who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Thursday, July 26, 2012

In Awe...



I just realized I clocked 5 years on blogsville in June. It's been one amazing ride...


These are the words of Sarah Henson from her recent post  titled 'Check Your foundation'
... However, the truth is I never started this blog for people. I started this blog for me. I began this blog so that I could determine whether or not I truly had a gift, a voice, a calling greater than what I was doing. I have found hope in the response that God sends through you all. When its time for me to write I completely zone out, pray, and ask God to use me. I have re-read posts and been in awe that God used me to write a word that my heart needed itself. I believe in my gift because I believe in the God who gave it to me... 
It's amazing how the words spilling from a person completely different from you, one you've never met are words that resound in your heart. She's put to words, thoughts I've harbored within. This thing I'm doing right here? It's scary... It scares me, but God gives me the strength and the zeal. I have put my confidence in Him, and He continues to move as I put my hands on the keyboard. I read old posts and get encouraged by them, I am thrilled that it's my blog and I am left in awe that He chooses to do whatever it is that He's doing here through me.

It's scary getting mails from you guys(thanks for all the mails, and just in case you didn't get a reply, please let me know... I realize some of my replies gets lost in transit, probably mobbed in some cyber alley:). Can't figure out why. I really do reply every mail)
Whenever I read a mail from this blog, my heart skips a beat, and I say a prayer for wisdom to give the right answers. I want to run and hide in fear sometimes... I'm thinking, why would anyone think of me of all people to share problems with? I'm just a girl who blogs. Well, that's what I was when I opened this account five years ago.
But I know something bigger than me is at work, I know I have to sit down and be still long enough to absorb it... running away with a desperate hope for a smooth sail away from all this would only get me caught in the middle of a storm, thrown overboard, swallowed by a fish and after all the trouble, get back to the place I was running from in the first place, I might as well do it the easy way. 


I never really believed in my writing, I just knew I loved writing... Thanks to everyone of you for the show of love. God has used you to make me believe in myself. Every moment I start to doubt, a mail shows up telling me wonderful things that are so sincere, and everything beyond what mere flattery can dish out. I am truly thankful.

I'm working on my book. Yayyyy!!!! I never would have been so confident about a book without this blog. I'm excited about it, It's a scary thought too, but when has fear ever won a battle? I wouldn't bow to it, thus I stay excited and encouraged by the encouragements I get from you. 

Thank you for making me realize that I have a voice, and it's been heard.

And Thank God for not giving up on me, for seeing me the way that He sees me, with a view that makes Him trust me with His words. I am in awe of His love and grace.
My expression of awe isn't as cute as Marie,Toulouse and Berlioz's :) 
Xoxo

6 comments :

  1. Happy blogversary! And God bless you for being a vessel unto honour!
    I have definitely been blessed by your posts and I look forward to many more refreshing times on your blog!

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  2. Congratulations on this milestone that you have reached and all glory to God. Continue to inspire and to touch lives with the words that He speaks through you. My journey on blogville began in January 2012 and you are one of the persons that inspire me to keep on writing for the glory of God.

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  3. Congratulations. Hopefully there are many more years on here. It's been a privilege of sorts to see how your use of this medium has evolved into something more focused over time.. :)

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  4. Happy blog anniversary. Thank God for wonderful things happening in your life.

    So, am I still editing your book? *winks*

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  5. %yeas aint no joke o. Congratulations! Yay on the book. Finally *whew*

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