in her voice, although i didn't say no out rightly, its difficult saying no, i just kept listing my commitments,
it felt like she felt i was being mean and selfish,
but i really cant.
i hate it that i'm being made to feel bad and even guilty.
i wish humans were more understanding.
i hate being said NO to,thats why i hate to ask, but when i do, i know how to accept it gracefully, i would tell the person who cant assist me 'its okay, i understand' even if its not okay with me.
my weekend was good. the bookclub meeting was alright and the reading with Ekene Onu was a delight, shes such a likable lady and her book 'the mrs club' is such a bite of fudge cake smeared with vanilla ice cream...okay not that orgasmic, not even near there, its just a book that's fun to read, well not really fun, just a readable book. its about three Nigerian ladies in Atl sexy and scandalous titi, sweet and smart amaka and sharp and savvy minna. most girls would find a little bit of themselves in those ladies.
mr E's house party was good, for the twenty minutes i dropped in there i had fun. left just before majority of the guest began to arrive. i couldn't be tempted to stay back,rushed home to shower and dress for my dinner. opted out of wearing a dress.
used my deola sagoe high waisted pants and a black oxygen top, green heels and sliver accesories. We went to auto lounge after the marcopolo dinner. Fun fun fun, and one of my ages past crush got drunk and tried hitting on me....(gross, where were u when i daydreamed of me and you with white picket fences?)