who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Monday, November 19, 2012

The Attack...


I jumped out of bed when I heard my mum's voice on the phone. I knew it had to be something, who calls her at 2.30am? Sure enough it was my aunt on the phone panicking. There was shooting outside her gate. Gunmen exchanging fire with her security. She couldn’t get her husband who wasn’t home or the head of security. She was clueless as to what was happening as she spoke.
Now this was shocking to us. Both times we’ve had robbers storm our home, we’ve called her to send security. She’s our backup. Thus this was a strange turn of event, we relied on her security and now she was relying on us, and unfortunately the response squad numbers my mum had, went with her missing phone. We made frantic calls that night, to numbers that weren’t connecting. We were shaking in the dark, punching in numbers to make us feel good, all the while trying not to imagine the scene there. Then I remembered God!!! The fear took over my common sense, that I forgot to remember the most important person to call in such a situation. And I got confident; my heart beat less as I recalled that His angels were on guard and our prayers act as a covering over the family.
If you have a sensitive position your security has to be extra tight, because you will be a target. Even if no one attempts to act on their desires against you, you don’t take chances. My aunt and her husband took chances; they had security, but not as much as they should have had.
What was amazing was the fact that people would dare to attack them, knowing the security in place (or they probably had inside info that it wasn’t as tight as it should be). What was scary was that the available security could have easily been caught off guard, since no one expected an attack. Anyway, long story short, the gunmen were not able to gain access to the compound, aunt and her household were all safe.
I’m so thankful it’s not a different story we recorded. I see the bullet holes on the gate and I’m only thankful it was just that. The attack has only heightened their security, made them more vigilant. 
As long as you’re in Christ, you have a sensitive position because you are royalty, and you are a prime target, like it or not. Sometimes, we feel so secure in our homes, with our armed security keeping guard. Who would dare attempt an attack on us? But then when has security ever stopped the devil from trying? He would attempt breaking into our hearts and throwing every attack he can at us even when he knows angels are on guard to keep us from stumbling… (Be careful if you think you stand lest you fall.) Who knows when he might get lucky?
And almost lucky he got with me last week. I was so discouraged and depressed for a few days. I couldn’t believe it was me, with joy and peace and faith that i felt i had. But I allowed myself get attacked. I gave access to the dark mood that hovered around me, and oh my!!! What a battle it was. Like my aunt called mum just for comfort in that situation, as strong as we may feel we are, we need those we can call for backup prayer when we feel like our security Is being breached, it doesn't matter if you're a pastor or a bishop, you need people you can call to strengthen you sometimes. No man is an island. You never know… be prepared always. Thank God I had someone to talk to as I felt my spirit battle with every negativity that tried to break in.
This attack on my spirit, my joy and my peace has served in giving my spirit a shake. There I was giving encouragement in The Dress post, but feeling like a fraud, so beat out that I couldn’t even get the word for myself. The post was for you as much as it was for me, in fact, it was specifically for me. But I failed to see it as mine… I was slack in strengthening my faith and encouraging myself, I was tired and thus I got attacked. But thank God for God and His goodness and mercy and restoring power. This has only heightened my desperateness for God. Taught me that even though great alternatives dance in circle around me, I have no other choice but to trust Him. 
I also learned that, it’s not as easy as I assume it will be to just fold up this garment of His salvation and walk away because my spirit is weary and tired. That’s a joy to know that He’s not going to get rid of me that easily… Only His grace has kept me standing. I know a dozen other ways that would give me the best result and the best life as the world dictates as fast as I want it. But I choose to wait on God even when I feel He's taking His time.
The attempt to steal my joy and my peace and crumble my faith has only made me heighten my security. It's made me desperate for more and more, and it's given me a fresh inflow of God's Spirit. The words of this song says it all "He touched me, O what joy fills my soul… Something happened, and now I know. He touched me and made me whole..."

4 comments :

  1. Now I may have to ask if you know me cos your every post addresses my challenge at the time. This feels like those days when the Pastor is preaching and you feel so sure, he's talking about the issues you told him or a dear friend in secret.

    "I choose to wait on God even when I feel He's taking His time" this line best sums it all up.

    I have being blessed ever since my path crossed your blog

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  2. Thank God for preservation of life, both spiritually and physically. The devil has lost, whether he likes it or not.

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