It’s hard work taking care of kids. It drains you emotionally and physically, because its hard saying No to them, especially when the No is for their good, but being the kids that they are, they don’t understand the reason for your stance thus you come off as being mean which is far from the truth. But how in the world do you expect them to realize that NO isn't YES this time because you love them?
I sort of see myself as a child when i look them, especially when they bring certain request my way. Thus I want to indulge them when they come to me, because i can feel the hurt i felt whenever my request was turned down and i don't want them to feel that way. Like because they know mummy would say no to them if they ask to have a snack or a soda at certain times, they come to me, and even though I know there's a rule not to, I kind of give them the go ahead and let them use the “Baby Joy said I could have some” defense.(yes I'm called "Baby Joy" by the nieces)
My aunt left her baby with me for the two weeks she was going to be away for. Now this is taking care of and loving kids on a different level. I had to be not just a friend to my three year old cousin, but a mother too, which is much harder.
I would wake up to get her ready for school, and just seeing how deep and peaceful her sleep was, I would be tempted to let her be, and let her skip school, because I remember how frustrated I used to be when I was woken up for school. Now, I could do that and make her happy, but I would be doing a whole lot of wrong just because I love her so much and I want to please her. Or when she comes home with homework that is frustrating, like trying to get her to write the number '8' perfectly, i hold myself from erasing what she's done and doing it all over again, give her a neat work and a nod of approval from her teacher... but that's cheating and doing her no good, so we seat together and keep trying until she gets it right.
We drive out together and she doesn’t want to be strapped in her seat, even after I insist she uses her seatbelt… then she says “please” and I sigh and my heart melts with the look on her face and as much as I know its wrong and dangerous I let her be. God forbid it, but if there’s an accident, I would be responsible for any injury she gets, just because I couldn’t say no to her. So, i try to be stern now... it hurts that she's upset with me, but heyyyyy!
My eight-year-old niece tells me of her classmates who have ipads and those getting the latest iphone. She doesn't have any of those as much as she would love to… she has just an ipod. I feel sorry for her sometimes, not because i feel she needs them, (I know she really wants those gadgets) but because i understand what it's like not to have what your mates have because your parents say no. But her mum would never let her have a phone at this age, and what in the world is she going to do with an ipad? Her parents love her and would give the world to her… but they would never give her a part of the world she isn’t old enough/ready for. Is she happy about not having a phone, better yet an iphone? No… But she understands that when she’s older she’ll get it.
We all are children in God’s eyes. Many times we wonder at Him, why He lets certain things happen, or why He doesn’t give us certain things we ask for. But as a loving Father, One who knows all, He holds off some request we make knowing it would only hurt us. As much as He hates to see us cry, He has to allow it happen the way it should, because the consequences of Him softening up and letting us have it our way would cause a greater pain and flow of tears than that of our sulking and disappointment. I hate to see my nieces/cousins cry, but a few minutes of crying tantrums beats the consequences of broken bones from not wearing seat belts.
Some things we ask of Him that seem to take forever to come, will come, when we’re ready for it. Just like my niece will surely get a phone when she's of age. God would never bless us with some specific things when we’re not ready for them. Sometimes our minds have to be schooled, our spirits trained, humility groomed in us before we can receive the 'good success' He has promised. If not, it would come, and our pride and arrogance and lack of foundation would destroy both the gift and ourselves even before we have the chance to enjoy it.
You know, like loving that man with all your heart and even going as far as getting engaged before he breaks up with you… you’re broken and hurt and angry at God, thinking He must hate you, but He looks at you with eyes of love and says “I let it happen because I love you, I’d rather see you hurt and broken now, than let you go into a place that would destroy you and shatter ever fiber of your being… you are strong, you will get over it now, you will laugh again, you will meet that special one…. You will be happier than you ever dreamed of with Mr. Wrong". some of his refusals are our greatest blessings in disguise.
Angel M: It's your daughter FQ
God: Ha, my special princess... have I told you how much I love her?
Angel M: Yes Lord, You did already, a thousand times and more.
God: but did I tell you the thoughts that ran through my head when I created her? The glorious plans I have for her?
Angel M: A thousand times and more my Lord...
God: drop the attitude Micheal, you need to lighten up.
Angel M: I'm sorry Lord. But this is urgent....
God: I specifically asked you to minister to her everything she needs.Whats wrong?
Angel M: I do My Lord. You know we've always protected and provided her with Your Grace, favor, goodness and mercy, but she's persistent about her Private Jet, and You've restrained me from that pile of goodness till You feel she's ready for it.
God: Oh, the precious one. She'll get it and much more in her due season, she's not ready just yet... Pride would destroy her if i let her have it now. She needs to get to that place where a Private jet is no big deal to her. Here, I think it's time for you to Give her that unexpected connection I told you about, you know a 'chance' meeting with that Denzel look alike that would be on the same flight with her next week. That should keep her mind off the jet for a while, while My Spirit works in her, to prepare her for the blessings I want to overwhelm her with.
Angel m: (Smiling) You spoil that princess My Lord...
God: (Laughs) I can't help it... be on your way Micheal, I can hear her words coming up in the voice of my Spirit.
(celestial music playing as angel M and all the angels join in a chorus of praise... fade light)
Ok, so you get the idea?
I could do more than help the kids with their homework and just do the whole thing for them instead of letting them wear out their brain after a long school day, but they wouldn't have learned anything from my 'help'. They would have tests and exams and fail. God can take the burdens and trials away from us, but how would we learn to trust Him completely? to build our endurance if we don't go through the trials life throws at us?
"Moreover [let us also be full of joy now!] let us exult and triumph in our troubles and rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that pressure and affliction and hardship produce patient and unswerving endurance. And endurance (fortitude) develops maturity of character (approved faith and tried integrity). And character [of this sort] produces [the habit of] joyful and confident hope of eternal salvation." Romans 5:3-4
What's the point I'm trying to make? Trust God!!!
He's a loving father, with a love greater than what you'll ever have for your kids... He knows what He's doing, whats good for you and what will hurt you. He would never let you get hurt just because your flesh is desperate for a thing that is bad for you. He has a glorious plan, keep trusting, rise above every disappointment knowing that all things indeed work for your good because you love your father.