One of the ugliest sounds technology ever produced is that of an ambulance. And the scariest nature has given, is the sound of a sob that spills over from the pain of the heart, not loud, just an unsteady rhythm of grief spilling out from deep within.
Sometimes we celebrate death. Like when I lost my granddad, it was a celebration of life, we danced, we tried to rejoice, but the truth is, we cried, our hearts were torn. It doesn’t matter that he lived a long life and he enjoyed love from his children and grandchildren, all it was to us was the fact that he was no more. So in the falseness of celebration, our hearts grieved.
I was at the requiem service of a family friend today. I wasn’t close to her, I didn’t know her well… but my goodness, the pain was real. All it takes to break your heart is the sight of the family trying to be strong, even when you know that they have no reason to stay strong, because really, she wasn’t as old as my granddad to use the cover of ‘celebration of life’… she had a full life ahead... You ask, where is the 'abundant life' Christ promised us in all these? She was planning a wedding, something most girls look forward to, hitting that mark and probably so excited about it… many things to make you wonder, and question.
I sat in the church I grew up in, sitting next to mum, looking at the box that held her once living body, balanced at the spot daddy’s coffin sat at some years ago. Sitting in the pew to my left were the parents of a friend whose corpse stood at the same spot last year and all I could think of was how this could have been me four years ago… It could have been me.
There are so many right words to give a grieving heart, right words that end up planted in the wrong season, thus you don’t have a fruitful harvest. How do you tell a mother who's lost a child that ‘she’ll be fine’ when all she can feel is pain no one can imagine? One that can't be compared to the 'mere' cramp the labor room threw at her. What do you say to brothers and sisters who just lost a sister? A part of them?
You can only pray for them and allow them grief, and after they have, you can say the right words… the words that many don’t understand, but is deeper and truer than we can ever imagine “It is well”, because truly, it is.
You will laugh again, you would cry sometimes, you would have great memories, and you will be hit with such pain sometimes when you remember that you've lost something precious... In all that you will live, and you will heal and God's comfort will strengthen you, and you'll wake up one day, wondering how you survived those first weeks and say to yourself "it is well indeed' and you will find a place in your heart to be thankful.
Of course you can't imagine being thankful for the loss... but you'll be thankful for the grace to move on, to survive, to smile again....
I’m thankful for my life and that of my family. I pray no one has to go through such a loss. If we are brought to a place of mourning, then it should be a grief that can be masked with a celebration of life theme. With long life will He satisfy every one of us and our families.
And to anyone reading this who's grieving, all I can say is, as hard as it is to understand why He let you go through this pain, God loves you so much and All will be well with you indeed.