Tarzan Monologues--and the men also have voices.

I haven't been to the theatre in a while,or to any poetry event taruwa, and bla and bla and bla for about three/four months, i was begining to feel rusty and unfaithful to my love for the arts.
thus today, i went to theatre@terra, not knowing what was showing, but going to have a good time all the same with a friend.

And what a comeback to theatre it was for me, i was welcomed with one of the best plays ever 'the Tarzan monologues' its a spin off of the vaginal monologue, highlighting the world through the eyes of men. it was the premiere of the play. just my luck.
all i can say is OMG, it was hilarious. Wole Oguntokun the director and writer(remember he directed the v-monologue- the Nigerian story)did a wonderful job. its such a creative idea and he had wonderful actors to compliment it all. there was kunle Adeyoola of the music group Roof top Mcs, the acclaimed Nigerian actor Bimbo Manuel, my personal favorite Terra male act Precious Anyanwu, O.C Ukeje and a couple of other wonderful actors.
   (obviously not the official poster of T-Monologues. i thought i'd give a lil' credit to Tazan:)

Of course the play had to be such a come back at women...everything said about the female species bordered on the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so true i actually went ouch even as i cheered and laughed at monologues after monologues. it talked about everything from money, women, sex, erectile dysfunction, sexual abuse, religion, pressure, sterility, virginity,job loss, relationships, age, marriage and infidelity and of course the centre of all this themes was woman(they just cant do without us errr, the good the bad and the ugly, we're right there in their faces)

from Mr Manuels monologue on how as an older man, a way older man, he has it so easy with the younger ladies, they just seem to fly into his territory without him having to try so hard unlike in the days of his youth in 'powerful, sexy, grey' (of course his money draws them in), to the nagging of mothers, always berating their less successful sons lack of ingenuity in 'jack Gowons mother', to the vicious mouths of ladies especially when it comes to the bedroom,they just dont understand that a man fails to function properly when even the sound of his heart beat scares him as he imagines its the landlord coming for his rent or the banker coming to harrass for a loan payment, to the inevitable contempt a woman feels when somehow the tides turn and shes the sole bread winner in the family, to the male child syndrome(which it was revealed, that really the men don't care about having a male child, its the women who keep wanting to try again and again after having girl after girl) in 'mama na boy', to religion and the role of pastors in courtship in 'me, my girl, her pastor and the church", and of course it talked about how the desire to satisfy the wants of your girlfriend from prada shoes and jimmy choos to new cars to land, yes..land(the girls these days are mean with their demands) etc, leads you to start taking money that doesn't belong to you from work(who knows maybe the politicians embezzle cos of women) till you find yourself in jail.....and of course the lady is still free outside and in his words "another would buy her prada"

there was pimp my bride.....the hilarious story of how women retire from taking care of themselves after marriage thus sending men to infidelity and vice versa, to the story of the immigrant, the one who would go to America and come back for holidays in his home country, liberated from poverty thus the power to scream 'bullshit" as he pleases to whoever he wants including the president, to 'hadijat' the childhood sweetheart in the village who now walks in heels in the city ignoring her local love while he does the labor in the parks reminising about the good old days of loving he and hadijat shared.... I laughed my heart out at the ploy women use to hook ready made men as husbands. hilarious, all you girls thinking of hooking a man by getting pregnant, get your facts straight first.

'open letter to my father' gave food for thoughts, would you say you were wealthy because of the mansions and cars your father had or because of the love and attention you got from him? 'A mans world' got me smiling so broadly....just because i was spent laughing. it really is a womans world afterall.

then theres 'the first time' which talks about sexual abuse. it made me think how much we've taken for granted that the male child gets sexually abused too, its not only the females that are subjected to it. maybe we think 'they're boys', they probably enjoyed it and even went back for more. even as much as i laughed hard at this particular monologue, i think it should be taken more seriously. how many men are walking the streets traumatised by the actions of their childhood 'aunties'...
i loved 'local boy' and how Mr Manuel talked about what a local boy he was despite the oxford education, being seen in the right places with the right people, eating in the right resturants and playing the right sports. in the midst of all the glitz and glam, he still remains just 'a local boy'

and i was so proud of 'defilement' the monologue about rape. the men came out to disclaim all animals formerly known as men who dared to defile the delicacy of a woman by raping her. they raved at the excuse used of her causing it by wearing short skirts or whatever. rape has been such a silent crime in Nigeria for soo long, the sooner we start to discuss it openly and give the beasts what they deserve, the sooner we'll become a better people. think of all the ladies who are victims of rape suffering in silence just because they've been told it's their fault...."why would you sashay past a man and not expect him to rape you? especially in those jeans'. pathetic

oh theres more, lots more of the monologues, more than i can write about, and the grand finale was the '6 myths about marriage" i love love loved it.

I'm still not over the thrill i had there. i loved the fact that the actors sang and danced to popular naija tunes before each monologue, there was d'banjs 'suddenly' and 'tongolo' sunny nnejis 'tolotolo' and a couple of others. i would never in a million years be able to put to words the thrill i had. you can only watch it to understand what I'm all gushed out about.
its hilarious and same time thought provoking.

Tarzan monologue will be showing every Sunday for the rest of the month at terrakulture. tickets cost just N2000. theres an afternoon show for 3pm, and the evening show for 6pm. check out this website for more details on theatre@terra. and naija theatre
i've got a feeling they're going to be touring with this one. so watch out, just incase they march into your town. you wouldnt want to miss this.



  1. i caught the 3pm show

    me loved it............

  2. Call me jaded, but other than the rape thing, it sounds like these guys are mostly just whining, cos say what you will, it's a man's world, and everything inevitably comes easier to them.

  3. caught d 3pm too... it was indeed fab! that OC is mega cute!

    and Paul too... 'explain to me why anyone needs more than 2 pairs of shoes?? lol

  4. positively 'jealouying' all of you o! dang

  5. funnily enuff my sis just invited me to next sunday's show and i promptly accepted

  6. The arts in naija are def picking up. I miss not being there dang!

    But really, why Tarzan, not very original is it? I think Wale Oguntoken is trying though piggy backing off the V's sounds somehow. Kudos to the team.

  7. interesting!

    looks like u had a swell time
    If I were in 9ja, I would have rushed to the theatre

  8. I saw the 3pm show too...It was L.O.V.E.L.Y and yes O.C. is MEGA-SEGA CUTE..
    Kunle(Rooftop MCs) acted well too.

  9. Your brimming with joy...it musta been great, and the review just makes me wish i coulda seen it

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