who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Sunday, December 4, 2011

He's right there...

Some days i dress up and i know without a shadow of a doubt that 'This is it!!!!'
I don't need any compliment to make me feel good about my dressing, i don't need anyone to validate the look. I go out with confidence, and care not if i'm complimented or not. Because i know.
Then there are days when i dress up and i don't feel it, i feel just thrown together and unpretty. My hair doesn't feel just right, i would have looked better with this or that and something else. But then with this state of mind, i step outside and everyone is complimenting on how lovely i look, and o how so pretty and bla bla bla, and in my head I'm like seriously?
Was on the bus one day, and this sweet old man asked if i was a movie star. I wasn't feeling me that day and i just felt a burst of adrenaline after he complimented me. I really am good the way i am, i might not always see it, but it's there for sure. There is no denying it, in the prettiest of dresses or with the messy hair. I am amazing just the way i am. :p

I was reminded of those moments some days ago. They show me how sometimes we feel Gods presence so strong in our life, that we don't need anyone to tell us that God is indeed God. Because everything seems to be working out so well. We feel him just seating there and raining kisses on our face when our needs are met in quick successions... When life as they say, is good.
And then those moments when life feels low, we're depressed, we loose our joy, and we are loosely hanging on to our faith. Our world seems to be falling apart and we get pushed to a point in our despair that we scream at God, 'God where are you?'
When we're waiting for the promise, when our hearts are heavy with pain and door after door is shut in our face.
'I say to God my Rock,
"Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?"
My bones suffer mortal agony
as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"
Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.'
Psalm 42:9-10
Photo Source here

If only we remember Gods' word "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." Hebrews 13:5
The moments when i feel less of a chic are the moments i get the nicest words thrown at me.
Those moments when we feel God must have taken a stroll from our lifes, when we feel he isn't there, are moments when he is most visible.
Because his strength is made manifest in our weakness. "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9
Who says you'd still be standing, be able to get out of bed and live despite all you're going through if God wasn't with you?
Who says you wouldn't have cut yourself, or overdosed on drugs to end your life if God wasn't there with you?

Only Gods grace gives us the strenght to keep going while we wait.
Only his grace helps us push through the challenges even with the tears in our eyes. Only his grace dares us to want to get up and out of the place we're at.
You haven't turned to prostitution/runs girl, you haven't turned to drugs or internet fraud even in your desperation. Only God with you could have kept you.
He's right there with us, being our strength in our weakest moments.
He's right there, and that's why he says "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." Isaiah 43:2

The footprint poem best describes God in our down times. source:http://us.123rf.co
I'm having one of those moments where somewhere in my heart i dared to question. (I really didn't know i was until i started writing this)
Walking through another seemingly hopeless moment, feeling like the enemy is coming in like a flood, feeling like i'm about to be consumed by doubt ... but i was reminded of how God is always there. Funny how he used my 'chic' moments to show me that.
Thus i wouldn't dare look away from God because i think he's left me as the pain increases (and trust me, i am in a lot of pain both physically/emotionally) I wouldn't drop my faith and look for an alternative. I will hold on in my pain, hold on in my fear, hold on as i feel the water rise above me, hold on as the fire is heated up, knowing that he is there. And because he is, i will come out victorious, for i am more than a conqueror through him who loves me (Romans 8:37).
In sickness... whatever the duration and discomfort, the end shows that i have already conquered it. In chasing my dreams, whatever the obstacles, i have already conquered. In living, whatever the fear... whatever it be, i know the end, and the end is a victorious one.
And so, 'Thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.' 1 Corinthians 15:57

 If you're ever down in the valley, just trust in him, knowing he is there... "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." Psalm 23:4

2 comments :

  1. nice piece. have had 2 remind myself that though I dont 'feel' him working I know he is and he is at work in my affairs. beautyful reassurance

    ReplyDelete
  2. "In sickness... whatever the duration and discomfort, the end shows that i have already conquered it. In chasing my dreams, whatever the obstacles, i have already conquered." This is so comforting because i was indeed at a point where i wasn't just in my right spiritual senses at all!!!! God Bless

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...