who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Friday, July 6, 2012

It's My 27th...


"You are the one who put me together, inside my mother's body,
and I praise you because of the wonderful way you created me. Everything you do is marvelous! Of this I have no doubt. Nothing about me is hidden from you! I was secretly woven together out of human sight, but with your own eyes you saw my body being formed. Even before I was born, you had written in your book everything about me." Psalm 139:13-16(CEV)

I was thinking of something special to write for my birthday,(you know, like wearing that special outfit at Christmas…) and a post I put up about three years ago popped into my head… What better time to Re-rock that post than now? It is my new year, and this birthday feels different, there’s such a bubbly feeling inside of me, I may just burst with excitement… Something is about to happen. I have no idea what it is, but I’m expectant and overly excited. I feel more emancipated than I’ve ever felt… nothing near what I felt when I wrote this, I don’t know why I wrote it then, but it feels more real to me now…


Its time to bring forth me,
To release the real substance of me from it’s cell of uncertainty.
My emancipation is the blossoming of my soul,
that is birthed from my acceptance of things that I can’t control
and my willingness to understand all things that make me better.
It is my quest to be true to this self of mine,
my breaking away from the rusty clutter of the artificiality of today’s woman.
Emancipation of me into a true sense of purpose and equality with the self I harbor within.
Emancipation from the judgment I placed on me,
as I scrutinized all the wrongs in me
rather than dwell on the fabulousness of me.
It is my climb down the ladder of self-doubt
Which I painfully climbed to peep into my neighbor’s yard to lust over her superficiality.
All the while failing to see what the essence of me was really about.
Emancipation from my delusion of fairy-tales.
From thoughts that a kiss is really all it takes,
To make a frog choke on its croak and turn into a prince.
To the reality that if I don’t work towards getting a dress and a coach for the ball,
I’ll definitely be left home alone drowning in sorrow, at the painful realization that fairy godmothers and their wands belong to tales.
My emancipation from the confines of such complex terms of pain, from seeing it as a hindrance rather than a possible gateway for His glory to shine.
From the weakness and giving in to that plague of breathlessness that fights to take me away from myself,
From the constant need to inhale the puff of that colorless gas that as formless as it is, brings my life back to shape.
It is my breaking free from the constant need to be pricked by needles in veins that are most elusive, and restored to self as the ugly liquids are infused into me.
My emancipation from the doubts that the greater being who exist on high has maybe forgotten me,
to my embracing His every word spoken ages ago, but somehow transported to the present and whispered into my ears.
It is my coming into a true sense of self, taking hold of my title and my worth as written in the King’s book of life.
My emancipation from the constant betrayal of self.
From the Judas of my head that always tries to sell out the Christ of my heart.
My letting go of fear,
and embracing the idea of falling in love.
I emancipate myself from the desperateness of emancipation,
I free myself from me.
Today I pull the plug...
And I become a woman of substance,
An emancipated woman!

So yeah, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me... Thank you all for being a part of eldorado, which is a HUGE part of me. Please say a little prayer or more for me before you close the page. 
God is so faithful and true, i owe him all, and i'm so thankful for the endless Love and Grace He's shown me.
Xoxo


P.S Don't you just wish all the Birthday DP's and FB/Twitter Messages could be exchanged for some 'cool cash'(in Vic O's voice) It's fun getting notifications, you feel extra loved and almost tweet in the annoying twitter lingo 'celeb tinzzz' 

9 comments :

  1. Happy Birthday Dear!! You're a star, shine brightly. Have an amazing day : )

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  2. Happy Birthday darling!!!!! Here's to many more fabulous and blessed years....

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  3. Peace, love and happiness always! Have a lovely and magical day. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Happy birthday! Have an amazingly awesome day

    ReplyDelete
  5. Happy Birthday dear, many more grace filled years :)

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  6. Happy birthday to you. I pray God continues to increase you and make you a blesssing to this generation and the next.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Happy birthday! Wishing you many more beautiful years ahead!
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