who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Friday, June 10, 2011

You no better pass me o (I'm better than you)

You woke up, and now you're walking around like you're so special.
You try to pick out which one would look best on you from your five black dresses. You bring out your only black hat... Its a Philip Treacy piece (and just so you know I have his custom made pieces in 6 different colors in my wardrobe, I can't use them anymore after spending so much on them).
You bring out your black louboutin to go with it. You figure the new chanel sunglasses you bought last week would do.
Its going to be a long day for you.

Me? My dress for today was picked out about a week ago. I would have picked something different if I shopped for it myself, but my mum picked this out. It's a white dress.
Its not so bad, I just hate the lace and trimmings on it, I feel more like chukkys bride than the kings bride.
But what does it matter? I'm still better than you.

No, you're not prettier than I am, the boys you crush over are the ones chasing me.
No you don't pray more than I do. Truth is sometimes prayer as wonderful as it is, is something you do without, all you want to do is go about your day.
You don't read your bible more than I do...how many verses do you have in your heart?
Your voice doesn't sound like some cherubim when you sing, certainly a far cry from mine. You object? Wanna hear me sing?

You're not always nice to your neighbor and truth is you haven't learned to love them like yourself. I love my neighbors, I cook for them. I let their kids sleep over and I take them shopping too.
You complain all the time, compared with me its a 2:8 ratio.
You feel like strangling one or two people every hour,while I smile and walk away from trouble.
How many times did you visit the orphans?
How many times did you donate to a charity?

Your tithes and offerings are not more lofty and regular than mine...
Infact I give more than ten percent as tithe, my offering is so fat and juicy and is probably the sweetest smelling savor up to heaven.
I don't even see you in at least one of the church's week day programmes.
You're not as young and vital as I am.

I work out twice a week, and I jog round the estate 6 days a week...
I play tennis and have regular swims.
I eat right.
You just eat junk and spend two minutes on the trend mill. How's that for health?
I have regular check ups done with the best doctors and they're impressed with me. They expect me to live a long and healthy life.

But today, I'm lying down and you are standing. Today it seems you have the upper hand.
It feels like you've won, even though I'm better than you.
You're taking more breaths than I am.
I've wondered why?
But I know life isn't a competition.
And some questions you don't have answers to.

All I wanted was some apples.
That's all I wanted.
That's why I drove out, in my joggers.
I left my clothes in the washing machine. Just a quick dash out.
I was thinking about calling my travel agent to confirm the date for my next destination holiday when the car crashed into me.

And today, my legs that were hotter than yours are crushed.
They say the impact was heavy....
The layers of foundation covers the cuts on my face from the shattered wind screen.
I don't remember ever having so much make up on.
Even with that I still look prettier than you.
But what does it matter?
My brand new car, the latest model of yours is a write off.

I know for a fact that Its not because you're better than me.
Or more special than I am that you stand here today bidding me farewell.
Looking classy, clad head to toe in black.
Its only his grace... Giving you yet another chance to make it right with him.

Maybe I was better than you, but that doesn't make him obliged to give me life.
If he can take me from the world even with all my devotion to him, even when I'm not ready, what makes you think you deserve to breath another second?
What makes you think you deserve to get well from that headache?
What makes you think you have a right to sleep and wake up unhurt every morning?
What makes you think that you have a right to fly in that plane and not crash?

His love for you is more than you can imagine.
That love opens the door of grace.
And that grace keeps us even when we are undeserving.
Don't take Gods grace for granted.
Be thankful for life...

I lost another friend yesterday.
He was healthy, he died in an accident.
Its still hard to believe.
I saw another beautiful young girls' obituary in the papers a few days ago.
They haven't even lived,
They were young and full of life and dreams.
They represent me and you.
No one can hide under the canopy of youth anymore, especially when it comes to death.
Stop saying you'll be born again in your old age.
Your old age is here.

Please don't mock that grace. It could have been any of us.
I hurt and despair for yet another loss.
I can't even question God.
I am thankful to be alive and well.
I am thankful my family is alive and well.
We're always traveling, and no ones been hurt.
We don't deserve it...
I'm grateful for grace.
Be prepared!!!

(So yeah, I wrote all of this on my bb...don't ask how please ;) )
Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN

12 comments:

  1. WoW, This is so touching. and a lil scary too. i`m in that STOP,RELAX & REFLECT mood right now..Thanks for sharing or should i say ring the wake up bell. I ain`t gonna ask how you pulled this off with your BB but Kudos to your Thumbs.

    ReplyDelete
  2. WOW! YOU WRITE SO WELL AND YOU WRITE THE TRUTH!
    GOD BLESS UR HEART FOR THIS POST!

    ReplyDelete
  3. this is a very sweet post, u write so well and i can see u put a lot into this *sighs*

    ReplyDelete
  4. Fantasy queen,you must know already that you are a hell of a writer.keep rereading your posts and i draw out something new each time,besides the tears.hey! look forward to the day you win the pulitzer,will slap ma chest and tell everyone how much you take after gantana.

    ReplyDelete
  5. wow... this is deep.. may her soul rest in peace.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Grace......
    we take so many things for granted...thanks for the reminder
    Sorry for your loss

    ReplyDelete
  7. Possibly the most amazing blog that I read all year vintage wedding!?!

    ReplyDelete
  8. nice.... do u take guest posts too? i kinda fooled around with an attempt on poetry. maybe u mite like to see it first b4 u..... anyway i'm gettig ahead of myself. nice tho.

    ReplyDelete
  9. ummmm..... why r some of my words not displayed? anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  10. thanks everyone for your kind words. X

    hey @anon, maybe i've had a guest post up once, would love to read what you have. send me a mail jakut05@gmail.com, we'll take it from the. bless.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I saw your link on your  status and have been reading your posts from the very first one. And all I can think off is the grace that covers us to see what He wants us to see and feel what He wants us to feel... I know I took that grace for granted in my life. I pray in my heart that I use everyday to make it up to Him... Thanks for this piece . God bless you

    ReplyDelete
  12. thank you and may we continue to grow in his grace. bless

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...