who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Sunday, April 13, 2008

friday night...stooping to conquer!

this is what my friday night was about, candles and music, a couple of reading, random picture taking(of the tables and chairs and my toenails...lol)phone calls...

i love candles, haven't done the whole meditation thing in ages, i started doing it when i was advised to start yoga to help with the hyper-mobility thingy, i couldn't care less with the yoga but i loved the calmness i felt.

so when i knew my night was going to be indoors, i looked in my drawer for candles but couldn't find any...i had used them all up and kept telling myself i'd get more. luckily i found some in a freebie pack i got from a 'true love magazine' workshop, two vanilla scented candles, i looked in an old hamper and there was one giant candle in it. just three but they did it for me. i love to light as many as i can, close my eyes and listen to some soothing music, norah jones, frank sinatra, micheal jackson, al greene, enya...a lil jazz(in no particular order)...you get the drift. and maybe a glass of wine,


most times i'm lying backwards on the exercise ball(which we never use for the real thing lol')
decided i wanted to take a picture of it...twas too dark so you wouldn't notice the stack of chocolate and my food craze of the moment, cheese and yogurt...yeap, cheese and yogurt, dont ask, i have no idea why my body wants the combination so bad.

this candle lit moments are usually my thinking moments.
my thought this day was 'quit the bullshit' and yes i know better and imma quit the bullshit, i ain't no super woman, i might do the whole Micheal jackson styled spin whenever i take one of those quizzes that ranks me as an 'independent woman at the top of her game', yes destinys child independent woman has been my theme song since forever, but beyonce sure got a man despite her Independence.time to smell the coffee here, i cant be jonsing while shes chilling.

so i'm stepping down from my throne of self sufficiency, i'm stooping down to conquer or rather i'm stooping down to let myself be conquered. i'm not going on a man hunt, no. i'll just make myself an easy prey(okay this doesn't sound right.) lets see, i'll just let my trail an easy one to track(whatever that means, you get the drift) leaving my mind open to possibilities(that's better said)
i'm tired of having lots of 'boyfriends', i want a BOYFRIEND! i want to go out for dinner with one of my own not 'one who wants to be' or 'one whos just a good friend"..lol.i could still be a power girl and be taken care of yeah? i can still stand on my own and yet have someone to lean on.....see i'm scared of love and the whole idea, i'm scared that i might end up discovering that i am human and not really a 'fantasy queen' who can fade out situations and jump into another imagery, my heart would eventually get broken because it ain't an illusion as i've imagined,and I'll be devastated, cos when i love it'd be one hell of a love i'm sure, so why the hell would he break my fragile heart?....maybe they thought of me when they said 'tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all'
my spirit is so willing but my body is weak.

so y'all get ready for the initial public offer of Fantasy queen, this conversion to a public limited company was reached after series of deliberations. offer open from now to when i get my mind back. first come basis considered here. juveniles. joint smoking, scrubs and lazy out of work losers would be disqualified. applicants must be able to respect privacy, understand 'no hold hands' phases etc, and oh, applicants must also cover their own insurance as company might as seems appropriate decide to go private again.lol okay I'm crazy selling myself off like some under priced stock..lol
that's what happens when i'm holed in on a Friday night.
wish me luck as i wait patiently to be conquered!



33 comments :

  1. Firsssssssssssstttt...Am good!

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  2. lmao...u have gone plc????

    Correct babe like u,plc...berra change that pronto...I think you wrote this under the influence of them wine glasses and cannot be held liable...

    On a serious note though...no matter how self sufficient a woman is she still needs a man...

    If not for anything ...just to bug the life out of him...

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  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  4. No fair afrobabe....geezzz, let me come first for once...ah!!!

    FQ...daz some good news...(is it?) whether ur still under the influence of good wine, I dunno...I sincerely hope find a good man worthy enough of you, mayn...can't stand the fact that one bastard could come around n ruin everything n make u regret ur Initial Public Offer...

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  5. TO ALL APPLICANTS: all applications should be forwarded to bumight@gmail.com
    Include a copy of your resume,
    Pls note that we would require a credit check (for yankee applicants) and an investment portfolio for all others.
    Act fast! deadline approaching!!!

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  6. Thank you, FQ.

    For reminding me to take time out to think.
    Whether I do it or not is another thing.

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  7. She stoops to conquer.... ur beau will sur ecome around soon.

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  8. all good things come to those who wait.
    patience, young jedi

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  9. Good luck gal.im wit u jare tired of waitin.

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  10. Gurl, this step is a welcome step o! May a good man find you. AMEN!

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  11. lol
    this time i feel safe to go wit afrobabe on her advise, i am sure this is one of her LUCID moments...lmao

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  12. Hmmm. The fanatsy queen herself! Lol @ Bumight!

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  13. afrobabe..u're definately good, like u've been doing some training..lol

    LMAO..to bug him right? and maybe spend all his money.

    maybe i should accept the 'wine influnce' cos reading back it feels kinda of silly.

    charizard...i think its good news that i'm willing to let go of selfishness and let someone enjoy the fine things i have to offer...lol

    bumight..how could i not have mentioned you as my issuing house eh?
    you're doing a good job.

    but cuz, can i trust you to send the good applications my way and not keep them for yourself?lol

    tobenna..you're welcome. but be warned thinking too much makes for crazy ideas best left buried.

    bold and beautiful...i'm waiting, impatiently for that.

    freaksho...to those who wait, well i guess i'm just starting on my whole hearted waiting, so it berra come my way or i'll so hunt the good things out.

    anonymous gal...jion in the wagon jare, i can even ask my virtual cousin bumight to arrange an offer for you...gosh that sounds so big pimpingish.

    naija chikito...may he find me oh....ami. at least i'm doing my part by stooping low enough.

    ms emmotions...yes, my girl afrobabe does sound lucid yeah? looks like someone took her medication today..lol

    ejura...me in flesh and spirit. out of my eldorado for a min. lol

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  14. where can i pick up a form?

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  15. FQ u don't need a man, u need Jesus! the bible says'come unto me all ye that labour and i'll give u rest" (i could have sworn i used this same verse 4 carlang, maybe ur meant to be with carlang, dontu think so?)
    K wut has ma bible verse got to do with anything? hmmmmmm na wa 4 me.

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  16. FQ and Carlang? What's going on gurl? Is there sumtin you ain't telling aunty Jura? U know you can talk to me sweetie.

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  17. LMAO!
    Bloggers have been cracking me upo all morning!

    Fantasy queen, a whole fine girl like you dey do public offer?? Enh?!

    This is serious o! We need to hook you up sharpish. Oya send me a profile of the kinda guy u need and end that IPO,lol!

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  18. LMAO!
    Bloggers have been cracking me upo all morning!

    Fantasy queen, a whole fine girl like you dey do public offer?? Enh?!

    This is serious o! We need to hook you up sharpish. Oya send me a profile of the kinda guy u need and end that IPO,lol!

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  19. LOL @ IPO. What of private placement na? What is the minimum number of units we can apply for sef? When we go see certificate?

    I see Bumight is your stockbroker. What is her percentage. Let her not go and keep the best applicants for herself o.

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  20. m...give me a call aight? who knows we might get you some special allotements.

    DL...ahhh, praise be to the great jah...is it you or an alter preaching..LMAO. i already have jesus as a spiritual comapanion now i need the physical
    and this match making you're imposing on carl and i, take it easy oh. no special allotements here.

    aunty jura...i promise you theres no hot gist here, DL's going all crazy again.

    princessa...ah, when you brother has gotten a wife already, what do you expect me to do? jons?
    i'm waiting impatiently for what you've got to offer me..lol

    atutu..thats why i'm keeping a close tab on bumight, it wouldnt do to trust her completely..lol

    we're only offering self as a whole,no half measures.
    certificate guaranteed after first three successful dates, no long story like the nigerian market...lol

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  21. U will find true lv my dear n ur heart wnt b broken.

    Like the ad and job description. lol.

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  22. Hmmmm public offer? I dey feel your vibes.You gonna find love soon ehn. You are hilarious!

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  23. Honey the man will walk right into your life....i do know what you mean about waiting. Waiting it seems is necessary for the right end result.

    Love the post, spoke volumes to me

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  24. @ afrobabe, *hint,hint* is that a cue for FQ to be first, ehn?...lol

    hmm, FQ, i totally relate with u on this post.
    the IPO idea is not bad jare, just make sure the price is high, cuz what men get easy, they dont value. that said, what's the price per unit?...lol

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  25. FQ I can see by your actions that you are a bold entrepreneur to have chosen the midst of a credit crunch to launch your IPO. You know you can always seek private equity or even sovereign fund agencies.

    As for love, you love, you win some, lose some, hearts that break can also mend. As my home girl Alanis Morrisette put it "You live, You love, You learn".

    Good luck.

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  26. @atutu: my percentage?
    you just send in your application. It's going to be free and fair...i hink. Application forms are running out fast!

    @FQ: you dont trust me completely? I'm heartbroken *sob*

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  27. Omg FQ ur gonna love me so much right now, I found a man 4 u.....yes yes I know, I'm d best!
    I was thinking, since I don't want meat cutter, y don't I just give him to u, u know?
    K k I hav a feelin ud refuse, so how about ma brother?
    Well I stil think u shud consider meatcutter sha n 4 d record he has d huge yoruba mark on his face...........

    P.s-k 4 some reasn I saw u in ma dream last night(which xplains y I'm on ur blog now), wanna knw wut u were doin in ma dream? K come close let me whisper *u were havin a threesome*, hope no 1 heard d@.

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  28. oluwadee...thanks, thats an appealing thing to look forward to.

    todays ranting..lol, i'm holding on to any word of encouragement i can get.

    jarrai...thats what they say about waiting. hope they're right.

    samragd...easy they aint getting here babes. unit price? well my issuing house is dealing with that so i cant tell. you know someone whos interested?

    naapali...somehow i believe your 'goodluck' is sincerely sincere so i'm holding on to it.

    bumight...aww sweety i trust you but when it comes to men...well a girls got to do what a girls got to do..even if its to sisters.lmao.

    @DL...u wanna make ur dreams come true?...lol i'm sure i can only think where the idea came from...like the genesis of the dream...

    as for mr meat cutter, na so u harshe reach? haba babes. but one mans meat is another mans pioson...
    so who knows, he might just be that charmer i need and after sales of his meat he might be able to afford majority shares in my company..LMAO! yeye girl.

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  29. I love candles. It's always nice to take time to meditate. I have jumped on the i want a boyfriend bandwagon. I just have to figure out their qualifications. Ciao

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  30. my sista, these comments are making me laugh. lol!

    BTW, I have 2 sons, oh...all this talk of looking for boyfriend. hahaha

    Take care of you.

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  31. Nice blog.

    Really interesting.

    *smiles*








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